Duh.

When Your Morning Starts With The Wrong Angel Singing

/ Ally Bean / 17 Comments

Talk about being disoriented.  As if getting up pre-dawncrack isn’t difficult enough, I now have worm of the ear going on… and it’s the wrong worm.

Botheration.

# # #

Here’s the deal.  Zen-Den sets our clock radio to wake us at 5:30 a.m. each morning.  But last night he changed the wake-up time to 5:15 a.m. because he needed to get going earlier than usual.

He did not tell me about the change.

So this morning the alarm, which is set to a local radio station, went off earlier than normal. When the alarm/radio goes off at its usual time I’m already a little bit awake so it’s not too much of a shock to me.  But this morning the alarm/radio startled me out of my deep sleep.

Obviously.

# # #

And in my sleepy mind it seemed like the radio was LOUDER than usual as it played an oldie: “Angel of the Morning.”  Not a bad tune, but slowly as I began to wake up I realized that it wasn’t the right woman singing the song.

Who are you?  And what are you doing in my morning?

So I laid there in bed trying to figure out what the heck was going on.  I could confirm with a glance at the clock radio that it was the wrong wake-up time, but the singer/angel situation flummoxed me.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

# # #

So now, later in the morning after a few mugs of coffee, I have been able to make sense of what happened.  Come to find out there are many versions of “Angel of the Morning.”

The first one, the right one, the best one, the one that my mind would have accepted without confusion, sung by Juice Newton, is:

The second one that I was familiar with but didn’t grow up listening to, sung by Chrissie Hynde and the Pretenders, is:

But the wrongest one, the one that was forced on me this morning and is still lurking in its worm-ear-y way within my brain, the one that apparently is the original version, sung by Merrilee Rush and the Turnabouts, is:

And I don’t like it.

In Which We Learn The Secret To Longevity According To My Husband

/ Ally Bean / 14 Comments

~ An early morning conversation between husband [HIM] & wife [ME] that took place in our bathroom ~

HIM:  { stepping out of the shower, drying off, looking in my direction }  You look pretty.

ME:  { awake for less than 15 seconds, standing in front of the mirror, looking at the crazy mess that is my curly hair pre-styling }  Huh?

HIM:  { hanging up his towel }  Your hair looks pretty like that.

ME:  { wondering why I am being forced to converse before my first cup of coffee }  Huh!

HIM:  { looking into the mirror, starting to comb his straight wet hair }  I know that you think that I’m being facetious when I say that you look pretty, but I’m not.

ME:  { using a scrunchie, pulling the top portion of my bobbed hair up into a vertical straggly looking ponytail-esque style good enough for going downstairs to get a cup of coffee }  Huh.

HIM:  { applying shaving cream to his face, looking like Father Time }  And do you know why I’m not being facetious when I say that you look pretty?  It’s because…

ME:  { distracted while searching for my eyeglasses }  What?

HIM:  { looking into the mirror, starting to shave his face while chuckling at his supposed cleverness }  …I don’t know what “facetious” means, so I can’t be saying anything facetious.

ME:  { finally realizing that I’m going to have to talk to him because he’s so full of it }  So if you don’t know what a word means when you use it, then when a doctor tells you that you have some sort of disease that you’ve never heard of, you won’t have it because you don’t know what it is?!!!

HIM:  { stopping mid-shave, looking at me, pontificating upon his brilliance }  Yep.  That’s it exactly.  That’s how I’m going to live to be one hundred: if I don’t know what it is, I can’t get it.  Ignorance is the key to good health.

ME:  { putting on my slippers, leaving the bathroom in search of coffee }  Well then, you’ve nailed that ignorance part.  Enjoy your long life.  I hope you and your second wife will be happy together.

~ The End ~

What Is The World Coming To When A Phone Call As Good As This One Isn’t A Prank?

/ Ally Bean / 12 Comments

My cell phone rang earlier this morning.  I didn’t recognize the number, but could identify the area code.  It was the area code of an out-of-town friend that Z-D was meeting for an early breakfast.

Thinking that the call might be from that friend who was lost or something, I answered my phone.  This is unusual because I rarely respond to a number that I don’t know.  However, this time I did and the conversation went something like this:

• • •

Male voice:  Hello! I’m looking for John.

Me, realizing that this wasn’t our friend:  I’m sorry but there is no John here.

*sound of me laughing out loud at what I’d heard myself say*

Male voice:  What?  What did you say?

Me, figuring that this was a fun phone prank:  There. is. no. John. here.

*sound of me giggling because I’m so mature and all*

Male voice:  Oh… I’m sorry to have bothered you, ma’am.  I guess I have the wrong number.  Good-bye.

Me, sadly deflated that this hadn’t been a prank call:  No problem.  Good-bye.

*sound of me sighing that such a good set-up had gone for naught*

• • •

Kind of makes you wonder, doesn’t it?  Is anybody listening to what they’re saying?  It’s such a pity to waste a good *guffaw* when you stumble over one.  Yet that poor man on the phone– so serious.

So, How ‘Ya Been?

/ Ally Bean / 19 Comments

When I decided to take my blogging hiatus, I thought that I’d be back to The Spectacled Bean within a few weeks.  But things happened.  Obstacles presented themselves.  And in the course of it all, I lost my blogging mojo.  

So what happened, you wonder?  Well, I think that this is one of those blogging moments when only a list can explain things.  To wit, I give you…

~ ~ • ~ ~

THE LAMENTATIONS OF ALLY

•  Our internet connection stopped connecting.  Without going into the details, suffice to say that we are no longer using the less-than-reliable phone company for our ISP and are now using the cable company for our ISP.  And getting this worked out?  Why, it only took 55 days, during which time I couldn’t get to my blog.

•  Our kitchen sink drain pipe developed a leak that we discovered after said leak had partially destroyed the sub-flooring and was dripping into the basement.  While in and of itself this is not a reason to stop writing, it bothered me.  And a bothered Ally Bean is a scattered Ally Bean– and a scattered Ally Bean can’t focus long enough to write a list, let alone a blog post.

•  We had new carpeting installed upstairs and on the stairs, which created the most cluttered home I’ve ever lived in.  All of the upstairs stuff had to come downstairs– and then, of course, go back upstairs.  The mess was everywhere and lasted for about a month because that’s how long it took us to have the time [and energy] to move the stuff all around.  During that time I couldn’t even get to the computer which was trapped inside our home office turned storage warehouse, so no writing for me.

•  Our property was invaded by stink bugs– whose sole mission was to get inside our house.  For about 3 weeks they were all over the screens, peering into the house, just waiting for the opportunity to wander in and die.  And here is what I learned from that experience: when creepy bugs are looking for their final resting place within my home, I become unnerved and cannot write a word.  

~ ~ • ~ ~

So that’s it from here.  It’s just the same old, same old in a whole new way.  Certainly something more interesting has been happening in your world, my gentle readers.  Spill the beans in the comment section below.  I need to know what’s up with you.