IN THE PAST
ONCE AGAIN OUR VOTING PRECINCT has been assigned to a different polling place. In the 20+ years we’ve lived in this community we’ve voted at:
- the VFW Hall [smoke-filled with parking in a field used for their monthly turkey shoot];
- the Country Club [time-consuming with parking at nearby Methodist Church, involved a shuttle bus taking us to the country club’s front door and then back to our cars];
- the Elementary School [smelled like chicken sandwiches, had limited parking but nice landscaping to look at while waiting for a space];
- the Non-denominational Christian Church [easy ingress and egress, adequate flat parking, short walk to front doors, only there one year];
- the Greek Orthodox Church [difficult ingress and egress, limited parking on uneven sloped lot, many shiny gilded-gold objects inside building]; and
- the Presbyterian Church [no deets yet].
BUT FOR TODAY
HIM: Where am I voting today?
ME: With the Presbyterians.
HIM: Which Presbyterians? The ones near us or the other ones?
ME: The ones near us. The ones who were hidden down the lane.
HIM: They’re not on the lane anymore?
ME: No, they’re in the same place on the lane but they’ve built a big driveway to the road, so that’s how you get to them now. They have a big welcome sign on the road.
HIM: How do I get there?
ME: Go down the road past the street that takes you to the United Methodists, but not so far as to make that sharp right turn into the Roman Catholics. And for goodness sake don’t go around the curve and make a right into the Bible Believers Baptist Church compound. Who knows what weirdness is behind the bunker they’ve built around that building.
HIM: OK. So where do I turn to get to the Presbyterians?
ME: It’s easy. When you see the big welcome sign on the left, turn left, and you’ll be in the right place.
HIM: Are you telling me directions to the polling place or voting advice?
ME: Both, I guess. Get on the road, go left, and you won’t go wrong! 😉
HAPPY ELECTION DAY
May you find your polling place without trouble. May you say *yes* to the school levies and mental health issues and support for the less fortunate. And for the love of all that is good and holy, I beg of you, may you dump the Trumpian chumps.
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