I’m Pleased To Announce That Miss Nettie Briggs Has Entered The Chat

/ Ally Bean

Give attitude, get attention, right?

I like that saying, it explains many things.

I prefer, and I think you’d agree, that the attitude be positive spunk [aka signal] rather than negative junk [aka noise], BUT the result is the same: the attention is on you.

Not that giving attitude is anything new.

In fact back when the world was a more genteel place free from 24/7 news and social media, I’m sure people gave attitude— just in more subtle ways. They may have been irritated by events and other people, but seemingly they tolerated that irritation with more grace than today*.

Case in point is Miss Nettie Briggs. She is featured in the professional portrait seen at the top of this post. She is looking placid, mildly amused by what she is doing.

Or so it seems to me.

I found this photo mixed in among the boxes of family photos that I sorted last summer and wrote about in Confessions Of A Reluctant Family Historian: My Kingdom For A Shredder, my most popular post of 2024. [Go figure?]

I don’t know for sure who Miss Nettie Briggs was: my mother had written her name on the back of the photo so she knew who she was. But there’s no one left from any generation that’d be able to tell me Miss Nettie Briggs’s story.

However I have an inkling of who she might have been.

I remember my mother talking about a nurse who came to live with her family for a year, tasked with looking after my mother’s older sister who’d had abdominal surgery. Something that at the time was a dangerous procedure that required months of bedrest in order to heal.

Nettie lived with them and when not looking after her charge, who slept a lot, she read books to and played games with my mother and her younger sister.

Mom liked Miss Nettie Briggs, as I recall. Enough, I would guess, to keep a photo of Miss Nettie Briggs around in a ratty cardboard box full of dusty old family photos for me to find one day.

I adore Miss Nettie Briggs because I find her charming.

Thus it has come to be that Nettie’s photo is now framed and hanging on the wall in our study where I do my blogging, old-school style on a desktop computer.

Meaning that whenever I do anything related to blogging Nettie is looking over my shoulder, keeping my thoughts mostly civil, my sense of humor firmly intact, and my vibe jovial enough.

At least most days.

Questions of the Day

What’s your attitude today? Are you receiving the kind of attention you want?  
Do you have any old family photos of somebody who is a mystery to you? 
Do you have any old or new photos of people framed and hanging on your walls? Once upon a time that was frowned upon you know!

• 🤎 •

* Last month in various places online I, a kind-hearted person, was criticized for:

  • watching TV shows rather than reading books
  • suggesting that not all men are worthy of adoration
  • noting the demographics of people who got in my way
  • proposing that not all old things are worth saving
  • not obsessing constantly about The Donald and his First Buddy

217 thoughts on “I’m Pleased To Announce That Miss Nettie Briggs Has Entered The Chat”

  1. It’s a very “judgmental” time to live in. Everyone has an opinion (always did!) but today they can’t keep it to themselves. When I went through my mom’s photos many years ago, I tossed out all the ones that neither my brother or I could identify. Most were probably old neighbors. I did not find a lovely portrait like you did. I did find a lot of grade school pictures. I have one of my mom (maybe age 8?) and I never would have identified her if her name wasn’t on the back of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kate, yes, yes! You’re right: Everyone has an opinion (always did!) but today they can’t keep it to themselves. That’s exactly what’s going on in just about every place online, and in real life, I go.

      I had a similar experience as your age 8 mom photo. There’s a group photo of my mother’s 6th grade class and no way would I have known she was who she was if she had not told me.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I cannot tell you how much I love that you had Miss Nettie Briggs framed and mounted on your wall! That is just the coolest thing.

    I gave my mother’s photos back to her so that she could go through them and toss the ones that meant nothing to her before I scan them – sometimes we see smart things on FB! My aunt is the holder of the oldest pictures so I am due to go for a look-see because now I am curiouser and curiouser.

    My attititude today is a positive one, despite being tired. Today, I know for sure and certain, I will go for a walk. Yesterday, I talked myself out of my lunchtime meander because 1) it was bleeping cold 2) my back was sore from being over-tired and 3) I am so enjoying reading The Secret Garden (which is shocking that it is my first read!), I decided to give myself more time with Mary, Dickon and Colin 🙂

    As for attention received, it’s a mix of just right and not enough (from various sources)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dale, having Nettie here in this room with me makes me happier than makes any sense, I know that. I’ve taken to greeting her each morning when I enter the room, so YES I’m nuts.

      I sat down with my mother years ago so she could tell me what she knew about the people in many photos, but somehow Nettie wasn’t part of that day. Nettie’s photo was in a different box than the one with all the photos mom explained to me.

      Sometimes not going for a walk is more healthful than going for one. I’m glad you listened to your body and did what was best for you. I’ve only read bits of The Secret Garden, not the whole book straight thru.

      Good take on receiving attention, I relate to what you’re saying. Feel the same way, why so much in one place, almost crickets in another. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t think you’re nuts. I love that you greet her in the morning (how much sillier is it than greeting a dog or cat?) If she makes you happier, to boot? Win, meet, Win.

        That’s a bummer that Nettie wasn’t in the “go-through-box”. Then again, I think it’s kinda cool that you have this mystery!

        Yes, I think you are right. I am enjoying the language, the writing, the lack of irony and sarcasm. Sometimes sweet is the way to go.

        Thank you 😉 At work, I wanted a bit more attention, i.e. for them to realise I am worth more and can do more interesting things than print out labels for all youse guyz who have no clue how to – now I am on a cool project that scares me because it is all new! (It’s good to feel challenged, I say.)

        Liked by 1 person

        • Win, Meet, Win! That’s a brilliant way to talk about my relationship with Nettie. I like the mystery aspect about her, too. I don’t need to know everything about everyone in real life or in old photos. I can be happy not knowing.

          I know that I waver on the being challenged thing. I want more, to do more, in theory BUT then remember how comfortable I am doing what I’m doing already. I bet you’ll do great with your cool project.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Absolutely! Plus, what a conversation starter for visitors to your home 😉

            Right! It is a Catch-22. I hate being bored (which I have been) but then, I don’t want to feel too much pressure. I watch my co-workers sweating it while I am taking my full lunch-hour (and not feeling guilty whatsoever, btw) and think… I do NOT want to get to their level – which, if I am honest, won’t happen because it’s not my jam to do “over and above” my pay scale. I will never get the doing 14-16 hour days for someone else!

            Liked by 1 person

            • You speak for many: if I am honest, won’t happen because it’s not my jam to do “over and above” my pay scale. Unless the prize for doing more, more, more is a huge financial boon, then doing what is asked of you, doing it conscientiously, is the way to go. I get it.

              Liked by 1 person

              • I am always dumbfounded when I hear of people burning out for their job – and we’re not talking 6-figure-incomes, either.
                I remember reading somewhere where a person asked them what the best part of their job was and he answered, “my paycheque”. There is nothing I would do for work for nothing. Plain and simple. However, I will strive to do my job well. I walk out the door at the end of the day, I’m no longer thinking I’d work! (And when I do, I get so mad! 😂)

                Liked by 1 person

  3. I have a picture of my great grandparents. It was in a book published by my dad’s cousin sister. No mystery in that but I do not know who has the original picture! My great grandfather had 12 kids and many grandchildren. The dad’s cousin who published the book is long gone and family out of touch! That is the mystery associated with the picture! 😃

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love Miss Netty’s facial expression and the fact that she hangs out with you – literally – in your space. And I love that there’s a little mystery around her.
    We have an old portrait of a sea-faring dude that my mother-in-law loved (she said he was a distant ancestor) and I like to think he keeps watch over us. Comforting, somehow. 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I just love saying “Miss Nettie Briggs” don’t you? Over and over…just rolls off the tongue!

    I hope that I’m not receiving much attention at all actually. I’m mostly just fine keeping a low profile in life and when I need to increase my attention I rant to my kids, who thankfully all carry the same opinions as I do!

    The youngest organized old photos years ago. Most of the old family was labeled. I applaud my ancestors for that. No mysteries in my background.

    I have my kids, grandkids and grand dogs hanging on the walls. Why was it frowned upon? Nevermind, I asked AI but won’t reveal the answer. Fascinating reasons however.

    I think that we need a more in-depth post on the personal criticism aspects you noted. How dare anyone give Ally Bean attitude, except perhaps for Miss Nettie Briggs.

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    • Deb, I love saying Miss Nettie Briggs, too— although when I talk to her throughout the day I’ve taken to calling her Nettie sometimes.

      I know how you feel about not getting attention. I’ve never been entirely comfortable being in the limelight so to be cruising along under the radar is not a bad thing.

      When it comes to why you don’t hang photographs on your walls, I only know that it was at one time considered tacky. You put artwork on your walls, framed personal photos on your dressing table or piano or some such. BUT I don’t know the why behind doing that. Please share your knowledge!

      I am going to rise above the people who criticized me by not giving them the light of day. Suffice to say I wasn’t being a troll or difficult, just being truthful… which seems to get me in all sorts of trouble.

      Liked by 1 person

      • AI told me 2 points on hanging folks on the walls: “tacky” yes in terms of signifying that economically if you hung family you did not have the means to purchase nice art for display. It was a sign of low status to hang your family on the wall. The other one AI pointed to was privacy. Not okay to display folks who did not consent or perhaps who were of dubious character.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I hadn’t put together the low status part of being tacky, but it makes sense. Of course, having proper artwork demonstrated that you were well off. Of a better class.

          I adore the second reason. People of dubious character on your walls? Yes that’d be a bad thing. Talk about bringing negative karma into your home, your life. No one needs that.

          Liked by 1 person

  6. We have this family portrait of a woman in the surf in a 1920s bathing suit, thoroughly enjoying herself. My husband said he grew up calling her Aunt Alice, that’s what his parents called her, even though there is no Aunt Alice on on the family tree or even a Great Aunt Alice. We love the photo, so it always hangs somewhere, a mystery woman.

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  7. I have a pretty good attitude today considering the whole political situation. I’ll go for a ramble today – I do most days – to keep my life in proper focus.

    Most of my photos are gone; one of my children wanted them and has them; a retirement goal of mine is to not leave a big clean-up behind, including photos. I have one or two people photos hanging on the walls but mostly because the natural world around them dwarfs them or places them in the greater perspective of living things. I like the fact that you are enjoying Nettie’s photo.

    I’m sorry to hear that you have been experiencing the criticisms you shared. So many people want us to do things their way (very often the people who hammer on this the most are the ones who should learn the virtues of silence) and in this media dominated world that often-undesirable human tendency is louder than ever.

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    • Lynette, I like your reason for going for a walk. I need to adopt that logic as a way of motivating myself to move more while attempting to cope with whatever the heck the current regime is doing to this country.

      I didn’t find many photos that showed the natural world around a person. I hadn’t thought about that, so thanks for saying it. I’m the end of the line for all of the photos I have and even with all I culled last summer there are a lot more here.

      Yes, I agree about the virtue of silence when it comes to personal details that don’t matter. It’s not like I’m a troll or a troublemaker or even anyone important, but people online do like to attack, don’t they? I’m not disheartened by what happened, just noting it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. No, I don’t have any old photos of unidentified family friends/relatives like Miss Nettie Briggs. I like that she’s been framed and is now looking over your shouldler while you work on your computer. Feels somehow fitting.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This comment might get duplicated by WordPress, but it will be criticism free — your blog, your rules. Besides, I have no complaints.

    Nettie sounds like an interesting person to have looking over you, perhaps an occasional muse? I have a collage of photos of my father, his mother, and my mother I have another group of me, our daughter and my brother. I have a framed photo of my wife, but it’s not displayed anywhere in the house. It sat in my office when I was working.

    My attitude varies, but it’s generally upbeat That’s just the way I am, I can’t help it.

    I hope you have a wonderful week.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dan, I’m laughing and appreciate your criticism-free comment. It’s not that difficult to be pleasant online about small things that don’t really matter. All you have to do is say “thank you for sharing” then move on, BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN DO THAT.

      I bet you’re right that Nettie will be an occasional muse. I know collage photos are popular, I’ve seen many of them in a frame and on a wall. Fun to look at.

      Yes, I’ve noticed that you’re naturally upbeat. I like that about you. I’m in good spirits now that it’s no longer February and I can see something cheerful outside my window.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. My sister is organizing the family photos. I was surprised at the number of “Nettie Briggs” that come up when I searched online.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ellen D., I know! I researched her name online and found out that even knowing which state to look in didn’t narrow it down much. Plus no idea when the portrait was taken: 1900–1920 perhaps? It could have been a photo of Miss Nettie Briggs when she was younger than when my mother knew her.

      Like

  11. I inherited a box of photos when my mom’s much older brother died. Including pictures of people long gone, with names and no context. None of the photos are as good as Nettie’s, though. Looking at your list of judgmental jerks on the internet, I once again wonder why so many people feel entitled to share their opinions when they could just shrug and say, “You do you, I’m gonna scroll on by.” I’m all for calling out folks who are abusive or bigoted, especially in positions of power, but not everything is for everyone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Autumn, Miss Nettie Briggs’s photo called to me. When I was going through the boxes of family photos I didn’t find a lot of formal photos— so how could I not stop and save hers?

      Yep I, too, wonder why more people don’t adopt the “good for you, not for me” adage. I didn’t say anything outrageous or inflammatory, just my truth but that was enough to make some difficult folks unhappy. HOW DARE I SAY SOMETHING THEY DON’T AGREE WITH! 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Nettie looks quite young in that photo. Love that she lives on through you.
    I have many old photo albums from my father’s family that are filled with people I don’t know. Sad, that…

    Liked by 1 person

    • River, I wonder if this formal photo of Nettie was one she gave my mother when Nettie was older. Maybe because mom was a kid who’d get a kick out of an older photo? Don’t know for sure.

      I had the same situation with my father’s family + friends photos. Plus I had lots of photos from his courtship of and marriage to his first wife… who hated my mother, his second wife. That’s a thing to deal with.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I can give attitude when I get it. But this online stuff is just mean and crass and, many times, spewed without knowing the facts. Who wants to fall into that category of human being. Certainly not me. The last thing I want to do is come across as stupid.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenn, I agree with you of course. If I’d said something willfully ignorant or intentionally inflammatory then I might have deserved some criticism. But was just joining in the public conversations, adding my sensible 2¢ worth. It was probably the being sensible that got me in trouble. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

      • I find these days whatever we say, there is someone who will disagree or be offended. I once got attacked because of a simple piece of advice I put on a gardening site. I responded very politely to this but never engaged on that site again. Because of this type of behaviour I say less and less. I just don’t want to be in the middle of that kind of stuff. I do have strong opinions, I just don’t share them on line. Sorry that you had this experience. I know it is not pleasant.

        Liked by 1 person

        • You said it: there is someone who will disagree or be offended. I know you’re correct and I let most of that type of criticism roll off me. If there’s one thing know after writing a blog for as long as I have, someone will find fault with something I’ve said or how I said it or when I said it.

          You can’t control other people, just decide how you’ll react to them. Which means, like you, I’m saying less on social media sites. I’m kind of lukewarm about them to begin with so this an easy shift for me.

          Liked by 1 person

  14. I have photos around but all of them are in stand frames and sitting on desks, book cases, or side tables. The walls though, they are the art gallery. Every room (yes, even that one) has something or some things in the wall. And now that I’m looking around at them as I write this, I find most of them were done by me. I guess I’m my own best collector. Many of them are of places I’ve been where I’ve snapped a picture and then used that as a model for a painting. They hold memories as well as, or maybe better than the original photograph becuase I got to spend so much time thinking of the wherever it was while I was painting it.
    I find it amazing the things people will criticize today, or as had been mentioned, perhaps always had criticize but now willing to verbalize. And speaking as a man, I absolutely agree than not all men are worthy of adoration. Just us good ones! 🤓

    Liked by 1 person

    • Micheal, I didn’t know you were an artist who painted your own artwork for your walls. That is wonderful and it makes sense that you’d display your artwork on your walls, save the people photos for elsewhere.

      I have a friend who paints her pictures from photos she took. She says the same thing about how lovely it is to spend more time thinking about where she was when she took the photo.

      You and Z-D are on the same page about not all males deserve adoration just for being male. Funny how all you good ones know that.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m so un-with-it it could be pathetic, but I guess I don’t care. When I came to this — “I prefer, and I think you’d agree, that the attitude be positive spunk [aka signal] rather than negative junk [aka noise], BUT the result is the same: the attention is on you” — I read it about sixteen times and still couldn’t make sense of it, so I moved on to Miss Nettie and your questions!

    I don’t have any photos of unidentified people any longer because, after passing a couple hundred of those around to various relatives, we discovered that none of us could identify any of the people, so the whole boxful went to a local shop that specialized in vintage postcards, photos, and so on. Someone might find them useful.

    I have two framed photos on my walls. One is a studio photo of my mother, age six months. It’s in one of those old oval frames with a curved glass frame, and it’s big. I know her age because there’s a smaller identical photo with her name and age written on the back. The other is an artistic rendering of an actual photo of cowgirl Helen Bonham using her saddle as a desk out on the range. I have the piece of art hanging above my desk, too.
    Here’s the piece.

    Beneath the image, the artist wrote: “While rodeo cowgirl Helen Bonham corresponded religiously back home, she would never have imagined that one day letters would travel at the blink of an eye. She would have ridden cyberspace with the same daring as she did her horse. Saint Helen protects the sending and receiving of email and the mystery of it all.”

    I’ll bet Miss Nettie will do the same for you!

    Like

    • Linda, I’ve reread what you mentioned. All I’m saying, in a conversational tone, is that signal is better than noise. Perhaps I should be more blunt next time. Forget about being chit-chatty.

      I like the picture of St. Helen, didn’t know she’d been dubbed Protector of Email. I wrote about St. Isidore of Seville here. The Catholic Church made him Patron Saint of Electronics and the Internet in 1999.

      Wonder if Helen and Isidore have met in heaven? Maybe they could look in on Nettie. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  16. What’s your attitude today? Are you receiving the kind of attention you want?

    My attitude today is kinda meh. And absolutely thrilling at the same time. I am receiving a lot of great attention these past days and that’s amazing! I broke a views record of 90 yesterday which is more than awesome for my new blog. I hope I’ll get to see those kinds of numbers more often.

    The meh part is due to the state of the world. Nothing surprises me anymore and I’m still shooketh at what the F is going on.

    Do you have any old family photos of somebody who is a mystery to you?

    I probably have, but I don’t know where they are.

    Do you have any old or new photos of people framed and hanging on your walls? Once upon a time that was frowned upon you know!

    No, that is a personal detail of course but I can tell you that I don’t have any photos on my walls. Or anything at all, really. All white boring walls here and that’s fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh, Ally, I love this. I love that Nettie is on your blog for someone to find many years from now. I also love that you have a framed picture of her in your study. Now I want to go through really old picture boxes at my mom’s house. I’m headed there later today, so I just might.

    I’m sorry you were criticized for all of those things. I notice they all have one thing in common—online. Where humans are brave behind a computer screen and sometimes say really crappy things. Sending you a hug. 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kari, I went through thousands of photos last summer, kept many that I could identify and liked, but Miss Nettie Briggs remains a mystery. It’s part of her charm I believe. If you find any interesting old photos at your mom’s house, you can share them online too. If you want to of course.

      Thanks for the hug. I too noticed that I was online when I was criticized for my polite contributions to conversations. I didn’t snap back at anyone but also will being giving up wordy social media, like Threads and Bluesky, for Lent. Maybe longer. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Maybe the day will come where we can snap a photo of Miss Nettie Briggs with our smartphones and AI will scour the world’s digital coffers to tell us everything we want to know about her. In the meantime, the unknown is delicious. I was coming up with all sorts of conclusions from her facial expression alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dave, you could be right that eventually the www will tell me exactly who she was, but it doesn’t bother me not knowing for sure. I agree about her facial expression, it’s enigmatic with a dash of pre-amusement.

      Like

  19. My attitude today (on a solo vacation in southern Arizona) is fab! Being ignored by the world is fine with me.
    I have an entire wall in our stairwell showcasing old family photos. It gets positive remarks from visitors. On the wall in front of my computer I keep pictures of the people I’m writing books about. Front and center, top of mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene, your vacation sounds delightful. I can imagine that the change of scenery is refreshing. I haven’t been that way in a long time, to a midwesterner AZ is most unique.

      We don’t have any other photos of people on our walls, just Miss Nettie Briggs. I’ve seen stairwells decorated like yours and it is endlessly interesting. I’m sure that having people looking at you would keep them in the forefront of your thoughts. Nettie is behind me on a wall, keeping me in line.

      Liked by 1 person

  20. First thing I did was search the genealogy sites for Nettie Briggs. Talk about crazy! I only know 1 detail…oh well lots of crazy today.
    As to attitude today , get it done despite yesterday’s hard fall on the ice. So off to do my HIIT workout.

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    • Bernie, thanks for looking up Nettie to see what you’d find. I researched her online and discovered there were and are many Nettie Briggs. That surprised me.

      Hope you’re doing okay after your fall, if it’s not one thing it’s another. Hope exercising helps you feel better.

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    • Marian, once I put Miss Nettie Briggs photo on the wall I knew I had to write about her. She deserves to be featured.

      A balanced attitude is admirable. With so many things to send us over the edge, hang onto the balance as long as you can.

      Like

  22. We have a picture, from early last century or late the century before, of a husband and wife, obviously very Irish, and he’s got this look on his face that could melt glass. All I can think is that he has a bad case of wind. I can even picture the guy sayng “I’VE GOT WIND!”

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  23. ”It’s a very “judgmental” time to live in,” said your first commenter and I just have to agree. From cancel culture to ”karens” (I feel sorry for everyone who was happy to have that name), opinions are stated in such a dramatic way that there is no room for negotiation or thought-swapping analysis, just B&W. Like your President.

    As for photos, why yes, I did just recently frame and hang somw new ones of my kids! 🤩 My attitude today: let’s see how long they get to hang there before a nuclear bomb sweeps them away (though I guess I won’t be here to see it if that happens. Maybe a lone survivor of the apocalypse will find our photos in the ruins of our building and make up names for us an hang them on the wall?)

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    • Snow, you know I agree with you about these judgmental times in which we live, courtesy of social media and 24/7 news. So many people have strong opinions, tightly held, and feel immediately threatened if your opinion doesn’t align with theirs. I find that attitude weirder than weird.

      Your imaginary scenario for what’ll happen to your framed people photos, is horrifying but also hilarious. Always looking on the bright side of life, are ‘ya? 😜

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  24. How lovely that you have discovered Miss Nettie and made her a part of your life! I’m sure she’s a better conversationalist than many people are! My attitude has improved so much since leaving social media. I felt like people were looking for ways to be offended and offensive. Now, I feel more able to pay attention and stay informed while protecting my energy. Like you said, curating the news.

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    • Michelle G., I’m laughing out loud at your line: I’m sure she’s a better conversationalist than many people are! NO DOUBT you’re right that and how some people are looking for ways to be offended. True dat.

      For Lent I’m giving up wordy social media, like Threads and Bluesky. I know no one there will miss me but I’d like to find out if I’ll miss being there. If I don’t want to go back, so be it— I’ll follow your lead. Protecting my energy is a good way to say it.

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  25. I love that you’ve discovered this photo and given Nettie Briggs a place on your study wall.
    The is a sweet story. A real sign of the times.

    I inherited all of my uncle’s family photo albums. His wife and his children proceeded him in death. My sister suggested I just toss them out. I couldn’t do it. Eventually I probably will. There are photos in there of people I don’t know, but most are various stages of the four of them. When he passed, I inherited a large framed photo of my young cousin and I. He was about 4 and I was about 8. It hung in their home, and I’d never seen it before. I hung it in my study too. It’s a sweet memory of simpler, happier times.

    I’ve been criticized online too. Someone took the opportunity with a funny, family moment that I shared to school me: “You can’t change people, you can only control how you react.” Gee, where would I be without that unsolicited advice? I guess I’d be in the same healthy place, laughing at the situation. What even?

    Sorry you’ve been criticized for noting the demographics . . . why are facts not OK to share in the retelling of a story? Why do some people think their reading/TV habits should be adopted by others? I’m not a fan of the Don, and I’ve been made to feel like not obsessing over him is a sign of me not caring enough or that I’m not doing my part. People are exhausting.

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    • I forgot – my attitude today: I woke up and decided to tackle some emails that needed to be sent. I guess my attitude is one of accomplishing the things on my list. One thing I want to tackle is a situation at our high school. I do not want the attention. I want to stay in the background, and my hope is that I can organize the other upset people (um, every parent with a kid in sports, so lots of people) while remaining in the background. (because of our lawsuit last year – if it looks like I’m leading the charge, that might detract from the mission).

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      • ernie, you’re in a unique position when it comes to your high school situation. The sports department sounds, shall we say, confused about their mission. I’ve no experience with anything you’re trying to do, but am sure you’ll find a way. Good luck with that list.

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    • ernie, I’m enjoying sharing my office space with Miss Nettie Briggs. She’s a force for good, I just know it. Plus it’s a cool photo. Your photo of you and your cousin sounds just a cool.

      I’m laughing. Gee, where would I be without that unsolicited advice? I just wrote that line about controlling your reaction in a comment here but I was referring to myself and how I deal with criticism. Like you I don’t need someone to school me with it.

      YES! The fact that I was criticized for sharing facts, observable facts, is beyond me. I was being truthful and descriptive about what happened to me, nothing more sinister than that.

      Ditto about The Donald situation. I care, I’m aware, but I’m not going to put my life on hold by obsessing over him. In fact living whole might be the best way to resist him and his ilk.

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      • I agree – nothing sinister in describing people. So silly.

        I feel refreshed to read your ‘not going to put my life on hold’ perspective, because I’ve felt like some people are glaring at me, thinking I’m not doing my part if I’m NOT obsessing.

        I once referred to my niece as a monster on my blog and someone (who decided to be anonymous) scolded me, asking how I could think that about my own niece. Well, just because someone else has a mentally stable niece doesn’t meant that I don’t have a niece who is narcissistic. People exhaust me and I’ve thought a few times in the last few months about not blogging anymore. Then I think – they win, if I let them get to me. So, I try to ignore.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I know how you feel about being glared at for going on with my life as it is. Remember the old saying: living well is the best revenge? That’s how I’m thinking about this debacle of a presidency. I’m revenging here.

          I’m smiling about your description of your niece. Knowing you as I do I’ve no doubt you described her perfectly, yet I also know people can get bent out of shape when you tell the truth. Yes, people are exhausting, but ignoring the tedious ones can be difficult. Glad you’re staying in blogland, but would understand if you felt you needed to drop out.

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  26. I mean my attitude today is sort of judgmental, to be honest. I’m losing respect BY THE SECOND of people who are ignoring what’s happening in this country. But, you know, I’m also just doing my regular work, so that’s a thing. The mundane along with the profane.

    Liked by 1 person

    • NGS, I know how you feel about those people who should be defending our Constitution but are sitting around twiddling their thumbs. Our Senators and Representatives could be doing something, anything, to stop this regime change, but they don’t. Greed over country, I guess.

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  27. Ally, what an interesting find and worthy of your disposition (hang Nettie on the wall). My parents finally agreed they needed help and just last month moved into an assisted living facility. My sister promptly packed me 4 banker sized boxes of photos. I’ve been texting her pictures asking how much is it worth keeping this photo off social media. Turns out my father was having a love affair with his front door and the wreath on the wall outside – 100 pictures of the door and wreath are a bit much.

    To the question at hand. I gave up worrying what others think of my behavior – I have to live with it, not them. Give attention, get attention is in interesting topic in these days of social media. It appears to me most people are into the “get attention” mode. Which is why I ignore social media and the attention seekers as I am giving them the attention they warrant. They are not interested in me and I am all about reciprocity.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Danny, I’m glad your parents are somewhere safe, but I also know that going through boxes of old family photos is tedious. I about lost my mind last summer doing it. I, however, didn’t find 100 photos of a front door + wreath. I’m laughing about that.

      From what I can tell many people are more interested in getting attention, regardless what it is for, than reciprocating attention. I don’t mind being ignored but I do note when and where it happens. I do mind being criticized for saying truthful sensible things, but also know it’s not worth it to me to snap back. Blocking people is more fun.

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  28. When my mother died, I “inherited” a box of photo albums and loose photos, none of which are identified and hardly any even dated. I haven’t a clue who most of these people are, and there is no living human being who could identify them. I know I should just toss everything, but that just feels so callous–these were all once living, loving, vital people…. Perhaps I should adopt a few, give them names (Penelope, Rupert, Lord Alderhoof…), and hang them on my walls. But how soon before they start judging me?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, I know what you mean about callus. I went through that feeling last summer when I spent weeks going through boxes of photos and memorabilia. I toughened up eventually and decided if I don’t know who is in the photo &/or I don’t love the photo, then it goes into the shredder. No second guessing myself.

      Of course now that you mention how Miss Nettie Briggs might someday start judging me, I’m a bit worried— but I think I’ll be okay. 😉

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  29. I tossed a bunch of photos after my dad died. He had several metal boxes containing photos on slides. Based on the clothing worn by the people in the photos, I’m guessing they were taken in the 1940s or 50s. I had no idea who any of the people were and no way to find out, so into the trash they went.

    One of the many complaints my MIL had about me was that I “hung our photos too high on the wall.” (I also had the wrong people in the background of the photos I took.)🙄

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, I have some of an aunt’s slides from the 1940s but I have yet to look at them. After I finished with the boxes of loose photos, I needed to take a break. I understand your decision.

      You hung your photos too high on the wall. Well, obviously you did it on purpose just to annoy her. What a weird thing to complain about! Laughing about your wrong people. Some people just cannot not find fault.

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  30. Well, despite the (unwarranted) criticisms aimed at you this past month, let me say this:

    Keep Steering Your Own Ship!

    The more I tune out The Donald and his First Buddy, the happier I am. They are proof positive that all men are NOT worthy of adoration and that not all OLD things are worthy of saving! Let’s hope they both sink below the horizon in short order.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nancy, I’m pretty good at steering my own ship. I like that saying. It’s a new one for me.

      I take the online criticism to be proof that I’m on the right course, doing my own thing, my own way. Talking sense. Which might be why some people got upset with what I said.

      Laughing about how you put together three of the criticisms leveled at me, which were separate topics, but do dovetail together nicely. Well said. 😊

      Like

  31. I’m not hearing from people which is disturbing at times. I send emails or texts and hear nothing back. I understand that others need space yet I do worry. I like her half smile! Old photos capture the essence (at that moment) of someone long dead which is both eerie and charming. What you got castigated for on-line, oh, my. I’m “guilty” of some of those too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, yes not hearing back is becoming a thing, isn’t it? I don’t know what’s up with that. I’m beginning to see more of that too.

      Nettie’s half smile is a delight. I suppose she had to sit still [?] for a minute or two so she glued on a placid look on her face. That’s what I would do.

      I did not say anything outlandish nor inflammatory but some people are primed to find fault, cause trouble, to get attention I suppose. And there I was being nice, a perfect easy target.

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  32. That’s a great photo to have watching you blog. I have a huge velvet covered family photo album of people I don’t know and a few I do. My grandmother is an infant in it and she was born in 1901. I also have a collection of cook booklets from the late 1890s and early 1900s that my great grandmother Nellie published and sold throughout the country. I want to republish them someday!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Nettie was a pretty young lady. She looks maybe 18 in the picture.
    I have a picture of my great grandmother on my dresser. She is 18 and it is just a day before her wedding. I also have a picture ID of my great grandfather. One of his jobs was driving a cab. Another picture of my great grandmother shows her at the age of 30 with a shovel clearing off their front yard. I have many pictures of family on the piano and walls. I love looking at them.
    None of those criticisms of you are true. People can be so anonymously cruel.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Beth, I agree that Nettie looks young. If I have the story straight I can’t imagine that Nettie would have been this young and a nurse, but who knows.

      You have many family photos around your house. Some sound delightfully unique. If you enjoy seeing them then it doesn’t matter whether the photos are on walls or on flat surfaces. Whatever feathers your nest.

      I’m not taking the online criticisms seriously. I only mentioned them because what I said was benign, yet elicited strange responses over nothing worth criticizing. People are getting weirder by the day.

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  34. What a great photo! When my mom was alive and we took some bus trips to the local casino I would bring a stack of old photos to look at with her and have her tell me who the people were that I didn’t know. I made notes to help me remember. I’m glad I did. Some even she couldn’t remember but I may use those in junk journal projects. I didn’t know about the not hanging family photos on the wall. Interestingly, the photos on our wall when I was growing up were professional portraits of me and my three sisters, each taken when we were about the same age. Maybe those didn’t count as tacky since they were professionally done? I may get criticized as well since I definitely don’t think all men are worthy of adoration. Reading your posts always put me in a good mood, at least until I read something else stupid that the guy not worthy of adoration did.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janet, your way of spending time on the bus with your mom was ingenious. What a simple way to get the details of who’s who. I’m glad you took notes.

      You raise a good point about professional [non-tacky?] photos versus other ones that weren’t *allowed* on the walls. I have no answer. My mother put framed photos of people on the walls of her house, but once she moved to an apartment she didn’t. Maybe a space issue.

      I’m glad I brought some goodness into your day today. Miss Nettie Briggs does that to a person. I agree that you can’t ignore what that guy not worthy of adoration did, knowing it’ll be something stupid— but you can step away from it every so often. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. I want you to know that you are on my mind more than you would suspect these days. You are a person that I keep in mind when I think about America. I am Canadian, so I am heartsick about what is happening between our two countries. It’s so easy to be angry at all of America. We are so angry at America. But then I think of you and I remember that there are so many fantastic, kind-hearted, compassionate, heartwarming Americans in the world, so I must keep the faith.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Arlene, you flatter me. Thank you. And you’re right in that not all Americans are the like the mindless dolts you see interviewed on the news.

      The thing I hang onto about all of this ridiculousness is that more American voters voted for someone other than Trump: that is the votes for Harris + third party > the votes for Trump. He doesn’t have a mandate, and while he’s destroying everything good in his path, he is less liked than he thinks he is. I hope that reality comes back to get him in the end.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. My attitude could improve today. I did a round of errands and couldn’t help but look around and think to myself I wonder when the last time any, and I mean any, of those folks in DC, either party, did their own grocery shopping, checked prices based on budget, or filled their car with gas. I was at self-check and noticed a woman in a wheelchair. She had a helper with her. As he would scan an item, she would tell him if she had enough money. When they hit a little over $20 she had to decide what to take off. Okay, I’m done with that. 🙂 I do have some photos that I can’t connect names to, and I do have some older family photos displayed. I check in with those folks when I walk by. 🙂 As for commenting on social media, I refrain unless I really know the person and the community. One time, I made what I thought was a logical comment, and I got hammered by another person. I decided then and there I had no interest in online debating about any topic. I also think of that old saying about if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything. 🙂 Happy Tuesday!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Judy, you’re definitely onto something about how most of the fools in Washington don’t know the first thing about daily life in the real world. They don’t seem to understand why sane Americans are angry with everything that’s going on. My guess being, as you alluded to, that they don’t care as long as they’ve got their expenses covered.

      I’m happy to know you check in with your older [photographed] family when you see them around the house. How charming is that!

      I don’t take social media too seriously so I also don’t take criticism lobbed at me seriously. But it was odd to say a few sensible things in various conversations, then find people muttering about what I said. All I could think was: “REALLY? This is where you want to put your energy, disagreeing with me?” People suck. Not you of course.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, sure, let’s ride! Sadly I couldn’t tell you where half my critics are because on social media like Threads or Bluesky conversations aren’t among a select few, they’re more like with every Tom, Dick, and Harry [special emphasis on the middle guy’s name].

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  38. People always have an opinion no matter the era. Though opinions were more genteel and less vociferous back in the day, because they were shared within a small circle. We now live in a time where information can cross the globe instantly. And that includes opinions. Though so much of it is loosely based on emotion rather than facts.

    I love your story about Nettie. And yes, I have many old pictures of ancestors I know nothing about. I wish they could speak.

    You in the meantime, keep being you and letting Nettie hangout over your shoulder.
    Love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Life with Alegria, smart point. Back in the day the circles in which we shared our opinions were much smaller and local. It was easier to know who was for you and who was against you because you saw people in person.

      I’m glad you have some older photos of ancestors who are a mystery to you. In some ways that’s why I find Nettie intriguing. Plus her smile of course.

      I’ll take your advice: Me is me, and Nettie this shall see. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

    • Joanne, sounds like you’re in a similar situation with the old photos from your mother. If nothing else, thinking on Miss Nettie Briggs I’ve decided there’s nothing wrong with framing photos you like just cuz.

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  40. Have you tried looking Nettie up on a genealogy source? I’ve had great luck with family search. Yes, I have tons of photos without names on the back. It takes a lot of sleuthing, but I actually enjoy doing it.

    I had to leave Reddit because of the nasty comments, so I get it. I should write a post about the stupid things people have attempted to pick a fight with me online.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bijoux, I’ve looked up Nettie online using a search engine, but am not part of any particular genealogical website do NO. I know that many of us have photos with no names on the back, it’s not uncommon.

      I’ve never been on Reddit but I can imagine how people behave there. If you write a post about stupid people saying stupid things you know I’m there for it. 🤨

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  41. She’s a gem and I’m glad to know she’s with you while you’re blogging with us. I like that you at least know she was with your family members for an important time. I’ve come across so many photos of people who I WISH I knew who they were.

    Ain’t it something to be criticized online by people who you’d generally think were kind humans? I’ve been scrutinized on my own blog about things that were so trivial by some well meaning person. It’s funny, but when I see a blog friend has shared something I don’t agree with, I just look past it and find something nice to say. How weird is that?

    Ally, I’m generally always in an upbeat mood—it’s my choice to do so whether I love the way the rest of the world is feeling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suz, I like Nettie and once I realized how snazzy she’d look framed and hanging on the wall in our study, I was a woman with a mission.

      I agree that it’s the oddest thing to be criticized online by strangers. IF I’D SAID SOMETHING CONTROVERSIAL, then I’d get it. But I was just chatting with no malice involved.

      You remind me of something that happened years ago here on this blog. I’d shared a photo of a bunch of cookbooks that I keep on the kitchen counter within easy reach. They’re in no particular order, just standing up straight so I can see which one to grab at a glance. A commenter came along and laid into me for not keeping the cookbooks in a perfect formation of tallest on the left to shortest on the right. He was horrified by how disorganized I was because… who knows? He didn’t have to say a word, yet many words he said. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

        • That’s what I thought too. I was amazed but also fascinated by how everything else I wrote in the post was lost to him… all he took away from it was I was organizing my cookbooks wrong.

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  42. Perhaps, it’s all about triggers (their excuse) for some people to start criticizing another. Sometimes they need no excuse. I do enjoy a story about women with attitude and especially back then when it took real courage to stand by your convictions. As far as the political upheaval goes, I stay well clear of any conversations as I would rather use my energy on other issues.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Suzanne, no doubt you’re right that some people are easily triggered by just about anything. I don’t really engage much online, only dip in and out of social media, but last month I ended up in the wrong places. Seemingly innocent places, though. That’s my takeaway from it, people are stressed everywhere. Avoid them all. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  43. So many transgressions, Ally! What would we do without the Internet to scold us for our mistakes?

    Love the story of Nettie Briggs and the portrait! What a fun presence to have in your blogging space.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, yes, thank goodness the internet is here to keep me in line. You know how wild and out of control I can with all my strong opinions.

      Miss Nettie Briggs is a good addition to our home study. She’s a positive influence, more so than the internet. 🙄

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  44. Ally, well my attitude is not so wonderful these days, so I do a lot of muttering to myself. I don’t get any attention as I live alone, so I can mutter away but sadly no one responds. “If these walls could talk” as the saying goes.

    I digitized all the family albums, as well as my own albums and scrapbooks over Thanksgiving weekend 2017. A lot of the photos are still raw images as I had to scan some albums by putting the entire book on the platen, so the images need to be tweaked. Years ago, my mom sat down beside me and named everyone in the family albums and there were many – my grandmother was one of nine siblings. I am glad my mom didn’t follow in her mom’s footsteps offspring-wise.

    I don’t have any unnamed photos hanging on the walls or in picture frames. I can remember my grandmother having a picture of the then-current Pope hanging over the French doors in her living room. He had a place of prominence there where no other family members would ever hang.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, there’s something therapeutic about muttering about things. I do it often enough, more so in the last 6 months. Might be better to not be heard.

      You’ve got a good handle on your family photos. I’m impressed. As a fellow only child I’m chuckling at your comment about your mom not taking in her mother’s footsteps offspring-wise.

      Putting a photo of the Pope on a wall was, or maybe still is, a done thing. I remember years ago seeing photos of homes wherein his photo had a special place spreading meaning and peace over the family.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Muttering works for me Ally. I also am doing a lot of it lately too.

        Sometimes I envy my mom and her extended family when she was growing up. She would tell me how all the aunts and uncles and her cousins got together at all the holidays at her grandparents’ farm in the country and also how they all pitched in every Summer to help bring the crops in. However, when they got older, the cousins were not eager for farm life and everyone did their own thing and only saw each other at funerals … kind of sad really.

        That makes sense about the Pope’s picture. My grandmother was a staunch Catholic for her entire life.

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        • Yes, my mother talked about the same thing. Cousins who knew each other, crops being harvested. Not my reality. I’ve never decided if it is sad or freeing to be on your own, ‘ya know.

          Yes, Cathoics have shown me the way but also given me pause.

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          • You’re right – we were never part of it, so you can’t miss what you never had. My father was an atheist, my mom didn’t drive, so although I was baptized Catholic, Mom wanted me to go to church so when I was a young girl I went to Sunday school with different friends, all with different faiths.

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  45. “looking over my shoulder, keeping my thoughts mostly civil, my sense of humor firmly intact, and my vibe jovial enough.” – I love this, Ally! In fact, I think we might need to order reprints to see if we can pass on the vibe to others. Wouldn’t it be great if Nettie pictures for all could make the Internet a better place?

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  46. My brother and I found a handsome photograph of a man that might have been a suitor for our young widowed grandmother many years before. Grandmother wrote that she had to keep her promise, and we think it was to get rid of this picture.

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  49. Those were very strange things you were criticized for, especially for thinking that not all old things are worthy adoration.

    Miss Nettie Briggs looks very sweet and proper.

    I have framed photos of my grandchildren hanging on the wall in my bedroom.

    I think I recognize almost all the people in the photos I have. But my sister took over all our mom’s photo albums. She has been scanning and identifying people and places, and she’s working hard to find out who everyone is.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicki, thank you. In each of the situations where I was criticized I didn’t think I’d gone too far. I wasn’t being mean, just truthful— but you know how truth can rile up people. 😜

      You’re right, Nettie is sweet and proper, but I sense a subtle rebellion in her too. That smile!

      You remind me that I could [should?] scan our family photos but as of now they’re in boxes, old-school style. I’d only scan the photos I could definitely identify.

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  50. I am sorry to read about the online criticism. It is good to break away from such news. Even though I live in the other side of a vast ocean, I still feel the stinging inflammation of the provocative and mind- flagellating news from America and Europe. It does affect one’s mood if we read too much.
    Thus, to read about this beautiful lady with a kind face who presumably nursed your Mum to better health is delightful. I can understand why you might want to have her around!
    To answer your questions – I used to have family portraits including a wedding photo on the wall. Now I have pretty scenes from my travels. Although I keep the best and cutest family photos – on the shelves and in the stairway. I have received most of my Grandma’s photographs – from the turn of the 20th century. Several people are a mystery. I have long been on a search for a photo of my Great Grandfather – photos of Great Grandmas abound, but Great Grandfathers remains illusive. The search continues.

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    • Amanda, my critics were off their noodles. I didn’t say anything out there, they were just looking to be unhappy and there I was taking sense. Oh well…

      Yes the bad news is daily, hourly even, here. The Donald has no moral core and no filters so we live in chaos created for his amusement. I refuse to become despondent but I understand why some people are. Interestingly I don’t think I’m alone in my “keep on, keeping on” attitude, only one house on our street continues to fly the U.S. flag in front of their house. It used to be 10-12 houses with flags. This is quiet resistance for the win.

      I have the flip situation. I have great grandfather photos but no great grandmother photos. Amazing what families will save in the way of photos and who ends up with them.

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    • Deborah, I hadn’t made that connection and you’re so right. Nettie would have fit right in with that crowd. I adored Anne, read all the books, so I suppose it’s no wonder I adored Miss Nettie Briggs from the minute I first saw the photo.

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  52. How comforting and reassuring that must have been to have a nurse living in while someone in the family is recovering from surgery. Sadly, I guess that’s gone the way of doctors making house calls. Miss Nettie’s picture is very appealing and I can see why you have it hanging in your study. I do have photos of some of my ancestors framed and arranged on the shelves of my grandmother’s antique secretary in our living room.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, you’re right that the idea of a live-in nurse is now only for the super wealthy. But back then it was affordable. I bet your framed photos on that antique secretary are lovely. It sounds meaningful and beautiful.

      Liked by 1 person

  53. What a lovely reminder of a simpler time, when good graces took precedence over a loud mouthed leader spreading hatred at every turn.

    I love that you have chosen to frame Nettie and keep her close in the space that inspires you to write.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynn, yes Nettie is a good reminder of a simpler time. Not that I want to go back in time to live like she did, I like my modern appliances and conveniences. But I’d love to be able to interact with people who are respectful and civil and truthful. And quiet. 🫤

      Liked by 1 person

  54. My attitude on the day you wrote this post was shitty, Ally. I have a mild head cold, but the snottiness and something I read on FB about you-know-who did not start the day on a good foot. It is better today, still a bit snotty, but happy to be home while it snows and getting ready to make a pot of yummy soup.

    I do have some photos of people I don’t know because mom and dad never wrote on them and by the time they thought about it, their macular degeneration had taken hold. I used to have a photo of mom’s large family of mom, dad and 13 children was up on a wall for awhile, but it’s now safely tucked away with many other photos of people I do know. The neighbor did gift me a signed photo of a Star Trek actor, but it’s only hanging on a wall until I have something better to place there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mary, well no wonder you felt lousy yesterday. A head cold + anything about The Donald = YUCK! Making soup sounds like the perfect antidote to all that ails you [ails us].

      Wow, a family photo with 13 children is amazing and unusual. I don’t know if I’d like all those faces staring at me though, I’d feel judged every which way. A photo of a Star Trek actor is so you. While it may be temporary I hope it helps you “Live long and prosper!”

      Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, I get it. I don’t abide by the no framed photos on the walls decorating edict. I mean look at what I’ve shared here: Miss Nettie Briggs is with me as I write this comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  57. I was awoken at 5 AM by the rumble of trucks going down the street which, after hearing only a few seconds of our King Wannabee, gave me quite a fright “Was DOGE coming to evict us – to take away everything because, as retired folks we are worthless?” I have a picture of my great aunt Sophie who tried to help her little sister (my great grandmother). Great granny married a handsome preacher who became a strict and heartless husband. Sophie’s a very kind looking woman like your Miss Briggs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jan, I, too, wonder if that’s how The Donald [who should be retired] and his First Buddy view people 65 and over. How dare anyone grow old, remain healthy, and then expect the government to help them out‽ Outrageous, I tell you.

      I understand why you like Great Aunt Sophie’s photo. Some of these older ones are compelling, more reserved than today’s endless parade of look-at-me selfies.

      Like

  59. ALL of my family’s old photos were destroyed two years ago when there were storms that flooded both my brother’s and my sister’s basements in my hometown. I now only have two pictures of myself as a little girl. All my father’s old photos are gone; especially heartbreaking is the loss of the only extant photos of his parents. He was the only one left of the family.

    Do I think about it very often? No. But it’s hard to know that it’s all gone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • nance, I can imagine that it’s not something you’d dwell on, the loss of the photos is sad, but there’s nothing to be done about it now. I’m sorry of course, but also pleased to know that you’ve taken it in stride. Such is life.

      Like

  60. Hi Ally, that photo seems like a great addition to your blogging area. For some reason, I still recall one of your fun posts about your keyless keyboard and can imagine some of your view outside too.
    I do like her soft smile and smirk – even though I thought back then it was highly suggested to not smile in portraits – I am glad she did let some of that joy show in her image because it shows something really special

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  61. I’m trying to manifest a day of good cheer – the world seems a bit dark today (literally in Sydney and metaphorically globally) – so I’m sending out good vibes and hoping some flow back – here’s cheers to having a loved one (or stranger) look over us, especially when they have such nice hair as Miss Netty! Linda xx

    Liked by 1 person

  62. I’m still very (very!) slowly doing the photo scanning project. It’s a nice thing to do with my mom, so she can fill in information that’s missing. So many photos are just tossed into boxes, with no identifying information. Still, it always quickly becomes an existential exercise for me; can’t help wondering about who and what I’m doing it for. I like the idea of your Miss Nettie having a place on your wall. She looks very much like your kinda gal. She has opinions, for sure, and is also proper. Hard for me to imagine you getting called out so much in just one week! (Anyone who thinks all men are worthy of adoration is clearly not paying attention. Sheesh!)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rita, I’ll admit that I’ve only scanned a few photos because like you I have no idea who I’m doing it for. I’m an only child with no family left, so for me it’s pointless… maybe… I guess…?

      You’ve described how I envision Nettie, too. She’s her own person but not too serious about everything she sees going on.

      Yes getting schooled by a woman about how I shouldn’t say that men can be idiots was a new one for me. Internalized misogyny, it lurks inside some women. 🙄

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      • Can’t all humans be idiots? And mightn’t the world run better if we could honestly call out idiocy when we see it? Double sheesh.

        I do have at least one child who is interested in documentation of family history, and I suppose that is why I am continuing to engage in the photo project. He’s quite unhappy with his dad for getting rid of some things from his side of the family. Even still, it’s hard for me to see how he would be interested in ALL the photos. There are so many! And this is from before the time digital cameras made photos so ubiquitous.

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        • Agreed. Any and all human beings have the capacity to do stupid things. We’re all idiots sometimes.

          You sound like you have umpteen photos to deal with. All the old family photos I have are pre-digital, too, and handed down to me from many sources. I had an aunt who snapped photos of everyone she ever met— or so it seems to me.

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          • Umpityupmteen! Boxes and boxes of loose photos. And I’ve already gotten rid of the ones that were obvious junk. (My grandma and her sister’s girlfriend trips to various locations. Old women sitting in hotel rooms in various states of dress and undress. Good for them! But no one wants those!) I’m not ridiculously sentimental, and it’s still a challenge. Glad to know I’m not the only one.

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  63. Do you have any old family photos of somebody who is a mystery to you?

    Yes. He looks suspiciously like me, dresses like me, lived in the same places as me. But he married (and later divorced) a woman who turned into a shrew, so he’s a real mystery to me.

    Do you have any old or new photos of people framed and hanging on your walls?

    Tons of photos lining the walls in our hallway. We plan to add more along the staircase one of these days.

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  64. Thank you for introducing us to Miss Nettie Briggs. We do have several photos of family on our walls…not framed but printed on canvas. I did not realize that was frowned upon at one time. Interesting how attitudes change. As for the criticisms you’ve received online…if we’re breathing, there’s bound to be someone that finds that irritating. Pay them no mind!

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    • Christie, I knew that Miss Nettie Briggs would be a hit with my gentle readers. Once I got her framed and on the wall it was time to talk about her.

      Yes at one time it was considered tacky to put photos of people on your walls. I don’t know when the shift in attitude occurred, but now it’s no big deal.

      You’re right about how no matter what you do or say someone online will tell you you’re wrong. I’m not upset about what happened, kind of entertained by it truth be told.

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  65. You should google Nettie Briggs and see what turns up. I did that with a great-great grandfather and found a ton of stuff online about him including his wedding photo.

    I have a photo of a old time sailor on my living room wall who ties into the family somewhere but I don’t know how. I love that photo and it fits with my beach theme.

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    • Jean, very cool about your great-great grandfather. I’ve tried looking for her but oddly enough there are many Nettie Briggs out there across time. I don’t know enough details about her to know how to narrow the search.

      I adore your reasoning about why the old sailor, a possible cousin, belongs on your wall. I get it, sail on my friend.

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  66. There’s something so warm and comforting about Miss Nettie Briggs. She looks as neat as a pin.
    I don’t have any mystery photos with the exception of people who chose to photo bomb during the taking of a photo.
    As for today’s news, I tend to go the route of saving my mental health. That includes quickly turning away from current news.

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    • L. Marie, I like the saying “neat as a pin” and you’re right. She does look that.

      Photobombing is and was a thing. I found a cute photo of me at 2 y.o. walking down the sidewalk and darned if there isn’t some guy further down the sidewalk looking at me. Might have to Photoshop him out.

      Yes I know how you feel about the news. I peek at it, but won’t dwell on it. Staying sane is the way to go.

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  67. Don’t you wish you could interview your ancestors and get all your questions answered? Or maybe just a little bit of mystery keeps things interesting…
    I like that you have Nettie watching over you as you blog – that strikes me as a very “Ally” thing to do. (By the way, I LOVE my desktop computer. Take mine away on pain of death!! (she says while typing this on a laptop, but only so she can be near her beloved pets).
    My attitude today is GREAT! My district is closed today for report card marking, an onerous task I’m free from since I’m not a classroom teacher. Because we’ll be on vacation over spring break, this is well and truly the last free day off until late May, so I’m doing WHATEVER the hell I want (which includes getting caught up on my blog reading).
    I’m sorry you got criticized for those perfectly normal and reasonable thoughts, ideas, and actions. People are so quick to judge in this over-connected age of keyboard bravado.

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    • The Travel Architect, I would like to know Nettie’s story but can live with the mystery. Like I have a choice?

      I’m with you about a desktop computer. I can and do use other machines, but when it comes to throwing together a blog post, or reading + commenting on other’s posts, I go old school. I’m glad you’re doing what you want today and that I was included in it.

      You said it: over-connected age of keyboard bravado. That’s what happened but about the most banal topics. It’s not like I adore people to begin with, but honestly each time I thought, “people, I’m not your enemy.”

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  68. We have a large framed ‘historical’ photo display of named ancestors. They stare down with their stoic expressions, but I know absolutely nothing about any of them. I prefer your connection to Miss Nettie, because she has a story. And she seems like a good ole gal.

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    • Gwen, I’m laughing about your ancestors with stoic expressions. Ain’t that the truth! I don’t know if I’d want their approval as much as I’d be tempted to be rebellious just to thwart their stern gazes. But with Nettie, I have a companion.

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  69. When first I read this post, my attitude was decidedly arsey, so I decided I needed to work on myself to regain some equilibrium. Small wins have helped, and today I simply feel tired and needing to rest. There’s also a degree of dizziness, not surprising as I’ve been suffering with a touch of vertigo of late. Stress related I believe, but hopefully as things get more sorted, that will fade away.

    I have a whole selection of old photos – but I’ve not kept any formal portraits of people I don’t know. My ex had a wonderful selection of similar shots to your Nettie, and I got them cleaned up, printed, framed and displayed them. It was a bit of a wrench to see them leave with him when we split up.

    In terms of the attention I want, I did get some magnificent assistance from our recycling centre without having to ask for it. If I could leave a review, it would be the full 5 stars.

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    • Deb, feeling simply tired is a definite step forward, I understand that. I’m glad you’re handling your stresses in ways that’ll help you regain balance.

      Life can be unfair. I can imagine why you were sad to see the framed photos go with your ex. I like Nettie and I’ve only had her here with me for a few weeks.

      Congrats on your positive experience with the recycling center. That’s something to cheer about. For me it’s the little victories that make life hopeful.

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      • The small stuff does make life more positive in many different ways. I was telling Deb that when I go to bed at night, the lack of curtains and light pollution means I can see a sky full of stars. That and my neighbour’s elderly, black shaggy dog, who still enjoys a little chunter around the garden chasing his ball and a quick roll on the grass. And he’s called Rumi – I mean, how delightful is that? 🙂

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  70. Rather funny about the things you were criticized for. I drew a bit of criticism in my last post, which surprised me. I’m not used to writing anything that could cause someone to respond that way. I ignored the person, but let the comment stay, thus letting him know I was ignoring him because his comment was not worth my attention. Hmmph!

    Once upon a time hanging photos was a bad thing? Intriguing. Can you share more?

    Delightful story about Miss Nettie Briggs. I hope she is indeed whom you believe her to be. Sad to not be able to know for sure.

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    • Ilsa Rey, okay you know I had to go back to your post to find out who was critical. You handled his odd comment well. I don’t know how a post about commas prompted him to belittle you, but I also don’t know how I managed to irritate as many people as I did saying what I said. 🤷‍♀️

      The idea was that artwork belonged on the walls, photos were to be framed and sitting on bookshelves or a side table or a dresser. If you put photos on your walls you were tacky, perhaps too poor to have proper artwork. It was a snob thing.

      Nettie’s story may remain a mystery but through her positive presence in my life she lives on.

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  72. A framed family photo that includes my father is sitting on a coffee table, across from the sofa on which I’m typing these words. The photo was taken in 2004, when he was 95 years old. He was living with me and my wife, and passed away the next year. The photo means a lot to me.

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  73. When my mom was dealing with her dementia, we went through a bunch of her photos and she had no idea who the people were, so I just got rid of them. I kinda wish we had done it before she had lost her memories, but then, we would have lost all the photos last year anyway. However, the criticism you received… what?!? As you have often told me… you do you! Watch TV shows (I’ve been told of some amazing series on streaming sites we don’t get), tell the truth (not all people are worthy of adoration, not all things are worth saving and you can lose all the things you save in a 24 hour period), and I wish I knew how to not obsess constantly!

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    • Pat, family photos seem to elicit a mixed bag of emotions for many people. I can understand why it would have been nice to have your mom tell you who was in the photos, but you’re also right that they’d have been lost in the natural disaster.

      The issue with the TV shows versus books was that someone mentioned reading a book and I happily told her I’d seen the wonderful TV series based on the book. She felt that I couldn’t possibly be comparing a book to a TV show because books are always better. I didn’t snap back, but thought both can exist and be good in their own ways. 🙄

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  74. Who in the right mind to criticize anyone about watching tv, playing games, blogging or not blogging, reading or not reading? Whose business is that and hose life is that? My 7-year-old grandkid said, I can do whatever I want. I know, somehow, we have to let her know that it’s not exactly that she can do whatever she wants. She still needs permission. I’m glad you found Miss Nettie. She looks like a kind person and must have been important to your family. We just moved to Oregon two years ago. I haven’t hung any pictures on the wall yet.

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    • Miriam, I take your point and wonder too about why anyone would care about and need to tell me that I should read books not watch TV. I do both, and seem to live a balanced life full of purpose and joy, so I’m shaking my head about that criticism of me.

      Nettie’s portrait is great. I smile when I see it so having her around is delightful. I take my time about putting pictures on the wall, too. No doubt when you decide where to put the pictures in your new home, you’ll do it. No rush.

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  76. I think you must be doing something right if you’re attracting so much criticism Ally 😘 The world has gone bonkers!

    I love Nettie and the idea she’s watching over you as you blog.

    I have a family picture somewhere of my great grandmother in Trinidad (who I never met). In the photo she’s presiding over a dinner with a table full of people I assume I’m related to but also never met. I love that picture because I like all the wondering it gives me ☺️

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    • Rae Cod, I agree that the world has gone bonkers. I mean, the things I said were truly not worth fussing about YET people needed to tell me I was wrong.

      The photo of your grandmother at the table sounds awesome. I like not knowing everything about Nettie so I understand about your photo. Wondering is good, I think.

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  78. I have a picture of a lady that I have named Jane. I saw it at an antique store and had to take her home. She’s not on my wall, but I do wonder about her. It makes me think of all the souls who came before and perhaps she was my friend in another life.

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    • Martha, that’s a wonderful way to think about Jane. Thanks for sharing it. I wonder if I was friends with Nettie in another life? I had the photo laying around for a while before I framed Nettie, but now that I have she’s here to stay.

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