A Look At Archetypes: Who Are Your Friends?

May 19, 2016May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 57 Comments

Laverne & Shirley: Back in the day one friend was all you needed! { Source }

This is something fun to think about.

I was listening to Sorta Awesome, a podcast I enjoy. The conversation topic of Episode 54 was how every woman needs a variety of friends in her life because each friend serves a different, but necessary, role in your life.

They were talking about archetypes, not specific names of people. This wasn’t gossip.

As the show went on I started thinking about who I need in my life. The women on the program believed they needed 10 friends, but I decided that at this point in my life I need 5 friends.

Call me a minimalist. Or an introvert.

Below you’ll find my list of the five friends who I need to keep me grateful, connected, grounded, hopeful, and happy.

[A digression. Yesterday in The Guardian I read an article: “Why don’t I have any friends?” Not surprisingly, there are a variety of answers to this question. I mention the article here, my gentle readers, for your general edification. Just saying. No disrespect intended.]

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The Biographer… is the friend who knows all the nuances + details of your life, meaning that any problem you take to her needs no background story because she knows it, she knows you, and she knows what you need to do.

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The Oprah Fan… is the friend who knows what’s on-trend, whether it be spiritual or sartorial, funny or frowned-upon, healthy or home-y, and she is willing to share her knowledge so you’ll be on-trend, too.

~ • ~

The Loyal Opposition… is the friend who, like you, pays attention to the events in the world, but often comes to a different conclusion about what’s going on and why it is happening.

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The Cheerleader… is the friend who is on your side, without any need for you to explain or justify, in-depth, what you are up to; she’s your own personal pep squad.

~ • ~

The Snarkologist… is the friend who makes me laugh out loud because she is unfiltered, truthful, and willing to skewer, in a most wonderful way, anything or anyone who deserves to be taken down a peg.

~ ~ • ~ ~

How about you, my gentle readers? Who are your friends?

March Is The Do-Over Month: Happy New Year 2.0

March 1, 2016March 1, 2016 / Ally Bean / 20 Comments

• I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE January and February are practice months.

It’s during these months that I flesh out how I’m going to do whatever lofty word I’ve chosen for my one word of the year [this year’s word here]. I make my mistakes in the cold of winter when no one will notice.

Or so I think.

• THEN ON MARCH 1, which happens to be today, I start all over again, relying on the wisdom I’ve gained through ~~fiddle-farting my days away~~ failure, marching toward being a better bean.

If you know what I mean.

• THIS IS HOW MY wack-a-doodle mind works, so when I found the following simple Workplace Thinking Style Graph [details here] that leads me to believe I am not alone in the way I do things, I was thrilled.

Coolness. I love straightforward explanations.

• ACCORDING TO THIS CHART, I am an Optimizer. That is because, no matter what I do, my focus is on process; and, despite wanting to be less of a micro-manager, my orientation is on details.

This describes me perfectly. [Read beginning of this post to confirm.]

So it is with this insight, as I move FORWARD into the rest of 2016, that I leave you, my gentle readers, today. Later kids, I’ve got some New Years celebrating to do. 😉

If We Were Having Coffee On This December Morning…

December 12, 2015August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 41 Comments

THE SETTING:

We’d be sitting in my dining room, marveling about how warm December is this year, wearing clothes in colors & styles that scream early autumn more than almost Christmas.

We’d be drinking oolong black tea, steeped in my blue teapot, served with milk and sugar, because while coffee is wonderful, occasionally everyone needs a cup of tea [and sympathy].

We’d be listening to an old Eric Clapton CD that I found in the glove box of Zen-Den’s SUV. Why? Because it’s Christmastime and Clapton is God. 😉

THE CONVERSATION:

√ We’d be chatting… about how this week, for the first time, at Susie Lindau‘s urging I watched Elf. Or more accurately, I watched the first half of Elf and decided that while the story is cute, there’s too much Will Ferrell in it for my taste. It’s not for me, but all of you other ~~wackos~~ people enjoy it. Please.

√ We’d be sharing… our latest accomplishments. I’d be saying that I’ve been sober for three months now. Considering how I started down this road by accident, I’m finding the experience enlightening. I’m not missing cocktails or wine AT ALL, although I wouldn’t mind a beer every so often. And maybe a shot of bourbon once in a great while. But overall I’ve come to realize that at this point in my life I don’t care about alcohol all that much. Who knew?

√ We’d be talking… about how Jon Stewart’s various appearances this week on late night TV [here and here] have brought attention to Congress’s indifference to extending the Zadroga Act, which, if reauthorized next week, will continue to give financial help to the 9/11 first responders. I’d mention that given my druthers I’d vote for Stewart for president because… SMART + HONEST– not to mention looking good with that graying beard.

√ We’d be discussing… whether this year we’ll be making a list of specific New Year’s Resolutions OR if we’ll go with a more general one word approach to self-improvement. Having tried both ways in the past, I’d tell you that, as an English major, my best successes have come from adopting one word as my theme for the year, thereby avoiding all ways to quantify my life– which for me only leads to defeat & despair. Keep it simple, keep it going, I say.

THE CONCLUSION:

We’d finish drinking our tea, notice the time, and realize that we both needed to get to certain stores on the other side of town before noon. So with a sigh that comes from being a responsible adult, we’d each get in our cars and go our own way.

But before we parted we’d hug and thank each other for the best gift there is, the gift of sincere undivided attention & conversation. Given to those people who make your heart happy and your life full. Like friends, followers, family & fans. In real life– and in the blogosphere, too.

• • •

Idea for this post came from Diana at Part-Time Monster.

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[Make your own plaids, checks &/or stripes, in any color combination, like those featured above, by using Patternizer. It’s free. It’s fun.]

New Year’s Resolution, Mid-Year Clarification Of Said

July 10, 2015February 11, 2016 / Ally Bean / 11 Comments

AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS…

Yes, I know that I declared 2015 to be the Year of the Recluse.

I know that I said that I’d not be doing things social. But sometimes, even an introvert such as myself, wants to do something with a friend or two.

So I’m a failure at following through with my New Year’s Resolution. Like you’re so good at doing in July that which you said that you’d do in January?

Hmmm? How are you doing with your resolutions?

# # #

To clarify, when I said that I’d be a recluse this year what I meant was that I was going to avoid reunions, anniversary/holiday dinners, birthday bashes– and having a Christmas party here at the house.

[That last one in particular.]

So when it comes to those sorts of things, I’m a recluse. But when it comes to other activities I’m kinda out there socializing all over the place this year.

Well, I’m always kinda out there, but you know what I mean!

…AND NOW BACK TO OUR SHOW