Get Out The Windex, It’s Time To Vote

November 4, 2014November 4, 2014 / Ally Bean / 18 Comments

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During the 18 years that we’ve lived in this area we’ve voted at six different locations:

the smoky VFW Hall;
the cavernous golf course/convention center;
the cheerful Methodist church;
the crowded elementary school;
the difficult to get into and out of community church; and now
the Greek Orthodox church.

Of all the locations, this Greek Orthodox church is the best one because it’s slightly off of a busy street, has lots of parking and the actual voting area is a few steps inside the door. The Greeks do voting well.

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But the thing about this voting location, which has absolutely nothing to do with the voting itself but I’ll tell you about it anyhow, is that Z-D comes from a family with a Greek heritage.

And our well-mannered, kind Mr. Bean can do a wicked, dead-on impression of his Great Uncle, who disapproved of everything and everyone. Great Uncle was not a happy person with a generous soul, unlike his nephew.

So as you can imagine, this impression, which Z-D trots out two times a year, gets me laughing. Every time.

And always leads to one of us quoting a movie that is best known for its references to Windex, but also explains Zen-Den’s family so well. A movie in which I am the WASP to his Greekinicity. A movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding which gives us the following wonderful lines.

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Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don’t eat no meat?

[the entire room stops, in shock]

Aunt Voula: Oh, that’s okay. I make lamb.

Then The Rain Gutter Fell Off The Back Of The House

October 28, 2014October 28, 2014 / Ally Bean / 21 Comments

And Zen-Den* said: “It’s all good.”

And K the House Painter** said: “It’s all good.”

And I*** said: “NOOOOOOO!!!”

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* He’s nuts, of course. But he did manage to get the sales guy from the gutter company to come over to the house; talk with the sales guy as he evaluated the damage caused by the heavy rain & high winds that ripped the gutter off of the house; and sign a contract to have this company replace the fallen gutter.

Good job, Z-D.

** He’s wise, of course. First of all he’s already been to the house to cover the damaged gutter with tarps and received cash for his efforts. Secondly, he’ll be the first person I call after the new gutter is in place because the new gutter & new wood will need to be painted the color of the house.

Once more.

*** I’m ticked, of course. Because for the first time in years the exterior of our house is all the same color. Plus, do you realize how much moolah this will cost us? Hint: a 3-day roundtrip luxury resort getaway to Montego Bay, Jamaica, costs less than this will. Hint: a new Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro with the latest operating system, Yosemite, costs less than this will. So what am I telling you here?

Expensive.

In Which Sergeant Major Pouncey McMouserton Climbs A Tree

October 23, 2014October 23, 2014 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

The other morning I happened to notice that something unusual was going on in the woods behind our house.

I saw that the neighbor’s cat, who I call Sergeant Major Pouncey McMouserton, had climbed up a tree where he seemed to be stuck about 15 feet above ground. [He’s the tiny white dot that you can see in the middle of the photo above. Look closely.]

He was sitting on a branch up in the tree like he was the Cheshire Cat, except that he wasn’t smiling. At all.

Knowing that this was a wonderful blog post in the making, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos to document McMouserton’s process of getting unstuck.

He wasn’t panicky. He wasn’t howling. He wasn’t graceful.

But McMouserton was entertaining to watch as he slipped/tumbled/grabbed/backed down the tree and eventually plopped onto the leafy ground below.

Then with a scowl directed at me, he walked away from his adventure and vanished into the woods behind our house. [He’s that slight white smudge behind the leafy green forest undergrowth that you can see to the left of the almost leafless brown bush. Really, he was there. I swear.]

Pondering A Neighbor’s Nutty Behavior

October 17, 2014November 19, 2015 / Ally Bean / 29 Comments

You know how sometimes when you’re walking along a downtown city street and a person, who is nuttier than a fruitcake soaked in rum, starts shouting nonsensical things at you from the other side of the street?

Well, here’s my suburban equivalent of that city experience.

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Woman on other side of street pointing at passersby as she shouts for no discernible reason.

{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }

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I was sitting outside on our deck, mid-afternoon, reading a catalogue, enjoying the mild October weather.

When BAM-BAM-BAM the neighbor woman who lives behind us on the other side of the wooded ravine started clanking metal objects together. This went on for about a minute.

I was startled, of course, so I looked up from my reading to see what was going on that required this much noise. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

So I went back to reading my catalogue.

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Me outside my house heading toward the deck to enjoy a bit of fresh air.

{ Source: Folger Shakespeare Library Digital Image Collection }

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But that was not the end it. About a minute after she stopped clanking metal objects together she yelled to no one in particular: “Don’t. Feed. The. Birds.”

Then I heard her stomp into her house and slam shut the sliding patio door, leaving me to ponder what the heck she was talking about and who she thought would hear her.

It also made me realize that I needed to thank my lucky stars that the nuttier-than-a-fruitcake suburban neighbor lives way over there on the other side of the ravine.

Far away from me. Forsooth.

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