Guess Who Got Stopped In The U-Scan Lane, Again

While shopping in the grocery I noticed in the bakery section a box containing two giant chocolate brownies with caramel icing.  They looked delicious.  While not a healthy food choice, I had to have them.  No question about it.

When I went to check out of the store I used the U-Scan lane so, obviously, I ended up scanning these brownies across the machine.  I am a very good scanner.  Fast.  Efficient.  Attentive to the project at hand.

Which subsequently means that I’m also rather quick to bag the items that I scan.  I have a real competitive streak when it comes to this sort of thing.  Always trying to improve upon my personal best.  Planning ahead about where each item is going to go in the bag.

[Does anyone remember a My Name Is Earl episode in which Earl {Jason Lee} is helping some guy {Jon Heder} train for the grocery store baggers national competition?  And in the process of helping this guy both of them get hurt.  So, to have 2 functioning hands/arms they tied themselves together, and entered the competition as one contestant.  It was hilarious. But I digress…]

So I scanned the brownies, my last item, and wedged them into the bag.  It was perfect placement with everything nestled together just so.  I was happy, quietly congratulating myself on a job well done.  Until I realized that the man who maintained the U-Scan lane was walking toward me and shouting something at me.

Naturally, I said the first thing that came to mind which was: “huh?”  I’m sharp like that when I’m confused.

But the grocery store U-Scan man, un-phased by my eloquent retort, said to me:  “show me the brownies.”

Reluctantly, I disassembled my perfect bag to get to the brownies.  All the while I was wondering “why?” but figured that there was a reason, other than mental instability, that caused this grocery store U-Scan man to tell me to do this.  And there was.

Come to find out, the brownies had so much caramel icing on them that their weight had increased.  And the scanner, being a fussy little device that likes its UPC code and weight to match, wouldn’t register them as brownies.  Instead, the scanner said that I was trying to steal something.

Which, of course, I wasn’t.  But I had to prove this to the grocery store U-Scan man by showing him the brownies.  Which, of course, I did.

All of which brings me to the point of this post: any brownie that has so much caramel icing on it that it stops a scanner in its tracks is a very good thing to buy.  Worthy of many repeat purchases– wonky scanner be damned.

Trust me here, people.  These are words to live by.

[Click here to read about my previous encounter with the grocery store U-scan man.]

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Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Looking for the crumb of truth in the cookie of life.

11 thoughts on “Guess Who Got Stopped In The U-Scan Lane, Again”

  1. We don’t have a lot of self-scan options around here though I will occasionally use one in the big city. I’d use them more if I didn’t always end up sitting there waiting for someone to help me after the machine screws up. But, I confess, brownies that annoy the scanner would make it almost worth it.

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  2. Thank you, now I have another reason not to use the scanner. They are such a pain in the butt. “Please scan again.” “Place item in bag.” “Remove item from bag.” “Place item in bag.” “Place item in bag.” “Place item in bag.” “Remove item from bag.” AGGGGH!

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    1. Margaret, you are a woman after my own heart. I’ll buy them again– but go through the regular check out lane. Next time I’ll let a trained professional deal with the scanner prob.

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  3. Great observation: “any brownie that has so much caramel icing on it that it stops a scanner in its tracks is a very good thing to buy. ” Sounds like words to live by! (Can apply to so much in life). Yummy and enjoy!

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    1. philosophermouse, brownies are, in and of themselves, delicious. But I tell you, add some frosting and life gets much more interesting!

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