The One About The Friend, The Dog & The Suburban Grocery Store Salad Bar

Funny story.  File this one under: “Things We Do For Our Pets.” 

A former suburbanite, who has moved to a condo in a high-rise in the city, still works out this way, near where she used to live.  Having shopped in a large, suburban grocery store for years, she cannot tolerate the smaller, more citified ones near her current home.  So she continues to shop, either before work or at lunchtime, in her former suburban grocery store.

This woman, who we’ll call Wendy, has an old dog who she adores.  And this dog has taken, sort of, to city living.  Which is to say that when there are proper treats involved the old dog will do what is asked of him.

It follows, of course, that Wendy is conscientious about having a large supply of proper treats on hand.  And because Wendy now shops on the fly, she likes to get as many treats for her money as she can at one time.  Easier, you know. 

# # #

So, here’s what happened.  Wendy’s old dog likes one treat in particular and that one treat is bacon bits.

Wendy, who used to make bacon once a week for her dog, doesn’t like to make bacon in her new smaller condo because it smells up the place.  So Wendy has hit upon a solution.  This solution is to go to the salad bar in the grocery store and fill up one of those square clear plastic containers with the bacon bits that are on the salad bar.

It is less expensive by the pound to do this than to buy a package of raw bacon.  And it is more efficient, from Wendy’s point of view, because she doesn’t have to cook the bacon.  Plus her old dog loves these salad bar bacon bits.

# # #

Win. Win. Win.  That is until the day that Wendy ran into her suburban grocery store and discovered that the store had removed all the bacon bits from the salad bar.  

When Wendy inquired why the bacon bits were gone, an employee told her that some crazy lady kept coming in and buying a day’s worth of bacon bits all at once.  And that the manager in charge of the salad bar couldn’t afford to keep the bacon bits stocked, so the manager decided to take away all. the. bacon. bits. 

This sad turn of events, caused by Wendy herself, has left her bacon bit-less… somewhat ashamed of her behavior… and now shopping at the next nearest suburban grocery store to her place of work.

Because an old dog has gotta have his treats, ‘ya know?   ๐Ÿ˜‰

14 thoughts on “The One About The Friend, The Dog & The Suburban Grocery Store Salad Bar

    • philmouse, Wendy had me in stitches when she confessed to what she’d been up to. So if you find that there are no bacon bits on your grocery store salad bar, you’ll know why!


      • The good news is that the guy who told her the story didn’t recognize her so she could go in to shop. She just can’t get bacon bits there. There is nothing wrong with being a crazy lady.


        • Kate, that’s exactly what she said! She felt lucky that she hadn’t been noticed as the culprit. I’ll have to ask her if she’s taken the precautionary move of wearing dark glasses while she’s in that store now.


  1. Um, why not just buy the already cooked bacon in packages? It’s been so long since I’ve seen a grocery story salad bar that I’m not sure what the price difference would be but … oh dear. I guess I would be the shopper who gets annoyed at the crazy lady. It’s a funny story and I’ll just take my overly rational self off now.


    • Zazzy, I don’t know the answer to your question. Maybe the pre-cooked packaged bacon is more expensive than the salad bar? All I know is this is one of those off-the-wall stories that people love to tell me.


  2. Thanks for the laugh today…I needed it! We do anything for our four legged friends, especially when they get older. They give us so much more in return. What is your friend doing now for bacon bits? I bet her old friend misses his daily treat of bits!!


    • Beth, I know. I worry about how her old dog is getting along, but I suspect that Wendy has figured out a way to keep him in bacon bits. He’s persistent, she’s clever.


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