When The Writing Is Not Easy Because You Care Too Much

“You may tell a tale that takes up residence in someone’s soul, becomes their blood and self and purpose. That tale will move them and drive them and who knows what they might do because of it, because of your words. That is your role, your gift.”

~ Erin Morgenstern, Night Circus

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Bloggers often talk about burnout, being unable to think of something to write about.  But for me, this week, has been something different from that.

My brain has been in 5th gear all week, going way too fast.

I’ve thought of many things to say here– and even gone so far as to compose a few posts.  In fact, I’ve written three lengthy ones that when completed I decided didn’t have the right subject matter or tone for this blog.

So I deleted them.

This has left me feeling mildly panicked about who I am and what to post here today.  Odd isn’t it?  Too much thinking, too much caring and I end up here today with nothing to say– as if I was burned out.

THE LESSON: Some weeks all roads lead to nothing.  And that’s okay.   

• • •

Screen Shot 2014-09-06 at 8.31.18 AM

{ Source: Dilbert by Scott Adams }

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Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted most days.

22 thoughts on “When The Writing Is Not Easy Because You Care Too Much”

  1. You deleted them? Hopefully just from your blog but kept them in your docs somewhere. I often start with an idea but the words take me somewhere else and at the end, I don’t like where I’ve gone. I let them simmer. Sometimes I can come back and reroute them or add globs of humor (after all I am a humor blog — you don’t read me for political perspectives!) and I can recycle. Of course, there are always those that…….just sit there. I think of that as therapy.

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    1. kate, I do the same thing that you do. I deleted the posts from my drafts here on my blog. I keep my ideas for posts somewhere else, so I returned the ideas to that file. Should I ever find a way to make those ideas funny or insightful or informative, I’ll re-write what I did this week. But until then, I have nothing to say about those ideas here.

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  2. I am now actually quite curious what sort of posts you wrote but opted not to post here.

    I think that I don’t have as much of a sense of the tone of my blog. I am all over the place! I do shy away from posts that reveal too much information about my family, or stories that don’t feel like they are mine to tell. I’m going to have to think about whether there are other topics that I have avoided. Maybe there are…

    I’m glad that you wrote out your thoughts, and also that you did not delete them entirely!

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    1. alejna, I’m glad that I wrote down everything, too. But it took me hours to do so & then this morning I realized that none of it was what I wanted to say here.

      To assuage your curiosity here is what I deleted & why:

      1) interconnectedness of world as evidenced by word searches here on my blog – too academic;

      2) 7th grade spelling test memories – too boring; and

      3) FB described using pot luck analogy – too snarky.

      Those ideas didn’t make the cut this week, but who knows? They could return again!

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      1. I think I might enjoy any of those! (Too academic? I don’t understand the concept! Let me refer you to a study that shows the value of…never mind.) (On the other hand, I do understand the avoidance of snarkiness–I have a post or two in my own archives where I was snarky and then wasn’t comfortable about it either. But your pot luck analogy sounds fun!)

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        1. alejna, I just KNEW that you’d like the academic topic. I have to watch myself so that I don’t get too pedantic here. No need for that!

          And as for my snarky FB analogy, haven’t we all made fun of that social media enough already?!! I just couldn’t add more on that topic.

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  3. I’ve always thought that you wrote so beautifully. I respect anything that you put on here. So many things are very thought provoking and promote great conversation. I do understand your dilemma, though. There are many times that I have painter’s block. I have to see something that really strikes my fancy. And I still really don’t know what my style is. So I guess we just need to keep plodding along.

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    1. Beth, thanks for your support. I like writing, so I don’t think that what I deleted was done in vain. But like you said, things have to strike your fancy before moving forward with them. And sometimes what I write doesn’t seem right to me, for whatever reason. So I plod along, hoping to stumble upon something right.

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  4. I’ve had some of that lately – things that I’m passionate about but don’t have a real place on my blog, even as eclectic as it is. Things like domestic violence in sports. Or things that I just can’t tell the same story again, like trying to celebrate dad’s birthday. I think you have a better sense of the voice of your blog than almost anyone I read. Have to admit that I’m curious about what you deleted. I think it would be interesting to learn about different parts of you than what you usually present.

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    1. Zazzy, it’s weird, isn’t it? Some posts that I write sound like me, whoever she is. But other posts sound too off-center to who I am here in this blog.

      [As for what I deleted, look up in the comments under alejna’s comment. I answered up there, while you were writing this comment down here.]

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  5. Did you delete them or just tuck them away for later? I always write mine on a Word document first. That way if I don’t post them, I have them for later should I decide they might work out after all. Regardless, just the process of writing them can be helpful.

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    1. Carrie, I kept the good parts of each post and filed them away for later… maybe. I agree that writing out what I was thinking about was good for me. But I tell you, my mind has been in overdrive this week. Fall really is my time of year!

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  6. I like reading whatever you post because I like the “feel” of Ally Bean. Sometimes I think we worry too much about *what* we’re saying when people just want to feel our spirit. Just my thought this late Thursday afternoon!

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    1. Kathy, you raise an excellent point that I’d not thought of before. Every blogger who I like has a certain spirit to his or her blog– and that’s part of the reason why I visit them. Smart thinking, my dear.

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  7. I have LOTS of drafts in my draft folder that haven’t felt like the “right write” at the time. Some will eventually see the light of day. Others won’t.

    I think that Dilbert strip is PERFECT for this post.

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  8. Thinking or overthinking? 😉 I put mostly everything out there, although I don’t always feel organized enough in my thought processes to blog. So, I wait until I am compelled to GET IT ALL OUT. Unfortunately, it creates the impression that I am way more negative about life than I actually am. Venting is great for me, but I do need to balance it with all the wonderful things in my life.

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    1. Margaret, I believe that every blogger has his or her own way of deciding what to post.

      For me, I write posts, refine the writing, then sit back and take a disinterested glance at what I wrote. If it seems like my post would add value to the world, I post it. If my post fails to catch my interest when I glance at it, I delete [or delay] it.

      I’ve always worked like this from day one of blogging. Don’t know why I do it like this, but it’s my process and it seems natural to me… even if sometimes I end up with nothing to say!

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