M Is For Me

In Which I Politely Turn The Tables On The Holy Rollers

/ Ally Bean / 49 Comments

THE SETTING:

Late summer in a midwest suburb. Saturday afternoon. Beautiful clear blue sky with white clouds. Green lawn, well-tended. Leafy trees aplenty. Pink roses blooming along sidewalk up to front door. Daisies giving it their last hurrah near front door.

THE CAST:

Me, free spirit & lapsed Presbyterian

Holy Roller #1, Amy Winehouse wannabe, brandishing iPad

Holy Roller #2, Olivia Walton doppelgänger, carrying Bible

THE STORY:

When the doorbell rang I was sitting in our home study, which is on the first floor of the house, with the window open.  The women who had walked up the sidewalk could see me in the study, so I couldn’t hide from them.

I answered the door.  Reluctantly.

Amy said “hello.”  She introduced herself and her sidekick, Olivia.  They were from Jehovah’s Witnesses, dressed in black: Amy opting for the H&M cool vibe, Olivia going with the tried & true Salvation Army look.

Amy explained that they were bringing the word of God to the heathens people on my street, and could she ask me a question?

“Sure,” says I.

To which she said: “what gives you comfort?”

Without a moment’s hesitation I answered: “nature.”  Then I pointed out toward our front yard with flowers + trees– and the sky above.

My answer, immediate and honest as it was, stopped Amy.  She didn’t know what to say.

But Olivia, consummate holy roller professional, jumped right in and agreed with me: “Yes, God surrounds us all with His majesty.”

I nodded my head to show that we were on the same page here and smiled.

Nothing happened.  Neither one said a word to me.  They just stood there staring at me.

So I asked them: “Is this a poll?  Are there more questions?”

They chuckled and quickly assured me that: “Oh no.  This isn’t a poll.  There are no more questions.”

Thus giving me the opportunity to bring this unwanted conversation to a conclusion: “Well then, we’re finished here, aren’t we?  Thanks for stopping by and good luck with your mission.”

At which point I slowly shut the front door, leaving them confused by what had happened.

I mean, from their perspective they’d brought the word of God to a presumed heathen who had just got rid of them by turning the conversation around to where they admitted they had nothing more to say.

From my perspective, it was a conversation that would make Jesus and Emily Post proud.

Can I get a hallelujah?

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Anything Could Happen August: Taking A Break From Blogging

/ Ally Bean / 24 Comments

I don’t like August.

It’s too hot outside.  Too humid outside.  Too pollen-y.  And there’s not one holiday to celebrate during all 31 days of it.

It is boring.

So instead of straining my brain to have something to say here during a dull time of year, I’ve decided to take a break from blogging until September.

Why not do something different?

In other words, my gentle readers, I’ll be around the blogosphere from time-to-time, but I plan on spending most of my free time lollygagging and frittering my days away like a non-blogger.

Just to see how the other half lives.

Later, kids.  Catch you on the flip side.

March Is The Do-Over Month: Happy New Year 2.0

/ Ally Bean / 20 Comments

• I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE January and February are practice months.

It’s during these months that I flesh out how I’m going to do whatever lofty word I’ve chosen for my one word of the year [this year’s word here].  I make my mistakes in the cold of winter when no one will notice.

Or so I think.

• THEN ON MARCH 1, which happens to be today, I start all over again, relying on the wisdom I’ve gained through fiddle-farting my days away failure, marching toward being a better bean.

If you know what I mean.

• THIS IS HOW MY wack-a-doodle mind works, so when I found the following simple Workplace Thinking Style Graph [details here] that leads me to believe I am not alone in the way I do things, I was thrilled.

Coolness.  I love straightforward explanations.

Screen Shot 2016-02-06 at 7.34.32 AM• ACCORDING TO THIS CHART, I am an Optimizer.  That is because, no matter what I do, my focus is on process;  and, despite wanting to be less of a micro-manager, my orientation is on details.

This describes me perfectly.  [Read beginning of this post to confirm.]

So it is with this insight, as I move FORWARD into the rest of 2016, that I leave you, my gentle readers, today.  Later kids, I’ve got some New Years celebrating to do.  😉

Snow Is Falling, Books Are Calling

/ Ally Bean / 31 Comments

The snow has arrived.  It’s falling like salt drifting down from the sky.  Everything is covered in white, slightly sparkly.

Contented, I am enjoying the slow pace of Winter days.

Coinciding with the snow’s arrival is the end of mold and pollen, my archenemies.  My eyes are feeling less itchy, and combined with prescription eye drops, I know longer look like a drunk rabbit.  That is, my eyes aren’t pink & bloodshot, rimmed in red.

I’ll enjoy this itchy-eye respite for as long as it lasts, because I know that Spring weather will change everything.

# # #

In the meantime I’m going to start reading for pleasure.  I didn’t do much of that last year, for whatever reason.  But this year, as I move forward, I’ve decided that I’m going to make a point of reading for pleasure, and I’m going to do it with a plan.

I’m following Modern Mrs. Darcy’s 2016 Reading Challenge as my guide.  With one exception [“a book published this year”], I’m choosing my books from the piles of books that are strewn throughout our home.

To wit, my first book, which will satisfy the “a book you should have read in school” criteria, is: Footsteps in the Dark by Georgette Heyer.

# # #

This may seem like an unusual choice, but when I was in college here in the USA majoring in English, I did my study abroad at the University of Exeter in Devon, England.  My official independent research paper was on Agatha Christie’s Miss Marple series.

Georgette Heyer was a contemporary of Agatha Christie.  Back then I didn’t have the time to read any Heyer mysteries, being forced as I was to focus on Miss Marple, star of 12 novels + 20 short stories.

But now, in light of this challenge, and with all the time in the month of January to make it happen, I’m going to read a Georgette Heyer mystery.

Just because I can.