I’m Just Saying

I’m Going Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

/ Ally Bean / 15 Comments

•  To review, on Friday I presented you, my gentle readers, with 5 Truths & 1 Lie.  Since then many of you have hazarded a guess about which of my statements is the lie.

Also, many of you have suggested that I’m a good liar.  I’m still processing that idea.  I don’t know whether you say it to flatter my ego;  or to cover your butt if you pick the wrong statement as the lie.

•  Be that as it may, the lie I told was:

“4.  I DRIVE a gray SUV.  I named him Bullwinkle because of his color [which Lexus says is blue, but they’re wrong].  He’s not a new vehicle,  but he gets me where I need to go.”

This is a lie because I DRIVE A WHITE V-6 HONDA ACCORD COUPE.  Named Olivia. Rather old.  She has a snazzy decklid spoiler and sports leather seats with wood paneling stuff inside the car.  Plus she gets fabulous gas mileage.

Yep, that’s the way I live.  I’m more Nancy Drew in her little blue roadster than Shirley Partridge in her funky van.

•  All of which brings me to the only reason, I suspect, that any of you are still reading this post.  Thanks to all who took the time to comment, but the few gentle readers who guessed correctly are:

•  And now I will leave it up to the winners to tell me if they prefer to be a guest poster here OR have me write a haiku about you that I’ll post here.  The choice is yours.  I await your decisions.

What Is The World Coming To When A Phone Call As Good As This One Isn’t A Prank?

/ Ally Bean / 12 Comments

My cell phone rang earlier this morning.  I didn’t recognize the number, but could identify the area code.  It was the area code of an out-of-town friend that Z-D was meeting for an early breakfast.

Thinking that the call might be from that friend who was lost or something, I answered my phone.  This is unusual because I rarely respond to a number that I don’t know.  However, this time I did and the conversation went something like this:

• • •

Male voice:  Hello! I’m looking for John.

Me, realizing that this wasn’t our friend:  I’m sorry but there is no John here.

*sound of me laughing out loud at what I’d heard myself say*

Male voice:  What?  What did you say?

Me, figuring that this was a fun phone prank:  There. is. no. John. here.

*sound of me giggling because I’m so mature and all*

Male voice:  Oh… I’m sorry to have bothered you, ma’am.  I guess I have the wrong number.  Good-bye.

Me, sadly deflated that this hadn’t been a prank call:  No problem.  Good-bye.

*sound of me sighing that such a good set-up had gone for naught*

• • •

Kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?  Is anybody listening to what they’re saying?  It’s such a pity to waste a good *guffaw* when you stumble over one.  Yet that poor man on the phone– so serious.

Existential Suburban Angst: Deciding What Color Armchairs To Buy For The TV Room

/ Ally Bean / 18 Comments

My mind is a swimming mess of colors now.  Pity that this isn’t because of a Reiki session;  then I’d be all mellow with the colors in my mind.

Grooving on the Infinite.

Instead, the reality is that we have finally gotten to the point of deciding on new armchairs for the TV room.  Thus I have fabric swatches from Pottery Barn positioned all over the TV room.

As one does in these situations.

I have some swatches pinned to the drapes.  I have some swatches sitting on the floor next to the rug.  I  have some swatches stuck to the back of a kitchen chair placed in the TV room so that I can see what the colors look like from afar.  In other words, I’m looking at color in all its fabulousity from every angle possible because I know how easy it is to pick the wrong shade.

Been there.  Done that.  Many, many times. 

To add to this dilemma, we already have all the walls painted and the sofa purchased [called ocean blue, but I’d call it more blue-gray] and an antique rug in place [basically maroon/ruby-red, navy/blue-gray, gold/tan with bits of peach and aqua].  All of which means that these chairs have to fit within a rather complex color scheme dictated by an old faded rug.

Charming? Yes.  Difficult for me to do? You betcha.

So that’s what is going on around here this afternoon.  And will probably be haunting my dreams this evening.  And plaguing my brain for the next few weeks because decisions like this one come slowly to me.  But when I finally figure out this conundrum, all major decorating decisions in this house will be a thing of the past.

And won’t that be an exciting day for all concerned?!

In Case You’ve Been Wondering Whether Or Not I’m A Sociopath

/ Ally Bean / 17 Comments

Going through my files I discovered the following.

Screen Shot 2013-07-11 at 1.39.53 PM

Here is The Sociopath Test that I took to determine that I am a functional member of society.

~ • ~

It’s easy to make light of a test like the funny one mentioned above, but answering the questions gave me insight into what behaviors to look for when I think that I dealing with a sociopath.  They are those tedious people who only care about themselves and disregard anything you have to say.  Antisocial behavior? Yes.  No guilt about manipulating others?  Yes.  Rude, except when they want something?  You betcha.

~ • ~

According to the Mayo Clinic where sociopathy is a type of antisocial personality disorder:

“Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental condition in which a person’s ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional — and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others.”  [More here.]

~ • ~

To my knowledge I don’t have any sociopaths running around in my life now.  Not to say that there haven’t been a few of them along the way– just that I gave them the boot and they are no longer invited into my happy world.

In my experience, once someone with a tendency toward this sort of anti-social, user personality knows that I will call them out on their crap, they disappear forever because the last thing they want is for someone to shine light on them.  Of course, I may have only dealt with slightly anti-social sociopaths, so my approach might not work with the really whacked, threatening ones.  Don’t know what I’d do then.

~ • ~

So, my gentle readers, what do you know about sociopaths?  Are there any in your lives?  Are you, heaven forbid, one of them?  

And most importantly, what do you do when you find yourself sitting across the table from one?  Avoid interaction OR destroy on the spot?