A Party, A Conversation, A Confused Me: What Does *Mainstream* Mean To You?

/ Ally Bean

I WAS AT A PARTY where I ended up in a weird conversation that confused me. Generally speaking, being empathetic, I’m good at intuiting what is really being said, reading between the lines, but this time… I dunno.

Here’s what happened:

I was standing in the kitchen [no surprise, right?] talking with three pleasant women, one of whom I’d just met. The other two I’ve seen maybe 2 times in the last 10 years, so not friends– more like casual almost acquaintances that pass in the night.

What I know for sure about these woman is that they each:

  1. are married to the father of their children;
  2. have kids in college, hither and yon across the US;
  3. work outside the home, in different industries;  and
  4. attend Christian churches of different denominations.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

ONE WOMAN WAS TALKING ABOUT how her youngest child would be out of college by the end of the year. This meant that she was to the point of thinking about leaving her full-time job. This woman wasn’t sure what she was going to do next, but it was NOT going to be what she’d been doing.

To me this seemed like a standard conversation, at least until the woman I just met said: “Well, just make sure that whatever you do it next isn’t mainstream.”

And with that the three started laughing, loudly, glancing at each other as if this was the funniest thing anyone ever said.

I was lost.

The conversation continued with them talking about how they could never be mainstream– except that they were rolling their eyes like this was an inside joke and they knew they were mainstream.

I was still lost.

As a free-spirited woman who has never been called mainstream I was clueless about what was being implied by the word mainstream, yet I knew something was up.

At this point I’d have asked clarifying questions, but we were interrupted by someone who walked into the kitchen with a story to tell– and I never got the chance. Considering these are casual acquaintances [at best], I’m not going to call one and ask what was really going on.

• • •

{ source }

• • •

NATURALLY I’VE BEEN WONDERING about the conversation:

🔹 Was it about how they considered themselves to be the very definition of mainstream, embracing the word as a kind of mantra, taking it to be complimentary?

OR

🔹 Was it about how they never would define themselves as mainstream, so there’s no way that one of them could ever do anything mainstream, taking it to be derogatory?

OR

🔹 Were they talking about something else in reference to mainstream, like a pop culture or political or small town allusion that I’m not familiar with, something like that maybe?

Obviously I don’t know, but this conversation has stayed on my mind,  stumped by what was really going on. Thus I’m asking you, my little moonbeams of conversational clarity, for your take on this.

Help me understand, please.

~ 🔹 ~

QUESTIONS OF THE DAY

Have you ever felt like I did that you were adjacent to an inside joke?

When the word mainstream is used around you, assuming it is, how do you define it?

In your worldview does it have a positive or negative connotation? Or neutral?

Also, been to any good parties lately? Do tell

~ ~ 🥳 ~ ~

210 thoughts on “A Party, A Conversation, A Confused Me: What Does *Mainstream* Mean To You?”

  1. I’ve never heard it used like that before so I don’t know what they meant by it. Perhaps in her next job she will solve world hunger? Work for Habitat or Humanity? That’s certainly not mainstream. I have a friend (a fairly good one) who uses the term “woke” which has become weaponized politically. She uses it to describe anyone she doesn’t like regardless of their politics. I’m always tempted to ask her what she means by it but don’t want to engage in political wrangling. She’s a wonderful person but she jumps on bandwagons. She is definitely mainstream! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kate, yours is a plausible answer. It meant work at a job that solves big problems instead of to just make money? That could be what was being implied.

      Or it could have something to do with weaponized language like your friend who uses “woke” to mean “person I don’t like.” Another possibility. Thanks for the ideas.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Hmmm….risking that my comment might be perceived as “mainstream”…i.e, not flashy, current and far too regular and boring…I’ll say I’m glad you’re not close to any of these women. I’ve heard the word used as an alternative for “average” and I don’t care for it. Same for the odd don’t-you-dare-be-ordinary giggles following the remark. See me? I’m walking away…looking for a convo with a little depth. 😜

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Ally, I’m in your camp, unsure of what is meant by “mainstream,” which to me connotes “ordinary, what everyone else is doing.” If I used the word to refer to my next job search, I don’t think I’d expect giggles or laughter.

    Still, clueless. . .

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marian, I’m pleased that you’re as clueless as I am about what was really being said when these women used *mainstream* and then laughed. Like I said, I’m usually good at reading between the lines, but this conversation has me confused. Not that it matters one iota, really.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The word that popped into my head was ‘unoriginal’. Like, same old, follow the masses. As in “it is appropriate to work in x industry doing y job as a mom of college-bound kids’, implying after college kid has graduated, she should consider doing something that doesn’t fit that predictable expectations of a midlife woman. (Exit the mainstream?)

    But I don’t know. I’ve never heard that word used in that context. It seems like a weird comment.

    The laughing part that made you feel like you weren’t included in the inside joke might have also been missed by the other participants, possibly? Sometimes people laugh along to feel included even if they are clueless what just happened.

    I’ve seen people do this and I may have done this myself at some point, but I always feel so inauthentic when I laugh along at some joke when I don’t get it. 🤷‍♀️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Claudette, you may have nailed it. The point of the comment was to encourage another woman to go beyond the “predictable expectations of a midlife woman” and leave mainstream living behind.

      I’d never heard the word *mainstream* used like this before either. It wasn’t like there was much depth to this conversation in the kitchen, but it seemed odd to me all around, not that I was left out [that’s normal] but that I couldn’t figure out what we were really talking about. And then the conversation was over in a flash… with me baffled. 🤷‍♀️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Definitely an inside joke. I would guess, from your description, that one of the women in the conversation got labeled as “mainstream” by some jerk and shared it with her friends, and now it’s become their joke. Also possible they were trapped in a conversation with another person who fancied themselves an aspiring creative (or critic!) of some sort and went on and on about how “mainstream” everything was, with the speaker oblivious to how insulting/ pedantic they sounded. Could also be the word of the week from their kids (although I haven’t heard this one) used to demean parents. (Possibly some conservatives have shortened “mainstream media,” which they mock and ridicule, into “mainstream” and are trying to sell it as a mainstream insult!) Whatever the origin, it was rude of these women not to share the joke with you. I have inside jokes with siblings and friends, and it they crop up at weddings/ events with new folks, I always explain the context. Because I am not a middle schooler.

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    • AutumnAshbough, all of your ideas about what was meant with the word *mainstream* make sense to me. I’d considered that they used the word because they were mocking someone else who is pretentious AND I’d considered that the word was somehow an insult that stemmed from the online conservative movement, BUT I hadn’t thought of it as something a kid might say to demean parents.

      Granted it doesn’t matter to me what they meant, but I do agree with you if it was an inside joke, and I believe it was, then they should have leaned over and told me why it was funny. Context is everything, but good adult manners aren’t so common.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Ally, I am clueless on their definition of “mainstream.” The vibe reminds me of going to a high school reunion where I have only seen the people possibly twice in 40 years, yet they know each other well. An inside joke? You did indicate they were pleasant women. At least they were not Stepford Wives…finally finding a way to exit the ‘mainstream’ lives they have been cast in all these years…or were they? 😉 Erica

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erica/Erika, good analogy to going to a high school reunion. That is how this conversation seemed to me. I was missing something, the connecting link about why *mainstream* was funny, yet they weren’t inclined to explain it to me. Very much like being in high school again.

      As for being Stepford Wives finally escaping their patriarchal existences, you made me laugh out loud with that one. Could be, I suppose. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I am stumped too. The only context I’ve heard the word used in lately is “mainstream media,” which to me means media that is fact-checked and verified, but to others means — well, I’m not sure what they think it means, but apparently it’s not good.
    I can’t think how one would approach a career path from that perspective. A career that’s not fact-checked and verified? Who knows? I work at a library. Some would say that’s mainstream. Other people – the book banning types – don’t like that we make all the points of view available. So not so mainstream then.
    Somehow I think the people who wouldn’t want to be mainstream are also the same people who don’t want all the points of view available, and how ironic is that?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Arlene, I’ve heard the word used in reference to media too. Like you I thought it meant fact-checked, verified, corroborating sources– which I’d say is a good thing, but my experience is that for some people rigorous truthfulness is the enemy.

      I like how you’ve tried to parse out how one goes about finding a *mainstream* job. I hadn’t thought of it from a pragmatic point of view. I adore your conclusion about being a librarian. You’ve nailed it with your last sentence. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I vote for inside joke–laughter for no apparent reason usually points to that, but I never thought mainstream even had a negative connotation.

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  11. I vote for inside joke–laughter for no apparent reason. I never thought mainstream even had a negative connotation, unless it implies some sort of snobbery, maybe.

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  14. I would be dying inside to know what was actually being implied. I can’t help you with the “mainstream” conversation, but I’m hoping someone in the comments can, because now I’m curious. If I had to guess, I would think it must have been an inside joke.

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    • Esoterica, I usually walk away from parties never thinking much about the conversations again. BUT this one has me baffled and has stayed with me for weeks. If it was an inside joke, and I think it was, then was it because they were mainstream OR because they weren’t mainstream… in their own estimation? Too weird

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  15. I thought “normal” right away. The thing that most people in a specific group do or possess. Depending on the attitude of the group the context can be varied- mostly neutral but leaning to derogatory in my experience I think.

    I have been on the outside of many, many jokes and I feel really uncomfortable and simply want to walk away when those inside jokes come up in a group that I am unfamiliar with. It sort of irks me actually, but then I wonder and assume that I’ve probably done the same thing to others on the outside at some point and try just to do the “Head nod, sly smile, quiet chuckle” and choose to wander off for a snack or another glass of wine 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, “normal” is a good definition of *mainstream* and one that seems spot on in most situations. You’re right that a lot of the meaning depends on the attitude of whoever uses the word, but I couldn’t assess these women’s attitudes.

      I sensed that there was more to the story but because we were interrupted, and I didn’t care enough, I never found out the rest of it. Still my mind has played around with that word for weeks now. Maybe I just need another glass of wine and all will be clear!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. This sounds so strange. I can’t figure out what they were referring to. My guess is that it was negative, as in YOU DON’T WANT YOUR NEXT JOB TO BE SOMETHING ORDINARY OR EXPECTED OR BORING. I think that’s an awful generalization. Must be nice to be so spectacular. Weird.

    I’m looking forward to an UPCOMING party . . . Coach and I are going to visit Tank at college and there will be a gathering of the students and their parents. Always enjoyable.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ernie, I thought it was strange, too. Probably why I’ve been pondering what was really being said. I agree that whatever was being implied was a generalization of something. Laughing, no doubt they are spectacular. You nailed that.

      Your upcoming party will be fun. Something slightly different, yet familiar. Bet you won’t meet anyone who describes themself, or their jobs, as *mainstream*!

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  17. Adjacent to an inside joke? Totally. I’m not sure what they were on about, but Victoria’s interpretation makes sense to me. Their behaviour was rude – I’ve witnessed this type of thing time and again – so I would have wandered off to find a more inclusive group.

    To me, the word ordinary or regular can stand in for mainstream, and I’m pretty neutral about it. Lots of people think of mainstream as boring, that it means they are part of the herd, aren’t special (depending on the generation, they may have been told repeatedly how “special” they are). I think lots of people see it as mundane. But most of us are. People outside the mainstream can be dominated by either positive or negative connotations.

    Any good parties lately? Nope. I’m an introvert and avoid them. I can’t say that I’ve ever really enjoyed a party.

    Interesting post and especially reading through the comments. Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynette, I was saved from wandering away from these three women because of the arrival of a person with a personal [somewhat harrowing] story to tell who shifted the conversation to a more inclusive interesting way, I’d add.

      I bet you’re right that *mainstream* means “boring” to some people and that might be what was being implied in this conversation: in your next job work at something interesting, not something boring.

      I’m an introvert and understand your aversion to parties. Because of ZD’s career I’ve never had the luxury of not going to them until the pandemic changed socializing for us. Now I go to maybe one a year and rather enjoy the experience. Less is more.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. They’ve had this conversation before, or it wouldn’t have been so funny.
    The only real clue I think is the comment that the one woman would now be able to work part-time since her youngest is in college which tells me she doesn’t like her ‘mainstream’ job that allowed her to educate her children. I’m sure the three of them have discussed this before, and probably they all have more creative dreams they’ve put aside to get their kids a start. Mainstream probably pays better than what they really want to do. That’s my guess.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I don’t know what they meant by “mainstream” either – but it does sound like an inside joke. I’m usually on the outside of inside jokes at gatherings!! I can’t actually remember the last time I was at a party!

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    • Michelle G., it was the inside joke adjacent part that made me keep thinking about this conversation. This was the first party I’ve been to since March 2020 when the pandemic changed socializing forever. Haven’t missed them, but I had fun at this one.

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  21. I think previous commenters have nailed all the possible explanations, so I can’t offer anything new. I will say, though, that they were doing you a favor by revealing important things about themselves. And people wonder why other people don’t like to go to parties. After that exchange I’d have wanted to go hide out in the bathroom for a bit and play a word game on my phone.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rita, oh you’ve made me laugh out loud. I was saved from further mainstream-ness by the person who came into the kitchen with a real story to tell. It’s odd, I didn’t think anything more about the conversation until a few days later when I got wondering what the heck those three were really talking about.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Maybe “mainstream” is the new “basic”? And OK, I’m just gonna say it: Those women sound pretty basic to me. Not because of any of the information you shared about their lives, but because of their rudeness.

        Glad to provide you with a chuckle.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I’m wondering if you’re right that *mainstream* is now defined as “basic” which has a somewhat negative connotation. These women were average and conventional– at least so far in their life choices. And yes, they were a little rude… self-absorbed perhaps?

          Liked by 1 person

          • I don’t know about self-absorbed, but LOOK WHAT I FOUND:

            “In slang, basic characterizes someone or something as unoriginal, unexceptional, and MAINSTREAM (all caps are mine). A basic girl—or basic bitch as she is often insulted—is said to like pumpkin spice lattes, UGG boots, and taking lots of selfies, for instance.” (from Dictionary.com’s slang dictionary.)

            Further down the page, this: “While basic can describe anyone or anything considered disagreeably mainstream, it especially insults, as noted, young white women. As basic and basic bitch spread in popular culture, some women aren’t oblivious to their supposed basic-ness but ironically embrace it….”

            Perhaps they were ironically embracing their ordinariness and were being neither mean nor self-absorbed. Maybe they assumed you’d get the joke? Maybe one of their kids called them “mainstream” and that was the joke? Maybe we are not basic/mainstream because I had to google a slang dictionary to figure this out, but we are definitely, I’m guessing, not cool/with it. 😉

            Liked by 2 people

            • Good research. I suppose it’s possible that they knew this particular meaning for the word *mainstream* [from their kids] and were in fact poking fun at themselves. That kind of rings true, in the sense that they seemed pleasant enough, just in their own little world. Since I’m far removed from the latest slang it made little sense to me and they could have assumed I understood what they were saying so they didn’t explain.

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  22. Definitely some kind of inside joke–perhaps due to their conventional lives someone once referred to them as mainstream and they now use that humorously to refer to themselves and their jobs. Mainstream should mean ordinary and popular but has gotten a bit of a bad rap for being boring and non-creative in these days when (due to the internet) so many want to get attention and be unusual.

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    • Margaret, I wondered that too. Did someone once call the three of them *mainstream* and they’ve taken that word as their mantra? I’ll never know for sure, but they are conventional, very normal, so maybe in the future they’ll throw off that description on the way to… more attention? I dunno.

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    • Janis, no I didn’t find out exactly what the one woman’s job was, just something that involved going to an office downtown.

      I bet you will know the inside jokes! There are no neighborhood parties around here anymore, which as an introvert I kind of like.

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  24. It’s gotta be some kind of inside joke, to my thinking. These women as you described them seem pretty mainstream to me.
    It’s a neutral word to me – a descriptor of a typical North American nuclear family way of life and thinking is how I understand it. During the pandemic, I noticed that the anti-vaxxers used it as a negative as in “don’t believe what mainstream media is trying to tell you”. So maybe in some circles it still is considered a negative?

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, like you I think of *mainstream* as a neutral word that when used descriptively is only doing that– describing. But I had such a feeling that something else was going on among these women. I’d say they are mainstream, that’s how I’d describe their lives, and I wouldn’t be saying anything negative. But who knows, maybe I’d be misunderstood & insult them?

      Liked by 1 person

  25. That seems a bewildering use of the word “mainstream,” Ally. That they all laughed knowingly would imply that it’s some sort of in joke. Or maybe they’re an advance team for the latest conspiracy theory and a year from now, “mainstream” will be the new derogatory term for “woke” or “liberal” or “vegan.” Time will tell.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Definitely an inside joke. At my age, I’m often left out of the conversations when my children are around, as I don’t watch the same movies, follow the same comedians, etc.

    Liked by 2 people

    • VJ, I know what you mean about not knowing the latest names and shows in entertainment. This situation was a lot like that, as if I should understand what *mainstream* meant… because they did and therefore everyone else should too.

      Like

  27. ‘Well, just make sure that whatever you do it next isn’t mainstream’ . I would’ve likened that word to something out of the ordinary. So, just make sure that you don’t do something extraordinary (like robbing a bank). Stay safe and comfortable whatever you do. But, you’ve given synonyms for the word, so I must’ve got it wrong. Blast, I hope I don’t spend the night worrying about it. We’re off to a dinner party this evening (I made the salad) and a surprise birthday party for someone on Sat night. Plus people coming to stay from tomorrow. I’ll be away Ally Bean from next week for a month ( much travelling so probably unable to check you out) so be well, have fun , be cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, I had to research the synonyms for the word because I wasn’t sure I was defining it properly. From what I can tell it means being safe and common and conventional, which I guess was what these three women thought the one shouldn’t be. Unless it was a joke.

      You sound like you have a good deal of fun coming your way. You’re heading into Spring, aren’t you? That’s usually when the socializing begins in earnest around here. Enjoy and I’ll seize ‘ya when I seize ‘ya!

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  28. Ally, no wonder you wondered what on earth was going on. I do find that type of behaviour rude, but unfortunately it isn’t uncommon.

    I wondered if one of their number had received a derisory comment from one of their older children and had shared it with her friends. Other than that, I’ve got nothing. Except to say that you’ve good taste in those you choose to spend time with and those you only see every few years.

    No parties here… The last party I went to was for a 2 year old, and it was lovely.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, it was strange, but also just so casual that I think I was supposed to know what *mainstream* meant, but I didn’t.

      Good theory that one of the kids had tossed an insult at one of these women and now it was the raison d’être for living. I don’t think it was meant to be hurtful.

      I haven’t been to a kid’s birthday party in ages, like long before Covid-19. I’m sure yours was lovely.

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  29. Sorry, but that’s just socially awkward, Ally. Even if it was an inside joke, it deserves an explanation to you as a courtesy. Maybe the inside joke is in wondering if the clueless person will ask for an explanation or not? Regardless, this use of the word makes no sense to me. Frankly, the only way I’ve heard it is in “mainstream media”, not as any of those other synonyms you included.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dave, this conversation happened in a flash, then we were interrupted by someone with a real story to tell. I agree that if it was an inside joke, letting me in on it would have been nice. But maybe they assume everyone uses the word *mainstream* in the same way?

      For year I’ve heard the media described as mainstream but I thought that meant conventional, as in using well-established reporting techniques instead of just tossing lies out there. So who knows?

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  30. The way I read your description of the conversation it does sound a little like they were using the word in a derogatory way and yes, inside joke. I agree that maybe they meant for her to follow a creative path because obviously “us” artists are not mainstream – LOL. I haven’t been to a party since before the pandemic either but I have a wedding AND our 50th high school reunion (which I am helping to plan) coming up in October. Wish me luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, I’m leaning into what you’re saying. I think [maybe] the word was being used in a derogatory way and the idea was to break free from middle class expectations. But I dunno, it seemed odd in all ways.

      A wedding and a reunion will be parties of a specific kind. I enjoyed the party I went to, but it was a casual get-together, and despite this one peculiar conversation, very fun. I bet you’ll have a good time at both of your events.

      Liked by 1 person

  31. I was initially stumped by why someone is leaving their job because their youngest is graduating college? Unless they don’t need to pay tuition, so no longer need the income?

    I’ve also never heard a job referred to as mainstream. What wouldn’t be mainstream? Being an artist? I can’t figure it out at all. I have noticed people thinking ‘mainstream’ as a negative, same as being ‘basic.’ Whatever!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bijoux, my understanding was that this woman was only working at her current job to pay for her last child’s tuition. Once no more college, then no more job.

      You raise a good point about what is a *mainstream* job and how does one avoid having one. I’ve no answer to your question. Interesting about *mainstream* being considered a negative. I’m indifferent to it, but I am also not mainstream so what do I know? 😉

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  32. Oh how I wish you were able to ask your questions! Obviously it was an inside joke, but I am so curious on your behalf. This might be a joke like the one I have with my kids where we say anything that is popular is “too pedestrian” for us. This is just making gentle fun of those people who can’t enjoy anything that is, well, mainstream!
    Inside jokes are so funny because when they are explained to a non-insider, they aren’t funny at all. Like my brother and I have a running joke every April Fool’s that has to do with a reference to a dead horse, and explaining THAT ridiculous joke that has been going on for decades makes us sound demented at best.
    As for parties, I am hosting a girls’ night this weekend with my new local friends! It’s not a huge party but I think it will be very fun.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, I want to know more about their use of *mainstream* but not enough to track one down and call her. I think it was an inside joke similar to what you’re saying about “too pedestrian” when you use it. Still I don’t know for sure.

      I know your party will be a success. You’ve certainly made friends quickly. You’ve landed in a great place. Enjoy!

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  33. Love all the comments because I don’t have any idea either. I concur with the above votes for thank goodness these aren’t your close friends and that they were possibly laughing to cover up that they didn’t know. Can we have a follow up post in a year where you tell us what the speaker does when her kid graduates from college and we can vote on whether its mainstream? 🙂

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  34. I’ve been the outsider at work many times because as I aged, the nurses and doctors all got younger! I had no idea what “Netflix and chill” meant until one of them filled me in. In these cases, it was never meant maliciously, and we all made good fun of poking on each other’s ages with sayings.
    My twisted soul sisters and I have several inside jokes, but we are always together when they come into play, and no one else is around. But heck, I suspect our other halves even know our old 1977 jokes!
    As to good parties, we are going to one on Friday night but probably only 20 people that we see all the time, so it’s never awkward. In the “old days,” when my husband worked at the university, we went to many of those types of parties where you see people but don’t really know them. Even as an extrovert, I don’t miss those.
    Good post, as usual. You cool unmainstream bean!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bernie, I’ve been in that situation, too. You don’t know the latest slang and just stand there waiting until you figure it out by context or someone clues you in. Maybe *mainstream* is some new slang, but I’m not sure for what.

      Yes, this was a party where Z-D knew everybody and had a work connection to them. Previously I’d met just about everyone before, but rarely see them. Not awkward, per se, just requiring me, the introvert, to flip a switch and become temporarily extroverted. Which I can do.

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      • I used Netflix and chill out of slang context, and the laughter told me it was something else. It was pretty funny, actually.
        Yeah, those parties are more work than party. I like it when it is just friends and then it is more enjoyable.

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  35. Hi Ally! I’m not too late to the question party, but, I must say, the questions/answers have been covered quite well above, so I don’t really have much to add, but, I’ll try…

    QUESTIONS OF THE DAY
    Have you ever felt like I did that you were adjacent to an inside joke? I actually prefer to not be ‘in’ on jokes about others, so likely always feel adjacent to their jokes.

    When the word mainstream is used around you, assuming it is, how do you define it? In the context of your definition, I think they were likely referring to whatever work they currently are doing – they’re longing for something much different, aka, a mid-life crisis job on a beach somewhere braiding hair but making the same $ as their mainstream job. Or this article may shed light on what they were talking about. https://www2.deloitte.com/us/en/insights/focus/human-capital-trends/2019/alternative-workforce-gig-economy.html

    In your worldview does it have a positive or negative connotation? Or neutral? I think it has become a data manipulation word.

    Also, been to any good parties lately? Do tell: Yes, I went to a bridal shower for my bestie’s oldest daughter. Both of my daughters have opted for the elopement/smallest-ever type wedding, so I enjoyed seeing how much $ I have saved from spending on such events. The food was delicious and it was nice to see the bride-to-be smiling at the odd gifts her bridesmaid gave her. I also appreciated how the BTB had a very practical registry, so she was tickled to get the gift I gave her.

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    • Shelley, interesting article. Thanks for the link. Thinking back on the conversation and incorporating what I just read it does seem like they’re doing exactly what you said. They’re having their own versions of a midlife crisis. I don’t sense that finances are at the heart of it as much as breaking free from their current lifestyles.

      *Mainstream* then, if it means data manipulation, is negative. Kind of code for don’t get conned by what you think they want you to do. Something like that?

      I haven’t been to a bridal shower in years. All my friends are married and their kids have shown no inclination to get married, so no showers. Glad yours was fun.

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  36. It’s such an obtuse descriptor, though not if it’s been brought up in some way previously. So like all the others, and yourself, I agree this is an inside reference and joke between them. I’m sort of with Deb that it’s a rhetorical device of the political right, in this instance given to mockery to perhaps all things conventional.

    Re: inside jokes. A close friend of mine absolutely hated the show “Friends” when it was on because of their overly-insular relationships, and their constant use of inside jokes and references, often to the exclusion of outsiders. I thought she had a point, though I still enjoyed many of the episodes. – Marty

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    • Marty, it truly was an odd conversation and I felt totally lost about what we were talking about. *Mainstream* well could be a putdown by the political right, a rhetorical device that these conservative woman found ironic to use in reference to themselves knowing that as Republicans [I think] they could never be mainstream? Ha, ha!

      I saw many episodes of Friends but don’t remember the details all that much. I wasn’t a loyal viewer, so if there were inside jokes most of them passed me by. I see your friend’s point though, that sort of inside joke stuff seems like middle school.

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  37. Oh, happy day – by attending that event you were able to create a fun post! ‘Mainstream’ in life to me means something that is conventional like getting married, career and children. I’m thinking these women were celebrating that all those goals were being completed and it was time to explore other possibilities!

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    • Awakening Wonders, yours is a sound answer to this conundrum. They are conventional woman, doing what was typically expected of them, so now it’s their turn. That could well be what the one woman meant by *mainstream* knowing they’d already done that.

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  38. Hi Ally,
    I haven’t been to a party like that for quite a while. The last one I attended most of the guests were wealthy country club type people. I guess you would say mainstream. They all thought being a writer and an artist was quite odd, Almost selfish and ridiculous. Although if I’d been a successful and wealthy artist and writer I suppose I would have been acceptable!

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    • Jan, I agree with you, if you were a wildly successful writer, as in made lots of money, then that crowd would have been fawning over you. I’d call the country club set mainstream, what could be more average and conventional! 😉

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  39. I think it’s all in the inflection. If these were wealthy society women who fancy themselves trendsetters and above the rest of us, I’d say they meant doing something mainstream was horrible.
    If they were my type of sarcastic wrenches and saying it tongue in cheek, it must have been an inside joke.
    Either way, the only big parties I’ve been to in the past month were a funeral and a celebration of life.
    🥴

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    • River, I think *mainstream* was said tongue-in-cheek, knowing they were about as mainstream as can be. They certainly weren’t society women, trendsetters, although in their own minds, who knows? It was an odd conversation, open to many interpretations.

      Your parties have been more serious than the one I went to. Not exactly what you may want to attend, but good that you did.

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  40. Back in the day when I was a stay at home mom and would attend my husband’s corporate events, I always felt they were talking in code. Later, after working in Corporate America at an executive level, I could code talk with the best of them. Today, I look up words all the time because I don’t have a clue what folks are trying to say. One of those words is Woke. I continue to look it up because it seems to be used differently every time I read it or hear it. Mainstream to me means down the middle of the road, neither left or right. I haven’t been to a ‘party’ since before Covid, and must say I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything. 🙂 I enjoy seeing friends immensely and do that as often as possible, but I guess my friends and I have aged out of parties. I do hope you had a blast even with this one confusing conversation. 🙂

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    • Judy, that’s what this party was, the connections were through business and I was there with my husband. It wasn’t a bad event, just one where I was talking with people who I sort of knew, who might have been speaking in code like you mentioned.

      I’m not sure what “woke” means either. From what I can glean it has devolved into a way for you to say you dislike someone or something without going into any specifics. *Mainstream* to me is a neutral word but maybe like what politics had done to “woke” the word mainstream is morphing into a word with a negative connotation.

      This was my first party in years and could well be my last. Most people I know prefer to go out to dinner instead of having you over to their house. I prefer that, truth be told.

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  41. The mainstream comment has me stumped. I think if you knew these ladies better, you’d know what their inside joke was. My wild party adventure was a bookclub, where it was a full on sit down diner. The hostess began discussing the book and two ladies, who are hard of hearing, continued a conversation between themselves. A third woman grabbed their arms and said “Shush!” One of the women said, “I’m 70 years old and too old to be Shushed! F U , F U, F U!”

    After that, I quit book club.

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  42. “Well, just make sure that whatever you do it next isn’t mainstream.” I would not have got ether nor would I have laughed.

    To answer your A, B or C, at first I would have said B, but that’s not correct either. Indeed, I would have felt awkward that I was the only one not laughing. And I would have felt relief that someone came into the kitchen so those laughing didn’t notice myself not laughing.

    Yes, often I have felt that there was some inside joke.

    I would use the 80% of the people following regardless of correct, true or beneficial for anyone.

    In my world the word mainstream would be neutral.

    Have I been to any good parties lately? No. It’s been a rough year for us. After this extreme heat in Texas Coastal Bend allows us relief, perhaps we might invite my neighbor street people to my front yard for a re-acquaint pot luck.

    Does this help you Ally Bean?

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    • TD, I didn’t feel too awkward not understanding what was going on, but realized there was something more here. I don’t know these women very well and they know each other so it stands to reason they have their inside jokes.

      *Mainstream* is neutral to me, too. I use it as a descriptive word, not as a putdown.

      I understand your situation about the parties. This was the first one I’ve been to since march 2020. I enjoyed it but realized I hadn’t missed going to them.

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  43. Ick. I never like the feeling of being adjacent to an inside joke to which I’m not invited.
    Many years ago I went to a party thrown by a grad school colleague of the husband. All her friends were NOT mainstream. That is to say, they were very “alternative.” I am not “alternative” and I felt conspicuously “mainstream” and way out of place. Very uncomfortable.

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    • The Travel Architect, I think I was inside joke adjacent, but still not sure what the joke was. I don’t think it was on me, but who knows, huh? I know how you feel about not fitting in at a party. While this situation wasn’t that extreme it was on its way to being so, if it hadn’t been for the person who interrupted us with a story that was compelling.

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  44. It could be that they had been in a conversation where someone else used the word “mainsteam” and these women were making fun of that conversation (or that person). So, inside joke proximity.

    I was at a party a couple months ago (that’s recent for me) where I met an old boss. He was convinced that I was getting taller. I told him I’m the same height that I’ve been since 7th grade. He argued that I didn’t realize I’ve grown.

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    • Dan, I suspect your explanation of what the word *mainstream* meant to them is what was going on. Somehow that word meant more than what it means.

      How interesting that a former boss thought you are taller. I mean of all the things he could remember about you that’d be inoffensive, but darned peculiar.

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  45. We were at a different kind of party (For me that is) this past weekend, a “pre-wedding party”/ shower type thing/ the young couple is having a destination wedding next Spring, decided to throw something now, for all of their friends and family who won’t be making the trip. It was a nephew, so we knew maybe half of the guests. I am so not a party person. It ranks right up there with getting a colonoscopy. just kidding/ not really. 🙂 I think you would be a hoot to visit with at a party. Later! DM

    Liked by 1 person

    • DM, I like the idea of having a party for people who won’t be going to the destination wedding. That seems kind and fun to me. Smart kids, huh?

      I don’t love going to parties, but have been to hundreds of them because of my husband’s work. Socializing was a big part of his career early on, less so near the end. And now just occasionally [hallelujah]. I’m an introvert so I understand your point of view, but I can become extroverted when necessary, like at parties.

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  46. The Urban Dictionary describes ‘mainstream’ as being whatever is trendy. A mainstream person, then, is someone trying to fit in with what society thinks they should be.
    If that is the case, then it seems to me we have at least two mainstreams today – with Mainstream Media (MSM) shaping biased avenues of thought for the ‘mainstream’ tribes that support them. (A claim of ‘fact checking’ is of no consequence, since a biased opinion can be factual while completely ignoring other facts that don’t support the bias.)

    It saddens me to see how our governments and MSM have weaponized words, encouraged division and made people fearful. I think it is deliberate because divided people are weaker people.

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    • Margy, that’s an interesting definition of *mainstream* that is in opposition to what Dictionary.com said the word means. The synonyms I found are anything but trendy. However, I do think it makes sense that a mainstream person is trying to fit in with whatever is ordinary in their world.

      I agree that fact-checking goes only so far. There’s something called the “lie of omission” and that concept is what sometimes happens. Context is everything. There has to also be rigorous analysis using logic and reporters must check sources until they get to the primary ones. Too much of what passes as news is merely hearsay.

      I know what you mean about words being weaponized. If that was happening before these last few years, I was unaware of it. Now I’m never sure if a word I want to use has some dog whistle meaning that is signaling the opposite of what I’m saying.

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  47. Huh. Now I’m stumped and curious too. From the way you described it, I’m guessing it’s option 2 and that it’s a negative thing. But, truly… no clue! I’m not sure I hear this term bandied about, ever.

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  48. Did the three know each other perhaps better than you know any of them? It sounds like an inside joke to me, and they didn’t explain it to you due to the interruption. At least, that’s what I hope it meant, because otherwise I’m clueless. Maybe another person they know said something about being mainstream so emphatically that it made them gag, and they laugh about it to this day.

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    • J, these three women know each other much better than I know them or they know me. It’s the kid connection among them that has brought them together. I like your take on this situation. I don’t think they were being intentionally rude to me, just tickled with their sense of humor. Wine might have had something to do with it, too.

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  49. I think many others interpret mainstream as I do—ordinary, basic, repetitive, or something that doesn’t require a lot of creativity. I think the key might be understanding the woman’s previous job. If she had done some boring job for far too long, she might have thought of that as mainstream and wanted to do something more creative.

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    • Pete, this makes sense to me. The woman who was talking about changing jobs currently works in an office downtown [doing something I’m not sure about]. She could want to have a creative job next and that what was being said in a kind of silly way.

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  50. Quick question..Do they know what you do? Had you been standing there long before the comment was made? I don’t know but if the answer is Yes to the first question, I would think it might be negative toward your profession . I don’t know if it means your job is Mainstream or it’s a jab because you went a different direction. Just a thought.

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    • Catsandcoffee, I’d been standing with these woman talking about other things for a few minutes before this snippet of conversation happened. I have no idea if these woman know what I do, but doubt it. I was the outsider and rarely see them [like years elapse between us meeting]. HOWEVER I take your point. They were being Mean Girls toward me. Wouldn’t be the first time I was ostracized for being me. 😉

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  52. When I think “mainstream” the first thought that comes to mind is the news. Mainstream—the company store foisting fake news-of-choice upon a once-sleeping, slowly awakening society in an attempt to keep us all asleep and in fear of whatever they’re selling that day. Beyond that, I think of socially acceptable behavior—and every one of the synonyms listed above. In the conversation you describe, the idea that comes to mind is “fear of being boring”. Heaven forbid! 😁

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    • Julia, I, too, think of the word *mainstream* in the relationship to the news. It could have been a reference to that, mocking the way news is described. I researched the synonyms for *mainstream* hoping that’d clarify what was being said. They are in line with how I define the word and your phrase “fear of being boring” makes sense in this context.

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  53. That’s why I think it’s rude to use inside jokes in front of other people: they have no idea how to react or interpret what has been said. Maybe one of their children was railing against not wanting a “mainstream” life, and the mothers were sort of ridiculing that?

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    • Ann, I think the women picked up the word from someone else, maybe a teenage child. That seems like a reasonable assumption. All I know is that I was confused and felt like there was more to this word than its [maybe] obvious meaning. 🤔

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  54. This HAS to be an inside joke that you were’t privy to. Right?
    I would assume I’m mainstream, as are most of the people in my circle, so being mainstream isn’t bad. 😜
    It’s weird. Also, was the woman ONLY working to pay for her Childs college? I’m assuming so…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suz, I think it was an inside joke. These women are pleasant [at least on the surface] so if there was anything mean going on I didn’t get it.

      Yes, it’s my understanding that the one woman works just to make money for her kids’ college tuitions. After they’re out of school she’s free to do what she wants… as long as it’s not *mainstream* I guess. 🤷‍♀️

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  55. Hmmm…I find this confusing as well. My guess is it’s either an inside joke and/or meant to be derogatory. I’d feel awkward in your situation, highlighting how I’m an outsider (not that it’s necessarily a bad thing — but it’s just not a good feeling to be lost/excluded when you’re at a party and with a small group of women. Good for you, AllyBean, for not letting it bother you!

    I am so glad to be able to have time to read and comment here again; I just haven’t had the bandwidth to do the fun stuff the last few months! But retirement life has started, and I hope to have more time. 🙂

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    • M, it was a weird snippet of conversation and it stayed with me. Usually I go to a party and not think much about it after I leave, but this stuck.

      Good that you’re having the time to mess around in blogland again. Always fun to see what people are up to. Thanks for stopping by.

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  56. I had to think about this – and of course I think you were the outsider on the inside joke. I find that rude, by the way. If you’re looking confused to their gales of laughter, the least they should do it tell you it’s just a stupid inside joke and not worth explaining.

    What do I think of mainstream? That’s hard. These days I tend to paint it with the sheeple brush. Fox News and Orange supporters. That’s probably not fair. Mainstream may be average or ordinary or conventional and in many ways, there’s nothing wrong with that. But consider conventional wisdom. Using conventional wisdom, change doesn’t happen. Things have always been that way so that’s the way it should always be. But is being a plumber a mainstream job? What would we do without plumbers? Is being a lawyer a mainstream job? Depends on the type of law maybe?

    I’m left feeling confused an a little like a Mean Girl as discussed above.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zazzy, I agree that they didn’t have to tell me the deets of the joke, just that it was one. Maybe they would have if we hadn’t been interrupted?

      I know many people’s first impulse when they read the word *mainstream* is to think of news, but in this scenario that wasn’t what was going on.

      As for which job is mainstream and which is not mainstream, it seems to depend on your definition of *mainstream* and those definitions are all across the board. Then whether the word is positive or negative follows.

      I know that I am neutral about the word, no matter how someone uses it. But I also am comfortable not knowing what is really going on, I guess. So what do you expect? 😉

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  57. I think it was an inside joke. Maybe one of them had been called mainstream as an insult but they’d laughed it off and now it was a joke?
    My hubby despises everything ”mainstream”. But even he does things that go under that category. It’s hard to be 100% cool and quirky all the time!!! 🤪

    Liked by 2 people

    • The Snow Melts Somewhere, I like your suggested scenario. It makes sense that they’d laugh off something, they were pleasant enough women.

      I adore your last sentence: It’s hard to be 100% cool and quirky all the time!!! I’m laughing at your observation about him. 😊

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  58. I think they had a private joke among themselves Ally and were being petty and rather childish, like teenagers sharing a secret and giggling about it because they are in the know about some tidbit of gossip and you’re not. After they tittered over this shared joke, to be polite, one should have done an aside to you so you’re not left hanging and keep the conversation flowing and not having awkward silence. People who do exclusion-type behavior turns me off. Mainstream to me would be what is “going with the flow” – doing what everyone else does without having any urge to stray from the rest and think for yourself and daring to be different.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, well your first sentence would describe my take on these women. They’re pleasant enough but also live in their own small world. Yes, it would have been nice to have been let in on the joke, but whatevs. 🙄

      Your definition of *mainstream* is interesting. I think of the word meaning as ordinary, definitely not thinking for yourself, not being different. Hence I never would use the word to describe myself!

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  59. Hi Ally, I have heard mainstream used to mean ordinary or common, or even average but my context is probably not going to be the same as an inside joke of two American women. Thus I consulted the urban dictionary as the font of all slang knowledge, globally. Here is what it said: “A mainstream person is someone who jumps from trend to trend so that they fit in with the rest of the crowd. Mainstream is being what society thinks you should be, and look like.”
    The women must be stand outs, trendsetters or the opposite: social outliers. Are they arty or like to push the boundaries? If so, they might despise mainstream.

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    • Amanda, my definition of *mainstream* is the same as yours. I think of the word meaning conventional, common, typical SO the Urban Dictionary definition isn’t the one think of. These women are conventional, concerned with fitting in, not trendsetters that’s for sure. I suppose the use of the word *mainstream* might have been said as something motivational, to encourage the one woman to finally push a boundary. 🤷‍♀️

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  60. To be honest, I can’t remember hearing the word ‘mainstream’ as anything other than a navigational term until the past decade or so. I have no idea what it means today in general conversation, although the most common use — ‘mainstream media’ — suggests traditional, or typical, or generally accepted, or such. “Out of the mainstream” turns up now and then, but that’s a pretty neutral term for me. My decision to change occupations and become a varnisher, for example, put me “out of the mainstream” for some people.

    I guess that addresses all of your questions but one: have I been to any parties lately? As a matter of fact, yes. It wasn’t advertised as a party as such, but I think it turned into one about the time we began line dancing on the driveway to this.

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    • Linda, I can honestly say that until this conversation I’d never given a second thought to the word *mainstream* but once I got home and reflected back on the conversation I started thinking about it. I define it as conventional or ordinary [see synonyms above], but apparently it can also describe someone who follows trends wanting to belong somewhere, being with it in the main stream. Strange conversation, but if nothing else I’ve learned something new about the word.

      I like the song you were dancing to. Anytime there’s dancing it’s a party. And it sounds like it was a fun spontaneous one at that!

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  61. Mainstream seems like a neutral word to me, unless one looks down on all things normal or conventional. I don’t hear it used that often and would be as bewildered as you were if I heard it used the way you did. Haven’t been to a party in years…

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    • Barbara, like you I think of *mainstream* as being a neutral word. In the is context I’m not sure what was being implied, but there was some subtext to the conversation. This was my first party in a long time. I had a nice time, but can honestly say I don’t miss going to them.

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    • John, I know what you mean– my brain is a little fried from the comments on this post. I think it was an inside joke, but what the joke meant is beyond me. One thing for certain *mainstream* means many things to many people.

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  63. I hate being adjacent to an inside joke. It’s rude – esp. if nobody tried to enlighten the bystander.

    I have never heard “mainstream” used in this context, but my first hunch when I read the conversation was that it meant that they should do something “original”… you know, how everybody these days should turn their hobbies into careers or become influencers or something.
    But I have no idea obviously how it was meant. I would have been lost like you.

    Mainstream can have a positive or negative connotation depending on the context, I feel. So in the conversation that was had it sounds like mainstream was meant negatively, although I am not sure why? Maybe because these days everybody wants to “stand out”/be famous? I don’t know.

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    • San, it was a little rude in the moment, but I didn’t take offense to it. I was just aware of it.

      You have a good point. I can see how being “original” could be what was being implied, do something creative instead of working in an office cubicle. That makes sense.

      Laughing about your snide take on turning your hobbies into being an influencer. Not a fan of that word or the concept behind it. I can see how any one of these three women might want to be famous, expand their worlds. That could well be what was really being said.

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  64. I’m so bloody behind on blogging – I’ve been canning and canning and… anyway…
    I fear I would have felt exactly as you – mainstream? What? I think we’re supposed to be insulted if we are called so?
    And feeling on the outside of an inside joke is rude and so not cool. I just hate it.
    I say Pffft! Let ’em put whatever into their little boxes and you just be you.

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    • Dale, I know how you feel about being behind on blogging. I am too– house painters are everywhere I wanna be around this house.

      I guess, depending on your definition of it, *mainstream* is an insult– or it’s signaling some political meaning to those who know. I just sensed there was something more going on with these three woman who I RARELY see so they can marginalize me all they want. No big deal, just fascinating…

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  65. Hello there. I guess I’d say that the mainstream is pretty broad, and maybe broader than it ever has been. Not all that many people have interests/activities that only a relatively small number of others have. Or maybe I’m wrong about that!

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  66. Yes, I have felt that way before, and it’s not a good feeling. I have no idea what the joke was about, and hopefully they weren’t trying to exclude you purposely. Thank goodness you only see them on a few occasions.

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  67. I’m usually the one making the inside jokes, so I guess that makes me privy to them by default!

    As for the word “mainstream,” I think a lot of people consider it derogatory. Based on the tone of those women, it sounds like “being mainstream” was something to avoid at all costs. But I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing! Like, if you’re kayaking and take a tributary, you’re bound to get lost. I’d definitely stick to the “main stream” then!

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    • Mark, I don’t define *mainstream* as negative either, but I’m learning that some people do. Which I guess in this case meant that one woman was suggesting the other one do something different, creative– not another 9 to 5 cubicle job. It was a peculiar conversation.

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  68. I’m curious what these women do and how mainstream their jobs are. I’ve always taught. That seems mainstream, to me. My husband works in corporate America. That also seems mainstream, probably because that’s what we’ve always done. I think we missed an earlier conversation.

    I haven’t been to any parties recently. I liked crashing yours!

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    • Crystal, I don’t know all the details of these women’s work status. They seem to me to be about as mainstream as can be, if you’re defining *mainstream* as conventional or ordinary. Which means that the quip was meant to suggest do something different, outside the norm. Still not sure if that’s what was going on.

      I haven’t been to a party since before Covid-19 so this was fun, but had its odd moments.

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  69. Ally, I have heard of mainstream, but mostly in regard to publishing—Christian publishing versus mainstream publishing. Christian publishing has its own association (Evangelical Christian Publishers Association) and awards whereas mainstream publishing is everything else—the New York Times bestseller list, the big 5 publishers (and smaller presses), and awards like the National Book Award, the Newbery, the Printz award, and many other awards generated by the American Library Association.

    While I don’t know for sure what those women really meant, I know people who remain within a Christian circle—attending Christian schools or working for Christian schools, the church, or parachurch organizations.

    As for inside jokes, I’m usually out of the loop.

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    • L. Marie, I didn’t know any of this about publishing and it is fascinating. Thanks for explaining. I remember years ago a popular blogger, whose name I’ve forgotten, got a book deal with some Christian publisher, but I never put it together that the publisher wasn’t considered mainstream. I was just amazed she was going to have a book published.

      Excellent observation about people who remain in Christian circles. These women could be in those circles, in which case *mainstream* was perhaps being said ironically, like the inside joke I thought it was.

      Yep, me too about being out of the loop. Not complaining, I like it out here living a loop-free life. 😉

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  70. Like many of the other cool kids here, I’m guessing you were inside joke adjacent. There was probably a previous conversation you were not privy to. As far as whether mainstream has a negative or positive connotation, I’d say much depends on the tone of voice with which it is said, and of course, context. In this case, it doesn’t sound like you had a lot of context. I wish I had a good party story for you, but I don’t. Maybe next time.

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    • Christie, I have to believe these woman were talking about *mainstream* in their own way. I don’t know that it hurt my feelings to be excluded, but it was unexpected. I’m sure you’re right that it all has to do with tone of voice and context, which might have been ironic? I don’t go to many parties anymore, but at least they’re interesting. 😉

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  71. Gah, it really grinds my gears when people laugh about an inside joke to people who aren’t privy to it. It’s so rude!

    I have never heard mainstream used in this context! But I guess, like others have said, it must mean something like “don’t do something ordinary.”

    What an odd experience for you!

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    • Stephany, I agree it was rude to laugh about the inside joke without at least telling me it was a joke.

      They didn’t have to tell me the actual details, just that they were joking around… but they didn’t. However I hold no ill will toward them.

      I’m currently resigned to never using the word *mainstream* again. From what I can tell it confuses more than clarifies.

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    • I agree that the experience is odd: what an odd behavior at a(n adult) party to be exclusionary to a fellow guest!

      As for the term “mainstream” what comes to mind is the paraphrase of Shaw that “great truths begin as blasphemies” and end up mainstream? 😀

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      • EW, I didn’t take great offense at being excluded, but I was aware of it. So it goes, you know?

        I’m not familiar with that Shaw quote, but it fits. I’ll not be using *mainstream* when I speak or write henceforth, it seems like a word that no one knows exactly what it means.

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  72. Sounds like an inside joke, especially if they have an established relationship. Thing is, if they tried to explain what it meant to you, you would still not get it. Inside jokes are never as funny looking from the outside. To me, mainstream can be positive (don’t go way too radical on this side or that side), and also negative (things like gentrification, losing character). But it’s not a word that I use very often.

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    • Gwen, I think you’re right that it was an inside joke and there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have gotten it. These three woman are much more in step with each other than I am with any of them.

      I also agree that depending on the context *mainstream* can be positive or negative. I rarely use the word and after this post there’s a good chance I’ll never use it again! 😉

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  73. This throws me for a loop. I have no idea why that would be funny, definitely sounds like an inside joke.
    Shockingly I was at a great party this weekend. Everyone let loose and very few had their noses in the air so that was refreshing.

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  74. I have no idea what the acquaintances meant by “mainstream” or why it was even funny. Perhaps they don’t like pop music, liberal arts, football or hamburgers and french fries. Perhaps their objective is to never work for a large corporation or big box store. Perhaps they are judging today’s society and “mainstream” means accepting other humans no matter who they are. It’s all a big guess and I wish you had an answer from one of those ladies.

    In the meantime, let’s continue to be free spirits and enjoy whatever fun things life can bring. I’ll be headed to a Halloween party next month, reusing a Viking costume and blonde wig from years past. And I have an axe. It should be fun.

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    • Mary, your ideas about what *mainstream* may have meant are a good as any. Without context it was an odd conversation, weird use of the word, but among those three something had been said.

      I like your planned outfit for the Halloween party. It’s sounds perfect, especially that axe part. Once you have a theme, it’s all about the details. 😊

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