Reflections On That Which Baffles Some Ohioans

save-the-matchesAll I can think to say is one of my favorite sayings: SPIT FIRE AND SAVE THE MATCHES.

This is an exclamation of surprise that means: Well, I’ll be darned! What do you know? Huh.

I’ve also heard this saying in a slightly more vulgar form wherein the “p” in spit is changed to an “h” thereby creating a different word that imparts a similar meaning.  This ruder saying then sometimes becomes a phrase in a NSFW longer saying.

But this is a polite blog so we’re going with the sweet shorter version of the saying.  Plus I like mine better.  It’s cuter, rather dragonesque in its imagery.

• • •

I only share this saying with you, my gentle readers, because it has come to my attention that some of my fellow Ohioans have asked one particular question of ye olde Google.

screen-shot-2016-10-25-at-4-52-35-pm It is a question that I find to be an odd one, but then my fellow Ohioans often baffle me.

I’ve lived in this state most of my life, been educated here, but cannot explain how some of us are, shall we say, enlightened, while others are in the dark.

Dim.  Lacking any spark whatsoever.

• • •

This, I believe, explains how it is that the most popular question on Google that comes from the Buckeye state is: HOW TO MAKE FIRE?

I kid you not, as the following image shows.

It’s a question that suggests overall we Ohioans aren’t the brightest bunch of people, looking as we are for the answer to a question that researchers suggest our ancestors in the second part of the Middle Pleistocene knew the answer to.

But in Ohio today, not so much.  😉

screen-shot-2016-10-24-at-7-20-36-am
{ Find out more about your state’s questions HERE. }

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Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted most days.

51 thoughts on “Reflections On That Which Baffles Some Ohioans”

  1. I had to look – the qustion from my state, North Carolina is “How to be awesome?” and Californians want to know how to spot a narcissist – such a thing to have to worry about. It sounds like your fellow Ohioans really are expecting the collapse of civilization.

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    1. bobcabkings, NC wants to be awesome, eh? From visiting there I kind of thought y’all had that nailed. As for CA and narcissism, they go together like PB and jelly. I, too, wonder about my fellow Ohioans ulterior motives when researching this question. No explaining it.

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  2. “my fellow Ohioans often baffle me”–Haha, I’m with you there.

    What an interesting map. I’ve googled Maine’s question before, and Google was kind enough to provide an answer that worked. 🙂

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    1. Carrie, I re-read this map when I first saw it because I couldn’t believe what I saw. Oy vey. Ohio is a bit out of touch. Now as for Maine, their question seems gentile and useful in these modern days. Better than what they’re up to in Delaware.

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  3. I’d say the folks in Kansas are giving your fellow Ohioans a run for their money as they seem to ask how to find the actual state they’re living in. What in the world…please tell me that some of the questions are taken out of context…smh.

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    1. Dana, I saw that Kansas question and decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. I believe they are merely getting directions to give to their relatives when family comes to visit. The Kansas folks are worried that no one will find them, so they want to have proof positive that the state does indeed exist! 😉

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  4. I’m over here in How to be awesome. The answer, of course, is to always stay classy. 🙂

    I am however concerned about the question: “How to get away with murder?” I am hoping that particular state just really likes the show and isn’t actually trying to do real life research.

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    1. Allie P, aren’t you the most classy awesome person! Good answer. I, too, wonder about a whole state that’s interested in finding out how to get away with murder. Not planning a vacay there any time soon. 😉

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  5. I also love NJ’s question . . .

    And having lived in SC for 3 years during law school, its question makes great sense as well. SC has cockroaches they affectionately call Palmetto Bugs.

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    1. NJ kind of makes this map all the more relevant. Personally my fave question is Louisiana: “how to pickle eggs.” Now there’s a question that reminds me of days gone by.

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  6. Wait a sec… Ohio is the home of the Ohio Blue Tip Match Company; why would they need to figure out how to make fire? I mean, you can srike those just about anywhere. I used to light them off my zipper…

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    1. John, I didn’t know [or remember?] that Blue Tip matches were made here. I remember my dad lighting those matches off his coat zipper. Or sometimes a brick wall. That all being said, your observation makes me wonder even more about Ohio’s question. How dim are we? 😉

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    1. Margaret, I see your point. No one wants an earthquake, but at least your state is asking a question that is current. In Ohio? We’re still working on the basics.

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  7. Reading the comments here is always so much fun! As for my state, I’ve always kind of wanted to have a few chickens. Not very practical at the moment but it seems to be a common goal amongst my people. Once you Ohioans figure out fire, maybe we can get together.

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    1. Parenting Is Funny, I got a big kick out of these questions, too. Some are so serious while others are more practical or cartoonesque. Don’t know what any of it means, but it sure made me smile.

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          1. Oh definitely. They are the closest to Japan, so I can see the interest being greater there. But truly, that should be the top question in every state. The MN one of how to quilt made me smile b/c my MIL in MN quilts.

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