Like A Memorable Episode of M*A*S*H, I’m Bugging Out Until 2015

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Remember that M*A*S*H episode in which the 4077th bugs out?  And each character’s true nuttiness is revealed by what they hold dear as the camp is forced to move elsewhere?

Of course you do.  It’s a classic.

Well, gentle readers, looking at my schedule and commitments for the next 2 months I’ve come to realize that I’m going to be on the verge of quiet hysteria busy with decorating & dinners & shopping & parties & travel & events & gifts.

Too busy.  For an introvert like me.  [Please refer to the chart.]

Considering that I keep this blog just for the heck of it, I’ve decided to take a blogging break.  To wit, I’m going to bug out and pretend to be a holiday-obsessed, Christmas-music-loving, party girl who adores all the glitz, booze and calories associated with this time of year remain calm-ish.

Happy Happy Joy Joy, everyone.  I’ll see you next year.

I’m Not Obsessed With Logic But…

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I’ve no doubt that some people have wondered the above about me.  [For the record, I tie my shoelaces all by myself.]  We all have our moments, don’t we?  

Uh huh.

So it is with the foregoing in mind that I tell you the gist of a conversation that I had with a casual acquaintance.  It’s a conversation that didn’t make sense to me, but then I was having one of my logical days while my casual acquaintance wasn’t. 

Oh well.

~ ~ • ~ ~

ACQUAINTANCE:  Congrats on your success.  I see that you’ve accomplished something.

MOI:  Thank you.

ACQUAINTANCE:  Did you do something different this time that contributed to your success?

MOI:  Yes.  {I explain how I did what I did.}

ACQUAINTANCE:  {Acquaintance asks 2 or 3 clarifying questions.}  Wow, so you did something entirely new?

MOI:  Yes I did.

ACQUAINTANCE:  WELL THAT WON’T WORK.  YOU CAN’T DO IT THAT WAY.  YOU’LL FAIL.

MOI:  Huh?!  But you just said…

ACQUAINTANCE:  {Lots of explanation about how what I did will never work and how wrong I was to even try.}

MOI:  Well, thanks for telling me this.

ACQUAINTANCE:  Oh sure.  Just trying to help.

MOI:  Uh huh.

~ The End ~

[Source for the above image is anyone’s guess.  I found it on FB.  I’ve seen it on Pinterest, stumbled over it on many blogs, but have been unable to find its original source.]

Get Out The Windex, It’s Time To Vote

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{ Source: WordPress.com News }

~ • ~

During the 18 years that we’ve lived in this area we’ve voted at six different locations:

  • the smoky VFW Hall;
  • the cavernous golf course/convention center;
  • the cheerful Methodist church;
  • the crowded elementary school;
  • the difficult to get into and out of community church;  and now
  • the Greek Orthodox church.

Of all the locations, this Greek Orthodox church is the best one because it’s slightly off of a busy street, has lots of parking and the actual voting area is a few steps inside the door.  The Greeks do voting well.

~ • ~

But the thing about this voting location, which has absolutely nothing to do with the voting itself but I’ll tell you about it anyhow, is that Z-D comes from a family with a Greek heritage.

And our well-mannered, kind Mr. Bean can do a wicked, dead-on impression of his Great Uncle, who disapproved of everything and everyone.  Great Uncle was not a happy person with a generous soul, unlike his nephew.

So as you can imagine, this impression, which Z-D trots out two times a year, gets me laughing.  Every time.

And always leads to one of us quoting a movie that is best known for its references to Windex, but also explains Zen-Den’s family so well. A movie in which I am the WASP to his Greekinicity. A movie called My Big Fat Greek Wedding which gives us the following wonderful lines.

~ • ~

Aunt Voula: What do you mean he don’t eat no meat?

[the entire room stops, in shock]

Aunt Voula: Oh, that’s okay. I make lamb.

In Which We Learn Whether Or Not I Can Upload A Photo & Then Write About It

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Let’s pretend that my last post didn’t happen.  Okay?

Which is to say that if you’ve arrived here expecting to see a post about me having lunch, I deleted it.  The post, not lunch.

I didn’t delete the post because I said anything bad, but because the photos, which made the post interesting, looked hazy.  Not pretty.

In fact, when I uploaded them yesterday the WP system wouldn’t let me upload them in the normal way.  I had to revert to an older way of uploading photos to get them here.

And once here, not so clear.

So now, today, this very morning, I decided to upload a test photo to see how the WP system is working today and to see how my photo looked.

And wouldn’t you know it, today’s photo, of two of my mother’s old recipe booklets that I keep in one of my desk drawers, is the epitome of clarity.  And coconut.

Thus proving that I’m tenacious, I can upload photos, I can write a post of the fly, and that I’ve kept some rather unique items that belonged to my mother.

For no discernible reason. Which seems to be the theme of this post.

Then The Rain Gutter Fell Off The Back Of The House

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And Zen-Den* said: “It’s all good.”

And K the House Painter** said: “It’s all good.”

And I*** said: “NOOOOOOO!!!”

• • •

* He’s nuts, of course.  But he did manage to get the sales guy from the gutter company to come over to the house;  talk with the sales guy as he evaluated the damage caused by the heavy rain & high winds that ripped the gutter off of the house;  and sign a contract to have this company replace the fallen gutter.

Good job, Z-D.

**  He’s wise, of course.  First of all he’s already been to the house to cover the damaged gutter with tarps and received cash for his efforts.  Secondly, he’ll be the first person I call after the new gutter is in place because the new gutter & new wood will need to be painted the color of the house.

Once more.

***  I’m ticked, of course.  Because for the first time in years the exterior of our house is all the same color.  Plus, do you realize how much moolah this will cost us?  Hint: a 3-day roundtrip luxury resort getaway to Montego Bay, Jamaica, costs less than this will.  Hint: a new Apple 13-inch MacBook Pro with the latest operating system, Yosemite, costs less than this will.  So what am I telling you here?

Expensive.

Reviewing The News, Reaching For The Wine

“I am satisfied.  Give me a bowl of wine:

I have not that alacrity of spirit,

Nor cheer of mind, that I was wont to have–

So, set it down.– Is ink and paper ready?”

~ William Shakespeare, King Richard III

• • •

USUALLY I’M GOOD AT knowing what I’m thinking and feeling about things.  Clarity of thought.  Sense of purpose.  Focus on what matters now.

Me.  Most of the time.

But the news of these last few weeks has worn me down.  Made me wonder about humanity.  Made me want to stay in my jammies all day, hiding in the back of the closet, playing Candy Crush.

• • •

First we talked about:

Ebola, and the CDCTexas Health Presbyterian Hospital Dallas‘s half-assed handling of said at a time when everyone in the USA needed them to do things properly.

Then we were inundated with: 

Mitch McConnell [or Old Turkey Neck as he’s known in this house], and his daily TV political attack ads against his opponent, a woman with a gun who seems to scare the bejesus out of him.

Followed by:

Gamergate, and the blatant misogynistic attacks on woman associated with it under the guise of fair journalistic practices.

Then all of this took center stage:

Renee Zellweger, and the incessant opining about the reasons why she did what she did + about the results of what she did.

Culminating in:

The Parliament of Canada, and the unforeseen attack on it leading to the world’s newest isn’t-he-amazing hero who saved lives by calmly doing what needed to be done.

• • •

SO MY POINT HERE?  After hearing and reading about all the above, I’m tired, emotionally.  I’m tired, physically.

I’m just plain tired.

I have to wonder if keeping up with the news is what I need to be doing with my time.  While the well-educated rational side of me says “stay informed,” the sensitive empathetic side of me says “ignore.”  The cognitive dissonance is beginning to get to me.

Leading me to contemplate how I can do both when the agenda-setting function of the media gives me bad news everywhere that I turn.  Except in my closet, of course.  Where you may just find me, with my bowl of wine.

Waiting for my alacrity of spirit to return.

In Which Sergeant Major Pouncey McMouserton Climbs A Tree

The other morning I happened to notice that something unusual was going on in the woods behind our house.

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I saw that the neighbor’s cat, who I call Sergeant Major Pouncey McMouserton, had climbed up a tree where he seemed to be stuck about 15 feet above ground.  [He’s the tiny white dot that you can see in the middle of the photo above.  Look closely.]

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He was sitting on a branch up in the tree like he was the Cheshire Cat, except that he wasn’t smiling.  At all.

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Knowing that this was a wonderful blog post in the making, I grabbed my camera and snapped a few photos to document McMouserton’s process of getting unstuck.

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He wasn’t panicky.  He wasn’t howling.  He wasn’t graceful.

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But McMouserton was entertaining to watch as he slipped/tumbled/grabbed/backed down the tree and eventually plopped onto the leafy ground below.

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Then with a scowl directed at me, he walked away from his adventure and vanished into the woods behind our house.  [He’s that slight white smudge behind the leafy green forest undergrowth that you can see to the left of the almost leafless brown bush.  Really, he was there.  I swear.]

Tales of a Free Spirit in Suburbia