Planning To Be Kind AND Kindly Planning My Future

PLANNING TO BE KIND

Tomorrow, November 13th, is World Kindness Day. It’s based on another one of those core values that I think is important. The value being [obviously]: KINDNESS.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines KINDNESS as: the quality of being kind as in treating people with kindness and respect. The dictionary goes on to say that synonyms for KINDNESS are words like: benevolence, courtesy, favor, grace, service.

Musing on these words while thinking about my childhood and the way my WASP parents reared me, I suspect I never had a chance to not be kind. I just didn’t, but that’s only me. 😇

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF TO BE KIND?

So what do you think, a good idea?

~ ~ • ~ ~

KINDLY PLANNING MY FUTURE

Opening a Franklin Planner catalogue that came in the snail mail a card fell out onto the counter top. The card, featured in the photo below, clearly states the raison d’être of the company.

I started laughing because, well– hell to the yes, this company wants me to plan. Thanks for reminding me, just in case I didn’t notice the name of your company.

But the more I looked at the card the more I realized that I adhere to a slacker philosophy that is more geared toward doing good enough. This is because I realize that plans change, often– and that I can live contentedly not planning every stinking detail of my best life.

Yes, I’d say that I’m being kind to myself by allowing for things to not be best. 🙄

HOW ABOUT YOU, DO YOU PLAN FOR YOUR BEST LIFE OR FOR YOUR GOOD ENOUGH LIFE?

Perhaps I’m being ornery, but isn’t *good enough* good enough?

~ ~ • ~ ~

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Humorous. Adaptable. Charmingly cynical. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted by choice. Fond of words.

183 thoughts on “Planning To Be Kind AND Kindly Planning My Future”

    1. LA, 2020 has been a year that defies logic, so I gave up planning for it altogether. However next year will be different. *fingers crossed* You’re not kind, you say? Interesting. I’d say being respectful is a type of kindness.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I think there’s a subtle difference. I always respect someone’s opinions and thoughts and personal space. But if I think someone is being an idiot it’s hard for me to hold back

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    1. Kate, nicely said. In my younger days I was a perfectionist, but I got over that “best” idea a long time ago. Hadn’t thought about that shift in thinking until this card dropped out on the counter.

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    1. shoreacres, that’s what I said when I first read the card that dropped out: “I live my life.” But then I realized where the card came from and that planning to be best was so not me, a known kindhearted slacker.

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  1. I don’t know if there’s a best plan, too much of what we plan for is out of our control. It’s always just a best guess. We are doing some estate planning right now, and it is all about averages and predictions and actuaries and statistics, none of which might happen. The things that mean the most, yes, we should have a plan for, but it might change on a whim!

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    1. Dorothy, exactly! Well said. You’re right, it’s just a best guess. I’ve sat around looking at all those estate planning stats and my eyes glazed over. I like that we have a plan, but honestly no one knows what’ll happen next. Take 2020 for instance. 🙄

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  2. The concept of “you can’t plan your entire existence” is a work in progress for me. It’s not the day to day stuff. That comes and goes and I think I roll with it. It’s the limited future and what I want to do with that as I glide down the slope known as aging.

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    1. Deb, I like your thinking. I don’t want to plan my entire existence either, but of course the card that fell out of the catalogue is from a planner company so they’ve some skin in the game trying to convince me otherwise. “Gliding down the slope known as aging” is a great line, btw. I want to do that good enough and be kind along the way.

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  3. It may take a while before I focus on planning. It seems like, for most of my career, all I really did was plan. Create a plan, explain a plan, monitor progress (or the lack thereof), report status, revise the plan, blah, blah, blah, plan. Planning reminds me too much of work.

    Sorry, Ally. You make a good point about planning, and certainly, planning to be kind is an admirable goal. But like you, the way I was raised makes it impossible for me to not be kind. No plan required, that’s on auto-pilot.

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    1. Dan, yes you raise a good point about the connection between planning and work. Thinking back on things I get what you’re saying– and this year hasn’t been one in which plans meant much of anything. Therefore my “good enough” attitude seems spot on.

      I know what you mean about kindness being set on auto-pilot. That’s an apt and lovely turn of phrase there.

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        1. I didn’t take your comment as a downer. I took it as the way things are. I suspect you’re better at planning for yourself than you think you are. Otherwise how could you have ever written all those blog posts? Hmmm?

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    1. Markus + Micah, excellent question. When I was younger I was a perfectionist, but have mellowed over the years. I think of myself as a slacker now, but maybe I’m relaxed. In either case, I’m kindhearted toward myself about whoever I am. 😊

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  4. I am always kind . . . except when I’m not.
    I always plan for the best . . . except when I don’t. 😛

    I move gently in the direction I wish to head, without worrying about getting blown off course.
    “A good traveler has no set plans and is not intent on arriving.” ~ Lao Tzu

    And good enough is good enough.
    Especially this year!

    Happiness is not waiting for us at the end of the road ~ it’s found here and now, by enjoying each step along the way!

    Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

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    1. Nancy, clearly Lao Tzu is not on the board of directors at the Franklin Planner company. 🤨

      While I like his/my more relaxed approach to living your life, I do, on occasion, have to plan things. It’s part of the modern world in which we live. But when I do get into a planning mode I adopt a good enough is good enough approach– and I do so kindly. Which I hope would please Mr. Tzu.

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      1. I plan . . . but only in a flexible way, remaining open to other opportunities. So I make a grocery list, but deviate from it when it makes sense. I plan out meals for the day, not for the entire week or month, Etc.

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        1. I do about the same thing when it comes to meals and exercise and books to be read, but when it comes to doctor’s appointments they tell me when to be where so I guess… I plan to adhere to their plans. [Getting meta here.]

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  5. It was difficult to plan with kids in the house, then it was difficult to plan with kids out there in the world, then it was 2020 and the word “plan” fell out of my lexicon. I try to be kind always except fuck Nazis.

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    1. Marian, yes I see your point. I used to be better at planning every little thing, but then I grew older and life got more complicated. And as you said, 2020 removed the word “plan” from my lexicon. With you on kindness, too. My motto is: cause no harm, but take no shit.

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  6. I could have written LA comment up above. I’m always kind but repeatedly being called an idiot (these past four years) it’s hard to hold your tongue. Hard but not impossible. Kindness is in my DNA. My dad was the kindest person I’ve ever known, only once in my life did I ever hear him raise his voice in anger.

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    1. Jean R, oh I take your point. LA is onto something. I tend to believe that it’s okay to shut down people who are deliberately rude to me. I’d say that’s the kind thing to do, respecting myself enough to do so. I figure kindness is as much for me as it is for how I interact with other people.

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  7. I have made 10 cards, written notes in them and mailed them yesterday for world kindness day. Sent them off to health care friends who I thought might need a boost. I strive to be kind and compassionate.
    I live my best life daily, even in 2020, by living within my core values of family, friends and fitness. That’s my best life when I take care of myself and those around me.

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    1. bernieLynne, you done good, as the old-timers used to say. I can only imagine that your friends will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Considering how difficult 2020 has been I think that the whole world focusing on kindness, even for a day, is wonderful.

      I admire your determination to life your best life. I suspect your core values are motivating you to do so. Carry on, my dear.

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        1. I hear ‘ya. I’m the same way. I believe that kindness isn’t necessarily being passive, it’s being respectful to yourself and to others. Trying to overlook the fools, but not letting them take advantage of you.

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    1. Donna, I like the idea of World Kindness Day. I don’t know that there’s any specific way to celebrate it, but I plan on focusing on positive vibes for the day. I figure that’d be good enough! 😉

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    1. AutumnAshbough, that’s an interesting distinction you make between being compassionate and being kind. I get your tendency to jump to unkind conclusions, I do that, too. Although if one thing blogging has taught me it is that there’s always more to the story. 🤔

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  8. I’m usually easy-going and empathetic, which facilitates being kind. But I can also be impatient and develop an attitude. Since the onset of the pandemic, I am working much harder at learning patience and taking the time to try and put a smile on the faces (behind the masks) of the people serving me during this difficult time. Flexing my kindness muscle has become my regular workout, as it were.

    I’m with you on “good enough”. I’ve had years of aiming to be my best. And I’ve earned the right (in my mind at least), to settle for Good Enough. It’s a great place to inhabit.

    Deb

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    1. Deb, I can develop an attitude, too. I understand that. I mean, there comes a point where easygoing gets pushed too far. I like your way of describing your behavior of late: flexing your kindness muscle. Very positive.

      Welcome to Team Good Enough. I was a perfectionist when I was younger, and always went for Best. But I got older and wiser and more tired– so now I go for Good Enough keeping in mind that if I stumble over Best that’s ok, too.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Margaret, I think the same thing. The idea that you must be going for the best all the time is triggering for anyone with perfectionistic tendencies. Good enough is easier to get to. And dare I say, enjoy?

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  9. Kindness day is also my parents 55th anniversary.

    I was raised to be kind, and I am a kind person- but I do not hesitate to hold people accountable for lousy behavior.

    I tend to be a planner but that is not always practical. I think I’m better at regrouping than planning – out of necessity. I make a list of things to do, but I let myself off the hook when other stuff gets in the way and then try again the next day.

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    1. Ernie, no kidding? Happy anniversary to them.

      I agree that you can be kind and hold people accountable for their lousy behavior. Kindness isn’t be a pushover, it’s be strong and articulate when necessary.

      When I was younger I’d plan everything in the extreme, but as I’ve aged, I like to think gracefully, I’ve loosened up on planning. Like you I make a list, I do what I can, then I move onto the next day figuring I did good enough yesterday, probably will do the same today.

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  10. I am kind, but sometimes I catch myself thinking unkind thoughts, about the girth of someone’s abdomen, or the color of someone’s hair, and then I scold myself. My family thinks I am too kind – I am labeled a “pushover”. I just believe people are good until they prove themselves otherwise. Some people view kindness as a weakness.

    However, put me behind the wheel of a car, and then I am slinging insults to the drivers, who don’t deserve Driver’s Licenses.

    I am a planner when it comes to big things, but most of the time I roll with the punches. I do like those planner books, I like to look through them and see how much I have actually accomplished. But this year, has been a year of surprises, horrible surprises and I am just surviving at this point.

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    1. SD Gates, I’d suggest that if any human being doesn’t think unkind thoughts every once in a while then that human being is really an alien from another planet. I also believe that thinking something is entirely different from saying something.

      You’re right about how some people think kindness is a weakness, often weaponizing kindness to use it against you. Been there, had that done to me.

      I like to plan, in theory. But in reality this last year has left me doubting the value of counting on any event happening as planned. It’s more tiring and defeating to plan things now than to go with the flow… to wherever it is we’re all going.

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    1. Janis, I agree about how exhausting it’d be to always be planning the best. Welcome to Team Good Enough, proud to have you among our ranks. I’m not always kind either. I think it’d be impossible to be so and retain any shred of self-worth. Sometime you have to snap, or be marginalized. People will take advantage of kindness.

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  11. Wouldn’t it be so much funnier if during THIS year, they had a card that said PLAN YOUR GOOD ENOUGH LIFE BECAUSE WHO NEEDS A PLANNER ANYMORE?

    World Kindness Day really needs to be every day, quite honestly. We all need to be a little gentler with each other although I guess everyone’s idea of kind is based on their perspective.

    I do like your posts. They make me think and I feel as of late, my brain is mush. So thank you for the physical therapy for my brain. I assume there is a co-pay…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kari, yes, yes! That’d be a great thing to see from a planner company. It’d show a bit of self-deprecating humor, so I’d probably buy more of their stuff.

      Forget just a day I’m with you on the need for maybe World Kindness Year? I could see that as beneficial.

      No co-pay when you leave a comment so you’re good. No comment and your premiums double. 🤑

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  12. I do, but not in traditional ways. I am not a five year plan kind of girl and I need lots of room for Inspiration, desire and creativity to guide me. I know where I want to be in the long run, but I am open to Divine gifts on how to proceed.

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    1. Sarah, I like your approach. I, too, know where I’d like to end up but allow for, using your words, inspiration, desire and creativity to guide me. I’ve never understood the appeal of a five [or more] year plan, but they must bring comfort to some people considering how often I hear someone mention one. I wish them well, it’s just not me.

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  13. I do try to be kind and consider myself a friendly person. ( I do slip and swear in my head sometimes if I am annoyed by someone!) But I am never mean.
    I am not so much of a planner as I am a worrier and I try to anticipate what might go wrong with whatever I need to do. That often makes me anxious! Doh!

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    1. Ellen D., I’d guess that many of us swear in our heads about other people. How could you not? It’s the saying it out loud part that gets you into trouble. 🙄

      You make a good point about how worry and planning can overlap. I worry some, especially about big expensive house projects– so in those cases I need a comprehensive plan. Situations make a difference when it comes to plans.

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  14. I’m a fan of kindness, especially when no one’s looking. Surprise kindness! Of course, I see being kind as just being a decent human.

    As for the best life nonsense, YES I SAID IT, marketing people are deeply unhappy people, I think, trying to make the rest of us as miserable as they are (not all, of course, in this unscientific example, but you get my drift). Besides, what’s a planner for when all the days are the same? I might buy a post-COVID planner and reconsider my position at that time.

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    1. Tara, I agree with you that being kind is being a decent human being. It’s not that difficult to do– most of the time.

      I’m laughing about your opinion of marketing people. You may be onto something there. I found the card weirdly desperate. Obviously I don’t need to plan for a best life in the middle of a pandemic and no amount of inspirational cards are going to change that fact. But there the card was taunting me. Come to think of it, I may not be Franklin Planner’s ideal customer.

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      1. I’m thinking grad school and I’m thinking psychology and now I’m thinking my thesis will be about marketers miserableness and playing on people’s fears. And I’ll totally quote you as a source for “weirdly desperate.” 🙂

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  15. I am a world-class planner. I love planning and even planning to plan. (I make lists of lists I need to make.) That said, after I plan, I often let go and see what the universe wants to do–frequently letting plans fall by the wayside. I’ve noticed that the act of planning puts the intended outcome out there and it often happens without direct effort. Reading over what I just wrote, it sounds kinda woo-woo. But I stand by it, Ally. Happy World Kindness Day!

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    1. Donna, I can see where you’re coming from with your planning. I’d never thought of it like that, and now that I do there’s a certain wisdom to it. I am good at planning, but I don’t do much of it. Maybe I need to put more of that energy out there in the world, telling the Universe precisely what I’m thinking about, just to see what comes my way. Happy World Kindness Day to you, too.

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  16. Well, I bought a new planner for next year and wrote about it but I’m of the more flexible kind of mindset. If I put it in the planner and it doesn’t happen, I just cover it with a cute sticker. :).

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  17. I am a dreamer and a planner. I’ve dreamed of the good life while trying to live my best life. After 30+ years of work for both my husband and I we’d both say we’re living our dream on. 76 acre homestead in eastern Washington state. Planning and dreaming are powerful when combined! Kindness and empathy spark a powerful love to do good, be good and look out for one another. I’m dreaming and planning for a ‘kinder’ 2021❤️🙏🏻❤️

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    1. Sue, you’ve got it going on. I like your dreamer + planner combination which seems obvious, but maybe not so much. For some reason when I think of planning I think of analytical reasoning and when I think of dreaming I think of haphazard reasoning. Kind of opposite concepts. But obviously by putting them together you’ve gotten to where you want to be. Good job, kindly done. 😉

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  18. I’ve been told I’m a very “kind” person. But honestly, I don’t think of myself as kind. I just like to put myself in the other’s point of view/perspective. Then I feel like I understand his/her needs in a way that maybe I can help. Perhaps I’m not as kind to myself…? I do make plans – my calendar is full of scritch scratch. But my favorite day is one in which there is no plan. Then, I’m kind to myself, and just sit and read and write. 🙂

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    1. Pam, fascinating that you don’t think of yourself as kind but are perceived to be. Like you I’m good at seeing things from another person’s perspective, too. I attribute that to personality and being an English Lit major.

      I understand the scritch scratches on the calendar. It’s not that I’m against planning, I’m not. Truth be told I’m good at it. But I wonder how sane it is to aim for best, a word that implies perfection. A day without a plan is a good day.

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    1. Dawn, I see nothing wrong with being unkind in your thoughts while being outwardly kind. It seems sane to me. And as for being crossed… my motto is: do no harm, but take no shit. Sounds like you might have the same worldview.

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  19. Remember ‘we plan, God laughs’? I am a planner and an organizer but at this age have come to terms with the fact that I have zero control over anything. If I have ever waivered on remembering that, 2020 hit me in the head with it. 🙂 In general, I think I’m kind, but sometimes I do have to work on it harder than other times. 🙂

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    1. Judy, I do remember that saying. 2020 is the poster child for it, if a year can be a poster child. I like to plan, but like you I’ve realized that it’s all theoretical because you cannot control so many variables. Good point about the effort involved in being kind. Sometimes it just doesn’t seem worth it, she says kindly.

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  20. I AM kind but I wouldn’t say that except for answering this. I *would* say I’m helpful & thoughtful. I must admit the term “best life” and “living your best life” rankle me (and I never use them) so I’m surely not a candidate for planning for said! 😊 I’m not a big planner no matter how you look at it.

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    1. Colette, helpful and thoughtful are good ways to describe kindness. I don’t suppose it really matters how you describe yourself as long as you are kind in some/many ways. I’m with you about “best life” or worse yet, “be best.” I dislike those terms as they seem canned and intended to sell me on something. Case in point, this card that fell out of the catalogue.

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  21. Ally, this is a subject I think about a lot. I DO consider myself to be kind. I think I always considered myself an outsider (my friends would be surprised by that). This made me more empathetic.

    I think I plan not for my best life, but for the life that is right for me. Who am I to say whether that life is the best?

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    1. Laurie, I’ve been an outside all my life [would be the theme of my memoir if I ever wrote one] and as such, like you, I’m empathetic, often understanding people better than they understand themselves.

      I like how you’ve worded your take on living your best life. I agree. The whole concept of best doesn’t ring true with me.

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  22. Oh, I’m definitely kind. Kind of a smartass!!

    But also, kind…as in, nice. Friendly. Helpful. All of that. And I absolutely plan for my best life by doing things like moving halfway across the country, and then quitting a job I love for a better job. You only get one shot…might as well make the most of it!

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    1. Swinged Cat, great answers to the questions. I like how you know yourself so well, Mr. Smartass. And as for living well, you’ve nailed that with all your choices. Carry on

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  23. Oh the best laid plans of mice and men… the best part of retirement is not having to plan that much. As for kindness, I think I can be very kind. But not always. Just enough. 😜

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    1. Kathy, I like the idea of being kind enough. That rings true to me. The thing is I like to plan but just not with my eye on being best. That’s what I got me thinking after reading the card that fell out.

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  24. Friday the 13th is my lucky day, so I’m happy it’s also World Kindness Day. I do think I’m kind, at least I try hard to be. Of course, I’m not always, but I do strive. 🙂 Planning? Yes, I plan, although more along the lines of what I need to do each day. I do have plans for other things but they’re not set in stone…or even in a planner. I’ve fallen behind on my journal which is where I like to record my “plans” and dreams. Maybe right now I’m just focused on helping my parents and whatever else comes along, especially in a new place. That may have to be enough for now.

    janet

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    1. janet, you speak for all of us when you say you’re trying hard to be kind. What more can any of us ask of ourselves?

      I have lots of lists and daily plans, too. I get things done so it’s not like I’m a total slacker. I just don’t like the idea of setting my plans in stone, writing them in a planner as if best is the be-all and end-all. And you make a great point about how it’s more important to focus on the now, helping your parents, rather than strive for perfect plans. Priorities, I’d say.

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      1. Based on what I saw/read during this election cycle and even before that on what I’ve regularly seen in the comment section following online articles, on FB, or even in apps like NextDoor, supposedly to connect neighbors, I have my doubts about everyone trying to be kind. I think people tend to be more kind face-to-face, whereas the relative anonymity of the internet allows very unkind things to be all too common.

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        1. I imagine you’re right about the division between people who model kindness and people who refuse to be kind. Internet anonymity brings out the worst in some people who are determined to cause trouble. I don’t get it, but I see it, too. Fortunately I’m not on FB or NextDoor so I remain blissfully unaware of what the haters are up to. In this particular instance, ignorance is bliss.

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            1. I understand that. I deleted my FB account years ago and have never regretted it. Funny thing is, the people who really care about you will find you– and you’ll hear nary a peep from the people who were pretending to be your friends. There is no downside.

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  25. I am not nice but I do think I’m kind. I try to be, anyway.

    I am a BEST LIFE planner type person. My sister and I just had a conversation where we discussed how we both are constantly always tweaking and setting goals and trying to be better. In our quest to be better, we’ve been realizing that we’re making ourselves crazy and it might be time to accept good enough. So I appreciated your comments. 🙂

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    1. Katie, I take your point about the difference between nice and kindness. Totally agree. I am the same way.

      It’s not that I don’t strive for my best, I do. It’s that I don’t plan for it, allowing it to happen if it does while accepting good enough with grace. Once upon a time I was a perfectionist, but fate showed me the folly of that path.

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  26. I am not much of a planner, and maybe that’s why I’ve never had what anyone would consider to be a “successful career.” So be it. I’ve renounced my perfectionist ways and try be be kind to myself first. Then I can be kind to others.

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    1. Eilene, I’m the same way. I am good at planning, but I’m also good at being resilient knowing that most plans change a lot. Therefore I go with a good enough plan.

      You make a great point about how you need to be kind to yourself first, before you can be authentically kind to other people. Many times that idea gets lost in conversations about kindness.

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  27. I’m not much of a planner in the planning my life kind of way. People who have 5 year, 10 year, 20 year plans always impress the hell out of me. I find the whole idea so daunting and like I don’t have a lot of control over so much of it. So I put my energy into doing my best with what is in front of me, and be happy and kind to myself and those around me.

    Being kind is a big one for me, very important. That doesn’t mean I am always polite or submissive, just that I try to do the right thing whenever possible.

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    1. J, I’ve never been able to write one of those multiple year life plans wherein I assert where I’ll be years hence. It seems like fantasy to me and I’m too pragmatic for such. Like you I focus on what I’m doing now, and trust the process to get me to where I need to be later.

      I like how you define kindness. I agree. I’m not passive or a goody two shoes, I am respectful of myself and others. As in doing the right thing for all concerned.

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      1. I AM a planner, though, in short term stuff. I like to plan my week, my day, meals, all of that. I have a little Franklin Covey planner that is just a colander, one month on a page, and I love that. Actually, it’s time to order a new refill. 2 years ago I decided to give it a break and try a year without, just go digital. I didn’t like it at all! We also have a big one month calendar on our fridge, for appointments and things. I am a bit too wedded to that thing, I’ll admit, and get frustrated if others don’t remember things that are right there in front of them. Though I have been on the wrong side of that one myself recently…

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        1. I have the same Franklin planner. All I need to see is a month at a glance and I’m good to go. I’ve never tried to go digital with my appointments and such. It’s so much faster to scribble them on a paper page than to find my phone, enter the password, find the app, open the app, scroll through who knows what, take off my glasses so I can see the keyboard, type whatever it is into the app, then hope I hit the proper button to make the words stick in the app. I could brew a cup of tea in the time it’d take me to enter appointments into something digital. 🙄

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  28. I used to have a team-teaching partner with whom I made lots and lots of plans. We often strayed from them after only the first day of a new unit. “Let’s make a plan so we can throw it out,” because our motto. Still, we both agreed that the making of the plan was an important part of our process, and that the process of making the plan had more value than the plan itself.

    I have noticed that those who seem to live by “good enough is good enough” are generally happier than those of us who cannot.

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    1. Rita, I like your team-teaching motto. Ain’t it the truth? I’m a good planner, really I am. But I got over my perfectionistic tendencies years ago, so now I plan to be good enough– and if things end up being better, as in best, who am I to not enjoy!

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  29. I believe in kindness. We should all be kind to each other. Planning is useful in many ways. But I don’t think I believe in planning to be my best self. That would be a kind of perfection, And who can be perfect?

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    1. Nicki, we’re on the same page. I believe in the power of kindness and I don’t think it makes sense to plan to be best. Aim high, but allow for the possibility that good enough will be good enough.

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I grew up amidst a big family that argued a lot. My mother, a gentle soul, brought home a plaque that said, “Kindness is spoken here.” She hung it over the dinner table. It didn’t stop the loudness but it was a reminder that we had to be kind. I strive for my best self but mostly settle on good enough. You have to be kind to yourself first.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. MELewis, your comment has me smiling. I like your mother’s subtle way of enforcing kindness. I do the same thing as you do. I aim for best but am perfectly happy with good enough. I wish more people understood your last sentence. ‘Tis the truth of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Happy Kindness Day Ally Bean! Mmmmm, maybe I’ll make my husband a cup of tea later on – or best idea, take him out for lunch! Then suggest, kindly, he make supper – On these good enough gestures, we get by. The weather is kind today, bright, sunny, warm. Yep, got some plans we have to make., always aware the best laid plans can go awry. Have a lovely weekend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Susan, Happy Kindness Day to you! Rather fun to write that. I like your plans for the day which sounds like it’s going to be a beautiful spring day. And I like your awareness that plans can go awry. Also, extra points for using the word “awry.” A much neglected word, imho.

      Liked by 1 person

  32. “Kindness is my default” has been my Personal Mantra/Motto for years now. It has been sorely tried this year, but it remains.

    I planned the first 50 years of my life. It was a Survival Skill. And it paid off, but I paid, too. It’s taken me a while to unwind, and I like this life better, the one where I only plan dinner, doctor appointments, and the occasional social engagement. The rest of the time, I just live my life as it comes, and I’m enjoying it far more.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Nance, I like your default. Your motto, while challenged by 2020, is a good one.

      I understand what you’re saying. When I was younger I was a perfectionist who lived and breathed plans. Everything under control. Then I got older, my life changed, and now like you I basically go with the flow. I keep track of what I have to do, so I’m punctual, but after that… 🤷‍♀️

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  33. I try to always be kind, but that doesn’t stop me having unkind thoughts about much stuff. In the latter circumstances, I try to channel the “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” vibe … except when it’s just Himself & me and we can let rip in private. Gotta get stuff off your chest or it festers y’know 😉

    I do love a planner, of that there is no doubt. But after this year, I’m not so sure I’ll be investing in one quite yet!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Deb, there’s a big difference between thinking unkind thoughts and saying/acting on unkind thoughts. I take your point, but it’s one that seems to have gotten lost in all the political hubris of 2020.

      I like planners, too. I’m not against them but having seen how life can turn on a dime this year, I’m not spending my dimes on anything fancy for 2021.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wouldn’t it be great if being kind was more than a social media hashtag? It a hashtag which seems to trend from time-to-time, but there’s been no noticeable difference in how people behave in the long term – either in real life or online. I curate both my online & real life interactions with care, as I suspect you do.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes it would be great to see kindness as the given instead of the exception. I try to not be offensive online, but without visual clues it’s easy to be misunderstood. I mean no harm, but if someone is going to dislike you they’ll find a way to do so. And I’ve not always said [typed] what I meant as well as I could. Add to that how spellcheck can work against you… and I sometimes wonder how I’m perceived.

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  34. My work life requires keeping track of many projects at once and keeping my calendar up-to-date always. I do that pretty well, and I do it because it’s necessary to succeed. My home life? Well, I plan well enough. I keep my calendar updated and I have a list of things to do when I have time, but I don’t want to schedule every detail and every moment or I would surely go mad. The best day to me is one with nothing scheduled!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. KDKH, you’re right that work life and personal life call for different approaches. I don’t plan every detail of my personal life nor do I want to record every moment of it on some planner. I totally agree that the best days are the ones with nothing on the schedule. The other ones I plan with an eye to being good enough. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right? That way when the day turns out to be magically perfect, it is a beautiful surprise! If we expect every day to be perfect, we could easily live a life of disappointment and recriminations. No thank you. You have a good philosophy of looking for good enough.

        Liked by 2 people

  35. Thought a bit about it – I am kind when people are in distress and look for solutions. I am not when people think they’re the greatest in the world and insensitive to what others might go through. Have no words for the sociopath who has no remorse about ruining the life of others!
    Planning?? Once in the grey past, my plans worked out, but lately I go day by day, lol. Great subject, Ally!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Junie, I like how you’ve broken this down, analyzing why you’re kind to certain people. There’s something to what you say and I think all of us make that distinction, either consciously or unconsciously. I’m all about boundaries and there are limits to my patience which I think means I’m sane… but it’s 2020 so who knows?

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  36. I had more grandiose hopes and plans than happened in real life, but a girl can dream that one day those ideas do come to fruition. I have to agree with John Lennon’s famous comment: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” There is a lot of truth in that quote.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Linda, that’s a good quote. I believe it’s true all the time, maybe more so this year, of course. I had plans for this year, too. Some were travel plans, but none of them have happened nor will happen. When the pandemic first arrived we thought we might still be able to go somewhere for Christmas but the numbers are surging so we’ll stay home. Thank you very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, that is one of my favorite quotes by John Lennon – it speaks volumes. I hear the epidemiologists and other medical experts say that we will go a full year before full normalcy returns, even after the general public gets the vaccine next April. I think everyone will be wary in 2022 and beyond, but that’s just my opinion.

        Liked by 2 people

  37. The only planner I use is that purse-size calendar the Hallmark stores give out for free every November. Really, my life isn’t that complicated any more. Sometimes I wonder if there’s any point in trying to be kind anymore, when so many people in the world aren’t …it’s depressing to think about kindness being an old-fashioned virtue.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Joni, a friend of mine uses that Hallmark freebie, too. I use a small leather Franklin planner that Z-D bought for me years ago. It has one month on two pages that face each other. It’s about as basic as you can get, which I like.

      I know what you mean about kindness. I’m seeing people weaponize someone’s kindness, using it to mock or marginalize a person who they don’t agree with. They’re like rude children on the playground, taunting the good kids who try to learn in class.

      Liked by 1 person

  38. *raises both hands* Team GOOD ENOUGH right here.

    I used to assume that all people were kind, but if 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that not everyone is KIND towards others. My mother was a great example of always being kind towards others (sadly, she was hard on herself though) and my Dad wasn’t always so great at it. Me? I think I’m pretty damn kind to everyone.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Suz, I’m glad to find you on Team Good Enough. We love having you.

      It’s interesting how your mother was one way while your father was another way. I believe you when you say you’re kind. That’s how you come across in your blog.

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  39. To be kind is to be polite and use manners, but to show loving kindness to all folk is to have empathy and always think of the next person. My yoga teacher inspires me to live my life with a daily intention of filling the world with loving kindness.
    To do this each and every day is to live a really good life. Of course, a good life is subjective, so contentment is close to my definition .
    I don’t always succeed in showing loving kindness to all others and myself, but the intention to do this gets stronger each day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amanda, I like your intention and can understand why you choose to focus on it each day. You’re right in that politeness and good manners are at the heart of kindness. Toss in some empathy and you’re good to go. I don’t know how World Kindness Day measures its success but if nothing else for one day it shines the light on what it means to be kind. And that’s a start.

      Liked by 1 person

  40. A belated Happy Kindness Day to you! I strive to be kind, especially when it isn’t easy and most often when it’s random (like simply holding a door open for someone). And I’m not a planner, not at all. I make plans only to change them, so I guess I’m a pantser kind of planner 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Marie, I like how you explain the way in which you are kind. I do the same sort of thing, but now that we’re not going anywhere I guess I’m holding the door open in a virtual way. I like the idea of pantser planning. It dovetails with my idea of being a slacker planner. As long as things get done, it’s all good.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I had to laugh at your comment, “as long as things get done, it’s all good.” My husband recently changed out the lights over his work bench in the garage. He’d been meaning to do it for 12 years. Well, at least it got done eventually 😉

        Liked by 2 people

  41. I think kindness is a great core value. It costs nothing and yet can have more impact than someone’s weight in gold. My inner perfectionist would love a plan, but the realist in me knows that life is fluid. And there can be many glorious moments even in chaos (I’d still like to move on from this year though. 😉 )

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Amy, I find it odd when I meet someone who turns out to not be kind. Their words might say otherwise, but actions show you who someone really is. I am good at planning, but like you I understand that life changes on a dime and there can be many glorious moments even in chaos . So well said

      Liked by 1 person

  42. I’ve been trying to find a planner like the one I purchased for 2019-2020. I want 2021-2022, not 2020-2021. I’m really quite done with 2020, thank you, kindly manufacturers. I think it is unkind of them to continue carrying 2020-2021 planners as if to say, “Sorry you didn’t get to shop, but, these are a deal now?!” Oh, dear, I think I’m being unkind. Is that too unkind of me to rant about?! LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelley, you’re not being unkind, you’re being truthful which is a way of being kind because lying, the opposite of truthful, is unkind. Therefore when you explain your calendar planner preferences you’re stating your truth… which I agree with wholeheartedly. I ordered my Franklin planner datebook pages online so I got just 2021, none of this 2020 last gasp nonsense. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Well said – thank you for encouraging open and honest conversations! You rock at that!!
        LOL – yes, the less of 2020 we have the better. According to Google, we only have 42 days left to go. Not that I’m counting, or maybe I am, okay, I am?!?

        Like

  43. You are right on the Kindness thing, Ally. It is, or at least should be at part of who we are. Versus making a conscious effort to be kind.

    OMGosh, I have been a serious Franklin Planner User for over 30 years. Even the A,B,C, concepts and the arrows in certain directions. A great deal of my planning is in the B and C category. Not necessarily something that has to be accomplished. I don’t know whether you have used their stuff/system? It works for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Erica/Erika, I’ve used a little Franklin Planner for as long as you have! Zen-Den got me a leather one years ago and I’ve stuck with the binder, more than the system. At this point once a year I order the month on two pages update and that’s it. Nothing daily or based on values or using arrows. But as much as I like the planner I don’t plan for my best life, I plan for my good enough life– then go live my best life. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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