While shopping in the grocery I noticed in the bakery section a box containing two giant chocolate brownies with caramel icing.  They looked delicious.  While not a healthy food choice, I had to have them.  No question about it.

When I went to check out of the store I used the U-Scan lane so, obviously, I ended up scanning these brownies across the machine.  I am a very good scanner.  Fast.  Efficient.  Attentive to the project at hand.

Which subsequently means that I’m also rather quick to bag the items that I scan.  I have a real competitive streak when it comes to this sort of thing.  Always trying to improve upon my personal best.  Planning ahead about where each item is going to go in the bag.

[Does anyone remember a My Name Is Earl episode in which Earl {Jason Lee} is helping some guy {Jon Heder} train for the grocery store baggers national competition?  And in the process of helping this guy both of them get hurt.  So, to have 2 functioning hands/arms they tied themselves together, and entered the competition as one contestant.  It was hilarious. But I digress…]

So I scanned the brownies, my last item, and wedged them into the bag.  It was perfect placement with everything nestled together just so.  I was happy, quietly congratulating myself on a job well done.  Until I realized that the man who maintained the U-Scan lane was walking toward me and shouting something at me.

Naturally, I said the first thing that came to mind which was: “huh?”  I’m sharp like that when I’m confused.

But the grocery store U-Scan man, un-phased by my eloquent retort, said to me:  “show me the brownies.”

Reluctantly, I disassembled my perfect bag to get to the brownies.  All the while I was wondering “why?” but figured that there was a reason, other than mental instability, that caused this grocery store U-Scan man to tell me to do this.  And there was.

Come to find out, the brownies had so much caramel icing on them that their weight had increased.  And the scanner, being a fussy little device that likes its UPC code and weight to match, wouldn’t register them as brownies.  Instead, the scanner said that I was trying to steal something.

Which, of course, I wasn’t.  But I had to prove this to the grocery store U-Scan man by showing him the brownies.  Which, of course, I did.

All of which brings me to the point of this post: any brownie that has so much caramel icing on it that it stops a scanner in its tracks is a very good thing to buy.  Worthy of many repeat purchases– wonky scanner be damned.

Trust me here, people.  These are words to live by.

[Click here to read about my previous encounter with the grocery store U-scan man.]