Encouraged By Your Interest I Answer Minnie Driver’s Existential Questions

/ Ally Bean
These 7 questions are from the podcast Minnie Questions with Minnie Driver. In December I asked you, my gentle readers, if these questions would be of interest to you and there was a resounding YES! My answers are as follows

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Artwork created by Zen-Den the Retired who has figured out how to draw pictures on my iPad.

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• When and where were you happiest? 

When? Now. Where? Here. Granted there’s nothing about my current midwest suburban lifestyle that years ago I’d have thought I’d like, but I do. I’ve adapted. I’m grateful for where I’ve landed.

And with whom, of course.

• What quality do you like least about yourself? 

I still tend to be a perfectionist in certain situations. I’ve overcome it in the sense of meal planning and daily schedules and wardrobe decisions, but when it comes to interior design decisions or word choices/grammar I get in my own way because I want things to be perfect.

I know, I know, progress not perfection.

• What relationship — real or fictionalized — defines love for you?

I’m going to go with a fictionalized relationship and say Amy Pond + Rory Williams.

They travelled with the 11th Dr. Who [Matt Smith] for a while and their love for/commitment to each other was so strong that Rory once guarded Amy’s tomb for thousands of years, just in case she would come back to life. Which she did, eventually [because time travel, like a bowtie, is cool].

They were honest with each other, kind and adventurous, accepting each other’s foibles for what they were, quirky personality features.

• What would be your last meal?

Once upon a time Z-D and I were in Hawaii on Christmas Day. We didn’t have reservations at any restaurant so we ate our Christmas dinner sitting on chaise lounge chairs by the hotel pool.

We ordered from the poolside menu, choosing the only items that were still available. Thus we each had a tuna salad sandwich on wheat, a small bag of potato chips, a cup of pineapple cubes, and a couple cans of light beer.

It was memorable and delicious.

• What person, place or experience has most altered your life?

I don’t have a specific answer for this question. Maybe going to college altered my life? Or having a house built altered my life? Or learning about reiki altered my life? Or writing this blog altered my life?

All of the above, none of the above, I do not know for sure.

• What question would you most like answered?

I’d like to know why some people are only happy when they’re clinging to their problems.

They blah-blah-blah about their problems, sometimes even ask for advice, but if you offer a solution, or suggest that it’s not really a problem, then you are the foe in their narrative. How dare you deprive them of their precious problems!

Can’t you see how put upon they are?

I understand the need to vent for a while but there comes a point when you have to fish or cut bait. Do something or shut up about it.

• What in your life has grown out of a personal disaster?

I’d say blogging. Years ago I had emergency surgery, called volvulus, to remove part of my large intestine that unceremoniously had knotted itself shut [plus while the surgeon was in the neighborhood he removed my appendix]. After 6 days in the hospital in a morphine haze I was sent home to recover.

Come to find out healing from major abdominal surgery was a huge lifestyle change. No longer was I the walking-est yoga girl ever. Instead I was told to not exercise vigorously, to not stretch, to not lift heavy objects– and pretty much to sit still.

For 13 months.

So I did the only thing I could think to do while sitting still, I threw myself into blogging as a way to pass the hours and feel productive. Thus thanks to emergency surgery I became Ally Bean, the blogger you know and love today.

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Questions of the Day
What do you think of Minnie’s questions? Yay or nay?
How do you feel about my answers? 
Will you answer Minnie’s questions on your own blog? Why or why not?
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216 thoughts on “Encouraged By Your Interest I Answer Minnie Driver’s Existential Questions”

  2. How fun!I like the question, and I really enjoyed your answers. I probably won’t answer the questions myself because I, too, am a bit of a perfectionist and I don’t have a good answer for what relationship defines love for me. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Esoterica, I understand. Questions like these can try you when you want to make sure you answer truthfully– and don’t make any mistakes. But if you change your mind, they’re here.

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  4. We always learn something new and interesting here. I didn’t know that major surgery changed direction for you. Huh.
    So many great aspects of my life grew out of what I perceived to be a disaster. My application to the university I wanted to attend got lost in the mail (Yes, back then we applied by mail) so I missed the deadline and ended up going somewhere else that was way better. My father didn’t pass on a message about a job interview, so I ended up working at a different place, and that led to meeting my husband. We hate to say out loud that good things come after a death, but I have found that there is always something that makes a grieving person smile, or at least feel a little better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy, good point about dessert. In our Hawaii dinner the fruit was the dessert, but now that I reflect on it a chocolate chip cookie would be a nice addition to the meal. Good luck finding patience. It’s elusive.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. That was some serious surgery! You are lucky to not have long term effects. I’m buying new furniture and rug for my family room. I have to pick the perfect stuff (that fits together) as it won’t be changed anytime soon! Making me nuts!

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    • Kate, yes the surgery was serious and unexpected and quite dramatic, three things I’m not generally keen on. I totally understand your situation about deciding on furniture. We need some new pieces and I keep putting it off. It’s the commitment to longevity that slows me down, too.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’m with you, Kate: that sounds like MAJOR MAJOR surgery (one major does not fully encapsulate it), with another MAJOR MAJOR recovery (for the same reasons).

      I love how you, Ally, see the positive in such a difficult ordeal. I also respect and admire that. I have this group chat with a couple of friends and yesterday the question that came up was what period/location in world history would you want to live in because it’s better than today. They were both surprised that I said “now.” 🤷‍♀️ I think you would have said the same?

      Liked by 2 people

      • Endless Weekend, I would have said the same. It’s not that I dismiss what I learned in the past, but I like now better than nostalgia. Plus I’m a realist, this is now so why not be here? But I’ll admit that is an interesting question to ponder.

        As for the emergency surgery and the aftermath, much learned, life goes on.

        Liked by 1 person

        • That’s what I respect and admire. Remember Miss Havisham in Great Expectations? I never liked the book. Why did she stay stuck in the past, wearing the wedding dress decades later? She should have take a lesson or two from The Bean!

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  8. Minnie’s questions are thought-provoking. Aren’t all questions which ask us to reveal a piece of ourselves to the world thought-provoking? I enjoyed your responses for that same reason. They reveal something about you and in turn I feel I know you a little better. I did not know about your surgery. That must have been difficult for you. I am fortunate you tackled blogging and our paths crossed here. I was thinking about the last meal question and maybe it is not the food but the memories we have around a meal we once enjoyed that make it memorable.

    I would consider answering the questions on my own blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So much to unpack here, so I’ll tackle a few:

    Last meal – sushi, followed by cherry cheesecake for dessert.

    I’m going to go with happiest moment? Sitting on the lawn by the Eiffel tower with my husband watching the sun go down. One of the most sublime moments of my life.

    Least favourite personal quality? Perfectionism.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elisabeth, I’m not enough of a fan of sushi to want it as my last meal, but I could be persuaded to add cherry cheesecake to my order.

      Your happiest moment sounds perfectly wonderful and I’m happy that you shared it here. Hang onto that wonderful memory forever.

      Perfectionism is a bugaboo for many bloggers I know. We are a fussy bunch!

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  10. My last meal would include souffle for dessert (chocolate or orange, doesn’t matter). My wife and I sprung for one of each at a VERY expensive restaurant once. I loved how we had to order them before dinner because they take that long to prepare. The most exquisite dessert I’ve ever tasted (and “exquisite” is reserved for only the very best, right?)

    Your least-liked quality is spot-on for me, Ally. I am a kindred perfectionist, including my words. I swear my blog editing sometimes takes longer than my blog writing, resulting in thoughts entirely too structured. One of these days I’ll take a leap of faith by publishing the very first draft of something I write. As Anna from Frozen might say, I just need to “let it flow… let it flow…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dave, I haven’t had a soufflé in years and now I want one. I love that you had to order one before dinner, thereby committing to dessert first. There’s a wisdom there.

      Many bloggers mention perfectionism as being what slows them down when writing. I know it does for me. I edit myself mercilessly because I worry that what I say will not be clear. I don’t think I’ve ever published a first draft. That’s a bridge too far for me. 😳

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  11. Good answers, Ms. Bean. Sorry about your surgery . . . glad you decided blogging would be a good way to spend your days.

    • When and where were you happiest? In Law School. In college, I was at “loose ends” . . . uncertain about what to do with my life. In law school, I could see my path clearly plus BFF and I were living together and “making our own rules.” It worked.

    • What quality do you like least about yourself? I’m a terrible sleeper . . . it’s hard for me to shut down and fall asleep and stay asleep. I would like to sleep through the night, every night, without nocturnal wakings and wanderings. Oh, morpheus, morpheus, wherefore art thou?

    I slept GREAT in law school. Maybe that’s why it was such a happy time.

    Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nancy, I bet there is a connection between how happy you were in law school and how well you slept back then. That’s a fascinating bit of self-awareness that with a clear sense of purpose you snoozed well. Huh.

      I’m sorry you are more or less sleepless now, though. That’s a burden to bear.

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  12. I learned a lot about you today Ally Bean and I like that! I also like the series of questions. They aren’t just those silly fluff ones you so often hear. These make you think about yourself and in sharing them reveal a deeper side. Nice work here. I might consider them for my blog…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, I liked these questions for the reason you mention: they make “you think about yourself and… reveal a deeper side.” Many lists of questions make me feel like I’ll be judged if I answer them, but Minnie’s question seem like they’re encouraging me to share myself. Thus I answered them– and maybe you will too!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, man, major surgery and sitting still for a year?! Brutal. No wonder you took up blogging. I nearly went insane over bedrest for a month (And then I had the baby and got no rest for years, LOL, life is invariably sadistically ironic like that.)

    These are interesting questions to ponder. Happiest? What kind of happy? Fulfilled? Joyful? Manic? Content? Celebratory? I have different answers, probably from overthinking it. But I wouldn’t trade right now to go back to any of those times (although I would like my knees from a decade ago, thanks very much).

    I’m not sure I have a fictional relationship that defines love for me. But if I had to pick one that comes closest to all the loves (romantic partner, dysfunctional family, child, siblings) it would be Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series. She best gets all the layers and complications.

    My least favorite quality is my impatience (tied to a quick temper). Mistakes are how we learn; I wish I was more forgiving of both myself and everyone else.

    What question answered? I’m going to think about this for days. Maybe “What happened to the Amber Room?” Or “What kind of intelligent life is out in the rest of the universe?” “Or, “Where the heck is the ring my grandmother gave me twenty years ago?”

    I think this is my record for longest blogging comment and longest time writing a blogging comment. Thanks for the think. I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • AutumnAshbough, as the recipient of your longest blogging comment ever, I am humbled and overjoyed. Thinking is fun.

      I like how you’ve parsed what *happy* might mean. I took it at face value but now that you mention it, I may have to review my answer. I’m not family with Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series. I am curious about it now, so I’ll check it out. Thanks for the idea.

      You’re impatient, huh? Well I’ve no idea how you remedy that other than to apply yourself to being patient. Something I learned the year after my surgery.

      I relate to the your lost jewelry question. I’d like to know where my garnet necklace with the stone my mother gave me went. It vanished years ago.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. First, I fully agree that cool kids leave comments 😀

    I’d say pizza would be my last meal. Ultra-thin crust pepperoni with extra cheese.

    And people clinging to their problems or MAKING problems so they can talk about them. Ughh. I am more than glad to listen or encourage someone with a real problem, but getting pulled over by the cops and getting a big fat ticket because you were speeding in your second, new, audi, doesn’t count. Or even worse, the relationship dramas. I’ve learned to just walk away from anyone who carries that kind of baggage :-/

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    • Bookstooge, pizza is a good last meal. I could get behind that idea, too.

      We’re in agreement about people who make their own problems. I don’t get it either. I’m an excellent listener, empathetic, BUT I’m also a problem solver so like you said in your example of the speeding ticket, my thought would be “get real, dude, get over yourself.” Then tell him to drive slowly. Problem solved.

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  16. These questions seem innocent enough but as I read your responses, my mind went into how would I answer? It requires honesty, I believe so I thank you for sharing parts of you. This, of course, means I will answer them in a future post… (I checked out Frank’s link and Alan Alda’s questions are rather intense!)

    Wow, that must have been some scary intervention to have! Glad that you came out the other side without a negative lifestyle change (after the 13 months, I mean) and lucky for us, it brought out a fabulous blogger.

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    • Dale, you’ve nailed why I like Minnie’s questions. They’re straightforward, but then once I started to answer them I found myself going deeper into my psyche. If you choose to answer them I’ll look forward to reading your answers.

      I agree about Alda’s questions, btw. Excellent ones, but maybe above my pay grade. And yes, I am who I am today because of that surgery. Blogging was, and is, something good to do with my time.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Such fun – and as others have said – so revealing! Frank’s sharing of Asleep at the Wheel was perfect – it was new to me, and I just listened to the song. Whole hippopotamus? I like it! Err…not the hippo for dinner business, but the tune. 😉 Love Minnie’s questions…and your answers. Glad you’ve recuperated from a lengthy surgical adventure, Ally. Goodness! I’ll need to check out the Alan Alda bits. Good blogging fun for a Tuesday morning — thanks, Ally Bean! 😊😊😊

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    • Victoria, I’d never heard of Asleep at the Wheel let alone that hilarious song. Leave it to Frank to know about such things.

      I’d never have answered Minnie’s questions here if it weren’t for commenters overwhelmingly wanting me to do so. The questions are simple yet lead to personal insight once you start thinking about your answers. And you know I love insight. 😊

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    • Jenn, interesting insight into what baffles you. I can answer subjective questions relatively easily, but put a prompt in front of me I freeze. If you discover the answer to the question you’d like answered, I’ll be interested. Maybe it’ll shed light on why I find prompts unnerving.

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  19. Isn’t it crazy how injuries can change so much? I broke my leg about a decade ago and had to have my leg up all day for months and months. It changed my life so much and yet I don’t think about every day anymore.

    It’s also great to hear that you are so happy in your current situation! What a lovely thing to say about the decisions you’ve made in life to get to this point.

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    • NGS, it sounds like your broken leg did the same thing to you that my emergency surgery did to me. The lifestyle change was sudden, out of the blue, and set me off in a new direction, not necessarily one of my own making.

      But we survive, don’t we? And sometimes thrive in different ways because of it.

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  20. These are tough. I could answer them differently depending on the day. Not sure I would answer them on my blog, because I’d feel so uncertain of my own responses.

    The easy ones for me: My least fav personal characteristic? Being sensitive to over-sensitive. I need to take Elsa’s advice and LET IT GO! Why so hard for me?

    Last meal for me would be so easy THE MOST GLUTEN I COULD PACK IN TO ONE MEAL FOLLOWED BY A VERY DELICOULS GLUTENOUS DESSERT – CAKE OF SOME SORT.

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    • Ernie, I know what you mean about how your answers to these questions could vary depending on the day. I answered them a few times before I landed on these answers… but reserve the right to change my mind.

      I like the idea of Elsa encouraging you. Will she be singing in your subconscious? Haunting you with her refrain?

      Your last meal must include cake. Obviously. I get that and would humbly suggest it might include a variety of cakes. Just saying, under the circumstances…

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      • And I meant to say, that surgery and the aftermath recovery sounds really dreadful. My ER visit on Halloween had me feeling like that was a surgery I needed. Fortunately it wasn’t, but I can only imagine how much worse you felt if you required it. I’m glad though that it prompted you to start a blog.

        Liked by 1 person

        • The whole story of how I ended up in the ER is wacko, but can be boiled down to I was in so much pain I couldn’t stand up straight. It freaked me out. Once in the ER I knew I was in trouble because the orderlies tasked with getting me to various test (like X-rays and MRIs] were running with me in the bed. My pain came out of nowhere, wouldn’t subside, and left me breathless. Would not recommend.

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  21. Minnie’s questions are good ones … better than the Colbert Questionnaire. Each of your answers could be expanded into a blog post (or two) of its own. I found myself thinking about what my answers would be, but I probably wouldn’t share the answers in my blog. There’s still a voice (hi, Mom!) whispering to me that “nobody cares about your personal life.” Interestingly, I had somewhat similar intestinal surgery, including 9 days in hospital, a year before I started blogging. I never made the connection, but a connection can be made. Thanks for sharing, Ally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, I don’t know about the Colbert Questionnaire, but I’ll pass on it. I feel I’ve answered enough questions lately.

      You’re right, each of Minnie’s question could make for a good blog post, if you were inclined to want to go deeper. The people she interviews go much deeper than I ever would on this blog.

      I’m interested to know that you had similar surgery at one time. It changed my world completely in ways I’d never have thought of before it happened. I’m fascinated that you, too, embraced blogging in the aftermath of your surgery. Writing is therapeutic, no doubt.

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      • I think my medical emergency (in two hospitals in two states) really opened my eyes to kindness—I was the beneficiary of so much of it. Plus, those not-so-gentle reminders of our mortality can be a real kick in the pants. A nudge that we don’t have all the time in the world….

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        • Yes, you’re right about the kick in the pants part of the experience. After I got home I felt fortunate to be alive, knowing I’d been given a chance to keep on going in relatively good health. I healed slowly, but I healed.

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  23. Great answers, it’s interesting to read how other people would answer the same questions and come up with completely different ideas. My last meal would likely be Indian – Butter Paneer probably. I do agree with your dislike of people who always ask for help and guidance with their problem, but never take it and are stuck in their misery. Great post! Maggie

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maggie, I agree with you that it’s fascinating to see how different people answer the same questions. I like the insights into what makes people tick.

      You get what I’m saying. The whole idea of holding onto your problems tightly, never letting go, I dunno… I don’t get that. Why be stuck in misery if you don’t have to be? And then try to foist it onto others?

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  24. Personally, I think perfectionism is a positive trait, unless it makes your life difficult. I feel at peace when my surroundings are ‘just so,’ which I believe is a good thing.

    I love your answer to your last meal. I feel as though all our memorable meals were on trips, and speaking of Hawaii, we had an incredible cheap lunch in Maui at a little strip mall place called Coconuts Fish Cafe. Best fish tacos, ever!

    Minnie’s questions are thought provoking, but some I don’t have answers for (relationship or question I’d like answered).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bijoux, I take your point about the pluses of perfectionism. It has served me well, but I’ve decided it doesn’t need to be my guiding principle… except in a few specific areas of my life.

      Fish tacos in Maui, now that is something too wonderful to contemplate, says the woman living in the gray days of a Midwestern winter. Sounds delicious.

      I had to think on my answers to these questions. I understand how you don’t immediately have answers to all of them.

      Like

  25. I casually was scrolling through the comments when I discovered you’d never heard of Asleep at the Wheel. They revivified Bob Wills’s music and western swing generally, and I never hit the road without having one of their CDs at hand — even if I’m going to the grocery store.

    When I read “What person, place or experience has most altered your life?” I knew the answers immediately. There are four, actually, but three of them never will be mentioned on my blog, except in certain oblique ways. The fourth is learning to sail; it truly was life changing. In fact, my story of how it affected me landed on our local NPR station’s “This I Believe” series. I actually managed to find the broadcast; you can hear it at this link.

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    • Linda, until this morning I’d never heard of Asleep at the Wheel, but now that I have I’m rather taken with them. Goofy lyrics, nice beat. One of the best things about blogging is learning about new-to-me things.

      I’m thrilled that you included a link to your interview! I’m impressed that you did that then and that answering the one question I couldn’t answer comes easily to you. Will listen to you later in the day. Thanks for sharing here.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Marian, I’ll let the budding artist know he has a following. He left the art for me to find, then got a kick out of it when I did.

      I studied the first two levels of reiki, but not the last one that allows you to be certified. I enjoyed what I learned, it changed the ways in which I view my life and how I relate to other people. It was/is something I consider to be another tool in my toolbox of life skills.

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Oh yes, I do like your answers and getting to know a bit more.
    I have no idea what I’d want for my last meal. When I was little up until my 30’s it would have chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and milk. I still love that type of cake, but not milk and I think I’d want a “real” meal plus cake now but I don’t what.

    No, I won’t answer the questions on my blog. It’s not me hence not that type of blog. 😃

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  29. I didn’t know about the surgery–13 months would seem like an eternity! Those random events like your poolside meal make excellent memories. It goes to show how adaptable we can be and how small things are special and enjoyable.

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    • Margaret, the healing after the surgery was tedious, but also life-affirming. What choice did I have? You’re right about the small things in life. The poolside dinner was nothing, but also everything. I think of it with fondness.

      Like

  30. I am so glad you did this! So, after you first shared these questions, I wrote them down in my soul homework journaling prompts. I’m currently working on them, but I’m only on #3, so I haven’t read all of your responses yet so as not to bias my responses. I’ll return when I’m finished to read the rest of yours.

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  31. After reading your answers, I’ve realized just how alike you and I are. Though the whole Dr. Who thing eludes me, as I’ve never seen a single episode out of the, what, 20 million that have aired?

    Your answer to the last meal question is perfect, by the way. And thank god you at least got pineapple cubes. Hawaii was able to redeem itself there.

    I might tuck these away for future blogging material…at least one or two of them.

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    • Mark, I’m sure that if you ever get interested in Dr. Who you’ll find one of the 20 million episodes streaming somewhere. I don’t watch it much anymore but back when Matt Smith was the Doctor I was a big fan.

      Hawaii did us well on that trip. We didn’t have dinner reservations because we forgot to make them, so it’s no slam on the state. Nonetheless we had a good time and our meal was delicious.

      If you decide to answer any or all of the questions I look forward to reading your answers.

      Like

  33. Food for thought and discussion Ally.

    1. When and where is a 2 part answer. First was in the early 70’s at Vandenberg AFB, now called Vandenberg Space Force Base, where my children were born. And second now with my wife in our little dot on someones map that we call home.

    2. Least liked quality. As I grow older and dustier, I find I’m turning more and more into Walter. A quality I am working on improving.

    3. My Grandparents had a love that was for the ages. One of my favorite pictures of them was one day they were dancing in the kitchen, no music, and I snuck up on them and took a photo. That picture is a family treasure till this day. They were Archie and Edith long before All in the Family.

    4. My last meal? Easy one, a hot dog. Bane of my existence, but I love them.

    5. My father succumbed to Alzheimers. Being with him in his last few months caring for him and keeping him safe was the most humbling and most precious time of my life. I wouldn’t trade those days for all the money in the world. I miss him.

    6. Hmm, best to leave this one alone.

    7. As a direct result of a very short lived marriage (don’t ask), I landed a job in the medical profession. At the time, I had no idea that it would turn into a very successful career. This career change (I was a machinist) proved to be a major turning point in my life.

    Thank you for being you Ally. Your blog has risen to the top of my list. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Johnny, I like thinking of the first question in two parts. That didn’t occur to me. Your answers make sense to me, Walter. 😉

      I love that you have a photo of your grandparents together, dancing, being happy. That’s a nice way to remember them, even if they were Archie and Edith.

      I can understand how caring for someone with Alzheimer’s would change your life dramatically. It was good of you to care for him, even if it was heartbreaking in the moment. Now you have a better perspective and can treasure the time you had together.

      From machinist to medical personnel due to a failed marriage is a big career change. I can understand how no one would figure that they’d end up better off in the way that you did. Life goes in some odd directions sometimes.

      Thanks for adding your answers to the comments. It’s been great getting to know you a little better.

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  34. As one who voted for Minnie’s questions, I’m not sure I knew what to expect, but I do see what you mean about them appearing to be nothing much, but sneakily interesting. The answer to what made you in to Ally Bean, blogging queen is huge. It does explain where your phlegmatic approach to life may have come from, and I’m also now dying to try some Reiki.

    Will I answer the questions – yes, I probably will. Definitely in my journal, probably on my blog. I’ve also saved the Alan Alda’s questions for the same either/or/both purpose.

    Love Z-D’s cute drawing 😀

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    • Deb, your summation of these questions is spot on. Such innocent little questions, but such deep thinking to find my answers. They’re the kind of questions that called to me and I suppose reveal more about me than usual. That’s good, I think. 🤔

      I looked at Alan Alda’s questions but they seem more intense, more about relationships than delving into who you are so I’ll pass. Plus I’m tired of questions, this is my second bunch this month.

      I’ll be interested in reading your answers to either, or both, sets of questions should you decide to share your answers.

      Z-D is gaining a fan club here. I’ll let him know.

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  35. Wow, I had no idea THAT is how this blog came about! Well, talk about terrible experience that turned into a wonderful gift to the world – although I wonder if a blog would have come about without intestinal trauma. We will never know (and also, I am so glad you are okay and are here to tell the tale! That sounds just dreadful.)

    I love your response HERE, NOW. I feel the same! Bloom where you’re planted, baby! I mean, it’s not to say I wouldn’t welcome a trip to Hawaii at this moment but I like being where I am, literally and figuratively. And, where I am is going to change in the next six months and I am going to embrace it, even though there will be certainly little bumps in the road. But aren’t there bumps everywhere?

    Speaking of Hawaii, your Christmas dinner sounds absolutely lovely. I’d take that!

    Do you know, I have never seen any episode of Dr Who? Ditto to Star Trek and Cheers.

    I might just answer these questions on my own blog – although I am still working my way through my Ask Me Anythings, so it might be a while. Hope I don’t forget – these were fun to read.

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    • Nicole, I, too, wonder where I’d be in blogland if I hadn’t gone all in with blogging after the surgery. I had a blog prior to the surgery but rarely posted to it, that one was a lark. But once I was stuck at home, I became a dedicated blogger with a sense of purpose.

      I say “bloom where you’re planted” too. It seems like a sensible approach to life even when, as you said, there are bumps everywhere along the way. For instance, like no reservations for Christmas dinner in Hawaii.

      Dr Who has been on forever and depending on which actor is playing the part, it’s fun. I don’t watch it much anymore. As for Star Trek and Cheers, they’re always available to you on some streaming service somewhere.

      Good luck answering all your questions. I’ll admit that after doing two rounds of questions this month, I’m tired of answering any questions. But you, my dear, carry on!

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  36. What interesting questions and answers. I love the meal – just because of your description and the something I learned about you with the surgery and beginning of blogging. But my favorite part was this sentence in the midst of a reply about perfection “I know, I know, progress not perfection.”

    Now that is perfect!

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    • Jan, these questions seem innocent enough, until you start thinking about your answers. I’m glad I answered them, but didn’t expect them to make me think as deeply as I did. You’re right about meals, I remember the people more than the food itself.

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    • Donna, I thought you’d like these questions. They seem like your kind of thing, too. I like the addition of the cupcake. I love creamed spinach so I could also add your mom’s to my last meal. Why not?

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  39. I can’t believe you had to lay low in the exercise department for over a year! I would go crazy and I’m glad you just went blogging instead 🙂

    Last Meal – Fried scallops and onion rings and ice cream.

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    • Colleen, I went from being very active to pretty much sitting around on my duff. I had to do something to distract me and blogging was new enough to seem like a wild ride, an adventure, so that’s what I did.

      Your last meal is perfect. I’m smiling thinking about it. I haven’t had fried scallops in years.

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  40. Very interesting learning more about you, Ally. The surgery experience would definitely be a life changer. 36 years ago I had a major surgery that changed me as well. I had problems with my jaw locking so had reconstructive facial surgery. It changed my looks and there is still a small part of my chin that I cannot feel. I think it also changed the way I look when I talk although truthfully I don’t really know what I looked like when I talked before because we didn’t have the technological advances with phones, etc. that we do now. I just know when I am doing a video now for my crafty stuff, I think my mouth moves funny. My last meal would have to be a nice rare slab of prime rib with some ravioli on the side, warm blackberry or raspberry pie for dessert. Thanks for sharing! Have a great rest of your week.

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    • Janet, interesting to know about your surgery. Was it difficult to decide to do that? I bet it’s odd to not feel a part of your chin BUT if your jaw problem is solved, who cares? I had braces as an adult and it changed the way I look when I speak, too. Not the sound, just the way my mouth moves. Kind of like your situation I suppose.

      I like your last meal. Nice choice, I’d add a green salad, just to be healthful, of course. 😉

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      • Well, they kind of told me that if I didn’t have the surgery my jaw would continue to lock and I’d have more headaches. We had really good insurance at the time so it was not a financial hardship. While I was able to get up and move around without problems, my mouth was wired shut for 6 weeks and I had to learn to use a syringe to eat with at first and then graduated to using a straw. Interestingly, our youngest daughter just had to have the same surgery. Apparently that condition is hereditary. She was only wired completely shut for one week though and then could open enough to use squeeze pouches like they give babies. Lucky girl. Yes, salad, either Caesar or regular with 1000 island.

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        • Thanks for explaining what happened. In the same situation I’d do the same thing you did. No headaches are good. I can only imagine how weird it was to eat like you did during your recovery. It’s encouraging to know how much faster recovery time is now. I’m glad your daughter came through it, but sorry she had to do it. Definitely Caesar salad for me.

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  42. I like the questions. I think they’re interesting and not the usual stuff I see. I appreciate your answers and that you are comfortable with sharing those answers with us. It was sad to read of your intestinal issues and that you had to pretty much stop doing all the fun physical activities you so enjoyed. I’m glad you took up blogging as a way to stay engaged. Reading this reminded me of Roger’s colon cancer surgery and recovery back in 2010. We never know what our bodies are doing behind our backs.

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    • Robin, so true about what our bodies are doing right under our noses, so to speak. I’m sorry to read of Roger’s surgery, but glad it was available for him. Same kind of feeling about my situation, sorry it happened [but who knew?] thankful I lived. I liked these questions too. They’re simple on the surface, but lead to some complex answers. Plus Minnie’s dry English sense of humor makes me smile when I listen to her podcast.

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  43. These were so fun to read, Ally! I did not know your blogging origin story. Fascinating.

    The tuna sandwich with cans of beer as your last meal made me smile. Sometimes the simplest things are the most wonderful. I fear if I knew a meal were my last, I would fail to enjoy it, so it probably doesn’t matter what it is.

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    • Suzanne, you raise an excellent point about knowing it was your last meal. You’re right, I wouldn’t enjoy it either. That being said, I don’t know that our Christmas dinner in Hawaii was haute cuisine, but it sure seemed like it in the moment. And maybe that’s what counts in the end.

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    • Dan, thank you. You’re too kind. If it weren’t for being stuck at home literally not moving, I don’t know if I’d have thrown myself into blogging like I did. As for the Christmas dinner in Hawaii it was memorable. In fact all of spending Christmas in Hawaii was memorable, in a good way.

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  47. First, thank you for this. I love Minnie Driver and didn’t know she had a podcast. Secondly….I love your answers. Amy and Rory are my all-time favorite couple (their last episode broke me and I will not watch it again). As a recovering perfectionist, I feel your pain (can we start a 12-step program/support group? maybe we should start with 5 steps. or 6. 7 is a perfect number). I had a supervisor who was only happy when her life was in chaos. Being around her was exhausting. I will post and answer “soon” (I am running out the door to return to stand-up, bc on the stage is where I’m happiest).

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    • twistingsuburbia, Minnie Driver’s podcast is a quiet gem among all the loud celebrity podcasts. She has the best way talking with guests and a dry sense of humor that I adore.

      I know how you feel about Amy and Rory. I loved their chemistry when they travelled with the Doctor but to see them go was difficult.

      You summed up my conundrum/feelings perfectly when you described your supervisor. THAT’s the sort of person who tires me, too. Exhausting, and pointlessly driven to hang onto problems like they define her. Why?

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  48. I like the questions – they’re different than the usual kind of questions we see on blogs. Enjoyed your answers, too. I probably won’t put them on my blog because I try to keep things travel themed (unless I’m hit with a flash of non-travel inspiration), but if I did, I’d be most interested in responding to the one about what relationship defines love for me: It’s gotta be Jesse & Celine from Before Sunrise/Before Sunset/Before Midnight.

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    • KDKH, I don’t know if I qualify as a Reiki practitioner, I took two of the three courses offered. BUT it has changed my life in good ways. Whether I could perform it on other people… I dunno.

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  50. You certainly made good use of your recovery time from surgery. You’re one of the most serious bloggers I know.

    I’m sorry that I’ve never watched Dr. Who. That sounds like a fascinating relationship. In real life, it’s hard to choose a couple that defines a loving relationship. There are seasons to most relationships, times to be extremely close and times to explore your own talents and interests. It’s hard to judge what’s going on in anyone’s heart. The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry is a good example of a loving relationship. The young husband noticed how much his wife cared about her beautiful hair, so he sold his prized possession, a watch, to buy her a beautiful comb. She knew how much he loved his watch, so she sold her beautiful long hair to buy him a fancy watch chain. I guess you’re right. Stories are the best way to answer that question.

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    • Nicki, it was one of those “bloom where you’re planted” things. Blogging was new and seemed like a challenge I could do while not feeling my best physically.

      Dr. Who has been on TV for decades and I’ve seen parts of it, but not the whole thing. Each time there’s a new doctor the show changes in tenor and sometimes I don’t care for the new version so I don’t watch it. I happened to adore Matt Smith as the doctor– and Amy + Rory were the best.

      I remember that story by O. Henry. It’s a delightful example of true love. I agree that fictionalized characters in love seem like the best way to answer the question. Real people are too messy.

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  51. It is fantastic that you found a silvery lining to a messy physical condition. That must have been very difficult. By chance, last week I interviewed a young women who was recovering from major abdominal surgery. The list of things she wasn’t allowed to do, or was incapable of doing on her recovery was surprisingly long. Made all the more difficult as the mum to three young girls. Did you receive any support during your convalesence to manage household tasks?

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  52. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MINNIE’S QUESTIONS? YAY OR NAY? They were interesting questions.
    HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT MY ANSWERS? I enjoyed reading all of your replies very much. I learned something new about the beginning of your blogging life.
    WILL YOU ANSWER MINNIE’S QUESTIONS ON YOUR OWN BLOG? WHY OR WHY NOT? Probably not, purely because it’s tax prep time and my brain is into the boring details of numbers that need to balance mode, not particularly creative if you catch my drift. 🤣
    Thank you for sharing your answers, they were a joy to read!

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  54. When the happiest? I would agree now. What quality I don’t like? I am also a perfectionist, but I do like being one. I think the quality I don’t like in myself is impatience. Sometimes I need to just slow down and live in the moment better. What relationship? Even though Mrs. Chess and I do not have children, I would say Phil and Claire Dunphy from the series Modern Family. They know each other’s weaknesses and “fill them in” by being strong for the both of them in those areas. They have each other’s back. Last meal? Pizza and French Fries. Simple but oh-so-comforting. Experience that altered my life? Finding out I had a herniated disc in my neck. It altered my lifestyle a bit thereafter as to how I both worked and exercised. Question I’d like answered? I agree I’m always curious why some folks like living in misery. Bizarre. For me, at this point in life I think I’d like to just know ahead of time when the rapture is, because I’d like to get my affairs in order (I’m assuming I have a ticket). A personal disaster resulting in growth? I’d say getting laid off from back-to-back positions, because it made me a stronger overall person. I enjoyed the display of Zen-Den’s artistic flair, which is a talent I do not possess.😀

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    • Bruce, I realize that my here and now answer may not always be true, but while it is I’m sticking with it. Another commenter mentioned being impatient. As a sloth I don’t relate to it, but I understand how it could bother you. Good luck with that.

      Good choice for a loving couple. I take your point about them and agree. I’ll leave you to pizza and fries together in one meal. You said is about some people “living in misery.” Since I posted this I’ve learned that kind of behavior is called having a crisis-centric life. Not for me, thanks. I’ll wait with you for word about the rapture; if you hear first you’ll let me know, right?

      I’m sorry you got laid off back-to-back positions but that you realize it helped shape you into who you are today [Please refer to your first answer.] As for Z-D’s newfound artistic gift, we’ll see how long this lasts. Having made me laugh he may be over his artistic phase.

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  55. I love your responses, Ally! (I seem to throw the word “love” around a lot lately, but I really did enjoy them a lot.) I won’t say I’m glad you had emergency surgery, but I am very glad that you discovered blogging.

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    • Thanks, Christie. I enjoyed answering these questions. They made me think which is something I like to do. I understand what you mean about the emergency surgery, not on my bucket list of things to do but it did slow me down enough so that I focused on blogging.

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  56. They are good questions. My favorite answer was your tuna sandwich in Hawaii. We were once forced to have leftovers on Christmas. It’s memorable, if nothing else.

    This: I’d like to know why some people are only happy when they’re clinging to their problems. I was just discussing something to that effect at family dinner last night. An old friend was complaining to me about a health issue. It became clear what the steps for remedying it were, yet he seemed reticent to do so. I followed up the next week, “Did you call the X?” No. Waited several days and asked again. Still no. I told my kids, “You are not allowed to complain about a problem if you refuse to do anything to fix it.” I just don’t get that. My friend kept saying the biggest issue was x, but still isn’t taking steps to correct it. Why?

    Love/hate how your blog was born. Sounds like a terrible experience, and yet it brought us you!

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    • Betsy, we enjoyed our unusual Christmas dinner and were grateful to get what we got. I don’t know that the food was spectacular but the company and sense of place were lovely.

      I hear ‘ya about people who won’t let go of their problems when there is a remedy. It baffles me. You’re channeling my mother with: “You are not allowed to complain about a problem if you refuse to do anything to fix it.” That’s how I grew up.

      I’d been messing around with blogging a little before the emergency surgery, but afterward I went all in with blogging. It kept me sane, or a close facsimile thereof. 🙄

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  57. The last meal question made me think of mine and my Mom’s lunch at Golden Corral yesterday. They put out a whole pan of pork steaks (which I love) that were…… quite well done. Let’s just say they were flat out burnt. I’m really surprised they didn’t chuck them and try again…. but there they were. Most people were avoiding them, but burnt Golden Corral pork steaks is food of the gods to me. Now I was responsible enough not to take too many of them…. because after all, I would have to live with the consequences of so much charred meat in my gut. But if I knew it were going to be my last meal….. I’d have just taken the entire pan to my table while my horrified mother looked on.

    I apologize if this ruined anyone’s appetite, but it was too intriguing of a thought that popped into my head upon that last meal suggestion!

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    • evilsquirrel13, this is a wonderful example of a last meal based on a meaningful experience. Thanks for sharing it. I’m impressed that you showed the restraint that you did, but in a different circumstance, your last meal for instance, I could understand why you’d eat the whole pan of those charred pork steaks. Your own personal manna.

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  58. Wow, that emergency surgery and long recovery sounds pretty scary. I’m so glad something good, your blog, came out of it.

    I’m also baffled by people who go on and on while clinging to their problems… Years ago I read a book, I think it was called “Games People Play,” and one of the games was called, “I Dare You to Solve My Problem.” Of all the games described in the book that was the one that stuck with me as there are several people I know who try to play it all the time.

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    • Barbara, the surgery was effective and changed my life permanently in obvious and less obvious ways. It was quite a year.

      I vaguely remember a book with that name. It sounds familiar and the game you describe is exactly what I’m talking about here. Why have a problem when you could be solving it? Answer: they’re playing their version of “I Dare You to Solve My Problem” and you are a pawn in it. Thanks for this insight. You’ve given me the answer I was looking for.

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      • I learned over the years the best thing to do is not play the game, refuse to be a pawn. I never offer a solution or give advice to people like that. Sometimes I just smile and ask them, “So, what are you planning to do?” They usually stop short and change the subject. Yay!

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        • Good approach. I can see how asking for them to tell you a solution would stop the conversation. They want to whine, not move forward. Make yourself an obstacle to their whining and you’re not of use to them. Will remember this.

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  59. Okay, I’m back.

    There is nothing like a good tuna fish sandwich, in my opinion. AND IT’S ALSO ON MY LAST FOOD LIST.

    Blogging has also improved my life. So many wonderful people I would never have met if I hadn’t created a Blogger account almost 13 years ago.

    That intestine situation had to be terrifying. I’m glad your blog arose from that period. It’s ironic that I started blogging after being diagnosed with GERD. Nothing like your situation, but it’s funny how tummy issues led us to blogging.

    Thank you so much for sharing these prompts. I enjoyed learning more about you and myself.❤️

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    • Kari, I, too, like tuna fish sandwiches no matter where or when. The ones we had in HA were delicious, but I’ll also admit we were starving by the time we got them so maybe they were just so-so? Still, it was a memorable meal.

      I feel the same way about how my life has improved thanks to blogging. For something that didn’t really exist 20 years ago blogging has become a defining aspect of who I am.

      Another commenter mentioned having stomach problems then deciding to start a personal blog. I don’t know what to make of it, other than I’m pleased that we all did. Glad you liked the questions, they do get you thinking.

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  60. I like your last meal because I suspect it would include a trip to Hawaii. I will say that I would like mine to be a fabulous meal in Paris, either like the one I had on my honeymoon, or like one I had on my most recent trip. Both were wonderful.

    I’m sorry that you went through that surgery, but your pain is our gain!

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    • J, I take you point about having a Parisian meal as your last one. And should I ever have any as scrumptious as yours I reserve the right to change my mind about my last meal.

      I wouldn’t wish my surgery on anyone but it did send me down a new path to blogging– and that’s worked out well. So I’ll spin it happy.

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  61. May I say that I am thankful that you started blogging because of that hospitalization and that I am even more thankful that you loved it so much that you kept it up? Because otherwise I wouldn’t be typing this here 🙂 Loved to have met you on the Internet.

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    • San, thanks you for your kind words. I, too, am glad to have met you along the way. It is part of the fun of blogging to discover new people and learn about their lives and what interests them. 😊

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  62. I’m late to the party on this. First of all, I love that you mentioned Amy and Rory from one of my favorite seasons of Doctor Who, which was Matt Smith’s first full season! Second, I would probably be in Montego Bay, Jamaica for a final meal. I had the best red snapper there. I say that now, because I haven’t been to Hawaii or anywhere in Europe. Once I go to those places, my answer may change! 😊

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    • L. Marie, I didn’t remember that Amy and Rory were from Matt Smith’s first full season. I loved them from the git-go, their relationship was realistic in a show that might not be realistic.

      Your last meal sounds like mine in that it was the location as much as the food that made in memorable. I, too, have reserved the right to change my mind should a better meal come along.

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  65. Wow that surgery must have been scary….plus the prolonged recovery time. I didn’t know Minnie Driver was still around. I enjoyed reading your answers, but probably won’t do it myself, as I’m far behind on Reader again….and I have to make cheesecake for next weeks blog post.

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    • Joni, oh yes cheesecake is much more interesting than answering these questions. I understand that. I look forward to your post.

      I answered Minnie’s questions because readers told me they were interested in the questions. I don’t know if that interest extended to my answers but I assumed it did. Hence a deeper than usual blog post about, of all things, me.

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  66. Hi Ally, Your Zen-Den is a Fun Guy (not the mushroom version…)😀

    I am nodding my head, yes, “with whom.”

    The last meal comes up at least once in our family/friends get-togethers. I ‘get it’ on your choices. I am happy the emergency surgery had good results and we are able to share this space and time together.

    You remind me how not always having an answer is a great answer, Ally!

    Echoing your Zen-Den, Here we go – Fun! 😀 Erica

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    • Erica/Erika, Z-D is a good one. He drew the picture then just waited to see when I’d find it and what I’d do with it.

      I like the last meal question and for me thee answer is about the memory of a good time together more than the meal itself.

      I reminded myself of how not having an answer is okay. I wrote a couple of specific answers to the question then thought “nope” not going to answer it.

      Thanks for stopping by to comment. I appreciate it.

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    • Bernie, I was seriously tired before the emergency surgery, just going through the motions of life, then had a difficult time digesting food afterwards. 25% of my intestine was removed. I was rundown to the nth degree for months afterward, not much food = not much energy. I was encouraged to take it easy, so I did. Eventually my appetite returned and so did some of my energy, but never the same again.

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        • Yes. I healed from the incisions [that I refer to as being gutted like a fish] but just had no oomph. The docs never seemed concerned that anything was wrong, so I figured my recovery was normal.

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  68. Nice, Ally! I’m always glad to find other perfectionists (or OCDists) because it makes me feel normal. Although I am not. I remember when a long-ago co-worker called me a perfectionist and my reaction was as if I were in the middle of an intervention. “No, no, no, not me…I am NOT a perfectionist!”

    I think denial is one of the ten steps…right?

    Oh, and I know comments were closed, but I Lol’d at your snark over Howard the know-it-all. Evidently, he didn’t graduate from the Ally School of Excellent Blogging.

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    • Mary, I’m laughing at your reaction to being called a perfectionist. I relate, I had someone tell me I was serious and I was “No, I’m lighthearted, not serious.” Like it was awful to be perceived as serious [which I think she meant to mean conscientious].

      I closed the comments on that post because I wanted readers to go meet other bloggers. However, now that you mention it I know he didn’t graduate from the Ally School of Excellent Blogging because his application was rejected. 😁

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    • Linda, I try to remind myself of that saying and in some situations it works for me, like deciding what to wear [I don’t have to look perfect], but when it comes to writing I fuss too much. I look forward to your answers, that need not be perfect, if you decide to do this.

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  70. Ally – I know people get sick and tired of hearing the same old gripes and whining ad nauseam. Sometimes I just mumble silently or curse loudly while I am alone because it makes me feel better and it is better than carrying around extra angst … there is enough angst everywhere as it is. When I would fret or stew about something, my mom would say “Linda – either pee or get off the pot.” That signaled for me I had exceeded my whining on that topic. 🙂 That’s interesting how you began your blog. At least you will never have to worry about an appendicitis attack. I can remember when I was very young and we still lived in Canada, my father had terrible pain in his side and an ambulance coming in the middle of the night and racing away and he had an appendectomy. My mom did not drive.

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    • Linda, I suspect everyone grumbles silently some of the time, but it’s the people who whine loudly all the time that bug me. I understand empathetic listening, but there comes a point when I’m done with that. Problems need solutions.

      Yes, I’ve heard that when your appendix ruptures it is painful. Glad mine is gone, but how that came to be was an ordeal. However afterwards I did get into blogging more than I might have otherwise, so that’s good.

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  71. I immensely enjoyed her questions, and I loved reading your answers.

    Same from me on this one: “I’d like to know why some people are only happy when they’re clinging to their problems.” I’ve realized some people are so content with being miserable, and it’s sad.

    I had no clue about your abdominal surgery (or if I did, I forgot, sorry) and how it led you to blogging! Very interesting, and I’m glad that part of your health journey is behind you.

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    • Suz, I find Minnie’s questions to be simple yet when you answer them you reveal yourself in complex ways. The best kind of questions.

      Yep, the abdominal surgery happened long ago, but changed me physically and spiritually. Before the surgery I had a blog that I didn’t do much with, but while I recuperated I went all in on blogging. I do less now, but back then I was a daily blogger.

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  72. I’m tardy to this post. Got lost in the in-box. Sorry to hear about that surgery, but glad you starting blogging. We have bowel surgery in common, though mine was a colostomy in 2012 and reversal in 2013.

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    • Annie, I’m sorry to read about your surgery but also happy that it was reversed. Before surgery there was talk of a colostomy for me, but I turned out not to need it. Once those surgeons start messing around in your innards, you just don’t know what to expect.

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