Wherein I Tell The IRS Story My Way

Here’s a glimpse into what my life is like.  

Three lawyers [husband, friend and acquaintance] all listened to me tell this story and all three of them told me I had it wrong.  

Yet I maintain that this is what happened to us, so I’m going to tell this story my way because this is my blog and I’m a pragmatist who says that:

if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it’s a duck.  

• • •

Curious about what happened to us?  Well, here’s how I see it:

  • We received a letter from the IRS telling us they needed information re: one piece of one tax return.
  • We [and by “we” I mean Z-D, obviously] found this piece of information and sent it to the IRS.
  • We received another letter from the IRS saying that they had received the information and that they’d be in touch to tell us what was going to happen next.    

Now people, I am not new to the IRS and their ways.  This is how it all started years ago when we were audited by the IRS.

So I think that you’ll agree with me, A NON-LAWYER, when I say that: we’re being audited by the IRS.  I say this because the definition for the word “audit” is: “an official inspection of accounts.”  [Look it up, boys.]

And what exactly is the IRS asking of us?  Why my goodness gracious,  they want to inspect our account.  Ergo, I say that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then. it’s. a. duck.

* quack, quack *

We’re being audited.

 

Published by

Ally Bean

Observant. Creative. Humorous. Adaptable. Happy enough. Midwestern by chance. Kindhearted most days.

18 thoughts on “Wherein I Tell The IRS Story My Way”

  1. Audits were always my biggest fear. Not so much that I had anything to hide but more that I wouldn’t be able to find the right stuff I needed in the mounds of paperwork!

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    1. kate, good point. Finding fiddly bits of paper is not my strength, either. But doing so means, to me, that we are [were, I’m now told] being audited… because the IRS was inspecting our account. Hence my insistence on calling this process what I did.

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    1. Beth, well if you ever are contacted by the IRS don’t use the word “audit” around lawyers unless the IRS is doing what they refer to as an “audit.” The lawyers all told me that we were being “reviewed” which is a different term. Me? I say that if the IRS comes knocking, then anything that happens next is an “audit.” *quack, quack*

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    1. Zazzy, oh I agree. But all my life I’ve had lawyers telling me that how I’m saying something is not quite right. So this time when I researched my term and discovered that I was using it correctly, I felt the vindicated. It’s the small victories in life, eh?

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    1. la p, YES! That was the crux of my argument, but the lawyer-types got all legal eagle-ly and gave me a hard time with my word choice. As if they don’t have better people to bother than me. 😉

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  2. If you omitted that piece of information from the original return, I wouldn’t necessarily draw that conclusion. If they want additional information about something you already submitted, then possibly.

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    1. Andra, the IRS was requesting more information about something already submitted. Fortunately, Z-D found what they wanted and now all is well. Still, it made for an interesting look at how people use the word “audit.”

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  3. Auditing sounds a bit like impeachment. It’s just a process and not the actual result. (if that makes any sense) I’m glad you’re cleared too; any letters from the IRS send me into an utter panic.

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    1. Margaret, you’re right: auditing is a process. Never thought of that before. I don’t exactly panic when we receive letters, but I do know that whatever they want won’t be simple. And I like simple, so we start the process with me feeling defeated already.

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