The One About The Friend Who Doesn’t Like Wine

dscn7498Don’t you love a friend who is on a good rant?

Not a close-minded whiner who is spewing hate and prejudice.  No, I’m talking about someone who feels strongly about something.

Someone who has researched the topic and has lots of facts, and opinions, on this particular topic.

Someone with the ability to talk in a nuanced, yet entertaining way, about said offensive topic, which he takes personally while it does not bother you at all.

But, because you are a loyal friend, you let this someone, who we shall call Edward, go on & on about his hatred of… WINE.

Yes, my gentle readers, I have a friend who despises wine.

He’s not against alcohol consumption, nor is he being a snob about quality.  Edward just hates everything about wine and the culture + history around it.

He thinks it’s a scam to believe wine is healthy. “Drink a beer, eat some grapes.”

He thinks it’s a scam to buy expensive huge glasses from which to drink the wine. “Buy the happy couple a toaster.”

He thinks that wine is a way for pretentious insecure people to lord their “knowledge” over the rest of us. “Go take a long walk off a short pier.” 

And he thinks that there is no tasty wine anywhere on earth. “It’s just vinegar with good PR.” 

I’d never try to convince Edward that he is wrong about wine.

Partially because he is a grown-up and it’s his choice to cut the substance out of his life. And partly because when he goes off on this rant I know that there’ll be more wine in this world for me.  😉  

Like I said above, don’t you just love a friend who is on a good rant!

TGIF, everyone.  Have a good weekend.  See you next week.

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Looking for the crumb of truth in the cookie of life.

61 thoughts on “The One About The Friend Who Doesn’t Like Wine”

  1. I don’t drink alcohol because I went through breast cancer and the cancer link, but I’ve never heard of the snobbery link! Ha! I loved wine. Although I do know a few people who would make me nervous when they came for dinner. I always served them the bottle they brought, since ours was purchased for less than $15!!! I totally get what he’s saying, but I can’t imagine giving it up for that reason. He must be a character!

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    1. susie, Edward is a hoot. I adore how he has facts about why he hates wine + lots of opinions. Not a mean guy, just a person with a definite pov about something that is, in essence, optional in life.

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  2. Haha! I seldom order or buy wine ~ an occasional Riesling or Sangria ~ but I’ll accept a glass of white wine when its offered.

    Given the choice, I prefer whisky, rum, and craft beers.

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    1. nancy, I like a sauvignon blanc or a pinot noir if/when I have wine, but I could live the rest of my life without wine and be ok about it. However, I know to some people wine is the sustenance of life and I don’t begrudge them it. Edward, however, has strong opinions about the stuff! Gotta love him for it.

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  3. I don’t like red wine, I can drink white but prefer a pinky blush. Actually, Fuzzy Navel wine coolers are my absolute favorite. I can think of many ways to spend what it costs for a “good” bottle of wine (think concert tickets!) But, I don’t rant because everyone has a right to their beverage of choice. I agree, though, that listening to a friend with a rant can be entertaining! Happy Friday.

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    1. Janet, I’m more of a beer drinker than a wine drinker. But if I’m at someone’s house and they’ve made the effort to buy a good bottle to go with dinner, I’ll have some. To be polite, I guess. [Although now that I think about it, not having some wine would be more polite because there’d be more for the other people who really like the wine.]

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  4. Edward just hasn’t experienced wine right. *nose going up in the air* First you have to examine the contents of the glass, savoring the richness of the color. A taste for your eyes. Then swirl it around and watch how the wine’s legs create pathways along the length of the glass hinting at the fun one is about to have. Next take a deep breath, allowing the fragrance to fill your nose. Is that a note of earth you detect? How delightful! Visualize the entire life cycle of the grapes plumping in the sun as you take that first taste. Make sure to keep a slight gap open between your lips as you do so that you can suck in air as you savor that first sip. When done right, the magical juice bubbles on your tongue exciting one’s sense of touch as well as taste.

    With such a complete sensory experience, can you blame people for maintaining separate goblets?

    Now if you tell me Edward also doesn’t like coffee, I might start to seriously question your tastes in friends. 🙂

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    1. Allie P, I’ve never considered wine in the way you describe it here. “Visualize the entire life cycle of the grapes plumping in the sun as you take that first taste.” Delightful. Will do as you instruct the next time I drink wine.

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  5. Like your friend, I’m not a fan of wine. I do, however, like all the atmosphere that goes with it. The Niagara Region (Canada) is pretty much wine country now and I envy those who clamour through vineyards and tour the wineries. They are beautiful, but I am always the one that says ,”No thank you” to the wine tasting. They look at me like I’m crazy.

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    1. silkpurseproductions, I’m not big into wine, either. Funny you’d mention the Niagara Region. Just this week I received a gift of some ice wine from there. Not offering any to Edward! 😉

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  6. This was the first blog post I read of yours Ally, and you made me LOL (and I’m at work..shhhh lol) Love it! I have a few “friends” that are like this. Just have to laugh and drink my glass of wine while they talk lol Tal xo

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    1. yogatationca, glad I could give you a laugh. I’m with you. When friends go off on these sorts of rants, I sit back and enjoy. If I happen to have a glass of wine or a beer in hand, all the better.

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    1. Zen-Den, yes, you do a wonderful rant about melons. For a fellow who’ll eat almost anything, it’s fun to listen to you go on about your food nemesis, the cantaloupe.

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    1. triciabarkernde, I’m amazed that you found the story about the poor lonely beet! I wrote that so long ago. Glad you enjoyed it. Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. I am in agreement with Team Edward at least on that sub-category of wine drinkers who are all snooty about it. You can share with him, if he’s not already aware, that there have been a bunch of studies and/or pranks where labels were switched and the wine drinkers, even the experts, preferred the cheap wine with expensive labels. But it’s not only wine drinkers. I had a British friend who hated pilsners so all American beers were complete shite according to him. I’m pretty sure that coffee and chocolate connoisseurs are guilty of the same thing – well all foodies, right? We all have preferences and the thing that bugs me most about online reviews is if someone doesn’t like something, it’s completely worthless and no one should like it.

    My rants, by the way, are much more emotionally based than fact and researched based.

    Also, my FB feed yesterday was full of posts about pesticides and arsenic in wine. I’m sure that is worth a rant by itself.

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    1. Zaz, I’m not surprised, I suppose, by the results of the wine label switching experiment. I used to read lots of wine reviews hoping to learn more about the stuff. What I concluded was that wine is a subjective experience and that I was better off drinking a beer! I’d heard about the arsenic in wine from… Edward, of course.

      I agree about your assessment of many foodie connoisseurs. They take themselves too seriously and then want to impose their standards on everyone else. To what I end, I wonder. When it comes to food and drink, you like what you like.

      [BTW, I tried to comment on your blog but there was nowhere to do so. It didn’t say “comments closed.” WP just didn’t offer me the opportunity to comment. Is that what you want?]

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  8. I can’t stand wine either(perverted grape juice, which I also don’t like), but unlike Edward, I WISH I liked wine. Unfortunately, I like medium dark beer which is full of calories and not so great for the waistline. 😉

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    1. Margaret, I can take or leave wine. I prefer beer/ale which, as you mentioned, is full of calories… but oh so tasty. I like your term “perverted grape juice.” Will tell Edward so he can add it to his lexicon.

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  9. Oh, poor Edward. But, as other commenters said, “More for me!”

    As far as the ranting, well–I guess I can always walk away when it gets to be Obnoxious and Too Much. Or, if it’s in a post, I can click away and read something else.

    Read where you got some Ice Wine…. Mix it equal parts with vodka and have a lovely Ice Wine Martini. That stuff is SO sweet; it’s a dessert on its own.

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    1. nance, I enjoy someone who has an opinion, and a sense of humor, about something not controversial, then has the gumption to say it. Thanks for the ice wine drink recipe. Don’t quite know what to do with it.

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  10. I don’t like wine either. I’ll drink the fake kosher wine that tastes like grape juice, but even that will be on a rare occasion. I guess I’m just not refined, but that’s okay, I’ll take a diet pepsi any day over wine.

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    1. Dawn, I like vodka once in a while, too. I’m not sure what wine ever did to Edward, but he’s against it. I mean, I dislike rum, but I don’t make a big deal out of it. Of course, I enjoy Edward’s rants so I don’t mention the foregoing. Thanks for stopping by.

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