How Fare Thee? Two Lighthearted Conversations + A Fast Test To Determine Your Stress

LAUGHING

A delightful former neighbor stays in touch. She moved across country and usually emails or texts, but one day she called me to talk.

Like old-timey friends.

In the process of catching up on who we each have stayed in touch with she asked me about, let’s call her, Martha.

While it’s been well over a decade since either heard from her directly, Martha is sometimes in the local news around here.

In fact I was able to explain to former neighbor that Martha, a state government employee, has been accused of failing to disclose a conflict of interest involving a  corporate lobbyist. She has denied the accusations, but resigned from her job.

Upon hearing this my former neighbor shouted, “she didn’t do it.”

I asked, “how do you know?”

“Because there’s no way she’d do anything illegal.” 

I persisted, “it’s been years since we talked with her, how can you be so sure? She may have changed. People do, you know.”

Former neighbor said, “because I sang with her in the church choir and no one in that group would ever do anything wrong.” 

To which I replied sarcastically, “well there you go! As we all know singing your heart out for Jesus is a valid legal defense against criminal accusations.”

As if!  🙄

LOVING

I overheard this.

While this isn’t the first time I’ve written about a kid who got lost in the bottom of the ravine behind our house, this succinct little plea for help charmed me. Girlfriend was NOT happy and knew exactly who was to blame for her predicament.

Here’s what happened. I walked into our kitchen at the back of the house around 5:00 p.m. The windows were open and I immediately heard a LOUD kid voice [maybe age 5 or 6?] shouting from below.

“Find me,” the voice said.

I stepped outside onto the deck to see if I could see who was shouting.

“Find… Me…,” the voice commanded.

Squinting through the leafy tree branches I looked down into the ravine, but couldn’t see anyone. However I could hear a small person whose tone of voice didn’t suggest panic, just increasing irritation with the adult powers that be.

“FIND ME!”

I was about to shout back when I heard a dad say, “Katelyn? Is that you?”

“FIND ME, NOW!” 

Picking up on the irritation in her voice I heard the dad start laughing as he asked, “where are you?”

Then in one of the best deadpan punchline deliveries ever our Miss Katelyn replied stating the obvious, “DOWN. HERE.”  

She sighed loudly implying, I believe, that it took all her effort to not say *DUH* to this dimwitted dad person whose job it is to rescue her from predicaments like this one.

And with that her father, still laughing so loudly I could hear him, maneuvered down the side of the ravine cheerfully saying, “I’ll get ‘ya!”

And he did. 🥰

LEARNING

I stumbled over this Psychology Today How Stressed Are You? Test and decided to answer the 20 questions.

From my test results I learned that I’m at 24/100 and the average is 59/100. This means I’m “Not stressed” which came as a surprise to me. Not that I’m jonesing to be more filled with stress, mind you— just that I thought I’d rate a higher score.

I feel a bit like an underachiever.

However, I attribute my relaxed attitude to the fact that FOR ONCE our annual spring home maintenance that requires 5 scheduled visits from 4 companies has happened WITHOUT INCIDENT. This means that the landscape beds and the lawn sprinkler system and the gutters and the windows and the AC system have been mulched or activated or cleared or cleaned or serviced BEFORE Memorial Day.

A personal best! 😃

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Do you know anyone who is currently in trouble with the law? Is or was that person part of a church choir?

Have you ever called out for someone to rescue you? If so, did someone rescue you?

Had or overheard any funny conversations lately? 

If you took the test how stressed does it say you are? Does this jive with how you feel?

~ ~ • ~ ~

Hello, Friends: Letting The Sunshine Shine + Shifting To A Lighter Blogging Schedule

ABOUT THE SUNSHINE

I haven’t done something like this old-school style blogging prompt in years*. 

So when Vicki nominated me for Kimberly’s “Sunshine Blogger Award” I thought why not do this? I want to join in the fun— so I have.

Here goes.

I. The guidelines from Kimberly about the “Sunshine Blogger Award”:

• Display the award’s official logo somewhere on your blog. [look up]
• Thank the person who nominated you. [THANK YOU Vicki]
• Provide a link to your nominator’s blog. [Victoria Ponders]
• Answer your nominator’s questions. [look down]
• Nominate up to 11 bloggers. [everyone, anyone, no one, IT’S UP TO YOU]
• Ask your nominees 11 questions. [bottom of this section]
• Notify your nominees by commenting on at least one of their blog posts. [let the COMMENT LOVE flow]

II. The questions from Vicki:

What is your morning routine?

I get up 6:30 a.m., drink coffee, gaze at nature, and attempt to engage my brain. I’m like molasses slowly oozing into the day. No loud noises or bright lights please.

What is your favorite season? Why?

Autumn. It’s pretty, the leaves on the trees are glorious colors, and the summer humidity is over so I feel relaxed.

What is your favorite childhood memory?

Riding my tricycle that I got for Christmas, maybe age 4? It was too big for me so my dad put wooden blocks on the pedals so I could use it. I was a speed demon.

Who or what has been your most unlikely teacher?

Phony self-absorbed people have taught me that: 1) I’m friendlier & more emotionally balanced than I ever realized; 2) it’s not always a bad thing to be ignored; and 3) their reactions to me have nothing to do with me.

Who or what are you most proud of?

Librarians. They know things. They know where to find the information. They know how to keep you up-to-date. They know the good stories. They are a valuable resource, now more so than ever.

What is something that surprises people about you?

I like wearing eyeglasses, hence the title of this blog. Don’t be talking smack about spectacles.

What motivated you to start blogging?

Curiosity to see if I could. Free time courtesy of a yearlong recuperation period from emergency surgery.  Orneriness.

What forms of entertainment do you enjoy the most?

I like TV series, often mysteries or sitcoms, which I watch one episode a night. Never binge watch. I also like walking in parks or nature preserves.

If you are a book reader, do you prefer a paper copy or a digital copy?

I read paper books. I want to use a proper bookmark and have a book I can gift to a Little Free Library— of which there are many around here.

What’s your favorite music genre, and who is your favorite singer?

I like contemporary jazz, r&b, soft rock, and classical. Favorite singer? I dunno, not sure I have one.

What societal causes do you care about the most?

Health & Education: food, shelter, water, medicines/vaccinations, safety, public schools, libraries. Any and all things that help a person physically and mentally thrive.

III. My questions for you, my intrepid bloggers:
  • Favorite color?
  • Favorite animal?
  • Favorite mantra?
  • Favorite number?
  • Favorite curse word?
  • Favorite drink?
  • Favorite holiday?
  • Favorite cookie?
  • Favorite movie?
  • Favorite flower?
  • Favor question here?

* In 2012 I answered Polly’s questions for my “Sunshine Award” and am now using some of her questions here.

ABOUT THE BLOGGING SCHEDULE

As the old saying goes: If something works, stick with it.

To those who’ve been around The Spectacled Bean for a few years it’ll come as no surprise when I tell you that as of today I’ll be shifting to my spring/summer posting schedule.

As you may remember, or will learn right now, this simply means I’ll post my flapdoodle and twaddle once every two weeks, usually on a Tuesday or Wednesday, turning this into a fortnightly blog.

I appreciate everyone who reads and comments on this weblog. Y’all are the best, you make blogging fun. In fact without your support, my gentle readers + kind lurkers + wordy commenters, this blog would have crashed and burned a long time ago.

Thank You!

The One About Affirmations & Allergies & Assertiveness, Oh My!

The Affirmation Part

As I’m sure you realize, my little cherry blossoms of joy, there’s a difference between quotes and affirmations.

Quotes are thoughts said by someone. Ideally a quote, when properly sourced, is from an authority— maybe a person like a novelist or poet or songwriter OR from a well-known book or movie or TV show. When examined in their context quotes add depth to your thinking, speaking, writing.

Affirmations on the other hand are sayings that provide generic emotional support or encouragement. They tend to be popular ideas, often reflecting the existential angst of the era in which the affirmation originates. While an affirmation may be motivating for one person, it could just as easily be dismissed as poppycock by another person. 

So keeping the foregoing in mind I share an affirmation that dropped into my sneezy life as I was scrolling along the interwebs. It stopped me long enough for me to muse upon its meaning | wisdom | value.

And how it could be a reflection of the times in which we live. The need to feel some control over something is powerful in the best of times and doubly so in our socially-mediated times. Maybe more so than in the past.

N’est-ce pas?

The Allergy Part

Without a second thought I can tell you the 3 months I like the best: October [at the top] – May – January. Then there are six other months I’m indifferent to, followed by the 3 months I dislike the most: February – August – April [at the bottom].

I apologize to people with April birthdays and wedding anniversaries, but for me April is a lousy month. This is because of ALLERGIES.

You see, I suffer from what the allergy doctors refer to as Rose Fever, the springtime equivalent to late summer’s Hay Fever [which I also suffer from].  While Hay Fever makes me tired, Rose Fever makes me irritable & leaves me feeling churlish.

It aggravates me in ways that fuel my natural penchant for being snarky, which I admit may work to my benefit. People tell me it’s my sassiness that draws them to this blog.

Thus this is where I find myself today, a woman muttering about her drippy nose, eyes that won’t focus, itchy skin, a mild never-ending headache, and the ability to sneeze loudly enough to startle Z-D when I’m downstairs and he’s upstairs on the other side of the house.

True story, really happened!

The Assertiveness Part

While researching something unrelated to that which follows I stumbled over another interesting online test that I had to take. I have a thing for them and from what I can tell so do my bloggy friends.

I realize I’ve been known to say that I believe life is one big ole test with a few pop quizzes along the way. I was being figurative but maybe for me it’s a literal thing.

Anyhoo I took the simple + fast Psychology Today’s Assertiveness Test that helps you determine how confident | bold | decisive you are.

From my results I learned that on a scale of 0 to 100 I rate 73. This puts me in the Somewhat Assertive range which means I’m an “effective communicator” who respects other people.

It also confirmed that I know that my “thoughts and feelings have value.”

Since becoming an adult I doubt there has rarely been a time when I didn’t know that my thoughts and feelings had value, but it’s good to have outside confirmation.

I guess…

Questions of the Day

Keeping your destiny in mind what have you created lately?

What is your favorite month of the year? What is your least favorite month of the year? What are your reasons for your choices?

Do you have seasonal allergies? If not, how’d you get so lucky?

If you took the test, what is your assertiveness score? Does it seem accurate to you?

~ ~ 🩷 ~ ~

Welcome: A Few Meandering Thoughts About Being Gladly Received

I take my blog prompts where I find them…

Years ago I remember reading an article about how to connect with people, online and in real life. The gist of the article was about ways to make sure you’ll be gladly received, appreciated even by the people you meet.

In retrospect I realize that the article touched on ideas you might find in Norman Vincent Peale’s ‘The Power of Positive Thinking’ but that’s not what the article was about. It was a modern take.

According to the article the formula for being included was simple. Initially you establish yourself as memorable, then you apply yourself to being likable. A leads to B, familiarity with your uniqueness leads to people feeling comfortable around you. Then as long as you are consistent, you will be welcomed.

I’ve never definitively decided what I think about this advice, however it’s stuck with me— maybe to be shared and discussed in this very moment.

🔹 Playing the part of devil’s advocate here, first off it seems to me that being memorable can be a slippery slope. It’s great if you’re remembered for doing something ostensibly positive, but how many times do you remember someone because of the less positive thing that they did?

[QUICK: elementary school – who threw up in class? high school – who was stoned more often than not? college – who got caught cheating on an exam?]*

🔹 Then of course there’s also the issue of the definition of likable. Without using a dictionary, mine would be something along the lines of:

  • friendly, warm, non-judgmental
  • assertive but not aggressive
  • truthfulness wrapped in kindness

How would you define a likable person? Are you one? Is this something you aim to be?

🔹 And as for consistent, something I think of as being conscientious, but of course could also mean consistently not being conscientious, I’d suggest that most people don’t pay close enough attention to what other people do to really notice if someone is consistent.

Thus I will conclude by saying that the foregoing, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, is nothing more than my addled brain’s meanderings, unfiltered and with no hidden agenda, after seeing the word WELCOME on a wooden container holding a few tulip bulbs.

This is what I thought about.

Any remarks, regrets, reconsiderations you’d like to add?

* In fourth grade – Janie who was shy and scared to stand up in front of the class, threw up in front of the class while giving her report on how to play her flute. Vomit went everywhere, including inside her flute. She didn’t return to class for a few days.

In high school – Doug who was a kid who lived down the street from me on the swankier end of the street, had a ready supply of weed. He enhanced his social standing by putting vodka dyed dark green into an empty Chloraseptic sore throat spray bottle that he carried around, happy to spray some into your mouth.

In college – Susan who was smart but lived in fear of not being perfect, was caught sneaking around in the library cheating on a take home honor system exam. She cried her way into being allowed to take it a second time. She got an A+ of course.