Zen-Den and I were shopping at a large outlet mall, an outside one on about an acre of land.
Lots of walking. Lots of people.
Good deals everywhere.
As we were moseying along, me staring in all the store windows, him guiding me along so that I didn’t bump into anyone or anything, I got grumbly with him.
He kept telling me where the stores were. The stores had large signs that I could read but he kept calling out their names like a disembodied voice on a subway line.
Finally I asked him why he was doing this. He said:
“It’s my job to point out the stores to you. It’s your job to judge them harshly. That’s how it works with us.”
~ ~ • ~ ~
Never underestimate the importance of knowing your place in the world.
😉
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Rivergirl, exactly! To thine own self & all that…
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Sounds like you two make a good tag team.
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Jill, we do make a good tag team. I’ve never thought of it like that, but you are right.
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As Honest Abe Lincoln one said (so they say) “whatever you are, be a great one.”
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Yes, Zen-Den, that’s a good quote. And damned, I’m a great critic when it comes to retail establishments. 🤨
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Haha! Love this.
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Thanks, Deb. The man is a good judge of character! 😉
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informative
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You betcha!
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You two were made for each other.
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Janis, I think you’re right. 😍
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This made me laugh. That sounds like my husband and me shopping.
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Michele, sometimes these husbands can be useful and astute! 😉
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And sometimes they are less than helpful and not so bright. 😀
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Word.
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But they always hold the bags and purse.
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Yes, that’s true. And we appreciate it so much. Oh yes we do! 💗
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LOL. I like Zen-Den! Wondering, though, which store is the recipient of your harsh judgment… :-p
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Mary, most stores are the recipients of my harsh judgment. I don’t like to go shopping, but need to once in a while. Thus I grumble about what is wrong with each store the whole time I’m shopping.
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The only store I’ve ever truly grumbled about was Abercrombie and Fitch, who would blow the smell of their perfume out into the mall. Disgusting. I’m glad they are no longer there.
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Yes, I’d forgotten about that stinky store. It was too dark in there, too. It was like going into a modern version of an opium den. 😐
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LOL, I never thought of it that way.
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😉
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He knows you well. My husband’s job is to be patient and then encourage me on toward the ice cream store.
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Kate, I like your husband’s purpose while you two are out shopping. I’ll suggest that to Z-D. I suspect he’ll be willing to add it to the agenda. 😉
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Happy endings are good even if it’s just ice cream.
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Excellent point. 🍨
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Love this! It made me laugh out loud.
… but the thing I’m most impressed with is that your husband goes shopping with you!
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Joanne, glad you got a laugh. I laughed, too, when he said it. So true.
Yes, Z-D and I go shopping together. He can be useful while we shop, carrying things, keeping me from blowing my top at the price of things. You know, the usual… 🙄
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You see – this is why I don’t shop with my husband. HE would be the one hyperventilating over the price of everything and crushing my shopping buzz 😉
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Good to know what works for you. 😉
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That’s how it works…
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Yes it is, John.
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hey at least he is watching over your shopping zone for you… making sure you don’t bump into anyone AND don’t miss the stores as you walk by. (on a side note, I would have said the same thing, my oldest son insists on reading signs to me all the time and I often say… I can read you know). But, hey at least he ZD has a reason for it?
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teacherturnedmommy, you’re right. He’s helpful and I do appreciate it. But the consistency with which he calls out my “stops” can be annoying. Like you said: I can read, thank you very much, Mr. Man.
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Well, now I want to know some of the choice words you have for these stores. Granted, I haven’t been in a mall in many years… so I’m not even up to date on what all the latest fad chains are, but I’d happily read a post full of retail judgmentality.
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evil, I worked in retail for a long time and it made me a cranky fussbudget about stores. I don’t go into brick and mortar stores often, which is probably just as well. Dumb stuff for sale, poorly merchandized with irritating sales clerks. *meh*
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I’m still stuck at your first sentence – the one acre outdoor shopping mall. I’m so jealous – it must be heaven to have such a place nearby, but then I am a shopper, and bargains make it even better.
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Joni, this particular shopping center is out in some former farmlands, so it’s flat and spread out. I may not like shopping per se but I like walking around outside so going there isn’t a complete bummer.
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We don’t have many outlet malls in Canada, probably the closest is in Niagara Falls, which is 4 hours away for me!
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Oh that’s a drive. We have lots of outlet malls and discount centers around here. Some are great, others aren’t worth the land they occupy. Shopping is always something, isn’t it? 😉
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Great one-liner! Thanks for a fun share, AB & ZD!
BFF and I shop together too . . . although we walk past 97% of the stores on our route. 😛
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nancy, I think we probably do the same thing as you and BFF. It’s all about the walking really. I don’t like to go shopping, but I’ll go into a few stores– say 3%.
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Except on rare occasions (e.g., when sightseeing in quiet coastal communities with a lovely main street), I only shop “with a mission” ~ go in, get it, and leave.
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I understand. I’m a woman on a mission, but the stores don’t seem to understand my mission and try to confuse me with other things. If they’d just have what I wanted straightaway, I wouldn’t have to judge these stores so harshly. 🤨
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I like the part about watching you so you don’t bump into anyone or anything. That’s my husband’s job. He is the grumbler in our pair though. He is also impatient which does not make for good shopping experiences. We rarely do it together. Nice that you can, though.
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Janet, yes it’s a good thing that Z-D keeps an eye on me when we’re out shopping. I’m distractible and usually lost in my thoughts. He’s a patient fellow. Sorry your husband isn’t into shopping together. It can be fun, in its own way.
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I like the interplay between you two. It’s important to understand the dynamics of one’s relationships. Mine have had a variety of similar roles, which make for interesting conversations at times. 😉
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Margaret, I agree. You gotta know who the other person really is if you’re going to have a solid relationship. He gets me. Some days I feel kind of sorry for him because he does understand me. 🙄
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Haha. Funny guy!
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Betsy, he is. Usually spot on about the truth of things.
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I love that he understands the system and how everyone fits into it. Do you suppose he wonders if you bumble about, unable to find any stores, when you go without him? 😆
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Laura, yours is a great question. I’m going to assume that he knows I can navigate shopping anywhere on my own when I must. But maybe I should ask him to make sure!
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Knowing your job and doing it well is important.
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Dan, I agree. We’re clear on our roles. And do them to the best of our abilities.
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😊😊 What a card! 😊😊
Judging stores harshly is probably the only way I can make it through a mall these days. Just going to one irritates me.
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L. Marie, me too! I dislike shopping and I dislike the stores and I dislike what the stores have to offer. The only saving grace is Z-D keeping track of me and where I might want to be.
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Awwwwwwww. That’s beautiful. 🙂
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Thank you, Tara. 😊
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I’d love to read some of your one-liner retail criticisms!
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Donna, good idea. I should pay more attention to what I say about these stores and the stuff in them. Usually I’m just muttering as I go along, not. happy. at. all. 😬
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Ah, yes, the husband looking for something, anything to help pass the time on a shopping venture. Please give Zen Den my thanks for something new to try. 😉 – Marty
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Marty, I’ll let him know that he’s given you an idea. He’ll be pleased, no doubt.
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☺️
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Hi Ally, The Venus, Mars thing is evident in your story. Gotta love them:)
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Erica/Erika, you’re right. I hadn’t thought of that, but it’s true. 🤔
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Haha — awesome. :0)
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Thanks, Pam. He’s a goof, but an observant one.
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Our shopping together moments are usually limited to big stuff like cars and furniture. I don’t think either of us enjoys the regular shopping much.
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Eilene, I can understand that. I don’t like to go shopping, but I accept that sometimes I have to. When Z-D joins me he makes it better with his quips– and he carries bags which is nice, too.
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Hope that is not all of the relationship? Rethorical question!
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Junieper2, there’s more to us than this little snippet of conversation. We get along pretty well truth be told.
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Thank you for giving me the assurance (joking
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😉
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Zen-Den takes you shopping AND comments on your blog.
In a word: I’d keep him! 😀
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marian, he’s a good one, isn’t he? I plan on keeping him, to be sure.
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I smiled as I read his comment. These guys of ours. Many times they seem “clueless,” and then suddenly they come out with profound (if not quite understandable) statements. 🙂 Love it.
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Pam, you said it. In fact I call Z-D Zen-Den because he’ll listen to me talk for 5 minutes about a situation, then he’ll summarize my blathering into one succinct Buddhist-like koan. It can be infuriating, but also reassuring.
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SOOO great. But if you’re like me, I kinda hate it that my guy is (almost) always right. ;-0 🙂
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Yep. I hear ‘ya.
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I’m a rapid shopper – in and out and done. Unfortunately I’m married to a wandering one who is just mesmerized by any little thing along the aisles – ironically and oddly, he complains about the dog examining every blade of grass on walks. Takes one to know one?
Funny post ( “disembodied voice on a subway line” – love that image)
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philmouse, I want to be an efficient shopper, but when the stores don’t have what I want I get cranky. And let me assure you I don’t want anything fancy– therein being my problem.
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I love to see a match made in heaven or on a shopping street?! LOL – gotta love a guy who cuts to the chase and keeps us smiling with their clever and competitive with us kinda wit, right?!
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Shelley, you betcha. He’s a funny one, and he carries bags without being asked. Win-win.
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He’s a keeper!!
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Fair enough. lol
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Lacey, it works for us.
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I like it.
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That makes me laugh! I get frustrated when my husband reads signs aloud. I don’t understand it. And now my SON is doing it!!!! When I asked why he just said “I don’t know. I sometimes just read them aloud.” I’ve come to the conclusion that they both do it because they don’t like silence.
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katie, that’s an astute observation about why the men in your life read the signs aloud. I wonder if that’d apply to Zen-Den?
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I had to laugh! Zen-Den established a way to participate in shopping, even if it was making you grumbly. At least, he is shopping with you! I can get my husband to Lowe’s and Best Buy. 😄
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Robin, I’m sure that Z-D would prefer to be at Lowe’s or Best Buy, but he’s a good guy so he shops with me despite his preferences.
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Shopping? Did someone say shopping? I remember those days. Never with my husband, though. He played golf. I shopped. Now he sometimes plays golf. I rarely shop (though probably more than I realize.) Not sure what we do now. Huh. We’re binge-watching TV, I suppose. And eating. And gaining weight. Hmmm…definitely not shopping this tax-free weekend! That’s just craziness! Even crazier to try and do it with husband in tow — he who makes me regret I ever thought about taking him with me! Mona
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Mona, I don’t really like to shop but I’m a pragmatist so I realize I have to go into stores once in a while. I look forward to binge-watching TV and just being us. Thanks for stopping by to give me an idea about how other couples fill their hours.
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Love the team work!
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Thanks! We try although I’m not sure that both of us are totally into shopping. Just saying…
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I thought this line “he kept calling out their names like a disembodied voice on a subway line” was great until Zen-Den made his proclamation!
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My husband sometimes annoys me with his backseat driving, but it sounds like your husband engages in backseat shopping.
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The Travel Architect, yes it is a form of backseat shopping. Great way to describe it. I like how you think.
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I love the way he thinks! This post made me laugh at the end.
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Jean R., he’s a good one for pointing out what’s really going on with things. And then make me laugh about it.
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funny how such a short post could make me smile so much – well done
and this…
“stores had large signs that I could read”
— ahhh so fun to have friendship and humor with your partnership
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Despite being peeved with Z-D as we were walking along, I did laugh at his one-liner. He is right about us– and can always get me smiling even when I want to be upset.
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🙂
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I love this comment even more than I loved the post – and it’s a doozy of a post 🙂
Himself is more of a shopper than I am – I frequently trail along behind him up & down aisles, as he expresses his enthusiasm – but rarely purchases – which is a great combination! He also has the ability to have me roaring (or snorting) with laughter, so that I look like a crazy old lady. It makes shopping way more fun 😀
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deb, it’s much more fun doing the shopping thing with someone who makes you laugh and keep it all in perspective. I’m glad that Himself does that for you.
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Haha! Excellent! 😀
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Why thank you!
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Haha! I get it! (And I also get his guiding you along so you don’t bump into things… mine does that too. Don’t know if you react the same as I do, but clumsy as I am, it really annoys me!)
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