The One About The Friend, The Dog & The Suburban Grocery Store Salad Bar

March 25, 2014January 28, 2021 / Ally Bean / 14 Comments

Funny story. File this one under: “Things We Do For Our Pets.”

A former suburbanite, who has moved to a condo in a high-rise in the city, still works out this way, near where she used to live. Having shopped in a large, suburban grocery store for years, she cannot tolerate the smaller, more citified ones near her current home. So she continues to shop, either before work or at lunchtime, in her former suburban grocery store.

This woman, who we’ll call Wendy, has an old dog who she adores. And this dog has taken, sort of, to city living. Which is to say that when there are proper treats involved the old dog will do what is asked of him.

It follows, of course, that Wendy is conscientious about having a large supply of proper treats on hand. And because Wendy now shops on the fly, she likes to get as many treats for her money as she can at one time. Easier, you know.

# # #

So, here’s what happened. Wendy’s old dog likes one treat in particular and that one treat is bacon bits.

Wendy, who used to make bacon once a week for her dog, doesn’t like to make bacon in her new smaller condo because it smells up the place. So Wendy has hit upon a solution. This solution is to go to the salad bar in the grocery store and fill up one of those square clear plastic containers with the bacon bits that are on the salad bar.

It is less expensive by the pound to do this than to buy a package of raw bacon. And it is more efficient, from Wendy’s point of view, because she doesn’t have to cook the bacon. Plus her old dog loves these salad bar bacon bits.

# # #

Win. Win. Win. That is until the day that Wendy ran into her suburban grocery store and discovered that the store had removed all the bacon bits from the salad bar.

When Wendy inquired why the bacon bits were gone, an employee told her that some crazy lady kept coming in and buying a day’s worth of bacon bits all at once. And that the manager in charge of the salad bar couldn’t afford to keep the bacon bits stocked, so the manager decided to take away all. the. bacon. bits.

This sad turn of events, caused by Wendy herself, has left her bacon bit-less… somewhat ashamed of her behavior… and now shopping at the next nearest suburban grocery store to her place of work.

Because an old dog has gotta have his treats, ‘ya know? 😉

Fuzzy The Squirrel Finds A New Home In Tree #3479

March 11, 2014February 24, 2015 / Ally Bean / 13 Comments

{Subtitled: What the heck is that little bugger doing now?}

ONCE UPON A TIME…

The Lady of the Suburban House looked out her kitchen window while she was drinking her morning coffee. In a strange moment of self-awareness, she realized that she was not alone. What she saw was her frenemy, a squirrel, who last year she had named Fuzzy. [More about this squirrel here.]

Say “hello” to Fuzzy.

Watching Fuzzy frolic outside in the trees that form the forest that is The Lady of the Suburban House’s backyard, The Lady of the Suburban House realized that Fuzzy, who never seems to leave her property lines regardless of the weather, had found a home of his own in a large tree back there.

Look! It’s the front door to Fuzzy’s home.

Staring closely at this large tree, The Lady of the Suburban House noticed something that she had not noticed before. Perhaps she had not been caffeinated enough when she looked out the kitchen window previously. And this is what she saw: the large tree had a number on it.

Here is tree #3479.

The Lady of the Suburban House could not explain why this tree was numbered. It seemed peculiar to her, but then many things of late had seemed odd to The Lady of the Suburban House, so she shrugged.

This is Fuzzy’s tree.

And then she came to the only logical conclusion that one could come to: Fuzzy had put the number there on the large tree so that his friends and relatives would know where he lived in the forest, that is The Lady of the Suburban House’s backyard.

~ THE END ~

My Own Version Of Lady & The Tramp

February 18, 2014 / Ally Bean / 13 Comments

I almost feel bad about this.

I mean, it’s never my intention for my actions to cause any creature to get upset. I’m not one to stir the pot just for the heck of it. I’m one to glue the puzzle pieces together to make things whole.

However…

Our neighbor’s dog, who looks just like Lady from the Disney movie, Lady and the Tramp, is a pretty cocker spaniel with impeccable manners. She usually sits on her front sidewalk, watchful and quiet; or patrols up and down her driveway, checking out the suburban scene around her house.

With nary a woof-woof.

Sadly, she has not taken this extreme weather in stride. In fact, more than once this winter she has barked her displeasure with me as I trudge diagonally across our snow-covered front yard to get to our mailbox. Granted as I’m doing this I’m wearing a huge parka, hat and scarf, so maybe she thinks that I don’t belong over here.

That I’m a tramp of sorts.

All I know is that she makes it clear to me that she believes that I’m breaking decorum by not using our [currently ice-covered] concrete sidewalk and driveway. This makes her uneasy, I sense. Worried. And in need of telling everyone within a five block radius about my lack of good manners as evidenced by my tramping through the snow.

Who knew that this breed of dog could be so loud?

Photo Source: American Kennel Club

Of Blogs, Beans & Bears

January 24, 2014August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 16 Comments

All the cool kids are telling their stories about how & why they chose the names that they did for their blogs. Read this.

Naturally, I want to be a cool kid, too. So here’s my story of how this blog came to be named, The Spectacled Bean.

~ • ~

SHORT VERSION: I am nearsighted and wear eye glasses (aka spectacles) all the time. My blogging nom de plume is Ally Bean. Ergo, I am The Spectacled Bean.

LONG VERSION: I knew that I wanted to start a blog, but was dithering around about the whole thing. I kept thinking that if I could figure out the perfect name for a blog, then I’d do it.

Well, one sunny winter’s day Z-D & I went to the zoo. Many of the animals were at their best, loving the coldness. As a result of this, we stopped to watch some animals that until now I’d never paid much attention to.

One of said animals was the spectacled bear. He was moseying around his enclosure and looked rather dapper. Reading the information* about him I knew that he was just the sort of animal that had the right attitude.

I was smitten– and in a moment of divine inspiration I realized that by using a modified version of his name for my blog’s name, I could describe myself. Hence, this blog is called The Spectacled Bean.

~ • ~