A Tale In Which The Beans Triumph Over That Which Does Not Belong Inside Their House

/ Ally Bean

Here’s a story, a snippet of life, that’s never happened here before. Please join me while I say a quiet prayer that it doesn’t happen again.

THE BEST WAY TO TELL this tale is to start by telling you that we have a new Oxo food strainer in the kitchen. There’s a reason for this purchase that I will share, BUT first I must explain what was going on at this house a few Saturday mornings ago.

To wit, if you happened to be driving by around 8:00 a.m. and noticed that Zen-Den in his plaid flannel pajama bottoms and white v-neck undershirt was running out the front door holding a food strainer at arm’s length in front of him, you might have been curious.

Further because you’re a person who pays attention you’d have noticed that he was barefoot as he darted through the front yard, making a hasty retreat to the back of the property where there is the big ole forest primeval.

A place where certain critters, alive or dead, belong.

Unlike the place inside our house where he and I found a certain live critter that did not belong.

• • •

YOU SEE WE FOUND a garden snake, about a foot long, slithering around the baseboards in our walk-in closet. I’m not a fan of snakes, albeit I understand they’re useful in the whole scheme of things and I’m cool with that as long as they are nowhere near me.

Or my clothes and shoes.

Particularly the idea of my shoes.

Which this snake may or may not have been in prior to being discovered.

At this point, my gentle readers and kind lurkers, you’re probably asking yourself two things: 1) HOW did this snake get into the house; and 2) WHAT did the Beans do about the situation.

I shall address these questions in the order asked.

• • •

HOW THIS HAPPENED: Because nothing goes smoothly for me, after about two years of dithering around and being indecisive about, we bought a new mattress: a Stearns & Foster Lux Estate with an adjustable base.

It is swanky and ever so comfortable.

However it’s heavy, thus requiring that the front door be open for a long time, many times, while the delivery men carefully carried the new mattress and then the frame into the house. Not to mention that the old mattress + box springs and its frame were taken out of the house through the same open front door.

We think that during the time the door was open, a garden snake who we’d seen living under a bush by the front door, decided to visit. It was hot and humid outside, cool and dark inside, so he decided to go on an adventure.

Which he did by sneaking into our house unnoticed.

Eventually making his way upstairs to our bedroom closet.

[I refuse to entertain the idea that the snake came in with the new mattress and frame. If that is so I’d be too freaked out to sleep on the new bed, so don’t even go there with that idea.]

• • •

WHAT WE DID: Upon discovering the snake in the closet the Beans, who you may remember are no strangers to unwanted critters inside their house, sprung into action. He went to the basement to get a wooden mallet out of his tool bucket while I went into the kitchen to get our food strainer.

His idea, smash it to smush. My idea, capture it in the strainer.

In the end we both prevailed.

Z-D was able to subdue the snake using the mallet to whack it on its head a few times. Then using the strainer I handed to him, he scooped up the probably dazed [but maybe dead] snake. He ran downstairs, out the front door, to the back of the property where he threw it into the woods.

Where I believe snakes belong.

• • •

OF COURSE ALL THAT’S LEFT to tell is the denouement of this tale.

Quite simply, once a snake, alive or dead, touches anything I use in the kitchen, that object is no longer welcome in my kitchen. Or as in this case anywhere inside the house.

Hence we tossed the old food strainer into the recycling bin and promptly bought its replacement.

Lending credence to the wisdom implied in the saying: out with the old, in with the new. 

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

✅ What is the last largest purchase you made? What is the last smallest purchase you made? Was there a correlation between the two?

✅ When looking for a new mattress which of these variables have been or will be the most important to you:

  • price
  • comfort
  • brand name
  • immediate availability
  • free delivery of new mattress
  • free removal of old mattress
  • current frame will work
  • existing sheets will fit
  • warranty
  • other

✅ Had any unwanted guests lately? If so, how did you get them to leave? Was there DRAMA?

~ ~ • ~ ~

241 thoughts on “A Tale In Which The Beans Triumph Over That Which Does Not Belong Inside Their House”

  1. Snakes, especially those encountered unexpectedly, can be somewhat disconcerting. This post, of course, would have been better with a pictographic time-line: the snake, the mallet, the strainer, and Z-D in his PJ’s. 😀

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Unwanted house guests of the slithery kind? For a moment I thought the Beans had come to live in Australia during my absence from the blogosphere.
    I have had spiders, rats, magpies, possums, birds, frogs and ants. But snakes in the house- never ever!
    Mattreses have to be comfortable so comfort, comfort,comfort – is the only criteria worth considering. The rest can be worked out- later. Disposal of the old matress is always completed by ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amanda, you’ve had your share of unwanted guests visit you. I say ick to them all, but also know you have to deal with whatever shows up. No choice really.

      I was instantly comfortable when I laid down on the bed that we eventually bought. It was a definite selling point for me. He had a few more criteria of course. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh my goodness, I am sitting here drinking my coffee having the best chuckle over your story. That poor snake had no idea its little adventure would end in such a dramatic way! How is the new mattress???😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynn, the thing was that we didn’t panic, but we also started moving with alacrity so to speak. You’re right the snake had no idea about the trouble he was getting himself into.

      The new mattress is divine and with the adjustable base it is comfy. I’d no idea a bed could bend like this one.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ve had bats, mice and chipmunks inside and have escorted them all outside. Most critters are fearful of you so would gladly be rehomed outdoors. Usually I’m the catcher but snakes are outside of my wheelhouse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, we’ve had a bat and mice inside, but now chipmunks. Those little punks live under our stone stairs out back, minding their own business. This snake was a first and now, as you can imagine, has us looking at the baseboards in every room. Just a little freaked we are.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh hell naw. I know garden snakes are not dangerous. Not saying I’d want to pick one up, either. Knowing it had been living in you house for who knows how long *shudder*.

    You do have an entertaining way of sharing these situations, I have to say!

    What a beautiful mattress! Five years ago, I was working for Mega Group which is basically a grouping of furniture stores so I was lucky to buy myself a beauty of a mattress with a very decent discount. Only bummer is they did NOT take the old mattress when they delivered the new. And let’s face it, a king size mattress is rather cumbersome. Thank goodness our garbage service picks up things like this!

    We used to live by a field and the mice were regular visitors but once, we had a rat. Lord love a duck that thing was huge. My parents were gone on vacation and my paternal grandmother was babysitting. Thankfully, what follows happened on the day my parents returned. She opened a drawer in the kitchen and it came flying out! Scared the bejeesus out of her. My father ended up putting out some sort of poison and the damn thing chose my bedroom closet to die in.

    I shall have to ponder the purchase thing 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dale, knowing that garden snakes won’t hurt you didn’t make capturing it and escorting it outside any easier. You understand… *shudder* is right.

      You were lucky to get your new mattress at a good price and that your garbage collection company would take the old one away. That’s not how it works around here— no beds can go out with the trash. You have to make other arrangements.

      A RAT!!! Oh this is a horrible story and I’m freaked reading about it all these years later. Why did the dearly departed choose your closet? Oh that’d have me upset for days, weeks, months after. 😱

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh, I hear you. You won’t see me reaching down to grab it!!

        Yes and because it was an inside deal, that’s why they couldn’t take the old. Yes, we are lucky, there is a day per week where you can dispose of large items.

        A RAT!!! I dunno if it was the rat or another mouse that use to gnaw behind my bedroom wall just above my head. I ussed to bang on the wall to send him off… fun stuff…

        After I bought the house from my parents, my hubby, when he redid the kitchen, found a perfectly intact mouse skeleton just lying there on one of the frames.

        As to why my closet, I imagine that’s where he crawled to as the poison did its thing. Blech.

        Liked by 1 person

        • If the delivery men had not taken our old mattress and frame, we’d have had to contact 1-800-GOT-JUNK to come to the house and that service isn’t cheap. Not to mention you have to wait around the house for them to show up. Having the removal as part of the purchase was a blessing.

          A mouse skeleton! That’s disturbing but also kind of interesting in its own way. Best that it is long gone, a memory of dubious value.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. It was indeed a harrowing experience. No snakes in the house or even nearby for me either. The only unwelcome visitors we have are one or two lizards. I hate them too but they are difficult to catch. When we bought a new bed, my husband got a very comfy spring mattress with pillow top. Very good to sleep on.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Honestly, I feel rather sorry for the snake. The bashing part specifically 😦 Spring and fall spiders are my biggest nemesis here, although when I moved in many years ago it was earwigs and millipedes. I didn’t mind forcefully bashing those, and they needed a lot of bashing. I’ve been trying to be more conservative with the spiders depending on size and speed.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deb, your sympathy for the snake is duly noted. I shall let him know that he has a fan out there who wants the best for him. I hope he’s living his best life now that he’s in the forest where he belongs.

      Spiders! When we first moved in we had lots of them but over the years I see fewer around. No earwigs or millipedes though. Bugs are weird.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Other than cars, solar, and HVAC? Our most expensive purchase was a mattress. Twice. First it was because of Andy’s orthopedic issues, but now mine are worse than his. It’s all about finding a one that we both like and which won’t make our issues worse, which equals $$$$$. I haven’t had to deal with a snake in those, but Boss Cat has brought in many lizards, which she then drops to play with. I find them staring down at me from curtain rods and relocate them back to the yard ASAP. Usually by sweeping them into a dustpan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Autumn, you said it about the price of a new mattress and frame! It’s mind-boggling how much this duo cost, but also we’re both finally sleeping more soundly on it. Of course we also had to buy new sheets that’d fit its depth and they’re wonderfully smooth which adds to our good night sleep.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. We slept on a waterbed for about 45 years (yes, we’re old hippies), until finally my physical therapist said it was the cause of all my back problems. Though it was a tough choice, my husband agreed to get a real bed. We got a Casper mattress and I love it. Bill, however, still misses the waterbed and may sometimes wonder if he replaced the wrong old relic.
    While I’ve occasionally seen snakes in our yard, they haven yet had the temerity to enter the premises—thank goodness. Spiders are our most frequent intruders, and we carefully capture them in a peanut butter jar (empty) and put them back out in nature.
    I’m glad I read your snake story in the morning and hope it will be thoroughly digested before I go to sleep tonight, as it is the stuff of nightmares.
    It’s probably a good thing Z-D doesn’t sleep in the buff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, I’ve only slept on a waterbed a few times and it was decades ago. Friends mentioned buying a Caper brand. It’s all about what feels comfortable to you. Glad you weren’t the old relic to be replaced, btw.

      We used to have lots of spiders around but no more. I don’t know what has become of them, maybe they’ve figured out the outside is a better place for them than inside our house.

      Ha! EXCELLENT point about Z-D’s sleeping attire. This story would have had a different outcome if’n he was naked. 😜

      Like

  14. Ally!!!!! Aaaarg! Not only did it come into your house, but it went up the stairs?! That totally freaks me out. I know garden snakes are harmless and they eat bugs, but I scream every time I see one! Luckily, no snake has ever come into our house. We’ve had a couple of mice over the years, which is also horrible. We had to set traps, and it was traumatic. Thankfully, my husband took care of the bodies.
    For me, the most important thing about buying a new bed is a good return policy. I can’t ever find a bed I like! A doctor said to me, “It isn’t the bed, it’s the body in the bed.” Well, thank you very much.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michelle, considering the amount of door opening and closing PLUS that we were focused on the delivery men not damaging the walls, stair railing, door frames, it easily could have come in unnoticed. When it went upstairs is anyone’s guess. The delivery was a few days before this happened… so 🙀

      Your doctor’s advice while truthful isn’t exactly helpful. I know that different brands have different return policies so you have to be aware of them. Make no assumptions.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I had a racoon, in the middle of the day, walk through our kitchen door. It moved very slowly and wouldn’t even budge for the vacuum cleaner. We called the game warden and he said to not touch it under any means by try to poke it outside and shoot it, it was most likely diseased and we didn’t need to ask him which disease. It took a very long walking stick and a very long time before we got it outside and my poor husband was tasked with dispatching it to the great unknown.
    Needless to say, I scrubbed and scoured the entire kitchen with my haz mat suit on (old heavy jeans, old flannel shirt, yellow dishwashing gloves, goggles) dousing everything with Lysol. I didn’t cook for days, but finally sanitized again, talked to the health department, and made toast.
    Open doors are an invitation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dorothy, what a story! I cannot imagine what I’d do when faced with a live raccoon inside my house. I’m glad you got it to leave and what a great use for a walking stick! Happy to know your husband took care of the end of the story.

      I like your description of your haz mat suit. I’d have done the same thing with the Lysol and then fretted about cooking in the kitchen. I’m glad you finally got your toast.

      Yep, to open doors.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I’m blanking on the last smallest purchase but the last largest was also a mattress. Comfort was watchword for us! We’re getting old and as a result, the ability to reach and remain in REM becomes harder, so a good mattress that helps this process along is worth its weight in gold!

    We once had a crow fly into the house. What a mess. It was scared and confused, pooped everywhere and broke a window trying to (unsuccessfully) get out. We captured it in a sheet and got it outside. I used the sheet to clean up the worst of the poop and feathers and threw it out, then I called a glazier. The poor thing sat shell shocked in a tree in our garden for several hours (the quietest crow ever) before finally leaving.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynette, now that I think about it I know you’re right about maintaining REM sleep so that we sleep more soundly. I was focused on better sleep because of less achy joints, but there’s more to it than that.

      A crow in the house sounds awful. Absolutely ridiculous. I’m amazed by the damage it did, but also not surprised I suppose. Those birds are tough and mean— and rarely quiet. Yours is a story and a half.

      Liked by 1 person

      • At the time we had large windows with deck doors on either side of the house. My son was coming in one – there was the open door – and the crow came in. I think it thought it could fly straight through because of all the windows on the other side. When it couldn’t go through it just panicked and then tried any window it could see. Once I had finished being pissed off over the mess I felt sorry for the poor thing.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. ✅ What is the last largest purchase you made? What is the last smallest purchase you made? Was there a correlation between the two?

    Oh, I can’t remember. Probably some train tickets if that counts to visit my family and friends that live far away, if that counts?

    ✅ When looking for a new mattress which of these variables have been or will be the most important to you:

    Probably price and comfort. My bed is from IKEA and I love it, even though it’s not that soft.
    ✅ Had any unwanted guests lately? If so, how did you get them to leave? Was there DRAMA?

    If it’s insects we’re talking about here, then yeah. We’ve got loads of them unfortunately. We just kill them and if we find a nest of sorts, we do everything to kill that too – safely of course. Humanely? Not so much 😂.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Mattress – price and comfort. Nowadays, there are so many different features for mattresses — so many questions to answer. If confuses me, because, it’s just a bed. I just need a place to sleep. I should have done my research, though, because we recently bought 2 beds with all the works. Our bed is fine and functional and we are very happy with it. The Guest bed, by some mistake on my part, has a “something-inch” mattress on top of a “something-inch” foundational box spring, and it is ridiculously high up in the air. I bought a stool to help people get up in the bed. It’s comfortable, and all, just a weird situation. I shake my head every time I look at it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gwen, “so many questions to answer” is exactly why it took us two years to buy a bed. We researched, we tried them in the stores, we talked with friends… and then finally we made this purchase.

      Your guest bed configuration sounds like something from olden times when steps by the bed were commonplace. We had an antique bed at one point and had to have those steps. It’s weird, I get it.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Thanks Ally, I’ll never get the image of that poor pulverized snake out of my head. I would have done the same. Well, not me, technically. Malcolm would have done the deed.

    We have a Sterns and pillowtop, but it is not adjustable, although some of our Movers think it is. Watching them take it up a narrow staircase is not pretty with all their bending and twisting. As for old mattresses, we have ‘bulk trash day’ once a week in our town. They will take anything left on the street. That was a handy service when we moved out of our big house four years ago.

    The townhouse we are currently living in is newly built. Did you know that spiders routinely come with a new house? And at no extra charge. I sweep cobwebs from ceilings and corners weekly and have been bitten a couple of times. It’s sort of like an ant bite, annoying, but not dangerous. Itches for a few days.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, this was one of those out of the blue situations in which you just react. Z-D was good with the mallet and moving quickly to get the snake outside the house. Amazing how fast an old guy can run when motivated. 😉

      I understand about the anxiety of watching a bed + frame being moved. So many angles to negotiate, so many possible ways to nick the wall, railing, door frame. We don’t have bulk trash days here. You have to pay for a junk removal service to come to the house to take things. It’s pricey.

      I do know about spiders in new housing. We had this house built and for the first couple of years we had spiders inside about as much as outside. Sorry you’ve been bitten, that’s just plain annoying.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Snakes are the absolute worst, and I would have gives SERIOUS thought to selling my house immediately. As soon as I made a reservation at a hotel for the night. As soon as I stopped screaming.

    Holy crap.

    I wish I were kidding.

    The Dept. has had scads of wildlife including a colony of bats, some mice, a bird, and raccoons and possums in the garage and a skunk or two under the porch. But a snake? That’s a whole other level. Nope. Just…NO.

    Liked by 1 person

    • nance, I get what you’re saying about snakes in the house. I’m not thrilled by this experience but also admit that our baseboards, upstairs and downstairs, haven’t been this clean since the day we moved in.

      After removing the snake from the house we went on a full scale assault crawling around the perimeters of all rooms, looking for more trouble. Fortunately we’ve not seen another one inside so *fingers crossed* this was a one time event.

      Like

  21. I’m laughing at the thought process of both the Mallet, and the Strainer. Those are two things I’d probably never think of using, but I do understand in the midst of an emergency, one isn’t thinking clearly.
    I had a corn snake, fully grown in our house once, and I used a broom, to shush, push, encourage it out of the house. If husband or daughter were home, they’d have picked it up for me.
    You guys—-that poor snake, just wanted to check out your digs! (I’m laughing, of course)
    The last large purchase I made was a new refrigerator for the Georgia house a few weeks ago and the last small purchase was a birthday card. Not related.

    Um, I’ve not shared that our dogs brought it a large Palm Rat into our new house a few months ago, it was alive when it arrived. Talk about drama!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suz, we reacted in the moment, each running off in different directions, getting our preferred snake removal implements.

      Your husband and daughter will touch snakes! Oh that is too much for me to ever think of doing. A broom however would have been a good option.

      Refrigerators don’t come cheap but are rather fancy nowadays so maybe worth the price. Biirthday cards, while a small purchase, seem to be getting more expensive every time I buy one.

      Eek!!! No to rats. Just nopity nope. Ever.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jacqui, garden snakes aren’t poisonous and eat mice so to have a few around the house is okay. Because they’re useful outside the house. Inside the house, whole different story.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. First of all, thank you for NOT including any pictures of a snake–I couldn’t stand looking at them in The National Geographic and I can’t even now.

    We bought a mattress 1-2 years ago with an adjustable base: We love it!

    Here’s to a snake-free environment, Ally Bean!

    Like

    • Marian, the last thing on my mind was taking any pictures of this snake. The first thing on my mind was getting it out the door. Which we did.

      This adjustable base thing is a whole new world of comfort. Who knew, huh?

      Like

  25. O.M.G…….I was following your story until I realized your bedroom is on the second floor and I’m trying to imagine a snake slithering up your staircase and then making the decision to go into YOUR bedroom and then YOUR closet. Like, how long was this thing pondering where to go in your house?? This is TOO freaky for me! And thank you for telling me you threw that strainer away and didn’t just wash it!

    Our last ‘big’ purchase was two outdoor tables for our deck in anticipation of the dinner party we are hosting this weekend for my husband’s work team. Let’s hope no snakes show up!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bijoux, you said it: “Like, how long was this thing pondering where to go in your house??” And where else did he go inside the house? The mattress was delivered on Wednesday and we found him on Saturday. There are no good answers to these questions. 😱

      New outdoor tables sound like wonderful purchases. My guess is that your weekend party will be snake-free. I mean it’s not like snakes want to be around people. Just baseboards. 🙄

      Like

  26. Yikes! There was a small spider in my bathtub this morning but I can’t imagine dealing with a snake. They’re so slithery and seem fast. I don’t mind them at all; as you wrote, they belong outside in their own habitat, not in yours. How wonderful to get a new mattress! I want comfort, people to bring the mattress and take away the old one, the same size so I don’t have to buy new sheets, and warranty. I don’t care about price or having to pay for delivery. A good night’s sleep is worth the expense!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, this snake was a surprise, obviously. Not one I’d like to deal with again. Give me a spider in the tub, please.

      The new mattress came with a big price tag, but is a delight to sleep on. One thing I realized early on while searching for a new mattress was that all the mattresses we were considering were much deeper than our 15 y.o. one. Thus new sheets were a given.

      Like

  27. Living so close to nature as I do, I have unwanted guests all the time now. Usually of the 8-legged variety. I used to be absolutely terrified of spiders and thankfully have calmed down somewhat. Now I find myself trying to remove them alive and unharmed back to the great outdoors and when I catch myself going to these extraordinary lengths I wonder who I even am, anymore. I don’t throw out any kitchen utensils used in these life-saving rescues though. A quick trip through the dishwasher is enough to satisfy me.

    I’m not as afraid of snakes as some but I would be quite unnerved to find one inside my house. Yikes!

    Deb

    Like

    • Deb, spiders don’t freak me out. I know they’re doing good and for the most part they stay outside our house. Although I’ll admit that once I find one inside I’ve never escorted it outside the house, choosing to sent it to the great cobweb in the sky.

      The snake we found wasn’t poisonous but it was unnerving to see him so close to my house slippers. Out under a bush by the front door, no problem.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. That was some adventure, Ally! I don’t think I’d like to have a snake in the house and then lie in bed wondering where it was, but I could handle that a lot better than if it were a big spider. In the case of a large spider lost in the house, I’d be checking out hotel prices.

    Liked by 1 person

    • anneli, you’re not alone with your dislike of spiders. Many commenters have mentioned that very thing. The snake was unnerving to see inside, but we got him out. Spiders, on the other hand, can move up the walls so quickly you can’t get to ’em. It’s always something, isn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I agree with the first person. Next, time, we need a pictogram drawn in the moment! (Just kidding, but it’s a funny thought.) Thanks to your description, I can vividly see your SO, Z-D, in his pj’s freaking out with the strainer. It’s a very animated mental image!
    As for mattresses, price is the first thing I see, because they are super expensive over here. I actually need a new mattress but I’ve been putting it off for years coz I’d rather pay for the kids’ super expensive hobbies 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • Snow, to say Z-D was animated is an understatement. You never saw a guy move this fast out the front door. Funny actually.

      The price of mattresses is amazingly high. We didn’t really find any deals, just lots of variables to consider that when compared/balanced got us to about the same price everywhere. I can only imagine how much more expensive it’ll be where you live.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Yuck! I totally agree with throwing away the strainer. It took me a long time to even get used to using one of our spoons for the dog/cat food. LOL. Our last big purchase was a stove and fridge which both went out at the same time. Go figure. The fridge is smaller than the one we had which is taking some getting used to and the stove BROKE ALREADY and we’ve only had it since the beginning of May. Don’t even ask how angry we are. We’ve been without the use of the oven part for over a month. Thank goodness we still have the gas stove or you would have heard me screaming all the way at your house!

    As far as unwanted critters in the house, thankfully we have a cat who lives in the garage and he has been catching those things before they make it inside. Happy Tuesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, yes the strainer had to go. I’m frugal but not so frugal as to not spring for a new one. *Ick*

      Your fridge and stove died at the same time! That’s awful, my condolences. I can imagine how a smaller fridge would take some adjustment, but the new oven not working? That’s so defeating. I hope it can be fixed and that it remembers to keep working. Honestly, if it’s not one thing with machines, it’s another.

      Love that your cat is keeping unwanted critters away from your home. If I wasn’t so allergic we’d have one, but alas I 🤧.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Anne, thanks. This was a story that I didn’t have on my bingo card for this year, but once it happened you know I had to share it here.

      Two heat pumps!!! Oh that set you back. 😳The price of the paper napkins on the other hand is much easier to take.

      Liked by 1 person

  33. What a weird coincidence–your question! My post tomorrow is about buying a small portable DVD player and a card table while talking on the phone with my niece.

    Like

  34. I would have been freaked out with a snake in my closet. We had an unwanted guest in our casita last week. I have no idea how it got in. It’s so hot outside and the AC runs continuously, so there’s no way a door was open. It was a brown recluse spider. My husband smashed it and threw it outside. We called our pest service to spray inside the house for the first time. Then the guy discovered that we have termites. Never ending drama!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elizabeth, the snake in the closet was a surprise that I hope never happens again. We can explain how it happened, but once is enough, ‘ya know!

      Spiders are bothersome, but in a different way than snakes. HOWEVER as for termites, that’s a big ass mess. Been there, paid a small fortune to have the property sprayed for them. They went away/died but I’m still on the lookout for them. I’m sorry you’re dealing with them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The brown recluse I’m afraid of because they are one of the more venomous spiders. I’ve never seen one before. We had black widows in Palm Springs, but everyone talked about the brown recluse as being so much worse. Yes, we got the estimate for termites. Not fun!

        Liked by 1 person

  35. We had a snake in our yard twice (that I know of), and both times made me shiver for days. I cannot imagine having one inside — I feel like I’d have to burn the house down.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. I love your storytelling style. That was fun.

    I have so little to tell you. I’ve gotten out of the habit of doing much shopping. I should buy a new desk chair. I must get to that. And I should think about buying a new mattress. Or maybe not.

    Regarding unwanted critters: I’ve been lucky that way for many years–only the occasional spider which is easily stomped on. My daughter had an excellent story, though, about a black rat snake when they lived in Nashville. It took two men to subdue it with a rake, a broom, and pieces of baseboard. It was intent upon attacking them. When they dropped the snake in an empty garbage can, it rushed back out. Finally they were fast enough to throw it in the garbage can and cover it with the lid. They drove it far away, but some people thought the place they dropped it was too close to the creek that led back to their house.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicki, glad you enjoyed the story. Sometimes I feel like writing a tale rather than reporting events.

      We bought a new desk chair a few years ago and it feels about the same as the old one, just in a better color. As for the mattress, it has made a big difference in our sleeping so worth it.

      Oh no, that’s a story and a half. I cannot imagine battling a snake that large. Also it got out of the trash can, so had to be caught again! Too awful for all involved. I wonder if it found its way to the creek or moved on. Clearly it wasn’t wanted.

      Like

  37. Last big purchase…plane ticket. Smallest purchase…candy (gummies!). No correlation between the two but I probably enjoyed some gummies on that flight last month. New mattress purchase most definitely based on comfort. Unwanted guest, last year, was a snake. Hated them then, hate them still. In the garden, in the house, doesn’t matter. Hate them, and I’m glad you found yours, Ally, prior to slipping on a slithering shoe!!! And up the stairs???

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dennyho, I can see how a plane ticket and some gummies could be ultimately correlated. Both are good purchases.

      For me the mattress was about comfort first, but Zen-Den had many more variables to check off his list before we bought it.

      A snake in my shoe, if I’d found it there, would have given me heart attack. I know they can move quickly so it must have darted up the stairs at some point. It’s gone now, hallelujah!

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Wait…wait! Are you saying you think the snake in question was in your house for two years? 😜
    And…thank you for the chuckle as I read:
    “His idea, smash it to smush. My idea, capture it in the strainer. In the end we both prevailed.
    Z-D was able to subdue the snake using the mallet to whack it on its head a few times. Then using the strainer I handed to him, he scooped up the probably dazed [but maybe dead] snake.”
    I think it was the “dazed but maybe dead” that sent me into a fit. But to be honest, “smash it to smush” started the chortles.
    As to your question…we’ve had no “unwanted guests” and please don’t send any. Deal? xo! 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    • Vicki, the snake was in the house maybe three days, but deciding which mattress to buy took far longer… like two years… because we were… procrastinating.

      Yes, I thought “smash it to smush” was the most polite way to paraphrase what Z-D was saying as we subdued the snake. This is a PG-13 blog after all.

      I promise to not send a snake your way. Or anyone’s way for that matter. Too weird. The whole thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  39. Oh Ally! Snakes in the closet as a sequel to snakes on the plane? Either way, that is snakes where they don’t belong. In the immortal words of Indiana Jones, “Snakes? Why did it have to be snakes? I hate snakes!”

    Glad your combined approach worked. What a story! Yikes!

    Liked by 1 person

  40. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
    So when I see a little garter snake while I’m walking, or outside, I think “cute snakey.” The idea of having a snake IN MY HOUSE IN MY SHOES DEAR GOD ANYWHERE is…well…I had to do some deep breathing for a moment. It’s the same feeling I have about mice. Mice somewhere in a field? Sure! Mice in the garage? No. Mice in the house? BURN THE HOUSE TO THE GROUND IMMEDIATELY. We had mice several times in our Calgary house and the first time I discovered their presence by finding a bag of quinoa that had been nibbled open, surrounded by mouse poop. Ally, part of me died that day.
    So what I’m saying is OH MY GOD A SNAKE IN A SHOE. Sorry, cannot get over that. Didn’t the mallet to the head do more than subdue the snake? Or how big was this snake? Actually, don’t answer that. Unless the answer was “small.” Wait is small better? I DON’T KNOW ALLY I AM LOSING IT OVER HERE ON YOUR BEHALF.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, thanks for your emotional support about the existence of an unwanted snake in our closet. A snake that was small, about 12″ long, 1/2″ in diameter. But a little feisty, hissing at me like it was my fault that he was in our closet. I took his attitude personally.

      As for the mallet to the head, according to Z-D he killed it but it seemed to me that it was still a little wiggly when it went into the strainer and out the front door. We’ve agreed to disagree.

      We’ve had mice in the attic and one in the basement, but none in the pantry. Let me say YUCK about that. No rodents inside, it’s a rule I abide by. No snakes inside either. No bats inside also, thinking back to the one last winter.

      Just NO.

      Like

  42. Classic plaid pyjamas are great, but I dislike the snake visitor. Though I do like the smaller variety found in healthy soil. The answer to your question involves a small farm/orchard and a ring. The orchard became a reality before the diamond ring.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, Zen-Den was looking quite natty when he ran out the front door, but the reason for his hasty exit isn’t one I’d like to repeat.

      Wonderful answer to the question. A farm/orchard is a large purchase for sure, the diamond ring seems a perfectly small purchase in light of the orchard.

      Like

  43. No unwanted guests recently, but not long after we were married my husband woke me up swearing and slapping at himself. This is back in Texas where fire ants reign supreme. Apparently, at some point during the night a whole swarm of fire ants found their way into our master closet and was only discovered AFTER he had gotten dressed. I can’t remember all the details but I’m sure pest control was brought out and I do remember I had to wash each and every piece of clothing in that closet.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gigi, fire ants! Oh how awful and totally annoying and I’m sorry about the whole thing. We’ve not had them here. No doubt you had to wash all the clothing— and wasn’t that a huge bother! 🤨

      Like

  44. I’m glad you got the snake out without too much trouble. This is the second blog post in a week where someone was writing about trying to find a snake. The other blogger was looking for a lost pet snake.

    I recently had a bird in my workshop. My wife coaxed it toward and open door without any drama.

    I bought a new camera and when it didn’t fit in the case I hah, I bought a new case. For the mattress – comfort with an acceptable price.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan, I know people have pet snakes, but that’s not for me. We got the snake out of the house so as far as I’m concerned that’s as close to one as I ever want to be.

      Birds inside buildings are tricky to move along. Your wife did a good job with the one who invaded your workshop.

      From what I can tell about mattresses they’re all darned expensive but some are more comfortable than others. It’s not an easy purchase to make.

      Like

  45. I would lose my mind. I don’t think of myself as skittish, but really I am. Mostly I’m just frightened by the unpredictable movements of various wild creatures, especially inside a house.
    When I was visiting my parents a few months ago they had a mouse and I LITERALLY JUMPED UP ON A CHAIR. It was this involuntary movement on my part and I also screamed. I didn’t mean too, but it is just so creepy to have a little creature darting across the floor when you least expect it! It’s also ridiculous to climb up on a chair because obviously mice can climb up things, too. But that’s where my legs took me.

    My Dad set a trap and caught the mouse later that night. Ugh. But there was no way to coerce him to leave willingly…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elisabeth, I was somewhere between being frightened and being pissed off that the snake was in our closet. How dare he, ‘ya know?

      I might jump on a chair too if I saw a mouse scurrying around the kitchen. They move fast and can climb so I think it was sensible that you jumped up away from danger. Albeit a tiny bit of danger but DANGER nonetheless. Glad your dad got it.

      Like

  46. We had a wasp in the house yesterday and a lizard slithered into our garage a couple of hours ago. Wasp is definitely not a friend but we (and by “me” I mean my husband) managed to shoo it out. Lizard will hopefully make it out on his own eventually. Neither event required a correlated large or small purchase.

    If I could find a mattress that would give me a good night’s sleep, I’d buy it. A sound sleep seems to be a thing of the past.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janis, I don’t like wasps. [Of course does anyone other than another wasp?] I’m glad your husband encouraged it to go elsewhere. As for the lizard I suppose they move around on their own schedule.

      Our search for a new mattress took a couple of years, because we couldn’t decide— so many variables to consider beyond the price. I hope you find something that works for you, but I know it’s a challenge.

      Like

  47. OMG. A snake. In your house? In your closet? That’s a new one for me. EEK. I appreciate the visual of Den knocking it out/or otherwise and the strainer being used as a scooper. You two make a good pair. I’m struggling to think of an unwanted visitor – maybe a bird that keeps insisting on making a nest on top of a garage door opener in the garage. Dive bombing the parents I babysit for is not cool.

    Congrats on the mattress. When shopping for a mattress, something we put off for way too long – we changed the size from queen to king, so that dictated new sheets, etc. That shift has been a lot and while we switched the mattress on NYE – the furniture part has not yet been sorted out. We were most interested in comfort. Followed closely by price. I didn’t care too much about brand – cared more about reviews. I’m having serious back issues as of the last 5-6 weeks and I’m slightly worried that it’s from our mattress, but then – wouldn’t it have posed a problem prior to the 6 month mark?

    I once put on a sneaker while babysitting (I was in high school or college) and a cricket had gotten into my shoe. It felt weird and when I took my shoe off, I screamed because it hopped out of my shoe. It took me a long, LONG time before I could put a shoe on without closely inspecting it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ernie, finding that snake was amazing, but also set us off into high gear to make it go away. We are a good duo in emergencies, I’ll admit that. Somehow Pre-Cana counseling [all those years ago] failed to prepare us for snake emergencies like this one, but we came through.

      My goal for our new mattress was comfort to relieve my lower back pain. I think you’re right that if yours is caused by the new mattress it would have shown up earlier rather than later. Also, the price of sheets, eh? 🤑

      A cricket in your shoe seems like it should be funny but I’m sure when it surprised you it was anything but funny. I hope the snake didn’t get in my shoes, but… who knows.

      Like

  48. We recently bought a mattress based on the following Cost (I said no more than $800 it was $52 over budget), comfort, and free delivery/ removal of the old mattress.

    Liked by 1 person

  49. I think I maybe won’t tell you my gazillion snake tales/tails. They do amuse me, though, and that’s something. I really like snakes, but do not want to cuddle with them.

    To answer your questions:

    1. Largest recent purchase was new kitchen appliances for the kitchen in our rental townhome—delivered just today! Home Depot was awesome. Yeah, I know some people have political issues with said vendor. Smallest purchase was a paper towel roll holder for the van 🚐. No connection.

    2. Comfort was absolutely the ONLY criterion for my last (recent) mattress purchase. I love my new mattress, absolutely.

    3. Unwanted guests lately have been minute black ants 🐜 on my bathroom counter. You can imagine my exit strategy (for them, not me). Honestly though, with larger insects, I escort them outdoors, alive. Size and sheer numbers are a factor.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene, I know some people like snakes and that’s wonderful. Good for you, not for me.

      Kitchen appliances don’t come cheap. We’ve never bought appliances from Home Depot, I’m glad your experience was smooth. We go there for annuals, they have a wonderful selection [regardless of political issues].

      Comfort was my #1 criteria for a new mattress, but Mr. Man had many other variables to satisfy. Eventually we found what worked for us, price be damned.

      Ants are not my friends, but fortunately we don’t get them too often. Sometimes I’m kind and escort bugs outside, other times I just want them gone instantly so… 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  50. We found a nest of yellow jackets in one of my wife’s planters on our deck the other day. I should say they found her as she was stung multiple times. I promptly went to our local garden shop and bought some poison because by this time, there were 100 of them. I waited until dawn and sprayed them thoroughly. That did the job.

    I also have a healthy dislike of snakes. One summer, I was bailing hay, and I’ll never forget the moment I lifted a bale to put into the wagon and a snake trapped inside dangled two inches from my face. I still have nightmares about that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete, yellow jackets in a planter!!! I’ve never ever heard of that happening and am now officially freaked out. We have flower planters around, oh my. Glad you did in the unwanted invaders.

      That is WAY TOO CLOSE to be near a snake. I am sure I’d have nightmares about it too. At least in our case the snake was over there along the baseboard until we decided to get closer to it. A controlled approach. No in the face surprises.

      Liked by 1 person

  51. Oh wow – I would freak out bigtime. If I have a centipede in the bathtub, I am out of control, even though it’s the only place in the house I can successfully guarantee I can slay it by running the water and having it go down the drain. If I must whack a bug with a shoe I worry my aim will backfire and it will come back toward me. The odds just leave me paralyzed with fear. Tonight on the news I heard of a woman who bought a Red Bull energy drink at a bagel shop and she thought the can was heavier than usual and there was a dead mouse inside. She did not drink it but was very traumatized by the situation and under a doctor’s care now. I would not touch the strainer either. To be honest, I might have fainted had I seen a snake in the house.

    I can’t remember the last small purchase I made – Meijer seems to have everything I need, so there is no stopping at various stores like what used to be a weekend errand day (card store, hardware store, nursery, grocery store) … now it is one-stop shopping. I guess my biggest purchase recently will be the landscaping job to right the wrongs the last landscaper did last Fall. I booked the guy on June 8th for mulch everywhere, thicker than how it looks now (like you could read the newspaper through it), a new retainer wall and gutter cleaning. I said I was not in a hurry and today he wrote that he and his crew are very behind due to the weather – understandable as we’ve had stormy weather all Summer. So that will be money out of pocket eventually, but I did already commit to the job. I should get a mattress, but have not looked into it yet, but I will get a mattress with next-day delivery so I know if it will rain or not, so they are not dragging a mattress into the house in the pouring rain – yes it is covered in plastic, but they will not care as they are mad they are getting soaked.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, somehow once I/we saw the snake we both jumped into action because it was an invader in our realm. I wanted it out so no time to faint— action now, crumple later.

      We have an older Meijer here, in fact we were just over the weekend talking about how we wondered if newer ones were like you said “one-stop shopping” places. This is Kroger-land so finding a newer Meijer could be a day trip.

      We got mattress delivery in about a week after we bought it. There was an issue with getting the right adjustable frame for it. I take your point about pouring rain though. Getting it into the house from the van took a bit of time so the weather could play a part in delivery.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’d have hightailed it out of there, likely without a plan! I’m not good with critters in places they shouldn’t be. You’ll remember my escapade with the groundhog two years ago. I hired the pest control service to bait with a trap and then release it humanely within 24 hours in a wooded area five miles away … yes, I signed up for that, then two different opossums went into the trap, so $75.00 apiece for pickup/release and we never caught the groundhog! I check the area where it burrowed all the time, especially will do so as Fall is nearing.

        I shopped at a small grocery store named Farmer Jack which was like Kroger-sized for years, then the parent company, Bormans, went out of business suddenly and I started shopping at Meijer, just down the block from Farmer Jack. I was overwhelmed until I got the hang of where everything was and how spread out it was, but yes, no more multiple stops.

        The weather forecasters don’t always do a great job of predicting the rain anymore. Based on yesterday’s forecast, I planned to go out this morning before our two rounds of storms later today – we had a pop-up storm this morning too, so no walk. I picture a storm, a soaking wet mattress and delivery guys trying to keep themselves dry. Then me, bent over the mattress with a blow dryer and big fans. My neighbor’s son bought a mattress in a box from Amazon. I’ve heard of those and he says he has a bad back, but loves it. Voila – no worries about rain and your new mattress. (Unless a porch pirate gets it first.)

        Liked by 1 person

        • I do remember you and your groundhog experience. I don’t see them around here but wouldn’t like one anywhere near me for sure. Yes, keep your eyes open for its, or its grandchild’s, return. Botheration.

          Don’t know about Farmer Jack, but do know about Kroger. I like our Meijer, it’s not conveniently located so I don’t go often.

          I’ve no idea how delivery men deal with inclement weather, but you raise a good point. I’ve read about companies that deliver mattresses in boxes to your house, but don’t know anything about them. We went to furniture stores to lay on mattresses before buying ours, instead of reading about them online.

          Liked by 1 person

          • To thwart MY groundhog’s return, they recommended I fill the burrow with pea gravel as groundhogs don’t like the feel of pea gravel on their paws – how do they know that I wonder? Just like how do they know cantaloupe is their favorite food?

            Years ago Kroger was the only store around that sold Honeycrisp apples. I’d make a “Honeycrisp run” several times in the Fall to buy them.

            Some things you just have to “test drive” and mattresses are one such item.

            Liked by 1 person

              • You got me hanging Ally. I ordered a ton of pea gravel from Lowes, had it delivered the next day before the groundhog got ideas. Happy Friday back at you … a beautiful day and I made the most of it since they are few and far between these days. Ugh.

                Liked by 1 person

  52. The most important thing for a new mattress for me is to get one snake-free! Honestly, I would have freaked out too. I once had a dead squirrel in the basement, I could smell it….it had come in through the chimney vent and made a nest in a bunch of boxes of stuff I had destined for the Goodwill. When I found it’s half-dead smelly carcass I made my nephew dispose of it on a shovel and bury it under a tree and then I threw the shovel away and all the Goodwill boxes. I’ve also had a bird in the house (same chimney vent) not fun chasing it around while it pooped all over things, and a few years ago a swarm of bees under the siding which required fumigating from pest control. I also suspect there’s a family of moles living under the front deck, but if they don’t come in the house, I let them be, because of The Wind in the Willows.

    Like

    • Donna, I, too, hope there’s no correlation ever between your house and matches. 😳

      Good to know your priorities when you go mattress shopping. It’s not a straightforward purchase, so there are many little things to consider. 🤑

      I’m all about drama-free so your spider relocation experience sounds good. 😌

      Like

  55. Awww… poor snake!! A bat might freak me out (I only recently learned that you need rabies shots if simply scratched by a bat), but I’m pretty chill about most other critters… to the point that I once had an opossum in my house for a month before we coordinated out timing (open foor and its realization of that) and he left.

    Big purchase: New mattress. Small purchase: waterproof medical tape. Linked by both being related to my new replacement.

    My mattress requirements: Reasonable price, confortable, good warranty, and delivery (incl taking my old mattress). I would have like to get something schmancier than what I bought, but my budget didn’t support that.

    Like

    • leendadll, no way did you have a possum in your house and you didn’t freak! I cannot imagine, but you do you, boo.

      Another mattress buyer. It took us a long time to decide on which one, but we haven’t needed any waterproof medical tape. You do live a unique life.

      I hear ‘ya about the price of mattresses, regardless of where you buy them. They’re all pricey for what you get. Hope yours serves you well.

      Liked by 1 person

  56. Yikes! But at least it gave you absolutely fabulous fodder for your blog! I’m with you on it being entirely reasonable to not consider the snake’s entry to your home via the mattress. Of course, if you lived in Africa, you might have to re-consider…

    Big purchases of late: fridge/freezer, washer/dryer, dishwasher, made-to-measure curtains. Small purchase of late: garden table. All linked by our recent move.

    When we first arrived, the apartment had crowds of ladybirds on seemingly every window and windowsill. Since the recent hotter (and drier) weather, they have disappeared. I saw the first one in ages this morning – funnily enough, just after we’d had a day of downpours yesterday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, good point. The snake was a perfect topic for this blog, so I should be grateful to it. I’ll try to remember that it was only helping me be an interesting blogger.

      You’ve made a lot of big purchases lately. It makes sense of course, but still those kinds of decisions come with a hefty price tag. Except the garden table that as I recall bothered a neighbor?

      Ladybugs are pretty when it is one, but in mass I think I’d be freaked by them. I didn’t know wet versus dry conditions were a variable for them yet your experience seems to show that they like wet.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That snake was providing a public service! 😀 But I suspect you’d rather he didn’t do that again. Hopefully Z-D spoke to him firmly when he tipped him into the wooded area.

        Since the new garden furniture arrived, that particular neighbour has been noticeably absent. Well, she still lives here, but she isn’t knocking on our doors, for which we are truly grateful.

        Yup, ladybirds are pretty in small numbers. I was freaked by how many there were and had to speak to myself in very firm tones that they were *nice* and also apparently lucky. It was Himself who posited the wet theory – annoyingly, he’s generally right 😉

        Like

  57. The number one quality I look for in a mattress is that it is snake-free. I have a couple of snake-encounter stories on my blog, as well. 🐍
    It may not be exactly what you were getting at, but out last largest purchase was our trip to Armenia, Azerbaijan, and the Republic of Georgia. Slightly more expensive (I always add up the various expenses over the months and write the grand total at the end of the trip’s last entry in my travel journal) than I was expecting, but still worth every dram, manat, and lari. Actually, right before the trip I had a really small purchase. I always have the doctor prescribe me sleeping pills for the plane and to help deal with jet lag. Ten prescription pills cost me a grand total of… 40 cents! How’s that for a bargain! I didn’t have cash, so I charged it. I chuckled when I saw that line item on my credit card statement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Travel Architect, ha! Yes you’re so right that a snake-free mattress is the #1 thing to look for when buying a new mattress. How did I forget to add that choice to the list?

      I can imagine how expensive your trip was and that it was exactly what you had in mind so money well spent. Laughing about your 40¢ charge for the pills. You gotta do what you gotta do.

      Liked by 1 person

  58. Yikes! I’m so glad you figured out a plausible theory about how the snake made it in to your house so you don’t have to worry about it randomly happening again. Phew! And I would have thrown the strainer out, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, yes, it’s been a few weeks now and we haven’t seen any snake friends around inside. The rest of the story is that after we tossed the snake and the strainer out, we spent Saturday morning crawling around on the floor checking under furniture and along our baseboards to make sure it was a loner. We dusted as we went so the house got an unplanned cleaning.

      Liked by 1 person

  59. Well, I am certainly going to add “snake free” to my list of future mattress requirements.

    Even though I know that garden snakes are harmless and helpful creatures, I am shuddering with the idea of one INSIDE MY HOUSE. No. No thank you. Snakes, like spiders, should remain invisible, doing their very valuable work in the shadows away from human realms like CLOSETS.

    I am trying to think about whether I would have also thrown the strainer away. If it had been a mouse or a bat, my answer is HELL YES, but a snake??? Hmm. Would I be as repulsed by a snake as a rodent? I don’t know. Let’s say that probably I would throw the strainer away too, and I certainly understand doing so.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, your sentiments about where snakes SHOULD be mirror my own. The possibility that the snake was in my house slippers that were in the closet still freaks me out. I’ve yet to wear them again, but can’t quite throw them out. They’re LL Bean Wicked Good slippers and I lurve them. *sigh*

      Perhaps we were rash in tossing the strainer but in the moment it seemed like the thing to do. I don’t want to be reminded of snakes when I use it, so ’tis gone. In fact I don’t want to be reminded of this experience in any way, ever again.

      Liked by 1 person

  60. LOL – a wooden mallet to smush would have been a bit messy. Glad hubby was convinced to swap it for the strainer once the snake was rendered stunned! I can just image the scene. Hope the house is now cleansed to your satisfaction and you’re enjoying your new comfy mattress! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laura, yes after the whole snake episode was over and it was gone we started checking under all furniture to make sure we only had one snake visitor. Bottom line our baseboards were dusted and the house seemed super clean. The mattress is wonderful.

      Liked by 1 person

  62. Ally. ALLY. I think my heart stopped. I’m certain I’ll be checking my shoes for weeks now. We’ll attribute that to your powerful writing and not to my excessive feelings about snakes. SNAKES. I think I need coffee. Or tequila. Or both.

    Congratulations on both the new strainer and the stellar teamwork in exiting your guest from the premises without setting something on fire.😳

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laura, you can be assured that I’m checking my shoes before I put them on now. Of course I’m wearing mostly sandals in July so not tricky to check but my sneakers get a once over.

      I’m happy with the mattress so I can put this situation into perspective, but I did find myself drinking a few glasses of wine that Saturday night so that I could brave sleeping on our new bed adjacent to the closet. 🍷

      Liked by 1 person

  63. Um… I’m kinda speechless. And now worried about snakes in my little cabin. I better go do a search because the door doesn’t close all the way (and someone that is not me better find a way to fix it asap).

    Like

    • Claudette, this snake inside the house was a first for us. In the midwest USA this sort of thing doesn’t happen like it does in the south and in the southwest. I bet you’re safe BUT getting the door to close would be a good idea, imo. For many reasons.

      Liked by 1 person

  64. I’m thankful I didn’t know, until we moved here, South Carolina is home to every species of venomous snake in North America. And because we live in a rural area I’ve seen a couple of rattlesnakes and – for the first time in my life – a coral snake just a few weeks ago. I have something of a phobia of snakes from childhood encounters but over the decades I think it’s become more of a fascination. I subscribe to the theory “they’re more afraid of you than you are of them”. Happy to report zero snake encounters on our property after three years of living here (the seller didn’t lie – whew!). Relieved to read about your theory on why the snake made it into your house. SO much better than “I have no idea how he…”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dave, I didn’t know about all the variety of snakes in SC but can believe it. I know that in OH our snakes aren’t poisonous but you’ve got the ones I fear the most. Lucky you. Happy to read that none have been seen on your property. Yes, having a plausible theory about how this snake got into our house has allowed me to sleep soundly on the new mattress… that has allowed me to sleep soundly.

      Like

    • Neil, you’re right, of course. But there was no other way to get the mattress inside and the old one outside without the door open for long stretches of time. I’d prefer insects to snakes, I think. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  68. Ack! You’re the second midwestern blogger that I’ve read recently had a snake in their house. I would NOT like that. I am pretty cheap though, and would probably have put the strainer through the dishwasher and forgotten all about it.

    RIP snake. I suspect ZD dispatched it completely. I hope the other snakes in the area learn from this, like a warning head on a spike.

    When buying a mattress, I want it to be delivered, and I want them to take my old one away. And I want it to fit my frame. And of course the most important consideration is comfort, and I’m glad that you are enjoying yours!

    Our last big purchase was a new sofa, which thankfully did not (to my knowledge) come with any critters. I don’t think we have any other related purchases. I did recently buy a book, which I might perhaps read while lounging on the sofa, but that was not part of the decision.

    Liked by 1 person

    • J, maybe it’s our warmer wetter summer weather that has created a better environment for snakes so we’re seeing more of them. WHEN THEY’RE OUTSIDE. As to the snake’s ultimate fate, he says he killed it, I think he dazed it. Makes no diff because it is no longer in our closet.

      Delivery and removal of the mattresses [+ old box springs] was a consideration. The extra expense to arrange for that yourself can take your breath away. The furniture store where we bought the mattress and new frame didn’t make a big deal about removal. No doubt the charge was buried in the price of the mattress but so be it— everything is gone now.

      I adore how your sofa [big purchase] and book [small purchase] are coming together for you. Planned or not it was meant to be. Enjoy!

      Like

  69. We have an ant infestation in our kitchen, friend. AN ANT INFESTATION. And I am over it. Those unwanted visitors are still there and, frankly, they can leave ASAP and I would be ecstatic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • NGS, ants are icky. I do not like them anywhere in the house, but in the kitchen is the worst. I hope they decide to either drop dead or move on. Soon.

      Like

  71. I’ve been contemplating this off and on since yesterday, hence the late response. Large purchases? Just got a new large suitcase, which wasn’t cheap.

    As far as mattresses go, we have an inside information source in one of my sisters-in-law, who sells mattresses and furniture. My first priority is comfort. But I’m not paying thousands of dollars. I don’t care about the brand name. Being able to use existing sheets is good. Mattresses are getting so deep! Fitting the frame? Yes.

    Invaders? We had a scorpion in our rental house one day…right after someone came by to sell scorpion pest control. I wondered if there was a connection. Never had another one. We get crickets sometimes at our current house. But the worst was getting bedbugs while in our rental. It was NOT fun, but thankfully they weren’t in the entire house. What you have to do to get rid of them is tough and getting bitten is bad. The best part was the beagle that was used to sniff where the bedbugs were. The trainer said you can teach dogs to smell all sorts of things. I

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, we bought suitcases a few years ago and you’re right they aren’t cheap, but do have many wonderful features now.

      Comfort was my number one priority, but my husband had many other criteria to fulfill. Our new mattress is deep so the old sheets didn’t fit, hence new sheets. And let me tell you new deep sheets are not inexpensive.

      I agree it’s suspicious that your one scorpion showed up right after the exterminator guy was there to sell you something. Uh huh. Bedbugs sound AWFUL and I’m sorry to read about your experience with them. Just plain ick. Although I like beagles so I understand how that part was fun. In its own way.

      Like

  72. We have had ants in the vaulted ceilings of two rooms – one room last year, the other this year. The exterminator dealt with it, but on a go forward basis we are removing all the ant hotels (dead trees and stumps) that are within a certain vicinity of our house!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margy, that’s a new problem I’d not thought of regarding vaulted ceilings. We have two rooms with them but so far *finger crossed* ants haven’t been a problem. Stink bugs on the other hand…

      Liked by 1 person

  73. Guess I’m “lucky,” because I’ve never had anything worse than mice in the house. But a LOT of mice. So many that I became an expert at dispatching them (and by dispatching, I mean, killing…sorry not sorry; they are dirty and disgusting).

    When mattress shopping, I look for bounceability above all else.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mark, you are lucky to not have had to deal with anything more than mice. Which I despise so I’m right there with you on the sorry not sorry.

      Bounceability is a good variable to consider. I’d put that under the heading of comfort.

      Liked by 1 person

  74. Such a pity that Zen-Den probably killed the snake. We’ve never found a snake inside our house so I can’t say what would have been a better method to get it out without harming it. Anything I can think of would have required a fair amount of dexterity because they can be quick. I hope it did survive (although it probably didn’t) so it can tell other snakes to stay away from the Bean house.

    We bought a new mattress for Greg a couple of years ago. We had looked at Stearns & Foster because a B&B that we like gets their mattresses from them. Alas, too $$$$ for our budget. You know, I can’t even tell you the brand that he bought. Just that he’s been happy with it. Comfort is the main concern, and he was able to “test” various mattresses at a store near us (they didn’t carry Stearns & Foster).

    The most annoying critters we find in our house are cockroaches. Ick! Ugh! Yuck! We put out bait but this is Florida. In fact, my introduction to Florida cockroaches came soon after we moved to the state. I went into our bathroom to brush my teeth and found a very large cockroach sucking on the open end of my toothpaste. ICK, ICK, ICK!

    Occasionally we find little lizards that Raji brings in from the garage. With any luck we can rescue them and return them to the outdoors, sometimes missing their tails but they grow them back so … no worries 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marie, when we saw the snake in the closet we reacted immediately knowing, like you said, “they can be quick.” We got it out, but if there was a better way I don’t know what it is. Not going to research it either. Hope it doesn’t happen again. 😳

      For me comfort was the #1 criteria, but it’s not simple to buy a mattress anymore. We researched and tested and fretted then eventually got this one. It was not inexpensive, I’ll say that about it.

      I HATE cockroaches and I know they’re all over FL, but to find one on your toothbrush would give me nightmares. You are a strong woman to live with them around. The bait seems sensible.

      Lizards are cute in their own ways. We don’t have them, but I’ve no doubt that to a cat they’re just too. much. fun.

      Liked by 1 person

  75. I have a friend who lives in the country. She told me that she once saw a very long, very large snake, in her pantry. She ran, and returned shortly afterwards with weapons to dispose of it, but it was gone. Which may well mean it is still somewhere in her house. And yet she continues to live in that house, which she may or may not be sharing with a large snake. Personally, I would have moved out so fast it would have made your head swim……..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ann, I’m with you. No snakes live inside my house. Ever. It’s more than a guideline, it’s a rule. Your friend is brave [or nuts] to coexist with one if’n it really is there with her. 😬

      Liked by 1 person

  76. When our oldest son and his family first moved to South Carolina, they lived in a single-wide trailer. One night, they found a snake inside. My DIL detests snakes. They loaded up the car and drove to Georgia in the middle of the night. DIL then stayed with her parents until our son found new living accommodations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, great story that is so believable. I’m with your DIL and her decision. I know that a few people like snakes, but no thanks. Not for me. I’m sure her parents were happy to have her visit.

      Liked by 1 person

  77. Oh my goodness! At least you guys had the presence of mind to come up with a plan. I would have been freaking out for days!! How frightening! So glad you prevailed!
    I have had some unwelcome wasps. They probably got in when I had the balcony doors open. I have learned through experience that wasps are hard to kill. Perseverance is necessary!
    I could use a new mattress. Maybe someday! But I don’t want any snakes to crawl in when it arrives!

    Liked by 1 person

    • L. Marie, it was amazing how quickly we jumped into action once we saw the snake. No plan, just ready to take it on in our own ways. I freaked after it was out of the house.

      Wasps are insidious and kind of scare me. I’m glad you got rid of yours. When you get a new mattress keep you eye on the door it comes in through! My advice. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  78. Hi ally – I do not blame you for tossing the strainer and getting a new one – also, while the goal is usually to ket the critter live, when they cross the bounds into the house – that changes because our living space has to be safe – right!
    and for beds – comfort and support matters the most to me – I like a not too firm memory foam 🙂
    **and the small snake could have come in the box the bed came in – and not necessarily inside the bed… eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yvette, while I’m frugal by nature the strainer had to go. I’d hoped it would be all we needed to remove the snake but this one was wiggly and fast so we needed the mallet. Yes, you’re right the snake could have been in the box the frame came in. That’s more likely than it was in the mattress which was sealed in plastic the delivery men removed in our presence. Regardless of the how, the snake is longer in our house.

      Liked by 1 person

  79. I have lower back issues that sometimes shows up so I look for comfort when it comes to a mattress.
    My sister in law is so annoyng, little miss know it all…ughhhh She’s not allowed back for a while.

    Like

  80. A garden snake! In your home! NO NO NO.

    My snake story is that earlier this month, my sweet little 10-lb dachshund sister BIT A SNAKE IN HALF and killed it dead. It was in my parents’ screen room and homegirl did not waste a second. She looks sweet and innocent, but she’s got a killer instinct.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stephany, oh that’s a story and a half. A little dachshund bit a snake in half and killed it dead‽ I’m loving this doggy— and wish we’d had her around when we found the snake. Amazing.

      Like

  81. Ooh Ally, you had me laughing just picturing all this drama in my head! Very glad you got the snake out of the house and fhat you are enjoying your new mattress. 😊 If would be very upsetting if after all the drama with the snake, you couldn’t enjoy your mattress and would have to deal with having an open front door once again to get a new mattress. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • joyroses13, you’re right. The drama of one mattress delivery is enough for me. I don’t think I could deal with another one. Fortunately our new bed is just right, so no more opportunities for a snake to come visit. Yay!

      Liked by 1 person

  82. Oh man, Ally, a snake in the house would definitely freak me out…and I don’t think I could bring myself to hit it over the head or catch it…so I’d probably have to move. (Kidding…sort of.) I have a weird fear of a spider making its home in one of my shoes…though that has never happened to me. I always turn my shoes upside down and give them a good shake before putting them on. Of course, flip-flops do alleviate that fear. Maybe that’s why I love them so much. As for priorities when purchasing a new mattress: comfort, followed by price.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Christie, this snake was soooo unexpected but we did, shall we say, re-home it outside where it belonged. I now am vigilant about checking my shoes before I put them on, but luckily I wear a lot of Birkenstock sandals so, like your flip-flops, it’s ezpz. Still would not suggest having a snake in your closet… for any reason.

      Like

  83. Knock on wood. Only once in my life have I had a snake in the house. It was also a garden snake, but that’s totally beside the point. I was maybe 26-years-old and home alone with two young kids and a snake in their bathroom. Traumatized but trying not to alarm the kids, I closed the door. I don’t remember why my son’s friend’s mom showed up. Perhaps this was coincidence. She caught the snake with her bare hands, carried it through the front door, and released it back into the wild. I always thought it came in through the plumbing??

    Liked by 1 person

    • Crystal, you were in a difficult position with that unwanted snake. I can understand why you didn’t want to upset the kids, but also how you wanted it out of the house immediately. A person removed it with her bare hands! Oh I/we couldn’t do that. In through the plumbing? That is too disturbing to even contemplate. 😳

      Liked by 1 person

  84. What a great lead, watching Zen-Den running out of the house in his PJs, shoeless, with a food strainer. EXCELLENT beginning. You had me laughing from the get-go. But then I shed (get it?) a few tears for the snake, who was only looking for a cool place to rest his skin (maybe new skin, if it recently shed). So, I’m not a fan of the mallet. I think you’re idea of using a FOOD STRAINER to scoop him up and rush him to the woods is hysterical. I don’t want to read the other comments because I’m afraid they’ll have stories about snakes in their house, and then I’ll have nightmares.
    Buying a mattress is a big expense. Recently, we had to buy a new living room couch and love seat. Ours were 25+ years old and had lived through children, dogs, grandchildren, granddogs, many nights of company, and now the fabric was starting to rip. Our (very adult) daughter begged us not to replace it (“I have MEMORIES of this couch/love seat,” she said). We bought new and I found a place that gives old furniture to homeless/newly homed.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pam, thanks for the compliment. Watching Z-D run out the front door was hilarious to see but the reason behind why he was doing it was serious. I’m sorry about the mallet too. If the snake had been less feisty he could have been escorted out of the house unharmed, but dude was hissy and aggressive.

      You’re not kidding when you say buying a mattress is expensive. I’m glad we finally agreed on one, price be damned. We haven’t bought new living room furniture in years. I can only imagine how much it costs now. Isn’t it funny how your daughter was emotionally attached to the old furniture? It’s rather sweet. Good choice about where to donate it.

      Liked by 2 people

  85. A snippet of life … I love this turn of phrase, Ally. I have a smile right from the get go. ‘To wit’ … you are on a roll, Ally … story telling at its best! Good grief! The snake! The front door left open … brings back memories – stray cats and lizards visiting.

    Desperate times mean desperate measures. We have used a kitchen spatula when we were taking care of someone’s house with a pet … let’s just say, we threw out the spatula.

    Re: critters – I always have words/events/synchronicities in my radar – I have a story soon to be published in which “critters” are the main event. I am only on the grid for 24 hours restocking and checking online. I am happy I included reading your story, Ally. A smile, an energy boost, entertainment and beautiful writing at its best! 💕Erica

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erica/Erika, stray cats & lizards! Oh those sound like visitors that maybe weren’t so welcome. It happens.

      I didn’t think of a spatula when I ran to the kitchen, but it would have been helpful— might have reduced the need for the mallet. I’d say I’ll remember that for next time, but *fingers crossed* there’ll be no next time.

      I, too, note synchronicities in my life. I understand your approach, it keeps life interesting. I look forward to your ‘critter’ story, because how could it not be great? Thanks for checking in to read and comment. I enjoy hearing from you. 🥰

      Liked by 1 person

  86. I may have shared this before, but as a teenager, I had a few dreams that my family and I were living with snakes…in the dish drainer, on the floor, etc. I shut the door on one and took off its head and I was glad. I do not like snakes, so I’m with Mr. Bean and his mallet. I slightly hope the snake survived…

    The last biggest purchase was my KitchenAid mixer last November, so I didn’t have to work so hard at making cookies. In May, my neighbor and I purchased two collapsible hoses (they expand when the water is turned on) and a kitchen faucet connector…so we didn’t have so work so hard at carrying buckets of water over to the garden. That’s a correlation, right? Not working so hard?

    My mattress is fairly new (@4 years old) and I bought it mainly due to price and comfort. Yes, the frame worked and the sheets fit!

    Like

    • Mary, I didn’t know about your snake dreams. They sound vivid and creepy. I have mixed feelings about the mallet, but it was effective and necessary from our point of view. The snake may have believed otherwise.

      I’m glad you got a KitcenAid mixer. They’re great. I like your collapsible hoses, never seen them, but anything that makes life less difficult is good by me.

      We kept our last mattress for over 15 years so your mattress is new in my opinion. The new frame/sheets expense wasn’t a surprise but it did add to the price which slowed us down about buying a new mattress. Many things to consider.

      Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.