In Which The Beans Disagree Over The Value Of Texts Announcing Emails

Not seeing eye to eye, but that’s okay.

• • •

To be clear this is NOT a strong opinion tightly held situation.

It’s just that Zen-Den and I disagree over something.  Nothing large, a quiet disagreement.  In fact it might be best described as a puny opinion half-heartedly held situation, but one that does lend itself to consideration and conversation.

Never would I have thought to write about it here except that I’m reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle and in her memoir she talks about that which we disagree on, i.e., the value of texts prompting you to do something now.

In fact if you’ve read what she has written about texting you know that she says: “Texts are not the boss of me, and neither is anybody who texts me.” She is not a fan of them, in general– allowing for a few specific situations in which they are good.

• • •

Getting to our particular disagreement.

Zen-Den, Esq, finds it mildly annoying when someone texts [or worse yet phones] him to say that this someone has sent Z-D an email that they want him to read.  Z-D considers that to be a remnant of old-school business practices left over from when everyone used snail mail and wanted you to know that the document was in the mail.

It is totally unnecessary in today’s electronic world. He thinks of it as weak sauce [my term for his thoughts].

I, on the other hand, like it when someone sends me a short text [no phone calls please] to alert me to the fact that this someone has sent me an email they would like me to read soon.  I consider it a polite heads-up to Ms. Bean, a woman known for forgetting to check her email accounts regularly.

It is not necessary but a good precaution if you want me to read your email on a timely basis.  I call it an act of random kindness.

• • •

So what do you think, my gentle readers?  

Do you like to know when someone has sent you an email? OR do you prefer to find them when you find them?

When receiving a text message about an email that’s been sent to you, does the context, business or personal, influence your answer to the first question?   

Also, do you consider text messages to be bossy? OR do you consider them to be like a polite wave from a neighbor across the street?

Please discuss in the comments below.

• • •

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Humorous. Adaptable. Charmingly cynical. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted by choice. Fond of words.

195 thoughts on “In Which The Beans Disagree Over The Value Of Texts Announcing Emails”

  1. Many mixed opinions on Glennon Doyle‘s opinions. Yet, I believe phone calls are not the boss of me. Emails, depending on who and level of importance (such as Ally’s blog post now published) 😊And, texts are usually something recent with a family member or good friend. Now, the text to advise of an email…….hmmmm, very rare.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Erica/Erika, yes, I agree with you about Glennon Doyle’s opinions on anything… but that’s a discussion for a different post.

      I don’t respond to phone calls and like you said, they are not the boss of me either. Emails are definitely ranked in importance once I get around to reading them, but I do keep a number of email accounts so that helps me know ahead of time which account takes priority.

      Interesting about how you don’t get texts to advise of an email. Z-D & I both get them from time-to-time. Hence, this conversation.

      Liked by 3 people

  2. I have a current client who has a tendency to get into “email jail” where they cannot keep up with the volume of emails, so they don’t read them. I frequently have to send texts with a heads up so we can continue to move forward on a critical task. So, for me they are a necessary evil! On a personal note, it doesn’t bother me when I receive these texts because of what I described above :-).

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Pam, I appreciate that someone has taken the time to know me well enough to know that he or she needs to give me a text nudge. It seems friendly– and considering it doesn’t cost much [anything?] to send a text I’m for the practice. But I’m creative, while Z-D is more structured so he sees this practice as redundant.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I would cut off the hand of the person who sent a text to tell me there’s an email waiting. But, I also get alerts on my phone when there’s an email, and I have separate email accounts for different things, so I don’t lose something important. And I am very mixed about Doyle’s book…some things I loved, some I hated, and I have many mixed feelings from her…almost she who doth protest too much sort of vibe…

    Liked by 4 people

    1. LA, good gracious! I don’t do any alerts on my cell phone so getting a text nudge about a waiting email is good by me. I, too, have a few email accounts that I use for various things, so depending on where the email is hiding it influences how quickly I’ll get to it.

      Same about Doyle. All of what you said. She leaves me cold… to use one of her ways to determine if she’s onboard with a person. 🤨

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I have one account for personal friends…i don’t give it out for anything other than friends. Makes it easy to know who needs to be responded to quickly. I try to set up “email” time so I don’t go down the internet rabbit hole. If so,etching goes to a certain account it shouldn’t be earth shattering… and Doyle…yeah….

        Liked by 3 people

  4. I think it’s redundant, because both text and email are on my phone. I generally check them after getting an alert. But not everyone is me.

    My biggest peeve is when people text me (or email) with a question I have already answered in an email. When I told one white male this, he said, “Well, I get 300 emails a day, I can’t check them all.”

    Which is his way, of course, of saying 1) I am SO IMPORTANT, and 2) My time is more valuable than yours and I can’t be bothered to take the time and find the answer myself.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. AutumnAshbough, I don’t keep my email on my phone so a text nudge gets me to go find the email on my desktop computer. I’d be irritated too if you answer a question then your answer email is ignored or marginalized. Bad manners that is.

      Of course, I’m forever amazed by the arrogance of mediocre white males who don’t have the time to do anything well. They’re the bane of my existence. Always have been

      Liked by 3 people

  5. I like texts – any kind of text really. It is a good way for me to keep in touch with people I have not been able to visit for quite a while. I am happy when I get a text as I know others are thinking of me and reaching out to say hi or send an emoji heart! Emails are great too but texts are faster. And texts about emails wouldn’t bother me at all. You can tell I am retired and lacking visitors during COVID!

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Ellen D, I feel the exact same way has you do about texts and keeping in touch with people. I always smile when a friend/acquaintance/family member texts me. BUT not everyone feels like we do, I have learned.

      Like

  6. I don’t check my email or text messages constantly during the day, so if someone has something important to tell me, they should call! I get annoyed when I find that people text me multiple times over the same topic and get mad if I don’t check the messages as frequently as THEY think I should!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Dorothy, I misplace my phone all the time, so like you even if I get a text it may take a while for me to text back/go read the email. I don’t get multiple texts on the same topic, so that’s interesting that you do. Well, interesting for me, annoying for you.

      Like

  7. You clearly live in a world far different from mine. I don’t text, don’t receive texts, and never have heard of the practice of sending a text to announce an email. That’s just weird.

    I’ve trained friends, relatives, and customers to email or call. End of story. I check email twice a day, and rarely have more than a few in my inbox. Once read, they’re disposed of: reply and trash, reply and save, or just trash. I don’t get more than one or two spam emails a week, so that’s no problem. I follow blogs by email, too. It’s an easy way to know what I’ve read and what I haven’t.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. shoreacres, interesting! Yes your way of handling your online messages is different from mine. I don’t like to talk on the phone so I rarely do. I respond to texts in my own good time, so for me they are a wave from a neighbor across the street.

      As for emails, I read them when I get to them. I rarely save any of them, including newsletters I’ve subscribed to.

      I don’t get any blog posts via email. That’d drive me bonkers. I follow blogs via Feedly, a rss service that gives me complete control over who I follow and when I read their posts.

      We all find our own ways in this socially mediated world.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I think if you are a person who sometimes forgets to check your emails, and someone knows this and is doing you a kindness, because they want you to see it sooner rather than later, it’s a good thing. I check my emails periodically throughout the day, so would be horrified if someone did it to me. Weak sauce indeed. Perhaps as your other commenter suggested, I might have to cut off their hand.

    My texting is generally with family and friends, and I enjoy it. A way to catch up when you don’t have time for a phone call…like if I’m in a boring meeting (I work from home, no one sees).

    Liked by 5 people

    1. J, oh, I am most definitely someone who [more than sometimes] forgets to check my email accounts. I go for days without bothering with them!

      For me receiving a fast text is fun and kind and makes me feel less alone during these pandemic times. But I realize everyone has his or her own ways of communicating, so I don’t expect everyone [anyone?] to use texts/emails like I do.

      Like

  9. This is certainly a kettle of worms as I have friends (and relatives) who don’t regularly check emails. I don’t always check texts although now that I get them on my fitbit, I’m much better. It depends. I recently emailed (it was too lengthy to text) my husband’s kids on a health situation. Three of the four responded quickly. Never heard from the other one for a few days only to get an admonishment that she doesn’t read “that” email address and only heard about it from her sisters (like it was my fault?). So why give it to us to use? People are so different in their habits. If I don’t get a response from an important email, I try a different approach (never phone as that is that very last resort!) but I’ve never done a text alert about an email though. Maybe that would work for his kids and yes it’s redundant.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Kate, yes it is… so I had to post about it. 😜

      I can understand your frustration about how to get info to everyone who needs to see it. There is no one way anymore. It used to be phone call or snail mail, which was much simpler.

      In your example I’m the kid who doesn’t read her email often, BUT I’d also apologize to you about being a laggard, not complain that it was your fault. I know when I’m in the wrong. Which is why friends + family know that if they want me to read something stat they have to toss a text at me to tell me do so.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Because everyone I know is busy, I will text or message someone on Facebook about an email (especially someone I have to interview or an author whose book I’m editing). And I prefer that people would alert me that way as well. I don’t do this all of the time. And I know it seems like overkill. But I have a busy author friend who loves to be reminded of an email via a text. Another publishing exec also tells me that sometimes she forgets for weeks to respond, so she appreciates a texted reminder.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. L. Marie, your examples ring true with how I am, too. It’s not that I’m being rude about not reading your email, it’s that I don’t remember to check all my email accounts daily. However if I get a fast text I’ll go read what you want me to know. For me a text nudge is helpful, but not everyone agrees on this. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Depends on the situation…..if you know someone seldom checks their emails because they are too busy or out of habit, then sending a quick text to tell them to check their email is fine if it’s an important issue, but otherwise no……we’re already swamped by enough tech stuff. Yesterday I got another phone call from a person at the bank telling me an investment was due (I already knew and had contacted them) and that my financial adviser would be calling me soon. She had called twice. So I asked her, could you handle it, and she said no – she was just advising that he would be calling soon…..kind of redundant IMO, a phone call to expect a phone all, but as I’ve never that that kind of call before, I guess it must give someone a customer service job during these COVID times? I’m glad I’m retired and don’t have to read 300 emails a day, like someone above mentioned….

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Joni, you got a call telling you to expect a phone call? Now that’s never happened to me. I find that like something from a 1930s movie wherein the secretary of Mr. Big calls ahead of time to tell you Mr. Big will be in touch– and you’re to be thrilled by it.

      I cannot imagine receiving 300 emails every day. That sounds like a level of hell to me. Of course I’m the one who forgets to check her email for days at a time, so it would, wouldn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was new to me too! And the investment isn’t due until Nov 2 so it’s not like there was any rush for the financial adviser to get back to me, even if he was swamped at the moment? I know banks aren’t very busy right now so maybe it was a make-work project to keep someone employed, that’s my guess. I check my emails every day, except for Facebook which I seldom do anymore, but not text messages as I don’t use my cell phone much and not many people have the number. I’m thinking of work (pharmacy) now, where the doctor can fax the Rx, e-prescribe it, or leave it on voice mail, and the patient can text, voice mail or email their refills/requests….so that’s six things to be constantly checking throughout the day with limited staff…..no wonder nothing is ever ready when people come in!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I bet you’re right about it being busy work to keep someone doing something. I didn’t realize banks weren’t busy now. I don’t do many scripts so honestly I’m not aware of all the ways in which I can connect with a pharmacy. I’m old-school I guess. When I get a prescription from the doctor I take it in hand to the pharmacy then wait for them to fill it. Someday I’ll get more with it, I’m sure.

          Liked by 1 person

  12. This isn’t an issue for me. I have only one email account and most people who have my email don’t send me texts. I’ve never gotten a text to alert me to an email. But I check my email regularly and deal with it sorta promptly. I don’t get too many of either (and the volume should drop a week from now), and I like it that way.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Eilene, you sound efficient, although I’m intrigued by how you have only one email account. I have a few accounts so that I can keep track of things. I don’t check the accounts every day– which is why friends/family know to send me a text nudge if they want me to read something stat. We all use these communication systems so differently.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. None of this actually bothers me. People have strong opinions about these things and I know this because this isn’t the first time I have heard about it. But it doesn’t really bother me either way. Maybe because I don’t have a job right now LMAO.

    Maybe if I was gainfully employed, I would feel otherwise. Like if my boss or my editor was texting me to tell me they had just sent me an email via text, I would feel like they are checking up on me?
    But in a personal text/email situation, this doesn’t bother me at all.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Kari, I’m cool with getting a text nudge about an email. I am known to be scatterbrained so I find it encouraging, not bothersome. Like you said, if it was a micromanaging boss who was checking up on me I’d snarl. Or thinking back to when I worked in retail, if it was a vendor bugging me to make a decision about their product I’d be less generous. But as it is now, I’m good on this point.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t want texts (or worse… phone calls!) announcing an email like the heralds of olde escorting a king. My email goes to my phone and I see it instantly, the same as a text. If I don’t reply immediately (or at all), it’s because I don’t want to. Dear Abby always said you are never obligated to answer a ringing phone or a knock on your door (unless it’s the police). The same goes for e-communication!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Paula, I don’t have my email on my cell phone so I only know about emails when I go to my desktop computer and look for them. I hadn’t thought about the text message and the email could arrive simultaneously in certain situations.

      I love that Dear Abby idea. She is absolutely correct as applied to my current life. Ergo I get to emails when I get to them.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. My husband never reads his emails so sending him a text to let him know about something would be beneficial. I wouldn’t mind it but I can only remember one time that it’s happened. Guess. I don’t have that many important things going on.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Janet, you raise a good point. If you know someone doesn’t look at their email often [like your husband and me] then a text nudge is smart. Otherwise, I guess, people don’t like to receive a text alerting them to an email. Or at least that seems to be what commenters are saying so far.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I have one family member (my aunt) who texts that they’ve sent me an email; it usually has to do with real estate finds for her that she wants me to look over, I would never think it’s offensive or bothersome. I DO like text messages….more so than phone calls. I know that’s probably not nice, but it’s the truth. You can answer a text when you have time, I feel a phone call needs to be answered now.
    Wait, that was not the topic at hand today was it?
    I’m with you. A text alerting an email isn’t an issue in my book. And believe me, my book is thick. 🙂
    It’s funny how we are all so different in what is bothersome (bossy) and what isn’t though. Gotta love human nature.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Suz, clearly we think alike on this point. A text nudge is appreciated but not mandatory. I understand about your phone comment. I do not like talking on the phone, never have– so a text for me seems less demanding than the ring of the phone. I agree, how we use our gadgets to communicate with each other is an examination of human nature writ large.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. I check e-mails regularly throughout the day . . . and I have blocked texts from my flip phone because I don’t want to deal with texts.

    So I’m on Z-D’s side here. When people send me an e-mail there is no need for them to “alert” me that it’s on the way.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Nancy, to me what is interesting about this conversation isn’t so much how people communicate with each other using cell phones and the internet, as much as the fact that we often assume everyone else is doing it the same way as we are. And clearly we are not. Hence the grumbles and snarls…

      Like

  18. I cannot think of anyone who sends me a text to let me know they have sent me an email. I, on the other hand, just texted Coach this morning to let him know I had forwarded him something in an email that needed his attention. He doesn’t mind as he doesn’t check email while with patients.

    I guess it would depend on if it was a person who never checks email. I am on top of my email, so no text announcements are necessary.

    I have VERY strong feelings about group text messages and emails and people who respond TO ALL, but that’s a whole other ball of wax.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ernie, like you, Z-D is on top of his email so sending him a text is redundant, frivolous even. I am, as you’ve probably gathered here, the opposite. I forget about email for days on end. You’re right in that if you know you’re dealing with someone who is lackadaisical about email, then a text is great.

      As for your last sentence, ME TOO! That sort of confusing communication is annoying to the nth degree… but like you said that’s a topic for a different post. I volunteer you to write it! 😉

      Like

  19. I turn off all notifications. I don’t need a phone to text me about my email. I’ll find it when I check my email. And if it that’s important you need to alert me by text? For God’s sake just call and talk to me. Phones do still have that function. That being said, I am a huge texting fan in general.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. River, I don’t have any notifications on my cell phone. They drove me nuts. I do get texts but like you I find emails when I find them, meaning when I sit down at my desktop computer and look for them. Not a fan of phone calls, but I agree with you. Although I now often get texts asking me if this is a good time to call me…

      Liked by 1 person

  20. A successful lawyer is a master of his email, calendar, and technology. His/her time is valuable and should be respected. A text to announce an email is a waste of his/her time. For you, however, known to check email only sporadically, it makes sense. The same rule doesn’t have to apply to everyone. What is a courtesy to you is a nuisance to him. That makes total sense. As an esq, too, I get really irritated when I get appointment reminders from people I am going to meet with. I am a true master of my calendar, and I find that mildly insulting.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. KDKH, YES: “The same rule doesn’t have to apply to everyone.” That’s the crux of it. Z-D who is much busier and more structured than I am doesn’t need the reminder, but moi, a creative free spirit who loses track of all time, needs a heads-up.

      I tend to agree with you about the appointment reminders you mention. In your case they do seem a trifle insulting. 😒

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I find it courteous to receive a text letting me know about an email. The other person has no idea how frequently I check my messages, and it could be something that needs immediate attention. If it’s on a personal level, I get a bit concerned that there is a problem or issue involved though. Plus, comcast (and other services) have been known to randomly block emails or send them to spam folders, so sending one is no guarantee that the other person will get it. I like texts. Both my daughters live far away, thus I like to send them quick texts to let them know that I’m thinking about them, sending them love, hoping the day is going well, etc. The texts don’t disturb their work or routine like a phone call and they can respond at their own convenience.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Margaret, hear, hear!. I agree 100% with what you say here. The courteousness of sending the text nudge, the unreliability of phone services, and how you can text *thinking of you* in a low-key way without any expectation of immediate response. That’s how I use all this newfangled gadgetry and communication services. 😉

      Like

  22. Interesting topic, and I bet you could categorize the responses into a graph by age and that would be interesting too. 🙂 I text and do email, 3 accounts for me and two for a volunteer group I monitor. My pet peeve would be two fold: the folks who don’t text and ask you to send emails but only check them about every 3-7 days. Secondly, it just feels strange when someone dies to find out in a text, message or post. That one I probably won’t get over. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Judy, I hadn’t thought about the demographics behind each comment. I wonder if it is an age thing or if it is a business/creative personality divide.

      If you’re only going to make yourself available via email then you have to check it more often than 3-7 days. I take your point about that.

      I couldn’t tell you when anyone has phoned me to say someone has died. It’s always in an email or text. You know I hadn’t realized that until now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I logged on to Facebook a few years back and a post came up from a friend’s daughter telling about how her Dad had died. I almost fell out of my chair. I called, and we talked, but I was still in shock that we’d reached this point. I think my age is showing here so I’d probably been quit. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I’ve never seen a public post like the one you describe. I’ll get emails or texts from a mutual acquaintance, but it’s private so it seems respectful. A public post… I dunno about that… of course I’m not a fan of FB to begin with.

          Like

  23. Hi, Ally – I always see my emails. They are right there – full center – on my phone and on my computer. I get so few texts that I often forget to check them and they never show front and center on my phone (I totally blame my phone). I also frequently miss phone calls (again, I blame my phone). So emailing me truly is the best option! Or…you could say that one should email me to say that they have texted or phoned me! 😀

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Donna, I don’t have email on my phone, but texts I see… eventually. I wonder how often we all miss texts because the phone service isn’t reliable? I do like your conclusion. You’re living in an upside world, aren’t you?

      Like

  24. I much prefer texts to emails or phone calls. If someone was sending me something via email that was important (by my standard, not theirs), I would appreciate a heads-up text. Since I see my texts almost immediately and it can be a while before I look at my emails, that would save me time.

    I really like the idea of having multiple email accounts like you and others have set up. I need to look into that. I imagine that I could channel about 3/4 of my emails into a “who cares” folder.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Janis, I’m with you. I see a text in a relatively short period of time, but an email may languish in the account for days, until I get to it.

      FWIW, I have four email accounts that each have a specific purpose. They are: personal (for just me); family for us (friends and relations); family for us (household); my blog. By allowing the email accounts to be separate like this, I know how attentive [time sensitive?] I need to be to the emails in each account. It’s worked well since I started this a few years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Do you like to know when someone has sent you an email? OR do you prefer to find them when you find them? I don’t like ‘notifications’ in general. And since I’ve weaned myself off texting, it’s a moot point. But when it happened (once or twice in the past), I quickly adjusted the setting to “do not notify”.

    When receiving a text message about an email that’s been sent to you, does the context, business or personal, influence your answer to the first question? No.

    Also, do you consider text messages to be bossy? OR do you consider them to be like a polite wave from a neighbor across the street? I found them to be overwhelmingly annoying. Full stop. Which is why I keep my cell phone turned off unless I’m going to drive somewhere. If someone texts in that scenario? It gets ignored. I never gave them enough impact with me to be ‘bossy’ though. I never did anything at the behest of an text certainly.

    Please discuss in the comments below.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Melanie, I don’t know what the “do not notify” setting is on my phone. I don’t do notifications for anywhere but I accept text messages from friends and family and doctors’ offices.

      You must have been getting a large number of text messages. I don’t get many so I find them charming, endearing. Or informative, I guess. I’m glad you’ve found a way to handle your text messages so that they don’t drive you mad. Madder? 😉

      Like

  26. I check my email like ALL the TIME, but I like texts alerting me that an email of importance to myself or the texter or someone I care about or do bidniss with has been sent. Because sometimes that shit gets caught in the spam filter and I have to get a straightened-out clothes hanger and fish it out and hose it off. Especially if it’s timely. Like, “I sent your application to be a vendor at next month’s book fair. The deadline for applying is two hours from now.” Like that. But, no, texts aren’t the boss of me. They’re how you say — friends. Mostly. Politicians, now, that’s another story.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Marian, I like your description of how a spam filter works. I wonder sometimes how many emails sent to me go down one, never to be fished out. [Same with comments on the blog].

      I rarely check my email accounts. In the beginning I was all over them, but now I’m much more relaxed. I agree that texts are the way you say *friend* without the annoying need to talk with someone!

      Liked by 2 people

  27. I’m something of a fuddy-duddy. I find texts annoying. Since I get my emails delivered to my phone as well as my computer (and i-Pad), texts seem redundant. Also, I try to minimize time on my phone and frequently ignore it for days at a time. If someone wants to reach me, they should email. Yes, that’s a very 20th century outlook. Not all that thrilled with the 21st century right now….
    I very much liked Untamed.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Donna, in your situation I can understand your reluctance to use texting. I don’t have email on my phone so for me a text lets me know that I need to go read the email on my desktop computer. I’m fascinated by the ways in which we all have adapted to messaging systems, some of which weren’t even around 10 years ago.

      You’re the first person I know who liked Untamed. Honestly I don’t get that book. It seemed disjointed and pointless to me. What was I supposed to glean from Glennon’s life story? [Sincere rhetorical question– unless you want to answer it.]

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I was interested to see how she navigated being a mother, a Christian, and a lesbian–since I am none of these things. There was very little in her life that I related to, but I liked her writing. I agree the book was all over the place, and often repetitive, but I think that was because much of it had been published elsewhere first.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Like you, Glennon’s life was/is different from my own– which is why I like memoirs. I enjoy learning about how other people navigate their lives. I didn’t know that these essays [blog posts?] had been published elsewhere. That explains a lot. Thanks for the explanation.

          Liked by 1 person

  28. Have I ever sent an email, and then called (no text: I’m not a texting kind of gal) about that aforementioned email? Yes, but rarely. Only with time sensitive matter. Or if I know the receiver might have a tendency to overlook or delay responding to my message.

    Here at home we holler from one office to the other “I sent you an email.” Not sure how we got into that habit, but there you are…

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Maggie, phoning to tell someone you sent an email makes sense in the same way that sending a text does. There are times and situations for it. Perhaps not always but often with some people.

      I love that you shout “I sent you an email” to someone in your home. It has just the right sort of whimsy to make it fun. Rock on!

      Like

    1. Sarah Davis, that’s an interesting distinction. I tend to think of them as different sides of the same coin, but perhaps they aren’t after all? Will think on that. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  29. I’m a ‘less is more’ type, at least when it comes to communication. I know how to find my emails, and will get to them in due course, thank you very much. Texts (unless I know you) are viewed with disdain…hopefully I will stop getting Nancy’s messages once the election is over. But even my inbox is not safe…for a while Facebook was emailing me to let me know that I had just posted an update. I’m so glad pot is legal here.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Lies Jack Kerouac told Me, I like your approach. I’m with you the idea of getting to emails when I do– and people who know me know this. I only get texts from people who I know so that’s not an issue for me. I’m not on FB and you’ve given me yet another reason why I’m glad about that. How annoying it can be.

      Like

    1. Marian, I’ll let him know! I’ve come to wonder if the need for a text alerting you to an email is one that can be best explained in terms of the business personality or the creative personality. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I wonder if texts are the same as ‘what’s app’ text messages. I use what’s app a lot, sometimes sending photos to family and/or friends or just a hello little message. We also call sms a text message, (short message system I think sms stands for) but I don’t use that. Occasionally I may receive a what’s app text to say ‘did you receive the email I sent you?’ … which can be an oversight on my part and therefore I’m grateful. But if I were to be bombarded with messages to say ‘did you receive etc” I’d be mad and hugely irritated. But, each to their own Ally Bean, keeping things cool and clean.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Susan, I don’t know anything about a ‘what’s app’ message system. It might be the same thing as texting but I don’t know. I’ve seen the term ‘sms’ but know nothing about that either.

      I appreciate receiving a heads-up text nudge about emails, but you raise a good point. If I was bombarded with them, I’d not appreciated them. I agree that to each his own, as long as the message gets to its intended receiver then all is well.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. I can’t say as I ever receive a text telling me to read an email. Maybe I’m pretty good at responding to email? I’m guessing that if it did happen I’d wonder why they didn’t just tell me what they wanted in the text?
    As for Glennon Doyle, I really enjoyed her latest book. I think I might have quibbled with one or two thoughts, but overall, I found it empowering. Best of all, I know she doesn’t care a fig what I think!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Arlene, another person who liked Untamed! Up until you and another commenter I hadn’t found a person who liked it.

      I felt like I was too old for her thoughts, me being an old soul from birth. It was as if I knew all her revelations before she said them, having experienced them already.

      Be that as it may, if you felt empowered by it that’s wonderful. Sometimes books click with you and sometimes they don’t. Oh well

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Interesting . . . I have had the opposite experience. I haven’t met anyone who didn’t like it, or didn’t think that at least some of it was important. There are sentiments in there that some people really, really need. Those of us who are blessed to walk in the main stream need it less. Lucky us. Good thing for the others that she is there for them.

        Liked by 1 person

  32. Interesting post, Ally, and interesting comments, although I only read a few because I got a text saying I had an email and had to leave. Just kidding! Let’s see. The mediocre white male discussion catches in my mind. My husband’s an IT guy and besides doing his job, going to meeting, and being on call, he gets hundreds of work emails everyday, so it’s not always someone trying to show off. That being said, he has a work email account, a personal one, and one we share. I have one that’s sort of everything-but-family-and important-business, a personal one that mostly only family have, and then the one we share. I rarely get texts saying someone sent me an email but I’d say that’s down to the person whether or not they like it. My husband’s method is to say, “Did you read the email I sent you?” when I haven’t checked my email yet. I try to check email off and on during the day and respond to blogs a few times. To accomplish the latter, I turned off notifications from WP and similar places so I’m not temped to check all the time.

    That may have wandered a bit far afield. My husband thinks a text saying someone sent an email is fine if it’s important. Other than that, no. He also says that if the email doesn’t say something important in the first few sentences, it probably won’t get read.

    janet

    Liked by 4 people

    1. janet, I have a number of email accounts, too. They have different purposes so I check them when needed. That is, some daily, some weekly. It seems to work for me but no one will ever accuse me of being quick to reply to an email, hence the texts when it is time sensitive. Some people know my sloth-y ways.

      I like your husband’s summation of email. Yes, I too only want to receive a text if the email is important. Plus he said it about the first few sentences in an email. Get to the point or forget about it.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Now that I’m retired the only person that tells me that they’ve sent me an email is Mary, and it usually means it needs my attention, so I don’t mind that she tells me. Aside from that, text messages and emails usually come to me because I asked for it, e.g. from the bank, the credit card company, two-factor authentication, “your prescription is ready” etc.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. John, your text messages are practical. I like that. I find that friends/family who send me emails are understanding about how long it takes for me to reply. It’s all a new frontier.

      Liked by 1 person

  34. Oh my! I have never ever received a text stating an email is imminent. I love emails so much more than texts and messages because the have long actual sentences and can be read in a leisurely manner. However lots of peeps don’t like email any more—traitors!—a fact I am trying to radically accept. 😁

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Kathy, I like both texts and emails, but I take your point. In an email the writer tells me more about themselves than in a text. However if you want me to read your email soon you have to inform me that it’s there. I am not good about checking my email accounts. I admit it.

      Like

  35. I have my email open on my computer constantly, so I can’t say that I’ve experienced the need for a text heads-up, nor can I recall ever receiving a text heads-up. But if I did, I believe I would side with your opinion on this matter.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Betsy, you’re like me in that a little nudge [in your case theoretical] toward reading an email works in everyone’s favor. But I do understand that not everyone thinks like this. For instance, Z-D.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. I can’t remember ever getting a text to alert me about an email.

    I have had a person miffed at me for not replying immediately to an email he sent to my secondary email address. I told him several times that I did not look at that one every day. I think we are quicker being annoyed with people than we used to be.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Anne, I’ve more than one email account. Like you some of them I don’t check daily– more like weekly. Which is my way of saying I understand why you don’t look at your secondary address daily AND to agree with you that people are touchy about the darnedest things anymore.

      Like

  37. This is easy to answer and hard to enforce. If you are someone whose email I don’t want to delay opening, I appreciate the text. Unfortunately, there are very few people in that group, and they aren’t the ones who understand the message.

    Liked by 4 people

  38. Hmmm… I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a text message about an email that’s been sent to me. But I don’t think I’d mind it, unless they did it often enough to be annoying. (I have sent a text to my niece occasionally because she rarely checks her email.) I check my email on my cell phone frequently. To me, text messages are friendly when they come from friends, intrusive when they come from spammers. When I block the number they text again from a different number. That infuriates me because I have to spend so much time blocking number after number. I’m not part of a business so I wouldn’t be getting business emails. Not sure how I would feel about that.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Barbara, I agree that it could become annoying if whoever kept texting about me reading their email. So far *fingers crossed* that hasn’t happened. I don’t have email on my cell phone so I have to go to my desktop computer to read it.

      I know what you mean about blocking spammers. I resent the fact that they bother me, yet I have to work to stop them. Still, I do it. Only people who I know and respect are allowed to text me. My phone, my rules.

      Like

  39. I am not strongly offended about this either way. I missed an important electronic signature document last week, though, and a text telling me it was being sent and needed to be signed ASAP would have saved a lot of trouble. Sometimes things just get lost.
    My kiddos have freely admitted they “never” check their email so I always text them if I send something they need to see. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Laura, your attitude is balanced. You’ve figured out how your kids work, so you know how to get info to them. I can honestly say that we were surprised to learn what the other one thought about this issue, but then just laughed.

      Like

  40. I would find it annoying and unnecessary as I already get email notifications on my phone, iPad, laptop and even my watch! But for people who don’t have all those devices (or enable it on said devices) it could be valuable. It should be something one can opt in or out of, I think.

    Deb

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Deb, I don’t have email on my phone so for me it’s a good idea to send a text IF you want me to read an email soon-ish. With all the devices you have, I can understand how a text would be redundant. It’s been interesting to learn how everyone uses their phones when it comes to receiving messages. Expectations vary dramatically.

      Liked by 1 person

  41. I feel far too accessible these days. Let me just say that at the outset.

    I have been sent a text a few times to alert me to an email. I find it ridiculous. Like you, Ally, I don’t have email on my phone. I simply refuse to.

    I do like text messaging–prefer it to actual conversing in many cases. I feel like I have more control of my time that way. I’m not a phone person; it’s often a time suck and I vastly prefer text or email when I can be more deliberate and thoughtful in my communication in less time. And on MY time.

    (I have more than one email account, too. It really is the way to go.)

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Nance, until commenters mentioned it here, I didn’t realize how many people have email on their phones. I’ve never even considered it, so color me surprised.

      I only like talking on the phone with a few people so for the most part texts & emails are the way I communicate. Like you said I can be more deliberate that way + they seem more efficient to me than phone calls.

      Again from the comments here I learned that many people only have one email account. This surprised me because it never dawned on me that you wouldn’t have more than one. Who knew?

      Like

  42. I know one thing. I am not sharing your post this week with my guy. He detests texts. To the point of being rude because he rarely answers anyone’s texts. I don’t think I’ll get him a copy of that book that you suggest in the beginning of this post either. Me? I love texts because that’s what my adult children use most often to communicate with me. Phone calls maybe once a week but text every day and they warm my heart. But I do not want a text from a friend telling me to look at her email. And I have one friend who does that. And I think it’s bossy. 🥴

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Pam, it’s been fascinating to read these comments in which people share how they stay in touch with each other. If your husband doesn’t like texts, then I doubt that anything positive anyone would tell him about them will change his mind. I’m glad you and your adult children text in spite of his grouchy attitude.

      As for Untamed, I bought it because the reviews of it were posititve. A few commenters here loved it, but most of the people who I know don’t care for the book, myself included. Glennon seems disingenuous to me but then maybe her thoughts & way of communicating are geared to a younger crowd? I am, after all, an old soul, so I don’t think she’s speaking to me. If you read the book let me know what you think.

      Liked by 1 person

          1. So interesting to hear you say this. (Or actually to read your words.) My publisher is encouraging me to publish my book of what I call flashes of life – nonfiction stories of my life that are lighthearted and fun. She calls it memoir! Who knew? Ive always thought memoir has to be sad and despairing in many ways. My stories are not. 🤭🤗

            Liked by 2 people

            1. I think the word ‘memoir’ has come to be defined more broadly [no pun intended] than it was even 20 years ago. Did you ever follow a blogger named Sophie Hudson? She wrote a memoir in the same light vein as her blog. The book is called: a little SALTY to cut the SWEET. If I was ever to attempt to write a book of my nonfiction stories, I’d do it in a lighthearted way.

              Liked by 1 person

  43. I have never received a text telling me to read an e-mail, but then I don’t text on my phone either. It is a flip phone and rarely do I see it except to charge it … it is for emergencies only. I rarely if ever get texts on my computer, but I do send them from there. I do use my computer to first e-mail then follow-up with a text for our computer guy who does not respond to e-mails ever … so I describe the issue, then send a text telling him to read it. I prefer that to calling him – if he’s on a job, he does not pick up and my voicemail goes with everyone else’s. But I just do this to ensure he gets my message and I would think it would be rude for other instances. P.S. – The whole world moves too fast for me sometimes. To use an old expression: “where is the house on fire here?”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Linda, you can text from a computer? I didn’t know that. I thought that was only on cell phones. I understand why you do a text in the situation you describe because you’ve learned how to get your computer guy to do things. We go with what works, don’t we?

      Yes I sometimes feel like the world is moving too fast, but also have days when I feel like the world isn’t moving at all! Perhaps they balance me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I will send you the directions tonight Ally. I just looked them up so I can give you the suffix for different cellphone carriers. Besides using it for the IT guy, I use it all the time for my boss when he travels, especially in different time zones or internationally. I work off-site, but check voicemail at work and also his cellphone every two hours and text him if anything is important. Likewise for e-mail which I check every half hour. If something is important, I say “check your e-mail” and this method saves him roaming charges. He is on Verizon but I have texted my neighbor who is on T-Mobile and a friend who has Sprint and it works flawlessly. I can receive photos that people text to me from their phone. I don’t pay a charge to text … I don’t know if the receiver does, but I guess they would pay a charge if it was phone to phone.

        Nowadays, it seems everything is done via smartphone. I signed up for another charity walk … this time a 10K … I am wondering how I’ll post results – last time it was not a problem, as I just uploaded the info … this is a larger charity and more high tech. I have no angst over it – everyone gets a finisher’s medal anyway, but I’ll play it straight as to my distance/time. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Here’s how to send a text message from a computer.

        Compose a new e-mail and in the “To” portion, use the recipient’s mobile phone number as the
        e-mail address. Do not put a “1” before the area code. You do NOT need to put any dashes, commas, anything in … just type the phone #.

        The list of domain suffixes for the various cell carriers is below. As an example, a computer text to a Verizon phone will look like this if the phone number is 555-123-4567, you type: 5551234567@vtext.com

        Here are some of the most-common carriers:

        • AT&T: phonenumber@txt.att.net
        • T-Mobile: phonenumber@tmomail.net
        • Sprint: phonenumber@messaging.sprintpcs.com
        • Verizon: phonenumber@vtext.com or phonenumber@vzwpix.com
        • Virgin Mobile: phonenumber@vmobl.com

        Fill in the subject line and compose your message. Once you click send, the recipient will receive a text message. Replies to the text will come to your e-mail, with the same subject you used.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Well I’ll be darned! I had no idea you could do this. None. [I wonder if Z-D knows this?]. Thank you for explaining it to me so clearly. I get it and will save this information. If it weren’t for blogging friends I’d be clueless about so many things. Huh.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Glad to help out! You’ll have to send him a message and see or to practice. He’ll say “how did Ally do that?” Now with all the people working from home, they use Zoom for work/meetings but I haven’t got a clue how to use Zoom and am grateful I don’t have to learn. My boss co-teaches a labor law class. They had to go to an online format (not Zoom) when the pandemic began. I asked our IT guy to set up the invitees and remote in to tell him how to “start” the session. So I am clueless about Zoom or similar formats, despite knowing my way around computers after my boss/I moved out on our own in 2003 so no more computer guy to have at your desk in a few minutes, then working from home.

            Liked by 2 people

  44. I’m with ZenDen on this one. A text is fine. An email is fine. Both are NOT fine. I get phone alerts like so many other commenters…anything more than one form of contact is excessive and redundant IMHO!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Swinged Cat, I don’t have email on my phone so for me, and those like me I guess, a text is helpful. That being said, I understand why you and others find a text redundant. It’s all in how we each use our electronic gadgetry to communicate with each other.

      Like

  45. Weak sauce is an awesome term. Considered it stolen. I would prefer a text simply because I do not check my email and would never allow it to notify me on its own. In this sense, the text has a purpose, no? I suppose for others, it is redundant.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Markus + Micah, I am not one to check my email regularly nor do I have any notifications for it on my phone. Like you, when someone sends me a text it serves a purpose.

      Like

  46. To answer this question: When receiving a text message about an email that’s been sent to you, does the context, business, or personal, influence your answer to the first question? The answer is, it depends on who sent the text and how urgent the reply is needed. The relationship to the person sending the text definitely influences me on when to reply. On a side note, the tendency of the person who sent the text to reciprocate a prompt reply to my texts or emails also determines the speed in which I reply. Does the snotty brat factor sometimes find its way to the top of the email inbox?! Admittedly so. LOL

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Shelley, “it depends” is a good way to qualify your answer. We all do that in reality. I agree that if someone is quick to reply to my emails, then I’ll be inclined to do the same thing back. We all train each other about how we want both of us to communicate.

      Liked by 1 person

  47. It depends on the tone used in the text if I consider it bossy. Overkill? Yes, totally. That is why I always warn friends I do not respond to texts, only emails. I make an occasional exception when I know, for instance, with my 2nd daughter, a phone call could be disruptive when she is home schooling. What I miss with texts is “the voice.” I am a psychologist, I like the contact, and know what mood the other one is in.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. DocJunieper, your distinction between a text and an email makes sense. I rather like texts for short get-to-the-point communication but if they’re not for you so be it. I, too, prefer an email for anything in-depth. It allows for more nuanced messages. Of course I’m not the best at checking my email so sending me a text to nudge me to do so works for me.

      Like

      1. That’s the thing Ally!
        If people start texting me, it is one more thing to check (and I am very focused, especially when I’m painting. Often hubby takes over the meals then, otherwise we won’t eat a warm meal!

        Liked by 1 person

  48. Back in the dawn of time when I had to replace my old flip phone which only did calls & texts, I’d have been entirely happy to get a text alert for an email. If that was to happen now, with everything coming in to my smart phone, I’d be overwhelmed. As I use use FB, IG & Twitter both personally & professionally, I have muted the sound, opted out of pretty much all notifications, and leave WhatsApp groups that prove to be too chatty. My emails are split into 3 – admin job, life coaching & one for everything else. That last one gets a lot of traffic and I allocate up to an hour each morning to dealing with it. I only respond to those which are genuinely time sensitive outside of that window. .I used to be on it constantly, but Himself has cured me of the addiction! ;D

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Deb, I’ve been amazed to learn how many people have their email on their cell phones. I don’t do that so when I read email it is while sitting at my desktop computer. I’ve come to realize that’s why I like the little text nudges– that seem redundant to many commenters.

      I’m glad Himself has helped you reduce your time dealing with messages. I’m on IG & Twitter on my phone but never have allowed any notifications. Again, when I’m there I’m there. When I’m not… oh well. I have a number of email accounts, too. That’s the only way I can keep my life straight, but have been amazed to learn that some people only have one account [for everything].

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Before I read your account, I thought you and I would agree on this matter and we do. I often forget to check my email. I appreciate texts if there is something I should look at ASAP. And my hubby groans whenever he gets a text. Or a phone call! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Laurie, birds of a feather. I like having the ability to communicate in the various ways that we do now, but I am not exactly enthused about being available 24/7. Thus my somewhat slow response to emails.

      Like

  50. Hmmm. Okay, so at work, I read and respond to email promptly. In fact, if my office gave awards for timely responses to emails, I would win. *polishes halo* On occasion, female boss will text me weekends or evenings, but never about an email. She would not text me to tell me about an email. She would simply text me instead of emailing me. She does this during business hours as well.
    At home with personal email, I am the worst. Terrible, awful, very bad about email. In my email, I have blog posts from April that I am saving. I know that I want to read them when I am alone and it is quiet, so who knows when that will be. I also get all my parenting information in that account. My kids are good students, so I tell myself it’s okay if I don’t read their grades. See how bad? Then in my ’email you give to everyone account’ I have 20k and bad intentions. In the last month I have run into “Didn’t Check Email Problems’. And those are personal emails, from people I adore, so yeah, I kinda wish they’d text to tell me instead. I still don’t think I want a text to alert me of email.
    I would like to add that anxious introverting (hiding all sthuper sthecret sthquirrel like) during surreal and horrifying circus of national crises maybe means socially avoidant behaviors including not reading email is perfectly acceptable.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. joey, starting with your idea that socially avoidant behaviors are acceptable during this sh!t show of year… YES I AGREE. Therefore, good intentions run amuck are perfectly acceptable.

      I’m in awe of you for having so many unread emails although I do understand why you let the ones about your kids slide. They’re golden. I’ll admit that I often only glance at some emails rather the read them, but then I delete most of them because I totally adore deleting emails. It makes me feel like a conquering heroine which is how I think about all our email accounts. I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS.

      It sounds like your use of email and texts at work is as it should be. If someone were paying me to be on top of our emails here at home, I’d be an angel too. But considering where I am… what I do… and who I am… so far my laissez-faire approach seems to work well enough. Thanks for stopping by to comment, knowing as I do now, that you got a heap ‘o emails to get through!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You know what, Ally Bean? I really like that bit about being the conquering heroine of deleting emails. Slay, Queen! How inspirational! Of course, at this point all I can do is chuck at it bit by bit, but still, inspirational.

        Liked by 1 person

  51. Now that I think about it, I don’t usually get messages or calls prompting me to read emails. I think in my workplace, it’s kind of understood that if a matter is important, you call instead of emailing. If it can wait a bit, an email will do, and maybe a phone call if there’s no response for a long time (but generally a repeat email in the style of a gentle nudge comes first).

    For the most part, I like being able to ignore emails until I’m ready to deal with them, so I’m with you on not having phone notifications for incoming emails, but I think I’m siding with ZD on text message prompts.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Pistachios, I can understand the way in which your work situation uses phone calls; it makes sense considering people need meds now and an email might languish somewhere.

      Like you I ignore emails until I have the time to properly read them and reply to them. I refuse to have any notifications on my cell phone, so friends and family know they have to give me a text nudge when they want me to read something stat. However you and Z-D seem to be the norm here about no text prompts– and if it works for you then so be it.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Debasis Nayak, good point. Being able to use both email and texting is a gift. If nothing else I’ve learned from my commenters that there’s no one right or wrong ways– just ways.

      Like

    1. Kalvin, we’re on the same page about this. That’s hoe I approach my communication, but boy oh boy have I found out how differently everyone uses email and texts. It’s been great to learn how and why people do what they do.

      Like

  52. We get enough stimulation from texts and emails and messages and notifications and and and… Less texts the better. Having said that, if I have forgotten something, which happense more as I get older, it is a benefit. I guess there I am on the fence. Ouch.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amanda, you’re right about the amount of stimulation we all get from all these different forms of communication. I do my best to avoid as many as possible, while still maintaining some semblance of sociability. I figure we’re all learning how to handle texts and emails and notifications as we go along. Some days better than other ones.

      Liked by 1 person

  53. Unless the email is urgent, I’m with Den-Zen on this. I think we’ve all become a bit to handcuffed to texts and other instant messages. Kind of related: The husband used to get frustrated if I called him on his cellphone while he was in the shower. I told him a) obviously I didn’t know you were in the shower, and b) where’s the law that says you have to answer the phone when it rings? (Ditto with the doorbell, by the way. There’s no rule that says you have to answer the door if it’s not a good time.) Anyway, I told him “Look, if it’s an emergency, I”ll keep calling until you pick up. That’s when you’ll know you have to jump out of the shower dripping wet to answer my call – when I keep calling and calling.” So far, that’s worked for us.
    But back to your disagreement. Yes, unless it’s an emergency, I think it’s a bit pushy to text someone that you’ve emailed them.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The Travel Architect, I keep reminding myself that cell phones are a tool, not an appendage, although I agree with you that we seem to be handcuffed to them now. I like that image, btw.

      I like your “if it’s an emergency, I’ll keep calling until you pick up” approach to communication. It makes sense and is a clear way of telling everyone how you use texts, what they can expect from you.

      I also agree that you do not have to answer the door when the doorbell rings. It’s an option to do so, not an obligation. Somehow that little bit of common sense has gotten lost over the years.

      Like

  54. Um, personally, I get notifications on my phone for all incoming emails. So a text or a call is totally unnecessary. If you send an email, I’ll see it. Period. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Like

    1. Sara, I see your point. I don’t do notifications on my phone for anything, but if I did then I’d feel the same way as you. I’ve come to realize that the trick to communicating with each other is to understand how we each use our phones. Not in the same ways, that’s for sure.

      Liked by 1 person

  55. Normally I read through all the comments so as not to be redundant, but at 182 (and counting), I cannot. I will just offer that it perhaps depends upon your notification settings. Because I get email notifications, I don’t need texts. Also, because I am a person who (to the amazement and disdain of my children) is perfectly comfortable with ignoring actual phone calls (and all other communication) unless I am good and ready to fully respond, I say: Who cares? Text me if you want. I’ll pay attention if I want (and can).

    The issues you raise about disagreement and their relative importance and what they might mean is way more interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rita, I tend to do like you do. I won’t read through a lot of comments AND I reply to all texts + emails when I get to them. I like your “Who cares?” approach.

      The thing about disagreements, all of them, is that your emotional investment in being right will impact how well you deal with someone who has a differing opinion. That’s really the genesis of this post, as you figured out.

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  56. Hmmmm. I think it depends on the person. My husband works in front of his computer. If you send him an email during his work day, chances are he’s going to see it even before he sees a text. But me? I might not check my email for 48 hours. A text is a nice heads up!

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    1. Katie, your life is my life, too. I need a text if you want me to read something soonish. But Z-D is like your husband. He’s working at his computer all day, so don’t bug him with a text. It’s all about knowing your audience, like they say. And I suppose therein is the trouble.

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  57. Hi Ally = I am with you – I consider the text to be a cordial reminder – but can see the other side –
    and this question had me thinking:
    do you consider text messages to be bossy?

    then when i read that you did not answer phone calls (think I read that in a comment)
    I realized I think phone calls can be bossy – and made me se the text coming in as not bossy – maybe because it is not demanding an instant action like a phone call would be

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    1. Yvette, we’re on the same page. I like texts because I think of them as nudges while the sound of the ringing phone jolts me into the moment. Sometimes I answer, but for the most part you have to leave a message and I’ll get back to you. All these communication devices we use are tools, so I try to not let them rule me; I rule them, more or less.

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  58. This is interesting because I can’t recall ever a time someone alerted me to an impending delivery. 🤔 I think, given the scenario, that if it happened on the rare occasion, I shouldn’t think much of it at all. But maybe to Z-D’s point, if this was a frequent alert, probably superfluous and over time aggravating. Probably.

    For me, everything is handled on my phone, so I receive an instant “blip-blip” (dripping water tone) when an email arrives. A text would be redundant (and maybe even late given the speed of email zoomies through the cyberweb.) If we’re talking in a work environment which NOTHING is on my phone – and thank goodness for that! – I would receive somewhere to the tune of 30 “blip-blips” a day followed by ping! “I sent you an email!”

    Probably aggravating.

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    1. FanTC, your take on this makes sense to me. It depends on who’s sending the text and how you use your cell phone/email. If it’s all in one place on your phone then a text nudge nudge might be too much. And of course there’s the personal versus business dimension to this issue, too.

      I do as little as possible on my phone so I don’t get email on it. I didn’t realize how much people used their cell phones until I wrote this and started reading comments. A fascinating revelation

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  59. Such interesting questions, Ally. Unlike you, I prefer not to be notified when I get an email – preferring to go into my emails as and when I like and discovering emails there and then. Depending on what the email is about, I might read it later – for instance, emails from brands and retail I will always read later. But if it’s an email I have been expecting, I will open and read it right away. As for text messages, I don’t receive too many of them – and only two or three people text me. Most of the time I get messages over apps like Messenger or Twitter – and these are always very casual.

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    1. Mabel, if nothing else from reading the comments on this post I’ve learned that everyone uses texts, email, cell phones differently. It’s been insightful to find out how people do what they do.

      I sort through my email the same way you do. There are things to read right now, then there are other emails that can wait. Overall I don’t let my email be the boss of me. I don’t often get messages on Twitter or IG, and like you when I do they are casual.

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      1. That’s a good point. Definitely agree we all use texts, emails and all forms of communications differently. I have some friends who don’t use social media at all, and we text by way of communication.

        Sometimes I am guilty of not every reading some email subscriptions – which I always put off unsubscribing lol.

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        1. Funny you’d mention unsubscribing… I’ve been doing that lately. I only read two of the newsletters that I get, so I’ve stopped all the rest. It’s freeing, I tell you!

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