Sorry, Not Sorry: The One About 3 Holiday Pet Peeves That Vex Me

/ Ally Bean

It seems to me at this time of year everyone has at least one pet peeve that vexes them. Perhaps you’ve noticed this, too.

Now that we’re officially smack dab into the season of Forced Frivolity Rampant Consumerism  The Holidays, I want to tell you what vexes me the most. You’ll be pleased to know that I’ve narrowed it down to 3 pet peeves, succinctly explained below.

See if they resonate with you, my little fruitcakes, then you may share yours in the comments below. To get you started, but please don’t feel limited by, at the bottom of this post I’ve created a list of possible peeves* that do not bother me but I’ve heard about– oh. yes. I. have.

📷 ONE 📸

IF YOU SEND A HOLIDAY CARD that is a family photo or you put a family photo inside a regular holiday card, please I beg of you, tell the recipients of the holiday card who these people are.  Do not say a vague “Joyeux Noël from the Jones-Beauforts” BUT instead list the individual names of the people + pets in the photo. Do not assume we’ll recognize everyone in the photo.

You do know who they are, right? So why not share that information with the rest of us?

🌲 TWO 🎄 

IF YOU PUT UP A TREE to celebrate Christmas, do not overdecorate it.  Less is more.  There is this design concept known as negative space that, stick with me here, posits that an object is more noticeable and therefore appreciated if there is emptiness around the object.

I’m happy that you’ve invested in twinkling lights & colorful bulbs & tinsel & strands of pretty beads & personally meaningful ornaments, BUT do not cover every stinking inch of every branch on the tree so that all I see, anyone sees, is a big triangular-ish blob of shiny.

I want to see the details of your beautiful decorations, truly I do, so could you make that happen, please?

🍪 THREE 🍬

IF YOU’RE A BAKER OR CANDY MAKER, I ask of you to be forthright about what kind of sweetener you use. Some of us cannot digest artificial sweeteners while others avoid natural sugar at all costs. I don’t care how you sweeten what you make, that is not my concern, BUT for the love of all that is good, be honest about what is in the goodies.

You do understand that you can make someone sick if you lie about it, right?

~ 🔻 ~

~ 🔺 ~

* Here is a list of 10 holiday pet peeves that I’ve heard mentioned emphatically by other people:

  1. Reciprocity regarding the exchange of Holiday cards, obligation or opportunity
  2. Christmas music, yay or nay
  3. Party games that involve gift exchanges
  4. Incorrect use of the letter “s” when addressing a card or gift to an entire family
  5. Location of outdoor holiday decorations, near the house or out in the yard creating possible obstructions/distractions for drivers
  6. Appropriate day on which to take down the holiday tree inside your home
  7. Use of tissue paper or shredded paper inside a gift bag, yay or nay
  8. Hostess gift for an open house party shouldn’t be wine because you only take wine when it’s a dinner party
  9. Holiday newsletters, yay or nay
  10. Bow on holiday wreath goes at the top, the bottom, or the side

PLEASE NOTE: In an attempt to make our home connection to the internet reliable and faster, we’re changing our internet service provider tomorrow [Wednesday], going from coaxial cable to fiber optic cable. Fingers crossed this change goes smoothly, but if not… it’s been great knowing you I’ll see ‘ya when I see ‘ya. 

243 thoughts on “Sorry, Not Sorry: The One About 3 Holiday Pet Peeves That Vex Me”

  1. I love Designing Women. I binged on it as soon as I found it on a streaming service. Bernice wearing her Cmas Tree Skirt is a classic.

    Holiday pet peeves abound with me; I suppose I am just That Way. Among the biggest are those stupid inflatable decorations that people refuse to leave inflated during the day. WE CAN STILL SEE THEM. Instead, they lie there like gigantic used condoms. Trashy.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Nance, I love Designing Women, too. Last summer I watched season one and thought the humor held up. The fashion choices a little less so.

      You and Z-D when it comes to those inflatables. He isn’t keen on them either. I don’t know why people don’t keep them inflated during the day, but you’re right, they look like trash just laying there in a yard.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My personal favorite is putting impossible-to-clean-up-from-the-carpet confetti in each and every Christmas card, so when you take it out and open it, it goes everywhere. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. All of the above? Especially those pictures with people I don’t know. They most likely are distant cousins of husband who I’ve never met yet they send a card and picture every year. I hate all gift exchanges except immediate family. I have tossed out more stuff. Want to give me something? Make it a donation to an animal rescue. Even $5 will be appreciated. Don’t need ‘socksscarvesweirdcandlesstinkysoaps.’ I know you mean well but don’t waste your time and money on me. Ditto on artificial sweeteners. I’ve stopped eating stuff at other people’s houses if there is any chance something will trigger an IBS attack. Believe me you don’t want that to happen at your house! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    • Kate, oh I love you, you know that, right! Your comment is perfect. The unknown people in photos drives me bonkers. Why, if you bothered to send us a picture of people, are you not telling us who they are? Assuming we know them… arrogant much?

      I agree about all the well-intentioned gifts you mention, I don’t want or need them and they go directly to Goodwill or the trash. I have the same issues as you with artificial sweeteners. I cannot ingest them without intestinal distress. 🥴

      Liked by 2 people

        • Yes, there is a lot of cream cheese at this time of year. I’m like you, I don’t gain weight over the holidays because I only nibble on the foods I know won’t make me sick. Like raw veggies or cheese & crackers. The rest of the stuff is suspect in my book. 😒

          Liked by 1 person

  4. I think my pet peeve might be complaining about the Holiday! What’s up, people? It is a time of good cheer!?! Just chill and enjoy the Holidays your way and don’t judge others! People are trying to be nice and festive and we shouldn’t discourage that.
    Hope your Holidays are happy! 🙂

    Liked by 6 people

  5. Nothing vexes me more than certain “holiday” songs …for example, “so this is Christmas and what have you done?” F you, you judgmental doofus. See? I’m usually laid back but nothing makes me change the station quicker. Also, “Santa knows that we’re God’s children that makes everything right”. Really? and the misuse of you and “I” in (I think) the cherry tree song…let alone the truly awful versions of any song. Unless it’s something like Alvin and the Chipmunks, then it’s supposed to be awful so it’s OK! See, you got me started. Time to go stare at colored blinking lights for awhile.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Martha, oh I am laughing out loud here. I hadn’t thought about the implications of the lyrics sung by the judgmental doofus, but now you’ve enlightened me. I don’t think I know the cherry tree song, but then I might have just tuned it out when I’ve heard it. As for Alvin and the Chipmunks– I sing along about the hula hoop. I feel Alvin’s pain.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Designing Women is hilarious. I only watched a few episodes when it was on. Not sure why. “Too busy” as Tim always says.
    I don’t have any pet peeves about the holidays. I don’t care what other people do. “To each their own.” I love the lights at Christmas. So relaxing to just sit and enjoy the tree and other lighted objects. Although having a kitty now is a little challenging!
    As you know, I like all things sweet, so I don’t have to worry about anything.
    Enjoy the season😁

    Liked by 2 people

    • Beth, I didn’t see Designing Women consistently either, like you that was a busy time in my life. I may try to find it online and watch the whole series. A January project?

      You say you don’t have any pet peeves about The Holidays but I’m not buying that. I know you, I bet you do! But you keep on enjoying your lights and good luck with the cat. He’s going to add a new variable of fun to the festivities.

      Like

  7. Thanks for the morning smiles, Ally! I love Designing Women and wondered where it might be streaming. Bernice and the xmas tree skirt is such a fun memory – and you’re right. It holds up! I love Annie Potts most of all…does she age? Her role in Young Sheldon these days…same face! Of all the fun pet peeves you mentioned, I must chime in about ‘negative space’. I have a designer friend…who lives in Atlanta…and she will forever remind me of trippy Designing Women characters. Her complaint about holiday decor is the same as yours. “For the love of God” she laments, “A person’s eyes need to REST!” and then she removes 1/3 of what’s on my tree every year. Will I never learn? xo, Ally Bean! 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    • Victoria, I know that Designing Women is streaming somewhere and I did enjoy it when it was first on. I agree about Annie Potts. I loved her as Mary Jo then, and Sheldon’s mom now.

      I’m with your designer friend about decorating the tree: “A person’s eyes need to REST!” That’s exactly what I’m getting at with my pet peeve. I adore trees and want to appreciate your effort, but too. much. stuff. I’m glad your friend *corrects* your tree for you. Good woman

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Yep about the sweetners used in baked goods – otherwise I’ll have the trots that are not related to anything turkey (dumb attempt at a pun reference) and/or migraine for the rest of that day’s holiday cheer
    🙂
    BUT: Number 8 – wine is fine anytime! just sayin’…

    Liked by 3 people

    • Laura, I like your pun. And I sympathize with you, same problem here. I sometimes sound like the Spanish Inquisition when it comes to anything sweet, because artificial sweeteners aren’t my friends.

      I know that some people have strong opinions about when you take a bottle of wine to a party. Trust me, I’ve heard it all. And woe to she who doesn’t abide by the good manners that those who are against the gift of wine expect you to follow. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve gotten over being peeved at all the wine that shows up at our house during non-dinner parties. It either gets regifted or used in cooking. (Yes, I DID use your $167 Vista Flores Malbec for pot roast. Like Ally, I am NOT sorry.) My biggest peeve currently is going to holiday dinners or potlucks with parents who can’t count. They bring themselves and 3-4 children and one small dish of food. Or nothing. Meanwhile, my husband has made a literal gallon of gravy and another gallon of mashed potatoes, and I’ve brought a pie and 120 cookies. We’ve brought one child. It would be one thing if it were a family in need or something, but when I know their occupations/ list price of the million dollar house they just bought, it just reeks of entitlement. Especially when they don’t even bring a bottle of wine!

    Liked by 5 people

    • AutumnAshbough, I’m with you about the wine. It doesn’t bother me anymore, but I know people who are not pleased when the wine rule of good manners is violated. Just saying…

      As for your entitled parents, I am in shock. I cannot imagine not taking more than your group would eat, offering next to nothing, then expecting other people to take up the slack. That’s incredible and greedy and ill-mannered. Like you said if the family was going through a rough patch, it’d be fine– BUT if you have the money for your fabulous house then spend some of it generously on food for all.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I have a feeling that at some time over my 63 years of life I’ve been peeved by every single one of the things on your list and the alternates as well. On a side note, I recently learned that the over-decorated tree is part of the trend known as *layering*. My dad used to sell Christmas trees from our backyard and we always had the best tree inside for our holiday. Noble firs that defied being overcrowded due to their natural symmetry and shape. I appreciate the tree itself for its beauty. I will always be a tree minimalist Ally Bean.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deb, that approach to decorating a tree is called *layering* huh? Don’t suppose that has anything to do with rampant consumerism, do you? It would explain the preponderance of what I’d describe as overly done trees. I’m with you, I want to appreciate the tree itself and that happens when there is ‘less than more’ regarding lights + baubles. Interesting…

      Liked by 1 person

      • What!! You mean the holiday isn’t all about good will, peace on earth, etc… It’s really about $$$? Sadly the whole concept is to cover up anything that vaguely resembles an actual tree. The shinier and glitzier the better as well. Sigh 😦

        Liked by 1 person

        • HA! I want this time of year to be about good will, peace on earth, and joy BUT I sometimes wonder if I’m alone in this quest. Now that you say it the trees I don’t like are very glitzy, which for me translates into tacky while for some people, that is pretty. I get it… but I don’t have to like it.

          Liked by 1 person

  12. Adverts that start in Sept? Oct? Christmas tunes from every orifice? The rank consumerism and expectation that “everyone has to do it this way” is also very irritating. People should celebrate how they want to without dropping expectations on everyone else. We enjoy one or two great meals, some socialising and a few decorations, but that’s us. We don’t spend much at all. Great post, Ally!

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I’m so with you on that first peeve. How am I expected to know your daughter adopted a Ukrainian orphan who looks nothing like any of your family no matter how hard I try to match noses and ears.
    To be honest, I’m not a fan of those photo cards in general. No personal note, no handwritten signature or greeting. They just strike me as the east way out.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Rivergirl, EXACTLY. I don’t know who most of the people are in the photo, especially when kids grow up, marry, then have kids of their own. I’m not into the photo cards either. Like you I find them impersonal to the nth degree. Yet every year…

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Well, Ms. Bean, my #1 pet peeve is when someone writes THE Holiday Blog Post I would have written (if only I’d thought of it first) and manages to get delightful comments that make me laugh and nod my head in agreement. So annoying. 😀

    #2 ~ People who assume that everyone celebrates the SAME holiday at this holiday infused time of year. I can’t step outside without hearing people pushing their preferred holiday at others with cries of:

    Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Festivus!

    I’m always tempted to respond: What about me? What about my preferred holiday? This year, that’s what I shall do. And here is what I’ll say:

    Happy Winter Solstice! May your days grow longer as the night recedes!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Nancy, oh you flatter me and it makes me smile, oh yes it does.

      Good point about some people assuming we’re all celebrating the same holiday. I figure the Holidays start with Winter Solstice, slide into Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve, New Years Day, then end on the Feast of the Epiphany. Toss in Festivus and Hanukkah where they fit.

      THEREFORE I make no assumption about which particular celebration is yours– and just say an all-encompassing cheerful HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

      Like

  15. I’ve been in both camps about the tree decorations. Oh, how love those well put together, glamourous trees with all the coordinated and perfect decorations. Except when I tried to decorate mine all themed and full of wonderful babbles it was an a big FAIL! Turns out I needed even more stuff to cover the tree!
    Now-a-days, I’m using less ornaments and enjoying the lights on the tree a whole lot more.

    The other stuff on your list except for the confetti in cards, don’t bother me that much. Parking anywhere near a store these days bothers me, and the lines bother me so, I chat to people…I’m always talking to people, and that helps the line wait go faster or less boring anyway.

    I hope you don’t have to deal with very many pet peeves this season, Ally and have a wonderful pet peeve free one!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deborah, I’ve never tried to create a themed Christmas tree. I admire your spunk in attempting one. I’m with you in that I like to see the lights and a few meaningful ornaments, perhaps a few holiday baubles to add some color.

      I’ve only been to Costco lately but we did have to park way back in the lot. It is that time of year so I expect it. When stuck in a checkout line in a retail store I like to look at what people are buying– then try to figure out why. Quietly nosy, you know?

      I wish you pet-peeve-free holiday season too. We can only hope!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Hmmm. I think I’m pretty good about your pet peeves (Phew – I was worried I’d be Offender #1).

    1. While I often will put just our last name on the front of a photocard (as in: Love, The Smiths), I will always include all our names written out on the back. In age order (my husband, then me, then our daughter, then our son). I also always include a family update letter. It is mass produced, but I leave space to write a specific note to each person that receives one and that I also sign with our full names.

    2. I am a less-is-more type of gal. Though the real estate on our tree is shrinking. Each year we all get a new ornament. The thought is each child will have a sentimental little collection to take with them when they leave home and start their own traditions. While most are quite small, still…the math is a bit sobering. I have an 11 and 8 year old…so there are a lot of years of ornaments to come. I know I should stop the adult exchange…but it’s one of my favourite gifts at Christmas. There are a few I’d like to get rid of (sorry hubby – he is SO good at picking out nice ornaments, but a few did miss the mark), but feel like that would be mean. We also put up a small tree in the basement so the less-loved items tend to go here! I don’t do bows or ribbons or tinsel. Just a tree and ornaments (and a topper – purchased for $1 at the DollarStore)!

    3. I always cook with sugar. Never an artificial sweetener. I don’t feel like people generally ask, but if they did I would have no hesitation to admitting I use the real stuff!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Elisabeth, your approach to the family photos you send makes perfect sense to me. Some friends and family do the exact same thing, names and ages on the back. I appreciate it so much. I’m interested in people, but you really do have to tell who you are. I also like getting a newsletter updating me on the latest.

      I can see your impending problem with your approach to holiday ornaments. It’s a lovely idea to start a collection for each child, but there is only so much space on a tree. Two trees seems sensible. We used to do two trees, but once we stopped having big holiday parties at the house we went to a one tree approach.

      I cook with sugar, too. I don’t care if people want to use the artificial stuff, BUT TELL ME. As a few other commenters have mentioned, we get sick from it. And of course diabetics don’t want sugar, so just be clear.

      Like

  17. My tree is probably what you would consider to be over decorated. It’s crammed full and every branch has at least one ornament. But my tree isn’t what I consider to be a decorative item. We add to our ornaments every year and so decorating the tree is a trip down memory lane. I have lots of friends who have very beautiful decorator-style trees, but for me, it’s all about the incredible variety and jumble. I suppose I could get a bigger tree to house them all, but I have a small home.

    I used to get very sad and hurt when I wouldn’t get cards from people I had sent to, but then I realized it’s just not a priority for them. Therefore, I never send cards to people who don’t send them back. I make my list from last year’s “received” list. Would you believe someone said to me “I never got a card from you this year!” and she hadn’t sent me a card in probably five years? Rude.

    I don’t really have any other pet peeves, I like most things related to the holidays, or if I don’t, I can understand why someone else might like them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, I’d think one ornament per branch would look nice. It’s the designer trees that are covered, every square inch, with ornaments and whatever that get on my nerves. Deb above said that approach is called *layering* and is a trend.

      I would believe that someone complained that she hadn’t received a card from you even though she never sent one. It’s like the people who say I never hear from you, when you write a public personal blog that they know about and can look at 365/24/7. Rude people walk among us, attempting to project their guilt onto us.

      I’m pretty mellow about the holidays overall. I don’t get swept up in it, so for me it’s kind of like sitting on the curb and watching the parade go by.

      Like

  18. My pet peeve about Christmas time, or other holiday for that matter, is “That Guy” ( or gal as the case may be ). You know the one I’m talking about. The person who shares his/her experience with everyone to the nth degree, and is quite vocal about it in the process. My tree is bigger, I have more lights, my family does it this way and therefore every family should do the same as it’s obviously the correct and only way to do it.

    And oh, by the way, we have a 16′ tree with 792 lights on it! 😉

    Merry Christmas Ally

    Liked by 2 people

    • Johnny, oh I am loving this observation. Well done. I do know THAT person and you’re right there is always one. The person who wants to tell you how to do everything… their way. Correcting you loudly, with emphasis on how *off* you are with your approach to Christmastime.

      Your tree sounds amazing, btw. Very impressed you know how many lights you have on it. Twinkle on, my friend.

      Like

  19. Well, I suppose that the definition of pet peeve is small vexations over insignificant things? I agree with labeling photos, it’s not that big of a problem but it sure would be nice to know which baby belonged to who.

    As for the rest? I hadn’t thought of the glitter thing. No one has done that to me. That would annoy even me. But so many of the long list are just petty. You do you. Decorate your tree the way you like. Tissue paper or shreds? Whatever. I don’t live where anyone does over-the-top yard decorations. I can see why they’d get annoying if they were blocking traffic sight-lines. And sweetener? Never lie. When I cook for other people I use real sugar and I assume other people do also. Tis the season and I will compensate for the extra sugar. I think my pet peeve is people who think they have to dictate what other people do.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zazzy, it’s the very pettiness and insignificance of pet peeves that make them interesting, an insight into she who is peeved. I have no strong opinions about most of what people do this time of year. I never expect anyone will do things like I do, but man-oh-man do I hear about what bugs other people.

      The glitter thing is a good addition to this list. And while I tend to drive slowly, I do understand why some people despise large decorations and bright lights out in the yard; they can be a dangerous obstacle.

      Your pet peeve of the season is a good one. Like you I tend to let people do what they want, too. I just quietly judge them if they violate my pet peeves. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Designing Women! Oh man, I loved that show.

    I haven’t mailed out Christmas cards in years. That is not something I miss at all. Picture cards with no signature or sentiments irritate me the most. Simply stuffed into an envelope. I have social media, and I know what your family looks like; there’s no need to further pollute the environment.

    We’ve had our tree up since Sunday, and the box of ornaments has been sitting in front of it ever since. I like the beautiful lights. It’s going to be decorated. Eventually.

    Liked by 4 people

  21. We never had a Christmas tree or outdoor ornaments. Being Jewish in America was always pretty interesting during Christmas season. We never celebrated Hannukah either, so no menorah in the window. From a completely objective point of view, I like simple Christmas lights and a lovely simply lit Christmas tree in the window. We never sent holiday cards, so no answers for that. This is a season where I am a complete outsider.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Robin, I can understand why you’d feel like an outsider. Christmas is such a BIG DEAL in this country, and the default is that everyone has family and is celebrating it even though that’s not true. No menorah, though? I do like them and their symbolism. I admit that with hardly any family to speak of, I sometimes feel like an outsider during this time of year, too.

      Like

    • Mthobisi Magagula, I’m amazed that you’re not familiar with the concept of ‘pet peeves.’ They’re just a way to categorize a particular personal vexation. Maybe you know the concept under a different term. 🤷‍♀️

      Like

  23. Well I am all for less is more. I was a graphic designer so this is my mantra. I have simplified my holiday season as follows:
    1. Very few decorations inside. Just a simple less-is-more tree and a few things that can be placed and then put away in less than an hour. After all it is only one day.
    2. No outside decorations. I don’t decorate for my neighbours; and as an environmentalist, I don’t want to burn fossil fuels or purchase a bunch of over-marketed festive outdoor crap to impress them. And really, in the whole scheme of things, does it matter where the bow is on a wreath if you have one.
    3. No paper as I made a bunch of beautiful cloth Christmas bags over thirty years ago that I have been using and reusing ever since.
    4. Very little consumerism as the kids and grandkids prefer cookies and cash. Works for me because all I have to do is bake some shortbread. Sugar, butter and flour. And besides, I hate shopping. They never remembered the gifts I used to buy, but they always remember the shortbread.
    5. Enjoy the music. No matter how much or how little you decorate, the music makes everything festive.
    Call me bitchy if you like, but I truly love and enjoy my simplified stress-free Christmas.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jennifer, hear, hear! I am with you about “simplified stress-free Christmas.” Our tree is up and down within an hour, too. Another advantage of the less is more approach to tree decoration.

      I agree about the festive outdoor crap, but many people adore that stuff and feel no compunction about using electricity to power it all. At least that’s the case around here. We have two small bushes near the front door covered with LED lights + a wreath on the door. EZPZ.

      Cloth bags are ingenious. Kudos. I hate shopping too, so baking some cookies [with sugar] and handing over some $$$ is perfect.

      I like holiday music and have no strong opinions, feeling no need to diss it, but for some people certain songs, or the whole concept, irritates them. And they tell me about it. Go figure

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I’m afraid I become something of a curmudgeon this time of year. I resent the assumption that everybody celebrates Christmas (many, many do not), and the fact that stores are decorated for Christmas in late October and Christmas music is played relentlessly before we even hit December. If I had my way, there would be no decorations or music until December 15, and everything would be packed away by the 31st. After reading this, I fear I will be visited by three ghostly apparitions tonight, wait, what … IT’S STILL NOVEMBER!

    Liked by 3 people

    • Donna, I get your curmudgeon-ness and agree that the idea that everyone celebrates Christmas is a little off, not exactly reality. You speak for many people when you mention how you dislike seeing stores decorated for Christmas as early as October– and of course there is the ubiquitous Holiday music everywhere for about three months. I wish you luck getting our society to limit Christmastime to December 15th through the 31st. While I take your point, I’m not sure that’ll ever happen. Just saying…

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  25. I could not fit our names on the front of the card this year, but their are no new people ie grandkids, etc. I do include pics on the back with corresponding names. I also write a poem recapping our year and stuff it in 99% of the cards – most of it is entertaining stuff, like “we visited this resort with my side as planned, Mini and her cousin Kay went off in kayaks but should’ve stayed on dry land.” There’s also a line about Reg having to quarantine alone in the basment on his 16th bday and how that wasn’t very sweet, but how the rest of us embraced the break from the smell of his stinky feet. (I’m parapharasing). “Ed enjoys cooking since he studied abroad, but since he had food poisoning in the fall we wonder if his skills are flawed.”

    I don’t really post on Facebook so this is my way to keep people in the loop. I don’t tend to brag but to poke fun at our goofiness and share our adventures. I add more photos to the margins. Many people gush about my poem and about how it doesn’t feel like Christmas until it arrives. Coach doesn’t buy it. He figures most people find it too long. I send it to people who’ve been on our list for a long time. I feel like some people don’t do cards – especially elderly people. I also know people who are overwhelmed by the holidays and they just don’t do cards. I usually include a line about feeling free to unsubscribe to my poem if they prefer.

    My pet peeve relates to the poem . . . my sister has sneered about my poem in the past. A SIL referenced something in the poem one year. My sister was confused, and then admitted that she didn’t read it. She went on to say she saw no reason to send it, too long, etc. I know many people who save it for later and admit they take the time to read it later. I also totally accept that not everyone reads it, but my sister is just flat out unkind and rude.

    Also, we decided not to exchange gifts between siblings years ago but my sister was ticked. So now, my two sisters buy each other VERY nice gifts and exchange them at Christmas while we all watch. I guess my biggest pet peeve is the way family members behave badly, which includes the time I offered to bring a dessert my mom usually makes in a GF version because of my celiac disease. My mom said no – she’d still make it with gluten because she didn’t want it to taste funny. Coach’s side of the family always goes out of their way to have food options for me. My family doesn’t really bother. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ernie, I don’t care where the names of the people in the photo are, that is whether they are on the front or on the back or in the newsletter, just tell me. I’m not on FB, so please keep me informed– and it sounds like you do just that. Good on you.

      As for your poem I love it. I love the rhymes and the cleverness and the silliness it embodies. I think it is EXTREMELY RUDE of your sister to not read it, if not upon receipt at least sometime later. I’d be pissed by that admission/situation, too.

      We no longer exchange gifts with any of Z-D’s family but I think his sisters do so between themselves. I never have thought much about it, one way or another. I don’t expect to be included, and I’m not, so I shrug. But I’m sorry it bothers you.

      As for food options… well, people can be unkind about that. I’ve learned that it’s best to eat something at home before going anywhere, then just nosh on what you can eat. I had a friend [using the term loosely] who knew I couldn’t digest artificial sweeteners, then served a dessert saying it was made with sugar. It wasn’t, I got sick. She then admitted she didn’t believe me when I told her this was a problem b/c she thought I was making it up for attention.

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      • That ‘friend’ – how nuts was she? Also, sorry for writing a full post vs just a comment. 😉 I don’t really care that my sisters exchange gifts – it’s just their approach. Even when we all exchanged, they would buy one another more extravagant gifts while giving the rest of us gifts that required less thought. Back in the day, I never would’ve thought that I’d enjoy Coach’s family more. I no longer drink the lemonade, I guess.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, I don’t know about that friend… who I haven’t seen or talked to in years. She was always a little selfish & peculiar. I understand about your sisters approach. It seems uneven. Thank goodness for Coach’s family.

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  26. Ever since we’ve stopped making Christmas such a “thing” I have to say I find myself less and less peeved. No names on the holiday card? I’ll probably never meet those people unnamed people anyway (and, if I did, I would have forgotten their names). Too many decorations on the tree? I’m glad that I’m not the one that has to put it up or take it down. Mystery ingredients in Christmas goodies? I’m grateful not to be vexed by food allergies. As long as you have a clean kitchen and sanitary baking habits, bring them on!

    This is not to say that I look at everything with rose-colored glasses. I have plenty of peeves… I just don’t care that much about this particular holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. I love, love, love Designing Women! That is a classic episode; oh, that Bernice.

    I don’t have too many pet peeves, but I would like to know who is in the photo.
    BTW: I love getting pictures from people I don’t hear from but once a year…I feel like that, and an update keeps us connected.
    However, those tacky blow-up things in the yard look so out of placeto me, but whatever floats one person’s Christmas boat might not float mine.

    Signed, Suzanne Sugarbaker

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suz, thanks Suzanne Sugarbaker for leaving a comment here. It’s an honor to be noticed by the likes of you.

      I enjoy getting family photos, too. I just want to know who is in them. Kids change, grow up and marry, have kids of their own. ‘Fess up people, tell who I’m seeing.

      I don’t much care one way or the other about those inflatable things, but they do look sad when they’re not inflated. And sad seems like the opposite of peace on earth, goodwill toward men.

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  28. I do a sort of letter/card with photos and just of my immediate family and John. I mostly eat the treats I make and no one else’s so I should be safe. Real sugar all the way! (plus lots of butter) I don’t mind most Xmas music but not in July and not some of those suggestive, cheesy ones like Santa Baby. I get a small tree and put as many meaningful and non-breakable decorations as I can. It may look a little junky to others but to me, it’s a tree full of love. That my cat can’t destroy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, every year we receive these photo cards and they are about as impersonal as the color beige. I don’t know why these people bother to send them if they have no intention of sharing their family.

      I’d forgotten about Santa Baby. Yep, not a fan of that song, too. I imagine your tree is perfect. It’s the trend toward *layering* that bugs me. [Deb told me what was going on, btw.]

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  29. I never thought to be peeved by your #1, but I will add it to my list. I agree wholeheartedly that we need NAMES, people!

    The incorrect pluralization of last names bugs me too.

    But my main peeve is that the ease and speed of shipping means many family members simply mail gifts… and then expect me to wrap them. I hate wrapping and I have enough of my own gifts to wrap thank you very much. (I suppose I could just put naked boxes under the tree, but that offends my own sensibilities, so I guess this is a Self Peeve as well.)

    Good luck with the new internet option!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, I figure that if we’re getting a photo card from you, you care about us. So why not tell us who is in the photo– especially when kids get older and have kids of their own. I mean, who are you people?

      Well that’s just wrong that family members expect you to wrap their gifts. You can appreciate that they sent a gift, but it seems lame to not do it right by wrapping or bagging the gifts themselves. I share your peeve.

      Fingers crossed about the new internet connection. This last month our coaxial cable connection has been lousy.

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  30. Christmas songs immediately after Halloween is my pet peeve. Give Thanksgiving a chance. I feel that way too about the inflated/deflated decorations but I understand that it probably costs a lot of money to have them inflated 24/7 for a month. I have some ornaments that I made when I first moved out of my parents house into my own apartment so they are about 45 years old now and I do like to make sure they are visible. Besides, I’m usually the one decorating and un-decorating the tree so I make it as easy on myself as possible.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Janet, well said: Give Thanksgiving a chance. I agree, but every year it seems to be lost more in the shuffle toward Christmas.

      I don’t know how much it costs to inflate those large inflatables, but I bet you’re right that it’s a lot hence the downtime.

      I love that you have some handmade ornaments that you made 45 years ago. It’s a lovely way to make your tree special. I hear you about doing up the tree. The less on it, the easier it is to be put away.

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  31. Oh my goodness, me howling over your last line. I hope the switch to fiber optic goes well. And I love #1 – “You do know who they are, right? So why not share that information with the rest of us?”

    Trying to make this comment short so you can reply before you are cutoff from the world forever… 🙂 Good luck!

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    • Wynne, it’s not like I’m a Negative Nellie, but in my experience whenever we make a major change to our house’s infrastructure, something unexpected OUTSIDE MY CONTROL goes wrong. So I thought I’d better alert everyone to what’s going on here.

      Also, how difficult is it to tell me the names of the people in the photo? I get exasperated just typing that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Colleen, EXACTLY. I want to know what your kids, your grandkids, look like and I may know a few names/ages [sort of] BUT it’s wonderful to have all the deets on the photo or in a newsletter. Is it asking too much? Maybe for some people it is…

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  33. Let me ask you this? Why mention your pet peeves? Their yours. Either learn to live with them or learn to live without them. The world has enough real problems.

    Liked by 1 person

    • 9erick, excellent question. I asked myself the same question before I wrote this. And here’s what I decided, I mention my pet peeves because this is a lighthearted weblog and because it’s interesting to talk about personal preferences. I mean, you said it: “the world has enough real problems” thus I share a few irritations that allow people to vent about the small things that bother them, too. It’s mental health therapy, a way to connect without rancor about the big issues facing us.

      Liked by 2 people

  34. I can remember when I anticipated going down town to the big stores to see the decorations the day after Thanksgiving. It was magical. This business of starting in September just makes it all about the money. I do a preprinted card with artwork because there’s no way I could sit and write them all these days. I used to send out boxes, but now I normally don’t use all of 20 in one box. I like to send to special family or friends but acknowledge that almost no one is sending them anymore. Just log on to Instagram or FB, and shout a holiday greeting seems to be the way it is done today. My grandson has severe food allergies, and I always look at the food and wonder what’s in it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy, I remember when I was a girl that we’d go into the nearest big city in December to shop & look at Christmas decorations in the department store windows. You’re right it was magical.

      I send fewer cards each year, too. I’m not on FB so if people are doing that instead of an actual card, I’m missing out. I need to keep a closer eye on what’s going on IG, now that you mention it. Staying in touch with friends and family ain’t what it used to be.

      Yep, about food. I’m always on guard about ingredients. It makes eating out more tedious than I’d like.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Lynette, we’ve been having internet problems here as well, so who knows where your comment went. Thanks for checking back and trying again. I can’t say that I’m dwelling on my pet peeves, but I do realize I’m not alone feeling vexed which makes me feel good.

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  36. Others have commented on the music (Donna especially echoes my thoughts), so I’ll just reaffirm that it’s disheartening to hear so much Christmas music before December. Already the radio stations are ruining my love of Nat King Cole! – Marty

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    • Marty, oh that is sad. No one should have their love of Nat King Cole taken away from them. BUT I do understand what you’re saying. I wonder how many people don’t even bother listening to Christmas music anymore? We seem steeped in it before it’s even time to think about it. 🫤

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  37. We put our tree up super early because a grandson was available to help. I even started addressing Christmas cards in NOVEMBER, something I never do. Please know this is a diversionary tactic to refrain from the endless editing of my manuscript.

    Favorite thing: The Designing Women clip.
    Bah Humbug, Ally! :-/

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    • Marian, when it comes to putting up and taking down trees you have to go with what works for you. Ours is up because we had time on Sunday, so up it went. I don’t send many cards anymore, receive even fewer. I can understand why addressing cards is better than editing, editing, editing.

      The Designing Women clip with Bernice makes me smile just thinking about it… “you little fruitcake.”

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Wow!!! You have really struck a nerve here, Ally. People seem to have a LOT of holiday pet peeves. Let me tell you about mine…

    So, I love a good rousing chorus of “It’s Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas” as much as the next person. But in December, not right after Halloween!!! 10 days before Christmas to play holiday music on the radio is plenty. More than plenty.

    More than incorrect usage of an “s” to denote plural last names (our last name is Hess; it’s tricky), my pet peeve is the extravagant use of unneeded apostrophes.

    Thanks for the opportunity to vent about the little things in a lighthearted way. You have done your community service for the week!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laurie, many people have told me here, and elsewhere, how much they dislike endless Christmas music. It starts too early and is everywhere– plus it’s repetitive. It’s like a station or channel knows 12 songs so they play them over and over again in the same order. That’s just lazy.

      You’re right about the extravagant use of unneeded apostrophes. That seems to be happening everywhere. I like apostrophes, of course, but prefer a judicious use of them.

      Yep, this is my community service for the week. Tell me your pet peeves and I’ll nod along with you, making you feel understood and accepted. Well, I will as long as I still have internet service…

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  39. I hear you on the first one. One of Mom’s sisters has about 50 grandchildren (I exaggerate only slightly) and their annual card always has a picture of all of them with Nana and Bapa, and I have no idea who any of them are. She also includes a letter…

    I had a friend (now sadly deceased) who used to include, for lack of a better term, glitter in her cards, and it would get all over the place when you pulled the card out of the envelope.

    Personally, I like the holidays, especially siting at home and watching them go on around me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • John, it’d bother me to see that many faces, all related to you presumably, then not know who they were. I don’t know why people don’t automatically tell you who is in the photos.

      I hadn’t thought of the glitter thing with cards, but a few commenters have mentioned it. I don’t like to clean up messes– especially shiny ones.

      Your last sentence is a delight. I’ve been known to say that my job is to sit on the curb and clap as the parade goes by. Similar idea

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  40. I can’t believe I’m unbothered by these. Maybe I’m getting Zen in my older age. I’ve never seen a photo card that doesn’t list everyone’s name. I’m okay with over decorated trees unless they have that awful 1970’s tinsel. And I assume if it’s a baked good, it’s unhealthy for me 🤣

    My only pet peeve is the Christmas music. A month of it is too much. I can only take a few days of it and prefer A Barenaked Christmas by Barenaked Ladies which includes fun Hanukkah songs. And I hate a white Christmas. I’ve always told my husband I’d be fine with decorating a cactus at Xmas, but he hasn’t taken the hint.

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    • Bijoux, I seem to only get photo cards that don’t tell me who is who. It’s infuriating because I’d like to know. I remember that tinsel, it got everywhere in your house and inside, then out of, your pet.

      Many people dislike Christmas music. You’re not alone in that one. I’d like to see you decorate a cactus at Christmas. One year at Christmastime we were in Albuquerque/Santa Fe and the decorations were wonderful. All cactuses were fair game. Very cute

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    • Lies Jack Kerouac told Me, that’s a unique pet peeve this is very much in keeping with the ‘pet’ part of peeving. It’s always something, especially at this time of year.

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  42. The Salvation Army bell ringers. For starters, the name: those guys don’t march into war — they accost you outside the grocery store when your arms are full of bags and you’re in a hurry to get to your car because it’s 10 below zero, the wind is blowing something fierce, and it’s going to start snowing in another 15 seconds. Maybe that could all be excused, but their anti-LGBTQ policies cannot. I’m either avoiding eye contact at all costs, faking a phone call, or hiding behind another large group of shoppers exiting the store until I make it to the safe anonymity of the parking lot.

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  43. Wowsa. I guess I just don’t care about a lot of stuff. That could be taken as either a good thing or a bad thing. I’d heard of most of those peeves, but the one about the bow befuddles me. Oh, I do have a vote on one: most Christmas carols annoy the heck out of me. Just, blah. It simply isn’t appealing music to me. Is that wrong? It feels a little wrong, but I’ll live with it.

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  44. I notice and absolutely judge 4, but it wouldn’t land in pet peeve category. And I didn’t even know about 8 (and am quite sure I’ve broken that societal nicety).

    I have very strict rules (traditions?) for myself this time of year, but they’re for me.

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    • Katie, 4 is one of those peeves I hear many people, often English majors, talk about. It’s not how you do the plural and that bugs them/you. I understand. As for 8 I was raised with that one, but don’t care if people abide by it. However, it does offend some women I know. 🤷‍♀️

      Having your own rules is great. Probably keeps you sane in December.

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  45. Good ones, Ally. The peeve about the overdecorated tree is a good one. How can we enjoy the tree when it looks like a giant mish-mash thrown together?

    I’ve never seen that clip, but that was hilarious. Misunderstanding the purpose of Christmas tree skirts and not knowing the people who inspected our underwear are laugh-out-loud moments.

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    • Pete, I know that how you decorate your tree is your own business, but when I see one with too much stuff on it [in my estimation] I don’t like it.

      The Designing Women clip with Bernice is a classic. I think of it every year about this time. The entire show was great, the humor is timeless.

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  46. Yay! I pass the Ally Test for pet peeves 1 and 2. Number 3? Not sure. I’ve certainly never LIED about what the sweetener is, but I don’t think I’ve ever been asked. So I think I’m good on that one, too. Had to laugh at what OTHER people have as pet peeves. For some I was like, “Really? THAT little thing bothers you?” (Like where the bow goes on a wreath. Who gives a sh*t?!) But I guess that’s what makes a pet peeve a pet peeve. It’s irrational. I, for one, hate pens that are missing their caps. That’s my pet peeve. Good luck with your tech switcheroo!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Travel Architect, I hadn’t thought of my pet peeves as being a test, but now that you mention it, you’re kind of right. I know what you mean about other people’s pet peeves, I am the same way. I’m saying to myself “really” and nodding my head in an affirmative way, wanting someone to feel understood not because I share the peeve. I don’t know that we have any pens that have caps, but if we did I would prefer that the caps be on the pens. I get that.

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  47. Since we switched to fiber our internet experience is so much nicer!

    I agree about the tree (the eye DOES need to rest) and that goes for gardening and decorating too. More is not always better.

    My holiday pet peeves are wreaths (and/or other decorations) and lights. As far the wreath, I don’t care where you put the bow or if it even has/doesn’t have a bow. My complaint is that a lot of people do not account for scale. Say you have this giant window and you put the smallest possible wreath smack in the middle – that looks ridiculous. Get a wreath that fits the scale.

    As far as lights go – I don’t care if they are color or white. But if you are going to have lights that blink – figure out how to make them blink in sequence. This is why my lights don’t blink; because I don’t have the patience to figure that out and I would lose my mind if it weren’t “ordered” blinking.

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    • Gigi, I’m encouraged by your experience with fiber optic. Our service now is slow and has been spotty this last month.

      EXCELLENT point about the scale of your wreath and the size of your window or door. I see ones that are too small and ones that are too large. It looks goofy.

      We used to have fancy blinking lights that we put on the bushes in front of the house. Getting those six strands to blink in a sequence AND to be the same colors was difficult. In fact after last Christmastime we gave them to Goodwill. This year we have two strands of plain white non-blinking lights– and love them.

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  48. Gift obligation, the number one reason I stopped doing Christmas at my Dad’s Widows house,I hated having to get gifts for her adult children that I had absolutely no connection to.

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  49. Well, I’m late to this party, so I’m sure anything worth saying has already been said. Thus, I’ll just add a resounding amen to #2 (the decorations). Less is more, people! 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • An Audience of One, many commenters have liked the idea of less is more when it comes to decorating the tree. I adore trees and like ornaments, but this trend toward *layering* them with all the stuff makes my eyes cross.

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  50. Honest to goodness, by the time I made it through your comments, I was so depressed I could hardly stand it. So much fussing over trivialities. I love Christmas, and I love Advent as a time of preparation for the celebrations. Every card I get is a gift, even those with glitter, and every gift is a treasure.

    Anyhow: in the spirit of things, I spent the day trying to figure out what might vex me during this season, and I finally got it: those stupid commercials set to traditional Christmas music. The last one I heard involved dog treats set to “Joy to the World” or some such. When one of those comes on the radio, I turn it off. Nobody messes with my Christmas carols!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, I’m sorry you find this depressing. I rather thought this was a fun post with insightful comments. People are venting, people are sharing in a safe space. Maybe I’m too jaded, but it seems good to me to talk about the small things around the holidays that bug you.

      I know what you mean about traditional Christmas carols used in silly commercials with lyrics that are more contrived than clever. I do like the Hershey’s TV commercial with the kisses as handbells playing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” That one makes me smile every time, but it’s about the only one I can think of that seems in the spirit of the season.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ah, don’t worry about it. I know where the roots of my initial reaction lie — just think of it as my own kind of venting. If you translate ‘depressed’ into ‘terminally envious’ and you might get a better sense of my feeling. During the holiday season, those of us without family, spouses, and children sometimes can feel a little bah-humbugish.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I understand that. I have no family left that take any notice of me, so while everyone is running around talking about family squabbles & burdens I think about how lucky they are to have any family to care about and who cares about them. It’s a different perspective on Christmas, isn’t it?

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  51. You are right about holiday pet peeves, Ally. A little chuckle around here about your #2. I had my 5 very young grandchildren decorating our tree this past Friday (the only day we could get them together, therefore a bit early…in case this is someone’s pet peeve…although, I don’t care if others are judgy…I digress…) and almost all of the ornaments are placed in the bottom third of our tree. A great deal of flexibility around here regarding the Christmas season over the years. Thank you for my smiles.

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    • Erica/Erika, I’m laughing out loud at how your tree, or more accurately where your tree, is decorated. Of course that’s where the ornaments are! What a delightful thing to see.

      You’re right, of course, someone’s pet peeve will be putting up your tree too early– and you’ve done the wrong thing. Oh I do love talking about these holiday pet peeves, everyone has them, none of them really matter, but we carry on with them anyhow. People do what people do.

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  53. This is funny because I’ve never even considered any of the pet peeves you listed but yes, makes total sense. I don’t have Christmas decorations at home but you’re right, when I look at a tree, I want to be able to appreciate the different elements not see a tree that looks like Christmas threw up on it LOL

    I don’t think I have any pet peeves but I really dislike the saying, “Wishing you a Merry Christmas, from our family to yours.” Maybe it’s because I’m extra sensitive but I know not everyone has a family or a happy family situation and I was single for a long time so when I got those cards it made me feel lonelier than I had already been feeling during the holidays… So I typically stay away from that verbage.

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    • Jenn, I’ll admit that I’ve never thought a second thing about any of those 10 peeves listed, but people mention them to me. And when people talk, I blog about it.

      Thank you for your sensitivity about those “from our family to yours” words. I understand how they can make a person feel lonely, especially if you’re estranged from the family you have. The ones that are *supposed* to include you, but don’t. I’m familiar with that dynamic. 🙄

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  54. I love Christmas and once I get over this cold, the decorations are going up. I can’t think of any huge dislikes although crap that falls out of cards is a pretty big one. I don’t appreciate massive amounts of lights left on late into the night or really loud music. I’m not a fan of giant inflatable ps but they don’t annoy me. Christmas letters that go from updating to sounding like bragging are also annoying.

    But mostly I just love the season: Advent, church, glorious carols and old Christmas songs, getting gifts for people, family together, celebration food, spreading the love brought to earth by the Baby. ❤️

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    • Janet, the peeves you mention are pretty much all the ones that most of the commenters here have said. We have two small strands of lights on two bushes out front and they are bright. My point is that the neighbors with massive amounts of lights that make their yards look like airport runways, baffle me. How do they sleep at night with all that outside light flooding into the house?

      I like this time of year, too, when the emphasis is on joy and good will and love and relaxed meals laughing with friends + family. Some of the rest of it I could do without, but wouldn’t stop people from doing their own things. I’ll just keep my peeves to myself around them. 😉

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  55. Scrolling through the comments I realized that I do have one hate…Christmas starting before Thanksgiving!!! It’s bad enough that retail does it but please, no decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. Put up lights if you must but don’t turn them on. Please. 😆

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  56. Loved the video clip! I never watched the show, but it was probably good.

    We’re rather removed from holiday stuff in general, so hard to find anything to be peeved about. Too many catalogs in the mailbox? Getting begging emails from charities as soon as the election begging ended?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene, Designing Women was funny with pointed commentary about wealth and men and good manners. It’s available on some streaming service now. I watched season one last summer and thought it held up, except for the hair + clothes.

      Those are two good pet peeves. We get too many unwanted catalogues, also. We’ve tried to get them to stop, but it’s to no avail. We get snail mail charity requests but none via email. I wonder why that is…?

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  57. “My little fruitcakes” HAHAHA! I must be feeling mellow tonight as none of those things bother me. My biggest pet peeve are those big blow up lawn ornaments – I find them so tacky – they look horrible inflated and even worse deflated. Other than that, I think you can never have too many Christmas decorations.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Joni, many commenters have mentioned how they dislike the large inflatables. I don’t know much about the things, but they must cost something significant to buy and keep inflated. The “fruitcake” line that Suzanne calls Bernice is one of my Christmas favorites. Everyone’s a fruitcake this time of year.

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  58. I guess my pet peeve about the holidays is the consumerism. Thankfully we now only exchange gifts with the family members who are here for Christmas day and everyone is on board with the “one inexpensive small gift” idea. In the past some were obsessed with Black Friday and then Thanksgiving dinner started being ruined by preparations and early departures for the endless Black Friday lines. One year they even took tents for protection from the rain. I never participated in that and sat home fuming in the middle of their living room littered with newspaper ad flyers …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, oh my, that is one devoted group of shoppers you have there who would take tents to wait on Black Friday deals. That’s definitely an example of consumerism gone wild. We don’t exchange gifts with any family members or friends anymore. We came to the conclusion that no one needed anything and that spending time together, usually going out to eat, was the best holiday gift. Sounds like your family is heading that way, too.

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  59. No doubt the Peeve list got bigger with the 162 thoughts before mine, Ally, but I’ll add one more. “Christmas” starts after Thanksgiving, not after Halloween. Sure, the retailers keep backing up their holiday transitions until it feels like half the year is Christmas but I say give each holiday its due. The way Halloween is blowing up these days Thanksgiving sometimes feels lost in between, yet it may be the most meaningful holiday of all three.

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    • Dave, agreed. I know I first saw Christmas merchandise for sale in early October, but most of it showed up after Halloween. I think the message of Thanksgiving is as timeless as the message of Christmas, so why not give each their due? Oh yes, I know, it’s called rampant consumerism. 😒

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  61. I struggled to come up with a Christmas peeve, because I am the very epitome of Christmas mad. I spend far more time & energy thinking about all things Christmassy than any person should – I admit this openly. But I managed to think of one: “The Little Boy that Santa Claus forgot” – as a single parent, I boil inside at the line that suggests he’ll go without presents as he has no Daddy. My rational self knows it’s from a time when men were the earners, but grrrrrr.

    Otherwise, my minor peeve is that when my wooden tree broke two years ago just after I’d got the lights on, Himself rushed out and bought me a small fake one. It was a LOVELY thought, but I’d already put together an alternative festive arrangement and was planning which small fake tree I’d buy in the January sales at the posh expensive tree shop. Sigh. And you know this one will last forever…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, so you’re all about Christmas, huh? I’m not familiar with that line from a song? poem? tv movie? I understand your resentment, though. It does rankle.

      Yes, I have no doubt that the tree you do not prefer will have the half-life of uranium while the one you adore will last as long as banana. Ain’t that the way!

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  62. It’s this song (and I adore Nat King Cole, so it especially rankles):

    And thank you for understanding about the tree. The half-life or uranium for sure. Mind you, may I swap your banana for a lettuce? Over here, we use that as a yardstick for how long a Prime Minister may last 😉

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  63. I am a baker and love making Christmas baking. I can’t imagine ruining my baking with artificial sweetener! Who does that!? Also, if I bring a bottle of wine as a gift and their offended because it’s not a dinner party, I’ll take my bottle and go home 😊

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    • Maggie, I’m with you. I bake and use sugar or maple syrup or honey, the real stuff, BUT some people like to use the artificial sweeteners or buy baked goods with them in it. I like your attitude about the bottle of wine. I hasten to add that I’m always grateful for a bottle of wine, but I know that it used to be considered bad manners to take one as a hostess gift.

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  64. I’m not sure if your #4 on the supplementally list refers to this one, but if it does, I’m glad I found someone to share my non-holiday-specific pet peeve: apostrophes appearing where they have no business showing up… If one hangs up decorations on a tree it’s NOT decoration’s. These are pet peeves not pet peeve’s. When did this apostrophe craze start? 🤔

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    • Ann, your tree sounds pretty. I love ornaments with meaning. Apparently what I’m not liking is a tree-decorating trend that is called “layering” and is all the rage. A few commenters have explained this to me, so now I know what my pet peeve really is all about.

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      • I’ve never heard of layering a tree, but it doesn’t sound like something I’d like. I’m not a fan of those huge ribbons and bows some people put on either, for the reason you stated: you can’t even see the tree!

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        • I think layering involves those ribbons and bows and putting multiple ornaments on every branch of the tree until you can no longer discern it’s a tree. It’s a trend I’m told. It’s not for me, but for those who think it’s pretty have it. I’ll just quietly judge you from afar. 😁

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  66. “Fingers crossed this change goes smoothly, but if not… it’s been great knowing you I’ll see ‘ya when I see ‘ya.”…Ally, lol. You should be commended for your courage in taking this on. My hope is that you’ll have a seamless transition, but that would probably be a first for the communications industry. 🙂 We always put up a real tree, and we also always make sure to just put a reasonable number of lights on along with our favorite ornaments…so of course, we can actually see and enjoy them. I’ve seen some trees where the people put so much on them you can’t see anything but that glowing blob you speak of. 🎄

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    • Bruce, I take your point about the communications industry. The transfer is in process and so far it’s been a bit, shall we say, uneven. Still this could work out, once the many technicians figure out how to connect the outside to the inside.

      I’m pleased to know that you are aware of negative space. I realize that everyone has their favorite ornaments which is why I like to see them. However… some trees… have too much going on. Just saying

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  67. We started the photo Christmas card bit when we moved 5 years ago. Now, instead of watching the kids grow up, everyone gets to watch us grow old, LOL. However, I do put our names in addition to our family name.

    A cousin sent pictures of her kids every Christmas. Just the kids, no names on the photos. I always dutifully put the photos on the fridge with others. My sons now refer to those cousins they’ve never met as The Fridge Kids.

    I am not a fan of Christmas newsletters – sending or receiving.

    After our move one of our neighbors (an elderly woman) marched to our house and proceeded to knock and ring the doorbell until I answered. This went on for several minutes since I was on the toilet when she arrived.🙄 She then complained about how we were never home (excuse us for being gainfully employed) and explained how *everyone* in the neighborhood exchanges cookies at Christmas and that we would be expected to do our part. Now, I’m a reluctant baker at best and don’t appreciate being told what to do at any time. I did bake a few cookies “just in case” but… we never received cookies from anyone else nor did we deliver cookies to anyone else.🙄🙄🙄 I also haven’t baked cookies since.

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    • Linda, best line of the day: “everyone gets to watch us grow old”. I love this because that’s exactly the right way to age. I also love the idea of Fridge Kids. I have a cousin who does that with the photos, although I don’t put the photo on the fridge.

      What a weird neighbor. I mean what gives her the right to tell you to do something! I find that odd. I’m glad you were prepared just in case, but really… why should you have been? People are weird.

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  68. I really don’t much have peeves about the holidays, other than stores putting out Christmas stuff in October. I’m grateful for the few people who send me cards/newsletters/etc. even though I don’t reciprocate. They are true friends, and I know their names. I don’t do holiday parties, so that eliminates most of the possible peeves right there. My gift list is getting smaller every year, and the few that remain tend to be things I don’t buy in a store. I love whatever lights others want to put on their homes–I’m glad for the lights on these dark nights. I’m glad I don’t feel the need to put out a whole lot of my own. I’m with you on tree decoration, and certainly have my preferences, but whatever floats someone’s boat is fine with me. I don’t have to live with it. I just wish I’d been at this place about 30 years ago. It’s nice to finally be mostly at peace with this time that is not, in so many ways, the most wonderful of the year.

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    • Rita, I’m smiling about your last sentence. I agree about that. While many people go on about this being the most wonderful time of the year my experiences have suggested otherwise. I try not to be a dark cloud and do my best to carry on cheerfully, but there’s a certain vibe to this time of year that gives me pause. I see nothing wrong with having a few pet peeves, sharing them here, then seeing who else understands. I don’t expect anyone to care about my peeves, which is my entire take on the Holidays. For those who find them wonderful, yay! But for the rest of us, this time of year can be a little annoying.

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      • I hear ya. Being at peace this time of the year is something I have to actively work at. I’ve found that the more I can shrink it, the better I do. I hope you get through it with as little annoyance as possible. Here’s to January! 🙂

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        • I like your idea of shrinking the holiday and I believe that is what we’ve been doing over the last five years or so. Yep, I want to be at peace, so I shall intentionally make it so. Can’t wait for January.

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  69. Yep, it’s Christmas time again. Totally with you on the please add the names of people/pets on cards (We are really not planning on game show type guessing on those at this point)
    Laughed over the tree trimming suggestion for a classic instead of the current tree overload gaudy look. We solved that problem by having a second tree finally…we don’t always put up both – and each tree has specific ornament boxes so we don’t get tempted to just toss all the ornaments on.
    When I was little, Dad and I went after the family tree – and he always insisted on one that had space between sweeping branches instead of the thick pyramid shape bushy ones – he like to have the ornaments hang and swing with space around them so you could see each one. Mom always snarked he just bough cheaper trees, but I think his reasoning is sound: classic and able to appreciate the treasures.

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    • Philmouse, it’s a mixed message to send a photo of your family, but not tell the recipient who’s in the photo. Are we friends OR are we just another name on your list that you can now cross off having fulfilled some obligation to stay in touch? At least that’s how I interpret it.

      I like your story of getting a live tree with your dad. I’m with you in that I think he was onto something with his approach. I also like your distinction between a classic tree versus the overloaded gaudy look. You know which one I prefer, because like your dad, I want to see each ornament or bulb or whatever you’re hanging on your tree. HOWEVER not everyone shares my preference… 🙄

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  70. I agree with all your pet peeves Ally. I hate the form Christmas letters – at least if you’re going to print them out, take a minute to put Dear ____ and make it a little personalized, rather than the litany of things done this year. I have not put up a tree or decorated throughout the house in about 15 years. I used to spend the day after Thanksgiving doing this every year and tearing it all down on New Year’s Day. With a small house, with lots of country knickknacks around to begin with, items had to be tucked away to make room for Christmas items. This year I’ll send a couple of cards – that is all. I don’t get that many cards anyway. Christmas is pretty quiet for me as I have no family and I don’t exchange presents with anyone, nor do I get any. I’ve not exchanged presents with my boss since I last worked on site and I’ve not seen him in person for a decade now. I do miss the holiday treats from when I worked on site and everyone brought in extras of cookies, bars and candy to share.

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    • Linda, I understand your approach to Christmastime. I don’t know if I’d decorate just for myself knowing I’d have to move stuff hither and yon, then back to yon and hither. Some years Z-D and I have bought a poinsettia and that’s it. All done decorating. We no longer exchange gifts with anyone, thus we don’t receive any– unless there’s a business angle to them. Z-D always got stuff because of business dealings, but I doubt that’ll happen this year. I’m not much for sweets, but I get your point about missing the goodies. Especially if you happen to work with someone who is a good baker or candy maker. Then, I might indulge– as long as the stuff was made with real sugar, none of that artificial stuff.

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      • I feel badly with all the Christmas decorations going unused, especially some of the treasured items that were put out each year … and there are two miniature trees and a ceramic Boyd’s Bear tree, even a ceramic tree a family friend made for us when she got a kiln. All stored in red and green Rubbermaid totes downstairs. Nowadays we appreciate the time saved from all the fuss and sometimes the gift of time is the best gift we can give ourselves. I buy a quart of custard eggnog and my friend Ann Marie bakes for all her friends and she and her husband drive around delivering it as the holidays near, so I get some cookies to go with the eggnog.

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  71. My Pet Peeve is people who make Giving an Obligation. “Oh, She gave me something so I have to get her something.”. NO, You don’t! Giving should come out of love and want. Not, just because.
    Plus, the people that say “I only want Gift Cards’ or “Don’t get me anything.”. If you get something you don’t want, just accept it with Grace and donate it. Some Gift Givers (like me) get offended when you take away their love language.

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    • Catsandcoffee, EXCELLENT POINT. I agree with you: “giving should come out of love.” It is that simple. I always accept any gift with grace, and like you said if it’s not really my thing there’s always Goodwill. That being said, we no longer exchange gifts with any friends or family, preferring to donate money to a charity of choice, then get together for a meal. It takes the burden off the sometimes angsty dynamics of gift giving.

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  72. Ally, one of my pet peeves happened already—being bombarded with Christmas music and items to purchase for Christmas back in July. I totally understand that this doesn’t bother many people, particularly those who have enough disposable income to get their shopping done early. But as someone who as of yet hasn’t had a ton of money, being yelled at to “Get your Christmas shopping done early,” always felt like a punch in the stomach. I realize this is my issue though.

    Another pet peeve is a silly one: holiday movies supposedly set in a wintry locale—like Vermont or Minnesota—but the sets don’t match the actual location. Case in point: some friends and I watched a movie supposedly set in Vermont. The characters strolled down a flat, Mayberry-like street in cute little Christmas sweaters. When I was a student in Vermont, it snowed 35 inches. It was so cold, people were almost unrecognizable in their heavy coats and scarves. And the town where I went to school was so hilly and slippery, I had to watch my step.

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    • L. Marie, I don’t like being bombarded with anything Christmas, even in December. I agree that the emphasis on buying early [like in July?!!] is off-putting. It seems to me that rampant consumerism is not the reason for the season– but what do I know?

      Good point about holiday movies that aren’t realistic about their settings. I don’t like that either. You lived in Vermont, you’d know how how people dressed, that there are hills. I haven’t been there in the winter but I know enough to realize Hollywood has taken many liberties when they show us those supposedly wintry towns. Yours is a valid peeve.

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  73. Your pet peeves seem valid, to be sure. I don’t think I’ve ever received a holiday card where I didn’t know who the people were, but maybe. It does seem like a good idea to name everyone, though.

    Trying to think whether I have any holiday pet peeves. Hmmm. I get tired of people who are offended by ‘Happy Holidays’, and the entire ‘war on Christmas’ thing can be exhausting. I haven’t heard about that in a while, though, so either I have my blinders attached correctly, or it hasn’t been in the news over the last few years.

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    • J, the unnamed people in the photos phenomenon began when friends became grandparents or divorced then remarried. Suddenly I’d be looking at a pic baffled by who was in it.

      I agree about people who are insulted by “Happy Holidays.” It’s an accurate way to describe December, yet somehow some people get their panties in a twist over it. Like you I haven’t heard much about the alleged war on Christmas lately either. That was Bill O’Reilly’s schtick so with him gone, maybe the war has evaporated.

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  74. Interesting first pet peeve. I send out two different kinds of xmas cards. To those who are close to us, I send out the card with the photo of my guy and me, and our grandkids. No naming, but they know they’re our grandkids and I don’t think they need to know the names of all six. Because there’s no way they’ll remember (at times, I don’t!) To those who don’t know my family well (and that’s like my students, service people who I’m friendly with, etc) I send out a pretty holiday card. No photo.
    I refuse to listen to xmas music until around 12/10. So, the radio station is on Sirius or off, and I shop online so I don’t have to hear the same ole Mariah Carey over and over and over again. Could make me hate Christmas, and I don’t want to hate the holiday. But I don’t want to have to celebrate it for 30 friggin’ days!

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    • Pam, I take your point about not adding the names of the people in the photo when you don’t think anyone really cares. I care, but maybe I’m the one-off. I like your two card system. Makes sense on many levels.

      Funny you’d mention Mariah Carey, Z-D and I were just this past hour talking about her. He is not a fan of her music and like you said she is everywhere when you’re out shopping or even on the Sirius Christmas channels. Her songs can get a bit… tedious… I say generously.

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  77. I really behind on reading blogs – but it’s still the Christmas season, so yay! I have to say, though, I adore an overdecorated tree. I don’t do it myself because I don’t have that many ornaments, but I love doing a deep dive into other peoples’ overindulged trees and really poking around amongst all the glory.
    I’ll add, for the record, people can bring me a bottle of wine any old time at all.

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    • Arlene, thank you for catching up here. I’m behind reading blogs, too. Decembers can get complicated and I often let blogging slide. A few commenters told me that putting lots of ornaments on a tree is part of a trend called *layering* and that my less decorated preference is called *classic.* I’m charmed to know these terms. I’m with you about the wine. I can find better things to fret about. 🍷

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      • Layering – of course there’s a term. On St. Patrick’s Day I wore a pair of green pants that I’d had since the 1980s – Cream pleated pants. They’re old but … green, so when else but St. Patrick’s Day? One of my twenty-something co-workers raved about them . She said they were “vintage.” A cooler term than “old,” or “outdated,” I’ll grant you.

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