Snarking

A Short Rant About Conversations With People Who Lack Self-awareness

/ Ally Bean / 202 Comments

~ ~ ☹️ ~ ~

BEGIN [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT

Let’s talk about something regarding people whose lack of self-awareness and conversational style is getting on my nerves this holiday season.

To wit, of late I have twice found myself chatting with a person who says something to the effect of: Here is what happened to me, it is an example of A.

I have then replied by saying: I believe you and agree with your assessment that this is an example of A.  I say this because this is what they’ve told me.

I am not twisting their words.

I am demonstrating understanding and EMPATHY.

At which point I’ve been told that I am wrong: that this situation is not an example of A, it is an example of B.  Why would I suggest otherwise?

Then they glare or snarl at me, she who has repeated back to them that which they said.  I have not embellished what they said nor have I dismissed it.

I have paid attention to them, been STRAIGHTFORWARD– and dare I say KIND to listen to their woes.

And what is my reward for being nice?  Criticism.  As if I am responsible for what happened to them, which I am not.

What I am guilty of, however, is being a mirror that has reflected back to them, in their own words, how they are viewing their reality. And for this, I am made to suffer their crabbiness, their querulousness, their low-level wrath.

[Yes, I just used the thesaurus. Can you tell?]

I’ve no idea about how to handle this kind of RIDICULOUS conversational style, but I do find that I am less inclined to ever want to speak with these people again.

And perhaps that is what they want, for me to go away taking my ACTIVE listening skills and my mirror of truth with me.

So be it, says the introvert.

END [a don’t shoot the messenger] RANT

~ ~ 🤨 ~ ~

Questions of the Day

Thinking about the rant above, have you ever been sniped at for agreeing with, then repeating back, that which someone just said to you?

If so, how do you handle the conversation in the moment and your feelings about it? Does this make you feel peeved, for instance?

If this has not happened to you, can I be friends with you and your friends? Pretty please. 

~ ~ 🤓 ~ ~

Talking Turkey: One Sorry Not Sorry, One Grumble Avoided

/ Ally Bean / 202 Comments

Late afternoon sunlight as seen through trees with leaves turned golden in autumn.

Today is Tuesday. 🗓

This means that if you live in the United States [and if you celebrate Turkey Day] then tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day Eve followed by Thanksgiving Day on Thursday.

I’m not sure if I could’ve made the previous paragraph more convoluted, but probably.  I was trying to be clear and informative, logical even.

Just talking turkey, you know. 😉

It’ll be the two of us celebrating Thanksgiving together this year, most years actually.  We’ve a turkey breast currently in the freezer that I’ll start thawing in the refrigerator soon.  And we’ve the ingredients to make some of the fixings that traditionally go with a turkey dinner.

The usual suspects waiting to be part of Thanksgiving dinner.

YEP to mashed potatoes and stuffing and cranberry sauce and gravy, but NOPE to green bean casserole and yams with little marshmallows.  You may consider those last two sides part of the traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner, but I don’t like them so we’re not gonna have ’em.

Sorry not sorry, don’t even try to convince me otherwise. 🤨

All that’s left for me to do is to go to the bakery to pick up some pies, cherry and pumpkin this year, then get home safely.  Starting today and for the next few days I try to stay away from grocery stores, parking lots around said, and people within.

I’ve learned that Thanksgiving week is one doozy of a chaotic shopping experience in grocery stores.  Generally speaking the shoppers be frenzied, with long lists in hand.  The best thing I can do is stay far away, giving everyone the space they need to shop, while I go home not grumbling about people.

Well, at least not grumbling about the ones in the stores. 🛒

Blue sky with rusty orange leaves, the epitome of an autumn palette.

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

What don’t you like about the traditional Thanksgiving Day dinner? What do you like?

Do you have a sorry not sorry about Thanksgiving, or this week in general?

Tell all in the comments below. 

My 1,000th Post: With Grit, Grins, & Gratitude

/ Ally Bean / 188 Comments

Image of Snoopy, originally drawn by Charles Schultz, courtesy of pngimg.com. Click HERE for a wonderful biography about Snoopy.

• • •

It was a dark and stormy night. 

Literally.

I was sitting in our home office in front of my desktop computer, writing a blog post when there was a dramatic crack of thunder and a flash of lightning outside.

It startled me.

I jumped about 17 gazillion feet into the air and in the process my hand on the mouse moved erratically in such a way as to inadvertently hit DELETE, meaning that faster than you can say “waiter, waiter, percolator” I lost my blog post.

Then the electricity went out in the house.

For hours.

Because of course it did.

• • •

This morning the electricity is back on, but I’ve lost my train of thought about how I was going to say what I wanted to say.

So instead of my nonexistent elegant heartfelt essay about how much blogging has meant to me, showing me a kinder way to live my life, allowing me a glimpse into the lives of other people, I’ll be straightforward and say the following with gratitude.

• • •

THIS IS MY 1,000TH POST ON THIS BLOG.

THANKS TO ALL THE COOL KIDS WHO READ, COMMENT, AND LIKE MY POSTS. I’D NEVER HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR WITHOUT YOUR CONTINUING SUPPORT.

YOU’RE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU ALL.

• • •

[Here is my first blog post, Hello World! I wrote it 10 years + 10 months to this very day. It makes reference to a guiding principle that I believed then and still do. Case in point, how this post came to be.]

My Audacious Truth: In Which I Tweet Agreeably & The Consequence Thereof

/ Ally Bean / 228 Comments

I’m here today to share with you, my little moonbeams, something that happened to me, something that made me laugh more than it should have. I’m trying to work up some righteous indignation, but so far I’m stuck on the absurdity of it.

Someone on Twitter has blocked me. Yes, after 10 years of bouncing around in there I’ve offended someone to such a degree that this person felt the need to turn me into persona non grata.

[You might be thinking to yourself, hokey smokes what has happened? Did Ms. Bean have a strong opinion tightly held that she foisted upon someone? Was she argumentative?]

My understanding is that it’s a badge of honor to be blocked on Twitter, so I’m taking this development in stride, trying not to be too prideful about it because I’m a pleasant woman, a bit snarky at times, but always genuine.

And grateful.

You see, the blocker wrote a positive tweet about her hometown. I, the blockee, mentioned that I thought the same thing that the blocker did. I concurred by saying *blah blah blah* about how wonderful it was that said hometown had persevered to overcome its challenges, brilliantly.

The blocker came back and pontificated on the state politics involved in the history of her hometown’s past difficulties. The ones I’d praised the hometown for overcoming.

Then I said the words destined to get me blocked. Yes I said, I AGREE WITH YOU and was blocked for it.

[You might be thinking to yourself, what the fork? Have we come to a time when agreement is tossed aside as quickly as disagreement? What gives?]

Thus from this exchange, for which I’m grateful because it gave me blog fodder, I’ve reaffirmed that no act of kindness goes unpunished.

Plus I’ve also experienced something I’ve mused upon for a long time. Let’s call it my audacious truth.

To wit, there is irony in everyone’s life. Case in point, even when I agreed with someone, they used it against me.

I believe this happens because once some people decide they don’t like you [for who knows what reason], no matter what you say, be it sincere, supportive, or logical, your words will make no difference to them. You are wrong and must be ignored.

In other words, audacious truth be damned blocked.