In Which We Get New Outdoor Furniture & Ally Embraces Social Media, Part 1 of 2

May 10, 2016January 25, 2024 / Ally Bean / 36 Comments

{Sub-titled: Nothing Is Ever Easy, But Darn This Furniture Is Pretty}

SUNDAY, Day 1 – The Beans place an online order with a reputable catalog company for a wicker furniture set, consisting of 1 loveseat with cushions + 2 lounge chairs with cushions. They also order an ottoman with cushion.

TUESDAY, Day 3 – The happy duo receives a phone call from reputable catalog company, and agree that Ally will be home on Friday morning to take delivery of wicker furniture with cushions because someone must sign for these items.

WEDNESDAY, Day 4 – Ottoman with cushion is dumped on stoop by front door of home in late afternoon.

No one signs for anything.

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FRIDAY, Day 6 – Ally waits at home for wicker furniture with cushions to be delivered by third-party delivery service.

Truck Man shows up on time, but is confused by all the gibberish on the cartons:

factory-printed name of product different from reputable catalog company name for furniture;
arbitrary hand-written markings scribbled hither and yon; +
multiple official shipping labels.

Ally is also confused by this mess.

Together, over the course of an hour, Ally and Truck Man determine that 5 of her 6 cartons of wicker furniture with cushions are here.

Truck Man talks with Guy On Dock who admits that Carton 2 of 6, which contains cushions for one lounge chair, is sitting in front of him, and that it’ll be delivered to house that afternoon.

Ally must wait to sign for it.

SATURDAY, Day 7 – Ally, who waited but did not receive Carton 2 of 6, tells husband, Zen-Den, Esq., to call reputable catalog company. He does so and is told to expect Monday delivery of Carton 2 of 6.

MONDAY, Day 9 – Carton 2 of 6 does not arrive at house, although Ally is at home all day ready to sign for it.

TUESDAY, Day 10 – Z-D again calls reputable catalog company, and speaks with someone who says that on Wednesday Guy On Dock will call him back with a Carton 2 of 6 location update.

WEDNESDAY, Day 11 – Z-D doesn’t get a phone call, Carton 2 of 6 does not arrive at house, so Ally, tired of waiting around the house, takes matters into her own hands. Which is to say she uses social media to get some attention from reputable catalog company.

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What will happen next? Will Ally and Zen-Den get their last two cushions from reputable catalog company?

And if so, how will it happen?

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TUNE IN TOMORROW TO FIND OUT HERE ON:

AS THE ~~WORLD~~ BEAN TURNS.

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Ally, Ally, Quite Contrary…

May 5, 2016May 5, 2016 / Ally Bean / 44 Comments

How does your Spring garden grow?

Glad you asked. Here are few photos of the backyard.

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A maroon pansy, planted last fall, has returned and is looking pretty.

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The gray stone path on the hillside is happy to be the center of attention between salvia and boxwoods.

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A hosta and a catmint with tiny purple blooms stand side-by-side under the deck, thrilled with the wet + cool weather.

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The pachysandra patch directs your attention into the forest, which is amazingly green this Spring.

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And up on the deck, a potted orange gerbera daisy suggests that Summer is around the corner.

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, everyone.

Make it a good one.

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A 3-Question Pop Quiz On Guttering & Muttering

March 15, 2016March 15, 2016 / Ally Bean / 36 Comments

Q1: What is wrong with this picture?

A. Not a thing… did I ever mention my favorite artist is Salvador Dali?

B. How clever! You’ve built a sliding board for Fuzzy the Squirrel.

C. It looks like some more of the gutter has fallen off the back of your house… AGAIN.

D. What’s wrong with this?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

# # #

Q2: What caused this gutter to come undone?

A. I don’t understand the question… you know Dali painted some surreal works with absurd off-kilter angles just like this gutter.

B. A squirrel jumped up and down about a hundred thousand times on the gutter.

C. Ally Bean allowed herself to dream of buying a new laptop computer for herself, not because she needs one, but because she WANTS one.

D. What caused this to come undone?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

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Q3: What did Ally Bean mutter when she saw what had happened?

A. I imagine, like Salvador’s work, her words were a bizarre juxtaposition of pathos and profundity, of oddness and obviousness. A mélange of commonplace utterances and curse words.

B. Where is that damned squirrel!

C. Holy Fricking Mole-y! I gotta call Z-D, who is, of course, out-of-town on business, to tell him I’M. NOT. HAPPY.

D. What did she say?! Every stinking thing. The end of the world is nigh.

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“Useful” Was The Word Of The Weekend

March 8, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 42 Comments

:: I USED TO write about the various home redecorating projects we had going on around the house. Chez Bean was almost a character in and of itself in this blog.

But over the years, as every ding dang one of those projects dragged on, I stopped writing about them because who wants to read the ramblings of a whiner talking about first world problems?

:: HOWEVER, I’M THINKING that because this particular project seems to be going well, I’ll tell you, my gentle readers and fellow interior design aficionados, that we’re painting the walls in one of the guest bedrooms.

This is the bedroom in which we have a couple of upholstered chairs & a small little desktop computer area & a TV & some books shelves. Years ago Zen-Den the Literal began to refer to this space as the Un-Bedroom, and the name stuck.

:: SO WHAT COLOR are we painting the Un-Bedroom ~~this time~~?

The walls are now in the process of becoming Sherwin-Williams 7050 Useful Gray, which is a color I chose after reading about it here on THE COLLECTED Interior.

It’s a neutral, calm, warm gray color that Zen-Den, the person actually painting the walls, has announced is the best. color. ever.

I like it because it’s a color that both He Who Paints The Walls and She Who Makes Important Decorating Decisions can agree on.

Making it, I believe, most useful. 😉