No Song, Gleam, Or Peace Here: Ms. Bean Reports On Her Noisy Morning Thus Far

/ Ally Bean

Good morning, my little rays of sunshine.

Or at least I wish it was a good morning.  I have no song in my heart.  No gleam in my eye.  And there is definitely no peace in my soul.

HERE IS WHY.

The following explains my morning so far.  Let me warn you that currently I’m not at my happiest.  Kind of snarly.

First, at 6:00 a.m. Zen-Den’s phone alarm chimed to inform him, and me be default, that is it was time for him, not me, to get up to face the day.  This is normal noise that I look forward to not hearing once he retires, something he claims will happen in September, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

He got up, but I snuggled under the covers to contemplate arising to meet the day at this awful hour continue sleeping, as one does.

THIS WAS NOT MEANT TO BE.

At 6:14 a.m. his phone started blaring its alert signal.  Yes, that horn sound went off, loudly, as if all heck had broken lose.  Z-D was in the shower, didn’t hear the alert signal, so I reluctantly got up to find out what the emergency was all about.

It was that an elderly woman had wandered away from a home on a street near here.  She was only wearing a light top and jammies bottoms, which considering the cold temps, is dangerous.  Be on the lookout for her, so I will be.

Clearly at this point I was awake so I decided to go downstairs and make a pot of coffee.  This is my usual morning routine, just maybe not this early, but whatever.

I can adapt.

I can be useful.

I can sip coffee and mutter quietly in the corner.

THAT, SADLY, DID NOT HAPPEN.  

You see, I brewed the coffee without any trouble but as I sat there in the semi-darkness caffeinating myself with said coffee I heard a noise.  A noise that can only mean one thing. One lousy, awful, undoubtedly expensive thing.

The noise was the desperate sound of an animal trapped inside the house, probably in the attic or maybe in the walls, who was, and still is, scraping, pawing, flaying itself around in an attempt to escape from the inside our house.

WHERE IT SHOULD NOT BE.

And on that note of irritation I shall end this post.  Trying to not hear the noise that is going on over my head.  Trying to not be distressed by the events thus far on this ill-fated Friday morning.

Hoping that you, my little rays of sunshine, have something positive to tell me about your day.  Distract me, please.

 

 

214 thoughts on “No Song, Gleam, Or Peace Here: Ms. Bean Reports On Her Noisy Morning Thus Far”

  2. Oh, Darn, Ally, I was sitting on the couch thinking about this recently. We rarely, although it happens, have a bird somehow fall down the chimney. After a great deal of chaos, my husband manages to catch and release it outside. My concern is I have no idea what I would do if (heaven forbid) he is not home one day. I know the song, gleam, and peace will return…and the little critter will find it’s way out.😊

    Liked by 3 people

    • Erica/Erika, when I was a child a couple birds got into our house through the chimney. I hadn’t thought of that in years. I don’t know what I’d do about that now either. I do know what happens with animals in your attic, though. It’s not nice. 😑

      Liked by 1 person

      • I had to chime in, Ally…I am still on “pause” mode, yet I pop in and read when I can – ironically, I had the bird thought this past week…along with how many things are ‘blue zones and pink zones’ in our marriage…and I do not want to end up responsible for ‘purple’ Good luck!😊

        Liked by 2 people

  3. No help from me – I was up at o’dark thirty to do laundry (community laundry room, so you know how that works, and if you don’t lucky you), had an email from the accountant that we will owe the Feds money and it’s only 9am and I’m already dead on my feet because I got maybe 3-4 hours sleep last night – there is an upside, it is a bright sunshiny morning and they say the temps may go to the low 60’s – so open windows. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    Liked by 3 people

    • Grace, your day is off to a weird start, too. I remember living in apartment buildings [and dorms] where you had to calculate when to do your laundry so that you could get it done as smoothly as possible. *sigh*

      I hope you get to open your windows today. That sounds delightful, it’s bleak cold winter here.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Hopefully whatever animal is trapped can get out safely! Our dog alerted us to a raccoon in the back yard that was hanging around all day (we named him – or her – “Bumbles”). I almost let him in the back door when I opened it to check out where it was. Woops! It was right at the back door. I couldn’t have slammed that door shut any faster. In the past, our house has been skunked, my dog has been skunked, and in 2021 we had a dead squirrel and a dead blue jay in our yard. A raccoon in the house would have been the thing to tip my sanity the other way.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Steve, I’m glad that you and Bumbles didn’t have to get to know each other on a more personal basis. Slamming the door was a wise move. Raccoons are mean vicious animals with no shame from what I can figure. Your poor dog got skunked? Oh I feel sorry for him and you. We used to live in an area with skunks, they make themselves known!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. My husband has done the same thing as Zen-Den, only worse. It’s not Zen-Den’s fault there was an alert, after all. No, my husband hit the snooze button on his phone and left it on the beside table after he got up. And he did this more than once. To his wife who sleeps very lightly, spent years with her sleep constantly disrupted by HIS snoring, and is the only one to wake up at night when dog/ cat/ child is ill or in distress.

    I sometimes wonder if the man knows how close he has come to death.

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Prune lattes and Spam pancakes?! You understand I can’t unsee these things now, right?

    I can relate to the trapped critter noises. I tolerated that too long. Finally ripped out a closet wall to let a live mouse escape and remove decades of carcasses (super ick!) Well, fixing that wall just started the process in a different one. Had some rats in the attic, too. Well, I put a stop to all that nonsense with many traps. They were even invading the camper van!

    I hope they found the poor wandering woman.

    A couple days ago, my brother in Cleveland was parked, off street, in front of a pizza place and a suspect being chased by Homeland Security lost control and smashed into his car (well the van parked next to him, which then smashed his car). Talk about a rude awakening! Because of the van, he never even saw it coming.

    So, be happy it was only an alarm.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Eilene, don’t you wonder about the coffee and the pancake ideas? I won’t be having them for my breakfast, but once I saw this images I knew I had to save them to include in a post here someday.

      Your story of critters is disturbing, but ultimately encouraging. I know animals get into houses, have had it happen before, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

      What a story about your brother’s car. I’m glad your brother is okay and presumably his car can be repaired. I don’t suppose Homeland Security will be footing the bill for his damages, though.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Brother is okay. Car is toast. Got VIP medical treatment – in and out of emergency in an hour, visit from the hospital admin, etc. My husband thinks he should get an attorney and brand new car (obviously HSA is worried about getting sued over this). I doubt he will do that, though.

        Liked by 3 people

  7. A prune latte and Spamcakes. I’d never get out of bed.

    With Rick’s snoring and his THREE-ALARM SYSTEM for waking (first, his clock radio, then his cell phone, then fifteen minutes of music), we no longer sleep in the same room during the week. I had to do something to protect my sleep and my sanity.

    Good luck with the Intruder. Can you borrow a neighbor’s cat or dog?

    Liked by 2 people

    • nance, Rick’s system for getting up in the morning would be too much for me, too. I cannot imagine sleeping so soundly that you’d need that much noise to wake you. 😳

      I won’t be having a prune latte or Spamcakes, but once I came across those breakfast ideas I knew I needed to share them here.

      Like

  9. I found those spam pancakes pretty distracting so it seems you are good at taking care of yourself. My husband is a restless sleeper, often gets up at 4 or 5, likes to sleep with music or the TV, snores, all the damn things. I finally moved him to the guest room and we are both much happier. Sounds drastic, I know and I’m not suggesting you toss dear Zen-Den out of the room, but as some wise philosopher once said, ( or maybe just some wise ass) “It could be worse”. As for sounds from the attic, good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anna, I can understand why you moved your husband into a guest bedroom. He can go be noisy and disruptive on his own. Z-D doesn’t snore much, but he does need an alarm to get up in the morning. Sometimes I get up then, other times I try to ignore the thing. As for the scratching noises in the attic, or wherever, I am not thrilled but pragmatic. If trapped inside too long, the noise problem will take care of itself. 🤨

      Liked by 1 person

  10. First, how do I unsee the spam pancakes? Oh my.
    I slept for almost 6 straight hours for the first time in forever. My wonderful Annie is my retirement alarm clock. I gave her food and fresh water before starting my day. It was peaceful and relaxed.
    I’ve had my share of critters in the attic. I empathize with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lauren, you ask a good question about the pancakes! I don’t think you can unsee them, which is why I had to post that image here. I am occasionally a bit devilish. 😈

      Your Annie alarm clock sounds wonderful and a good way to start your day. Eventually we’ll get to the point where we’ll rise whenever we want, but at the moment the alarm on the phone is what we use. As for the unwelcome critter, time may take care of this particular one. But if there’s one, he probably has friends with him.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I was sure you were going to say the elderly woman was attempting to get into your house- being half frozen and probably confused! Has anyone found her yet? It’s only 6:30 here so I have no real distracting news unless you care that our freeways are full of accidents and backed up for commuters. I have had 3 nights of odd, very odd, dreams that all relate to family in some way or other. I should have written them down, but now they are lost except for the leftover unsettling nature.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Deb, I don’t know anything more about the elderly woman. When she’s found, my guess is we won’t get an update from the alert system, but the HOA may send an email. Or not, who knows? I’ve had odd vivid dreams all month of February. I’m not distressed by them but like you there are troubles involving family members. I don’t remember the deets, just that the dreams seemed unnecessarily mixed up.

      Liked by 1 person

      • They do missing senior type alerts on the news around here as well so we usually know the outcome. Odd dreams for you as well…are we experiencing an unheard of symptom of Covid perhaps?? A new mutation- because if it can’t kill us with breathing it will just take our mind…

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  12. Oh Ally NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    Okay, okay. Good things. Distracting things. Um, what have I got, what have I got. I have coffee in a Muppets mug right now. I am going to get my booster shot and after that watch an episode of the Golden Girls. I’m wearing a t-shirt that was in my Christmas stocking and it says “Jane Elizabeth Mary Kitty but fuck Lydia” and it cracks me up every time I look in the mirror. I showed my SIL and now anytime anything bad happens she texts me “fuck Lydia.”

    A prune latte! That would certainly get things moving in the morning.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Oh dear – I think you day calls for a do-over. I recommend popping yourself back in your jammies, crawling under the covers and taking a nap. And then upon waking, having chocolate. Guaranteed re-set! Do not – I repeat do not – have spam cakes instead. You’ll just have to start all over again, and probably have a tummy ache to boot.

    My day started on a much better note, and I delighted myself by taking a picture through the eyepiece of a kaleidoscope. The result looks like a field of flowers to me, and you know how I feel about flowers. Sending you a virtual bunch.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Deborah, I didn’t think about having a do-over. It is February, the month of the movie Ground Hog Day. Perhaps that’s what I need, with chocolate of course. I won’t be trying the Spamcakes any time soon– well, ever. Nor the prune latte.

      I bet your photo using the eyepiece is cool. I’ve tried to take a photo through the bezeled glass gems in the windows that surround our front door but nothing came of it. Just a blurry mess. Thanks for the virtual flowers.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m pretty sure it’s the old lady. They can make themselves really tiny and slip through any little crack. If there is no crack, they will make one. You can try stuffing some SPAM pancakes through the crack to see if it shuts her up.
    I wouldn’t give her the prune latte though.

    Liked by 4 people

  16. I agree with you – one of the best things about being retired is NOT waking up to an alarm (most mornings). After setting the alarm for 4:30 most mornings, waking up whenever I feel like it is a treat. Here is something to look forward to: only 37 days until spring, glorious spring!!! Green grass, the smell of flowers, and birds chirping in the trees.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Laurie, considering Z-D used to get up at 5:15 a.m. sleeping in until 6:00 a.m. is a treat. One that we have Covid-19 to thank now that he works from home most days. It’s 37 days until spring? Oh that is a positive piece of news. I may suffer from rose fever [the name my doctor uses for my allergies to spring pollen] but I like spring. It’s pretty and there’s no ice to deal with.

      Like

  17. Funny you should mention critters. We had one under our kitchen island. Deceased. THE SMELL. All my pots and pans were washed and sitting all over my kitchen while we tried to combat the stench. For weeks. Better to hear them scampering than not. Enjoy that coffee!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Maggie, you raise an excellent point. One I’d not thought about. One that should it happen will make me even less happy than I am right now. Scamper away, my little annoying critter. Live long and prosper… elsewhere.

      Like

  18. Oh boy, been there. Done that. My vote is a red squirrel. Those little bastards have found more ways into our house that you’d think possible. This is the time of year they’re looking for spring nesting sites. I swear I didn’t send our resident red bitch your way… sadly she’s still here wrecking little squirrelly havoc.

    Liked by 2 people

    • River, good point about what squirrels are up to this time of year. How this critter got into the house I can’t figure. We had a new roof put on a few years ago, and at the price we paid for it there should never be any problems with unwanted guests. 😖

      Liked by 1 person

      • They rarely come in through the roof. Last year we had a pair scramble up the gutter downspout and chew their way into the eaves. Red squirrels are horribly destructive.

        Like

  19. made me feel good that you call all of your regulars your “little rays of sunshine” (that and “distract me”) Hoping the rest of your day straightens itself out. DM

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Awww, baby Lou! (Which is what I call my daughter when she’s having a bad day.) It’s no fun when days start like this. Or end like this either. My hip is hurting, but that’s no distraction for you. What might distract you? Counting the days until September? We did that for five months last year until Barry retired. If you enjoying counting, that is. ((hugs!))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Kathy, thanks for your sympathy. I appreciate being called “Baby Lou.” This could be about the dumbest series of noisy events in the history of dumb noisy things happening to me. I’m going to hold off on the retirement countdown, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this idea– and it didn’t happen. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  21. What a morning for you!!! I was rudely awakened at one this morning by a snowplow that continued to plow for two hours. So not much sleep. I have consumed copious amounts of caffeine. Hope your day gets better!

    Liked by 1 person

    • L. Marie, snow plows make a racket, don’t they? Ours come through around 5:00 a.m. so I’m about finished with the idea of sleeping. Hearing them in the middle of the night would be far worse. Have a cup of joe on me!

      Like

    • Natalie, things are going better now. I just had to share my early morning adventures in noise. After all, this is what personal blogging is all about, the little things of life.

      Like

  24. I am NOT going to tell you about the time a bird got trapped inside our bedroom wall. And was there for days and days and days. That would NOT be distracting. Although, the denouement of that story was pretty comical and led to some drywall repair. I am using big words like “denouement” because I am minutes away from embarking on a lesson on 3 major schools of literary criticism, and so it seems like a good day for big literary words. Although, now that I think about it, it’s Friday. I’m betting my lesson is not going to put a smile on my students’ faces (or any of those other things Lucy says we should have). I should be serving Spam pancakes instead. Whoops–almost late. We are going to be reading Where the Wild Things Are, though, so there’s that.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Rita, a trapped bird you say? I suppose our unwanted visit could be a bird and not a critter. I cannot see it, so why not? A bird sounds less menacing to me.

      Literary criticism on a Friday in February sounds like an adventure in teaching. I wish you well, and hope that Where The Wild Things Are turns out to be the light at the end of the deep thinking tunnel. I’m sure I could not tell you anything about the 3 major schools of criticism at this point, but the word ‘denouement’ I know.

      Liked by 1 person

      • There was some deep thinking. Fascinating discussion about parenting, among other things.
        We knew it was a bird because we could hear the wings fluttering. It was actually really distressing, especially as the activity started to lessen. I hope you have an easy resolution to that problem.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. I remember when it was MY alarm that went off first. Mick was an early riser and usually waited until I had showered and left before getting up. Now? I hear my son’s alarm (sometimes) and stupid o’clock (4:30) and hope and pray that I will not stay awake. Not that it mattered last night/this morning as I was awake from 2-5, WTF?
    I cannot unsee the prune latte or spam doohickey – ugh.
    When living at my parents, I used to have a rat that would gnaw at my head (behind the walls). I’d punch the wall and he’d (she’d?) leave, coming back later. Finally was caught but not fun.
    My aunt had a family of raccoons in her attic and get this – was NOT ALLOWED to disturb THEM until they moved out…
    Hope all your issues get resolved and right quick!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dale, you were awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night when you didn’t want to be? Oh, that’s so annoying, but I can relate to that. I know what you mean about the food items featured in the post. They stopped me in my tracks so you know I had to share them here. Had to, I tell ‘ya.

      A rat in your wall sounds like trouble, but the idea of not disturbing the raccoon family seems overly kind to me. My logic is if a critter isn’t contributing to the mortgage payment, then it is a squatter who has to go.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I was. It annoys me to no end when this happens. If I were smart enough to just get up, go read and then go back to bed… but you keep yawning and you keep thinking, this is it…

        I hear ya. Ya just had to!

        It was not fun. It became a thing. Bang on the wall before bed. We finally got the little schmuck. And I agree (as did my aunt) that if you squatting, you leaving!

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Are you going to call the critter catcher to get the bangy-scratchy thing out of your attic?

    I set my phone to only make horrible noises when there’s a weather warning. Of course, that means it goes off when there’s a flood warning that’s nowhere near us (and those usually come at 3 AM). But you might want to mention something to Zen-Den about it. That said, I hope they find the old lady.

    Spam Cakes…. mmmmmmmmm…

    Liked by 2 people

    • John, we’ll be calling someone to come remove the critter if we can figure out where he is exactly AND to check the roof. You just know this is going to cost big $$$ before it’s all over.

      I have my phone set the way you have yours set, but for some reason Z-D doesn’t. His goes off alerting him/us to all sorts of problems. I’ve heard nothing about the lost woman, but figure the HOA will update when they know something. Situations like this one are tailor-made for the Gladys Kravitz tendencies of some HOA board members.

      Liked by 2 people

  28. My alarm goes off at 6.30, but I just thought of one of Himself’s alarms to get a feel for your morning. His standard alarm goes off at 4.50 but, of late, it’s been going at 3am twice a week as well. Fortunately it’s the dulcet tones of John Denver singing Country Roads, so a vast improvement on the booming tones of the Russian national anthem (in honour of his best friend who died a couple of years ago). Some mornings, I even sing along – which he hates 😀

    Good luck with the scratcher – hope it’s not the confused and missing old lady, although she might be easier to coax out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Deb, I don’t mind alarms going off for a purpose like getting to work on time. Z-D has his set to a rather jaunty rumba tune. I don’t think I’d like hearing the Russian national anthem, or any national anthem, as an alarm. Tchaikovsky has some lovely tunes– should Himself want to honor is late friend again.

      As for our unwanted guest critter, we’ll see what happens next. It’s quiet now. Tired? Escaped? Dearly departed? What the quiet means I cannot say for sure. Still not happy about any of this…

      Like

  29. Well, at least you were asleep when the alarm went off. In my world, I’m already awake when hubby’s alarm sounds at 5:15 am, which is honestly a relief. I have terrible insomnia these days.

    Those phone alarms drive me bonkers. They are particularly fun when you’re driving! I hope your critter is just a mouse and not something bigger. Peaceful dreams this evening.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Bijoux, sorry to learn about your insomnia. These last few years, I’ve had many people tell me they aren’t sleeping well. Perhaps another side effect of Covid-19?

      YES about those phone alerts while you’re driving. Good point. They make me jump every time. I guess I could turn off my phone when I’m driving, but that seems counterproductive.

      Like

    • Mark, I agree that “dangerous snow squalls” is a different kind of emergency alert message. I’ve never seen that one although I have been told to be aware of drifting snow. Like I don’t know what snow does and couldn’t figure that out on my own?

      Liked by 1 person

  32. It’s still early here, and I haven’t had my coffee, so my immediate assumption was that the missing elderly lady is in your attic. I bet if you cooked up some Spamcakes, the delightful fragrance will lure your uninvited guest to your kitchen, where you can share a prune latte with them, then send them on their way, and enjoy a blissful Friday afternoon.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. I looked for a way to connect to your morning, and it didn’t work so well. I love Spam (although the Bisquick can stay on the store shelves as far as I’m concerned!) One of the first things I did when I got my new phone was turn off every possible alert, so Sunshine (my name for my yellow phone) stays sunny and quiet. I only set a wake-up alarm if I have a special reason to be somewhere at 5 or 6 a.m.. Otherwise, I sleep through the night and wake at 5:30, just like (ahem) clockwork.

    There were some animal-like noise that my neighbors and I were hearing this winter, but we ignored them, and they went away. Since the aroma of death never floated around, we decided that our visitor had moved on or been eaten. Either was perfectly fine with us.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Linda, I haven’t had Spam in years. If I were to have some I’d want a sandwich not a Spamcake. That sounds and looks awful to me.

      I like your phone’s name. Clearly Sunshine knows when to speak up and when to remain quiet. My phone is Teal-y McBeal-y but I don’t think Z-D’s phone has a name. No wonder it’s so noisy.

      I like how you efficiently handled your maybe wild critter situation. If there are no further scratches from today’s guest, and no stench, then I’m willing to move on. BUT if this continues I’m sure it won’t be easy to evict the little squatter.

      Liked by 1 person

  36. I was also back footed this fine Friday morning. Got to my pottery class on the dot 9.30 – no one there. Put out a message on the whats app – teacher phoned me. She’d let her usual Friday class know it was cancelled. I don’t usually do Fridays but this was a catch up class for me o/a my being away for a while. She’d forgotten poor ol’ me. It’s a bit of a distance – no matter, but I’ve been back footed all day! Hope the lady in her jammies was successfully returned home AND the critter caroling away in the roof beams has found another home. Peace be yours Ally Bean – the weekend too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Susan, what a bummer about your class cancellation. I understand how it happened, but there you go, time wasted, expectations not met.

      I don’t know what has become of the lost woman. The HOA will probably update when they know, considering it happened within this subdivision. At this moment the noisy critter is quiet. I hope he has moved along to somewhere else like THE WHOLE FOREST behind this house. I’m sure he’d be quite happy there. 🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  37. OH, my, I was OK and smiling until the animal. It’s like that dread I felt seeing water drip out of my ceiling on Thanksgiving. Sometimes it’s tempting just to stay in bed and pull the covers up over our heads. Ignorance can indeed be bliss. Hope the animal can be removed with as little fuss as possible. Keep us updated!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Margaret, if only I had stayed in bed hiding under the covers, then none of this would have happened! Ok, maybe not true, but it seems like a good story. Yes the scratchy sounds are like your drippy ceiling. File them under THINGS NOT WANTED. Yet we deal with them, don’t we?

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  38. We have called people from Wildlife Rescue when there have been critters in the attic. The derelict neighbor’s house next door had raccoons living in the attic for a while. She finally had the hole in the roof repaired, and I called the Rescue people come and make sure they weren’t trapped. They weren’t. Do you know if there is a Wildlife Rescue there? Or some organization that might help with that? Other than that, I’m trying to think of something funny. How about my sibs and I play Wordle every morning and write to each other about our scores. What did we do before Wordle? I have no idea.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Robin, good advice. Thank you. I don’t know if there is a Wildlife Rescue around here, but will look into it. At the moment all is quiet on the attic front.

      I know what you mean about Wordle. All of a sudden it’s THE topic of information which makes me love it. Anything that doesn’t inflame divisive opinions is a win-win in my world.

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  39. I know the EXACT feeling of being awakened — and then re-awakened/re-bothered — by a spouse’s alarm/notifications. I have a grim look on my face, in solidarity.

    This may not be distracting to you, but it is to me: I called the IRS today to request a piece of information that I SHOULD be able to get online, but cannot. The website directs me to call. The phone number says that they are experiencing heavy call volume, so heavy that they WILL NOT take my call. I have to call back a different day. Sigh.

    Another distraction on this end: Where are the Fritos? Is there a Frito shortage? None to be found at two grocery stores. Hmmm…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Suzanne, thanks for your understanding and empathy. My father was a doctor and our phone rang at all times of the day and night. It comes with the job.

      I have a low opinion of the IRS so your experience, while completely ass backwards, doesn’t surprise me. I’m sorry about what happened, but think of how the IRS has gifted you with an opportunity to talk with them in the future so that you are not sitting around home twiddling your thumbs with nothing to do.

      No Fritos? Those we have. No cream cheese here, so my idea about making a red velvet cake for Valentine’s Day is on hold.

      Liked by 1 person

  40. I, too, thought you were going to say it was the missing elderly woman knocking at your door. We have a lot of nighttime visitors in our back yard and I can hear them walking along the roof. Sometimes they knock things over. Once I heard such a ruckus on the back porch I went to investigate and opened the door to catch two raccoons having an “intimate moment.” Thankfully all of our visitors stay on the outside. Don’t know what I’d do if there were critters in the walls. Probably move. Hope things improve for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janis, I like your reasoning. While my morning started off with much too much noise, I can take comfort in knowing that I am not eating Spamcakes or drinking a prune latte. Both sound awful to me, together or separately.

      Liked by 2 people

  42. Only 19,918,766 seconds to go until the end of September and then you may never have to use strange words like “alarm clock” or “6am” again … They are not needed during an Endless Weekend! That’s a cheerful thought, no?

    And if that doesn’t work then how about this: what part of the male anatomy can grow to more than twice its size when excited?
    Hint: it starts with the letter P!

    Answer: pupil 👁! Why… what were YOU thinking? 😁

    Liked by 2 people

    • Endless Weekend, yes you’ve given me a cheerful thought. Now if Mr. Man actually follows through and retires, it’ll come true.

      As for your question and the misleading way in which you asked it, FUNNY. That is a dad joke for a more mature audience.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Our goal is to be in the shoes of the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey who asked “what is this week-end” 🙂 We have the link to that clip if Mr. Ally Bean will benefit from it 🙂

        And my jokes have been called a lot worse, so much that I’ll readily take that as a compliment (but won’t push my luck with its follow up). At least you felt a FUNNY. Challenge completed 🙃

        Liked by 1 person

  43. As per your distraction request: I’m hearing Pooh’s song while he’s trying to fool the bees into thinking he’s not something to be fearful of while he collects honey from their beehive “I’m just a little black raincloud…” Let that earworm distract you! From your musical moonbeam.
    😎

    Liked by 2 people

    • Donna, you are right. Some of the best blog posts are about dumb things that happen to me/us along the way. Would prefer to NOT HAVE AN ANIMAL in the attic, but it does make good blog fodder. And the comments, as usual, are great.

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  45. Well I am watching two of my grandkids (3 and 5) for 2 weeks and I am exhausted! It is 24/7 busy days, alert sleeping at night, meals, snacks, toys, games… I have 9 days to go! It seems I have forgotten how to do all of this (and I had 5 kids! ) it’s fun too but I need more patience sometimes! 🤪

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ellen D, I can imagine how tired you are. It takes a certain skill set to watch kids that young– and it takes endless energy. I’m sure you’ll do great & look back on these weeks with a smile, but when it’s over I bet you’ll sleep like nobody’s business.

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  46. The prune latte and spam pancakes are worse than husbands alarms and animals in the attic. My day started with my husband hitting snooze four times on his cell phone alarm which he had set to MY cell ringtone, and I hadn’t been able to fall asleep until after 3am as it was with a bad toothache. This morning I called but couldn’t get a dentist appointment scheduled until next week. I’m a huge help on the corner of positivity and happiness aren’t I? Let’s try to have a nice weekend somehow!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Martha, I tend to agree with you about the latte and pancakes; they don’t look enticing to me, just plain weird. I’m sorry to read about your toothache and how long it’s going to take for you to see the dentist. That’s just a bummer.

      I’d probably lose my mind if my husband and I had the same ringy-dings on our phones. I feel for you there. I’m with you in that I’m going to have a nice weekend, dagnabbit.

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      • My hubby’s regular ringtone is different but for some reason he set his alarm with my regular one (insert bad word I may or may not have called my husband this morning here). I woke up thinking my phone was ringing at that early hour of the morning!

        Yes, we are going to have a good weekend – I insist!

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  47. Ugh. I hate when I wake up when Coach gets up, usually he gets up so early I don’t even hear him. Other times, . . . grumble, grumble. I could’ve slept in yesterday, because I had the day off. Instead I was up early and couldn’t get back to sleep. Then this morning, I was dead asleep when my alarm went off.

    Good things to report: well, the weather was in the 40s today, so I was able to take my 4 little people out for a walk in my monster size stroller. My vacuum broke, but while I was on the phone getting ready to have it serviced over the phone it started working again. Good that it is working, bad that it will most likely fade out again the next time I vacuum and I’ll have to start the phone call process over again.

    Sorry about the critter inside your home. Yikes, that is not fun. Not sure if you ever saw my post about the mama raccoon and her 4 babies swimming in my blow up pool during the pandemic? Well, that was a hoot – at least they were OUTSIDE. I started calling it my raccoon spa.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ernie, I understand about not waking up, but then waking up when you don’t want to. Such is the life of any couple who live by alarms. Must have them, must learn to adjust.

      You can get a vacuum fixed over the phone? Ours are doing well, but they’re the replacements for their previous cousins… who did not like to vacuum. Newbies are all into sucking up dirt, as of today at least.

      I don’t remember your mama and baby raccoons which I would remember because I like the absurdities of life. OUTSIDE a raccoon may life its best life. Inside my house if you aren’t contributing to the mortgage, you are not wanted.

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  49. Ugh, what a rude awakening and annoying morning! A trap in the attic might do the job.

    Well, let’s see if this perks you up. I went to see if the Wood Ducks were still at a nearby pond- one pair are still there! Then I grabbed some takeaway and went back to eat and watch the pond. It was lovely, and I added a few more birds to my checklist today.

    I hope the afternoon and evening have been much better than your morning and I hope you get to sleep in tomorrow. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Deborah, the trap idea is what I said, too. In the meantime Z-D has contacted an animal removal company to come check out what has happened AND the temps have gone up so that the ice has melted off the roof meaning that someone can go up there to check on things. No noise from said varmint since noon. Tomorrow I sleep!

      Liked by 1 person

  50. It may not even be a critter/bird IN your attic. I kept hearing all the noises that sounded like something/someone was creeping along the roof and could hear it when sitting next to the window while in the house – turned out to be birds and squirrels hanging out in the gutters for some reason.
    My husband charges his phone in the main living area – so when he was still working; his alarm wasn’t located in the bedroom. Maybe, move his phone somewhere other than the bedside?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Gigi, you know now that you say that I have to wonder. We’ve had squirrels who were fond of our gutter in the summer, could be that they’re still there in the winter making a racket.

      Not a bad idea about the husband’s cell phone. The problem is that he needs the alarm to get up on the days when he’s going into the office to work, but other days when he’s at home his schedule is freer. I’ve gotten used to the alarm, but the alert system is something entirely different.

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  51. I certainly hope your day got better after that rather awful start!! Distract you? I finally got my Christmas decorations packed up and put back in the garage, watered the various cacti and bushes in the yard, did a bunch of business things, and even got a book read. I was trying to keep from dozing off, so I did a bit of mopping and am now reading blog posts. Another exciting day in my life, but one without alarms and scratching sound, which is good, and I did get lots done that needed doing. Looking forward to some relaxing time with my husband this evening. He’s currently changing a flat tire on his bike. 😦 Just remember what Scarlett said, “Tomorrow IS another day!”

    janet

    Liked by 2 people

    • Janet, I’m glad you got your Christmas decorations put away. I know that was something you wanted to do, so good job. I need to read more books, but seem to get caught up in blogland or reading the news instead. I hope your evening is relaxing even with the flat tire. I’m looking to have a quiet pleasant weekend, filled with no unwanted critters or emergency alerts. May yours be what you want to!

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  52. That really sounds like an unpleasant start to the morning. I hope whatever wildlife has found its way in also finds its way out. We’ve had an owl munching in rabbits and leaving pieces in our yard (we feed the birds, the birds drop seeds, the rabbits eat the dropped seeds, so we feed the owls) for our dog to find. At some point I’m guessing we’ll run out of rabbits and the owl will move on but I’d like that to be sooner because shoveling rabbit innards so my dog doesn’t find them is NOT my favorite.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Katie, we’ve had that same thing happen here with owls eating mice. Then there are mice nuggets in the yard. We don’t have a dog but the neighbors did and had to deal with the ickiness of it. I feel for you. We used to feed the birds but a mean old raccoon stole the feeder right in front of my eyes. He was dragging it behind him, on his way to his nest itnthe forest. I screamed at him, he begrudgingly stopped mid-theft, and we stopped feeding the birds. 😖

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  53. Not off to a rip-roaring start. Your tale reminded me of something that happened during my teaching days. One of the school neighbors (a guy who probably was not quite right in the head) started tossing food scraps over his fence onto the school grounds. I have no idea why. Eventually, the school had to file a complaint as who wants to get hit by a flying meatball? The police visited him and asked him to stop. End of story, right? No, he got even more ticked off and came over to the school at night and started ripping the air vents that provide ventilation under the building. Again, no idea why, but he was caught doing it on camera. A skunk crawled through the vent and took up residence under our classroom. It would periodically spray, and the fumes came oozing in. It smelled awful, but of course, the children acted like it was life-threatening poison. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

    • Pete, what a weird experience all around. Your school had a crazy neighbor to be sure, but beyond that a skunk in the ventilation system? That’s just yuck. I’ve no doubt that the kids took the scent of its spray to the extreme. I mean, when I was a kid I probably would have too. Add some chaotic interest to the structured school day. 😈

      Liked by 1 person

    • Joni, I don’t think it’s a bat. They usually stick to the forest behind here. We have squirrels that use our roof as a connector route from the front yard to the forest behind here. That’s my guess. All is quiet this morning.

      Liked by 1 person

  57. Oh me oh my oh dear. Ally’s horrible no good very bad day. I hope the critter got out. When we got our new microwave, the installer found a dead bird and a dead bat in the vent pipe. Yuck. That’s what that smell was. We never heard them. I hope today started and ends better.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Annie, all is quiet now. I don’t know what happens next. I am saying a loud YUCK here about your microwave vent pipe. So far today is going much better than yesterday morning.

      Like

  59. Lucy’s over-bouyant / over-bearing attitude in the cartoon reminded me of this:
    Proverbs 27:14 King James Version
    14 He that blesseth his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Zen-Den! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marian, YES! Now that’s a Bible quote that is as relevant today as it was when it was first recorded. Love it. Thanks for sharing it here.

      Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too. ❤️

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  60. I see that the noise stopped. Quick! get one of those people that find where the noise has gotten into your house and block it up. Then again, that noise was frequently just the raccoons climbing up and down the deck supports or wandering over the roof. Maybe it’s nothing. I like denial.

    I also like fried spam in pancakes. My mom used to make that once in a while. I can’t stand “raw” spam but I love it friend and in a pancake or topping a bagel with cream cheese and fried spam. It’s a craving that hits every couple of years or so.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zazzy, as of this moment the weird animal noise has stopped. You’re right that it could be an animal outside the house and the noise is resonating within. We’ll need to get a roof inspector here to see if he can figure it out. In the meantime, fingers crossed.

      I remember eating friend Spam sandwiches as a kid. I haven’t had any in years but if I were to try it again that’s what I’d do.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Crystal, the critter noises have gone away now, but I don’t know if the critter has scampered off or if it’s RIP. As for better sleeping, the weekend has been quiet and I’m feeling refreshed again.

      Liked by 1 person

  63. Well as least you started out with a cute Peanuts cartoon. That was great!
    I’m pretty good at going back to sleep, not very good at getting up early.

    I hope the noise story ends well. My daughter had a squirrel caught somewhere inside her roof or walls. (It was quite a few years ago.) They had to get a squirrel-removal expert to get it out before it had babies or died and smelled bad. (I’m not sure which. As I said, it was years ago.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nicki, we had this happen years ago, too. At that time an animal removal guy trapped the squirrel on the roof. The frightened squirrel immediately died in the trap on the roof– which was jolly, not.

      Liked by 1 person

  64. Once we found a dead mouse in the laundry room after hearing noises in the wall for several days… Another time we heard noises in the wall for a couple of hours and then it stopped. I take it you don’t have a cat. They are usually on top of such problems. Was the wandering elderly woman ever located? I hope the rest of your morning was more peaceful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Barbara, the noises have stopped, but what that means for us I don’t know. I do know that we’re going to have our roof checked as soon as we can. No cats anymore so no help there. There were no additional alerts about the elderly woman so I figure she must have been found.

      Liked by 2 people

  65. Pingback: Stretching the legs, unclenching the brain: Feb. 13 – A Silly Place

  67. Well, it’s Sunday now and I hope there are no alarms or critters in the wall…that you were able to sleep in and have your coffee at a reasonable time. Have a wonderful week, Ally.

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  68. Here in Ottawa, we too are dealing with creatures invading where they should not be. But that’s another story. Here’s something funny: We went to my hometown today to visit my Mom. On our way home we stopped at the local establishment to buy wine for our Super Bowl gathering this evening. The store is located at the end of Truelove Street. When we looked up the store inventory online to see if they had a particular kind of wine, we noticed they had their location listed on a banner across the top of my phone street. It read, “Your location: Truelove, at a dead end.” My husband and I are trying not to take that as a bad omen for Valentine’s Day. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Arlene, I doubt it’s a bad omen because it’s too funny to be one. What a hoot. I love ridiculous things like that so thanks for sharing it here. My kind of humor. Happy Valentine’s Day 🍷

      Liked by 1 person

  69. Welp, I’m reading this on Sunday evening, so I can only hope it all worked out for the best. We’re not Super Bowl-type people, but if you are, maybe turn up the TV so it’s really loud and then you won’t hear the noises of the creature trapped in your walls. Sorry, that’s all I got…

    Liked by 2 people

  70. I finally opted out of phone alerts, because I got tired of 3:00 “emergency” sounds about a missing person 500 miles away from me. Sounds cruel, I know, but seriously, how could I possibly help with that? As for whatever is stuck in your walls, I sincerely hope it finds its way out…for your sake and it’s sake too!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ann, I have my phone set so that the alerts are quiet when they arrive. I see them when I get to them, but my husband gets his loudly in the moment. I hope we figure out what was, or still is, in there. Things have been quiet for over 48 hours now.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Amanda, as of today, Monday morning, the critter noises have stopped, but we still don’t know how it got into the house. Once the snow and ice are melted, probably in a few weeks, we’ll be able to get someone to climb onto the roof and check it for holes. Until then… we wait.

      Happy Valentine’s Day to you! ❤️

      Liked by 2 people

      • I can’t wait to find out what the critter was. Just as well it is cold, any warmer and if it had died in the roof space, its carcass might’ve become a home for other nasty things to settle. Yuk yuk.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Yes, you’ve taken this to its logical conclusion IF the critter is now among the dearly departed and still in our house. I’m trying to not dwell on that possibility, hoping that the critter is out of the house and roaming free in the woods behind the house… WHERE IT BELONGS.

          Liked by 2 people

  72. [After I shut down I realized I saw this post earlier, then it disappeared from my feed so I accessed it via Twitter – sigh.] Is the problem resolved now? I have the recurring problem of squirrels chewing on the telephone line, moisture gets into the cable causing static, then a dead landline … at least ATT deals with that outside at their expense My grandmother got squirrels in the attic years ago. We were visiting her at the time before the exterminator’s arrival. Luckily they didn’t do too much damage … but she had to have repairs done. PS – we have so many elderly people walk away from home or assisted living places, many who have dementia and many do not have a good outcome.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Linda, thanks for finding me to talk about my woes. I didn’t know squirrels would chew on telephone lines, but on the other hand… of course they do. The problem is on hold for the moment. The noise has stopped but we still don’t know how [if?] a critter got into the house. More on this topic IF there is more to tell. As far as I know the elderly woman was found. There’ve been no more alerts which usually mean the situation has been resolved.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Hopefully the critter got out the way it came in and you don’t have to worry about a carcass somewhere. We had a bird get caught in the eaves trough that runs across the patio awning. So the eaves trough is hollow and it is dark. The bird cheeped for two days and we didn’t know where it was. We couldn’t imagine how it got trapped that far inside the “pipe” so we asked our neighbor for guidance – he climbed up and took the pipe apart. I don’t like to climb on ladders and would not have known how to take apart the pipes to find it. We had a blind man go missing the other day – he left the house for a walk without a coat. He was found the next day – they don’t know where he spent the night.

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  73. Oh, dear, as I’m late to this party, I hope that your other rays of sunshine were able to brighten your day. You know, even though I’m retired, I still think of Fridays as TGIF, so even if it starts off bad, I still have the weekend to look forward to. Right. I guess my brain hasn’t fully adapted to my new non-calendar life. I hope you found and extricated whatever was trying to escape from your house. Let’s hope it was a terrifying enough experience (for the critter) that it won’t come back 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Marie, the thing about this blog is that the party never seems to end! I allow comments on posts for three weeks, then I close down the bar, so to speak. I wonder IF when Z-D retires, something I’ll only believe when I see it, IF then the concept of weekends will fade from memory?

      Liked by 1 person

      • I limited comments to two weeks on my blog. I got tired of going through all the spam 🤦🏼‍♀️ For me, the jury is still out on whether TGIF will fade from memory. I do feel a shift from “Yay, it’s the weekend. Let’s go [fill in the blank with some fun out-in-public activity]” to “It’s the weekend. Let’s stay in and do the [fun out-in-public activity] during the week when everyone else is at work.” 🙂

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  75. First-time reader!

    Um, I had legit heart palpitations when you talked about the noise. After years of wanting to get out of a cramped apartment and into our own living space…lets just say 4 years of home ownership has taught me there is ALWAYS something wrong (much like having children has taught me there will ALWAYS be someone crying/unhappy).

    Sigh. Last week it was a leaky window during a rainstorm (thankfully this window and the whole little entryway space it is in needs to be replaced…but still). A few months ago it was a broken pipe that sent water cascading down over ALL MY WRAPPED Christmas presents (I’m not kidding – clearly I wouldn’t kid about something as traumatic as having to unwrap sodden gifts, dry them off, and then re-wrap them).

    The common theme (and there are many more examples than the ones I list above) tends to be issues with the plumbing. Maybe I should go live in a windowless shack in the woods and set up an outhouse?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Elisabeth, thanks for joining in the comments with your observation that there’s always something wrong in a house that you own. I agree and realize this noise situation is a perfect example of the downside of home ownership.

      Your pipes broke over your wrapped Christmas presents? That is the saddest thing I’ve read in ages. What a MESS! My sympathy on your unfortunate home debacle.

      While you could go live in a shack with an outhouse, I bet that you wouldn’t like it. Critters are known to scurry around those buildings, maybe even set up residence in the walls! 😳

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    • Gwen, this is one of dumb problems that makes me anxious and snarly and realize how it’s going to cost us big bucks to have it solved. The critter getter guy comes here tomorrow.

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  77. Hi Ally. Hope you’re having a much better (and later morning) by the time you get this comment. Just had to ask – since I haven’t been following your blog as long as others – there must be a story behind the nickname “Zen-Den”. Maybe a blog post? Do tell 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dave, Zen-Den is called that because years ago when we were in college my roommate used to call him Den-Den. After Den-Den and I got married I starting calling him Zen-Den because he can listen to me ramble on about something, then sum up my monologue in a pithy Zen koan. It’s infuriating at times, but he does seem to get to the essence of my woes.

      Liked by 1 person

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