Confirming Your Worst Fear About FB

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The stock market certainly didn’t take kindly to Facebook.  I’m not entirely surprised.  In fact, I’m rather pleased to see that enough people in this world are aware enough to not waste their money on a company that uses other people’s information somehow to make money.

That being said I’ve spent a good part of the last couple days reading about/listening to friends & acquaintances talk about leaving FB now that we’re all learning more about FB’s business model.  And because I’ve left Facebook not once, but three times, I have become a voice on this topic.

Just call me a Facebook Rejection Early Adopter.

[FYI- I joined FB first in 2006.  I lasted a few weeks, decided there was nothing there & left– as did all my friends at the time.  Next, I joined FB again in 2009 because two friends, who I later realized were very lonely people, prodded me into trying it again.  I lasted 6 months before I decided that FB was too much of a time suck for me.  So I deleted my account again.  Again, I joined Facebook in 2011 when I decided to create a FB account for this blog.  I maintained the account for about 5 months, but realized that I was dividing my time between something of value (writing on the blog) & something of marginal value (interacting via FB).  Seeing the writing on the wall {pun intended} I closed that account.]

So here is the one thing that I really want to say today.  It is the one question that everyone I know who is still on Facebook wants answered.  It is, I believe, the real reason disgruntled Facebookians hesitate about deleting their accounts– because they know deep down they are not going to like the answer.   Which is…

Yes, once you leave Facebook you will find out for certain who is your real friend and who isn’t.  There will be no doubt about this because the real friends will stay in touch with you via non-FB ways while you will never hear from the faux friends again.

And some of the people who turn out to be faux friends will shock you.  Leaving you by yourself to wonder how you ever could have been fooled by them to begin with.

It’s not a pretty thing to find out– but as they say, the truth will set you free.  And free I am out here in the world detached from FB.

Facebook, Friends & Flow Charts

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about this week.  Brought to you by the letter “F.”

• Facebook.  I was talking with a casual acquaintance the other day.  Over the years we’ve gotten to know each other– sort of.  She is nothing if not outspoken.

Often we talk about FB.  It fascinates her that I just left it.  Like that.  No worries, no looking back.  It’s kind of a theme with her.

And honestly, I’m fascinated about why she doesn’t leave FB.  She hates it– complains about it every time we are together.  In fact one of her biggest complaints is that her friends have the audacity to post status updates using words. That they think she’ll read about what they’re doing.  This seems to bother her to no end.  She mentions it often.

So, I asked her straight up why she messes around with something that so clearly upsets her.

And she told me that the only reason she stays on FB is so that she can see the photos that her friends post.  She wants to see these photos so that she can judge how these friends look.  Her word: judge.

Being the polite soul that I am, I just nodded my head up & down, mumbled a vague sort of “uh-huh,” and quickly changed the topic of conversation to something that didn’t give me a glimpse into the psyche of someone so shallow– and probably– more typical than I care to admit.

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• Friends.  I stumbled upon this article: Bitter About Your Life? Blame Facebook.  The subtitle says: “New research suggests heavy Facebook users are more likely to believe other people have happier lives.”  

According to this article, researchers posit that this perception is due to the fact that people see all sorts of happy photos that FB friends post.  Then these people assume that other people are having a better time than they are.  Enter bitter feelings.

Wonder if that is what’s going on with my acquaintance… seeing how she is a nut for photos.

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• Flow charts.  While I was enjoying all that Pinterest has to offer, I came upon this wonderful How to Delete Half Your Facebook “Friends” flow chart.  It is by a blogger named Samantha who keeps a blog called ashore.

I love this chart.  Now I just need to get my acquaintance to understand it and use it.  Might make her happier about her experiences on FB.  Maybe.


Zen And The Art Of Blog Maintenance

~ Like a busy little bee I’ve been tweaking the spectacled bean these last few weeks. After three months of blogging I’ve made some decisions about what I’m going to write about and how I’m going to do it.  And why, of course.

~ I’ve deleted some posts and categories.  I decided that I will write what I want to write about, when I want to write about it– and not at the command of others. Seems obvious, I know, but perhaps I’m just a slow learner when it comes to putting a blog together.

~ I’ve added some tags and reworded some of my category names.  Now they more accurately reflect what I want to share with the world.  Not really very important to you, gentle readers, but this makes a big difference to me.  Keeps me focused.

~ I created a FB fan page for this blog.  I don’t know what I’m going to do with it. Maybe nothing.  But I figured that since one of my rules in life is to “maximize my options,” I’d better do that by creating a free, easy-to-set-up FB page.  [Link in the sidebar to the right.  No obligation to be a fan, btw.]  [Please note: FB fan page deleted 08.11.  No point to it.]

~ When I started this blog I thought that I’d try to have some sort of posting schedule.  I know that it’s easier for my readers when I’m consistent.  But here’s the thing: I didn’t always have something to say on the days of the week that I scheduled myself to post on.  So I’m going to allow myself to be random.  I figure that having something to say every once in a while is more important than saying nothing on a timely schedule.

~ I want to have more photos in this blog.  I’m in the process of organizing our digital photos;  eventually I hope to use many of them in this blog. Plus, I need to start taking more photos.  But right now I feel so overwhelmed by the afore-mentioned mess of photos, that I’m reluctant to take more photos– which will just add to the mess.

~ I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with this blog.  And if I’m honest, I have to say: nothing.  It seems like I should have loftier, more commercial goals for this sweet little bloggy.  Maybe someday I will.  But at the moment the spectacled bean is a hobby that keeps my brain alive, my heart engaged, and allows me to stay in touch with those who care about me and Zen-Den.  And that’s enough for me.