A Conversation: Blue Is My Color, But I’m Not Blue

/ Ally Bean

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Oh dear, I got myself into a confusing conversation about, of all things, my mental health.

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Which is fine.  I’m a bit cynical + anxious, but considering Cadet Bone Spurs is our so-called president, who isn’t?

Anyhoo, I was at the doc’s office having my quarterly micropeel with an aesthetician I’ve seen once before.  She had with her a new-to-this-practice aesthetician-in-training.  Both women, in their 40s, had worked in medical practices for decades.

I was wearing a cornflower blue cardigan sweater because: 1) I’ve worn shades of blue since I can remember;  & 2) as a graying blonde this particular shade of blue is flattering on me, if I do say so myself.

I walked into the procedure room and the aesthetician-in-training mentioned that I look good in blue.  To which I said: “Thank you, blue is the color of my life.”

Because it is.  If I’m not wearing blue, I’m probably wearing teal.  Another color of my life.

But not part of this story.

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Now as I’m standing there in the procedure room, there’s a pause while both women look at me, troubled, concerned– ready to help.

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They start saying, alternately: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”  “I know this time of year can be difficult when you’re dealing with depression.”  “How are you doing today?”  “You can talk to us… we understand.”

They had tears in their eyes.

Yet there I was, about as emotionally balanced as I ever am, suddenly aware of what they thought I’d said, trying to explain to them that I meant BLUE the color– not blue, a reference to depression.

But do you have any idea how difficult it is to dissuade someone that you aren’t depressed when they’ve misinterpreted what you said, thinking that you’ve felt comfortable enough with them to share your pain?

Anything I said sounded like I was in denial, trying to back-pedal about a mental health problem.  While in fact I was trying to explain to them that as a rosacea-challenged fading summer blonde, blue is a pretty color for me to wear.

Blue with green undertones. Blue with purple undertones.

Just plain blue.

Light blue. Medium blue. Dark blue.

BLUE. ME. WEAR. OFTEN.

It took some doing on my part but I think that I convinced them in a polite way that my mental health was fine, and that while I appreciated their concern, I was being literal about the color blue.

That really, I’ve not been sad or depressed my whole life.

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But honestly… talk about a weirdly awkward situation to be in.  One that only I could get myself into, I suspect.

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81 thoughts on “A Conversation: Blue Is My Color, But I’m Not Blue”

  1. Oh, my. What a predicament. But, how lovely that they were both so kind and sympathetic souls, ready to lend a soft heart and willing ear. Treasures, both of them.

    As for Blue, I have never been a fan, although it’s a perfectly nice, serene, colour. I do like to wear navy (and have a helluva time finding navy things!), but don’t have blue in my home. It’s not complimentary to my own colouring; maybe that’s the reason. I’m more of a Red Girl.

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    • nance, you said it: “they were both so kind and sympathetic souls.” When I realized what I’d said and how they’d taken it, I wanted to hug them for their concern, but needed to set the record straight. I was almost paralyzed about what to do/say.

      As for your color preferences, I like red, too. As long as it has a blue undertone to it! 😉

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    • Carrie, that’s exactly what I thought, too. I understand how they misinterpreted what I said, and no doubt many people pour their hurts out to them during procedures. I just wasn’t one of those people.

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    • evilsquirrel13, excellent points. I’ve always admired Kermit’s honest approach to life & I can relate to Cookie Monster’s angst. It wasn’t until this conversation that I began to think about how “blue” and “blue” are used in the English language. Tricky meanings there.

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  6. I couldn’t help but laugh while reading your post! It’s pretty amusing that they both thought that you were a depressed person, instead of a person that just wears a lot of blue. I remember you wearing a lot of LLBean polo shirts in various shades of blue, which looked so good with your eye color. At least they are empathetic people and willing to listen to someone that may need a sympathetic ear! Keep up being blue Ally!

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    • Beth, I wish you’d been there with me. When it dawned on me what they thought that I’d said, I was almost shouting: “NO! Not that kind of blue. No, no, no…” You’re so right about them being sympathetic people, to a fault, I guess. Nice women, but *oh my* what a conversation.

      Yes I used to wear lots of polo shirts, not so much because they came in blue, but more because the price was right! Now I still lean toward blue clothes because– well, blue goes with my eyes & blue reduces the appearance of rosacea. So, yay!

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  8. Great post. But you’re right. It’s so easy to make a casual remark and have people interpret it about a thousand different ways, and then you can’t get out of it. This is sort of the story of my life…..

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    • Tara, that never occurred to me. You’re right, maybe I should have asked them if they were depressed. It all happened quickly, and they were so kind-hearted that I never thought about them being sad. 🤔

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  10. Does it speak to the mood of the country that they immediately assumed you were talking mood rather than color? There’s a lot of sadness in that assumption, I think – maybe indicating they’re seeing a lot of sadness in a lot of people. But, that being said – I too love blue, although I try to branch out and wear several different colors. I am also a fading blonde with blue eyes, although I think not as blue as they once were. Ah, the joys of the “golden” years.

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    • Carol, reflecting back on the conversation I wondered the same thing as I was driving home. They didn’t know me yet assumed I was talking about sadness. Quite a conclusion to jump to.

      My eyes aren’t as blue anymore either, but with the right shade of blue they kind of still pop. Or at least I like to think so!

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  11. That was amusing to me. People can jump to the wrong conclusion so quickly! I end up wearing quite a bit of blue, yet blue has never been my favorite color. I’m rosacea-challenged, too. Just recently I read an explanation of rosacea in the sheet that came with a medication. It was so simple in a very detailed medical treatise. They said rosacea is a form of adult acne. I feel younger already, just being linked to teens that way!

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    • Anne, you said it: people jump to conclusions. I thought I was saying something so benign, yet there I was talking mental health.

      I didn’t know that about rosacea being a form on acne. I’m with you, now that I know this I’m feeling younger… like a teenager. Almost.

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  12. I wear a lot of blue and pink (with blue undertones) and purple (with blue undertones). You never see me in yellow or orange. I suppose they were being kind but it seems kind of presumptuous. I’d like to hear more about the micropeel. Has this helped? And what is it?

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    • Kate, I don’t wear yellow or orange either. I do well in blues and greens, some purple, and occasionally pink. Obviously blue the color is what I was talking about in this conversation. 🙄

      I’ve had micropeels for over 10 years now. They were recommended by the doc as a way of reducing acne, but they also reduce wrinkles in the process. They help with the rosacea in that the peels encourage skin renewal which reduces redness somehow.

      I have glycolic peels, but there are other ones depending on your age + skin type. I get them at the docs office, but I think [maybe] you can get them a day spas.

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        • I’ve not done those. I only know about the micropeels because a friend told me about them. The doc practice I go to is a plastic surgeon’s practice, but maybe dermatologists do these peels, too. I’ve never investigated other options because I like this doc’s practice + the results.

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              • You are right. I have had a laser treatment and found that solved my hyperpigmentation problem without as much discomfort. I also had some level of breakouts that settled down. “They” say I don’t have rosacea but I break out on my cheeks. Thought I left all this stuff in my teens! I’m too old for this!

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  13. You have the most interesting experiences in the doctor’s office. Didn’t I read something about a tussle with someone in the waiting room once? I like blue but it is not really a color I wear often. I like pinks and oranges, sometimes red. Glad to hear you are not depressed 🙂

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    • Janet, the story you remember is when a conservatively-dressed woman, another patient in the waiting room, took offense with me being dressed in capris and Birks. She went out of her way to snub me, for reasons I’ll never know. And yes, I’m not depressed, but I do favor blue.

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  14. Interesting. Both the main point of your post, but also the micropeel information. I also suffer from rosacea, which began for me after a far too harsh chemical peel by someone who should not have been doing that kind of work. It was supposed to be an invigorating facial, it turned out horrible…my face was tight and red and looked burned (which I suppose it was). The rosacea showed up after that. I take doxycycline (sp?) for it, but am interested to hear this information about micropeels. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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    • Embeecee, what a lousy thing to happen to you! I know how powerful some of those peels can be. And having your face burned is not pleasant.

      I have a script for doxycycline, too. I rarely take it because I’m not keen on antibiotic overuse. These micropeels make my face red for about one day after, but do seem to reduce the redness overall. Like I said above I started them for acne, but now I continue with them for… vanity.

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    • Jill, yes. I’m not exaggerating. They both looked so sad, with tears welling up in the corners of their eyes. And there I was like a deer in the headlights, trying to explain my way out of what I’d said.

      You’re the second person to suggest that maybe they had the problem with depression. I hadn’t thought of that. All I know is the conversation was awkward– but they came around and my peel went fine.

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    • Susan, yes, these women truly looked like they were going to cry. If I knew them better they’d have known I was being literal, but they didn’t. And then there I was trying to explain myself. It was funny, but it was also sad– all at once. Only me…

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  18. Blue is a weird color that way(no other one means an emotion, am I right?) and it’s my favorite too. I only look good in certain versions of it though: royal, navy, indigo. I’m in all black right now; does that mean anything about my state of mind? 🙂

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    • Margaret, I don’t know of any other color name that doubles as an emotion, so blue is special. I think that blue can look wonderful on people with “cool” skintones, but wonky other people. I like gray because black is too intense for my coloring now that I’m a more “mature” woman. That being said you in black and me in gray doesn’t mean one blessed thing about our states of mind. It’s just colors we look good in.

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  21. Not quite the same, but it reminds me of the time I sat down at a work holiday luncheon and announced how “ravishing” I was. Of course, I mean ravenous but you can still imagine the eyebrows which were raised in response. Backpedaling wasn’t an option for me, so I just decided I was going to be the most handsome and starving man I could be. I’m sure you looked equally ravishing in blue. – Marty

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    • Marty, great story that easy to believe. I’m sure you wowed them with you good looks and healthy appetite. Forget about communicating clearly, eh? Just keep on keeping on, preferably while wearing blue.

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  22. I love blue too! And, if you looked in my closet (please ignore the mess on the floor) you’d see that I wear it often. I’m a pretty upbeat person so there is absolutely no connection to my mood either. Your story reminds me of a story my friend (who does suffer from mild depression) told me. She was telling her therapist about an uncomfortable situation she recently encountered. Unfortunately, my friend said, “I just wanted to shoot myself.” If you know my friend, you’d know she was kidding, but she had to do a lot of back peddling until her shrink was placated.

    Oh, and just today, I came across this interesting article about the color blue, if you are interested: https://mymodernmet.com/shades-of-blue-color-history/

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    • Janis, blondes and the color blue go hand-in-hand, don’t they? Neither of the aestheticians were blonde so maybe they didn’t make the connection.

      Oh my, your poor friend. I cannot imagine how difficult it’d be to convince your therapist that you were just joking… using a common saying… didn’t really mean it. I had a tricky enough time just talking my way out of being blue.

      Will check out the link tomorrow. I love learning about colors, so the article sounds great. Thanks.

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  25. Marian, I’ve found that anything tomato-based can cause my skin to flair, but not always. I’ve not tried removing dairy from my diet, but now that you mention it I’ll give that a go. Good idea.

    I think that you’re onto something with your idea that these aestheticians are like hairdressers on the front lines of mental health problems. I hadn’t thought of that yet it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? All I know is these women were almost falling over each other to be there for me, which was kindness personified… but unnecessary.

    Thanks for taking the time to stop and comment. I appreciate it. Nice to meet you.

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  27. First, I’m so glad they were kind and sympathetic, just in case, hm? That’s nice. Perhaps more than nice, because too rare.
    Second, blue is easily 90% of my wardrobe. As a fair-skinned, blue-eyed, rosacea-afflicted person, I agree, pale blue is VERY flattering, I’m sure even moreso on blondes.
    Third, blue is also the main color in my house. Its peacefully happy, which also looks good on me.
    I hope your procedure went well, and I’m very glad you’re not blue inside! 🙂

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    • joey, I agree about how rare it is to encounter someone who is genuinely kind. And these women were, to a fault… even.

      I’d never thought about how often I wear blue until this conversation. I know that I can think back to when I was a little girl and remember wearing blue. Usually pale blue.

      We have some blue in our house, too. We used to have more of it, but as I’ve been redecorating around here I’ve gone more into khaki and gray– which often looks good with splashes of blue. Very peaceful and you don’t see the dirt. Win-win.

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  29. This made me laugh (not at you!). Since I worked in mental health, it’s sad to say that also among mental health professionals are ditzy’s. Meaning, they adapt the people to the theories they were trained in, instead of the other way around. Also, they forgot about looking for more than one “symptom” (the blue clothes)!
    From your comments last week on my blog, you are much too vivacious, to even come close to “depressed.”

    My favorite color is French ultramarine, which comes very close to the cornflower blue. To me it means mystery (the mystery of the night, etc.)

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    • jesh, the conversation caught me off-guard. I was just chit-chatting in response to a pleasant comment– and suddenly I was being viewed with concern.

      I imagine you’re right that these women were trained/told to look for signs of depression among their patients, and with me they thought they’d found someone. I had to laugh about the whole thing, later. But I didn’t dare laugh in front of the aestheticians because I didn’t want to insult them.

      Am off to see what French ultramarine looks like. That’s a new color I’ve not heard of before– or maybe I’ve heard of it by a different name. Sounds pretty.

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  31. ooooh – awkward indeed, and yes, a little presumptuous.

    While I love the colour blue, it is not one I wear well, which is unfortunate … although perhaps not as unfortunate as wearing green and having people ask me all day if I’m feeling ok 😉

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    • Joanne, it was an odd conversation to be sure. One I don’t want to repeat. I imagine that a certain point in life every woman becomes aware of which colors flatter– and which colors are not her friends. I look miserable in many shades of green, but can rock blue.

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  32. Oh I have been laughing & nodding my way through your post and the comment conversation. Hilarious! Projection, or a hyper-sensitivity to depression seems likely. I trained in NLP so understand how language can betray inner feelings, but I’d question a diagnosis of depression, simply based on that one thing. And the tears in the eyes sounds a bit odd. I mean, if you were depressed, how would you feel about your depression depressing two other people? No, no, no … too much I say. People in the caring profession need to be caring without burdening those they are there to care for with their emotions.

    Sorry. Hobby horse. I’ll climb down now …

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    • deb, this was one of the most peculiar conversations I’ve had in a long time. I didn’t mean anything mentally unhealthy when I said what I said about blue. However, the convo went in a direction that seemed peculiar and endearing all at once.

      I don’t know these women well enough to even begin to explain why they had tears in their eyes, but they did. I’ll see either one of them again for my micropeel so they didn’t turn me off with their behavior. Just kind of caught me unaware, I guess.

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