The V-beam Laser: Looking Puffy, Feeling Angsty

August 14, 2013 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

HERE’S WHAT’S UP with me this week: I’m at home hiding inside my house. This is because I had a V-beam laser treatment at the doctor’s office a few days ago and now my face, as it heals, is a puffy mess.

Yes, I look like a cross between a jack-o-lantern and a piglet. Well, not orange or pink, but structurally that’s what I look like. In bright red. Like I spent the day at the beach without sunblock.

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SO WHY DID I have another V-beam treatment? Good question. Glad you asked.

I suffer from rosacea. This means that my face gets all red and blotchy because of annoying spider veins, blood vessels and broken capillaries which show through my pale skin. ‘Tis not pretty.

And it is embarrassing because I look like I’m embarrassed even though I know that I’m not. This, in turn, makes me flush red because I’m embarrassed about how I look embarrassed when I’m not really embarrassed. [With me here?]

# # #

THE PROPENSITY FOR rosacea occurs within anyone with a northern European heritage. It’s genetics, people. And as such you have three options.

Ignore it and pretend that looking like a drunk all the time is exactly the image you want to project;
Avoid certain trigger foods and drinks while taking daily antibiotics to tame the redness; OR
Have periodic V-beam laser treatments at the doctor’s office to zap those annoying ugly red veins, vessels and capillaries out of existence.

# # #

BUT ROSACEA IS a condition for which there is no cure; one can only manage the symptoms. To wit, each round of laser treatments destroys some of the veins, vessels and capillaries, but there are always more just waiting to make their appearance on your face.

Which is why I’m once again at home avoiding the sun, dodging all mirrors and waiting for my face to not feel fat. If experience holds true, the results will be worth it… but the wait is making me angsty.

# # #

[Not my doctors, but some V-beam laser information if you’re interested.]

University of North Carolina

University of Virginia

YouTube video of doctor doing procedure like the one I had done.

The One With Ally’s Weird Dream

May 2, 2013May 4, 2013 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

{ Image Source: The Silent Films Still Archive – Up the Road with Sallie (1918)}

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First, I’ll tell you about the dream:

driving in my white coupe down road in flat farm country where I grew up – get behind slow-moving gray van – pass on the left but van pushes me off the road into corn field – drive safely through field and get back on road in front of van – once in front of van my car turns into my blue bike from when I was a girl – ride bike to lowest level of parking garage at a mall near where I live now – lock bike on bike rack – rearrange all of my stuff into bags so that it is comfortable for me to carry – Abby Sciuto [of NCIS] looks on as I do this – then off we go together to shop upstairs in the mall

Then, I’ll explain the weird part:

In the dream I lock my bike using my girlhood yellow bike lock. When I first look at the lock I’m dismayed because I don’t know the combination, but then I think about it– and remember the lock combination. For real. In my dream. The actual lock combination for a lock that I haven’t used in decades.

Finally, I’ll hypothesize about what this dream might mean:

I’ve flipped for sure this time.
My subconscious is telling me that I’ve unlocked something [important?] from my past.
I need to stop watching NCIS before I go to sleep.
My subconscious is telling me that I’m all organized now, so it is time for me to move on.
On the roadways of life, small & determined [my coupe] trumps large & in the way [the van].
My subconscious is telling me that it’s time for me to start exercising more.
I’m way cooler in my dreams than I am in real life.

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me The News

February 18, 2013February 25, 2015 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

In one week I went to the eye doctor and the lady bits doctor. They are not on the same page as to what I need to do, henceforth, to stay a healthy and whole woman. In fact, putting together their advice I am left with a math word problem.

I never liked math word problems when I was twelve– and I do not like them any better now that I am many decades beyond twelve. Here is what I have to figure out:

<begin snarl>

Ally wants to be a healthy person. She is on a train called YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME heading toward the town known as OLD AGE.

According to the eye doctor, who wants the redness and dryness in her eyes to abate, Ally is to take 2 antibiotics each day. These are to be taken on an empty stomach 1 hour before eating OR 2-3 hours after eating. They are never to be taken before eating anything with calcium in it.

According to her lady bits doctor, who wants all women to have strong bones, Ally is supposed to eat 3 servings of calcium-rich food each day. These foods include all sorts of low-fat, no-fat dairy products + soybeans + raw spinach. Also, she is to take 1 calcium supplement each day.

So, how does Ally get to the junction of SEEING CLEARLY and NO BROKEN BONES while riding along on the YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME train without making a major stop at I NEED TO GET MY HEAD EXAMINED? Or before becoming derailed in the ‘burg known as YEAST INFECTION? Or before being stopped by the outlaw gang known as RAW SPINACH MAKES MY FACE TURN RED?

Hmm? How does Ally do this?

<end snarl>

And with that question in mind, I shall wander off to solve this ridiculous word problem with a pad of paper + pen, a mug of coffee & a less than enthusiastic attitude. If figuring out word problems such as this is what old age is going to be all about, I’m having a few doubts about my ability to age gracefully. Or to even care about good health. ‘Ya know what I mean?

This is craziness.

A Mid-Winter Sunday Morning In The Park

February 10, 2013July 1, 2025 / Ally Bean / 19 Comments

“Many people don’t realize that it’s in what you think are the limitations of a certain form that you can often find your own rhythm and space.”

~ Isabelle Huppert

Sunday was one of those monotone, nondescript days that was neither lovely nor lousy. Not too cold. Not too wet. Not too bleak.

I had almost no energy. Whether it was because of the weather or because we ran around all day on Saturday, I don’t know. Doesn’t matter because I had no pep.

But I thought that we really should do something, so I talked the hubster into going to a city park that we hadn’t been to in years. I remembered that it was flat, paved and had decent parking.

At first I wasn’t going to take my camera with me thinking that without vibrant color outside there’d be nothing to take a picture of. But then I realized that taking photos on a winter day that offered neither sunshine nor snow would be a fun challenge, so the camera came with us. Just in case I saw something I wanted to photograph.

Here’s what I saw…

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