A Conversation About Self-Awareness & Assumptions

February 4, 2016January 9, 2017 / Ally Bean / 36 Comments

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A friend, who was clearly absorbed in her own thoughts, got into my car, buckled up, and without so much as a Sherman T. Potter “howdy-do” said:

Do you think you were wanted?

Now I’m a good friend. Attentive. A natural-born problem solver, but you have to give me some context. So I said the first, rather inarticulate, thing that drifted into my head: huh?

Then the story unfolded as she went on to explain that she’d started reviewing her life, all of her life, in light of a recent setback in which her job ended.

While she understood on a logical level why her job, which she tolerated, had been cut, on an spiritual level this experience had sent her into a spiral of self-doubt– and a need to understand it all.

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We talked for a while. She explained that the question she had asked of me wasn’t about being wanted at work, but about being wanted within a family. That is, did I think/she think that our parents wanted us.

In my case, Yes. In her case, No.

Getting to the crux of her contemplation, she thought that being unwanted early on would have given her some superpower to automatically know when that sort of thing was happening again.

In other words, because she was so sure of herself had she missed some sign that she was going to be kicked to the curb by this employer?

We came to no definitive conclusion about her recent job loss, but we did stumble upon a good topic of conversation about self-awareness. That is, how we all make assumptions based on previous experiences.

And how those assumptions when applied to the here and now, aren’t always a good guide for how to live your life, even though it’s easy to delude yourself into thinking that they are.

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Of Long Forgotten Blogrolls & Kind Delurkers

January 22, 2016August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 33 Comments

[Received this snazzy award on Monday.]

ONE FACT I’VE LEARNED ABOUT BLOGGING in my 12 years bouncing around the blogosphere is that things change.

To wit, I always liked having a blogroll, but a few years ago I realized that keeping an up-to-date blogroll had turned into a monthly chore. Bloggers were coming and going from my blog, and the blogosphere, like it was a revolving door.

So instead of putting up with the aggravation and extra work required to keep my blogroll current, I decided to not have one anymore.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE POINT of this particular blog post.

Two weeks ago I asked my blog readers to delurk because that was the week to do it, and I’m pleased to say that your response overwhelmed me.

Who knew so many wonderful people were following The Spectacled Bean? Not me, that’s for sure.

So as a way of expressing my appreciation for the gift of your attention, I give you, my gentle readers and kind delurkers, the following list which is as close to a blogroll as I can muster.

Many thanks to everyone. You’re the best.

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My List Of Blogs Written By People Who Know How To Delurk When Asked To Do So

Solvieg Werner “~ eclectic, multilingual …”

Allie Potts Writes “How to appreciate the everyday”

Naples Girl Blog by Cheri

Views and Mews by Coffee Kat “Kate’s views on life edited by four opinionated cats”

Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride “A life filled with adventure is always a Wild Ride.”

The Write Transition by Carrie

The Green Study by Michelle

It’s All a Matter of Perspective “99.3% truth, .7% blatant lies. in between lies my perspective on life.”

Dept. of Nance “Uncorked and aging nicely”

Mary J. Melange “A hodgepodge of thoughts, ideas and the reality of life.”

One Grain Amongst the Storm “A Mélange of memoirs, fiction, short stories, verses, book reviews and uncorked angst.”

Stargazer “A view inside my universe”

Evil Squirrel’s Nest “Where all the COOL SQUIRRELS hang out!”

Marian Allen, Author Lady “Fantasies, mysteries, comedies, recipes”

Practically Wise “Musings & Meditations From An Aspiring Matriarch”

reading interrupted. “because reading also involves the way your head rests on your hand as you lean over a book, the damp mark you leave on a page when reading in the tub, or being interrupted by a”

Philosopher Mouse of the Hedge “Simple observations, analysis, and common sense comments”

Around ZuZu’s Barn “Conversations With Kindred Spirits”

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Hello Red Heart Emoji, Bye-Bye Mary Jane

November 4, 2015February 11, 2016 / Ally Bean / 28 Comments

YESTERDAY PEOPLE IN MY WORLD talked about two diverse topics: 1) Twitter icon, acceptance of new “like” paradigm and subsequent “heart” emoji; & 2) marijuana, legalization for all uses of said within our state.

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Screenshot from my Twitter feed.

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ALL DAY WHEREVER I WENT, online or in real life, I read or heard a variety of points of view about the above two issues. Everybody had a strong opinion, sometimes logic-based, often loudly stated, but freely given.

Thus in the spirit of being a transparent blogger, and a pleasant real life human being, I’ll tell you what I think about these two topics. That followed me like a lost puppy everywhere I went yesterday.

I don’t really care.

I have no strong opinion about either of these issues.

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WHICH IS NOT TO SAY that I’m ignorant nor waffling under the strain of deciding what I think. No, it’s just saying that because something happens in my world, does not mean that I have a strong opinion about it.

I have preferences, but being an introvert I often keep them to myself. Or only share them with people close to me. Like you, my gentle readers.

To wit, here are my preferences about yesterday’s topics: 1) I’m not thrilled to be an adult using a cutesy emoji to communicate that I like something a fellow adult has said on Twitter; & 2) I’m not for the carte blanche legalization of marijuana sold through ten monopolies.

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Story here.

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I GET THAT PEOPLE ARE frustrated by intractable problems in this world, so they overreact to smaller issues believing they have control over them. But yesterday, y’all outdid yourself dithering and worrying about icons and pot.

Kind of gave me a headache, if you want to know the truth of it all.

And I have to wonder, once again, why I bothered to pay attention to the people spouting off about these issues. Will I never learn to ignore the babble?

Sunshine, Paperweights & The Magic Of Perspective

June 10, 2014January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

I noticed that in the late afternoon the sun shines into our dining room through the French doors. I have a paperweight collection on a table that happens to be in the path of the sunshine.

When the light passes through the paperweights it makes beautiful patterns on the wall. The patterns are easy to see, weirdly shaped and fun to capture with my camera.

On a whim I adjusted my camera focus to distort the sunshine as it went through the paperweights and I found something different to see. Something vaguely familiar, yet unique. Proving once again, that what you see is all in how you go about looking at things.