5 Simple Straightforward Truths About People

January 20, 2016August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 35 Comments

{ Photo here from THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY DIGITAL COLLECTIONS }

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I share the following because no snit-based personal revelation will ever be overlooked on this blog.

If I’m handed the fuzzy end of the lollipop, you know darned well I’m going to make a post of it.

To wit, I found this list in an undated file with the title: How To People. I’m not sure why I wrote the list, but clearly I. was. in. a. mood.

Not mincing words. Leaning toward cynical. Tired of being ignored by the world. Determined to figure out why.

And planning to never let it happen again.

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5 Simple Straightforward Truths About People

1) People lie. [Gregory House, M.D., said this, of course.]

2) People do what works for them. [I think this is from Dr. Phil.]

3) There are three specific motivators, or a combination thereof, which compel people to do what they do: safety, status, &/or creativity. [I learned this in Psych 101, and man-oh-man is it true.]

4) The people around you are there for: a reason, a season, or life. [This sounds Hallmark-y to me, but don’t know source for sure.]

5) It’s time to let go of a person when: you’re not learning anything new and there’s no possibility of him or her changing. [I used to be on 43 Things, a goal-setting social media community, & some guy left me this advice about one of my goals.]

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[So peoples of the World Wide Web, what have I missed here?]

At The Home Show: Chatting With A Carpenter, Learning Too Much

January 18, 2016January 9, 2017 / Ally Bean / 22 Comments

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AS SOME OF YOU KNOW, I’m the sort of person who people love to talk with. Well, talk to– more accurately.

I’m a good listener and do love a good story. I admit that.

Since I was a teenager, strangers, in particular, have told me their stories. I don’t ask, they just tell me.

Sometimes to their own detriment.

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THUS IT CAME AS NO SURPRISE that when Zen-Den and I were at the Home Show this past weekend, Chatty Charlie the Carpenter deviated from his sales pitch to tell me a story about his nemesis, Danny Long-Greek-Last-Name, who is also a carpenter.

In a nutshell, Chatty Charlie feels that Danny Long-Greek-Last-Name has risen above his station in life. Is a snob now. Who charges too much for his work.

Which Chatty Charlie admits is excellent.

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IN FACT, CHATTY CHARLIE TOLD ME that Danny Long-Greek-Last-Name is the man who finished our house years ago. I’d forgotten the carpenter’s name, but recognized it instantly when I heard it.

Meaning that Danny Long-Greek-Last-Name crafted our beautiful fireplace mantel and surround.

Which I love.

And am looking to have a second level added onto, so that the whole fireplace/mantle/surround area reaches almost up to the apex of the cathedral ceiling.

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NOW LET’S THINK ABOUT THIS conversation, shall we?

Chatty Charlie the Carpenter, who I’m meeting for the first time, in his need to be understood, has inadvertently told me who might do a better job than he could with my small carpentry project– which Chatty Charlie claims he wants to do.

And with that glimpse into how my life unfolds [and how a small business can fail], allow me to end this post with my summation of this conversation: he cut off his nose to spite his face.

This Is Blog Delurking Week? Show Me The Love.

January 8, 2016August 29, 2018 / Ally Bean / 53 Comments

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It has come to my attention that this is Blog Delurking Week.

Apparently this is an annual event which takes place during the first full week of a new year.

That would be this week.

The idea is simple: ask your lurkers to say “hello” in your comment section. Perhaps say a little something about themselves, too.

Naturally I’m late to this party, but thought why not charm you, my gentle readers and lurkers, by making a cute graphic that explains how comments help bloggers stay energized.

See above.

Having created and shared that graphic, I’ll quietly wait for all of you, lurkers, fans, followers, friends + family, to ~~bring me a shrubbery~~ leave me a comment.

One that looks nice and not too expensive. [Extra credit if you know this reference.] 😉

Proverbial Wisdom, Pithy Thoughts, And My Perfect 2016 One Word

January 7, 2016January 7, 2016 / Ally Bean / 23 Comments

I found this proverb while researching something else and I think it is charming. Obvious wisdom, of course– but delightful nonetheless.

I like it.

And inexplicably this proverb has reminded me that I need to decide what my 2016 one word will be.

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[Pepper comes to mind, but I think that might be a bit too literal for the uplifting abstract nature of the one word concept.]

[Besides if I used pepper this year I’d feel obligated to use Sneeze next year– and that would never do at all.]

[Unless I wanted to commit to Tissue the year after that. 😉 But I digress…]

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Last year my word was RECLUSE and I’m all the better for it.

Using it as my catalyst, I politely detached from most of my social obligations, then used the time I gained to reflect upon how people in my life, real and virtual, were treating me.

The result? Users + negative people everywhere are no longer welcome in my life. Sincere + friendly people, whose actions showed them to be on Team Ally, are now my sole focus.

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This year I’m confounded about what word to pick. 2011 was SMOOTH. 2012 was NURTURE so that’s out. 2013 was BALANCE. 2014 I didn’t even have a word.

So far this year I’ve thought about: harmony, rejuvenation, dream, plan— but those words sound pretentious to me, too vague, too much like what the smarmy voiceover says in a prescription medicine TV commercial.

No, what I need is a word that gets me focused on getting things done and enjoying that which I accomplish. A word that is easy to remember and implement in all situations. A way to know I’m on track to achieving my goals.

A word, perhaps, such as FORWARD??!

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[Why yes, that would do nicely. Why didn’t I think of that before?]

[Because it is only through the process of writing that you, Ms. Bean, figure out your life. Don’t you know that by now?]

[It would seem that I’m learning.]

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So there we have it, my gentle readers. A scintillating thought process explained. An encouraging word chosen. And a pithy blog post written.

Oh, ’tis a happy day– forward I go into 2016!