No Whippy Frosting For Me, Please & Thank You

Welcome to Fun With Foibles, an ongoing series wherein I helpfully point out what is wrong with other people & things, while remaining quiet about my own failings. Today’s topic is…

Whippy Frosting

In case, somehow, you are unfamiliar with Whippy Frosting, it is a vile, faux-vanilla flavored concoction of Crisco, Cool Whip and Peeps, blended together, making what bakeries try to pass off as frosting for cakes.

Whippy frosting is an abomination against man and God.

In fact, while often omitted in modern translations of the Bible, everyone knows that on the eighth day God created cake.  And He said: Let there be butter cream frosting on all cakes. Henceforth and forevermore. Amen.   

[That would be “Fiat Yum” in the original translations.]

Yet some people, mostly heathens I’m assuming, continue to buy cakes with whippy frosting from the bakery– thereby encouraging the bakery to ignore God’s perfect creation, butter cream frosting, and to continue to make said sub-standard frosting.

And try to pass it off as edible.  WHICH. IT. IS. NOT.

So I urge you, gentle readers, as a favor to me, who asks so little of you, to not buy cakes with this stuff on it.  Maybe then, it’ll go away.

I can only hope.

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Looking for the crumb of truth in the cookie of life.

29 thoughts on “No Whippy Frosting For Me, Please & Thank You”

  1. It looks disgusting! I’ve never seen it over here, but what starts in the US generally migrates to the UK eventually. I will be forewarned and avoid it when it does arrive. Thanks!

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    1. Polly, I know that some people like it, but I think it’s the most awful stuff ever made. I’d rather have a dusting of powdered sugar than this concoction. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say. *bleech*

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  2. I’m pretty sure you’ve mistranslated the bible. God said let there be cream cheese frosting on all cakes, cookies, and other baked goods. Amen. Also not sure that whippy frosting only has crisco, cool whip and peeps. I think it also contains plastic. But perhaps that is covered by the peeps.

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    1. Zazzy, you make a good point. Perhaps there are two translations of the phrase “Fiat Yum”. You know how it goes when scholars start nosing around in the Bible. I COULD HAPPILY LIVE WITH EITHER TRANSLATION.

      Hadn’t thought about there being plastic in Whippy Frosting, but you may be onto something. It wouldn’t surprise me. Nasty stuff.

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  3. “Whippy frosting is an abomination against man and God” – how do you really feel? Stop being so wishy-washy. Seriously (if we can use that word for this topic), I cannot agree more.

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    1. Z-D, so you think I was a bit too vague here, huh? I’ll try to be more serious about my feelings in the future… when I discuss vitally important topics like this one.

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    1. Alice, Whippy Frosting is one of my least favorite foods. Sadly it seems to be popular around here, and I’m seeing it more often than I should. Which is to say, I’m seeing it.

      Did not know about Crisco’s alternative use and will never look at it the same way again.

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      1. No. No you won’t.

        And I will never not wonder just how Peeps became a baking ingredient??! Like powdered sugar or lemon zest — but without, yknow, the BEING FOOD part.

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  4. I hate fakey-tasting, greasy frosting. I also dislike (STRONGLY) that heavily coloured decorator icing that winds up leaving a bitterness in my mouth. A lovely buttercream is heavenly. Now, some whipped frostings are nice, like a marshmallow-based variety. But those are a rarity unless one goes to a really good bakery.

    To avoid all of this heartache, I tend to stick with pie, which rarely lets me down. My advice: if one must have cake, avoid The Cupcake, which is usually a repository for substandard frosting. (But I must confess to a Terrible Anti-Cupcake Bias overall.)

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    1. nance, I’d forgotten about that decorator frosting. It’s vile, too.

      I agree that there are some delicious marshmallow-y frosting. I remember them from my youth, in the summer. But Whippy Frosting is nothing like those long forgotten cakes.

      I think that you’re onto something with the avoid cupcakes idea. That is where Whippy Frosting tends to land. Or on those cardboard-flavored sheet cakes. Another yuck in my book.

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    1. Andra, I like some frosting, in small amounts. But this stuff I’m talking about here is lousy– and I won’t eat it at all. It’s just not right, I tells ‘ya!

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  5. Buttercream and cream cheese are the way to go. Even whipped cream toppings are delicious. The key word in all of these is CREAM. Dairy. Not oil, crisco or any other greasy (or plastic-tasting) substance. In my humble opinion.

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    1. Margaret, you’re right. I hadn’t thought of it before. It’s the cream that makes all the good frosting good. And Whippy Frosting has never seen an ounce of cream. Ever.

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  6. So funny. This weekend I was at a graduation and served a piece of cake. It was a stupid corner with icing on 2 sides in addition to the top. I scraped it all off and ate naked cake which wasn’t all that great either. It isn’t like the old days when my Mom would bake a fabulous cake and put on a nice thin layer of butter cream. I also dislike sprinkles, jimmies and all that other stuff they put on top of cakes. I’m a purist. Just get me good cake.

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    1. Kate, you’re talking about the kind of frosting that is so sweet I hate even looking at it. I, too, often excavate the cake out from under the frosting because I can’t stand the frosting. I like good frosting, but it’s becoming more difficult to find. Unless you make it yourself– heaven forbid!

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  7. It’s fluffy – and like eating nothing….maybe it should be served in a bowl?
    Good cream cheese icing is the only real icing…like my aunt who taught home ec used to make. We kids despaired when she announced she was no longer making desserts – only salads and healthy foods to lose weight. The only one who really could and did cook! Sobs still remembered.

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    1. philmouse, it’s like eating nothing, that’s for sure! While I didn’t think of cream cheese frosting when I wrote this post [because I didn’t grow up with it], I agree that it is as good as, if not in some cases better than, butter cream frosting.

      I’m sorry that your aunt got healthy. Such a shame… 😉

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  8. I’m going to have to disagree with your detective work here. Whipped cream frosting can indeed be light and fluffy and delicious, and is very well suited to a light white cake with fresh strawberries between layers. Crisco plays no part in it. Unless you’re talking about some real thing with Crisco, but your link went to a page that seemed like good whipped cream frosting to me. Also, I like cream cheese frosting on carrot cake or chocolate cake. I like a good buttercream, but there are so many bad ones…like the decorator frosting you and Nance discussed. Blech.

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    1. J, you’re right the link I put up there goes to the wrong thing! So much for my dedication to accuracy. Thanks for finding it. Your link is MUCH BETTER… in the sense of being a recipe for that which I hate.

      I’m encouraged to know that you’ve never heard of Whippy Frosting. This tells me that there must be parts of the US that haven’t experienced &/or taken to the stuff. Maybe it’s a midwest/east coast thing?

      All I can humbly suggest is avoid it. *bleech*

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    2. That recipe is close to one my family makes that is utterly delicious. First you have to make a white sauce with flour and milk(kind of a pain), then separately cream butter, white sugar and vanilla(no shortening!); after that, you whip the two parts of the frosting together. It is amazing frosting! I’m not sure what’s in the whippy frosting that most of us are talking about, but I think it’s probably mostly sugar, shortening and vanilla.

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      1. Margaret, I’ve never heard of frosting made that way, but if you say it’s good, I’m all for it. The Whippy Frosting around here, lacks anything like cream or milk; instead, it is all chemicals and oil and air, I believe.

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        1. Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s the same type of commercial grade frosting we get around here; it feels like putting flavored whipped shortening/sugar in your mouth. Not many bakers would go to the effort to make that whippy frosting recipe above(or the modified one my family makes with just butter) because it’s very time intensive.

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          1. I think that you’re right. In some ways this is a good thing for me because I just eat the cake and scrape the frosting aside. Think of the calories I save!

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