A Poem In Which We Once Again Talk About Fuzzy The Squirrel

November 24, 2015May 6, 2021 / Ally Bean / 27 Comments

The morning was beautiful, the sky was blue,

I glanced out the window for something to do.

Neighbor Kitty, most calm, asleep in the leaves,

While above him there plotted three sciurine thieves.

Their leader, a dickens, named Fuzzy by me,

Stared down upon Kitty, while perched in a tree.

I feared for them all should trouble arise,

But Kitty kept sleeping, there was no surprise.

The squirrels soon tired of barking at cat,

And decided to use the limb for a chat.

The photo you see makes it look oh so dreamlike,

But I swear to you here, it truly was scheme-like.

This post is now over, my rhyme will be ending,

But with Fuzzy’s approval, this poem I’m sending.

The Goofiness Of Girl Scouting & Catalogue Shopping Over The Years

November 17, 2015November 17, 2015 / Ally Bean / 30 Comments

• Never would I have figured out that I’ve lived a lie all these years if I hadn’t stumbled upon the mother lode of Girl Scout-ness, a website filled with images of all Girl Scout catalogs ever printed.

~ • ~

I’m torn about what to buy. I want the Middy and Bloomer outfit for when I jump rope, but am equally desirous of the Zip-On Suede Jacket which allows me to hold a squirrel on my arm. [Catalog 1931B]

~ • ~

• Perusing these catalogs I remembered that in my jewelry box I had my official Girl Scout membership card showing me to be a member of Heritage Trails Troop 239.

~ • ~

Although yellow has never been a flattering color on me, I’m taken with this apron, covered in proficiency badge designs, that would ensure I looked pretty as I worked around the house. [Catalog 1952S]

~ • ~

• My pin, the official jewelry of all Girl Scouts, was stolen when thieves burglarized our house when I was in sixth grade. However, the thieves left me my card. Jolly good of them, wasn’t it?

~ • ~

No problem deciding what I want in this catalog. I’ll take a reversible caper cap and a pair of flashes to keep my knee socks up. [Catalog 1973]

~ • ~

• Looking at my Certificate of Membership Card, I see that I never signed the thing, which clearly states: “Not valid without signature.” Obviously I’ve lived a falsehood when I say I was a Girl Scout.

~ • ~

Well, look at that, will ‘ya? I never signed my Girl Scout Certificate of Membership Card. Such a free spirit I am, even back then.

~ • ~

• The shame of not doing my best is almost too much for me, and confirms I don’t have the right to shop for any of the above items. Pity that. I just know I’d look fetching in that apron, while wearing flashes on my socks and a squirrel on my arm.

Of Wise Women, Broken Dishwashers & Lost Earrings

November 10, 2015November 11, 2015 / Ally Bean / 36 Comments

“You can put lipstick and earrings on a hog and call it Monique, but it’s still a pig.”

~Ann Richards, former governor of Texas and wise woman

HERE IS A TALE TOLD WITH A SINKFUL OF DIRTY DISHES…

About two years ago our dishwasher started leaking water and making odd sounds as it attempted to clean our dishes.

I was sad because even though I didn’t grow up with a dishwasher in the house, unless you consider me to have been the dishwasher, as a homeowner I have come to like dishwashers.

Dandy machines. When they work.

Being us, we ignored the dishwasher and rarely used it. But last year when a plumber was here for a different reason, we had him replace the leaky hose under the machine and the dripping stopped.

However, the noise within the dishwasher continued, and even got louder as the days went on. So we stopped using the dishwasher entirely and resorted to *gasp* washing dishes by hand.

[Oh the inhumanity of it all!]

Fast forward to last week when the appliance repair guy came to the house to fix the recently broken clothes dryer– and to take a look at our sad, almost useless, dishwasher while he was here.

Whereupon, after taking the dishwasher apart to the tune of $99.00, he found an earring in the dishwasher that had caused the motor to stop motoring smoothly– and subsequently ruined the motor.

Not so dandy.

As you, gentle readers, can readily understand from the above quote, I’ve now taken to calling the sad, officially broken, dishwasher: Monique.

She still looks good, and matches all the other appliances in our kitchen, which makes me happy because for the first time in my life our kitchen, remodeled seven years ago, has had the same brand and style of appliances in it.

Pretty, pretty.

But Monique is a useless trophy appliance now. So, with a heavy heart, but a practical mind, we’re going to buy a new dishwasher.

Which I shall love, regardless of how she looks. And promise that I will, to the best of my ability, keep earrings away from her.

Meaning the only question left is: what shall we name her?

As Pumpkins As My Witness, I’ll Never Be Cluttered Again

November 2, 2015October 25, 2016 / Ally Bean / 25 Comments

• • •

Good Morning!

I’m pulling together a post today, the first full day of Daylight Savings Time, by using this delightful Halloween photo, taken yesterday, and by re-wording a famous quote.

After all, what is a blog but a place to let your freak flag fly?

Especially on a Monday morning after a lazy Sunday in which I never got out of my jammies, but did manage to photograph our jack-o-lanterns.

Oh happy day!

• • •

But now that it’s Monday morning I’m feeling the need to accomplish something.

The muse of productivity, and my inner Katie Scarlett O’Hara, are telling me to apply myself to what is directly in front of me, take control of the situation, and get on with life.

That is, in a word, DECLUTTER.

Meaning that today I’ll be putting things away in the places where they belong. Sorting through piles of magazines + catalogues + recipes. Reviewing and filing important scribbled notes for future decorating and writing projects.

• • •

So with a hat tip to GWTW I’ve begun to chant to myself: “they’re not going to lick me. I’m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I’ll never be disorganized again.”

To me, this chant seems motivational. To you, it might seem nuts, but if I end up with a tidy house and know where things are, who’ll be laughing then?

Hmmm?!

• • •

[ALSO: I know how you people think. So let me say right here that if you, gentle readers, go all Rhett Butler and say you don’t give a damn, I wouldn’t believe you.

Why? Because if you’ve read this far down you do care about me! So say something nice. I need all the encouragement I can get and it’ll be good karma for you.]