In Which I Listen Attentively Then Say “I Believe You” Because I Do

A pretty rose seen in a city park. Is it orangish yellow OR yellowish orange? You decide. I’ll believe you.

Who am I to stop a friend or acquaintance when they’re on a good rant?  

I MEAN, I may or may not agree with them but there are times when letting people vent is the best conversational gambit I know of.

And let me assure you that people in my life are getting quite rant-y.  Blame it on the hot weather or the current deluge of Trumpian noise or the alignment of the planets, but the peoples have things they want to say.

• 🔶 •

FOR EXAMPLE, one woman, a Boomer, spent a good 5 minutes monologuing about how all Millennials are lazy and useless and entitled and __________ [fill-in the blank]. I think she stopped because she’d run out of breath, not complaints.

Considering she has a child who is a Millennial I thought her rant was a bit odd, but maybe it was her passive-aggressive way of dealing with her frustration about her progeny’s choices.  

Beats me.

All I could think to say was “I believe you” because I do believe that from her point of view what she said is truthful to her.

I’m perceptive and empathetic, don’t you know?

• 🔶 •

SOON THEREAFTER, one man, a Millennial, started into his monologue about how much debt he and his friends have and how Boomers never had any debt and that his suffering is the worst darned financial suffering that ever has been. Without any doubt.

Considering he lived at home rent-free [with a Boomer parent] while he was in college I thought his rant was a bit odd, but maybe it was his passive-aggressive way of dealing with his frustration about his job now that he wants to leave the nest.  

Beats me.

Again all I could think to say was “I believe you” because I do believe that based on his life experiences what he said is truthful to him.

I’m tuned-in to the people around me, don’t you know?

• 🔶 •

SO WITH the foregoing experiences fresh in my mind, and with the summer temps predicted to be in the 90s with humidity to match, I’ll end this post by suggesting that if you have a rant you’d like to express, I’m here to hear it.

I suspect I’ll be inside most of the weekend and from what I can tell my ability to listen is what the world needs right now.

Lay it on me. What’s been grinding your gears lately? What’s your sorry not sorry? I’m listening.

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Humorous. Adaptable. Pleasantly crazy. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted by choice. Wordy.

118 thoughts on “In Which I Listen Attentively Then Say “I Believe You” Because I Do”

  1. Nothing is really grinding my gears per se, but the thing I’m tired of people griping about? Privacy. They post their entire lives on FB and Instagram. They buy Alexa and have her listening in on every conversation. They do everything online, on their phone or on an app. They bank and make payments digitally. They check in places with GPS. And then? THEN they complain about privacy issues.
    Gripe over.
    😉

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Rivergirl, YES! I believe you and I agree with you 100%. I, too, hear individuals complain about how they have no privacy, yet ask them how they use social media and the internet… and what you said. If you want to remain private, less noticed by the world, then don’t put yourself out there in every way possible. It defies logic, doesn’t it?

      Liked by 4 people

    1. joey, so far this week you might be the only person who has not started a rant whilst speaking with me. Be that as it may I believe you when you say it is better for you to not rant. What a world, eh?

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  2. You are a brave woman, Ally to open the doors to endless rants🤗 You get the public service award!! I don’t have a rant; I have a rave! My husband retired this month at the age of 55, after 30 + years of working. We are living our dream out in the country where we purchased a home on acreage (he’s always wanted land). We feel blessed ( I’m also retired). We are now living the life we always dreamed of! All the years of working and raising a family have paid off. Life is good😊

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Sue, I am so happy to read a rave. My week has been filled with much ranting so to read something as wonderful as your comment makes me happy. 💕 Your new lifestyle sounds delightful & well-deserved. Thus I’ll say as promised in the title of this post: I believe you!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. People just want to be heard. Even if it changes absolutely nothing, they just want someone to listen and to acknowledge their feelings. You are providing a wonderful service, Ally Bean. I salute you.

    Deb

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Deb, yes, you’re right. People want to feel understood and accepted. I’m good at listening which is why my whole life people tell me things. It’s not that I don’t have opinions, it’s just that I’m less judge-y than many people. Or at least I think that’s why the peoples talk at me so often. Thus, rant away, my pretties. 😐

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I agree, Deb. I call it letting off steam and we all have to do it once in a while … and it’s usually some small thing that creates the tipping point.

      Having someone who will listen to your rant penalty-free is a blessing. I too salute you, Ally, especially if you somehow manage not to carry the burden of all those rants.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Joanne, I’m good at never absorbing someone’s rant unless, I suppose, I agree with it. But in the overall I just listen and ask a few questions… and the peoples feel better. Or at least I think they do. Anyhoo, Joanne, thanks for the kind comment, I believe you. 😊

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Lynn, I, personally, am not one to rant about things very often, but I know that many people like to do so. The examples above demonstrate that. 🙄 I’m more of a solutions girl, but I’m also a good listener so I’m offering this one time deal in which kindness and support are guaranteed.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a brave soul. I’m good for a whine or two (with wine it’s better) but too many rants in a day and I rant myself about how stupid people are. Loved Rivergirl’s rant because who doesn’t know people like that? I especially like to point out to people when they rant that it’s a first country rant because I’m not as nice as you are. You are now on my radar when I get cranky and need an outlet!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Kate, I am merely providing a public service here. Seemingly one of my best skills is listening to people talk about things that bug them while I remain open to their stories [as long as the narrative makes some sense]. I like learning about what makes people tick so maybe that’s why I just let the rant go on. I dunno. Or maybe I’m too polite for my own good. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I love your approach and your article makes me smile. Again. Me, I don’t think I rant (too interested in alternative views, I guess) but at times I sure do need to vent. Then I say, sorry, I just had to vent. Ranting is generalized. Venting is particular — a blocked drain, crazy neighbour etc.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you, Rachel. I like your explanation of the difference between ranting and venting. I tend to think of them as synonymous, but they aren’t necessarily. The things I learn along the way… 🤔

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with TWB above. People want to be heard and to know their story matters. Ergo, your response of “I believe you” is pretty much perfect. It provides validation that you listen and heard.

    Me? I’m okay. “This too shall pass” is my mantra for the weekend heat wave. That and “thank heavens for AC.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. nance, yes, I find that when I say “I believe you” the peoples seem to calm down about whatever they’re going on about. The examples above, that I have not found to be true in my life btw, are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what people say to me. The polite tip.

      I like your thinking about this weekend’s heat wave. I’m not sure how much more water I can drink, but I’m trying to stay cool and hydrated here. This is cabin fever, summer-style.

      Like

  6. Since I think most people’s perceptions are skewed enough that I rarely believe anything that anyone says (present company excluded, of course), I say things like:

    “I hear you.” (if I tend to agree)
    “Duly noted.” (if I remain unconvinced and don’t wish further elaboration)
    “No way!” (works on both sides of the fence)
    “Go on . . . ”
    “And then what . . . ”
    “You don’t say.”

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Sometimes I pepper an entire gripe session with each of the above . . . without ruffling a single feather. Because they are oblivious to the monologue nature of their conversation. 😛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. nancy, I like your non-committal phrases and will remember them. I agree that people tend to be oblivious to the fact that they’re ranting. I’m a good listener, curious, but I do sometimes wonder if the person who I’m hearing is hearing him or herself?

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      1. I listened to a 3-hour rant (over a 2-day period) earlier this week. The rant lasted longer than the events in question. But some of the flotsam and jetsam interested the anthropologist in me. You know, my inner Margaret Mead. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I do know about inner Margaret Meads. I’ve got one, too. Three hours is a long time for someone to go on ranting. You are a saint, pick any saint, for listening– and I presume learning a thing or two.

          Liked by 2 people

  8. I was going to say I have nothing to rant about, but I want to participate after all.
    Neighbors- apartment neighbors who fall mainly into the Gen Z range. Nice people, hard working, but who I unfortunately share a bedroom wall with and whose bedroom window is just feet away from mine and open all night like mine is.
    I can handle the video games most times. I attempt to handle the young son of said Gen Z male who visits often and kicks the wall repeatedly. Lately though, I get to enjoy the nightly (or twice nightly) sexual encounters of said male and his girlfriend.
    I want to say “YAY for you lusty young people” but this tired and hot and cranky older lady just wants to sleep.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Deb, first of all thank you for participating in this post. You are definitely one of the cool kids. That being said I’ll admit that I kind of knew where your rant was going once you mentioned your neighbors’ ages and bedroom. Hmmm… I believe you when it comes to your desire to sleep at night, but I, too, remember being younger so you know… life goes on. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Given I just spent 5 days in DC advocating for safer roads and sometimes talking to deaf ears, I have a lot to rant about. Starting with the DOT (Department of Transportation) who has done a study that was due in 2018 and supposedly is complete but had been “in review” for over a year now. Apparently they don’t like the results so it will be ‘studied’ until we stop asking for it. Just one rant of many.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dawn, oh your rant is a good one and deserves to be heard. Shouted from the rooftops even. I admire your determination to advocate for safer roads, something from which all of us can benefit. I’m not surprised that the DOT is dawdling about this study, but am disheartened to know this. That being said, I believe you times 100.

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    2. Dawn, the “deaf ears” and “continuing to. . . Study. . . Investigate seems to be modus operandi for our current government, which could begin my rant. But I shall refrain for now, because I will just get myself worked up. Thank you, Ally, for your offer. Perhaps another time I will take you up on it. To a greater extent, because I guess I did rant a bit there, didn’t I?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I seem to be the recipient of rants, and I’m so glad you wrote about this. It reminds me that my purpose is to listen, not to fix things. I’m going to double down on the soothing grunts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Anne, yes, it’s not for us listeners to fix things, it’s for us listeners to make someone feel understood and validated. My whole life people will just up & tell me things. I’ve learned to just nod and say “I believe you.” [Well unless there’s obvious mental illness, in which case I suggest finding a qualified therapist.]

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        1. I can’t take credit for learning to say that on my own. Years ago a woman [therapist? yoga instructor? spiritual counselor?] told me to say “I believe you” when I found myself listening to a person who was ranting. I’m grateful to her for sharing her wisdom with me.

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  11. You are a great friend, Ally. People pay a lot of money to have someone to listen to their rants and you are doing it out of the goodness of your heart. I don’t have anything specific to rant about today. Hubby is coming home after visiting his mom and brother for a few days and I expect I will be taking a page from your book and letting him rant a bit to me. Can I come back next week to take you up on your offer? I’m sure I’ll need it then 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Janet, you’re most welcome to return next week once you’ve got a few rants to share. I know what you mean about husbands who visit family, then return home filled with grumbles and rants. I look forward to hearing yours. You know I’ll believe you.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. No rants here… except maybe that it is colder than I’d like where we are currently traveling (yes, I know… tiny violins). You are smart to just listen to rants and give minimal responses. I tend to try and “fix” the problem with my incredibly insightful suggestions… which, of course, no one wants to hear.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Janis, I used to try to fix things, too. But I’ve come to realize that only people who are solution-oriented are interested in hearing my insightful suggestions. Most people seem to want to hang onto their problems a little while longer than I ever would. But you know what? I believe them!

      Liked by 3 people

  13. Ally Bean, you’ve been a great listener since I’ve known you (7th grade). You probably could write a book on all the things people have shared with you over the years. And I’m sure there are lots of secrets you’ve kept over time. Thank goodness for people like you. We all need someone to confide in once in awhile. Thanks for always being there!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Beth. We have known each other forever haven’t we? I enjoy hearing what other people are thinking about/obsessed with. Part of it is my curiosity about what makes people tick. Part of it is the realization that many people need a place to vent and I’m good at listening.

      That being said I’m finding it odd how few commenters are sharing a rant here today. Going by the first part of my week I expected to be inundated with people venting on all sorts of interesting topics. Instead, y’all are being nice-y nice. Go figure. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 2 people

  14. I’m tired of people just agreeing with my rants to try and shut me up and moving on. Do they even care what I’m angry about? Do they really think I’m just annoying when I’m trying to convey to them, as angry as possible, that something in the world is very, very messed up? I mean, I know everything and am worldly wise about it all. How dare they just blow me off like a giant bag of wind and say they “believe me!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. evil, my goodness you do have problem there. Fortunately I believe you and have faith that you’ll be able to carry on with your life, comforted in the knowledge that at least in one place someone took the time to listen to you– and let you vent. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  15. You are so kind ( and sensitive to their needs and the realistic awareness that you really don’t need to take on their issues…people now are so touchy and seem totally unfamiliar with “agree to disagree, but let’s be friends and talk about something else.” People used to do that).
    People see things in the light of their own experience. Wish people would go back to light conversations.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. philmouse, thank you. I live by the old saying: do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? I figure that when I’m listening to someone rant about something I’ll just opt for happy, therefore I say “I believe you.”

      I totally agree with you about how many people seem to no longer be able to think/feel beyond their own experiences. I blame that on the 24/7 news cycles in which one limited perspective is shouted over and over again. No critical thinking allowed.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. My rants would mostly have to do with politics, which seem totally out of my control at the moment. Also I would whine about daughters who make decisions I don’t agree with, but again, as adults, they have that right. I wonder what others would rant about me? : )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Margaret, I never thought of the reverse of this idea. 🤔 Now that you mention it I might like to know what other people would rant about me, but then I remember that old saying: your opinion of me is none of my business. Seems appropriate in this context.

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  17. Important work you are doing. Thanks for the offer – I could rant, but nothing seems to be demanding release at this very moment.

    Sometimes all anyone can do to help someone in a crummy situation is to bear witness. I see you, I hear you, and, yes, I believe that this is troubling to you. For clearly it is.

    Never hurts to have a good exit strategy planned, though, for times when rants turn into full blown lathers that threaten to go nuclear.

    Point/click/surf away works wonders online. If only we had a real time option that was just as practical.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Maggie, I’m glad to know that all is well enough in your world that you don’t feel the need to rant. I’m telling you the peoples around me are full of the rant juice. 🙄

      I think you’re correct in that it’s not that I agree or disagree with what people are ranting about, it’s that I paid attention to them. That’s what they like/need.

      You sure are right about how easy it is to dodge rants online, but in real life there you are… kind of stuck… in a moment you don’t want to be stuck in.

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    1. Dan, thank you. Nice to know that you have nothing about which to rant. You stay cool, too. We’re anticipating a doozy of a hot weekend here. Summer at its worst [best?].

      Liked by 1 person

  18. The world needs your empathy too! ❤ Lay it on me. What’s been grinding your gears lately? What’s your sorry not sorry? I’m listening. Okay you done asked for it.

    Crab not a rant (per se. Maybe nit-picky bitch is the proper term?)

    On the subject of road construction, which NOBODY admires. Why don't 'they' (the planners of road construction projects) schedule that road closure shite for night time? After, say 9 p.m.?? It's dark, the traffic is lighter, it's COOLER (and I bet money those masochists standing in the 115 degree sweltering sun holding signs and getting shtuff thrown at them from passing cars, abusive language heaped on their sunburnt heads, and people flipping them off while trying to spit on them, would appreciate both the cooler working environment AND the lighter traffic). I realize things aren't all about ME, but I'm not alone in my hatred and loathing of the orange traffic cone and some dipwad in a florescent vest telling ME what to do in my own car. The cops have that privilege, but nobody else. Power mad idiots. *grumble*. And don't get me started on those moronic lane closures where NOBODY is working, there are no holes nor gaps in the $#@!&!! road, and the other lane is so crowded that murder is a viable option to getting OUT of that freakin' mess. I've always been sorely tempted to cut between the cones (or barrels) and just go hell bent for leather until someone stops me, then maybe I could find out WHY they do that. I have this niggling suspicion that some sadistic, power hungry little, LITTLE man (apologies to little men who are mannerly and act compassionately) is the one behind organizing the no-work lane closures. I'd like the chance to kick this individual in his soft and dangly parts.

    *Crabby rant over***

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    1. Melanie, I believe you and dare I say you win the rant of the day? [Sure you call it a crab, but I think it’s a rant.]

      I’m not alone in my hatred and loathing of the orange traffic cone and some dipwad in a florescent vest telling ME what to do in my own car.

      You have described the situation perfectly. We all find ourselves stuck in this kind of traffic eventually. Well said.

      I will share with you, and this is not going to make you happy, around here most of our traffic repairs are done at night. Some construction takes place during the day, but parts of it are at night so that they are less inconvenienced by us and we are less inconvenienced by them. It’s still a mess to look at and we are forced to drive in fewer lanes during the day, but the people in the florescent vests seem to be fewer and far between.

      Like

    1. Elle Rebel, exactly. I couldn’t figure what to make of the Boomer woman’s rant so I went with “I believe you.” 🤷‍♀️ Thanks for visiting and taking time to comment. Nice to meet ‘ya.

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  19. That was hilarious! Sorry, but I have nothing to rant about, except maybe the hot humid weather, and what good would that do. I don’t even have any renovation rants, as my kitchen reno went smoothly, everyone was nice and on time, and the price was right. I used to rant about work, and demanding people, but retirement has been wonderful in that respect, it’s less peoplely out there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Joni, I, personally, live a life in which I rarely rant. I’m too cynical and/or mellow to go on a rant. But the people who I’ve spoken with lately have not been happy campers, and I’m a good listener, so I’ve heard the things. Not that I agree with their rants, but whatever. I believe you when you say that retirement has been wonderful– if for no other reason than you deal with fewer people.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. In my job I dealt with about 200 people a day, either in person or on the phone, and a certain percentage of those were understandably miserable as they were sick – so retirement is blissfully silent. I socialize when I want/need to, which for an introvert isn’t too often.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I cannot imagine dealing with 200 people per day. All that emotion and noise! I’m an introvert and being quiet and reserved makes me whole and happy. Glad you’ve found the bliss of retirement.

          Liked by 1 person

  20. Everybody’s got there thing. Mostly no one has it easy although some have it a bit better than others. And life is all about reaction. I think people forget that it’s all kind of a just a game.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Pam, you make valid points. I try to not react and live a more intentional life, but many of the peoples are all about reacting 24/7. I agree there’s a game aspect to life. One of my favorite sayings is: don’t be a pawn in someone else’s game. Words to live by.

      Liked by 1 person

  21. The only thing I could complain about at the moment is the fact that I don’t really have anything to complain about. I mean really; don’t you just HATE when that happens?!
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Thank you for your service. 🙏

    How come all the flowers blooming now have to be the ones I’m allergic to? Makes it hard to put together my little bathroom bouquet! (How’s that for “serious” rant?)🤧

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Eilene, I believe you and am sorry that flowers that should be wonderful are causing you distress. My allergies are aggravated by golden rod that will be here in a few weeks, but flowers I can deal with. Again, condolences.

      Liked by 2 people

  23. How truly nice of you to
    Offer us the chance to rant! But for me – it comes two weeks too late – so May I take a rain check? Hahaha

    And have you ever heard of the HBO show called Barry?
    Well Just finished watching season 2 and a few scenes that stood out – were the rant scenes –
    And in one of them – a long rant by the female lead player by Sarah Goldberg! Omg! And when she was done – the guy she rented to almost said “I believe you” – ha! But instead said nada – just looked with an okay message –
    Very well
    Done

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yvette, I’m not familiar with Barry. It sounds clever. I’m sure every woman knows the feeling of going on a long rant, then being met with *nothing* as if validating the rant with “I believe you” is too much to ask. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Great post! I rant to my sisters when taking care of an aging, high maintenance parent gets under my skin. I just need to get things off my chest. I try to limit my ranting but sometimes there’s nothing better than a good rant, and nothing less will do! Thank goodness for patient listeners😁🙏

    You have a knack for capturing everyday, very human tendencies in a such a fun and humorous way. Well done!

    Susan Grace

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Susan Grace, thank you! I wrote this after a weird week of hearing all sorts of things that, while true to the person saying them, made me wonder. Thus I said: “I believe you.” I mean, we all can use a bit of validation and kindness from time-to-time, as evidenced by your convos with your sisters. You’re lucky to have them.

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  25. Heh-heh…this is a good one, Ally. I have several ‘soap boxes’ I could throw down here, but I’m thinking more along personal lines right now. Not really a rant, but just wishing we could all just be nicer and civil and less narcissistic.
    Our lifestyle is one where we can’t always put a definite date on our plans…our plans to move and when our ‘new’ business will be up and running and it’s hard enough for me to accept that…let alone others dismissing us as being all words and nothing to show for it but really, there’s so much going on ‘backstage’ it’s not like we’re sitting around eating bon-bons.
    So my rant would be: quit judging and then saying dumb stuff like, ‘just persevere, be patient’. I’m 64 for goodness’s sake, patience cuts into my remaining years!!!!
    Yep, all over the map here…
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. laura, I like your rant and I believe you. I also agree with you in that many people don’t seem to comprehend that 90% of all projects are behind the scenes. Maybe I have an introvert’s take on this, but backstage has to happen first for center stage to be of value. In my experience. Eating bon-bons, pish posh.

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Ha ha – you may be sorry you asked for our rants – mine is not nice and I’ve ranted enough to you about the ‘hood this week, but I have an issue with a good friend who must solve all her dilemmas through therapy. I want to say, but resist and hold my tongue, just solve your own issues – why are you paying $150.00 for a half-hour of advice … she is not working, but living on money from her late mother. Her husband is not making an exorbitant wage either. I’ve often suggested she just sit down, deal with it. I am dealing with a lot of little things right now and trying to get past them, but therapy to me, nor meds, are not the answer. Her issues are not major – no more so than mine – she has individual sessions with a therapist, wanted a group session with her family – her daughter refused that group therapy session (she lives there with her baby; boyfriend lives at home and is in mid-30s and offers no support emotionally or money wise). Her husband accompanied her to therapy and said something she didn’t like – she countered and he stalked out of the session. She wrote me this detailed e-mail saying “I told the therapist my lot in life.” Then there were icy conditions at home because they are mad at her. My friend will complete grad school in a few months, her second Masters, first one in 1978 – I want to say that sometimes all the degrees in the world do not make you smarter – you need to use your head, be a little more street smart and get past the stuff that irks you. Yes I realize I have issues with the dog barking but if I choose not to move because I am set in my ways and don’t wish to take on debt (we are the same age, 63 BTW), I guess that is my issue to deal with and it’s just about “suck it up buttercup!” I do not mean to disparage anyone who does therapy – for serious issues, for marital relations gone astray, yes … by all means salvage your relationship, or past circumstances, but because your husband is bored with you or does not pick up his socks or your daughter borrows your shampoo and clothing … just get past it. Climbing down off my soapbox now.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. linda, you’ve made my day with this rant. I love your line: “just solve your own issues” instead of paying someone to listen to you. Some problems just need DIY solutions, not therapy.

      I don’t know anyone like this but I can imagine how this person could get on your nerves. Most people who I know who’ve gone to therapy have benefitted from it, but I also suspect that they were there to get better– not get noticed. Which is what it sounds like is going on with your friend. I believe you about this rant and am sorry it’s even a part of your life.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad to give you a smile Ally. It annoys me to no end and I have at least six e-mails about various recent trips to the therapist to read/respond to – I keep marking them “unread” and moving on.
        This hectic week at work, my computer’s meltdown and being online less due to these storms, gave me an opportunity to shoot her an e-mail and beg off answering right now and I will let them languish a little longer. I’d never knock therapy because sometimes it is needed. My heart bleeds for people who have serious illnesses – for those people, I offer my sympathies and my ear. But my friend – that is fluff stuff IMO. And, in some instances, changing a situation (like mine by moving) is not a guarantee that things will be better – life has very few guarantees. It could end up being the same, or worse. Sometimes we just have to grin and bear it.

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  27. I like that both of your examples are people griping about generations. Why do people resent other generations so much, blame them for all of the troubles in the world? It’s silly.

    I’m sorry about your heat, especially with the humidity. That is one good thing about living where I do, it does get hot, but it’s dry heat. The down side of course is the horrible fires we have every autumn, before the rains start.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. J, I’ve no answer to your question about generations blaming each other, but I agree with you. It’s silly. The two blamers I mentioned above were ridiculously illogical, but I listened.

      Yes, like they say around here: it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity. We’re staying inside as much as possible this weekend. Thank goodness for AC and cold water.

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    1. Marie, what a wonderful person you are to read all these comments, some ranting, some raving. I agree with you in that the world would run more smoothly if more people listened. How shall we go about making that the done thing? 🤔

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  28. You have the best discussions, Ally. 😉 I just complained to my nephew about how Disney seems to remake everything under the sun. He listened and then provided a perspective I had never thought of (that maybe kids today want their own version of characters Disney considers relevant). That shut me up. So no rants from me!

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    1. L. Marie, I enjoy the discussions in my comment section so thanks for joining in. I believe you when you say that Disney seems to be remaking everything. I’ve noticed that, too. I hadn’t thought of what your nephew said but it does makes sense. I believe him, too. Good perspective from that kid.

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  29. Perceptive, empathetic, and tuned-in. That’s a mighty combination! 😉 One is always best to just let people get it off their chests. It’s a lesson that has taken me nearly 60 years to learn because I’ve always felt a need to chip-in with my own two cents (and not always in agreement). Perhaps I’m wary too of that Trumpian atmosphere, but I’m finding it easier to just let people get it out of their systems now. – Marty

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    1. Marty, like you it took me a long time to learn to let people just go on with their rants. I used to worry that someone would think I was agreeing with them, but I’ve come to realize that once someone gets on a good rant they aren’t paying attention to me at all. Especially when said person is going all Trumpster on me. 🙄

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  30. Can you tell I’m trying to catch up here? It’s taking days, but I am going to crack it!

    I *could* rant, oh my could I! But I’m done with all the rubbish that’s been happening of late (both personally and on the world stage). So, I thought I’d talk about listening instead. As a counsellor/life coach, I do a lot of that. In fact, even before I trained, I did a lot of it. People seemed to seek me out to share their stories or their troubles, which I guess makes me a good listener. “Active” listening is quite the skill, as many are just waiting for their chance to start talking (or talking again). I like talking too – quite a lot actually 😉 – but listening (even when I’m listening in to what’s going on around me) has always come naturally and I seem to absorb all kinds of stuff without even realising.

    You’re providing a great service Ally, not just in listening, but by hearing and acknowledging those who are talking to you.

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    1. Deb, I agree about active listening. It’s something that’s always come naturally to me, being curious and observant. I took a class in grad school on listening in all its various permutations and I aced the class while everyone else struggled.

      I, too, absorb all kinds of ideas from the things people tell me. I’m often fascinated, or dismayed, by what someone thinks is important, but I learn something from that experience so it’s good. Often enlightening. Reminds me how rational I really am… 😳

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  31. You took a class in listening? Oh how fascinating. Is that a training/educating opportunity I should investigate I wonder? Hmmm … 🙂

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    1. My MA is in Communication and a class on Listening was part of it. Mandatory as a matter of fact. We learned listening styles, and we learned anatomy, and we learned how to teach other people to listen. If you could find such a class, I bet you’d get something out of it.

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  32. No rants at the moment. I’m enjoying my summer weekends on the lake and this morning I woke up to the call of a loon. Pretty great way to start the day and so right now I think life is beautiful. 🙂 (Of course, I’m sure there are people out there who might have also been awakened by the loon and been ticked off. So, you know, everyone has their own thing.)

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    1. Kate, I’d like to be awakened by the call of a loon, so I, too, would be enjoying my time at the lake. Those other people, and I’m sure you’ll agree, are just plain…. [wait for it]… loony. 😜

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  33. Goodness, does the world need more of the listening and validating. I’m terrible at it so I’m glad you’re willing to do it. While in Michigan my grandmother went on a rant about “parents these days” (which I think is a pretty typical grandma rant TBH and should be treated with smiling and nodding) but the groove that I rest my tongue between my teeth disappeared and I snapped “you know, there are things your generation did that I don’t agree with and there are things my generation is doing that you disagree with, but at the end of the day we’re all just parents who are trying to do the damn well best we can, so maybe let’s just keep that in mind. All generations have their shit.” And then we awkwardly changed the subject. Maybe next time I’ll try a “I believe you” and spare myself the uncomfortable conversation switch.

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    1. katie, I like your response to your grandma. Sometimes you have to set some boundaries, tell some truths, make clear where you stand on things. Perhaps that was one of those times? But when it really makes no difference to me, as many things don’t anymore, I just say “I believe you” and let it go. Whatevs.

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