I’ve Looked At Blogs From Both Sides Now

A few weeks ago I wrote about having been around the blogosphere for nine years.  As I said then, I’ve seen and experienced many good things during my blogging career.  But as you can imagine there have been weird things that have happened to me, also.   

So, in the interest of full disclosure, and as I have nothing else I really want to talk about today, I thought that I’d share some of the less-than-friendly experiences I’ve had while blogging. 

Life ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, now is it?

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 1.  Years ago a woman with a public blog asked me to remove her blog from my blogroll because she did not know me in real life.  She told me that she only allowed people who she knew in real life to put her blog on their blogroll.  I did as she asked and sent her an email apologizing for any distress my connection might have caused her.

To this day I have to wonder how she’s doing at keeping strangers from connecting with her.  If you don’t want people to take an interest in your life, then don’t keep a public blog.  Seems logical to me, but then I’m a pragmatic person, so what do I know?

Kind of trippy, that one.

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2.  I’ve always included some photos in my blogs.  At one point someone liked my photos so much that he or she set up a Flickr account using a version of my name.  Then he or she stole some of my photos off my blog, and placed them in this account.  Under my name.

This was one of those “to what end?” experiences.  I was given credit for my work– which was good.  The account was public– which was good.  However, I never determined why someone would do this.  Was it supposed to be flattery?  I don’t know.  It was harmless, but really?

Just a little too weird, if you ask me.

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3.  As many of you know, I like to leave comments on other people’s blogs.  I only comment if I have something to add to the conversation.  Never anything rude or disruptive.  So one day I read a post, complete with a photo, that spoke to me.  Consequently, I left a short heartfelt comment based on experiences in my life.

I returned to the blog a few days later to see if this blogger had responded to my comment, only to find that she had taken down the photo that had sparked my comment.  And that she had deleted my kind, non-confrontational, positive comment.  I was shocked at first.  But then it slowly dawned on me that this woman was a diva and she might have felt that my comment upstaged her [?], so she got rid of the photo– and me.

Flip city, huh?

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So, tell me, what weirdnesses have you experienced while using social media?  I know everyone has a story to tell– and what better place and time than here and now?  

Hmmm?  ‘Fess up.

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted most days.

25 thoughts on “I’ve Looked At Blogs From Both Sides Now”

  1. Oh my word! Really? That first one is just too strange. Why would you not want to connect with others via a public blog, it just makes no sense. That tactic is certain to keep people away. I once read a tweet from someone who had just had a baby and was feeling down. I’ve no experience of that but I offered support and made a couple of well meant suggestions and thought no more of it. It was someone I’d tweeted with a few times and I’d subscribed to her blog. The next post I got from her blog was a piece about how vulnerable she was feeling and how it hadn’t been helped by someone on Twitter who’d been very insensitive and had just made things worse for her (i forget the exact wording now). I tweeted to say I hope that wasn’t me, got a very non committal tweet back, so I tweeted back, really if it was me, I didn’t mean any offence, I was being supportive etc etc and I got back no, REALLY, it’s OK, HONESTLY! Which makes me think it probably wasn’t. I know she was vulnerable, but goodness, I don’t think I’m that offensive. That one was very strange too. Still don’t know what to make of it, but I don’t tweet her and don’t get her blog anymore. I don’t want to have to tread on eggshells all the time, and I thought I was being helpful, supportive and sincere. Bizarre world, the internet.

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    1. Polly, I know. My first example happened probably 7 years ago, but I still think about it from time-to-time!

      I can see why you steer clear of this Twitter/blog woman. I find that when my attempts at connection are misinterpreted, I try once to explain myself– and then I walk away from the situation.

      It is one of the downfalls of social media; in real life my tone of voice + body language would make my message clearer, but here on the web words are all I have. And no amount of saying that I didn’t mean anything by it, will convince someone that I am sincere. *sigh*

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  2. Wow, so those are some things I have to look forward to then?
    I’m at day 25 blogging. Yesterday I received an email (so not public which is nice) That critiqued one of my posts.
    The critique was on my post 3 things that Poetry is not.
    At the end of my post I state “but then again I don’t even know what a poem is”.
    So I was a little surprised that this piece of all pieces would get critiqued.
    Yesterday I thought ok here we go. I’m all up for criticism but not on my musings. They are my personal thoughts…. so after reading this I realize I better assemble an ‘army’ and some thick skin!
    Thanks for sharing.
    Cheers,
    Jennifer

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    1. Jennifer, for the most part everyone I’ve met along the way has been wonderful. Those who disagree with what I’ve said have been respectful and those who agree with what I’ve said have been upbeat. But there have been a few odd experiences which, for some reason, I’ve been thinking about lately.

      Thanks for taking the time to stop by here and leave a comment. And good luck with your blogging. You’re going to love it!

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  3. I don’t have a personal experience that rivals you or your commenters but there is a blogger I follow faithfully. She is a published author and very interesting. Her posts are about her life and have a snarky, funny twist that I find hilarious. Well, yesterday, someone put not 1 but 2 scathing comments on her blog that were really nasty. They were very personal. They were so far over the line that I wanted to rip his throat out. I wanted to go back today to see if see took them down. If you don’t like a blog, don’t read it!

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    1. kate, AMEN! I agree wholeheartedly: “If you don’t like a blog, don’t read it!” Only trolls hang around somewhere that they hate just for the opportunity to cause trouble. I’ve had a few of them over the years, but I refuse to give a troll the time of day here on my sweet little bloggy. So I did not mention them.

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  4. My first blog was named after my dog -his name and breed – and when I go back and read it now, I seem to have been over-occupied with hairspray, Thanksgiving recipes and analysis of Ethel Mertz’ wardrobe. Nevertheless, that mild content was enough to spark the most vile letter I’ve ever received. It started out with sadness that I was besmirching the name of a wonderful breed, then moved to some very colorful cursing and finally threats. I still think about the person who wrote that.

    Over the years, I’ve gotten much more focused and specific hate mail. I usually alter the content to make the writer look like an idiot and then publish it. The last guy who wrote me a vile insult later sent me an invitation to join him on LInkedIn.

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    1. I’m sorry to say that I’m not surprised that your mild content got such a vile letter. I wish that I could register shock about it, but at this point in my life I’ve encountered way too many whack jobs to be surprised.

      That being said, I find it most peculiar that someone who wrote you an insulting letter, would want to be linked to you– anywhere. Now that does not compute.

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  5. Holy crap. That stuff is just goofy. Every once in a while, I look at my stats and see what search terms led people to my blog. Lately, a creepy one has been cropping up: “Nance sex.” I don’t want to know….

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    1. nance, it really is goofy behavior. I’m sure that lots more things have happened along the way, but those three weirdnesses stand out. As for your latest search term… I’m with you: ignorance is bliss.

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  6. I’ve mostly had good experiences. When I started blogging, it was on LiveJournal and that was a little more like um, uh, well FaceBook, kind of. More personal comments and people getting upset. But not exactly crazy like the things that have happened to you. I’ve had people argue with me about opinions once in a while and I learned to clarify and move on and then, not to write about those kinds of opinions because that sort of controversy is just not my thing.

    I did have a woman follow me from Dooce, back when I would occasionally comment on that kind of very public blog, and her crazy, attacking comment is the only comment I have ever deleted from my blog. It is the comment that led to the line in my comment disclaimer that states, “I reserve the right to remove comments that are rude or offensive.”

    The Flckr thing is just weird. I have had a photo lifted once in a while from my recipe blog, sometimes with credit, sometimes not – but since I’m not trying to make a living from the thing I decided to consider that a compliment.

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    1. Zazzy, I’ve had people disagree with me, too. And that’s not a big deal as long as the comment is about my logic, facts– and not a personal attack. Like you, controversy is not my thing. And like you, I’ll remove any comment that I deem rude or offensive. My blog, my rules.

      As for the Flickr thing, I just don’t know. The account was there for a number of years, but then disappeared so whoever set it up got bored with me, I think. *yeah*

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  7. All of the above are very weird…It’s funny! One time I tried to leave a thoughtful and positive comment the person took it the complete opposite way. Sometimes I feel like you just cannot win.

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    1. belle, I think that you’re right. Some people want to be outraged.

      I’ve been in that situation where I’m agreeing with someone, yet they take my comment as a challenge. Like I said above, I make one attempt to explain & if that doesn’t work, I move on.

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  8. Wow – you’ve had some really interesting experiences! Even though I’ve been blogging off and on again for about 2 years (which reminds me, I need to get myself in gear already!), I haven’t had anything remotely “interesting” happen. Really just some good interactions with some good people. One thing I do find strange though, is people who are on Twitter (a public forum), who more or less only Twitter to their own circle of design blog friends. They are clearly not interested in anyone else’s opinion, no matter how relevant a comment might be. It’s like they’ve created their own not-so-secret club that none of us can join. My thought is always, then why have a public Twitter account?? 🙂

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    1. Kristen, I’ve experienced the same phenomenon on Twitter. I wonder about that behavior, too. Seems very high school to me. People can be sooo weird [translated to mean: insecure], can’t they?

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  9. I can’t rival any of those. But then I don’t have a public blog. Supposedly it can’t be googled and I never link to it on FB. I know that I have lots of lurkers because sometimes they have sent me personal e-mails, but always supportive ones. I’ve never had to remove a comment or even gotten offended by one. I guess I’m BORING. 🙂

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    1. Margaret, I have lots of lurkers, too. They don’t say a thing, but will sometimes hit the LIKE button on a post I write. The only ppl who send me an email are the ones who want to sell me something.

      I always thought that I was boring, but maybe my style of boring bugs people! Who knows why people do what they do? … but it is a kind of fun topic to discuss.

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    1. winesomebella, yes I do! Perspective, balance, detachment… all good things when keeping a blog. But, I suspect, that for some ppl, social media is all that they’ve got so they micromanage it like helicopter parents.

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    1. la p, yes you have been fortunate. I only listed the most interesting less-than-friendly interactions here. There have been some other weirdnesses which were more annoying than strange. And I’ve had trolls, of course. But that’s a different type of behavior completely.

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