Think Before You Speak: The One About The Cashier Kid And What Bob Taught Him

/ Ally Bean

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I WAS SHOPPING IN our local Kroger, standing in line behind a chatty woman who was talking with our cashier, a kid about 18 y.o. He was tall, slim, and personable– plus efficient.

I liked him.

As he goes to hand this chatty woman her bag of groceries an older man who is also tall, slim, and personable, a customer on his way out of the store, shouts over to this cashier kid saying: “how ‘ya doing stupid?”

The customer does a little hand wave and smiles as he walks by.

Our cashier kid smiles, waves back, and says: “okay.”

The older man nods his head, keeps walking, and goes out the door.

I figure this older man is the cashier kid’s grandpa and don’t think anything more about it. They looked enough alike for that to be true.

But I was wrong.

Well, the chatty woman in front of me was NOT PLEASED by this brief conversation. She immediately begins to interrogate this cashier kid: “do you know that man?”

The cashier kid says: “he’s a customer here.”

“And he calls you STUPID?!!”

“Yes, but it’s okay he’s pretty nice, really.”  

The cashier kid starts to look frazzled, clearly not into this conversation, but the chatty woman won’t let it go, she NEEDS to know more so she presses this cashier kid: “You mean he’s a customer who talks to you like that and you’re alright with it? Did you tell your manager what he said? You don’t have to take verbal abuse.”

There’s a long awkward pause.

At this point I realize that the cashier kid is in over his head. This previously pleasant conversation with the chatty woman has taken a weird turn that has him tongue-tied, so I butt in and ask the obvious question saying: “WHY does that man call you stupid?”

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And with that THE STORY came out. A good one, totally understandable, one that just goes to show that a little bit of humor goes a long way toward making someone else feel comfortable in a trying situation.

~ • ~

COME TO FIND OUT on the first day the cashier kid worked a register by himself he made a major mistake while ringing up this older man’s groceries. Instead of ringing up a $2.50 half loaf of bread, the cashier kid goofed, ringing it up for close to $30.00.

How did this happen, you might be wondering?

Well for some reason our cashier kid got flustered when he saw a half loaf of bread. His mom buys whole loaves, so this was new to him.

He thought it was a speciality item from the bakery and figured he had to do something manually, like you do when there’s a preordered sheet cake. So he input the code for sheet cake, weighed the bread like it was fresh produce [another thing he shouldn’t have done], and ended up with an expensive half loaf of bread.

He immediately realized he’d done something VERY WRONG so he called to the front end manager to come over to help, then as a way of explanation about what was going on he told this older man that: “I’m stupid.”

To which this older man, the customer, replied: “I’m Bob. Glad to meet ‘ya, Stupid.” 

Dad humor, obviously.

But the kind of humor that according to this cashier kid made him smile. In fact it was just what he needed to hear, realizing that Bob wasn’t upset, wasn’t going to yell at him. That everything was going to work out okay eventually.

And that’s how the cashier kid met Bob, the aforementioned waving customer in the first part of this story, who paid that day without any complaint about what happened. But on his way out Bob leaned over to tell this cashier kid that THE LESSON from this was to never tell anyone that you’re stupid.

Why?

Because they might remember something negative you say about yourself and use it against you in the future.

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252 thoughts on “Think Before You Speak: The One About The Cashier Kid And What Bob Taught Him”

  1. I still don’t like that he does that especially in front of other customers but I would not have put the kid on the spot. Growing up is hard enough without strangers interceding about something they know nothing about. Now, had there been malice in the man’s voice, that’s a totally different story. I don’t call cashiers stupid (because they aren’t) but I do know which ones are faster and frequent their checkout if I can.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Kate, I take your point about name-calling regardless of the situation. I felt sorry for this pleasant cashier kid. He was too young to know how to handle the chatty pushy woman, not having an inkling about how what had just happened, might be viewed as verbal abuse. And he seemed genuinely happy to see the older man. The kid had the look of a deer caught in the headlights.

      Liked by 5 people

    • Goes to show that statements need to be taken in context. There are always two sides. I personally don’t like the word stupid and feel for the cashier in the moment that he considered himself to be. Good on you to get to the bottom of the event and end what was turning into another embarrassing scene for the poor kid.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Jenn, you’re right. That is absolutely true. In this case being called *stupid* was acceptable [in as much as it ever is] and the chatty woman was making the cashier kid uncomfortable, unlike Bob and his dad humor. It was an unusual conversation all around.

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      • I don’t like “stupid”, either, and I do like that you got both sides of the story. To me, it reminds me of Albert Mehrabian’s work that showed that less than 10% of communication is the actual words spoke, the rest are the vocal cues, and more than half are the non-verbal cues (the smile? The twinkle in the eye? The friendly wave? The posture? Even the choosing the line that this cashier was operating). All too often we just “hear” the words and not the other 90%+?

        Liked by 2 people

        • EW, yes this was a situation in which the nonverbal cues told me the cashier kid was ok with being called Stupid by Bob. HOWEVER the chatty woman didn’t pick up on the cues so there we were waiting for the cashier kid to explain. Of course, his explanation was priceless so maybe I should be blessing the chatty woman for this blog post! 😉

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad that the woman stood up for the cashier even though she didn’t know the backstory (and how could she?). And I think that Bob needs to knock it off. Even though it’s an inside joke, it’s not very funny. You just don’t call someone stupid in public like that. I wish the cashier had the confidence to say, “Hey, I really don’t like that. Please call me (insert name). Thanks.”

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    • nance, good idea. I don’t know if the cashier kid will ever stand up for himself. I agree that telling Bob that he got his point seems like the way to go and put an end to this. However I also suspect that the cashier kid won’t be a longtime employee, most of these kids work a summer then go on with their lives elsewhere.

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  9. I’m glad you asked for the back story but I think Bob needs to stop doing that. He already made his point so he shouldn’t keep rubbing it in… It just obviously embarrasses the checker while he is working.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love that you butted in and got the backstory. It makes for another thought-provoking post. Bob is old school all the way. I think it wouldn’t bother me if Bob had left “stupid” as a one-liner, but then he tried to make insulting the kid a bond/ life lesson. And that feels intrusive and entitled…but also very patriarchal and outdated. Maybe Bob doesn’t realize that the world has changed and young folks are working on being supportive and forgiving over mistakes rather than using them as power trips. I can think of a few nicknames for Bob…

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    • AutumnAshbough, you said it: “very patriarchal and outdated” but it is the way of an older [let’s presume] sincere man who thinks he’s helping a good kid learn a life lesson. It was a conversation that had many aspects to it when you start deconstructing it.

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      • I feel like we–especially white women who’ve been socialized to be nice and not make a scene–too often give older, entitled men (and sometimes women) a pass on rude, often demeaning behavior. And it is entirely to white men’s benefit that we were socialized that way, wasn’t it? No one corrects them. No one points out that they are being mean, or abusive, or making people uncomfortable. Bob is sincere…sincerely confident he knows best and the old ways are best and by God, he can nickname a teen “stupid” and rationalize it if he wants. I wouldn’t condone that disrespectful behavior if it happened when two people were on equal footing and met socially, but I really dislike it when one is a teen and an employee providing a service that requires a certain amount of politeness to a customer. And now Bob feels like he has this jolly bond with the poor cashier because Bob has no concept that calling someone “stupid” is inappropriate and rude and makes him a bully. Because we never spoke up about it. Sigh.

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        • Yes. It’s not the things I’ve said that I regret, it’s the things I didn’t say in the face of older men’s rude demeaning behavior. I was socialized to be deferential instead of correcting them on the spot. I’m much more assertive now, not letting the Bobs of this world get away with their entitled behaviors unnoticed. They can dislike me all they want, but I fear that our cashier kid isn’t to the point of knowing how to speak up in his own behalf, whether it’s to Bob or to the chatty woman. Both were trying to teach him life lessons.

          Liked by 1 person

          • You’re right, speaking up for yourself is a hard lesson to learn, especially for Gen X women. I find we’re a lot more comfortable speaking up for others (especially white women for animals, LOL). I’m so heartened when I see Zoomers refusing to accept the ill-treatment and injustices we ignored.

            Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh my goodness…the poor cashier. I love what you shared, Ally, about asking the question which hung in the air…why, why, why…because it opened up a story that’s so relatable. Under stress, the sweet, young cashier was trying to problem-solve about a 1/2 a loaf a bread (you can buy a 1/2 a loaf? Clearly this carb-loving woman knows nothing of that!) and created quite a swirl for himself. Boy, oh boy…that’s me, under pressure. 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Eh, I think it’s a harmless inside joke. If the kid isn’t offended, nobody else should be, too. I’m in the minority here, but I don’t think the chatty woman should have butted in. But that’s just my take.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Mark, I didn’t think a second thing about it when Bob called the kid “stupid” but the chatty woman sure didn’t like it. Neither the cashier kid nor Bob seemed upset, it just seems like goofing off. I figured the cashier kid came from a family wherein people poked fun at each other, like it was in my family, so the kid took it in stride. HOWEVER I do think Bob has made his point now and should knock it off.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Eilene, I think Bob has made his point with a bit of dad humor and can now just wave *hello* when he sees the cashier kid in the future. What Bob will do, however, is anyone’s guess.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh my, there are so many layers to this story, some endearing in an odd way and some that clearly need to be examined from a 2023 POV. I’m really sort of stuck on the chatty women’s need to be indignant without doing exactly what you did AB, and asking why? She might want to look into being an *informed* social justice warrior rather than just a loud and overbearing one. Older man needs some info about where the use of the word stupid stands today, although it may not make a difference. I have to give cashier kid a kudos though for choosing to let it go- knowing as you said AB that he likely is on to bigger and better soon. Perhaps he’s already learned some adult wisdom in choosing to pick his battles, and which ones he’s willing to let go?

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    • Deb, you’ve summed this up perfectly. The chatty woman didn’t seem curious about the why of it, while the older man didn’t seem clued into how his words could be perceived. And there I stood looking at a pleasant cashier kid who didn’t seem peeved as much as confused by how any of this could be happening to him. I trust he’s learned something from the experience, but what exactly that is could be anyone’s guess.

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  15. Oh, I love this story, Ally!! There seems to be a bit of a divide, but I’m of the opinion that it’s a fun, harmless inside joke and a means of connection. As long as the cashier didn’t seem upset. It may not be politically correct, but I kind of love when people assign me “mean” nicknames that only we know understand. 😁

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    • Esoterica, you make a great point that as long as the cashier kid isn’t offended by Bob’s comment then we should accept it. I don’t know if I’d be as cool with being called stupid as the cashier kid is but then I’m older and more cynical than him. Interesting story, quite unexpected.

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  17. Such a good lesson in not making assumptions and judgments about others. That woman probably thought she was teaching the young man an important lesson, but he was way ahead of her. I wonder if she learned anything…. It’s time for Bob to stop reminding the kid of his earlier mistake, it’s clear the young man is anything but stupid.

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    • Donna, hear, hear! I agree with you. The cashier kid seems bright to me, but the chatty woman did stump him. He’s young and didn’t know how to politely shut her down. Also agree that Bob’s made his point, now he needs to shut up about it.

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  18. So glad the nice kid didn’t feel offended by Bob’s comment. You’re right that the chatty woman should have just kept quiet.
    Tim’s mom always told him that “if you just keep your mouth closed, no one will know how stupid you really are.” I think she was trying to tell him to just keep the peace.

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    • Beth, I don’t know why this bothered the chatty woman so much, but it did. And that poor cashier kid looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I felt sorry for him, so I’m glad I got the story out of him. Agnes was a sensible mother!

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  19. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me understands why the man is still calling the cashier “stupid” as a way to remind him that he is not. But part of me thinks it’s time for the man to just say, “Thank you. Have a good day.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Robin, I agree with you. I think Bob has made his point now and in the future could just wave and smile as he walks by the cashier kid, safe in the knowledge that his lesson has been learned.

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  20. I see the customer who called him “stupid” as being a friendly customer who made a connection with the cashier. If the cashier doesn’t have hurt feelings about it, I don’t see the harm. I see a bigger problem with the nosy woman making a big deal out of it. That’s my take.

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  21. Too bad the kid didn’t have the quick wit to say: Hey Bob! I’m good. By acknowledging the man by his name, the chatty woman might have realised that they “knew” each other and wouldn’t have pushed so hard.
    I’m glad you asked the why. It makes a huge difference in the story. Whether Bob should have shouted it out for all and sundry to hear is a whole ‘nother thing.
    Plus, if this hadn’t happened, what would you have blogged about today? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Your story proves that truth is stranger than fiction–and often more entertaining. I didn’t have time to listen to the 16+ minute video but I heard enough to remember that my mom called her “order” into the village grocery story. They wrote it down, scanned the shelves for her items and delivered them at no extra charge. Amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marian, my grandpa did that, too. He’d phone in his order to the Vine Street Market around the corner, then groceries were delivered in a box to his porch a few hours later. That’s how it was back in the day.

      I know the video is long but it mesmerized me. I didn’t know about all those logistics and have a new respect for modern grocery stores.

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      • Agreed, I’m glad to have the back story. It makes me uncomfortable when someone tries to fight a battle that isn’t theirs, but I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing – reason for cutting slack.

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        • That’s it. The chatty woman and Bob both thought they were helping the cashier kid, teaching him something. Why they thought it was their place to teach him is a whole different issue.

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    • Deborah, I agree with you. Bob, I believe, means well but should same the nickname for their ears only. However the cashier kid didn’t seem flustered with Bob as much as with the chatty woman. It was an unexpected conversation through and through.

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  26. Tricky one this but kudos to you Ally Bean for asking the question. (Luckily the cashier didn’t get too cute and say ‘why not’)
    If eg my husband or sons or friends say something like I’m hungry, or I’m tired, I may call them that for a bit. But there’s no need to reinforce a negative label publicly. Even if the recipient took no offence – and no offence was given.

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    • Susan, I had to find out the rest of the story, if for no other reason than to silence the chatty woman who was confusing the cashier kid. He really didn’t get her point.

      I agree that Bob has made his point now and should tone down the shouting *stupid* at the cashier kid. But I doubt if the cashier kid has the life experience yet to tell Bob to cool it. Maybe someday though…

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  27. Oh, brother. This poor cashier kid is really in the spotlight and it seems like he doesn’t enjoy it. I’m glad that customer man feels like they are buddies, but dude – stop calling him that, because then he will need to explain the backstory. Explaining himself seems to be something he is clearly not comfortable doing. I’m glad you asked for the background, because the context helped.

    Ah, teenage jobs. They can be a tad awkward, but also valuable learning experiences.

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    • Ernie, I think you’re right. The cashier kid is personable one-on-one as you go through the lane, but to be in the limelight may unnerve him more than making a massive mistake while ringing up bread did. I agree that Bob needs to shut up now, having made his point.

      You’re right about teenage jobs, valuable experience but also never what you expect them to be. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a summer job for the cashier kid, and he’ll be gone by the end of the month.

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  28. Wonderful story. Life is full of this type of ‘innocent’ behavior. I bet the kid and old man had more good laughs about it. Anyway, lesson learned and it’s also a good lesson that the kid demonstrated humility, something in short supply today.

    Liked by 1 person

    • srbottch, you’re right, the kid was humble but oh so baffled by what the chatty woman was on about. I felt sorry for him, cornered as he was, so I had to know *why* Bob was calling him stupid. Quite a story.

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  29. I find both Bob and the chatty woman annoying and overbearing, and it helps me understand why the Gen Z folks I know find so many Boomers annoying AF. I much more appreciate your stance of curiosity. I think the world would be a better place if we could all just be more curious and less judgey, ya know?

    But also, this reminds me of a soccer coach my daughter once had. He made up nicknames for many of the players, including his own daughter, who he called “Little Ugly.” He said that he was “Big Ugly,” but I never thought it was OK when he bellowed “Little Ugly” at her from the sidelines. He had an underlying mean streak (demonstrated in other ways), and it came out through his nicknames. I’m guessing Bob might have one, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rita, you nailed it. I’m older than Gen Z and have spent much of life thinking many Boomers are annoying AF. I get it. And Bob was a BOOMER first class, probably a mean one like you mention. While I think the message he pointed out to the cashier kid was a valid one, I also think that now he should just wave and smile when he goes by, not continue with *stupid* even if the cashier kid does take it in stride.

      A soccer coach called his child, his daughter, Little Ugly? Oh that is mean and suggests a complete lack of common sense. No idea of how hurtful that *fun* name could be.

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      • Yes, he did. And we moms worried about his wife and daughter. After one girl (and mind you, I think they were in only 4th or 5th grade) got knocked flat by a ball she didn’t see coming, and he stood over her and screamed at her to get up, many of us pulled our girls from the team. If he was like that in public, I always wondered what he was like at home. I’m guessing Bob is more harmless, but it says something when someone is so easily mean. And calling someone “stupid” is mean, regardless of the backstory.

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  30. Stupid is one of those words that I absolutely can’t stand. So glad you got the whole story. I’m sure Bob thinks he’s being funny but I think after one or two times he should ask the kid what his real name is.

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    • Janet, I completely agree with you. I understand why the cashier kid referred to himself as stupid, under the circumstances. And I get why Bob said what he said in the moment, but it’s over now. The cashier kid has a name, perhaps use it? I feel sorry of this cashier kid, trying hard to do his job, caught in a strange situation with Bob.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, good point about not making assumptions. I was fascinated with what the cashier kid had to say, so easy to understand what had happened, so amazing that Bob still thinks it’s a good idea to call the cashier kid *stupid.* A conversation most unexpected.

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  34. Oof. I’m with the others who think the joke has grown old. It was a great way of deflecting from the cashier’s original mean self-talk, but if it’s been a while, you have to let the joke go. I can see why no one wants to talk to the customer about it because it does seem to be coming from a good-natured place, but it’s still not a kind thing to repeatedly say to someone. But maybe I’m just too sensitive about the whole thing.

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    • NGS, I don’t think you’re too sensitive about this situation, I think you’re realistic. I agree that Bob taught the cashier kid a good lesson, but now it’s time for Bob to either use the cashier kid’s real name when he walks by or only call him Stupid when it’s the two of them, like the inside joke it should be. Odd conversation all around, totally didn’t expect this when I went grocery shopping.

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  35. Oh, I love that you jumped in to ask the obvious question. What a way to dispel the awkwardness that Bob and Chatty had cooked up. But I agree with the other comments, it’s time for Bob to drop the joke.

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  36. By the time I finished scrolling through the comments, I was so irritated I nearly clicked out. The woman in the story should have kept her mouth shut, and the tendency of people today to judge situations of every sort from the outside drives me crazy. I have been known to say of myself, “Gosh, I’m an idiot” or some such, and it’s nothing more than a self-deprecating, slightly humorous acknowledgement of being wrong, uninformed, and so on. The cashier’s “I’m stupid” may have been little more than a way to cover embarassment, but the man’s response was fine. Saying that the cashier “should” have responded in a different way seems presumptuous, at best. After all, some of the pet names used in my extended family could seem insensitive or uncaring to people who don’t know their history.

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    • Linda, the chatty customer was something else. I felt sorry for the cashier kid, he had no idea what she was on about making references to verbal abuse, having I suspect not thought of Bob’s *stupid* comment as a problem.

      I agree that we all say less than positive things about ourselves when under stress and that’s exactly what happened when the cashier kid said he was stupid. And, obviously, in that moment Bob’s dad humor reply helped the cashier kid feel better about himself.

      The real issue seems to be whether Bob is overstepping his place as a customer by continuing to call the cashier kid *stupid* when he sees him. It seems unnecessary to me considering the cashier kid does have a proper name. BUT if the cashier kid is okay with it and doesn’t tell Bob to shut up, then I doubt that Bob will change his ways.

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  38. Well. I actually watched all 16 minutes of the video — including the last minute-or so about the content for their other videos. I learned about how grocery supply chains, and how grocery distribution centers work. I certainly had no idea that pallets actually prevent automation, yet they remain intrinsic to storing merchandise. I learned about grapes and how central California grapes arrive at a certain time of the year vs. when the South American ones arrive. Oreos were discussed too (I love Oreos). You’re right, Amy, it was actually mesmerizing!

    Oh, and Bob really should have kept his private joke… private. – Marty

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    • Marty, I’m glad you enjoyed the video. I was completely absorbed while watching it. I didn’t know most of what it said and am amazed by what goes on to keep food available to me. It seems like we all should be more grateful for the 33,000 items available in the average grocery store.

      I agree about Bob, but he’s found his audience of one I guess. Still what a story.

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  39. Some people can’t keep their nose out of other people’s business. Working retail and dealing with customers has all kinds of moments. Since they had no obvious animosity toward each she should have left well enough alone.

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  40. I feel bad for the cashier only because the man said it out loud. I also think the customer aggravated the situation by drawing attention to it. I might have asked him, “Is that a friend or family member?” If he said no, I would have said, “I’m sorry he said that to you,” and dropped it.

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  41. While I think that Bob gave the kid a good lesson, I also think that kind of thing wears pretty thin over time. Perhaps the lesson now is to speak up for himself and tell Bob not to do that anymore.

    Grocery stores are interesting. I live in a rural area so even our big box stores are not quite as big as you’d find in a city. But what I’ve noticed is since the pandemic, we have a lot fewer choices and many of those choices appear to be just not manufactured anymore. It’s not so much that I object to fewer choices – let’s face it, have you looked at the toothpaste aisle lately? But our store shelves remain half empty and many of the things I had grown to love are not to be found. Is this true if big cities? Or bigger cities at least?

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    • Zazzy, I’m with you. Bob’s lesson was spot on, but shouting *stupid* at the cashier kid now seems unkind. I hope the cashier kid sticks up for himself, although I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that this was only a summer job for him.

      Our shelves are well stocked now. The biggest change I see is that product sizes are quietly shrinking. Our cereal aisle is filled with smaller-sized boxes now. The picture on the box looks exactly the same, but it is a few ounces lighter than before. Same with condiments and bars of cheese. But as to consistent shortages, not often anymore. Sorry you’re experiencing that still.

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  42. A good reminder that there’s probably always a story behind the story. I love that you came to the kids rescue by asking the simple “Why?” question. You may also gave helped him to clarify some of his feelings in the process.

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    • Julia, you’re right, there is a story behind most stories. I found out about this one despite the chatty woman’s outrage. I mean, I just had to know WHY? Nice kid, he’ll do fine in life, I’m sure.

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  43. I love the moral of this story, but I do think it’s weird that the older man – who I’m sure is very nice – calls the cashier Stupid in a voice loud enough for others to hear. I would feel taken aback by that if I had overheard it. Like, maybe just call him by his name?

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    • Nicole, I agree that calling the cashier kid by his given name would be okay, but Bob has a loud voice and apparently likes to share the inside joke with all who overhear. Nice cashier kid, I’m sure he’s going to thrive in spite of it but… really Bob?

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  45. Quickly taking offence seems to be a growing characteristic. Everyone is toxic, abusive (either verbally, emotionally, physically or all three), discriminatory, or hostile. Given how easily these accusations seem to be thrown about, the real abuses become hidden, buried under false accusations and rhetoric. Thankfully you came to the rescue in this situation. While I think the joke between the customer and cashier has worn out its welcome, it’s important to remember that often, things are not what they seem. Great post; thanks.

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    • Lynette, I felt sorry for the cashier kid because he clearly didn’t know what to say to the chatty woman. The conversation between the Bob and the cashier kid upset her, obviously. While I didn’t think much about it at the time, I admit that after hearing the cashier kid’s story about being called stupid made more sense. BUT I also think that enough already with it, Bob. Say “hi” to the cashier kid all you want, just use his name. However the cashier kid didn’t seem upset so what do I know?

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  47. Here’s hoping that Bob quits calling the kid stupid sometime before the kid has to tell him to knock it off…

    I really enjoyed the video. Inventory management and control has always been my area of expertise, albeit in hospitals and utility companies. Nice to see how other folks do it…

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    • John, you said it. I don’t know if the cashier kid will ever tell Bob to tone it down, but if he does you know Bob will do it immediately.

      I found the video fascinating. I had no idea how food found its way to the shelves in my grocery and am in awe of the logistics involved. Glad it rang true with you, you’d know if it was off.

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  48. I guess it’s a good lesson, but I don’t think it needs reinforced every time the old guy sees the poor kid. Maybe Chatty Cathy needs a lesson in holding up the line?

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    • Bijoux, ha! You raise a good point. I was stuck behind this woman, forced to endure hearing her pester this cashier kid. I could have done without that, but I did end up with an interesting blog story.

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  49. Yikes! I don’t think that man should continue to call the poor cashier “Stupid.” Completely inappropriate because almost everyone who hears it isn’t in on the background story. Who knows, perhaps the chatty one had been called something similar by an abuser and has learned to stand up for herself. Not knowing the background (why would she?), she felt it important to push back.

    Your post made me wonder what I would have done in the situation. I’m not normally chatty so I might just have let it go. Sometimes pushing back, or asking questions, is the healthier way to react. We never know the challenges others have faced or are currently facing.

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    • Janis, I don’t know the deets but the chatty woman took immediate offense to the cashier kid being called stupid. You’re right that it probably hit a nerve with her and she certainly wasn’t one to remain quiet. 🙄

      I was curious about why in the world this older man was calling this nice cashier kid stupid and why the kid was okay with it. One thing about my liberal arts collegiate education was that I was encouraged [forced?] to ask WHY when something makes little sense to me. This seemed like the perfect time to speak up.

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  52. Bob has made his point – which is valid. Now he needs to knock it off. The kid on the other hand is a good sport, which speaks volumes about him.

    I guess my question is what was Bob’s tone? And did the chatty women hear the tone or only the word? I think sometimes we neglect to hear the tone in which the words are uttered. And sometimes the tone speaks volumes about the context.

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    • Gigi, most commenters have said the same thing that Bob made a good point, but now shut up. I agree that cashier kid is a good sport about it all. I predict great things for him in life.

      Very good observation about the tone of voice. The chatty woman might be immune from tones of voice. I don’t think Bob meant to be annoying, just funny in his old guy way.

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  54. A provocative topic. I don’t find fault (I know you aren’t either) with the woman as she thought she was standing up for this young man. This scenario reminds me of the old television show called “What Would You Do?” which put bystanders in unenviable situations where they witnessed awful behavior. Would they act or go about their business?

    I understand that Bob’s actions were not to put the kid down, but it’s understandable how someone could misread that situation.

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    • Pete, this was one of those situations that I couldn’t dream up if I wanted to. Like you I think the chatty woman was trying to point out something to the cashier kid, but he was baffled. And I think that Bob was also trying to point something out. Life lessons, both of them. But this poor cashier kid, who I really like, was surprised by both of them. I get that, he’s only about 18 y.o.

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    • joyroses13, I had to know the rest of the story so I asked. I agree that while Bob’s advice was sound when needed, it’s over now. Time to address the cashier kid by his given name.

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  56. Always a good idea to think before you speak but sometimes it just rolls right out of the mouth. 🙂 Good story and interesting video. I am always amazed at how each grocery store is different and has its own vibe. We shop Kroeger if we are in the south, but at home we shop Hannaford. If I’m shopping, I go to one store location, but if my husband is shopping he prefers another location. Interesting.

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    • Judy, my aunt lived in MA and shopped in Hannaford. I remember that it was different, had more of a market vibe, than good ole big box Kroger. I also understand about shopping in different locations. We regularly go to three different Kroger because they’re each a different size with slightly different merchandise. So depending on what we need we head west, farther west, or east.

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  57. I love how you asked the question Why so that there was more to the story. When elderly people find a way to connect with the youth they don’t always think about what is politically correct. My dad (who has early-onset Alzheimer’s) always does things like this. 😂 Ironically, those who judge their motives for connection might not know that may be the case. The video was interesting. On another interesting sidenote, at the bottom of your blog where it shows other posts similar to the category of this post, it appears that summertime (July and August) is your favorite time to post about happenings at the grocery store. 🤔😉 Happy summer shopping to you, Ally!

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    • Shelley, you’re right that it can be difficult for older people to connect with youth and Bob might be doing it in the only way he knows how to do it, politeness be damned. Excellent point about dementia in the elderly, too.

      The video mesmerized me. I had no idea how food gets into my grocery store and feel better informed now because of it. As for me writing about grocery experiences in the summer, I have a tag called “Grocery Store Chronicles” and now I’m going to check to see how many of the posts are summer ones. Good observation.

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    • Shelley, a fast review of my Grocery Store Chronicles tag shows that I post on this topic:

      31% in the fall
      28% in the summer
      25% in the spring
      16% in the winter

      What this says about me? I love to do little statistical studies for the heck of it. 🤓

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      • I love it that you dug into the stats more…now it makes me wonder how is the algorithm set for what is displayed in the bottom of a post that shows the readers other posts about the same topic – there are only three there when I looked. One in July and 2 in August. Maybe by date/time of year? Or maybe there was some other key word that tied them together! 🤔 🤣

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        • I often wonder why the three other posts at the bottom of a new post are the ones that WP chooses to put there. Sometimes it seems completely random, sometimes like this time it seems kind of logical. Another mystery of life! 😜

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  60. Cute story with lots of lessons to ponder. I’ll bet the old guy gets a kick out of sharing a life lesson and hasn’t considered that the joke is getting stale. The poor boy spends the next twenty minutes explaining why it happens instead of responding – ‘inside joke,’ and moving on. People butt in to help when help isn’t needed – we all have a bit of hero syndrome within. And, sometimes we just cut to the chase and ask ‘why’ and get an acceptable answer. Eventually, the boy will mature enough to say, ‘Hi Bob, I’m Jake’ and while that might end the disruption, it will will likely crush old guys’ day. No one wins.

    When you think about it, the supermarket really is a study of humanity, Great story.

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    • Suzanne, I imagine you’re right about Bob, he still thinks his experience with the cashier kid is a hoot so he keeps on with it, makes Bob feel useful. Until the cashier kid tells Bob to cool it, it’s not going to stop. I also agree about people wanting to be a hero, hence the chatty woman trying to save the cashier kid from what she took to be verbal abuse.

      And me, what was I trying to do during all this? Just buy some groceries! 🙄

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  61. This story really has me thinking about something we say to our kids a lot: “A joke is only funny if everyone’s laughing.” Sometimes our words really hurt, and sometimes things like this are genuinely seen as affectionate. I have no idea where on the spectrum this falls with the cashier and Bob. If the cashier likes it, I have no problem with it. But maybe, subconsciously even, it bothers him. I HAVE QUESTIONS FOR both the cashier AND Bob.

    The story is a touching one, though.

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    • Elisabeth, that’s a great thing to tell your kids, many adults need to hear that, too. It seemed like the cashier kid was okay with Bob calling him a name, BUT I don’t know if the cashier kid is afraid of losing his job, that he might really need, so he puts up with it even if it bothers him. I will say that this cashier kid seems solid to me, not one to be a hothead, so he might actually just not care about what some old coot, like Bob, says.

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  62. Personally, I think the moral of the story is: don’t assume others are offended by the same things you are. Although I wouldn’t have kept calling the kid “stupid,” especially in front of others, clearly it didn’t bother the cashier. If I were the woman who witnessed it, I would have thought it odd but also noted the kids’ response and not made an issue of it. (And I guess the second moral of the story is: don’t use “inside” jokes in front of others…they don’t get them!)

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  64. When I began working at the diner after high school before starting college, we had a very old cash register. You had to calculate the “change back” in your head. My manager, whose granddaughter worked Saturdays and Summer vacations/school breaks like I did, did not know how to make change and he told her never to use the register. I waitressed by myself on Sundays, just the cook and me. Anyway, so I ran the register between waiting on people. I was told whatever money I was handed to lay it on top of the “till” until I made change so no unscrupulous diner would say they gave me more than they did. I always did that, except once – we were swamped and I put the money in the drawer first … it was a diner in 1973 so most people gave me a five, a ten maybe if several people – this guy said he gave me a twenty and “the customer is always right” right? But I knew he gave me a five and I said that to him. He got mad. My manager came over and asked what happened … guy was squawking that I tried to cheat him. My manager was a wonderful man – I liked him a lot and he didn’t get mad at me and said in front of the customer “I believe you Linda – we’ll see if the till comes up short tonight” and sure enough it did. Creep – I never forgot that and no matter how busy I was, I refused to get rattled again. That customer never returned and we had never seen him before either.

    I buy my toothpaste a lot at a time because it’s anyone’s guess where they will move the brand/type I use – my eyes run together trying to hone in on toothpaste, even toothbrushes. The other day I had to buy lightbulbs – 45 minutes later I finally got what I needed, going shelf by shelf, weeding out the “dimmable” bulbs. I bought two packages of each, but still didn’t get the 150W comparable LCD after my CFL burned out with a little flash – no more CFLs for me.

    As to the video, I’ve never done Walmart except years ago as they had a great selection of jigsaw puzzles and my mom would get them there. I loved my small grocery store, Farmer Jack, which was like Kroger used to be and still is to an extent … I did not have to go from one end of the store to the other to pick up a few items. I park my cart in the middle and dash to different areas … faster, more efficient, get my steps in.

    At least now, dealing with Meijer, if I see something on sale I really want (a product, rather than food), I check online before I head out the door, then go there first.

    I went to high school with a guy who works for a marketing company that does nothing but go to various supermarkets to give customers the optimum experience due, like curb appeal inside the supermarket and feasibility studies on how to improve and get more customers.

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    • Linda, I’m glad your manager stood up for you. Obviously the customer was pulling a scam. I remember making change from an old register and doing what you were supposed to do, leave the bill on top, make change, then put the bill where it belonged. Hadn’t thought about doing that for a long time.

      I rarely shop at Walmart because they’re nowhere near to where I live. I’d have to drive by two Kroger, a Meijer, a Whole Foods, a Gordon Foods, and a Fresh Thyme before I’d get to one. Not worth the drive.

      Making a marketing plan for grocery stores would be interesting, if only because customer preferences change quickly and food availability is varied. You’d have to be on top of trends. I liked the video, it was eye-opening.

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      • Ally, the one time I was swamped and didn’t do the routine – $15.00 short at the register. My manager knew he lied all along. I’d say 95% of our clientele were regulars, mostly from the South who moved north for jobs in the auto plants. My manager and his wife (who worked there as well) were from Alabama, so they came to Carter’s everyday to eat and talk about “back home” and reminisce.

        Our nearest Walmart had a lot of muggings – another reason I never went. My mom also ordered puzzles from puzzle catalogs or we got them at Hallmark.

        It sounded like an interesting career. He had a degree in Broadcast Journalism and couldn’t find a job so he tried something different and is now a VP at Mathew Casey & Assoc. Yes it was eye opening.

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        • I can understand why you stay away from Walmart. I’d order online, too. More and more I realize how little the subject you major in college turns out to be your career path. We all adapt.

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          • I was in Meijer on Monday for the light bulbs and I decided to just walk there as it was so stifling hot outside. I was far away from the door and all of a sudden I heard a woman scream and loud shouting between a man and a woman … didn’t know what to make of it, but it made me uneasy. I took the bulbs and myself and hightailed it to the cash register. Yes, we all adapt with career paths gone awry – in retrospect Bob lucked out as the broadcast journalism industry is sometimes unforgiving, especially after you are older.

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    • Suz, I agree. Like I said I didn’t think a thing of it when Bob shouted *stupid* at the cashier kid, but somehow that provoked the chatty lady. [Beat there’s a story there.] And while I think Bob should save the inside joke for when he goes through the checkout lane with the cashier kid instead of shouting it for all to hear, the cashier kid didn’t seem upset, just kind of surprised. As we all were.

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  66. Late to the party and it seems that in the 177 comments above each of my thoughts were not unique! One never knows the inside story unless they are on the inside of the story. Bernie

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  67. That’s a great story. And what a great comeback from Bob to deflate the stressful situation. But how awkward that the other customer then made things tense. I wonder if she wound up reporting that customer.

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    • L. Marie, good question. I’ve no idea if the chatty woman went to the service counter to report Bob. I wouldn’t put it past her. This situation brought out the demons in her, somehow. It was odd.

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  69. Oh dear. A good example of misunderstanding and incorrect assumptions. It is unlikely that anyone would bat an eyelid here in Australia, although if they did, I might say the guy calling the cashier stupid was a little rude. Having said that though, it was well intentioned and guys here often call each other names in jest. It’s a bit of a way to show you are a ‘mate,’ we don’t take ourselves so seriously here. And no-one knows all the circumstances of another persons’ situation so we shouldn’t assume that we do. One could see how this would seem strange.

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    • Amanda, I didn’t think a thing about Bob calling the cashier kid stupid, knowing like you said that guys often give each other rude nicknames because they perceive it as friendly. I also agree that many Americans take themselves too seriously, hence the chatty woman’s indignity and pressing need to make sure that the cashier kid knew about verbal abuse. I just wanted to buy my groceries, quickly without a fuss, but that was not to be. 🙄

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      • It is curious how a shopping trip can rapidly turn into such a diverse discussion. It is kind of like an opinion survey without being a survey. Do you think more people are hyper-vigilant for injustice or perceived wrongs? Or are they just more visible and speak up about it, feeling that they are doing the correct thing morally?

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        • Around here people usually mind their own business, it’s part of what’s called *midwest nice.* I know that the national news stations [TV & web] would have you believe that there are a lot of hyper-vigilant people shouting/whining about injustice all the time. It may be true overall nationally, but not so much around here.

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          • It is really great to hear that people carry the dignity of minding their own beeswax in the midwest Ally. But then that begs the question, will they speak out if they see something truly awful that needs to be called out?

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            • THAT is the question, isn’t it? I know that I speak out against certain issues like misogyny and racism and authoritarianism, but I don’t do it in a big deal way. Just in a quieter, here’s how I see it way, then I let it go– while never totally trusting anyone who doesn’t understand that they’re empowering the worst aspects of our society. My job is not to change people, it’s to be aware of them.

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              • Reading that you understand that your job is not to change people, is actually something I needed to apply obliquely in my own life today, Ally. Thanks for saying that at the right time for me to hear it, even though it is quite unrelated to our discussion. I love that you speak out, but in a quieter, Gandhi-like way, against injustice. It is prudent to have your guard up when encountering anyone who dismisses the big social picture.

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  70. Gosh Ally, so many layers to this grocery queue experience. Nothing that interesting ever happens to me in grocery stores – I’m a tad envious 😀

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    • Deb, I can guarantee you that I wasn’t looking for an interesting experience when I picked this lane to go through. Still once it unfolded I began deconstructing it in my mind, thus it ended up here.

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  71. Loved this story. You always have the great stories – maybe because you ask why?! I think maybe that’s the takeaway for Bob and the woman. Just be nice.

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    • Katie, I agree with your conclusion about this conversation: be nice. In college I majored in English Lit and we were encouraged to keep on asking WHY. I don’t remember much about the lit I read but I do remember how to ask WHY!

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  72. I bet the woman felt a little silly when she heard the complete story. You know what they say about assuming, right? I’m glad you asked the question and found out that it was a life lesson between the two of them that was meant to be humorous. I would tell, Bob, though, not to yell that out loud in front of others, to save the kid from awkward conversations in the future.

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    • Mary, you’re right about not making assumptions. I’ve no idea what the chatty woman thought of this story, but I liked it. Made sense. However, like you said, it’d be better if Bob toned it down in the future, maybe just mentioned *stupid* when it was only him and the cashier kid.

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  73. Oh, inside jokes are always bad when they can be taken the “wrong way” by people who don’t know the backstory. It’s clear that Bob didn’t mean this kid no harm, in fact, he tried to be nonchalant about the mistake and was kind to teach him a lesson in the process…. unfortunately, nobody knew that when he casually called him “stupid” again during this interaction. So glad you asked to hear the backstory!

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    • San, you said it. Bob meant nothing bad when he called the cashier kid *stupid* but it did sound unkind. I asked about the story because I was curious, but also because the chatty woman in front of me was never going to get out my way. She was a character, maybe more than Bob even.

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  74. I love this story! Thanks for sharing Ally. To me, it seems like the man took the sting out of the word ‘stupid’ for the boy. His use of the word in this context seems to be reminding the boy that he’s not stupid. It’s good to see friendly banter still being used, sometimes we have a tendency take things too seriously.

    Also a good reminder not to get too involved in other people’s business, if the boy was ok with it then I don’t think it was the woman’s place to get involved! Good on you for asking the right question Ally.

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    • Rae Cod, I agree, if the cashier kid was okay with Bob calling him Stupid then so be it, even if I think that it’d be better to do so privately not publicly. But that’s introverted me talking.

      I didn’t think much about what Bob said when it happened, but the chatty woman had a different take on it. She was offended and while I’m sure she meant well, she confused the cashier kid. He had no idea that what had just happened might be considered verbal abuse. Such a weird scene to play out in front of me, she who just wanted to buy some groceries. 🙄

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  75. Pingback: Inspirations – The Heart of the Matter

  77. I love when a story is born from the briefest of interactions (and this one was really good). I always greet people in customer service with their names (why else would they wear nametags?), with hopes we’ll take those few seconds to get to know each other a little. Share a joke. Make each other’s day. Whatever. Makes the world go ’round with a little friendlier spin.

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    • Dave, my husband is good about using first names, too. I agree that anything that makes the world a little friendlier is worth the effort. I liked the cashier kid’s story about Bob, but do think Bob might want to keep the inside joke quieter. As for the chatty woman… I dunno what her deal was, but I hope she meant well.

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  78. A good story. For me, the boy and the man came off as the good guys (although the man might have been more discreet in teasing the boy). The chatty woman was the unlikable one, the person who was more concerned with her “rules” than with kindness and understanding. But then, maybe I’m being unkind to her.

    Years ago, my daughter told me a story about a supermarket. The year the Soviet Union fell, she’d just graduated from college with a major in Russian studies, so she got a job with the bishop of Anchorage who sent her to Magadan in the Russian Far East. At one point, she brought some girls from the youth choir on a short trip to Anchorage. When she took them to the supermarket, they sat down and cried. Two reasons: They’d never seen so much food, and they were overcome by the impossibility of making a choice with all those possibilities.

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    • Nicki, I agree with you. I thought that the interaction between the cashier kid and Bob was just nothing much other than some male bonding teasing. If the cashier kid was upset by it, I didn’t sense that. However the chatty woman kind of went off the rails about it. I figure it provoked something in her, but who knows what.

      That’s an amazing story about the youth choir girls in the supermarket. It’s understandable given the context but sad too. I know that I’m accustomed to navigating a supermarket, dealing with the choices– and I get overwhelmed. I can only imagine how impossible it looked to someone not used to it.

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        • Mona, I cannot get my comment to go through on your blog. The message from WP is: “There has been a critical error on this website.” Don’t know any other way to tell you this than through this comment. Also, I like double spaces after sentences… just saying. 😉

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          • Thanks, Ally. I keep telling my tech guy that people can’t comment. I’ll add you to that list. My tech guys says he’s working on it. Since I contacted him on Monday and it’s Friday, I guess he’s either taking an early Labor Day Weekend or he’s trying to still figure out what’s going on or…I have no idea. I haven’t heard back from him, though. It’s really difficult to run a blog when no one can comment. I appreciate your reading and your input, my friend! BTW, it took me forever to learn not to double space after a period. Sometimes I revert back and catch myself. Also, there was a time when I was writing for business, writing in APA format for school and, also, writing informally. Talk about blowing my mind with all of the different structures and rules! Ah, the good ole days! Have a great Labor Day Weekend, Ally! 🙂

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            • Good luck with your tech guy. I agree that having a blog without comments is… just a website, I guess.

              The thing is I like double spaces, I like the visual break. It’s like negative space in interior design, which I also like. But OH WELL people more important than me are making the rules! Happy Labor Day Weekend to you, too.

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              • Just tried to leave a comment on your latest post and after I hit publish for the comment… your blog disappeared entirely. Just a white screen, no sparkling you anywhere.

                Also thanks for the shoutout.

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  81. The video about grocery store logistics was utterly fascinating! Next time I go shopping I will be thinking about how all those choices on the shelves got there. And Dad humor, how dull life would we be without it…

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    • Barbara, I liked the video, too. I couldn’t stop watching it, totally engrossed in something I didn’t know about and appreciate. Like you, now when I shop in the grocery I’m contemplating how the food got onto the shelves. I rather liked Bob’s dad humor, too. It saved the day for the cashier kid.

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      • Hi Ally Bean! I come to your blog for your humor and wit. I usually leave after a good laugh, chuckle or smile. I’m with Barbara that the grocery store video was so interesting and I was laughing with all the available peanut butter varieties! I was waiting to see if there was one that advertised peanut flavor without the nuts for those with nuts allergies. Personally I often stand there trying to decide which product I want, then get so overwhelmed with the quantity of selection that I leave or a grocery person comes to ask me if they could help me because they have spotted me in their spy videos thinking that I must be a potential shop lifter because I’ve been standing there so long. Yes it takes me hours to shop, mind boggling for me. Though I can’t say that it was better a century ago either. I’m certain that I appreciate grocery stores which for me is better than the alternative of growing and manufacturing all my own food and supplies. Thank goodness for grocery stores!!

        Love your wit Ally Bean and your story and the grocery store education!

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        • TD, that video had me mesmerized, I couldn’t look away. I mean I knew that all those products had to find their way to the shelves, but WOW! I understand you being overwhelmed when shopping in a modern grocery. Sometimes I feel the same way. I know that when I write a shopping list I am so incredibly specific that it seems anal retentative, but when I’m in the store it’s what anchors me to reality.

          I agree with you, that despite how tricky it can be to find what you want in a grocery, thank goodness they exist. As for the cashier kid I do like his spirit.

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    • Neil, good point. Bob is loud and annoying, thinking he’s so clever to call the cashier kid *stupid* when in fact if he said it more kindly, more as a pleasant aside, then no one would think a thing about it. BUT it’s my guess that Bob likes attention and has found a way to get it.

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  83. Wow, your story went sideways in such a remarkable way. First, I wasn’t happy with the man (granddad?) using the word ‘stupid,’ but the way the female customer nagged at the young cashier was worse. Yes, she should have kept her mouth shut. Our young people – teens in this case – need to know how to vend for themselves in work and in life. I’m thinking about how I was (lightly) sexually harassed as a teenager by older men (I worked summers in a golf club) and figured out how to challenge the men with their comments, winks, and pats on the rear. I would have been embarrassed if someone had come to my defense. I HAD to Figure IT OUT.
    Then we come to the real story in the grocery store, and it’s sweet and funny and even though “stupid” is not a word we want to hear, yes the older gent taught the teen a lesson while also using humor and telling the teen to relax. I totally understand what the older man was doing (and it’s something I’ve seen my guy use, but more like if I say, “I’m hungry,” he’ll say “I’m Jerry nice to meet you.”) Argggghhh. I laugh and cringe (cause believe me, it’s not the first time). But we need humor in our lives, and a way to think and learn outside of the box.

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    • Pam, I agree with all you said. The chatty woman made the cashier kid more uncomfortable than Bob did by calling him stupid, I could see and sense that as I stood there. IF the cashier kid wants Bob to stop shouting “Hi Stupid” at him he’s going to have to tell Bob to cool it. Because like you said he needs to take charge of it. Whether he will is anyone’s guess, but the chatty woman wasn’t exactly helping in this situation, confusing the cashier kid with the term “verbal abuse.”

      Clearly Bob was an okay guy and I think the cashier kid appreciated him. I adored hearing the cashier kid explain, in detail, what he did wrong that first day and how Bob wasn’t upset. I remember being a teenager working and you just never knew what was going to upset the adults. I also agree with Bob that the lesson was to speak well of yourself.

      [My guess is that the cashier kid, who seems sane and balanced, comes from a family where people joke around with each other, so when Bob calls him *stupid* it doesn’t even phase him. He gets the good intent behind it.]

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      • Yes to all of this. Unfortunately, my father used to say to my younger brother, “come on, stupid,” when brother didn’t understand something. As the older sister with the good grades, I flinched but didn’t say anything. Today, I wish I had. On the other hand, my brother is smarter and more successful than I’ll ever be! 🙂 So he got over it and made his own way.

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        • Different times back then. It was called male bonding, insulting names proved you loved each other. Today it sounds antiquated but in our childhood it wasn’t uncommon. Still I take your point about realizing how you could have stopped it– and didn’t.

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  84. Ally, there are so many things to applaud in this story and yet ones that just make me sigh! Good for you for intervening and rescuing the young cashier, to listening to his story. That was sweet and understand he likes the connection he made with the older guy but still … repeatedly being called ‘stupid’ even in a kind way is not ideal. As for the other pushy woman – total lack of empathy to the discomfort she was causing for this young employee.

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    • Annika, your conclusions are the same ones I came to. I like this cashier kid, he’s smart and pleasant, but until he tells Bob to not call him Stupid, I think it’s going to continue. In the moment when Bob used dad humor to smooth over the situation it was good, but now… not so much.

      I don’t know the backstory about why the chatty woman was so upset, but it hit a nerve in her. And that poor kid standing there was clueless about what she was on about.

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  85. This story reminds me of my husband and one of our teenager granddaughters. When she was little she told her grandpa, “It’s opposite day, so I hate you, but that means I really love you.” She thought it was so funny that now all these years later, whenever she is leaving our house, she says, “I hate you Papa!” He responds, “I hate you too.” It’s their thing. I can only imagine what someone would think if they overheard that conversation. Luckily, they don’t do it in public places. Even still, I don’t get in on this little game of theirs. I’m too squeamish about that word.

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    • Christie, oh this is a perfect story about how words can mean different things to people, depending on the context. I think a similar thing is what is happening between Bob and the cashier kid. From the outside it looks/sounds odd, but to them it’s okay.

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  86. Wow, this is a great story because it can bring up all kinds of discussion. I would have liked this one for class when I was teaching. That woman was completely out of line. The man was out of line, too. If I were being helped by the kid when it happened, I would have said something like, “Haha, I assume you know that guy!” The kid would have said, “Yeah, he’s a customer here.” And I would have dropped it or, as you did, ask why he called him that. Anyway, that’s what i think I would have done–and the reason I would have said anything is that to ignore that comment would be weird, too. But it’s good to be tolerant and not jump all over people for stuff that you think is inappropriate. For example, the man could have progressive dementia and be proud of himself for remembering the kid’s name :).

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    • Luanne, this was a situation that, like you said, brings up all sorts of discussion topics. I watched the conversation unfold, truly amazed. I don’t know what the deal was with the chatty woman but the brief exchange between the cashier kid and Bob set her off. And the poor cashier kid had no idea of how to handle her.

      Another commenter also mentioned that Bob could be in early stages of senior dementia and for him remembering the name for the cashier kid was a kind of victory. I hadn’t thought of that but it could be possible. All I know is the cashier kid didn’t seem to mind being called Stupid, so if he did he hid it well. I suspect that he’ll go far in life, seemed like a sensible kid.

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