Highlights From August: I’m Not A Flower. I’m Not A Fork. I’m Not A Foe.

/ Ally Bean

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The Flower Part

Late one afternoon while sitting outside on the deck, I was viciously attacked dive-bombed by a hummingbird who mistook me for a flower. Why, you may be wondering, did this little piece of flightiness think I was a flower?

Here’s the scene: I was wearing a pale pink baseball cap [similar here] + a medium pink fleece top [here] + raspberry-colored moccasin slippers [on sale now here] whilst drinking a pink grapefruit Italian soda [from here] that I’d poured into a clear plastic tumbler [here] with a bright red travel lid [here].

My basically pinkish-reddish ensemble + beverage were not intended to attract hummingbirds, but I nailed it.  And that little birdie with the fluttering wings couldn’t take his sparkly little eyes off me.

I was startled, but flattered.

The Fork Part 

Zen-Den and I finished watching Elementary, a TV series about Sherlock Holmes re-envisioned for modern times starring Jonny Lee Miller as Sherlock and Lucy Liu as Dr. Watson. I enjoyed it and thought the final episode was a good way to end it. Apparently not all fans liked the ending, so I just wrote something potentially controversial here.

Anyhoo, like many TV shows or movies, we sometimes focus on one line that we find absurdly funny and start saying it to each other— like a goofy inside joke. And this show gave us a good one.

In a scene where Sherlock and Marcus, a NYC police detective assigned to work with Sherlock, are kicking back after a difficult day, Sherlock who is often quite full of himself tells Marcus that he knows why Marcus is so taken with him.

It’s a scene of arrogance gone wild.

Sherlock starts babbling on about how his astounding intellect magnetizes people who are then drawn to him. It’s a burden Sherlock must live with.

Marcus, who has the patience of Job when dealing with Sherlock’s ego, replies: “You’re not a magnet. And I sure as hell am not a fork.” 

Thus I, too, want to establish the fact that I’m not a fork. You can’t magnetize me. Don’t even try.

The Foe Part

A friend, who seemed sincere when she said this, told me that she wanted to change something about her behavior so that she’d have more free time.

I was surprised BUT I am one to help others when they decide they want to change. To be clear I don’t believe I need to fix people, yet will help you fix yourself when you’re ready to do so. Think of me as your personal cheerleader.

A few weeks later I see this friend and compliment her on how she has changed herself, how she has followed through on doing that which she told me she wanted to do in order to have less stress in her busy life.

Welp, she lays into me for mentioning she was doing things differently now: things she told me she didn’t want to do anymore.

This was her idea, remember?

She got on her high horse and lectured me about how her well established M.O. was what she was known for and no way would she ever change it for fear of not being known for it.

This was slightly unhinged thinking— and a complete 180º from what she’d confided in me a few weeks earlier.

Obviously at this point I had a decision to make: do I remind her of what she told me about how she wanted to change? Or do I let the conversation drop knowing the more I say, the more she’ll think of me as her foe.

Thus I let the conversation drop, realizing that being a cheerleader for some people is a sure way of irritating them.

Go figure, huh?

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SO I’M BACK 

WHAT’S NEW WITH YOU?

TELL ALL IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

I NEED TO KNOW!

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179 thoughts on “Highlights From August: I’m Not A Flower. I’m Not A Fork. I’m Not A Foe.”

  1. I loved Elementary except I had to wrestle with Johnny Miller’s accent. It’s my hearing or maybe the way they record it. Yes, I have a friend who went 180 on my husband and me. We witnessed something between her and her husband. She took an action and we complimented her on it. We were then told off and told it never happened. Fortunately there were two of us as we kept wondering if we imagined the entire scene. She is now a very distant friend, more of an acquaintance with a new gentleman caller. I have learned (in my old age) that letting it pass is easiest on me because really I don’t care.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kate, you’re right that JLM’s accent was sometimes difficult to understand, especially when he talked fast.

      Trippy experience with your friend. It didn’t happen, she said! Sounds familiar. Like you I took the easy way out. How friend lives her busy life is up to her. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are a lot of “nots” floating around. Do you have a catchy word to define yourself after your summer break… how about ” I am …” and fill in that blank 🙂
    I am in CO now. I am dealing with crap (detailed in recent posts). I am enjoying learning about my new home.
    Friendships are often tricky things to manage. I am almost 66 and still haven’t figured it all out. I just know that when I find myself growing uncomfortable with things, especially in newer friendships, I do not necessarily feel I need to stick around, trying to “make things work”. Moving on is okay.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deb, ha! NOT being some things is a good thing, ‘ya know! Why? Because I am a free spirit. I shall define myself in ways that make sense to me. 😉

      I’ve been wondering how you were doing. I’ll get over to your blog and catch up soon.

      Same thoughts about friendships. I’ll not cut myself off from this friend but maybe downgrade her to acquaintance.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You actually do know how to magnetise, at least for hummingbirds. 😉 And yes, that friend is actually a foe who needs counselling in the worst way. Or a neon flashing sign above her head warning people that she’s sailed over the edge.

    We had a busy July but August was quiet while we baked. It’s really hot here – in the 30s – (100s F). That’s pretty normal for the beginning of August but not the end and it’s continued merrily into September. It needs to cool off now! Lovely to see you back. Cheers.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lynette, you’re right. I did magnetize that little hummer, but did so by accident.

      I’m smiling about the neon sign flashing over friend’s head. She seems sane on the surface, but maybe it’s a disguise.

      It was unbelievably hot the first few weeks of August here, but now it’s cooler and tolerable. I hope you get some cooler temps soon before you wilt completely.

      Fun to be back to blogging, much to tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Nice to see you drop into the blog world! Enjoyed reading you, as always.

    It’s raining and I’m heading to my backyard cabin with boots and an umbrella. It’s the shortest commute to ‘work’ I’ve ever had. ☔

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice to see you back, and how wonderful you got to spend some of that time in the company of hummingbirds. Makes me want to go change my clothes and sit in the garden.
    The foe part of your post definitely reminded me of the phrase ‘No good deed goes unpunished.’ Now you know how to respond to this oblivious person, with a great big silent smile.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dorothy, the hummingbird surprised me with his intensity. But then I looked down and realized why he was so into me.

      Good point about the punishment for a good deed. I truly do not care what this woman does and like you said will henceforth know better than to take her at her word.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Eeep! I have no idea what behavior your friend was trying to change, but letting it drop was the right way to go. Maybe her next goal can be to just work on her responses and get them closer to something like “Thank you but once I tried it I figured out that it was not for me. Hey Ally, you’re a great friend, let’s talk about you now!”

    Liked by 2 people

    • Birchie, I would have understood if this friend had said something like you suggested: she tried, it didn’t work out, she’s gone back to her usual, no big deal. People be weird, you know? BUT she wasn’t gracious like that and I felt foolish for supporting her effort. Oh well…

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      • Not to excuse her boorish behavior, but I bet SHE felt foolish for not following through on her stated plans and embarrassed that you recalled those forgotten plans. 😀

        Oh, yes, and welcome back!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Nothing’s new with me. I’m the epitome of boring. ugh unlike your friend who seems to be the epitome of unhinged thought. (I would have reminded her of her own words jus too see how far down she’d spiral, but then, I can be ornery when provoked

    Liked by 2 people

  9. You were very attractive to that dive-bombing hummingbird. I actually clicked on each link and can vouch that it would be most lovely to the little one’s eye… 😉

    I never did watch that Elementary. It was on my radar then fell off. I shall put it on my to eventually watch list. I love when a phrase like that gets picked up and becomes an inside joke. You two are good at that!

    As for the foe part – don’t you just hate when you are trying to be nice and it spits back in your face? Smart of you to just let it fall and ignore. It reminds me of the period of time where my sister was complaining about her husband, who, at the time, was let’s just say not the most helpful of husbands. Of course, we two sisters took her part and agree with her that he was a bum… And then she got mad at us because she had decided to stop complaining and he actually did start helping. Ya just cannot win, sometimes!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dale, ha! Thanks for checking out my links of pinks. It was truly funny when I realized why this hummer loved me. 🥰

      We enjoyed Elementary more than we thought we would. The premise about why Sherlock is in NYC holds true and the characters are varied and interesting with unique plots.

      Your last sentence sums up the situation. I can see why you did what you did supporting your sister’s pov, but then with her change of heart I also see how you became the *villain* in the story.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Ugh, Ally! I have some friends who tell me so earnestly that they want to do ____ so that their lives will be less stressful/complicated/busy/etc. And they never do! It becomes difficult for me to remain empathetic to their woes when they have shown me that they know the remedy for them (even as I know how hard it is to change habits and behaviors, even those we want to). I am now feeling thankful that none have ever turned on me like your “friend” (foe?) did.

    On a brighter note, I may now have to adopt “I am not a fork” into my lexicon, and your hummingbird story is as delightful as seeing you again in my inbox was. Hope you had a good summer.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rita, you understand exactly what was going on with my friend, now maybe an acquaintance. I listened to her reasoning for the changes and what she was going to do, then was sniped at when I praised her. It was loony… like maybe she is. 😉

      I can’t tell you how many times one of us says “I am not a fork” as a way of explaining ourselves. It’s one of those silly phrases that mean nothing & everything at the same time.

      Happy to be back to blogging, feeling refreshed and mellow so we’ll see where this goes.

      Like

  14. I have done a lot of ‘letting the conversation drop’ these days. Especially with my sister who I don’t want thinking I’m a foe, but whom, as far as I can tell is woefully misinformed. But then again….

    ANYWAY.

    The hummers are still around here. I have now put up TWO hummingbird feeders because I’m hoping the bees let the birds drink out of one of them. I don’t think it’s working. The hummer buzzes my head if I’m not fast enough to fill the feeder in the morning. They also fly up and down outside the window to let us know the sugar water is getting low. I remind THEM, that I planted huge beds of zinneas out front and maybe they should go check those out.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dawn, I take your point about a woefully misinformed relative. It happens to all of us it would seem.

      I stopped putting out hummingbird feeders because the bees wouldn’t leave them alone. It was creepy to see how the bees swarmed the feeders. I do, however, plant zinnias and choose red annual flowers for the little birdies. I think they approve.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. People are weird. I keep saying that to myself so I won’t be surprised. I’m weird too although I would never go off on someone over a comment like that. You’re a hummingbird magnet! John and I are watching “Elementary too but are only in Season 2, or perhaps the beginning of 3. I will look forward to the ending since it sounds thought-provoking enough to stir controversy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Margaret, it’s difficult to not be surprised by people anymore. I know we’re living through uncertain weird times, so I make allowances… but a little normalcy is appreciated. Being pleasant, not self-absorbed, helps.

      We enjoyed Elementary, watched one episode a night. I didn’t see what was coming with the ending, but can go with it. How’s that for a teaser!

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  17. People can be so . . . challenging. Even dive-bombing hummers who have mistaken our species are easier to deal with. And far more charming!

    We enjoyed Elementary, years ago, and I don’t remember now how it ended. I also loved the BBC series Sherlock with Benedict Cumberbatch and the guy who played a Hobbit in one or more of Tolkien’s tales.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nancy, well said. I’m not dwelling on this friend’s insincere behavior but I am thinking that it’s getting more difficult to communicate with people in general. I’m saying less and less— and I don’t say much to begin with.

      I know of the BBC’s Sherlock and might watch it eventually. Right now I’m Holmes-ed out, ready for something less deep dark mystery.

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  18. If the last 25 years in the US have taught me anything, it’s that at least 25% of our country has a terrible memory and likes to rewrite history. I guess that goes for their personal history, too. I don’t know if I would have been able to disengage as diplomatically as you did with your gaslighting friend. There’s a funny interaction where the husband says, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be understood?” The wife responds with, “I want you to understand that I’m right” and that is very, very me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Autumn, ha! You’re onto something with the rewriting history idea. It seems like this friend might have been doing her own version of it. The reality is she said what she said, I supported her, then I got slammed for doing so. Not a good situation, but a lesson learned, maybe? Not everyone is as sincere as I hope they might be. Or more simply, people can suck.

      Love the “I want you to understand that I’m right” concept. Now that’s something I can relate to.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Hi Ally! I’m glad you’re back, and I hope allergy season is behind you! I checked out all your links, and I have to say that the hummingbird was absolutely right to think you were a flower! The slippers in raspberry are SO cute!
    I remember watching a few episodes of Elementary back in the day. Now that we have streaming, it would be fun to watch them all.
    I don’t know your friend’s situation, but it sounds like she wanted to make a change, couldn’t do it, and took out her frustration on you.
    Ouch!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Michelle, allergy season is behind me, I’m not sneezy and wheezy now so I’m great. Thanks for remembering.

      I wasn’t intentionally masquerading as a flower but the cute little bird was confused. The slippers are cute and comfy. I recommend them mostly for the comfort but the color doesn’t hurt.

      You’ve analyzed the situation with the friend and you’re right. For some reason she was unhappy about her decision to change herself and my polite comment was salt in a wound. Weird, but there you go. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  21. First, I love that a hummingbird mistook you for a flower — that is just lovely. Second, Life is Good was my dad’s favorite t-shirt and hat company. I absolutely love the pink ice cream cone hat. You are delightful, my friend.

    I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’re back! 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Hey Miz. Bean… good to see you back in my inbox! That was such a strange interaction with your friend. Unlike you, I don’t think I could have kept my mouth shut and moved on to another subject. Not to be annoying (although I’m sure it would be taken that way) but just because I’d be fascinated with the turn of events. I’d be like a dog with a bone trying to figure it out.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Janis, I take your point. I was tempted to say “what the heck, this was your idea” but I didn’t. She may not be the person I thought she was and the reality is I don’t care enough to find out more about her. Don’t know if it is maturity or exhaustion, but I’ve learned to detach from people who lack self-awareness.

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  23. Well, you may not be a fork, but you were indeed a magnet to that little hummingbird. I feel cheated that you didn’t post a selfie of that ensemble. I, like Janis, would have been too curious to walk away without clarity. Did she forget? Did she block it out? Or, is she just a wackadoo? Nice to have you back.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Suzanne, I’ve never had a hummingbird become so enamored of me, so it was exciting and silly at the same time. I understand what you’re saying about clarifying the situation with this friend, but I didn’t care enough to know more about her thinking. Life is too short to get sucked into someone else’s melodrama. I just can’t do it anymore.

      Like

  24. I’ve missed you. That friend sounds like too much work…We have glass flower in a pot in our back yard. I smile every morning when I see a hummingbird trying to drink from them. They glow in the morning light, so the hummingbirds find the glass flowers very attractive.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. I love Sherlock Holmes movies but I guess that’s one I missed. I know people like your friend – I believe they’re called passive aggressive – they like to provoke debates but then act like the injured party. August was kind of been and gone although I’m sure I did do something!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jan, Elementary is a TV series so you may have missed it if you look for movies. We liked it. The NYC twist on the classic is intriguing.

      Yep, she was the injured party. How dare I hold her accountable to the goals she established! Bad me, eh?

      I occasionally have months wherein nothing happens. I appreciate them more now that I’m getting older. You understand.

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  26. Ah, so that’s the way to attract hummingbirds. I’m heading out now for some Italian soda and red slippers. 😂
    And as for your foe, best to let people arrive at their own speed.
    Me? I’m grateful it’s September, ready for some quiet reading and writing days, and a few little projects to tend to, if I get off this device. 😂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Alegria, that hummingbird’s interest in me was intense. I couldn’t figure why until I looked at myself, then I got it.

      I’m with you about letting people do their own thing at their own pace. I’m also all about not getting snippy with your personal cheerleader, but maybe that’s just me. 🤔

      I like September for the reasons you mentioned. I enjoy the quiet, as in no AC, after the noise of the summer. Projects are good, I like putzing around doing things. Happy writing!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Welcome back!

    I love when hummingbirds get close to me, but not too close. Their beaks can be deadly. Still, I’ll have to check out those links you shared. My most favorite top is swirls of pink, orange, green, and white, kind of like our garden 😉

    I do believe you are magnetic, Ally. I feel drawn to you. Inasmuch as I can know anyone through their blog, you have a consistency, perspective, and wit that, to me, is magnetic.

    Which leads me to the friend who treated you like a foe. Perhaps she doesn’t know you as well as you thought she did, or as she thought she did. Offhand, I can’t think of a similar experience that I’ve gone through. I don’t like confrontations (often they aren’t worth the energy they consume, in my humble opinion) so, if something like that happened to me, I’d shrug and drop the subject … save it for when I got home and could vent to my husband 😉 But I’d be wary of any further confidences coming from that friend who, by now, would be relegated to an acquaintance.

    I hope your August wasn’t too allergy-ridden. Good to see you back 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marie, your favorite top sounds exactly like a garden. How lovely. I had to laugh at why the little birdie was going after me. I didn’t set out to be a hummingbird attraction, I was only going for comfort. And apparently I buy a lot of pink items.

      You flatter me with your praise. Thank you. I do try to be consistent and have something worthwhile to say— within the context of a personal blog. Flapdoodle & twaddle, you know?

      I’m not confrontational either, but if needs be I will stick up for myself. HOWEVER this conversation didn’t seem worth turning into a big deal. As my mother used to say, “I have broad shoulders. Things roll off of me.” Also, like you, I can always vent to my husband. And yep, I am wary of this woman now.

      You’re sweet to remember my allergy problems with August. Am doing great now, the pollens that get to me are gone. I am free to roam around this part of the world without sneezing and wheezing.

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Normally I want to defend August (it’s a great summer month! my birthday!), but this August sucked, so I’m glad it’s behind us.
    What’s new, though, is that it’s downright cold here (it was in the 40s when I woke up this morning) and I am very unhappy with these circumstances. We should still have WEEKS of warm weather. Where has it gone?

    Liked by 2 people

    • NGS, I spent most of August sneezing, but that’s normal for me. Happy Belated Birthday! Your morning temps are low, very low, decidedly cold. I understand your irritation, yet whatcha gonna do about it short of moving south? Stay warm!

      Like

  30. OK, Ally, you’re going to think I am really nuts……. After reading about the magnet/forks, I thought, “Wait. Are forks attracted to magnets? I have a magnetic board, so I tested a fork from my drawer–nope, no attraction. Then I doubled checked online with the mighty Google, who said. “Most modern forks are made from stainless steel alloys, particularly austenitic stainless steels (like 304 or 316), which contain chromium and nickel. These alloys are largely non-magnetic or have very weak magnetic properties.”
    So, as much as I like watching Elementary, I take exception to the quote, because forks are not magnetic!
    My summer’s been good, thanks for asking. As you can see, I’ve just been deep-diving down ridiculous rabbit holes in my search for all the knowledge.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Gwen, you did a lot of research on a topic I know nothing about. Thanks for finding out about how forks are made and whether they are, in general, attracted to magnets. Considering most forks are not attracted to magnets, it does put that quote from Elementary in a new light. YET I can still truthfully sat that I am not a forkl— just in a different way than that which was implied in the TV show. 😉

      Glad your summer was good. Information is fun, dammit.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Welcome back, I hope you’re feeling rested and ready for fun.

    I love hummingbirds, they are so tiny and mighty, but I’m convinced they are assholes. We have a feeder outside our kitchen window, and when one of us tries to use the grill, they dive bomb us. Also, they are assholes to each other and do not like to share the sugar water I put out for them. I once found a dead one perched on the feeder and could not figure out how that happened. I know this is wrong, but I pictured another hummingbird using its nose as a foil and just stabbing it through its tiny heart. Yeah, I guess I think they are into fencing.

    Liked by 2 people

    • J, I’ve never thought of hummingbirds as assholes, yet now that you mention it I take your point. I see them around our zinnias, pushing each other out of the way, like they’re playing their own version of king of the hill. Your theory of how they use their beaks as swords is apt. I rather like the fencing imagery considering my encounter with one. He was aggressive. En garde!

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  32. Geez, I hope your friend’s goal wasn’t trying to argue less. Sheesh! I guess even cheerleaders sometimes get hit with a game ball! Between that, the hummingbird, and the magnet joke, I’d say the common thing is the weird stuff you can attract! 🙂 Nice to see you again, Ally!

    Liked by 2 people

  33. I love the flower part. Hummingbirds are such amazing creatures.
    There’ve been so many takeoffs from Sherlock Holmes, some excellent ones and some not. Occasionally it’s fun to see what other people think about something you’ve just watched. I find that many people are more critical than I am. I just finished watching a season of Slow Horses recommended by Debs. I liked it. My sister tried it and found it too dark.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nicki, I was pleasantly surprised by the hummer’s interest in me, shrieking then laughing as he attacked me.

      I agree it can be fascinating to read what other people think of a show. I take all reviews from someone I don’t know with a grain of salt. You’re right that there have been many Sherlocks along the way, each with his own twist on the classic.

      I’ve heard of Slow Horses, but haven’t seen or read about it. There are so many possible shows to watch if you have the right streaming service to see them.

      Like

  34. I love that the Hummingbird was so attracted to you. Maybe it was all your worn colors, or perhaps it was your INSIDE colors? Anyway, it’s a compliment.

    I’ve not watched Elementary, but I do love that line!

    Um, your friend seems a little off to me. Is she ok? 😜

    Liked by 2 people

    • Suz, I hadn’t thought about the idea that my inner self was a rosy pink that the hummingbird picked up on. Like it saw my aura!

      Not all TV shows give us a new inside joke line, but this one stuck. Like a fork, I guess. 😁

      Friend is scattered, but not in a good way. She talks about doing less, but can’t let go of anything. I do think she might benefit from talking with a therapist. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  36. The hummingbird story made me laugh. Sparkly little eyes off me – so funny, and I really loved how you nailed your flower look a like outfit. Well done you.

    The friend thing is weird. People are strange, aren’t they? I had a close friend when the kids were babies. Our kids were the same age. Our husbands enjoyed each other’s company. It was great, but she was (is) nuts and Coach saw it too. It was hard to miss. Dang it, I wanted that friendship to work in the worst way. Our families could have such a great time together. Our kids reconnected once they all got to the same high school, and let’s just say the kids take on their mom (as witnessed by my kids) was very validating.

    Adoption in set for Monday. I’m back to daycare, but a staggered reentry, because one infant doesn’t start till end of Sept. Twins are due soon and they won’t start till Feb. So a light load for fall, but dang it anyway – not enough hours in the day. And I only have 3 kids living at home. What even? My back pain hasn’t been sorted yet, so I’m taking a lot longer to workout (running is faster than walking, darn it – and I can’t run). Still, not sure why I just can’t get ahead. Reg is at college and loving it. The little girls keep us on our toes and Curly is debating colleges, and where she might play basketball – but mostly she’s just overwhelmed. – in other words, nothing has changed? 😉

    Glad you’re back. (I hate it when I read while feeding a baby a bottle in the morning – that baby screamed for about 4 hours straight today BTW – and I don’t get to comment till late. Grrr).

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ernie, the hummingbird incident was funny and totally unexpected. Like good things in life can be.

      It sounds like you and Coach were lucky, in the long run, to part ways with the wackadoodle friend. Especially once her teenage kids confirmed how delulu she was.

      I’m glad your fall is starting off in a staggered way. I can instantly see how that’ll make it easier for you. Only 3 kids living at home, you say? Yet I’m betting there’ll be lots of shenanigans. I feel for Curly trying to pick a college. That’s not as straightforward as one might hope. Yet she’ll figure it out. They always do.

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  37. Hmm, not sure what was up with your friend, but you handled her outburst very maturely.

    What have I been up to? An arthritic knee keeps getting in the way of my exercising. Not only is exercise great for my mental health, it’s the one way I control my weight. On the positive front, our son and daughter-in-law are closing on their first house on Sept. 9th, an exciting time for them.

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    • Pete, I was mature about friend’s rant, wasn’t I? Hadn’t thought of that. Yes, that was me being an adult!

      Knees are dodgy joints. I understand how one could slow you down, force a more sedentary lifestyle on you. I’m sorry about yours.

      A first house! Oh they’re going to have a great time and learn many adult lessons that come with home ownership. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Good to have you back. I stopped by a week ago, intending to leave a comment on an earlier post and realized that post was closed. ie/ no more comments. So yea, good to have you back! Not had a humming bird do that, but did have a red wing black bird do so, with entirely different motives. and that “acquaintance who blew a gasket, wow, I’m wondering if she’s not in some type of hormonal period of life…that was a little off. You took the high road. Good for you. I’d like to think I would have as well, but that’s not a given. What’s new…well,life is full, in the middle of apple harvest/ swarm capturing, new home building and making time for naps. Life is good. Fall is my favorite time of year.

    Liked by 2 people

    • DM, yes I close comments after 21 days. I used to not do that but I was inundated with spam so I limit the comment time frame now— and *magically* the spam went away.

      Black birds are more threatening than hummers. If one came at me I’d freak. I don’t know why this friend is talking one thing while doing another, but it’s not my job to fix people so just letting the topic slide worked for me. Weird, though.

      You sound like you’ve got your autumn under control, especially the scheduled naps aspect. I look forward to catching up on the progress on your home. Will enjoy your apples and honey from afar.

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  39. Eeks that friend situation does not sound fun. At all. It’s exhausting to walk around on eggshells with certain people, so I hope she was just having an off day and this isn’t a pattern!

    That’s hilarious about the hummingbird, though I would have been borderline terrified, I’m sure.

    What’s new? The kids went back to school yesterday. Yay! A quit one of my jobs. Also yay! It’s almost fall, which is my absolute favourite season. Yay! Cool Bloggers Walking Club starts up again in October. Extra yay!

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    • Elisabeth, you said it about walking on eggshells around her. I’ve downgraded her from friend to acquaintance because I don’t need or want her melodrama.

      I was slightly frightened at first with the hummingbird, but mostly by the noise he was making. They’re not quiet little dudes, I’ll say that for them.

      All your ‘YAYs’ sound wonderful. Fall is my favorite season, too. I bet with one fewer job and the kids around less you’ll rock your walking challenge.

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  40. Glad to have you back again. I’ve missed you.

    Nothing really new here besides trying to walk towards a more spiritual adventure and slowly getting my creative side back into writing. I’ve written multiple short stories while you’ve been away. I hope you’ll get to read them.

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  41. What’s new with me? Lots of boring health issues. I’m plugging on at getting them resolved, but they’re behaving like one of those fairground stalls – when I get one knocked down, another pops right up in its place. I’m clinging to gratitude that it’s not *just* old age! 😀

    Your frenemy sounds delightful. Totally lacking in self-awareness too. I vote you replace her with the hummingbird 🙂 Welcome back Ally – the blog world is a better place with you in it. I hope the summer & hay fever season wasn’t too hard on you this year.

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    • Deb, I’m sorry about your boring health issues. I understand that. As I age, hopefully gracefully, I refuse to dwell on health issues that insist on popping up in my life. Good luck keeping yours in perspective.

      Yes, friend is lacking in self-awareness just at a point in my life when I am leaning into my own self-awareness. I’m getting mellower, like a pink zinnia, as I go along which might be why the little hummingbird was drawn to me. 😁

      You flatter me with your compliment. I’m feeling no ill effects from the August pollen and am ready to tackle fall. Ever onward, eh?

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  42. I’m glad you are back! Hummingbirds are delightful, though they don’t seem to be the brightest birds as far as brains. I love that you and your husband watch shows together and find good lines to use in everyday life. We have a few classics from years past, such as from Cheers . . .”People, people, work with me, work with me!”

    My summer wasn’t great while you were gone. My mom passed away unexpectedly five weeks ago and I’m now trying to fulfill my duties as the successor trustee to her estate. In two words, ‘banks suck.’ Onward and upward to Fall!

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    • Bijoux, you’re right that hummingbirds aren’t the brightest birds out there. This little guy was obsessed with me even as I shooed him away.

      Love the line from Cheers. That show was filled with great lines, especially Norm’s comebacks.

      I’m sorry to read about your mother’s passing. My condolences. Also my condolences about dealing with banks in your current capacity as her successor trustee. Been there, done that— it was a convoluted tangle of forms and people right when I was feeling the lowest I’d ever felt. Sending good thoughts your way.

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  43. Oh, Elementary! Thanks for that reminder. Rick and I watched the first one on network, but for some reason, didn’t get back to it. Now we’ll add it to our streaming lineup.

    Love that you are communing with the avian denizens of your yard!

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    • nance, we enjoyed the shows. The plots were intriguing and the characters were varied, often really weird. Plus seeing inside some NYC apartments was cool.

      Yes, I am now a friend of hummingbirds able to disguise myself as a flower. Ha!

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    • Nicole, my encounter with the hummingbird was funny, weird in a glorious way. Also it reminded me that somehow I have a lot of pink clothes. Didn’t quite realize that.

      Yes friend did a 180º turn and won’t get a chance to do that again. Lesson learned.

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  45. Welcome back bloggy friend! I loved that show, too.
    Our hummingbirds (those who hadn’t already migrated) had a rude awakening yesterday when we left town and the nectar ran out. I expect they’ll be long gone when we get home, as the weather is finally turning cooler.
    Every day is a new learning experience for me, which is just how I like it! Getting older (and hopefully wiser and more flexible in my thinking) does tend to increase one’s happiness.

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    • Eilene, Elementary hooked us. One episode a night was the right pace for us so it took a while to watch it all. Enjoyed it.

      I imagine you’re right about your hummers missing you, but they’ll do fine even if you don’t see them again until next year.

      Learning is good. Older and wiser is good. Becoming more flexible seems to be the key to it all— if you want to invite happiness into your life. Agreed.

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  46. How flattering that the hummingbird thought you were a flower, Ally! My hummingbird went to my right ear and hummed for a few seconds, then flew in front of my left eye. I froze and wished my eyes were a camera! I don’t think I wore pink or red that day.

    What happened to us? We took a two-day getaway to the Oregon Coast for our anniversary. Before school started, we had the grandkids for two and a half weeks during the day, then had them for a sleepover before Labor Day.

    Happy weekend to you!

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    • Miriam, your hummingbird sounds like a delightful goof. Mine was flitting every which way, checking out all my pink & red things.

      Your month sounds like fun. I’ve never been to Oregon, but I hear it’s pretty. Bet you had fun with the grandkids. That kind of energy can be a tonic for what ails you!

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  47. The Foe Part interests me. I can draw parallels with some of my neighbors. It’s not so much about change as it is multiple personalities. In one instance they couldn’t be nicer. In another – especially when there’s a particular agenda – they couldn’t be nastier. I prefer to come across as the same “Dave” no matter the circumstance. Not sayin’ that’s easy to do, but I wouldn’t want to be perceived as one personality on one day and another on another. Here’s hoping your friend (is she still a friend?) comes back around a while from now, wondering what she was ever thinking in deciding to maintain the same routine.

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  48. Welcome back Ally. The hummingbird part of this post fascinates me. Because it was so hot this Summer, I did not put out the two hummingbird feeders, because even with the drops to keep the nectar clean, the heat was just about bubbling that nectar. But I digress because even when I had two feeders out, I got one hummingbird who sipped sparingly and was on her merry way … you attracted a hummingbird just because you wore appealing colors to a hummingbird. 🙂 As to the friend story – I’m shaking my head over that one and will say “that’s what friends are foe” (“foe” used intentionally here). People never cease to amaze me. Not much is new with me, but I am enjoying this cool spell after a long, hot, humid Summer which sadly tanked my walking regimen.

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    • Linda, I’ve tried putting out hummingbird feeders but the bees swarmed them and the little birdies stayed away. At least you got one bird, but I take your point. My suggestion? Dress in pink head to toe, sit outside, and wait for your visitor. Then don’t scream when it shows up. 😜

      Yep, the wacko friend was one for the books. I don’t know what her deal is, but I’ve downgraded her to acquaintance because I don’t need or want her drama in my life.

      Our summer was humid and icky, too. I understand why you weren’t walking. It was lousy outside. Hoping fall will be nicer weather.

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      • Now that I know your secret, that’s what I’ll do next Summer Ally – anything for a photo op and blog fodder, right? 🙂

        I’d seen a few friends dwindle to acquaintance status too, mostly due to quirks (not that I am not quirky, but not, IMHO, quirky-annoying).

        We had the same icky weather – it was on par with the rest of the year’s weather, etc. I am enjoying the cooler temps and hope to salvage the steps/miles lost, but I likely will not make my goal this year.

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  49. Welcome back Ally! You have good taste in pink attire. Elementary sounds interesting – I will check it out. Nothing new here – a quiet and peaceful summer with nothing interesting to post about.

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  50. Oh Ally I’m so excited you live somewhere you get to see hummingbirds…it’s on my bucket list to see one in real life one day, I’m sorry they mistook you for a flower, though if I ever do get near one I’m going to copy your wardrobe to entice them nearer.
    Nothing much is happening here other than sadness that the summer is over (it always goes too quick!)

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    • Rae Cod, humming birds are pretty and can be fun to watch drinking nectar from a flower or feeder. But to have one close to you is a noisy thing. I was surprised.

      It seems almost incomprehensible to me that it’s September already. I adore fall so I’m happy about it, but I will miss pretty summer flowers once the frost hits.

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  51. That’s such a hard situation with your friend. I think you were right to just let it drop. Sometimes that’s just the path of least resistance and easier to deal with!

    Glad you’re back!

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    • Stephany, thanks for the vote of confidence. It was an odd conversation considering what she’d told me previously, but it didn’t seem worth my while to get too riled up about it. Don’t know what her deal is, but so be it.

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  52. Welcome back my friend. That is crazy about the hummingbirds because they are usually so hard to even see – let alone have them be attracted to you (like magnet and steel, um I mean fork!)
    Also, I think you did the right thing with “do I let the conversation drop knowing the more I say, the more she’ll think of me as her foe” and letting things drop for now.
    I have not always responded the best in the past, but I do know that timing matters – especially if we are reminding someone of something and all that. And there is a time to have the hard talk and confront – or at least “remind” or “point things out” – and when those times happen – the energy and effort can often lead to long-term perks of clearing things up, etc. However, there are other times when the best option is to let things drop” and just process a bit more. A reminder that humans can be so complex at times – well…. some can be

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    • Yvette, you’re right it was a little crazy to be the source of a hummer’s affection. My husband was watching it go down and laughing out loud. He thought it was hilarious. Didn’t seem to think this suitor was his rival.

      Well said about timing in conversations with people. Maybe some other time I’ll broach the subject with this woman, but in that moment I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It has less to do with avoiding conflict, more to do with accepting that people can be messy/complex and you have to let them be that way for your own peace of mind. Not everything need be a struggle.

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  54. I’m glad you weren’t injured in The Hummingbird Incident. (Your attire sounds very fetching, by the way.) I’m sure it was very embarrassed for itself. That’s the hummingbird equivalent of a human calling someone by the wrong name in a social setting.

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    • The Travel Architect, what a delightful way to envision what happened from a hummingbird’s perspective! You’re clever and probably right. Once the little guy started to fly away from me he glanced back at me with a horrified look on his face. Definitely embarrassment.

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  56. I am laughing at your ability to attract hummingbirds. I have this vision in my head now of your red and pink couture and it’s awesome. Did you watch the CBS drama “Watson” last winter? It is good!

    August was a very busy month for me with Mile of Music, my church’s arts camp, nursing a sore back, massages, chiro visits, friend stuff and gardening. Today, finally, I was able to sit and create a blog post for Monday and that might be it again for awhile because September will be busy too. Oh, the life of a retiree! 😉

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    • Mary, yes I’m sure I looked spectacular in my hummingbird-attracting ensemble. 🙄Didn’t see Watson but will look for it when next I’m in the mood for Sherlock stories.

      Your August sound very busy and mostly fun. Hope the sore back is doing better now. I’ll look for your Monday post. You make retirement seem like a whirlwind of excitement— in a good way, of course.

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  59. Yikes! Tempus sure is fidgeting, and I’ve fallen behind in everything from housework to blog commenting. I’ll blame my terminal lethargy on the heat, which finally has broken. It made it below 70 degrees last night — hooray!

    Your hummingbird story reminded me of a guy I knew who rigged up a special broad-brimmed hat with a few small hummingbird feeders hanging from the brim. He’d sit on his back porch, wearing the hat, and enjoy the birds that came to visit only a few nose lengths away. He said the best part was feeling the breeze from their wings as they hovered.

    As for that friend you mentioned, I’d say the key word in the story is ‘unhinged.’ Personally, I think I might drop the modifier ‘slightly.’

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    • Linda, I understand. I am not a person who thrives in the heat, so I lay low, too. At least it is beginning to get cooler now.

      While it was interesting to be the source of a hummingbird’s affections ONCE, I wouldn’t want those little guys flying around me often. The hat sounds ingenious but birds that close to my eyes would be unnerving.

      I was trying to be generous while describing this friend [now acquaintance] so I added ‘slightly’ even if there may not be any ‘slightly’ to it. 🤔

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  61. Oh, so good to see you’re back, Ally Bean! I started to have more time to read and comment last week so I hopped over here and saw you were taking the month off — hope you had a wonderful break!

    LOL about the hummingbird incident! Flattering but also a bit concerning! LOL

    OMG — that woman who wanted to change and then changed and then said she didn’t change when you were complimenting her?? Definitely, completely unhinged!! I probably would’ve done the first — I remind her of what she told me about how she wanted to change. Then left her alone after that. Ha!

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    • M, my break was good. I’m no longer sneezing all day long so allergy time is over for me.

      The hummingbird really, really liked me which was odd. Those little buggers are noisy when they’re close to you. I had no idea.

      The friend who snapped at me for complimenting her on doing what she said she wanted to do was, shall we say, confused. I dunno what her deal was/is, but will steer clear of her in the future.

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  63. I love that line about not being a fork! One that I will pop off with sometimes is from a movie I absolutely loved, “American Hustle”, where the character played by Jennifer Lawrence says “Thank God for Me!” after she starts a fire in that “f’ing science oven” from putting a dish in it covered with aluminum foil. Hilarious!

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  64. A hummingbird approached you? Ma’am! That is some top tier energy there, they are skittery little things and if one decided you were worth approaching then you are a good human. But we already knew that.

    It is September so I’m sliding into fall (though a hot one because North Carolina doesn’t see “fall” weather until at least October). I’m adjusting to my youngest being back at college after the mixed joy of cohabitating with a young adult who’d gotten used to coming and going at will with her friends. We survived but not without some uncomfortable conversations. 😭 My oldest has decided he’s had enough of formal school after getting his associate’s degree so now I’m trying to grasp that he has a full time job and considers himself grown-grown. We’ve entered the delicate dance of “reach out if I can help you learn how to adult your way through that” and helping him navigate the mix-ups. THESE ARE GOOD TIMES INDEED.🤣

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    • Laura, you flatter me. I hadn’t thought about my approachability from a hummingbird’s point of view, but I like your take on it. Thanks.

      Your summer sounds like it was an interesting one. I can imagine how odd it’d be to have a daughter living *free* and how it’d be a trial for you to watch/experience. Uncomfortable conversations happen, maybe for the best?

      Good news about your son and his full time job. I know that his way of adulting may be different than yours but he’s out there doing his thing which seems marvelous. Difficult for you perhaps, but overall wonderful!

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