Confirming Your Worst Fear About FB


The stock market certainly didn’t take kindly to Facebook.  I’m not entirely surprised.  In fact, I’m rather pleased to see that enough people in this world are aware enough to not waste their money on a company that uses other people’s information somehow to make money.

That being said I’ve spent a good part of the last couple days reading about/listening to friends & acquaintances talk about leaving FB now that we’re all learning more about FB’s business model.  And because I’ve left Facebook not once, but three times, I have become a voice on this topic.

Just call me a Facebook Rejection Early Adopter.

[FYI- I joined FB first in 2006.  I lasted a few weeks, decided there was nothing there & left– as did all my friends at the time.  Next, I joined FB again in 2009 because two friends, who I later realized were very lonely people, prodded me into trying it again.  I lasted 6 months before I decided that FB was too much of a time suck for me.  So I deleted my account again.  Again, I joined Facebook in 2011 when I decided to create a FB account for this blog.  I maintained the account for about 5 months, but realized that I was dividing my time between something of value (writing on the blog) & something of marginal value (interacting via FB).  Seeing the writing on the wall {pun intended} I closed that account.]

So here is the one thing that I really want to say today.  It is the one question that everyone I know who is still on Facebook wants answered.  It is, I believe, the real reason disgruntled Facebookians hesitate about deleting their accounts– because they know deep down they are not going to like the answer.   Which is…

Yes, once you leave Facebook you will find out for certain who is your real friend and who isn’t.  There will be no doubt about this because the real friends will stay in touch with you via non-FB ways while you will never hear from the faux friends again.

And some of the people who turn out to be faux friends will shock you.  Leaving you by yourself to wonder how you ever could have been fooled by them to begin with.

It’s not a pretty thing to find out– but as they say, the truth will set you free.  And free I am out here in the world detached from FB.

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Ally Bean

Observant. Humorous. Adaptable. Charmingly cynical. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted by choice. Fond of words.

10 thoughts on “Confirming Your Worst Fear About FB”

  1. Actually, FB is just convenient. I don’t have 800 followers and I don’t spend much time there, but a handful of very real friends are also very non-tech and it’s easy for them. Most of the evil of FB comes from non-savvy users. My rules? Use adblock. For dog’s sake, use adblock. Don’t approve 1000 apps. You are just giving your information away. Use your privacy settings. Everything should be set as friends only. And remember that nothing you put online is really private so don’t put anything out there you don’t want shared.


    1. Interesting. I found FB to be inconvenient + limiting. I can compose & send an email faster than I could fiddle around within the FB system. And my email can be any length that I need it to be.

      I love your rules. I certainly followed them, but I’m not sure that most people understand them. It’s not as private [& sincere] as people seem to think that it is.


      1. Agreed. Far too many of my non-tech friends just don’t get the privacy settings, I can’t get anyone to read Sophos for security issues, and I wish I could tag and block all the crap posts. I find it interesting that, among my friends, they’re more capable of updating their fb wall than sending an email. These are smart ladies, too. Just…. completely non-tech. If it weren’t for these 5-6 friends, I’d delete FB too.


        1. It really is the privacy issues that bothers me the most. I find that my friends are just the opposite of yours. Send an email and I get an almost instantaneous response, but when I put the same thing on my FB wall no one interacted.


  2. I don’t do the games or the apps, but I do like being able to stay in touch with faraway friends without having to compose e-mails. As the saying goes, it is what it is. It is a time suck though!


    1. Margaret, you’ve always had a good attitude about the limits of FB. And because of it you’re not disgruntled. I really don’t care if someone is on FB or not… but if it makes you unhappy then leave it.

      To me the real question in all of this is: what’s stopping you? And I sense that for many ppl the answer is: I don’t want to know who isn’t sincerely my friend.


  3. Very good post. I want to quit it, but I have several pages that I am admin for for my job, so. . .i can always just do that part. Ugh.


    1. Cheri, if it’s part of your work then staying on FB is a given. I see your problem, though… if you don’t like it & are stuck with it, going there must be annoying for you. Sorry about that.


  4. I agree with Zazzy and Margaret, facebook is OK as long as you stay away from the apps, don’t click on any of the advertising, and limit it to friends only.


    1. la p, from what I can tell people don’t limit FB to friends only– and then they’re not happy with it. Common sense would say: if you don’t like it, then leave. I left FB and my life is just peachy without it– and the faux friends it brought into my life.


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