Desperately Seeking Gladys Kravitz

June 20, 2014June 20, 2014 / Ally Bean / 34 Comments

Late Tuesday afternoon we received an email from the HOA. The message in the email told us that there had been 4 burglaries in the past 10 days in one part of our large subdivision.

Even though the break-ins are miles from where we live, the HOA asked that all residents turn on their outdoor lights at night. This is because the burglaries happened in the middle of night while families were at home, asleep upstairs.

[I’ll wait here while what I just wrote sinks into your brain. At home. Asleep. While having your house burgled. YIKES!]

# # #

First of all let me tell you that we are a cooperative bunch of suburbanites when under attack. To wit, the last few nights our part of the subdivision has been so well-lit that pilots would feel comfortable landing their planes on our streets.

[So that’s a good thing. For us. And for Duke Energy, as well. *sigh*]

# # #

And secondly, while I’m not thrilled with these latest developments, they do underscore the need for everyone who lives around here to be more aware of everyone & everything that goes on around here. That is to say, it’s time for you, my lovely neighbors, to look up from your smart phones and actually interact with your environment.

You know, like we did in the dark ages when phones with cords plugged into walls. And neighbors said “hello” to each other when they met on the street. And burglars knew that somewhere in every neighborhood was a nosy, noisy Gladys Kravitz who saw everything.

[Oddly enough, that’s who we need around here. Her prying eyes would be most helpful right about now, don’t you think?]

# # #

BREAKING NEWS:

It’s 10:00 a.m. Friday morning and we just received this email update from our HOA:

“… we learned that there was another burglary attempt around 3am this morning at XXXX Drive. The police spotted the intruders before they were able to enter the home. The accomplice was caught, but the other burglar was able to get away.”

Now how long until the accomplice turns on the other burglar?

Project Hummer Is Not Going Well

June 17, 2014November 19, 2015 / Ally Bean / 46 Comments

– • –

I’m sad to report that my grand plan for turning one corner of our deck into a small hummingbird garden/feeding station is not going well. It’s not for lack of cuteness, I tell you.

– • –

Here’s what I’ve done.

√ 3 pots of annuals: 1 dark red geranium, 1 hot pink calibrachoa, 1 fuchsia portulaca

√ 1 sturdy wrought iron shepherd’s hook attached to side of deck

√ 1 hand-painted hummingbird feeder with red plastic pretend flowers that allow the hummers to drink, but thwart the bees

√ 1 32 oz. hummingbird nectar concentrate, chilled in our fridge, then mixed with fresh water using an old Pyrex glass measuring cup to insure proper proportions

– • –

No, it’s not me that’s causing trouble with the hummers. It is, I’m sad to report, Fuzzy the Squirrel and his partner in crime, Khaki, who are causing Project Hummer to fail.

Apparently the sweet nectar in the pretty feeder is too much for them to pass up, so they’ve found a way to tilt the feeder on its side allowing the sweet nectar to dribble onto the ground below where they can enjoy it at their squirrel-y leisure.

– • –

This means that until I figure out a way to keep Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid of squirrels away from the hummingbird feeder, my grand plan is on hold. And all those amazing little hummers who live behind our house in the woods will have to feed themselves on the 22 pink or red or peach rose bushes that surround our house.

The little birds will survive, but I won’t get the fun of seeing them drink up each day… all because two sneaky, uncooperative squirrels have found the best nectar bar in town. Humph.

QOTD: What Do You Really Call Your “Honey Do” List?

June 14, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 12 Comments

We all know what a “Honey Do” List is, right? It’s that wonderful list kept by almost every woman on which she tells her beloved sweetie pie what tasks around the house need to be done next.

~ ~ • ~ ~

[If you’ve always thought that people were talking about a “Honeydew” List I’m sorry to disabuse of this charming, albeit wrong, idea. We women are not keeping lists about melons. We’re keeping lists about things to do.]

[Image sources here & here.]

~ ~ • ~ ~

So getting to my point, in our household the “Honey Do” List has been renamed. As we all know Zen-Den gets to the essence of things, and in this case he got it right when he began to refer to what you might call a “Honey Do” List as:

Ally’s List of S#%t That’s Wrong Around Here.

And Then It Rained…

June 12, 2014 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

• • •

All week it’s been raining here. I like one day of rain once in a while and I understand its importance, but rain every day makes me:

Anxious. Nervous. Unsettled.

There is noise all the time: water hitting the roof, water running down the gutters, water moving in the creek at the back of our property.

There is grayness everywhere: outside in the garden beds, outside when driving along the roads, inside during the day.

There is mold everywhere: making my eyes itch, making the deck slippery, making my allergies go into overdrive.

Given my druthers I’d rather have a gray winter day with snow than this endless wetness. Which, if the weather forecast is to be believed, is going to be with us until the weekend.

Annoyed, I am.

• • •