Meh.

A Quiz About 7-Up + Milk, A Blended Food Drink

/ Ally Bean / 21 Comments

:: REQUIRED READING ::

{ source }

:: THE QUIZ ::

Q1:  Can anyone read this advertisement and not wonder: huh?    

  • Correct answer:  Of course not.

Q2:  Can anyone of a certain age look at this advertisement and not be reminded of Laverne who drank milk and Pepsi?

  • Correct answer:  Of course not.

Q3:  Can anyone guess who’d be nutty enough to walk into her kitchen and try this combo?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.

Q4:  Can anyone imagine just how icky it is to drink sip a taste of this allegedly wholesome combination?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.

Q5:  Can anyone please remember to occasionally remind me that not all of my ideas are good ones?

  • Correct answer:  Of course you can.  

:: CLASS DISMISSED ::

Cold. Bored. But With A Song In My Heart. Or Something Like That.

/ Ally Bean / 16 Comments

DSCN1908

~ • ~

Let’s pretend, for purposes of discussion, that in an uncharacteristic development, I’ve discovered that I have NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT here today.      

That after a week of being at home, unable to get my car down our driveway onto the street due to an ice build-up at the bottom of the driveway where it meets the street, I have NO STORIES TO TELL.    

That after this weather-induced hermit experience my creativity and awareness have disappeared, lost in the boredom that comes from DOING TOO MUCH NOTHING BY MYSELF.

Meaning that all I have to share with you, my gentle readers, is a photo of a birch tree branch that fell on top of the icy snow, making a lovely visual summation of my current situation: IT’S FREEZING OUTSIDE AND I GOT NOTHING MUCH TO DO.         

Except, I guess, to decide what song needs to be in my heart.  ANY SUGGESTIONS, ANYONE?  Goodness knows, I have the time to listen to them all!

The Saga Of My Search For Incandescent Lightbulbs

/ Ally Bean / 33 Comments

True confessions time.  I’m an incandescent lightbulb hoarder.  I lurve normal lightbulbs.  Soft white glow.  Roundish with an Edison base.  Retro.

Judge me IF you must.

• • •

Here is part of my incandescent lightbulb collection.

Here is part of my incandescent lightbulb collection.

 

• • •

So during these waning days of incandescent lightbulb availability, off I go to buy 25 Watt lightbulbs to replace the ones in the outdoor light fixture that provides light onto our deck.  

As you can imagine, they were almost impossible to find.  And when, after searching through 3 stores, I did find them at The Home Depot, I had to use the do-it-yourself checkout station… which didn’t work.

The screen was FROZEN.

• • •

It was at this point in my search for incandescent lightbulbs that I became the pawn of the woman responsible for the do-it-yourself checkout area.  And things became a bit difficult.

First, she didn’t believe that my screen wouldn’t work, so she tried seven times to make it go.  At this she failed.

Then when it was clear to her that my screen was, indeed, frozen,  she decided to ring up my purchase of $8.91 at her central register and have me hand her my $10.00 bill.  At this point in the transaction my frozen-screened do-it-yourself checkout station was to give me my change.

This would have been a great idea IF she had correctly entered $10.00 into her register, BUT she didn’t.

• • •

{ source }

{ source }

 

• • •

No, she put into her central register that I had handed her a $1000.00 bill– and suddenly my frozen-screened do-it-yourself checkout station started spewing out $20.00 bills at a speed and in a way comparable to a figure skater doing triple lutzes.

Pushing me aside, The Home Depot employee made a dash for the cash coming out of my frozen-screened do-it-yourself checkout station.  She was in a panic.  A minute or two later when she had all the cash in her hand she was so flustered that she couldn’t figure out how to continue with my transaction.

And I was in NO MOOD to leave the store without my $1.09 change.

• • •

So I waited, with a line of customers behind me, until The Home Depot employee regained her composure.  Then, using a magic key that she had on a cord around her neck, she unlocked the entire bottom section of my frozen-screened do-it-yourself checkout station and counted out my change from the big till in there.

Consequently, a mere ten minutes after stepping up to the do-it-yourself checkout station, The Home Depot employee handed me a bag filled with what might be the most difficult to find– and to pay for– 25 Watt lightbulbs in the world.

THE END.  

[Hello FTC!  Please note that I’m explaining my point-of-view about things and my experiences while buying such things.  There was no monetary &/or other compensation involved whatsoever.  I know that you’re a wise & wonderful governmental department so you probably already knew that, right?  Just wanted to be clear.]  

Deconstructing The Party That, For Most Of Our Guests, Wasn’t

/ Ally Bean / 25 Comments

I.  Things for the party began to fall apart a few days before Friday.  It was small things at first.  

Zen-Den got food poisoning, a rarity, and took to bed for 32 hours.  He felt horrible, but eventually rallied.  His illness was unexpected, but no reason to cancel a party.

[Poor guy.]     

Then I had ridiculous problems placing the “customizable” deli sandwich tray order.  We had received a brochure in the mail that told us what was available and at what price.  Well, when I went in to place the order, turned out that for the deli, the word “customizable” meant me choosing between turkey or chicken salad on rolls of the deli’s choosing.  

[Say what?]

And then at the bakery the man told me that I couldn’t have the Santa Claus face, made of cupcakes, that had been such a hit at last year’s party.  He told me that the woman who decorated them no longer worked there, so wouldn’t I like a boring red + white candy cane cupcake cake instead?

[Hell no!]

II.  So on Thursday morning before the party, having survived the aforementioned small debacles, I thought we were in great shape.  House decorated.  Bathrooms cleaned.  Food ordered &/or purchased.  Pretty paper plates + napkins.  Booze aplenty.  Wine glasses washed and ready to go.  Coolers for the beer and soda on the porch.  Gifts wrapped.  Outside decorated.  Guest bedrooms ready for our overnight guests.

I was ready for 54 friends and acquaintances.  Let the party begin.

III.  What happened after Thursday morning is blurry.

First, early in the afternoon some out-of-state guests started calling because the airlines had cancelled their flights due to bad weather heading our way;  these guests wouldn’t be coming to the party.

However, other out-of-state guests’ flights made it here Thursday afternoon/evening– and, as planned, those guests came to stay with us here at the house.

Then, guests who were in-state, but driving long distances, began to phone to cancel because of the bad weather that was heading our way on Friday.

While I knew that we’d miss those faraway guests, that reason alone wasn’t enough to cancel the party for all the local people.  They could still get through, right?

IV.  Well, I couldn’t have been more wrong.  Friday morning we awakened to streets covered in sheets of ice and a winter snow storm headed our way.  The entire region had closed down, anticipating what turned out to be, by mid-afternoon, a Level 2 Snow Emergency with record amounts of snowfall.

How much snow, you ask?  A mere 6.5″!  Yep, that’s enough to stop everything around here.

So Zen-Den & I did the only thing that we could, we cancelled the party.  And spent the day with our house guests– goofing off.  Then at 6:00 p.m. we had THE PARTY with them and two of our guests who happened to be neighbors who were able to walk over to the house.

Where, I have to say, considering how much we six adults ate and drank, a good time was had by all!  😉