A Blog Post Confirming That Responsible Adults Do Not Lead Interesting Lives

July 8, 2014July 8, 2014 / Ally Bean / 34 Comments

Nothing to see here. Move along.

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It is Tuesday morning and I am without a single topic or event to share with you, my gentle readers. Usually something happens in my life during the week, something that prompts me to write a story, add some photos, share a few links, ponder a thought.

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But today I am without flapdoodle, images, twaddle or pithiness. ‘Tis a sad day, indeed.

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Instead of something interesting to talk about, my responsible adult life of late has revolved around:

annual doctors’ visits;
watching painters paint the exterior of our house;
car & SUV repairs;
hand-washing dishes in the sink because the dishwasher is leaking;
haircut + skin care;
cleaning out the garage;
a few martinis; and
planning a couple of social events for later this month.

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So let me ask you, my gentle readers: what have you been up to lately? Do tell in the comments below.

Pretentious Much?

June 23, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

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HAVE YOU EVER HEARD yourself say something and think to yourself:

Did I really say that? Honestly, who am I?

Zen-Den and I, with some friends, were at an art show in a park that is along a river. We’ve been to this particular show many times together, and we each have our favorite artists who we want to checkout. It makes for a predictable, leisurely afternoon.

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Z-D AND I WENT into one particular artist’s tent to see what he had going on. For Z-D this guy is the highlight of the show, so he stopped to talk with the man. I looked around but didn’t see anything that I wanted so I went outside to stand with our friends who were waiting.

When Z-D caught up with us he hadn’t bought a thing. He turned to me and said: “what did you think of his stuff this year?” And then I said the most out-of-character statement that I may have ever said. I replied:

“Oh, his work is so derivative now that it’s passé.”

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THERE WAS A PAUSE while all of us looked at each other– and then we started laughing so hard that we had to stop looking at each other because of my absurd statement.

Accurate as it may be, I have no idea where that sentence came from. I’m not exactly an art critic [or a critic of anything, for that matter]. All I can think is that I’ve read too many scholarly articles on Arts & Letters Daily. Might be time for me to focus more on People magazine.

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I’M GOING TO FILE this charming little story, ridiculous as it is, under:

Do Not Take Yourself Too Seriously.

Derivative? Passé? Who says things like that? Not me, usually. That’s for sure.

Desperately Seeking Gladys Kravitz

June 20, 2014June 20, 2014 / Ally Bean / 34 Comments

Late Tuesday afternoon we received an email from the HOA. The message in the email told us that there had been 4 burglaries in the past 10 days in one part of our large subdivision.

Even though the break-ins are miles from where we live, the HOA asked that all residents turn on their outdoor lights at night. This is because the burglaries happened in the middle of night while families were at home, asleep upstairs.

[I’ll wait here while what I just wrote sinks into your brain. At home. Asleep. While having your house burgled. YIKES!]

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First of all let me tell you that we are a cooperative bunch of suburbanites when under attack. To wit, the last few nights our part of the subdivision has been so well-lit that pilots would feel comfortable landing their planes on our streets.

[So that’s a good thing. For us. And for Duke Energy, as well. *sigh*]

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And secondly, while I’m not thrilled with these latest developments, they do underscore the need for everyone who lives around here to be more aware of everyone & everything that goes on around here. That is to say, it’s time for you, my lovely neighbors, to look up from your smart phones and actually interact with your environment.

You know, like we did in the dark ages when phones with cords plugged into walls. And neighbors said “hello” to each other when they met on the street. And burglars knew that somewhere in every neighborhood was a nosy, noisy Gladys Kravitz who saw everything.

[Oddly enough, that’s who we need around here. Her prying eyes would be most helpful right about now, don’t you think?]

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BREAKING NEWS:

It’s 10:00 a.m. Friday morning and we just received this email update from our HOA:

“… we learned that there was another burglary attempt around 3am this morning at XXXX Drive. The police spotted the intruders before they were able to enter the home. The accomplice was caught, but the other burglar was able to get away.”

Now how long until the accomplice turns on the other burglar?

QOTD: What Do You Really Call Your “Honey Do” List?

June 14, 2014May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 12 Comments

We all know what a “Honey Do” List is, right? It’s that wonderful list kept by almost every woman on which she tells her beloved sweetie pie what tasks around the house need to be done next.

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[If you’ve always thought that people were talking about a “Honeydew” List I’m sorry to disabuse of this charming, albeit wrong, idea. We women are not keeping lists about melons. We’re keeping lists about things to do.]

[Image sources here & here.]

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So getting to my point, in our household the “Honey Do” List has been renamed. As we all know Zen-Den gets to the essence of things, and in this case he got it right when he began to refer to what you might call a “Honey Do” List as:

Ally’s List of S#%t That’s Wrong Around Here.