The One About An Empathetic Chatbot, A Crazy Quilt Garden, & An August Blogging Break

/ Ally Bean
A REMINDER THAT COMMUNICATION CAN BE TRICKY

Thanks to Marie I learned about a TV series called Astrid. It’s a drama about a woman [Astrid] with Asperger’s syndrome who works for the police in their library. She loves puzzles, remembers everything, and helps the police solve crimes.

The series does a good job of presenting Astrid and all her quirks in a thoughtful way. She’s socially awkward but not mean-spirited. She is neurodivergent, not always catching onto the subtext of conversations or situations.

Social cues escape her, strict habits keep her sane.

It’s fascinating to watch her and has made me more aware of the communication divide between neurotypes.

To wit, the other day I came across an article in Reuters, ‘It’s the most empathetic voice in my life’: How AI is transforming the lives of neurodivergent people. The gist of the article is that AI-powered chatbots, such as NeuroTranslator, can help neurodivergent people communicate more clearly, reducing misunderstandings.

All one has to do is ask AI about your quandary, then it’ll explain what’s happening from a neurotypical point of view.

Below is a screenshot of a conversation in which Micheal who is neurodivergent asks AI to help him understand why his wife, Jennifer who is neurotypical, took offense at his comment about her shirt. The chatbot tells him that “Neurotypicals often expect more positive feedback…” than his direct comment, thus she was peeved.

Welp, here’s the thing: With all due respect to the chatbot, I don’t see anything wrong with what Micheal said to Jennifer.

So does this mean I’m neurodivergent and don’t know it? I could envision me saying something like what Micheal said, direct & to the point. No harm, no foul.

Or thinking about it in a different way, I wonder about Jennifer’s state of mind. She seems a little neurotic to me, maybe insecure.

Granted I don’t take much of anything personally and I know to consider the source, but if Micheal told me his honest assessment of my shirt, unlike Jennifer I’d have smiled and said “thanks.”

No big deal.

~ • ~
A LOOK AT MY CRAZY QUILT GARDEN, A WORK IN PROGRESS

I’m calling my latest attempt at creating a butterfly garden as a Crazy Quilt Garden.

Crazy quilts were popular in the late 1800s. Victorian women created them using a patchwork of irregularly-shaped fabric piece sewn together then embellished with embroidery, ribbon, beads, and lace. The resulting quilts were idiosyncratic works of art with no repeating motifs like you see in Amish quilts.

Because I  wasn’t happy with our rigidly organized flower garden with its repeating motifs, last fall I pulled out most of the perennials with the intention of creating a less organized ‘country-style’ garden for the butterflies and bees. I wanted a purposely mixed-up garden like a crazy quilt.

I left the roses, salvia, Russian sage, and milkweed because they were/are thriving and make a good backbone for this little area. Then this past spring I planted some new perennials [bee balm, daisies, Pentas, and rudbeckia] plus a few herbs [basil, thyme, mint, dill, and rosemary] that I knew were popular with butterflies and bees.

I also tossed in some marigolds, an annual, to add dots of color. Plus scattered some zinnia seeds for fun. So far everything has grown [except the dill] and is looking a little wild and raggedy like I’d hoped it would. But there’ve been no butterflies only bees which is good, but not cool like having butterflies around.

Still I am hopeful.

~ • ~
A PLAN TO NOT BE HERE IN AUGUST

If you’ve followed The Spectacled Bean for a while you know that I often take a blogging break in August. I don’t like August. The heat & humidity + the pollen makes me itchy, twitchy, and bitchy.

While I admit that being bitchy can be a great catalyst for interesting blog posts, the itchy and twitchy part requires that I get cozy with the girls— Pat, Vertie, and Flo. I’m talking about Pataday eye drops, Alavert antihistamine pills, and Flonase nasal spray.

Meds for seasonal allergies, ‘ya know.

And the thing is that the girls make me tired so that writing seems like a chore instead of a joy. And I won’t let blogging become a chore. That would never do.

Soooo I’m ducking out of blogland for the month of August. I hope to return in September after allergy season is history for me.

Later, kids!

~ • ~
QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Are you fascinated by the ways in which people communicate? Are you aware of anyone in your life who is neurodivergent?

Do you have a flower garden? And if so, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow? Do you have butterflies and bees?

Does anyone have fun plans for August? Just because I dislike the month doesn’t mean I expect anyone else to feel the same way. 

~ ~ • ~ ~

230 thoughts on “The One About An Empathetic Chatbot, A Crazy Quilt Garden, & An August Blogging Break”

  1. My niece was just identified as being in the spectrum. I would hazard a guess that many people I know are neurodivergent but without formal diagnosis. I do not have a flower garden but wish I did. As for August we are going to visit my mother in law in Florida, have my goddaughters bridal shower, my friend from Australia will be in town, my besties mother’s memorial and then a weekend where my husband and daughter are both away and I’m going to read all weekend

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  2. I loved July and August as a kid. August was warm, so lots of ice cream. The fruit on the trees was ripe and there was back-to-school shopping which was fun because it was all for me! I still enjoy except for the super hot days which I don’t remember as a child. Did we have them back then? Enjoy your month off. I may visit with Pat myself. It works well for me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kate, I lived farther north as a child so our summers weren’t this hot and sticky like the ones here now. I like ice cream well enough, so if nothing else August gives me permission to eat it. Sometimes for dinner even. Pat is a good friend. Say “hi” to her from me.

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  3. Hi Ally, I agree with your take on Jennifer’s shirt and Michael’s comment. I think it’s the chatbot that’s neurodivergent and Jennifer would complain about a free lunch. While I agree completely that there are vastly different communication styles that may or may not be affected by neurodivergence or culture, language or whether you’ve had a good sleep, I think it can be also analyzed to the point where a communication problem is created as in the example you give here.

    I tried to have a flower garden but now have a deck with flower pots. I love flower gardens but never really had the time to make a good one and now I putter with my pots. Or maybe I’m just potty over puttering. 😉

    Despite the allergies, I hope you have a good August with little to no nasal dripping, twitching or bitching. We plan to hunker down during the heat of the day and enjoy the beach in the evenings. See you in September. Cheers.

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  4. Having a neurodivergent child (and not knowing that fact until she became an adult) has been eye-opening. Being aware of how she reads others and functions in the world I hope has made me more aware to pause and consider the myriad of ways other people do their own “human thing”. It is often more than bothersome to me when others see neurodivergence as a malady or something to be fixed, or even worse cannot simply let the person live as they are but need to consistently find excuses…

    The new garden is wonderful AB! I had planned to put in a pollinator garden then this idea of moving took hold and so I shared all the seeds with a fellow blogger who was creating his own wildflower garden. I like that my seeds are living on (I hope) in any garden even if it’s not my own 🙂

    August fun plans??? Hmm- is packing up your household, shoving it in a metal box for transport and then driving over plains/mountains/more plains to a new home fun?? So far things fall in the interesting/mostly easy arena. Not sure I can go quite as far as fun. The fun will come when I pull into the driveway of my new home I think.

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    • Deb, interesting about your neurodivergent child. The TV series does a wonderful job of letting you observe how Astrid processes communication and does so in a way that doesn’t diminish her contributions in her job.

      I like your way of saying consider the myriad of ways other people do their own “human thing” because that’s the bottom line of it. I’m not one to want to fix people but I’m sure many people do see neurodivergence as fixable.

      How sweet that your seeds are living on elsewhere. That’s what growing flowers should be all about.

      I take your point about what your fun will be in August. How many days now until you do the final packing and start driving? You are on an adventure without a doubt.

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      • I’ve learned that there are marked sex differences with neurodivergence as well. Many researchers are finally focusing on the concept that males do not make up the majority of neurodivergent individuals. Females compensate often with techniques like camouflaging or “masking” because the social need to fit in is often more pronounced than it is in males…there’s a lot of misconception in all aspects when it comes to the autism spectrum.

        We load the container in just under 2 weeks and I leave a few days after that 🙂

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        • Fascinating. I know that up until I started watching Astrid I thought autism was primarily in males. However I now realize it is part of how many females communicate, too. I’ve started thinking back on some ‘odd’ conversations I’ve had over the years and now wonder if autism played a part in them misunderstanding me— or to be fair, me not speaking to them in a way they could appreciate. Truly it’s a miracle we are able to converse with anyone. 😉

          I’m glad your move is on track. Safe travels and tender mercies!

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  5. There is an English language version of ‘Astrid’ called ‘Patience’ which airs on PBS – same exact stories, pretty much. I liked the actors in Patience more than the ones in Astrid…but if you’ve seen ‘Astrid’ no point in watching ‘Patience’.

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    • Grace, thanks for the heads up. I only know about Astrid because of Marie, never thought to look for an English language version. If I get tired of reading the French subtitles on Astrid, I’ll look for Patience— although I adore the glimpses into Parisian life so I’m kind of hooked.

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  6. Like you, I don’t see anything wrong with what Micheal said to Jennifer. BUT . . . I think that the chatbot’s explanation is probably correct. Jennifer took his “neutral” comment as a negative reaction because he didn’t express it as a direct compliment.

    Her reaction could be due to being sensitive about her new shirt, or b/c she’s tired of not getting direct compliments from her husband, or b/c she was “itchy, bitchy, and twitchy” due to seasonal allergies.” 😀

    Or maybe she was short on caffeine or sleep or . . . whatever.

    Like you, I could envision me saying something like what Micheal said, direct & to the point. No harm, no foul. BUT . . . many people that you and I interact with are not quite so “with it” as we be. As a result, sometimes I/we unintentionally ruffle feathers.

    So be it.

    I’m not about to chat with AI in order to better tailor my each and every comment to accommodate the sensitivities and preferences of others. 😀

    BTW: Your garden is . . . unique. What is wrong with the butterflies? Do they think they are better than the birds and bees frequenting it? They need to get off their pedestals and mingle with the hoi polloi!

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    • Nancy, I like your insights about the aspects of this conversation between Micheal and Jennifer— and how the chatbot framed it. You nailed it with your conclusion: As a result, sometimes I/we unintentionally ruffle feathers.

      I know I do on occasion but I also know that some people are primed to misunderstand you on purpose, it feeds into their angsty world view. Maybe Jennifer is just overly touchy? Like you I’ve no desire to use a chatbot to temper my communication which I think is fine as it is. Take me as you find me.

      Laughing out loud about how you see our butterflies. Perhaps they are little snobs refusing to join in with the hoi polloi? I’d not thought of that, but now that you mention it… 🤔

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      • YES! Some people go that extra mile to take offense when NONE is intended. I see that as an error in their judgment NOT in my communication skills! 😀

        On a related note, I am having great fun chatting with my 4 year great nephew who is at the point where he can recognize sarcasm . . . and GRiN!

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        • You are right. It is an error in their judgment and not how I say things. They want to have problems so they find them with what I say— even when I’m agreeing with them or encouraging them. Tedious people.

          A 4 y.o. who gets sarcasm would be fun, fun, fun to talk with. Enjoy his grins! 😁

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  7. Sympathies in advance doe your allergies. I’m a big fan of prescription nasal spray dymista, if you ever want to try anything new. I love your new little pollinator garden; I’m working on turning my butterfly garden more native, even though the non-native tropical milkweed is a huge hit with the monarch butterflies. I hope you see some butterflies soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Autumn, I’m not familiar with dymista, but will keep it filed away in the back of my mind should Flo stop working for me. Thanks for mentioning it.

      I’m thinking that this is only the first summer for my crazy quilt garden so as the perennials get larger and as I figure out which herbs to put where, my garden will eventually, maybe next year, attract butterflies.

      Or maybe I need to put a large sign out that says: BUTTERFLIES WELCOME. Perhaps they need a proper invitation. 😜

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  8. My sympathies re: your seasonal allergies. Rick got his usual steroid shot this year, and he’s still got weepy eyes. The tree pollen has been really, really bad this year. (Don’t lets talk about the weather AT ALL.)

    If Rick commented to me that I was wearing a Unique top, I’d immediately be on the defensive. That word choice would sound careful to me. I mean, consider its synonyms–none of them means attractive or pretty or becoming.

    I think your garden is lovely. Even though it’s not attracting butterflies, it’s a haven for bees, and that’s so helpful!

    Enjoy–as much as you can–your August break. I hope you do something that makes you very happy and relaxed.

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    • nance, the tree pollen started earlier this year here. The information about it shows it is at medium levels but with so many days in a row of it, I’m a sneezy mess.

      No kidding? I wouldn’t think a thing about my husband telling me my shirt was unique. I’d just shrug and go placidly on my way. HOWEVER your reaction to the comment is exactly what the chatbot was describing and helping Micheal understand. I do wonder sometimes how any of us manage to talk with anyone!

      The bees in the garden are happy. I’m happy for them and only slightly sad that the butterflies haven’t found it… yet. I’ve been thinking about what relaxing, non-itchy, things I’d like to do. So far, staying inside in the AC seems to be my main goal for August.

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  9. Where can I find Astrid? Sounds like a show I’d love. Yes, I do have at least one person in my family as well as friends. As a long time teacher those kids, even at the level I taught, ages 3-5, all the way up, are so easy to see now, and I wish I had known this when I was in school, I would have not been so quick to judge others. These are some of my favorite people for sure. Enjoy your August and I agree that blogging should be fun and not work)

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    • Beth, Astrid is from PBS and available on Prime. Click on the link to get to the PBS description of it.

      I realize now that a few people I’ve known along the way were probably neurodivergent, but that wasn’t a way to understand them so I was more judgy than I should have been. Now I’m a more mellow person overall so communicating with a neurodivergent person wouldn’t phase me. The TV series had been enlightening and showed me a better way to be.

      Yep, if blogging isn’t fun, I’m not doing it. I don’t mind working hard on writing, but only if my brain isn’t tired from OTC allergy meds.

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  10. I didn’t find Michael’s comment to be at all offensive, but perhaps there was something in the way he said it that raised Jennifer’s hackles. Still, you’d think that she’d give him some grace, knowing that he’s neurodivergent. Perhaps she’s not entirely neurotypical–I suspect many of us lean toward undiagnosed divergency.
    Your garden is lovely, a great place to spend August with Pat, Vertie, and Flo. Ours is not nearly as appealing. My big concern this year is that the four big planters filled with bee balm should be swarming with happy, fat bees, but we only have a few of the chubby little bumblers. I’m hoping this isn’t a harbinger of serious declines in the bee population. Perhaps our neighbors’ gardens are more enticing this year. At least the hummingbirds appreciate the bee balm.
    Augusts in Seattle are pretty mild, so I’m hoping to enjoy our back yard, read many good books, and nurse my husband through a surgery scheduled for early in the month. Nothing too serious, but it’s hard to keep him down.
    Enjoy your time away, Ally. I’m already looking forward to hearing about it in September.

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    • Donna, you’re onto something with your “undiagnosed divergency” idea. I’m beginning to lean into that idea, too. It explains a lot when it comes to miscommunication, especially on benign topics that get overblown and then people are peeved. I mean if Jennifer’s shirt was unique, so be it.

      You have hummingbirds! Those are usually a sign that your flowers are doing the right thing. We’ve had honey bees and bumble bees aplenty, a few hummers, but no butterflies. I’m a little baffled.

      Your August sounds like it’ll be a good one. I’d say divine, but if your husband is having surgery then maybe not perfect. Best wishes to him on a fast recovery. And by all means you enjoy your books and backyard. 😎

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  11. I think it’s Jennifer who has the problem, not poor Michael! People can be so oversensitive. My late mother-in-law had the best philosophy: she never took anything as an insult, unless someone came right to the point and said, “I hate that shirt and you shouldn’t wear it ever again.” And even then, she’d probably be grateful to be told the shirt was so bad! I aspire to be like that. I miss her.
    Have a wonderful blogging break! I was thinking of doing the exact same thing!

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    • Michelle, well you know… I tend to agree with you about Jennifer. I reread the article and the screenshot twice, trying to figure out why being told she was wearing a unique shirt upset her. Overly sensitive explains it.

      I like your MIL’s approach to potential insults. Years ago a good friend took a look at me one day and said “lose those shorts.” Was it insulting or was it direct & helpful? I took her unsolicited advice to heart, lost the shorts, and started wearing a better style. She was right.

      Enjoy your August break if you take one. I adore blogging, but only when my brain isn’t foggy from OTC meds. 🤧

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      • That’s a good friend to have! And you’re a good friend to have taken her advice without getting upset. I’m sorry August is so awful for your allergies, but I admire you for taking care of yourself and getting through it the best you can.

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  12. Like you, I would also consider the source before taking offense to a remark. Right?

    Um, your Quilt garden is SO lovely! I love the variety of flowers and I see you made a puddler for the butterflies—surely they will find you soon. I’ve used Dill as a host plant for the Eastern Black Swallowtails, not sure if those are in your area, but if they are, I hope they find your garden as I think they might be the MOST lovely of butterflies. Ok, they’re all lovely, and I hope some will find you soon.

    August + Ally=itchy, twitchy, and bitchy.
    LOL. That made me laugh!

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    • Suz, maybe I’ve been disparaged more than most and have thick skin because of it, but I don’t immediately default to someone is insulting me when someone says something about me in a direct way. 🤷‍♀️

      We can get monarch and black swallowtail butterflies here but not this year in my crazy quilt garden. I know that parsley is popular with the black swallowtail butterflies, but didn’t know about the connection to dill. I stuck it in because it looks pretty and has a nice aroma.

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  14. I have bees, butterflies, and hummingbirds- which I think are the ultimate cool. No Amish quilt order for mine. It’s called the old things garden and is totally random. An old bedpan full of some low growing flowers. An old cream separator full of marigolds. You get the picture. But a note: I’ve finally pulled the daisies as they were overtaking the whole thing! I would say enjoy your blogging break, but alas, August sounds awful for you, and it is usually such a nice month. What is in the air where you live that is so bad right then?

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    • Bernie, I like a disordered flower garden so I made it so with my crazy quilt approach. Or more accurately I guess I’m in the process of making it so. It’ll take a few years to get this garden in full bloom from spring through fall. I’ll keep your experience with daisies in mind.

      I’m allergic to tree pollen and ragweed which is in abundance in late summer here. Once it gets over itself I’ll be less itchy. I also dislike being hot, so August humidity makes me snarl. I just don’t like this month and refuse to pretend otherwise.

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  15. I don’t think Michael’s comment is off-base either. Hmm, there’s an angle for anything, even AI, but I admit I don’t think this one has legs.

    Hope your ITB is mild this August! See you in September, Ally!

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  16. Hi Ally – I really like the garden having that crazy quilt vibe and maybe the butterflies take a while to establish in a location and you might have more later or next year?
    I like how you layer in bits of wisdom to your posts and a takeaway today was how we always need to “consider the source” – and it was interesting AI chat talk here – I might just check out the Astrid show.

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    • Yvette, I’m thinking that what you said about the butterflies arriving later or next year may be the reality. I figure this crazy quilt garden will take a few years to get established, so I’ll be patient.

      The AI-powered chatbot explained the conversation, but also left me feeling like it wasn’t telling Micheal the whole story. If nothing else it is food for thought.

      I like Astrid, both the characters and the mysteries, but if you don’t like subtitles you won’t like it… regardless.

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  17. I have several people in my life who are neurodivergent, but I know they mean well, even if they sound mean.

    My flower garden is made up of blooming weeds. We co-exist. I planted tarragon and dill. The dill is supplying me with enough to spark my salmon dinners. Tarragon was a no show.

    I will miss you next month, though I fully accept your valid excuses. It will be great to have you back after allergy season.

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  18. Our neighbor has a neurodivergent son who spends most of the evening riding a scooter on his driveway. I don’t really know him well, except to say hello. He was a classmate of Tank’s. I’ve come to expect him on his driveway, but for a long time, I’d be frightened that he’d ride the scooter into the street – something I don’t expect when it’s dark out. Now I know that he’s going to stop before the street.

    I don’t garden. My yard might be considered a patchwork of nonsense, no rhyme or reason. I do have some beautiful flowers in pots on my deck that Tank planted early in the summer. They’re colorful and thriving.

    In August, we drive Reg to college. I start back to babysitting . . . ugh. I still have to select a date for that. We need to figure out how Rae is getting to school every day. Stressful. I usually do an overnight with Mini and Curly to Lake Geneva, and we are trying to squeeze that in. So August is fine and busy but a tad stressful as I try to get everyone where they need to be, and oh yeah, I need to buy a laptop for Reg before college. I’m feeling low level stress about August, I guess. I laughed at your itchy, twitchy, and bitchy. Your garden looks lovely. Oh, we do randomly have butterfly living in our garage. No clue why, but I saw it last night and again this morning. Hmmm.

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    • Ernie, interesting about your neighbor kid and his scooter. We have a neighbor boy who has one of those battery-powered little cars for kids that he drives round and round his house. I worry he’s going to go into the street one day, so I get your concern.

      Flowers in pots charm me. We have a few around but this year my focus has been on my crazy quilt garden. I only have so much bandwidth when it comes to gardening.

      Your August sounds like it’s shaping up to be BUSY! You juggle so many kids and their things that it’s difficult to keep up with you. I hope you’re able to get your trip with Mini and Curly. Our schools start back in mid-August here. Peculiar about garage butterflies. Enjoy them when you see them.

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  19. You say, “Cool kids leave comments,” but I’m not a cool kid–with 90 degree temps early in the day. Oh, well!

    I like all the iterations of your garden, but the crazy-quilt version is possibly my favorite. Good job there!

    Two other things: 1. Yes, we’ve watched a few episodes of Astrid, which is very well done. The actress is superb! 2. Yes, I too may slack off in August after my August 6 (anniversary) post.

    ENJOY! 😀

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    • Martin, you make me laugh! I was thinking more of cool kids as those with a rebellious spirit and independent spunk, but if’n you want to make it about temperatures you may do so.

      I have my fingers crossed about this crazy quilt garden idea. It’ll take a few years to see it to fruition, but in the meantime I’ll enjoy my progress & look for butterflies.

      Astrid has been a pleasant fascinating surprise. I agree the actress is superb. Happy anniversary early. I find that by taking blogging breaks I am more focused when I am here.

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  20. I just read a book called The Maid that featured the main character as suspected neurodivergent. I really enjoyed it and if you’re off in August, and feel like reading a book, it’s an easy read. I love your patchwork garden. I too have a somewhat patchwork garden, but not nearly as nice as yours. I think the weeds decided they wanted to be in the patchwork too, I used to love August and still do but now the grandkids go back so early to school that it seems like it’s over before it began. Baseball season is finally over and now we only have a few weeks to do fun stuff although I guess baseball is fun too depending who you ask.

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    • Martha, thanks for the book recommendation. Now that the topic of neurodivergent vs neurotypical is on my radar I’m curious about it. I like some weeds so a few in a garden can be charming. Especially when the garden isn’t tightly organized so that they blend rather than stand out.

      You’re right kids that go back to school earlier now. We returned after Labor Day, but now they start by mid-August.

      Laughing about your assessment of baseball. A little of it is fun to watch, anything more than that and I’m bored. Enjoy your fun stuff.

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  21. Neurodivergent, neurotypical, it’s all neuroGreek to me.

    August is festival season! We’ve got Goatfest, Rhapsody on the River, and the State Fair all coming up…plus my parents will be back for a six-day visit at the end of the month. Enjoy your break; I hope your allergies cut you some slack this year!

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    • Mark, I’ll admit that before I started watching Astrid I was less aware of anything ‘neuro’ but now that know about it I’m following my own curiosity to learn more. It explains many miscommunications in my life.

      Your August sounds enjoyable and one that’ll be fun for you. If the weather is pleasant and the company is fun, you’re golden. Enjoy!

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    • Ren, I’m smiling. I don’t know how new this word is, but now that I understand its meaning I feel better able to talk with people and get what they’re saying. The more you know, the farther you’ll go!

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  26. Your garden is looking great! Very peaceful. I know quite a few people who are neurodivergent, including children. Each one has a different set of behaviors and challenges. It can be very tricky. Like you, I don’t see anything wrong with the comment about the shirt being unique. I would simply say, “Thank you! That’s what I was going for.” I loved Astrid and also enjoyed Patience which is the British version of it. I hope you aren’t too miserable in August. 😦

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    • Margaret, thanks. This garden project has been good for me. Allowed me to goof off in a small area, instead of having a huge all-yard landscape plan like I’ve done previously.

      I’m enjoying Astrid and how it has brought neurodivergent behaviors into focus for me. I like learning about what makes people tick so this is good. Another commenter mentioned Patience which I’ve not heard about, so thanks for that suggestion.

      The comment about the shirt didn’t seem like anything big to me, but the chatbot explanation of what it meant was interesting. It’s a wonder any of us are able to communicate with each other at all— considering how we all communicate slightly differently.

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  27. I totally agree with your assessment of the vacuousness of ChatGPT or equivalent being a translator/explainer for neurodivergent people, Ally. The spectrum is vast, and we’re probably all on it somewhere. Take care of yourself during August, and enjoy your garden, even if it has to be by looking out from the window sometimes!

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    • Jane, well said about the “vacuousness” of the chatbot’s explanation of the conversation between Micheal and Jennifer. I reread the article twice to make sure I was understanding it. I’m with Micheal on this point. Agree that we all communicate in our own ways along a spectrum, so maybe give people a bit of grace.

      Yes, I may be enjoying my flowers by looking at them through a window BUT I’ll enjoy them regardless. See ‘ya later, gator.

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  29. Re Astrid show…..I just finished watched a British six part detective show called Patience, which was on my local PBS station, and it was similar in that Patience, a person on the spectrum, works in the police records dept. and helps the detectives solve cases. The interesting thing is that the actress who plays Patience is neurodivergent in real life. I think it was a British adaptation of the Astrid show. It’s been renewed for a second season. Your garden looks lovely. I saw a Monarch butterfly for the first time in years in my yard last week. I struggle with August too – but not because of allergies. I find it a depressing month for some reason, always have.

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    • Joni, thanks for the information about Patience. It sounds similar to Astrid and must be pretty good if it’s been renewed for a second season. I’ll keep an eye out for it.

      A monarch butterfly! That’s wonderful and my ultimate goal with this crazy quilt garden.

      Now that you mention it, I find August a little depressing too. It seems like a slow slog to autumn which is my favorite season so I resent August for dragging along. Getting in my way before fall.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I will watch for Astrid, but Netflix is the only streaming service I get. The actress in Patience was really good and very photogenic. We wait for summer all year and I hate that the days start to get gradually get shorter in August and it’s not daylight until after 9pm, like in June or July which is a reminder of cold weather and winter coming. I much prefer spring. Plus it’s my birthday month and both of my parents died that time of year, my mother just last year, so yea, depressing all around. I will need to stay busy. Although I do find I have more energy in the fall when the humidity lifts.

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        • Joni, after I wrote this post a few commenters have mentioned Patience as the British equivalent of the French Astrid. I’d not heard of Patience and may look for it. We’re watching Astrid on Prime but it originally was on PBS I’m told.

          You’re right that we do wait for summer then have to watch as the days get shorter during it. And in my case get very itchy in August, a summer month. I can understand why you’re feeling depressed, but being a pragmatist also realize that the days do what they do regardless of our opinions about them.

          Like you I’m just waiting for fall and the lower humidity when I can breathe free and get outside to goof off. Soon, very soon, I keep telling myself.

          Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Dorothy! I was asked what my new flower beds were going to be like and the crazy quilt idea popped into my head. It explains the *chaos* perfectly.

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  31. I’m adding Astrid to my watch list. That sounds right up my alley.

    The more I learn about neurodiversity, I wonder who doesn’t have it. I guess the point is the degree to how it affects everyday life.

    Enjoy your time off! I don’t know what I’m allergic to, but it’s something that sets in around late August. My #1 symptom is fatigue.

    Liked by 1 person

    • BTW I forgot to say that I have an old crazy quilt that was handed down in the family and I love it. I did not know about crazy quilt gardens until now but I approve!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’d love to have a crazy quilt. How lucky you are. I think they’re fascinating and artsy so a garden that is called one works for me even if I’m not a Victorian woman.

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    • Birchie, I’ve enjoyed Astrid, the characters and the mysteries hold my attention. Most shows don’t do that, so naturally I think it’s great.

      I agree that we all are neurodivergent to some degree and knowing that seems vital if we’re to communicate clearly.

      Being tired? Yes that’s how my August allergies hit me. When writing a simple blog post becomes too difficult for me because my head aches, I know it’s time to step away for a while.

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  32. Unique is a word I recall being used by sarcastic people who didn’t have anything nice to say about a specific thing. Not sure if it still is but I might assume it was if I heard it.

    I love the idea of a patchwork quilt garden. Nature was never meant to be structured.

    All the best for August. Hope you don’t suffer too much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenn, that’s an interesting definition of ‘unique’ so if that’s the case then I can see how someone might be offended. I’ve only heard the word used in a positive way, to indicate originality and spunk. Language is endlessly fascinating. Thanks for sharing that.

      I’ve come to agree that nature isn’t meant to be as structured as we try to make it. This garden project is a new beginning perhaps. See ‘ya next month.

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  33. If someone said my shirt was unique I might say something like, “I know, right?” and not at all be offended. Some folks are offended too easily IMHO. This August I might try my hand at the August Break again, the prompt guided picture taking and/or blogging session that is put together by Suzanna Conway. I saw the prompts on Insta the other day and once again they look like fun. I’ve been away from blogging for much of the past 2 years actually so this might help me get back in the groove. Happy August to you! Hope the girls help you get through it safely.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, your response to the unique shirt comment is like mine. I’d agree, smile, and go on with my day.

      I’ve done the Susannah Conway August prompts on IG, too. I like her perspective and attitude. I’m not going to do them this year but I’ll be sure to look for your pics if you do them. Thanks for your well wishes.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. I’m not a big fan of August either. We get no rain in August – it’s very depressing. I am fortunate enough to know several people who are on the Autism scale – they fascinate me although their caretakers are often overwhelmed. They can be brilliant in one area and then shut down in all other areas. I hope your August is more comfortable than you expect!

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    • Jan, I can imagine how no rain in August could be depressing. Some years we get no rain in August while other years we get lots of rain. Either way the pollen finds me and causes me trouble.

      I’m sure you’re right about the challenges of any caretaker who has to look after someone with Asperger’s. I know that brilliance comes at a price. This TV series makes that clear.

      Hope you have a pleasant [enough] August, too. We all adapt.

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  36. Your garden is gorgeous! I love that you’ve modeled it after a crazy quilt. What a fun way to structure it. The butterflies will surely find it soon!

    Lots of people in my life are neurodivergent (or, as one of them likes to say, neurospicy) (I’m not sure I can get behind that term, but, to each her own). Sometimes we communicate just fine, and other times I feel like we are speaking separate languages. Sometimes I can help “translate,” like that chatbot; for instance, if I know a particular person is Extremely Literal, and I witness a conversation between that person and someone who doesn’t know about this quirk, I can sometimes step in and say, “I think Person A does not understand X” or “I think Person B doesn’t realize that you took them at their literal word in this case and it is causing some misunderstanding.” Although I never know if that’s helpful, or if I’m just sticking my nosy nose in the middle of a situation where I don’t belong! Probably better for someone to seek out help than have it offered, unsolicited!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, I have my fingers crossed about the butterflies. I mean even if they don’t show up the bees are grooving on the garden so hardly a defeat.

      I’ve seen people in social media refer to themselves as neurospicy but never knew what it meant until lately after watching Astrid. I totally get your ability to translate everyday language for someone who is Extremely Literal. I had a friend like that who couldn’t wrap her head around many everyday ways of saying things. She was smart enough, able to work full-time, but had zero whimsy or pop culture awareness.

      Like you I wondered about whether I should help her understand or just let her wander through life baffled. She seemed to like my translations but also I’m not entirely sure she really understood what I was saying. We’ve lost touch now so who’s to say.

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  37. I’m not aware of anyone that I know who is neurodivergent, but a lot of people certainly have interesting ways of communicating. For instance, when you ask what you perceive as a simple question, the person doesn’t want to answer it directly, so you get some vague response, and you take the cue to back off that topic. 🙂 I have lots of flower garden beds, in general they are doing okay, but we’ve had this string of 90-100 degree days, wicked humidity, and no rain. The no rain is critical because I don’t water perennials, hence some are not happy. My husband is dealing with some medical issues right now, so I’m hoping to survive August. 🙂 Maybe I can squeeze something fun in, and I hope you do as well, as long as you have Pat, Vertie, and Flo with you. Happy break!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy, yes I’ve talked with people who cannot, or will not, answer a simple question directly. It’s like they think I don’t deserve a genuine answer, must keep facets of themselves hidden. Like you, I let it go but do note & remember their vague answer.

      No rain is a problem. We’ve had lots but all at once, like in 48 hours, then none for days. Very unpredictable. Our perennials are doing okay though.

      Best of luck with your husband’s medical issues. I wish him and you well. Maybe fun will find you in August. It could happen! See ‘ya next month.

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  38. You would know if you were neurodivergent. It has it’s positives 😉 Butterflies for some reason were scarce down here last summer. Our balcony lemon tree has plenty of fruit so the bees have been busy. I do like your newly established garden, I enjoy a cottage garden, letting nature do it’s thing and humans less controlling. Enjoy your August break.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Joanne, Astrid is in French with English subtitles, but a few commenters have mentioned that there’s a British version called Patience. If I tire of ‘reading’ my show I might look into it. AI is everywhere, difficult to avoid. Not sure how I feel about that.

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  40. I have people I love who are neurodivergent, so hearing about Astrid has piqued my interest. Thank you for sharing it here. Also, thank you for linking that article—I’m going to take a look at it after leaving this comment.

    Your garden is so pretty. It’s been so hot and humid here this summer that I’ve only been outside for watering in the morning and at night. We’re supposed to get a few cooler days this week—I hope you will too.

    I don’t blame you for taking August off. Summer is my least favorite season for all the same reasons you listed. Try to enjoy your blog break. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kari, I’m enjoying the TV series. Astrid is unlike any other character I’ve seen on TV. The actress that plays her is good and the plots are different [in a good way].

      We’ve had hot and humid days this summer, too. They’ve been broken up by a few delightful summer days which supposedly are going to return this weekend. Hope we both get the better weather.

      I’m not as thrilled with summer as an adult as I was a child. Now it seems endlessly hot and if I go outside I have to slather on a so much sunscreen I’m slippery. It’s ick.

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  41. I know a lot of neurodivergent people – and that is definitely an interesting resource. In terms of “unique,” I think it depends on the tone. I grew up in a very passive-aggressive home where “unique” or “interesting” might be used to describe something in an unflattering way. Although if someone told me I had a unique shirt and the tone was positive, I would not take that amiss.
    I love your garden! It’s beautiful! I love seeing bees and butterflies zipping around in my garden. Yours is so gorgeous, I love it so much.
    Good luck getting through allergy season! I will be just soaking up the Okanagan summer around here. I’ll miss you though – but hope you have a great, and not too sniffly, month! xo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, I don’t know how the AI in this chatbot was programmed but in this example its analysis seemed off to me. I take your point that we don’t know how passive-aggressive Micheal is so there’s no way to definitively know if the intention behind the word “unique” was harmless or hurtful. It can go both ways.

      Thanks for the compliment about the crazy quilt garden. It’s a fun ongoing project that is coming together and will keep evolving for years, me hopes.

      I’ll catch up with you after I survive August. I don’t want to dislike the month but the weather isn’t for me. 🤧

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  42. I’m between you and Nicole’s comment. On the surface I didn’t find the comment off putting. But I’d say the final determination depends on the tone.
    I love your garden. At least the photographic aspect.
    My plans for August are usually merely to survive.

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    • Micheal, I take Nicole’s point about needing to know how passive-aggressive Micheal was when he said what he said. I’m not unfamiliar with such family dynamics, but in general I’d just let it go.

      The garden has been a fun foray into organized chaos, so what’s not to love? Good luck surviving August. In truth that’s what any of us want to do.

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Sounds like August is your month to nurture your soul and escape to a haven of tranquility! I’m a big fan of bee balm it grows wild here in my part of Texas. Your flower garden is splendid!

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    • Awakening Wonders, you’re onto something with your idea that I can nurture my soul in August— preferably in a room filled with AC. You have wild bee balm! That’s so cool and would be wonderful to see. Here we intentionally plant it, then hope for the best that it grows.

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  44. I’d never heard of this before, Ally. I’ll have to take time to read all the comments at some point. I’ve had gardens in the Midwest, but still getting used to living in a desert and what it means for gardens. This Thursday, I’m off for Wyoming, although my husband unfortunately can’t come along. In Arizona, we look forward to the end of summer. 😉. No humidity, but plenty of heat. Enjoy your break!

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    • Janet, I was aware of the term neurodivergent but didn’t understand what it meant until I started watching Astrid. It makes sense once you understand it and think back on some conversations you’ve had— ones that made you wonder why they were going so badly.

      I couldn’t live in AZ heat so I applaud you for doing that. I know the gardens are different in the desert, beauty is where you find, or plant, it. A trip to Wyoming sounds exciting. Enjoy!

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  45. I love your garden. I can appreciate a “well organized” garden but I prefer a more natural look.

    You are the second blogger who has recommended Astrid (and alerted me to the Patience version). I will definitely check it out.

    So far, our summer has been delightful – cool in the morning and low-to-mid 70s in the afternoon. Things usually heat up in August and September around here, but still not too bad (which is good since we don’t have AC).

    Enjoy your time away but don’t forget about us Cool Kids!

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    • Janis, I’m enjoying this more natural slightly chaotic flower garden. I couldn’t do that style all around the house but in this quadrant the crazy quilt approach is working.

      I only learned about Patience after I published this post. A number of commenters have mentioned it because it is in English, not French like Astrid.

      Your summer sounds wonderful. I’ve been to San Diego a few times in the summer and remember the breezes, no high humidity. Nothing like our late summer weather.

      I plan on returning to the blog sometime in September when I stop taking the meds that make me tired. Until then, carry on my fellow Cool Kid.

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  46. I’m with you! But then, I saw that “unique shirt” scenario played out over and over again between my engineer father and dancer/artist mother. It became a running joke in our family and we used to compete to see how banal we could get him to be when one of us demanded an opinion on a new item of clothing. “Oh… er…. It’s very blue” or “those are very interesting buttons.” You could see the panic in his eyes. Genius level IQ, but he never did figure out what the women in his life were looking for when they asked him his opinion on clothing or hairstyles.

    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and now that at least three out of my four kids are pretty obviously on the spectrum to some degree, and ADHD to boot, and since I can’t blame all of that on their father because I’ve begun to notice similarities in my own thinking to theirs, I’ve just decided that we are, to one degree or another, a neuro-spicy family and at least we’re not boring.

    My garden, btw, had monarch butterflies last week but has dragonflies at the moment and I am at a loss to explain this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • muffythedramaslayer, I’m laughing out loud about y’all trying to get your genius engineer dad to say something charming about your clothes. I’ve no doubt he was out of his element when forced to compliment. I could see me doing the same thing in your place. Thanks for sharing the story here.

      Interesting how you are coming to realize that your kids and you are probably neurospicy. I’ve no doubt it is something you can become aware of once you realize the possibility of it. Glad that you’re not boring, that would never do.

      No butterflies here so far. I adore dragonflies but haven’t seen them either. HOWEVER we have bees, all kinds of bees, flitting around everywhere so that’s good.

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  47. I’ve been watching Astrid too. They seem to be doing a good job, making her interesting, lovable, and (I assume) accurate as a neural divergent young woman.

    Nothing wrong with saying her shirt is unique. Gimme a break.

    Even regarding gardens, I tend to the average (not too hot, not too cold, just right.) I don’t like formal gardens, nor do I like gardens that are so messy that there’s no design at all. I always like the path/stream look that gives the impression of guiding the eye to some wonderful destination. I’m not a gardener, so I’m just talking as a lover of gardens. Yours is beautiful. I’m glad you have bees and hope you will eventually have butterflies.

    Have a good August rest.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nicki, Astrid has hooked me. I know it’ll take a long time for me to get through all of it, IF I do. I don’t binge watch shows so for me pacing is everything. I feel like I’m learning something new which I enjoy.

      Yep, about Micheal’s shirt comment. Gimme a break is my take on it, too.

      I take your point about finding a visually pleasing middle between a formal garden and a totally wild mess. I’m hoping that the stone steps through my crazy quilt garden, plus the existing roses and Russian sages will provide enough structure to put me in the middle you mention. Only time will allow me to know for sure if I deem this project a success.

      Happy August to you, too!

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  48. In my world, we’re all neurodiverse. WTF is normal?! I didn’t see anything wrong with the shirt comment, either. So sue me, right?

    My garden is chaotic and I like it that way. Butterflies have been scarce this year. Very dry. I planted a “cutting garden” at a shared space down the road. The gophers ate all but one zinnia. Other flowers didn’t come up, or only a few. BUT I have lots of “baby’s breath” white flowers and a few larkspur and cosmos. I mix with other flowers from the yard and along the road. It’s great! I’m very happy not to be buying grocery store flowers this summer. I’m hoping to get some decorative sunflowers, gladiolus and dahlias later in the season.

    The next couple months I’ll be studying and using Zotero to organize my research and give a presentation in October. Hopefully a camping/biking trip or two. A party for friends.

    Enjoy your blogging break, Ally! Good luck with the gardening (dill is one of my reseeders for a long time; come and get it!).

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    • Eilene, I’m with you. I reread the article twice to make sure I was understanding what was going on and YES the chatbot told Micheal that there was a *logical* reason why Jennifer was upset by his comment. Beats me.

      Gophers! We have troubles with rabbits and squirrels and chipmunks, but not gophers who sound more aggressive than are destructive critters. I know what you mean about not buying flowers at the grocery. In the dead of winter they’re a mental health necessity, but in the summer it’s more rewarding to grow your own.

      Your plans sound productive and fun. I don’t know about Zotero, but if’n it helps you do your thing then I love it. See ‘ya next month.

      Liked by 1 person

  49. It would be interesting to know what information/sources/ were fed into this particular AI bot and what bias it has been given.
    We have had a not so normal July with lots of rain and cool weather. Sure looking forward to summer in August!

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    • Margy, I agree. Considering all AI is plagiarism software, you know the chatbot ideas had to come from somewhere. The only trace of bias I could pick up was that neurotypical people need more praise. As if, huh?

      To me today living in high heat & humidity, rain and cool weather sound delightful, but if that’s not your norm I understand why you’re feeling the way you do. Happy August.

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  50. It appears Jennifer equated “unique” with something bad. I think I’d ponder over “unique” as a description for my clothing too, but maybe she was having an off day and that comment hit a nerve? Like you, I don’t think Michael’s comment was horrible.

    I like your garden very much Ally and I hope you get some butterflies before the first frost. Have you considered getting some plants known as “Orange Milkweed” a/k/a Butterfly Weed. That will lure butterflies to your garden as well and it blooms all Summer. It is found at the perennial garden in a park near my home and is tended to by volunteers. It seems to thrive and does not have the TLC found in a homeowner’s garden. I’ve not been there yet this year, but in years past, the Monarchs and Swallowtails loved it.

    No, I have no plans for August except the first few days of the month will be less hot/humid so I will look forward to getting out and enjoying myself a little. Of course, “enjoying myself” is relative since Wednesday’s torrential downpours will likely create muddy messes, but our tick explosion will likely have me off the rustic trails anyway. Enjoy your time away from WP!

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    • Linda, I realize there are valid emotional reasons why Jennifer could have been put off by Micheal’s comment but the chatbot didn’t go into them, just explained its theory of why she was upset. Quite an assumption on the part of the chatbot.

      I know of orange milkweed so will look into it. We have white and pink milkweed growing— sort of. Maybe the orange butterfly weed would do better. Thanks for the idea. Couldn’t hurt.

      Your summer weather has been something else. I hope you get the chance to go outside, but also know it’ll be an off-chance more than a planned event. Still, enjoy what you can!

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      • The chatbots take liberties with everything these days. I am writing this reply to your comment and the predictive text wants to put words into my mouth. The thing is what they are spitting out in the empty box is what is in my mind to type.

        Yes, the orange milkweed will help you out and is easy to grow and looks nice, unless you’re aiming for more of a pastel “quilt garden” in which case it may stick out like a sore thumb. Good luck with it.

        Today was soggy, with torrential rain since this afternoon and a good part of tomorrow and we’re back to the wildfire smoke and air quality alerts. Yes, this too will pass and soon it will be our favorite season – yay!

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        • I’ve had that experience with predictive text too. Is it learning our preferred turns of phrase then suggesting them? That’s what I thought was going on. Because I’m ornery I often refuse to say what it suggests just to thwart it. I make my own fun.

          No color theme with this crazy quilt garden. There’s a local garden nursery that has a huge sale in the fall. I’ll look for the orange milkweed.

          Looking soooo forward to fall. 🍁

          Liked by 1 person

          • You know that could be correct that the predictive text knows our speech patterns and such. I am the same way and ignore the suggestion, just like in Word, when AI attempts to auto-correct my sentence as it’s too conversational, wordy or whatever. Who is writing this – you or me?

            I hope you can find the orange Milkweed – keep those butterflies going strong

            If only it was the end of September. I hate wishing my life away, but Summer has worn out its welcome with me!

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  53. I love your Crazy Quilt garden, Ally!. Yes, most of the flowers you mentioned attract bees and butterflies. When I was in California, I saw a monarch flapping around, but I didn’t have any flowers that made them stay. It took me a couple of years to plant milkweeds and zinnias, and other flowers they liked. I finally found some caterpillars on my milkweed five years ago!!! I then raised monarchs in the following three years.
    I moved to Oregon 2 1/2 years ago, and the Pacific Northwest isn’t monarch’s migrating route. I’m heartbroken for not seeing monarchs here. I still try my best to plant flowers that attract other butterflies, like swallowtail butterflies. I’m hopeful. 🙂
    Enjoy your break, Ally!

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    • Miriam, thanks for your kind words. This gardening project has been ongoing and will continue to be that until I find the *right* plants to attract the monarchs and other butterflies. I know monarches are around here, so it is doable. Three years of raising monarchs is cool. I’d be thrilled too.

      I know that every region of the country has different native butterflies so maybe your new flower garden will draw the locals! If nothing else it’s making your life prettier. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

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  54. Neurodivergent people like Jennifer react differently to such comments, and it’s better to show understanding to someone like that. Elsewhere, AI helps nowadays for mostly informative purposes and tips, so it’s good.

    Nonetheless, I love your garden, Ally. I hope August will still be a beautiful month for you, despite allergies. All the best!

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    • Hazel, if the AI-powered chatbot helps someone communicate without misunderstanding then there may be some value in it. I’m not sure the example in the article proves that point, but it is good for talking about on a blog.

      I think you’re right that August will be a beautiful month for me… as I sit inside in the AC and drink tea + take my OTC meds + just be. I could use a little bit of nothing going on.

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  55. I’m answering your questions directly here today, since I’ll be keeping my replies short.

    Are you fascinated by the ways in which people communicate? Are you aware of anyone in your life who is neurodivergent?

    Almost everybody I know has some kind of disability, so yeah – a lot of them are neurodivergent as well. They communicate well in my view, but others rarely understand them, especially employers and government agencies do not.

    Do you have a flower garden? And if so, Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, how does your garden grow? Do you have butterflies and bees?

    Nope, I live in an apartment so no flowers here or gardens.

    Does anyone have fun plans for August? Just because I dislike the month doesn’t mean I expect anyone else to feel the same way.

    Not really, besides hoping I’ll be able to find a better job with a higher income.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fedora Pancakes, you raise a good point about how employers and government agencies in particular do not make the effort needed to try to understand what a neurodivergent person is saying. It’s one thing when it comes to personal relationships, but a whole different thing when it comes to making money and getting services. The frustration is real.

      No flowers in your apartment, but a possibility of getting a better job. You’ve got your August under control, in your own way!

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  56. Most of my significant (romantic) relationships have been with people on the spectrum. What can I say, I like big brains and those often come with neuro-atypical-ness (sorry for making up words). While I may like the idea of getting more pretty words said about how I look/dress, I think I’d find myself not trusting that behaviour, because I like honesty.

    Like any form of AI, how well it operates is down to the quality of its training. When you try and load up your AI with all the possible reasons why someone may look at you askance for something you’ve said, there’s going to be a *lot* of excess flimflam! I found it funny, and felt for poor Michael who sounds like he was making a good effort.

    I love your Quilt Garden. I love looking at gardens, but my back and gardening do not good bedfellows make.

    August is very much not filled with plans. I am in full-blown recovery mode for it appears I may not be as well as I wanted to believe I was. So rest is the order of the day. Fortunately the Booker prize longlist has dropped, so I have *plenty* of reading material to fill my days while I do so.

    I hope you get to rest somewhat too Ally. Allergies are no fun *at all* especially when everyone else is rushing around happy to have the sunshine and higher temps. Take it easy m’dear and looking forward to seeing you back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, interesting observation that it might be easier to live with someone who tells you the truth, about your shirt in this case, than to be with someone who’s saying sweet words to gain your affections. I agree with you.

      I’m not enamored with AI so this article was an insight into how it could be useful, but maybe wasn’t. Like you said, it’s all about the training. Results may vary.

      I’m sorry to read that you may be ailing, but glad to read that you’ll be taking the time you need to get better. Reading is a good way to pass the time and I plan to do more of it in August. When I’m attentive in blogland I get most of my daily reading quota that way, but once I detach from blogs I can read books instead of blogs which is a break for me.

      See ‘ya in September.

      Liked by 1 person

  57. Well, it’s time for some Opinions from yrs truly. I despise the term ‘neurodivergent’ as much as I despise ‘sanitary engineer’ for trash man or ‘neutralize’ for ‘kill.’ For one thing, use of such words often is a way to gain a grant or get a journal article published. Beyond that, sticking a label on someone is always problematic.

    It also is clear that the problems that arise from anthropomorphizing AI chatbots, or establishing ‘relationships’ with them, are going to increase, with the law of unintended consequences increasingly coming into play. Another unintended (although surely predictable) consequence is the drain on the power grid caused by AI.

    I know, I know. Old woman yells at clouds. Still, I’m not willing to believe that resistance is futile! On the positive side, I love your garden. Nothing bores me more than a formal garden with hedges trimmed within an inch of their lives and flowers planted in blocks of color. Yours is glorious. August? Not so much. I despise the heat and humidity, and even the knowledge that flowers are blooming away often isn’t enough to tempt me out on the weekend after working in the heat all week. Maybe this weekend! In the meantime, you stay cool and away from that pollen!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, I take your point about the term neurodivergent. It does sound like a contrived word used as a way to get a grant or publish a journal article. Made me laugh out loud with that insight. Academia does what academia does!

      I’ve read a few articles talking about what you mention: the problems that arise from anthropomorphizing AI chatbots. I’m not sure how you can slow people down from using AI because it’s the newest latest greatest thing. And most people seem to be taking it as an improvement in our quality of life rather than a negative force. I see it more as a negative than a positive, btw.

      My crazy quilt garden is in its infancy. I plan on tweaking the flowers and herbs next year, having seen this year what’ll thrive and what won’t. Of course, the new plantings will be mostly random so I’ll keep the crazy part going. Maybe add a statuary focal point for year-round interest. Possibilities abound.

      Stay cool this August. Enjoy what you can. Thanks for stopping by to comment. You know I love it.

      Liked by 1 person

  58. So much to comment on here!

    First off I don’t think Michael’s comment is offensive in the least. And if I was married to him I’d KNOW that it wasn’t meant to be offensive, because I’d know Michael’s speach patterns and thought processes. So I think the example, while really interesting, is likely not realistic. If he had something like that shade of green is really ugly on you, I might have been offended and then there could have been a discussion.

    The garden. Well, I have a helter-skelter perennial garden. I just can’t get it under control and I kind of like it like that. But my HUSBAND wants a much more refined garden. So periodically (maybe every 5 years) I pull some stuff out to make more space and that always breaks my heart because I HATE pulling out plants that are doing just fine just because it’s a crowded crazy garden. This year the mama deer and her darling twins are keeping the garden mowed down…so who knows what will survive until next year.

    August. I’m so sorry about your allergies! That must be miserable. My sister is like that in the spring. She found out accidently that if she wears a mask outside during her worst month (April) she doesn’t get nearly as congested and doesn’t sneeze continually. She figured that out during covid when she was wearing a mask to school (as a teacher) all day. Now she wears a mask when she mows the lawn in the spring and her life is much better. She and I (she lives in AL and I live in MI) are planning a trip to Sough Dakota in August. We don’t know yet if we’ll really get it accomplished, lots of stuff in the way, but that’s what we’re hoping to do!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dawn, I agree with you that if you’re Micheal’s wife, you’d consider the source of the comment before getting all steamed. But that’s not how the chatbot figured it out. For better or worse.

      I hope to get my crazy quilt garden to a point where it is almost too overgrown, but not quite. I understand your sadness when it comes to uprooting healthy plants, but sometimes needs be, as they say.

      August allergies have been part of my life since I can remember. I’ve lived most of my life in OH so that may contribute to it. I’ve never thought of wearing a mask outside during August, though.

      A trip to South Dakota sounds exciting. I know it’s a big state rather far away from both of you, so no doubt it’ll take some planning. BUT if you do get there think of the photo opportunities at every turn.

      Liked by 1 person

  59. Cheers to you, dear Ally — enjoying your blogging break! And thank you for sharing the gorgeous photos of your garden. I love the less manicured ‘crazy quilt’ reference. Makes sense to me! (Side note: I wish we’d pruned our bee balm…the hummingbirds enjoy it but the blooms are pretty well spent. Whoops!)
    Sending hugs…keep taking your allergy cocktail…Pat, Flo and Vertie. Love it! xo! 🥰💕🥰

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  60. A) My roommate and I just started watching the English adaptation of Astrid, Patience. It’s really good so far and I feel for Patience so much. As for Jennifer, maybe it was more so Michael’s tone? Otherwise, my initial reaction was, “Really? That upset her?” At the same time, I’m the kind of person who would absolutely make that comment with a deadpan delivery just to be a sarcastic wench because that’s my personality. 🙃 But only to someone I’m already comfortable and familiar with. If I didn’t know the person well I wouldn’t say anything at all.

    B) I love your patchwork garden. It’s semi wild, which is my aesthetic preference. Manicured gardens are nice but they have too much of an aesthetic complex.

    C) August is my mom’s birthday month but it’s also just one more month between me and fall, when the weather finally adopts a more pleasant temperament. So I can’t say I blame you one bit. Especially since you seem to blog on a regular basis. I say “seem to” because I blog and read blogs irregularly so I’m not actually sure. Do you keep a blogging schedule? I would love to pretend like that would help me stay consistent with it, but I’d be lying.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lauren the Sarcastic Wench, your comment is spot on to how I might say something like what Micheal said IF I was familiar with a person. Also, I’ve now put Patience on my list to watch. Astrid is in French with subtitles, which can be tiring even if I adore the character.

      The crazy quilt garden has a bit of structure but overall the look I’m going for is organized chaos or purposefully disheveled, maybe. Just not perfect in the sense of manicured.

      Not many people have professed their love of August. I, too, am looking forward to the fall, my favorite season on the year.

      Because you asked: I do keep a blog posting schedule but filled with random eclectic topics. I post every other Tuesday or sometime weekly when I have something juicy to tell. I do that because I know me and I’d never show up here if I didn’t tell everyone I’d be here. Once I say I’m going to do something, I do it— for better or worse.

      Great to see you here. Thanks for stopping by to comment. Happy August.

      Liked by 1 person

  61. Hello Ally! I would not have taken offense at being told my shirt was unique, unless the statement was offered in a negative tone of voice. Unique is good in my book. I do have a grandson and a first cousin once removed (Are you impressed that I got the relationship correct? I looked it up) that have been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. I also know several others that are neurodivergent. Communication can sometimes be interesting, but I’ve yet to be offended…or hopefully to have offended.

    I love your crazy quilt garden! I hope the butterflies discover it soon. Our yard attracts bees and hummingbirds, but not too many butterflies.

    Enjoy your time off in August! Or if you can’t enjoy August, at least survive until September. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    • Christie, I agree that unique isn’t bad in my book, too. However reading all the comments I’ve learned that some people find it derogatory. It strikes me that sometimes you can’t win, no matter what you say.

      Interesting that you know two people who have been diagnosed with autism so you have some real life experience communicating with them. And yes, I am impressed that you know your specific relationship to your cousin, that’s a skill.

      I wouldn’t mind having a few hummers find this garden, but will focus on drawing butterflies here first. The garden project has been fun and will be ongoing.

      Ha! You may have said it best: at least survive until September. 😁

      Like

  62. You, my dear, are a gardener after my own heart. Let it be wild and crazy! I love your photos, and you’ve given me some ideas for my own. Yes, we have gardens, and our purpose is to attract bees and butterflies. We have many of the same plants as you do. We are disappointed that we are not seeing as many Gulf Fritillaries this year as we did last year. And I don’t think we’ve even seen a Zebra Longwing. Both of those butterflies are native to the southeast. However, we are seeing a variety of small butterflies, like Skippers, and we’ve had a goodly number of Swallowtail larvae around, but only occasionally have we seen the butterflies. I’m hoping it’s just early yet. Maybe the heat dome is keeping them away.

    I’m glad you enjoyed Astrid. What I really like about the series is that both Astrid and her police friends have to make efforts to communicate. They need to meet each other halfway. I kind of resent the idea that it’s the neurodivergents that are expected to adjust to neurotypicals. Kind of like expecting an introvert to act like an extrovert in order to be accepted into society.

    No fun plans for August. Maybe we’ll finally spend a day or two at a beach, but I can’t really say. It’s really hot down here and the weather is often iffy. Enjoy your break! I do hope your allergies won’t trouble you too much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marie, my new approach to the flower garden has been fun. It might seem like a lark to tear up what was there and planted organized chaos, but I want to make butterfly garden and this seems like a great way. Even if they haven’t arrived yet. You sound like you’re getting a decent number of butterflies even with the extreme heat.

      I know what you mean about how neurotypical, like extroverts, can assume their way of communicating, and living, is the best way. Not all of course, but neurodivergence and introversion aren’t the defaults in our society.

      Hope you get to the beach in August if the temps are with you. I plan to take OTC meds and veg inside avoiding pollen as much as possible. See you in September.

      Liked by 1 person

  63. Your garden looks pretty good to me. We have a few of those plants and the bees love them.

    I will do a little traveling in August. I began a 2-week blogging break on Sunday. I’m keeping CFFC alive, but that’s it. Of course I’m still reading some blogs. Enjoy your break.

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    • Dan, bees are happy with the plants, but no butterflies [yet?]. I’m trying to not take it personally.

      I knew you were doing a blog break so I’m thrilled that you decided to pop in here to read and comment. I don’t think I’ll try to keep up with anyone in blogland while I’m away. Probably be grumbling & sneezing too much to reach out. 🤧

      Liked by 1 person

      • I won’t keep up with everyone, but I’ll pop in to favorite places from time to time.

        For us, butterflies come later. The bees have been out since the first ground cover sprouted its little flowers.

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s a smart approach. I could do that. It’s not like anyone is keeping attendance about whether I show up or not. The blogosphere doesn’t revolve around me. 😁

          Maybe our butterflies are on schedule for later and I don’t know it. Interesting.

          Liked by 1 person

  65. I’m with you on Jennifer. She should know her husband well enough to say something like, “What do you find unique about it,” rather than getting peeved. That being said, if the chatbox is helpful for some people, hey, more power to them.

    I apparently have been harboring a crazy quilt garden for years without knowing it. Our flower garden is a total hodgepodge as we just toss stuff in the ground and see what sticks. Yours looks lovely.

    Ugh, I feel for you and August. But this: “itchy, twitchy, and bitchy” I love! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ilsa Rey, while a few commenters have felt that saying unique was problematic, the majority have said that Jennifer should know how to handle Micheal’s comment. I’m sure the AI-powered chatbot could be useful but maybe not always useful. ‘Ya know?

      Your hodgepodge is what I’m going for with my crazy quilt garden. This is one small area of our planting beds and I want it to be chaotic in contrast to the more organized areas. I need some garden rebellion.

      I’ll survive August, but not without a good deal of grumbling along the way. Thanks for stopping by to read & comment. Seize ‘ya in September.

      Liked by 1 person

  66. Everything you talked about is so relevant to me. 1) I had just posted comments cautioning against the use of AI, and you presented new information! Interesting take on the value of AI in certain situations. 2) I am trying to design a yard from scratch, learning about different plants, erosion control, etc. It’s clear that I’m in over my head. We will be getting advice from a nursery, but I still want to have my hand in the decision making and the whole ‘vision.’ Come help me? 3) Yes, our biggest trip of the summer happens in August. Hope you have a great break!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gwen, I’m not a 100% for AI but I am getting some indication that it could be useful in certain situations. I dunno. I feel. conflicted about it.

      Most of my gardening adventures have included a little help from a garden nursery, so I get what you’re doing. Eventually I’ve come to realize that occasionally I get things to grow so I repeat them. Because it works.

      Enjoy your trip. August is great if’n you aren’t sniffling and sneezing all month.

      Like

  68. Crikey… one day and I’m 194th comment on the list – IF someone else doesn’t squeeze in before I finish my usual short story 😉

    My nephew is on the spectrum and does not understand sarcasm. He will automatically say ‘no’ to any request until we explain just what we want from him (except when his cousin, my daughter, asked him for help moving. He not only said yes, he drafted his sibling and their partner!) Since Micheal is married, his wife has to know he is neurodivergent. That she freaks out over (as far as I’m concerned) a perfectly correct comment like he made on her shirt, she has to be someone neuro – something herself – ya know neuro-tic. Nice that this bot exists for exchanges outside of the marriage, though.

    I am absolutely IN LOVE with your garden! I am planning on xeriscaping my front yard to make it a lovely oasis to walk through (yes, Mr. Postman, you will be able to walk on flagstones instead of my poor awful grass). As my grass, sad as it is, grows in ugly patches, why not plant non-needing-to-be-mowed plants like creeping thyme? I also plan to have a mix of heights like you do and hope to attract bees and butterflies. There is this HORRIBLE house near my esthetician’s. The guy obviously does not like to mow and it looks like a lot you would find behind a garage… awful.

    So sorry you suffer allergies but you do manage to make us laugh about it. Please enjoy your time away from the fluff causing you to fluff. I have my beau coming up from August 14 to 20 so I’ll not be on the blogosphere, either. Not that I’ve been overly on it this past year, anyway. I’m hoping my mojo will come back, eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dale, that’s a sweet story about your nephew and your daughter. She must have the right vibe to get through to him directly. I agree with you about how Jennifer should be able to understand the positive intention behind Micheal’s [what I’d call harmless] comment to her. Neuro-tic seems like an apt description of her. Well said.

      I’ve read about and seen photos of xeriscaping. None around here, but if you could get that to do its thing you’d save yourself some mowing time. I planted some creeping thyme in a pot earlier this summer, but forgot to water it and it died. HOWEVER it was adorable while it lived.

      Enjoy your beau week. Isn’t he the guy who vacuums your carpets? Do I have that right? Regardless have some fun, you deserve it.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, Shane is always willing to help… IF he is given a moment to think about it 😉 It was a harmless comment. She needs to chill.

        There was a house not far from mine with a GORGEOUS xeriscape, spectacularly done. The lady sold her house and the new owners destroyed it and covered it with grass. I was flabbergasted.

        I’ve no carpets in the house but yes, he did pass the vacuum before we entertained 😉 We shall definitely have some fun. Even if I have to be on call in case – there are two ships in port but they don’t have a lot of tours so I should not be called upon but…

        Liked by 1 person

        • Wonder why the new people didn’t like the xeriscape? No accounting for taste, I’d say.

          Hope you don’t get called into work, but even if you do you’ll have fun the rest of the time.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I don’t know but the lady had created such a beautiful front yard.
            Wish I knew how to insert a photo here but I’ll find one and send it to you on Bluesky or something!

            Nah, I can do anything from home if needs be. All good!

            Liked by 1 person

  70. Your garden is lovely I hope you get some butterflies. Have you seen any caterpillars?
    I don’t have a flower garden since I live in an apartment building. We have a lot of trees, however.
    So far, I only have local plans. My niece might pop into town for her birthday in August.
    Hope you have a fabulous rest of the summer!

    Like

    • L. Marie, sadly I’ve not seen caterpillars which may not bode well for the butterflies, but I remain hopeful.

      Local plans for August count as doing something fun. Enjoy your time with your niece if she shows up. Seize ‘ya in September.

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  71. “Social cues escape her, strict habits keep her sane.” That’s me, on the autism spectrum. But I didn’t know that until I was 59 years old. I didn’t see anything wrong with what Michael said to Jennifer either.
    Your country-style garden looks very inviting to me. I bet the butterflies will come when the perennials get well established in the coming years, and when they catch wind of what the bees have discovered.
    Enjoy your break, if you can!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, I’m glad you recognize who you are on the scale, even if it wasn’t figured out when you were younger. I know I’ve read that while autism is often associated with males, females have it too— and are better at hiding it/adapting to it.

      I realize my crazy quilt garden will take a few years to get to its best, so I’m not fretting about no butterflies this year. But next year *dagnabbit* they better show up. 😉

      Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I’m going to let August unfold in front of me, come what may.

      Liked by 1 person

  72. Hey Ali,
    Totally get that blogging break when allergies get too much. I hope you can rest up and rejuvenate as needs be. I myself have been so demotivated in writing my blog, mainly due to illness over the past few months. Nothing serious, just annoying flu and colds and asthma that decreases my oxygen saturation meaning my brain doesn’t work. I have zero motivation and can only do the tasks that I really have to do.
    I do think we need to be able to step away and not feel compelled to blog when the motivation isn’t there.
    Your garden looks fantastic and your conversation about Ai interpreting conversations for Neurodivergents interesting. It makes me think about how I come across to people. If it makes anyone and everyone be more empathic and use less judgemental statements in conversations that is great.
    However, I worry that it also makes neurodivergents reliant on a bot to make sense of things rather than learning this for themselves. I am guilty of making similar statements (so could be as neurodivergent as you) that could come across as judgemental – What a unique shirt. Does the chatbot help a person be more empathic in their choice of words? Or would neurotypicals eventually pick up on these manufactured conversations knowing they are chatbot induced?
    Again, my worry with Ai is that we all become standardised – in our words and our communications – and we lose diversity in the process. How boring will society be if we all say the “correct” thing all the time?
    Happy blogging break! See you when you get back.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amanda, I’m sorry to read that you’ve been feeling poorly and lack motivation to do more than the basics. I kind of feel that way right now, too. Bummer.

      You nailed it, a thought I had too: Or would neurotypicals eventually pick up on these manufactured conversations knowing they are chatbot induced? I realize that the AI used by these chatbots is meant to help neurodivergent people learn to communicate in a way that is more ‘normal’ but I also think that at a certain point you gotta break free from it having learned all you need to know.

      I’m not enthusiastic about AI in any form so I’m dubious about it whenever I hear about some new way to use it. Maybe time will prove me wrong, but in the meantime I’m wary.

      Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I always adore seeing you here.

      Liked by 1 person

  73. I have lots of neurodivergent people in my life! I, too, don’t see the issue with what Michael said, and shouldn’t his wife know about his neurodivergent tendencies?! IDK.

    I don’t have anything exciting happening in August, wah. And it’s my least-favorite month, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stephany, I read the article twice trying to figure out why what Micheal said was upsetting for Jennifer, but never figured it out. Like you, I’d hope that she’d know that her husband who is neurodivergent was just being himself.

      A lot of commenters have said that August is their least fave month. Just something to get through so that we can get to more fun months.

      Like

  74. Your garden is beautiful! Calling a top ‘unique’ doesn’t sound insulting to me. I’m no AI chat bot, but I would guess that there is more to it and he often says things that hurt her feelings, so this was cumulative damage.

    Enjoy your time off!

    Liked by 1 person

    • J, I agree with you that there has to be reason why Micheal’s comment upset Jennifer beyond the word he used. Of course, the chatbot just takes things at face value which is why I’m wary of it and its ilk.

      The garden has been fun and for its first summer it’s doing well. I hope to make it crazier as the years go on.

      Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it. Seize ‘ya later.

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  75. I read the translator thing with interest because my husband is neurodivergent. And being married to him for 30+ years, I’ve learned a lot about how he communicates (or doesn’t) and other of his “quirks” that I have learned to accept. I can understand the various interpretations on unique, but OMG, he noticed she had on a new shirt and commented? That’s huge in my world! LOL.

    Love, love your crazy quilt garden. I had not heard that term, but it’s my approach as well….or will be again, next year. I was thinking about sketching some garden ideas this month … August here is a lot of indoor time. And am going to call it my Crazy Quilt Garden ideas.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pat, I know you’re right that for a neurodivergent person to notice something about your clothes can be a big deal— forget about what the person says about what you’re wearing. To me unique is a fine adjective but other commenters have explained why they dislike it. I believe them.

      Sketching some garden ideas is always a good idea! Getting some plans in mind, even if you don’t use them, is a great way to start. I bet your garden, when you get to it, will be imperfectly perfect.

      Like

    • Elizabeth, I reread the chatbot article twice and couldn’t figure why Jennifer was upset. I dunno. That conversation doesn’t seem like the best example of confusing communication. 🤷‍♀️

      Thanks for the compliment about the garden. It’s been fun to goof off in that space. And thanks for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  77. I’m late to the post so I hope you’re off enjoying your break and escaping the August-ness. That AI interpreter leaves a lot to be desired. Unique is one of those tricky adjectives for me — so much depends on tone, situation, and history, none of which can really come through in a quick question to AI. Plus since it’s designed for the ND and they’re typically asking the questions because the traits above are challenging for them. I’d say well intentioned but that interpreter has too many blind spots.

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    • Laura, found your comment and thanks for it. I’m checking in here every few days so that I don’t leave anyone hanging. I agree with your assessment of the AI chatbot. The idea that it can help a neurodivergent person have more meaningful conversations is okay, but this example doesn’t convince me that the chatbot has been programmed well enough to do that consistently. And if that is the case, I have to wonder how useful it is. However, if nothing else this topic has made for some interesting conversations about conversations!

      Liked by 1 person

  78. My thoughts as I was reading the example you shared about AI and Michael were that unless he used a snarky tone when he told his wife her shirt was “unique” it was in no way offensive. And, for Pete’s Sake, she understands he’s neurodivergent, right? Anyway, your butterfly garden is lovely. I’ve got one too, and it’s my favorite feature in our yard. Allergies in August? Not so lovely 😦 Will miss reading your engaging posts this month and hope your gal pals will help you not suffer too badly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rhonda, you’ve nailed it. I reread the article twice to try to understand how saying something was unique was a negative. I agree, his wife would know how to interpret his comment, better than the AI-assisted chatbot did. Go figure, huh?

      The garden is doing well, the allergies are here, but overall I’m content. It’s not like any of these sneezes are a surprise. Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. You know I love hearing from you.

      Liked by 1 person

  79. I hope you are enjoying your blogging break. I’ve decided that August apparently sucks everywhere. It’s it own special level hell here in the South due to the heat and humidity. When you throw in the ragweed pollen, it’s really a party!

    My oldest grandson is autistic. I’m glad to know there’s a chat bot that might help him. One of my previous coworkers is neurodivergent. She told me one time, “I don’t understand sarcasm.” She really didn’t. I occasionally had to translate someone’s sarcasm for her.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, August is just not my speed. I know what you mean about the heat and humidity + ragweed. And from what I can tell people in the Southern hemisphere aren’t keen on this month either. Meh!

      I knew that sarcasm could be one of those concepts that neurodivergent people don’t get. Interesting that you knew someone who told you that about herself. I’m sure you were good at translating sarcasm— it’s everywhere.

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  80. I recently had a conversation with a colleague about a challenging situation. I thought I was SO DIPLOMATIC, but he later sent a follow-up email thanking me for my candor. I suspect I am somewhere on the spectrum (and my best friend suspects as well), but I seem to get by in my life without a diagnosis. Interactions like this make me think that I’m the problem…

    Liked by 1 person

    • NGS, that’s fascinating. I understand what you’re saying: one person’s diplomacy is another person’s candor. I’m probably like you in similar situations. I think I’ve been tactful while other people think I’ve been too straightforward. I don’t mean to be overly direct but also don’t like to dilly-dally around in my conversations. We walk a fine line whenever we attempt to communicate. 🙄

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