Proverbial Wisdom, Pithy Thoughts, And My Perfect 2016 One Word

January 7, 2016January 7, 2016 / Ally Bean / 23 Comments

I found this proverb while researching something else and I think it is charming. Obvious wisdom, of course– but delightful nonetheless.

I like it.

And inexplicably this proverb has reminded me that I need to decide what my 2016 one word will be.

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[Pepper comes to mind, but I think that might be a bit too literal for the uplifting abstract nature of the one word concept.]

[Besides if I used pepper this year I’d feel obligated to use Sneeze next year– and that would never do at all.]

[Unless I wanted to commit to Tissue the year after that. 😉 But I digress…]

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Last year my word was RECLUSE and I’m all the better for it.

Using it as my catalyst, I politely detached from most of my social obligations, then used the time I gained to reflect upon how people in my life, real and virtual, were treating me.

The result? Users + negative people everywhere are no longer welcome in my life. Sincere + friendly people, whose actions showed them to be on Team Ally, are now my sole focus.

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This year I’m confounded about what word to pick. 2011 was SMOOTH. 2012 was NURTURE so that’s out. 2013 was BALANCE. 2014 I didn’t even have a word.

So far this year I’ve thought about: harmony, rejuvenation, dream, plan— but those words sound pretentious to me, too vague, too much like what the smarmy voiceover says in a prescription medicine TV commercial.

No, what I need is a word that gets me focused on getting things done and enjoying that which I accomplish. A word that is easy to remember and implement in all situations. A way to know I’m on track to achieving my goals.

A word, perhaps, such as FORWARD??!

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[Why yes, that would do nicely. Why didn’t I think of that before?]

[Because it is only through the process of writing that you, Ms. Bean, figure out your life. Don’t you know that by now?]

[It would seem that I’m learning.]

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So there we have it, my gentle readers. A scintillating thought process explained. An encouraging word chosen. And a pithy blog post written.

Oh, ’tis a happy day– forward I go into 2016!

3 Simple Rules To Make Your Yuletide Joyful

December 15, 2015December 15, 2015 / Ally Bean / 41 Comments

I’M A CHEERFUL CYNIC about this time of the year. Not really a fan of all the seasonal hoopla, but I can see the positive in it.

So as my last blog post of the year, I’ll leave you, gentle readers, with 3 simple rules.

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1) PLAY NICE WITH OTHERS.

2) BE GOOD TO YOUR FAMILY.

3) MAKE THINGS PRETTY.

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AND WITH THAT, I say to you an Irish toast:

“Merry met and merry part, I drink to thee with all my heart.”

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year, everyone.

See you next year.

Revisiting The Intentional Sobriety Experience

October 20, 2015January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

Today will be 6 weeks since I stopped drinking alcohol. And “NO,” I didn’t join AA. But I did decide to stop drinking for three months to see what it’s like to be a sober adult in social situations.

So far I’m finding that it’s boring.

First of all, there’s nothing to look forward to on the weekends. [Oh Barkeep, I’ll have a cranberry juice, please.]
Plus there are no more sparks of creative thinking while inebriated. [What to write, what to write… why can’t I think of something??!]
And, not to put too fine a point on this, there’s no way to politely tune-out the dull peoples when you’re sober. [Dear lord, is that boring man still talking to me?]

• • •

My decision to be alcohol-free came about by accident. On Labor Day afternoon as Zen-Den and I sat outside, drinking the last alcoholic beverages in the house, it occurred to me that I was *duh* sipping the last beer.

We were out of our staples, beer + bourbon + wine.

Z-D was leaving that week for his annual Canada camping trip with his friends, then he was traveling for work most of the rest of the month.

I realized that I’d be on my own most of the time in September, and in that moment it dawned on me this would be a great time to revisit the intentional sobriety experience, something I dabbled in for a few years, a decade ago.

Back then it was difficult for me.

• • •

At this point I’d love to tell you that I’m a better person because of my decision to not drink. That I feel healthier and more alive. Filled with clear thoughts and a strong connection to those people around me.

But I’m too sincere to lie like that.

Despite taking in fewer alcohol calories, I weigh the same as before. So there’s no news of that front.

And despite being an introvert, I haven’t felt any social pressure to drink this time around, confirming that I don’t need alcohol to feel comfortable among the peoples of this world.

No, the only concrete change that I can see is financial. That is, reduced grocery bills and smaller restaurant checks. Nothing to sneeze at, but nothing of much spiritual significance either.

• • •

Obviously I have 6 more weeks to go with Project Intentional Sobriety. I don’t know how I’ll hold up under the upcoming plethora of social activities we’ve planned, but I’m thinking, based on what has unfolded so far, that I’ll do okay.

It might be that not drinking is no big deal for me.

Coming from the WASP-y family that I do, and begging their forgiveness here, I admit that the words above are about as close to an anathema as one can get.

But I said them and I mean them.

People change all the time, right? So maybe, for at least these few months, I am a new Ally Bean. Bored. With a bit more coin in my pocket. But happy that I’ve trusted my instincts to explore this way of living again.

For a while.

Confessions Of A Bad Pansy Momma

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015 / Ally Bean / 32 Comments

Yikes!

With plenty of water, a spot in the sunshine + a prayer to the gardening gods above, I’m thinking that these poor pansies might make it. Right?

~ • ~

ON WEDNESDAY AFTER PLANTING BUNCHES of pansies underneath the monkey grass beside the stone path in the backyard, I was tired of gardening.

I put the rest of the pansies, destined to be interspersed between rose bushes along the front walk, in the garage.

Then while fiddle-farting the rest of the week away, I forgot all about the pansies, until yesterday morning when I stumbled over them.

Clearly, I’m not going to win the Most Beautiful Autumn Yard Award, Amateur Suburban Gardener Division, am I?

[Well, there really never was a possibility that I’d win an award because: a) there is no such thing in this subdivision; & b) I’m the poster child for B+ students everywhere who get close to the prize, but never get the prize.]

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Bombdiggity!

Monarch butterfly feasting on this little yellow milkweed plant that is almost thriving. Sort of. Fingers crossed.

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WHILE MY PANSY MOMMA SKILLS might once again be in question, I’m happy to report that 3 of the 4 potted milkweed plants, purchased at a garden nursery last spring, have lived through the summer.

One plant, encouraged to stand using a bamboo pole stuck in the dirt + cotton twine, has even flowered a few times throughout the summer. I think he’s an amicable little plant, even though he isn’t the strongest one out there, he keeps hanging on.

Literally and figuratively.

Now the question is: are these milkweed plants perennials? Or do I have to do something like save the seeds for next year?

I’m hoping that they take care of themselves, because as my pansy momma experiences have shown, I might not be the most reliable gardener.

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