Snarking

Of Salesmanship And Sequestration

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Did you know that at one point in my life I worked as a sales representative for a greeting card company?

That’s right, the woman who would prefer to be at home grooving to her own beat had a job dragging samples and order forms around her three-state territory convincing store owners to buy the products that she represented.

In spite of the job being a lousy fit for my personality and energy level, I was moderately successful at sales.  Early on in my career as a sales rep I figured out a few basic principles that helped me focus on what mattered– that is, getting things done.

Here is what I learned:

  1. Getting buyers to feel comfortable with their decisions requires the insight of a family therapist, the explanatory powers of a college professor & the enthusiasm of a family dog.
  2. No one gets everything that they want.  That is why dealmaking requires negotiation– which requires stepping outside your comfort zone and adapting to each unique situation.
  3. Details make it happen.  Chit-chat and generalities, while pleasant, are pointless when it comes time to sign the contract.
  4. Every person you meet could be your next lead, so be polite and listen actively, at least for a little while, to everyone.
  5. Say “thank you” to the buyer no matter what happens.

###

Why, oh why, am I thinking about this topic today?

Well, it is because as I watch Washington NOT find a way to make reasonable deals about managing national finances, I am taken back to my days when my paycheck was tied to my ability to get things done.  Sell more cards, make more money.

Very simple.

And while I was not always enthusiastic about all the deals that I made when I worked in sales, I did make deals.  Lots of them.  Because I knew that was what was expected of me.  It was part of the job.

Very simple. 

So as a way to help our poor [overpaid] Senators and Representatives learn how to focus on what matters and start making sensible deals that are not tied to unrealistic party lines, I have shared my five principles of salesmanship.

Perhaps if all of these Washington jackweasels would apply my principles to their discussions about the impending sequestration they would be moderately successful at their jobs.  And get some things done that benefit all of us… not just their oversized egos.

Very simple.

Looking For Fun & Feeling Wordy

/ Ally Bean / 13 Comments

•  Please take a moment to peruse the 50 Best Literary Insults.  You never know when you might need one.  CLEVER.

•  I may have found the perfect Weekly To Do List.  It’s pretty & free.  YES!

•  Do you need to figure out what the heck some business wonk is talking about?  Is jargon like Thought Shower | Gently Toggle | Weblication being tossed around the table?  Then check this out.  SNARKY.

•  Have you ever wondered what are the Top 10 Most Read Books in the World?  SURPRISING.

•  In case you were wondering, I give you the 12 Buzzwords You’ll Need to Know in 2013.  INANE.

•  So you say that you’re interested in setting type?  Then KERNTYPE {a kerning game} is just the place for you.  GROOVY.

~ That’s all I got for you today, gentle readers.  Enjoy!

  

Good Morning, Darling

/ Ally Bean / 19 Comments

Zen-Den needed to get up earlier than usual to go to work.  He set his alarm clock, but I didn’t hear it go off.  He heard it and went into the bathroom to shower and shave.  While he was in the shower I woke up.  I often wake up early, so it was no big deal for me to get up.  I went into the bathroom where he was now shaving.  The following conversation ensued.

# # # 

Him:  Was it the noise from the light that woke you up?

Me:  No, it was the light from the water running through the faucet that did it.

Him:  Oh good.  I didn’t want to bother you.

Me:  Hmm…  *smile*

{a minute of silence}

Him:  What did you say?  How did the light from the water running through the faucet wake you up?

Me:  It woke me up because the noise from the light didn’t.  *snicker*

Him:  Oh.

{30 seconds later}

Him:  What are you talking about???

Me:  I’m talking about why I got up.

Him:  What?  Wait a minute… you knew what I meant!

Me:  Yep.  But it’s so much more fun to confuse you early in the morning.

Him:  You make no sense.

Me:  I know.  *giggle*

# # # 

… And who rocks at Mind Games 101?

I do believe that it is Ms. Bean.  

Oh yes, I do.

In Which I Manage To Disappoint By Merely Existing

/ Ally Bean / 24 Comments

I have hit a new low in blogging.

Putting aside the fact that I’ve never written a word about wind chimes until today, I think that it is fair to say that this spammer took a very dim view of one of my blog posts.  I’ve never received such a sad piece of spam before.  Most of my spam is of the “great job” variety, so the unhappiness described in this piece of spam is almost too much for me.

I feel the angst.

But here’s what confuses me: why is this piece of spam telling me about some clunky, un-melodic wind chimes?  I had nothing to do with the wind chimes.  It’s almost as if this piece of spam was written without anyone actually reading what I wrote… as if there is no correlation between my content and the spam comment… as if this spammer doesn’t care about me at all.

Oh dear!  That couldn’t be it, could it?  😉