Of Cool Kids & Comments: 2 FAQ Answered. Got More Questions?

/ Ally Bean

Here is why you are the cool kids  

It’s my takeaway from one of the nicest compliments I’ve received on this blog. A long time ago a blogger told me I was one of the Cool Kids a la high school.

She explained that I wasn’t one of the Popular Kids, like the jocks with their toadies or the mean girls with their wannabes. Nor was I one of the obedient Do Bees who followed all the rules.

Instead she said that I was one of the Cool Kids, a quiet rebel, sitting in the back of the class, amused by what I saw going on, able to do my own thing with my friends.

I was flattered by what she said. It jived with my perception of who I am so I decided that: 1) if you comment here you are my friend;  and 2) as such that makes you a Cool Kid, too.

~ • ~

~ • ~

This is how I deal with comments

First of all I’m grateful to receive as many comments as I do. Cool Kids are the best. Thank you.

That being said, as many of you have noted, it does take some doing on my part to keep up with all the comments. I’ll admit this isn’t what I anticipated when I started blogging, yet I want to be friendly and conscientious because that’s the kind of blogger I am.

You understand.

Thus my approach to my comment section is to:

  • only post on days when I know I’ll have the flexibility to reply to comments as they come in;
  • check comments frequently, but not obsessively, on the first few days after I post; and
  • close comments on every post after about three weeks.

In other words, in a nutshell, I don’t turn my back on my comment section lest I be swept under and overwhelmed about replying to them.

[Also for those who are interested, HERE is something I wrote about blog comments a few years ago. The post received 388 comments. 🙄]

~ • ~

~ • ~

Do you have more questions for me?

It’s been a long time since I asked for your questions. I’ve no specific reason why I haven’t done an AMA post recently, just no planning on my part, I guess.

So to correct this lapse and to keep things fresh & different around here, I’m asking you to leave me some questions in the comment section of this post. The questions can be about blogging or me or seeking advice for a problem.

Anything that you’re curious about.

Then starting in July, in a different post [or posts], I’ll answer your questions to the best of my ability which is to say I reserve the right to not answer any questions that I deem unreasonable.

In my answers I’ll make sure to mention you and your blog, adding a link to your blog of course so that the Cool Kids can find you.

How’s that for an incentive to ask me a question!

224 thoughts on “Of Cool Kids & Comments: 2 FAQ Answered. Got More Questions?”

  1. Replying to comments takes oodles of time, which you address here. You have a novel way to move forward. Love your creative fix, Ally!

    My questions: Does your husband read your blog posts? replies in the comment section?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marian, when I started blogging I never thought about how handling comments would be part of the deal, but it is so I do. Happy to start conversations, but my goodness to the gracious!

      Your question noted. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Had not heard the back story about being a cool kid before.. (I like it) You inspire me to do a AMA post myself. Stay tuned! Enjoy your day Ally Bean. Feels like you’re already off to a great start. DM

    Liked by 1 person

    • DM, the reason for being the Cool Kids is old news to many longtime bloggers, but I do get asked about it so I answered here. Good luck with your AMA post. Always fascinating to see what people want to know about you!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. My friend asks me for fashion advice. My friend has a cute figure, but manages to find clothes that are just wrong for her body shape, and age, and lifestyle. Even though she’s asking me, I feel weird responding honestly. Do I tell her what I really think or do I continue to skirt around the issue, realizing it’s just my opinion, but in the back of my head, she already sees the things I see, and wants confirmation. If you understand this question, I guess that’s the first battle.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I love the definition of Cool Kid. I wonder where I fit in the hierarchy of high school labels. I was definitely NOT a DoBee. I have found out, 40+ years later, that I was apparently a PopularKid, though I thought I was just a normal, get along with most people kinda kid. I never thought I was Cool, though.

    I feel you on responding to comments as, like you, I try to respond to each and every one (though I do not have the crazy number you do!) and also thanks to you, I have pretty much gotten rid of spam by closing comments after a month. Wow. Who knew?

    I have been struggling to get my blogging back to regular. This working full-time at a job I actually like means I don’t cheat at work (well, except for now because I’m waiting) writing my blog! Do you work full-time outside of the house?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dale, the blogger who told me what she did said it at a moment when I was down. She cheered me up. I realized that in high school I was a Do Bee [slightly rebellious] but that now as an adult I was definitely a Cool Kid.

      Getting less spam is the best, isn’t it? Once I learned how to keep it at bay I found replying to comments more enjoyable.

      Thanks for your question. Got it.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m the third comment! I must really be on the ball today. You gave me the advice about closing comments awhile back, which I sincerely appreciate. It always felt a little dated to read and then respond to a comment that came in weeks after a post. Problem solved (with a built-in gentle reminder to readers about being prompt).

    My question: Do you have other outlets for your writing besides blogging?

    Like

    • Dave, spam is annoying and about as pointless as the “g” in lasagna. I’m glad you’ve conquered yours and put some perimeters around your blog replies. There is only so long you can talk about what your wrote.

      Thanks for the question. Will add it to the July answer post.

      Like

  7. Morning, Ally. I think you have a wicked, fabulous sense of humor…and as evidence, I direct your attention to the first photo in this post…’feeling cute’. LOL – cute, indeed!
    My question…has humor always served you well…in your work life, with friends/family? It seems like such a potent part of your personality. And does your humor come from some familial source? A nature or nurture gift? I’ll probably think of something else to add to your AMA list, but that’ll do for now. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for including me among the cool kids. 😎 I never identified with any particular group when in school and as an adult realised that I’m an introvert (then some testing proved it). Groups were never my thing and then I made the mistake of marrying an extrovert. Ugh. Not good. My question then, is, are you an introvert or extrovert, and has this consciously affected your life choices?

    Thank you for responding so thoughtfully to all these comments (and inviting more). Cheers.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’ve always been impressed with your dedication to your comment section and love that you outline it for your readers!!

    Can’t wait to read your AMA question answers!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. My high school class was so large I doubt anyone knew everyone. My junior year, somebody once asked me if I knew a supposedly super popular cheerleader and to this day I have no clue who she was or what she looked like. But this could also be because in the Honors/ AP classes, we basically broke into cliques by electives: the band geeks (biggest group), the yearbook geeks, the chorus geeks, the drama geeks, etc. We were in our own geek bubble, mostly separate from the rest of the school.

    Every time I visit your blog and see the phrase “cool kids,” Echosmith’s song “Cool Kids” plays in my head. For me, it’s always been The Spectacled Bean’s soundtrack!

    Liked by 1 person

    • AutumnAshbough, my small town high school class was large too and I’m sure I didn’t know most of the kids in it. I know that lots of students stayed in their own bubbles, but am not sure if I did or not. My mother was a middle school teacher in a school across town from where we lived so kids knew me as her daughter even though I didn’t know them. It was kind of weird.

      I remember that song! I’ve never thought of it as the soundtrack for this blog, but sure, why not?

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Being a cool kid is indeed a great compliment. I was a dobee, at least that’s what I think was. My question is; why does it rains when you don’t have an umbrella and it’s sunny when you do have one?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You and I share the same philosophy re: Comments and the etiquette of same. I never close Comments, but I moderate after 3 weeks. I also don’t accept anonymous comments, and both things have cut way down on my spam.

    Here’s my question, just for the hell of it: Is there anything you’ve ever just plain given up on?

    Liked by 1 person

    • nance, if there’s one thing I’ve learned whilst blogging it is that anonymous comments never lead to anything worthwhile. I don’t accept them either. Like the saying goes: do not feed or tease the trolls.

      Thanks for the question. It’s a good one. I’ll think on it.

      Like

  13. I don’t know that I’ve heard that Cool Kid story before Ally Bean- thanks for sharing again! I think I would have been in the Barely Seen and Definitely Not Heard group, at least at times anyway. Although I grew to have Seen But Not Really Top Tier status as senior year approached 😉

    I am always shocked when I glance at the number of comments you receive and I always ask myself “how the heck does she do it and where do all those readers come from?” I do like the idea of closing comments after a certain point, especially in your case.

    My question: The most fascinating place you have ever visited and what made it so?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, your breakdown of high school group dynamics is a hoot. I get what you’re saying. I was a Do Bee with a skoosh of rebellion back in the day, but have morphed into a Cool Kid as I’ve matured. And isn’t that a sentence?

      Thanks for the question. Will answer it in the July post with all my answers.

      Like

  14. Believe it or not, you answered my question already in this post! This thing of comments going ‘viral’ so to speak and how to manage them in a way consistent with (y)our own sense of self, duty, blogger friendship, etc. Thanks for the ideas – not that my comments are huge, but they are a part of blogging that while fun, comes with the ever present responsibility to respond thoughtfully and in a timely manner.
    😎

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laura, I like how you phrased it about comments: “the ever present responsibility to respond thoughtfully and in a timely manner.” I’m hardly perfect and I know I occasionally miss some of the comments, BUT my intention is to talk with everyone. Who knew it’d be so time-consuming?

      Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s interesting that you close comments after a certain time. I’ve done that only once, on a post dealing with Leonard Cohen and his relationship with the two Suzannes who were inspirations for his song. I did it primarily because after a few years I was ready to move on; I was pleased that so many Canadians and Europeans were reading and commenting, but when it devolved into commenters trying to one-up each other with their Cohen stories, I had enough.

    Here’s a question: what state do you live in? I haven’t been able to figure it out, although if I snooped around a bit more the answer might be there.

    Like

    • Linda, oh I’d get tired of that type of comment, too. I like people telling me things, but maybe not for years on end. There comes a point with any topic when it’s over.

      Thanks for your question. I’ll happily answer it in July on my AMA reply post.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Wow. I always wanted to be a cool kid. But in reality I have to doubt that title where I am concerned. I have to commend your devotion to your comments. I struggle with them, sometimes overthink them, sometimes knee jerk respond to them with regrets. They (my responses) often feel fake to me. So how do you manage to make all your comments so genuine?

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Awww, love the cool kids analogy!
    Do I have questions, do I have questions. I have a zillion of them but I know you’re a private person so I don’t want to overstep. I’d like to ask how you and Zen Den met, but if that’s too personal that is a-okay, of course.
    Something I have been thinking about a lot is how different all the blogs I follow are. Some, I think, are more interestingly written than others, some tackle really interesting topics, some talk about everyday life, etc. I like them all of course, and I also consider all the bloggers I follow to be friends (like you). Here’s my question: is there a TYPE of blog you like the best? Are there certain blogs that you favour for certain reasons?
    I also wanted to say that you inspired me to answer every single comment. I didn’t always do that – I would respond on individual blogs who commented, or on the occasional comment on my own – but now I always do and it’s because of YOUR INFLUENCE. You’re an influencer!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicole, I’m laughing here. Me, an influencer? I’ll say that I’ve never envisioned myself that way, but I am flattered to think I’ve shown you the way of what I think of as Comment Love.

      You ask some good questions. Thank you. I promise to answer them all in the yet to be written July post, that is getting longer every hour. This AMA thing is fun.

      Like

    • Arlene, I used to be glued to the idea that I had a strict blog schedule and I had to post on specific days– or else. But I’d get in over my head with comments and feel snarly about the whole thing. HOWEVER I eventually figured out that if I post on days when my real life is slow, then answering comments is fun. And not a burden.

      Thanks for the question. It’s a good one.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I love the lion funnies! I’m happy to see your posts once per week or whenever time allows. We do have other things going on! Well, not me, but “we” generally… 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  20. 388 comments??!!!! Wow… my mind can’t wrap itself around that, other than to say I’m glad I’ve never experienced the phenomenon (and I hope I never do). What a great idea: closing comments after a few weeks. I might replicate that because I find it frustrating when someone comments on a year old or longer post.

    My question: You’ve probably mentioned it before, but I don’t recall in what field you worked in your career. Your husband’s also? – Marty

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marty, and here’s the thing about the 388 comments, I closed the comment section on that post before my usual 3 week shutdown because I couldn’t talk about comments anymore. Enough, ‘ya know?

      Thanks for the questions. Will answer them in the July post.

      Like

  23. I found that by closing my comments off after 3 months, spam dropped to almost nothing.
    I don’t get a lot of comments at the best of times and that is okay for me. I have the time to answer comments, but appreciate it when someone just ‘likes’ a post rather than posting a comment that duplicates what someone else has said.
    I’ve come across a few bloggers who never answer the comments left on their blog and never like or comment on my blog. I don’t know why they don’t disable comments completely – that seems more honest…
    Question – what generation of ‘cool’ did you grow up in? Has the term changed much as each generation used it? (I find it surprising to hear my grandchildren use it today.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margy, I’m not a fan of spam [who is other than spammers?] so any way to curtail it is fine by me. Also topics have a shelf life, so closing comments at a certain point seems sensible.

      I get what you’re saying about bloggers who don’t reply to their comments. It seems pointless to get comments then ignore them BUT I do know that some bloggers prefer to reply to comments privately via email. Their blogs look like they don’t engage with people, but instead they do so behind the scenes. With only certain people I guess. I mean, how would you know if you’re being ignored?

      Thanks for the question. I’ll research the term to figure out how it has morphed over the years. Great question.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. I want to thank you Ally for being among the best of bloggers as you have faithfully responded to my comments. That means a lot to me. There are far to many out there who either respond to a few comments, or worse, do not respond at all.

    Enjoy your summer my friend.
    J

    Liked by 1 person

    • Johnny2Toes, thanks for the compliment. I’ve never understood the reasoning behind cherry-picking whose comments you’ll attend to, and which ones you’ll ignore. But I know you’re right, some bloggers are random about who gets a reply. It’s difficult to interpret what that means.

      Like

  25. I’m delighted to be among the cool kids! 😊
    You helped me so much with my blog’s Spam problems, suggesting to close comments after three weeks. Whew, what a relief! I was so hesitant to have comments on my blog at all because every time I tried, the spam was quite shocking! But now I have things in place to help, including your suggestions, and it’s been so much fun! (Although I’m still shocked once in a while, now I just delete those comments.) I reply to all legit comments, and I hope everyone feels welcome – but I admit I’ve used the “Thank you for your comment” line. I really meant it, though, and I thought it was polite!
    Do you have any other blogging etiquette advice?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michelle, I’m happy to have you as one of the Cool Kids. Your comments are thoughtful which is delightful. I, still, occasionally get a comment that seems *off* to me and like you I just delete it. I’ve no interest in engaging with anyone who is here to cause trouble, as defined by me. My blog, my rules.

      Thanks for the question. I’m adding it to the growing list of good questions.

      Like

  26. Not a question, but I’m musing on your thoughts about commenting in today’s post and the earlier one you linked to. I fear I’m not one of the cool kids, but rather one of the dense ones, for it baffles me that there might be bloggers who don’t want me horning in on the tight community of their blog. I figured if somebody blogs, they want people to read and comment on their effort. They want to connect with people. But there are a few bloggers who never respond to comments, and others who respond selectively (surely these were cheerleaders in high school). I try not to take it personally, and guess it’s as you suggest: they’re writing for their community and I’m not part of that. But, to me, acknowledging and responding to comments is simply common courtesy. Like you, Ally, I’m grateful for every reader and every comment. But maybe that’s because I was never one of the cool kids….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, oh you’ve made me laugh out loud with your cheerleader comment. Thank you. I, too, agree: “I figured if somebody blogs, they want people to read and comment on their effort. They want to connect with people.” And yet there are bloggers whose lack of interest in the comments left for them suggests otherwise.

      I go with the idea that I’m being polite, and that is a good thing, to acknowledge all comments, but not everyone does. Obviously. Maybe people are just scared of their own power to start conversations? I dunno.

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Always felt special to be called a cool kid cos I definitely wasn’t in HS. Funny that I am in the middle of planning (with the “really” cool kids) our 50th HS reunion. Yes, I am old. I cannot imagine 333 comments. Maybe I got 15 on one of my A to Z posts and with my responses it would come out to 30. Question – Will you ever post a picture of you and your hubby?

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Ok, I didn’t go to school in America. My knowledge of the High school terminology is limited to my books and what my younger says to me (which is even more limited). But I think you being cool looks cool 😎. I enjoyed reading other bloggers comments on this post and I don’t have anything more to add 😊.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Wow, I’m finally a Cool Kid after all these years! Thanks! 🙂 I post every day, except when on vacation, and although sometimes I’d like to do less, I can’t figure out which days to give up, so I keep at it (and I do enjoy it.) But as I post mostly photos, I don’t get nearly as many comments. My comment philosophy is that on my blog, I answer every comment unless it’s one like “Great post. Please follow my blog.” Those get trashed. I wrote a very popular post “Advice for New Bloggers” or some such title and that was one of the things I talked about.

    After taking your advice about closing comments after a set time, I set mine at a month and that’s taken care of almost all spam, thank goodness. I was getting overwhelmed.

    As for my comments, I try to comment on every post I read which means I follow new blogs only after careful consideration and if a blogger posts more than once a day, which a number of bloggers I follow do, I only visit and comment on one a day generally as I don’t have enough time for all of them.

    Like Deborah, I can’t think of any questions but look forward to your answers to the ones you’ve received and am considering whether or not to do an AMA post. Perhaps no one would be interested enough to ask questions and then I’d feel like an Un-Cool Kid! 🙂

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

    • Janet, I, too, instantly delete any comment like: “Great post. Please follow my blog.” Those are the epitome of insincerity and I don’t take insincerity well. 🤨

      Isn’t it great to get less spam? I enjoy finding ways to thwart it. Bwha-ha-ha!

      When someone new leaves a comment I do like you do. I look over their blog to make sure it’s legitimate, then if possible leave a comment for them, but many lovely people comment here and write about topics I just don’t care about so I have nothing to say on their blogs. Still, of course, I reply to them on my blog.

      I’m looking forward to how the AMA follow-up post is going to unroll. The questions have been delightfully varied which bodes well for the post. If you decide to do a post like this, you may be pleasantly surprised by the questions. 🤷‍♀️

      Like

    • I am honored to be a CK (Cool Kid 🙂 ), too. Both because of the “cool” and because of the “kid” 😀

      And I do have a question, that I was too shy to ask when I first encountered your blog and was reading your older posts and had questions to ask and found that the comments were closed… Is it mostly spam that ends up being “commented” on older posts? Is that the reason you close comments after a few weeks? Why is it that you close comments on older (and still interesting!) posts?

      Liked by 1 person

      • EW, you are most decidedly a CK which is a delightful way to refer to Cool Kids. I understand about the “kid” part.

        Thanks for your questions. I’m adding them to the list and will answer in a July post. This has been fun to learn what people are curious about.

        Liked by 1 person

  31. I agree with the cool kid description. What your reader described jives with my perception of you as well. 😎
    As to the time factor and comments, it’s challenging, even without the large number of comments you receive. I’m on a blogging sabbatical, but I struggled with it when I was actively blogging. How do you NOT respond when someone is kind enough to not only read your post, but also leave a thoughtful comment? And… leaving thoughtful comments on other people’s posts takes time as well. All of it is rewarding, but also challenging, time-wise. Thus, it’s great to read how you’ve found a way to make this work!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kendra, by commenting here you, too, are officially a Cool Kid! Welcome.

      You said it with CHALLENGING. I agree with you that if someone has taken the time to read then made the effort to comment, I feel that I need to reply which takes time. I enjoy reading other blogs, but by the time I read & comment there plus maintain this blog, I’m tired. There’s a balance to be had, but some days/weeks I don’t seem to find it.

      Still ever onward go I in blogland. Good to hear from you, btw.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Love being part of the Cool Kid Club! 😀 And thank you, Ally Bean – I always enjoy it when I’m able to pop in for a few minutes. Also, we’re glad you’re continuing your trek in blogland. Your voice is refreshing and real. Hope to catch the AMA response post next month. Judging by the comments I read, sounds like it’s shaping up to be a good one!

        Like

  32. Your description of “cool kids” reminded me of my best friend and me sitting in the back of the classroom rolling our eyes and sharing giggles at the popular kids and the rest you described. My questions are when did you start blogging and why? How has your blog changed through the years?

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Love this week’s lion memes. The one with the lion on his back is hilarious. There really isn’t that much difference between big cats and houe cat, is there?

    I’m proud to be a cool kid!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. I’m a fellow long-time blogger and I have lots of questions for other long-time bloggers. Do people ever reference things to you from your blog from a long time ago that you’ve completely forgotten about? How has your personal view on blogging changed over the years? The role of your blog in your life? Do you have any regrets about something you’ve posted/not posted?

    I feel like asterisking that none of this is my business and you’re free to ignore all these questions if they’re too personal, but I bet you already know that!

    Liked by 1 person

    • NGS, thanks for the questions. They’re good ones that are going to require a bit of reflection. I like that. As for being none of your business, I dunno. I did open myself up to this! 🤔

      Like

    • This is a good one! I started blogging in 201o and would probably be embarrassed to have the thoughts of my early-20 self freely available and associated with me. 😅 I think you’ve touched on it before, but I’m curious your thoughts about bridging the changing *you* across a decade plus of blogging.

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Hi, Ally – I greatly appreciate and admire your approach to comments. I don’t know how you consistently do it – but you are inspirational. I have never ever commented on your post when you have not left a meaningful reply in return. Your comments on my posts are also equally unique and meaningful.
    My question for you is: What is your biggest pet peeve about blog comments? (You can answer this question from any angle).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Donna, my goodness to the gracious I am flattered. I do try to be a good blogger who engages in the comment section, here and elsewhere.

      Thanks for the question. It’s going to make for an interesting answer.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. It’s great that you were described as one of the cool kids—a quiet rebel. Now I’d like to ask: what were you like in high school? (If someone beat me to this question—I didn’t read the other comments—please ignore it.)

    Liked by 1 person

  37. I love that you’re talking about blogging! I’ll admit that it can feel a bit daunting to comment on such a large blog, so I love that this makes me a “Cool Kid.” It shouldn’t make me as happy as it does, but I’m happy, so thanks for putting this out there 🙂

    I am shocked – SHOCKED – by how long answering comments takes. Also, keeping up with other people’s blogs. I love it and it has brought so much joy to my life, but I have to balance it out with real-life engagement with my friends. I’ve reduced how often I comment and I notice an uptick in my enjoyment of consuming blog material. I don’t HAVE to comment on every post my friend’s put up, and I hope that by doing that they realize they don’t have to comment on mine. I love when they do but also…blogs should be there to serve us, not to feel like “work” (basically all blogs I read are not influencer; they’re just wonderful, lovely, interesting “regular” people who are writing about real life and not trying to promote products!)

    My battery is at 2%, so I won’t attempt to ask questions in this comment or I’ll lose the whole comment with my longwindedness. Love your blog! Keep up the great work and Stay Cool 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elisabeth, oh you are definitely one of the Cool Kids. When that long ago blogger told me this I was at a low point, thinking about ending my blog, and her comment buoyed me. I felt seen.

      I soooo agree with your statement: I don’t HAVE to comment on every post my friend’s put up, and I hope that by doing that they realize they don’t have to comment on mine. I enjoy reading what everyone has to say, but I cannot be there for every post. Like you I hope that by commenting sincerely when I can it is understood that it’s okay to be the same way with me. I don’t think of blogging as quid pro quo, but some bloggers do, I realize.

      Thanks for your interest and support. So glad we found each other out here in blogland.

      Like

  38. I was definitely different in high school. I was called an artsy-fartsy. Now my question: Is an Artso Fartso cool or just weird? I actually had kids come up to me and ask me if I was on drugs and I would say No. Have you ever been asked if you were on drugs?

    Liked by 1 person

  39. I enjoyed the ‘cool kids’ explanation. I do think I fit into that category. I was never a cool kid in high school. I was happy to be a sort of floater between groups and do as I pleased. And, yes, I could often be found at the back of the class making remarks here and there – usually my teachers appreciated my sense of humor.

    My question is, do you and Zen Den have couples that you meet up with for dinner/drinks. etc. And have you struggled to find couples that you both enjoy? I believe there was a Seinfeld episode about that once. Coach and I enjoy the company of other couples, but we do have a tough time finding couples who are on the same page vs I so enjoy the wife but he and the husband have nothing in common. How do you handle this issue?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ernie, the thing about that blogger who said I was a Cool Kid is that I was feeling lowly when she said it and it cheered me up. My high school teachers appreciated my sense of humor, too, although they often said something after class to me.

      Thanks for the questions. I’ll answer them in the July post [or maybe posts at this point] that I plan on writing. This AMA thing is fun.

      Like

  40. I can’t stop laughing….I assumed AMA stood for a writing style. 🤣
    I read through all of the comments and really liked all of the questions, so I’m looking forward to reading your post in July with your answers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kari, nope AMA is a way of asking for questions. I suppose there could be a writing style with those initials, but I’m not familiar with it. I think this July post [or posts?] are shaping up to be something unique.

      Liked by 1 person

  42. I love the way you handle your comment section – and thanks for the reminder about turning off comments. Luckily, I don’t get much spam (knock on all the wood) but that would definitely deter it.

    As an old blogger; back in the day I would respond to comments via email but as time marched on I kept finding that the comments weren’t tied to an actual email address. And I always wondered (if I responded on the blog) whether or not the person who posted the initial comment ever came back to see my response. Now, thanks to your lead, I try to respond to comments on the blog (not always; but mostly).

    I’ll have to think about any questions I might have that haven’t already been asked.

    And thanks for telling me I’m a Cool Kid – I’ve certainly never felt like one but based on your description; maybe I am.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gigi, I got tired of spam and my solution seems to work.

      I used to respond to comments via email, too. That’s how it used to be, but once the ability to reply publicly became available I went for it. I’m not the best at attending to my email, but this threaded comments in the open works for me. I don’t know if anyone comes back to see my reply [nor did I assume they read my email reply], but I figure I did my best to be friendly and that’s all I can do.

      Yes, you’re a Cool Kid. Embrace this newfound description as you will!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thought of an inane question, so I’m back.

        How would you describe your fashion/style choices? Boho Chic, Classic, Jeans and Tee, etc. I think it would be interesting to see if what I think in my mind when I think of you matches up to the actual answer.

        Liked by 1 person

  43. Well, of course you’re a Cool Kid! How nice to be recognized as such. I can see how closing comments reduces spam. I haven’t checked that folder in a while. I leave mine open because sometimes distant cousins come along and have something meaningful to add.

    I loved the lion memes! My question is: How does one go about creating a meme? Bear in mind this question comes from someone who couldn’t figure out how to use Canva.

    The fact you engage with readers through your comments is probably one of the best things about your blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eilene, I understand why you keep your comments open. The purpose and format of your blog is to share genealogical information so it makes sense.

      Thanks for the compliment. I try to stay on top of conversations in the comment section, but sometimes I fall behind. Fortunately I’m good at forgiving myself.

      I’ve added your question to the list. I didn’t make these lion memes, I found them online and only wish I knew who made them, would gladly give credit. But I do know about Canva so I can speak to that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Awakening Wonders, it’s been fun to see what’s on everyone’s mind. The questions are about as eclectic as the people who follow along here. And isn’t that fun?

      Like

  45. Ooh, cool kids unite! These questions are all fantastic, so I’m looking forward to the AMA. My question: What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on without any preparation?

    Liked by 1 person

  46. I think I have to start closing comments as well – one day I find 50 SPAM comments, the next day 20 and maybe 10 the day after. There is no rhyme or reason to it. I do link to older posts sometimes but it doesn’t mean you can’t respond to the current post … I’m not sure people read the links anyway.

    Well, I’m happy to be a Cool Kid. As to high school, I must agree with you Ally … too many cliques, especially the ones who THOUGHT they were cool kids, like athletes and their girlfriends who hung onto their arm and their every word. 🙂 Because of our millage issues, we only had the “sports set” and the thespians, banks/chorale for senior year.

    So my question to you would be “how has life changed for you since Z-D retired?” I know you wrote about his side hustle but that is from home, so he has no commute and (hopefully) creates his own schedule. Are you getting out for the long walks you had hoped to?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Linda, I got fed up with spam when one day I began to get 10 spam comments an hour on a post from way back when. I thought that’s it. I’ll talk with anyone today about what I said back then, but only on a current post. So I set the 3 week limit.

      You’re right about the Popular kids who thought they were cool, but really weren’t. It took years for me to figure that out, but I did.

      Thanks for the questions. I’ll add it to the list. This AMA thing is fun, albeit a bit unpredictable.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I just cleared 24 SPAM comments when I got here tonight.

        It took me awhile to figure out “cool” versus “not so cool” and then I saw Jill at the grocery store. She was a high school cheerleader who was the girlfriend of one of the football players – she was cute, blonde and perky (do people say “perky” to describe someone anymore?). Fast forward a few years later when I saw her at the grocery store. Very pregnant, very frazzled and a kid in the grocery cart seat and one toddling alongside her crying.

        I’ll look forward to reading your Q&As Ally.

        Like

  47. Typepad makes it difficult to answer comments on the blog which is frustrating. If they had a way to notify commenters of my responses it would be much appreciated. I was never a cool kid but I was smart, kind and had friends–mostly nerdy intellectuals like me. Perhaps we were cool to each other? My question(s): Now that Z-D is retired, do you have any plans to travel? If so, where is your dream destination and why? That’s too many questions, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Margaret, yep Typepad is a difficult platform. I was on it, I remember. WP alerts me to replies to my comments, but it’s not foolproof. Still better than TP.

      Thanks for the questions. I’m adding them to the list. If nothing else my July post is going to be diverse.

      Liked by 1 person

  48. I first left a comment here so I could be a cool kid. That wasn’t the category I fell in in school.

    What’s Ally’s favorite thing to do when not blogging?

    Like

  49. I think most conscientious bloggers try to follow your model. Not responding to someone’s comment on our blogs, even if we disagree with their remarks 100%, is not okay. Like you, I try to blog on days when I will be able to respond, but sometimes unforeseen things come up unexpectedly, which could take us away for half a day or more.

    It gets a bit dicier for me when a fellow blogger decides to post a guest post on an impossible date/time to respond. I don’t think the judge would excuse me from jury duty because I must comment on a blog post. (There is a question here.) What do you do when working with a fellow blogger who wants to do a dual or guest post but isn’t communicative about when the post might come out?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pete, I agree with you: Not responding to someone’s comment on our blogs, even if we disagree with their remarks 100%, is not okay. Yet I see that happen often enough to know that not all bloggers feel the same way.

      Thanks for your question. I take your point and will answer in July when I get all these questions organized into a post or two.

      Like

  50. I love the lion memes. Hilarious! 388 comments – that’s insane!

    If answering comments wasn’t what you expected when you started blogging – what did you expect? And has what it has turned out to be better, worse, or just different?

    Love that you answered the cool kid question. Thanks, Ally! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wynne, I don’t know who made the lion memes but they had/have me in stitches. Some people, so funny.

      Thanks for your questions. I’ll answer them in July when I write my reply post.

      Liked by 1 person

  51. This whole idea of the “mean girls” bothers me. I argue with my sister about it. She says there was a small group of mean girls in her class. I say there wasn’t a mean-girls group in my class of 210 students. She says there must have been. I don’t think so. (This is just a detour.)

    My question: Tell me more about yourself as a “cool kid.” From what I have noticed, you’re imaginative and funny and open to new experiences and people. What are some examples of your cool kid ways? Were you a cool kid in kindergarten?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicki, well, in my high school there were mean girls but they didn’t really bother me. I was much too much of a nobody aka Do Bee for them to concern themselves with me.

      Thanks for the questions. I can truthfully say that I haven’t ever thought about who I was in kindergarten so answering this will take me down a new path of introspection.

      Like

  53. I love your blogging inspirational clarification on Cool Kids and Comments. My questions are (pick one or more as you see fit 😉 – Do you have a title in mind for a blog post Before or After you write the blog post and why? What inspires your clever titles? Do you write a post all in one setting or over a period of time in between your posts? What is one lesson for newbie bloggers to learn that you wish you had known at the beginning of your blogging experience? Happy rest of June and I look forward to reading your replies to the Cool Kid questions in July!!

    Liked by 1 person

  54. Wow, Ally Bean, so much to unwrap here! I was always the Do Bee, who admired the Cool Kids and would have emulated them more if I had had the courage. At 61, I am at least LEANING toward ‘Cool’ albeit with occasional trepidation, so I truly appreciate words of wisdom from someone who has always walked the walk.

    And… thank you so much for addressing the issue of adequately getting to all the comments (and ensuring I return that courtesy by commenting on others’ posts). Like you, I have started posting less frequently and only when I know I can actually answer comments. I also try not to be obsessive about answering or commenting. I have reserved a chunk of time in the mornings, when I am freshest, and I try hard to stick to that.

    But… I didn’t know I could close comments after a certain time!!! So…my question, not very personal: how do I do that?

    I LOVED this post!!!!! 🙏💕

    Like

    • Patti, thanks for your kind compliment about this post. I was a Do Bee when I was younger but have morphed into a Cool Kid as I’ve become a wiser woman. That long ago blogger’s comment proved that to me.

      I adore comments but it is a love/hate relationship. I want to be attentive toward anyone who comments here, but I also [shockingly] have a real life to live. I figure that I do my best, define “timely basis” as I see fit, and trust that’s enough to be considered friendly.

      As for your question I’ll go ahead and answer it now. In my version of WP you go to Settings, then Discussion, then Other comment settings, to “Automatically close comments on posts older than [you fill-in the number] days”

      Once you do that you have to scroll down the page and hit Save Changes and then you’re all set. You can change the number of days anytime you want so it’s not like you’ve locked into it forever.

      Like

    • The Travel Architect, thank you for asking. No one has asked that question and it wouldn’t matter to me if you did repeat a question someone else asked. I don’t grade the comments on originality! 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  56. Heya Ally (insert cool swagger here).

    It’s so interesting how we perceived ourselves in school vs how others may have done so. I would say I was a somewhere in the middle kind of kid, not part of the super cool group but perhaps the next sub segment down.🤪 Funny thing is, I met an old friend for lunch when I visited London, England a few years back, and we got reminiscing and chatting about the old days. One of the things he said to me was that he thought I was such a super cool chic back then, to which I burst into complete laughter as that is not how I saw myself. So my question to you is this, how might others have perceived you as a teenager rather than what did you think of yourself? Or maybe both?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lynn, great story of getting together with an old friend who saw you differently than you did. You raise a good point about who we think we are versus how others see us. In fact that’s the reason I felt validated when that blogger told me I was a Cool Kid because that’s exactly how I thought of [think of] myself as a blogger.

      Thanks for the question. I’m adding it to the list. This AMA has been fun.

      Liked by 1 person

  58. Hey Ally, I was wondering whether you’ve ever considered taking the top 10 to 20 best of your posts (your choice) and turning them into a book? Or perhaps you might write a book of the best wisdom you’ve gotten or given on your blog? I bet it would sell. Mona

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Receiving and replying to comments is one of the best things about blogging – the replies take time and I sometimes fall behind. I only hope I’m forgiven for getting back to commenters later. I like the idea for your July posts. What to ask? Hmmm…okay, here goes:

    Here’s something I’ve been wondering about today. Do you think a person’s opinion of a book can change after discussing it with others? Has this ever happened to you? It’s kind of a weird question, but I’m interested in what you think. Feel free to use this, or not if it doesn’t fit in!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, I feel the same way about the value of comments. I’m not always on top of my comment section but I try. I do try to make sense when I write comments but sometimes I look back at what I said and wonder if I did make sense. I hope I’m forgiven for that, too.

      I’ve noted your question. It’s a good one. Thanks for asking.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Ally – I’m replying to this comment late! It can be a challenge to stay on top of the comments – especially on the weekends if I have something going on – and yes, looking back on some of mine – I hope I was making sense!

        Liked by 1 person

  61. I always knew you were a cool kid.
    I don’t think I found my ‘coolness’ until I was a mature adult, but I’m happy to be there now. And when I say mature, I only mean age, not mentality.
    It does take some time to reply to comments, and I try to do it within a day or two.

    Like

  62. If we were stranded on a desert island together, what skills do you think I would bring to the table? How about you? Would we be able to put our collective noggins together and figure a way off the damned island ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” or would we perish after a few weeks?

    Liked by 1 person

  63. YAY, I am finally considered ‘Cool*! But I am not a Kid as that is a Baby Goat.
    Speaking of which:
    If you were reincarnated into an animal, what would it be and why? Your answer can actually say a lot about you.

    Liked by 1 person

  64. I really love your approach to answering comments, and after encountering bloggers like you and others who respond to every comment, I have been working hard at trying to do the same on my blog… but it is TOUGH! Life has such a nasty habit of getting in between me and blogging. You are doing great work, Ally!

    My question is a three-parter: how many people in offline-life know that you blog? And do you ever get together with people you know from blogging (and nowhere else)? And do you ever get recognized in the wild? (Difficult, I know, without photos… but I feel like it COULD happen.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, you’re right that keeping up with blog comments can be tough. Like you said life gets in the way. I do try to plan ahead about when I’ll post BUT you know what… if I’m a few days late replying to a comment [or if I accidentally overlook one] so be it. My philosophy is: Live first, blog later.

      Thanks for the questions. I’ve added them to the list. July is shaping up to be a month of answers.

      Like

  65. I think one of the best parts of blogging is the comments, because it allows us to have a conversation with our readers in a way that isn’t possible with other forms of writing. I also think one of the worst parts of blogging is the comments, because keeping up with them can be daunting. (And I don’t get nearly as many comments as you do.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ann, you’ve perfectly explained the paradoxical nature of comments. I have a love/hate relationship with them, although once I found my groove about handling them it’s more love now.

      Liked by 1 person

  67. I know I’m on a blogging break, but this one intruded and just the questions being asked have been really interesting (and I may take inspiration from more than one or two of them myself!)

    My question: is the person we see here at the Spectacled Bean the real you, or only a slice of you? I know you choose (as do I) to exclude certain matters, but other than that bit of editing, do we get to see the real Ally Bean?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, how delightful of you to pop in here and ask a question. I agree that many of these questions are ones I’d never have thought to write about, which is why I did this post.

      Thanks for your questions. I’m adding them to the list.

      Like

  68. Replying to comments takes a lot of time. Well done on your method of keeping up. 🙂 No questions from me today. My brain is too lazy to come up with anything at the moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. Hi Ally, You have referred to “Cook Kids” in the past and often, and it is nice to read the history behind this phrase. I have read on other blogging sites about closing comments after a few weeks for a myriad of reasons. Good grief…388 comments…I will bookmark and return here to read. It is definitely fun to read how you reinvent yourself over the years…food for thought on my end of things…as you know, I visit often since blogging relationships are definitely a fun part of the blogosphere…my writing commitment/energy is on other projects at the moment…yet, my spirit and body start to vibrate with ideas when I read one of your posts, Ally. xx 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erica/Erika, the blogger who told me I was on of the Cool Kids said it at a time when I was feeling low about blogging and she buoyed me up. She’s long gone but like you mentioned, and I am honored to know that I am to you, she was someone whose unique idea started me down a new path of thought and doing. That might be the best thing about blogging, the way we help each other grow just by being who we are. Thanks for stopping by to comment. Always enjoy hearing from you❣️

      Liked by 1 person

  70. I understand closing comments, yet I’m disappointed when I’m late reading a blog post and miss out. Apologies for being the tardy one. I wanted to comment on your last post about rereading. Best to you, Ally.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jennie, I learned the hard crazy-making way about allowing comments to remain open too long. Although I’ll admit that the same closed comments that stop spam don’t seem to stop people from talking about things. Occasionally someone will leave a comment in the current open comment section about something I wrote previously and I’m good with that. Thanks for stopping by to read & comment. Happy Summer!

      Liked by 1 person

  71. You have the most followers of any blog I’ve ever seen! I’m always impressed with how you reply to every single comment. Thank you.

    I don’t know a lot about your background, but have you always lived in the Cincinnati area? Did you go to college in Ohio? And do you agree that Graeter’s is the best ice cream ever?

    Like

    • Bijoux, you know the thing is that I don’t have a huge follower count, but the people who follow are loyal and WORDY! I like it this way so I do attempt to reply to everyone and hope that if I miss someone I’m forgiven.

      Have added your questions to the list. Thanks for asking.

      Like

  72. Ally, I like the idea of being a cool kid by association! 😀

    Friendships formed here are very much part of the heart of blogging. In which ways are your friendships formed here similar and/or different to those in person?

    Like

  73. My questions:
    Can cool kids also be nerdy kids? (asking for a friend)
    Is there a question you will never ever answer because of the skeleton in the closet?
    Where do you hide the bodies?
    Is there such a thing as watching too much crime drama on TV?
    Is there such a thing as too many cats or too much chocolate?
    Where did I leave my car keys?
    Are you annoyed by stupid questions?

    Sincerely,
    Overtired and Hungry

    Like

  74. I feel like I’m always late to your party Ally so I’ll understand if this one isn’t included in your AMA post, but I’ve always wanted to know how long it takes you to reply to your comments section?

    In my head as well as a cool kid I have you pegged as an epic time manager, capable of keeping up with all your blog comments whilst still blogging, overseeing house renovations, tending your beautiful garden and the myriad of other things that fill your life. How do you do it?! Ok, that’s two questions, so let’s go with the first one: how long (on average) does it take?

    Like

  76. It’s cool to see so many people happily sitting down to chat here.
    You’re cool (of course) so the obvious question is what flavor of ice cream do you prefer. (Do you think ice cream choice reveals a lot about a person? Maybe, maybe not, I think. Some people are fans and dedicated to one flavor, some love experiments and variety, some may change as they mature – or move to a new place. Do you think there should be some research money available for a study on this? That would be cool..in so many ways)
    Well, frivolity is cool.
    Thanks for all the cool fun that is always here
    (And blog commenting is an unexpected bit of fun – time consuming – and guilt trip creating, but I try to keep up – knowing people really deserve to feel appreciated and heard. Unfortunately, like right now, life is intruding…maybe when the weather is cooler?)

    Like

    • philmouse, you make me laugh out loud. OF COURSE I’ll answer your questions because they’re the kind of in-depth interview questions that deserve a thoughtful reply. Also thanks for the compliments. I’m happy that people chat here, but it does take a bit of planning to reply to everyone in a timely way.

      Liked by 1 person

  77. Hi Ally, I have enjoyed reading all the comments (okay, I didn’t read them all), but enough to know that you have a lot of work to do for your July post. Not to add to the heap, but I did think of something that I’m curious about. What is your favorite color and why?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, thanks for the question. At this point I’m planning on having three posts, kind of by topics, to answer the questions. That way I can spread out my replies and not go crazy doing it.

      Liked by 1 person

  78. The comments are all cool as are your responses to them Ally Bean. Yes you’re a cool kid, and a cool adult too. You know it’s a saying ‘cool beans’? – it means nice, smart, sharp. Haven’t heard it in a while – so, cool beans, ally bean –

    Liked by 1 person

    • Susan, I like that saying and you’re right I haven’t heard it in a while either. It seems to apply to me, in this context at least. Thanks for stopping by to comment.

      Like

  79. That was definitely an awesome compliment. I’d be flattered too. Ah, to have the problem of too many comments to keep up with! 😛 Did some punk on here already ask you to explain the meaning of life? 😉

    Like

    • Betsy, sadly that blogger wasn’t around for more than a year, but from her I learned to never underestimate the value of saying something nice to someone.

      Thanks for the question. Adding it to the list.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh indeed about saying something nice to people! That’s why I made a point to compliment and thank again the people who made us such delicious food at that DnD place. I love trying to make people’s day. (Not in a Clint Eastwood sort of way.)

        Liked by 1 person

  80. Thanks for sharing the back story on cool kids. I admit in school I was a do-bee and also quite shy. I am still an introvert, but no longer shy. In school, I wished I was more outgoing and cool. Now I am deeply satisfied with who I am…most of the time. 🙂

    As for my questions, when you first started blogging, did you intentionally set out to build your tribe of cool kids or did it happen more organically? Besides the effort that goes into reading and responding to comments, what else surprised you about blogging?

    Like

    • Christie, in school I was a do-bee with a hint of cool kid, but not enough to qualify me as one. Like you I’m satisfied with who I am most of the time.

      I’ve added your questions to the list. Thanks for asking. All will be revealed in three [!] posts.

      Like

  81. Receiving so many comments not only proves you’re a “cool kid,” but also that you have a great blog, and you relate to your readers (and they relate to you). I was not a cool kid. Nor a popular kid. But I was liked, and probably seen as a bit aloof (because my head was always creating stories!). Here’s your question. Do you think before you write, or just go ahead and be a panster and write as the words come?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Pam, I appreciate people paying attention to this blog, of course, and I enjoy talking with people in the comments, so it’s good… but how I ended up here, I’m not sure. I like knowing you were a little aloof as a kid. I wonder if I was, too, now that I think on it.

      Thanks for your question. Have added it to the list. I’ll reply in July.

      Liked by 1 person

  82. I love this about you, Ally, that you interact with your readers. This is what blogging is all about – it’s a two-way street! Thanks for being so considerate about that! With all the comments you do receive on your posts, I don’t take it for granted!

    Like

    • San, thanks for the compliment. I try to be timely with my replies to comments and hope that I get them all. I agree that commenting is a two-way street, but some days that street gets darned busy.

      Like

  83. Pingback: An AMA post | I also live on a farm

  84. Ooh, lucky me! I’m getting my comment in before the three weeks is up. In my defense, I was off the grid, visiting family. I have no questions at this time, but I’ll chime in with everyone else and say how impressive you are with keeping up with the comments and all. In fact, my husband might suggest you are a “superior woman,” not just a “cool kid.” 🙂

    Oh, here’s a question: How often do people suggest that you should “monetize” your blog since you have created such an engaging community? Just curious because I see SO many posts about making $ from blogging (although “blog” seems to have become a four-letter word (which I know it is literally, but you know what I mean) among writers on platforms like Substack and Medium). And I am by no means suggesting that you should monetize. I’ve learned the hard way that when I write for $, my writing changes and not for the better.

    I like you just the way you are 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marie, thanks for adding a question to the list. Writers on Substack and Medium need to get over themselves, there’s nothing wrong with blogging. Sour grapes is what it sounds like to me. Anyhow I’ll answer your question when I do my July Reply series.

      Liked by 1 person

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